The Letters 
by Beth

Synopsis: 5th generation of Christy looks through a trunk.

Part one 

Tucked away in the corner, there sat a large
trunk. It had been hidden away all these years, untouched
and holding its treasures and secrets like a time capsule
to another era. This trunk had traveled many miles and
was the holder of a woman's lifetime of memories. The
wooden trunk with its leather straps and layers of
dust had been handed down through the generations of my
family. Typically, the eldest girl would use this trunk
when she left for college. It would come home and be
repacked with 'treasure'. It was time for the trunk to be
emptied again. Time for another generation to head off to
college. My Great-grandmother would have been proud. Her
initials were still on the brass nameplate - CRHM.

The attic was hot and muggy on this glorious summer
afternoon. The heavy lid groaned as I tugged it open. It
had been years since my husband and father lugged the trunk
up the attic stairs of our new home. I had forgotten what
was in it.

I smiled when I realized this trunk was filled with history
- my history - my mother's history and my daughter's. I
was tempted to sit and wander through the trunk's contents
alone. But I felt that I must share the wondrous contents
with my daughter. I called down the attic stairs, but could
not be heard over the din of the stereo. I climbed down
the stairs to find my daughter, Catharine, dancing and
singing to her favorite group, Back - something or other.

"Catharine!" I tried to yell above the music. I chuckled
when I realized she couldn't carry a tune any better than
I could, "CATHARINE!"

She must have heard me, she jumped- it seemed halfway to
the ceiling, "What!?" was her reply.

"Turn it down! Thank you." I took a deep breath, knowing
that it would be difficult to entice Catharine to the
marvels of history in the attic. "Catharine, there is
something I want to show you up in the attic."

"What is it?", she asked.

"It's your Great-great grandmother's trunk and..."

Catharine interrupted me, "Can I do it later? I want to go
meet Zach - he leaves next week for college. Anyway, what
could be in that old trunk that would mean anything to me?"

I took another deep breath, remembering that I had a
similar attitude about the trunk at her age.

"Cath, please, just indulge me. You're leaving soon for
college too. That trunk started a journey in 1912. That
journey continued through me and now to you. There are four
generations of memories in that trunk. and now it is time
for the fifth to start adding hers." Tears were slipping
from my eyes. I quietly chastised myself for crying -- I
didn't want Catharine to know that I was scared and sad
that she was leaving the safety of home.

"Mom, I'm not going to be gone forever. Or that far away
for that matter, just a days car ride."

"Please, Cath, for me."

Catharine looked at the floor and at me again. I saw a
solitary tear and heard a quiet, "OK".

~~~

As we settled onto some old boat cushions on the floor,
Catharine spied the contents of the trunk.

"Mom! What IS this?"

"This is yours and my history. Go on --- take a
look." Catharine reached in and removed a leather bound
book. Its pages were now yellow with age and very brittle.

"Whose was this?"

"That was your Great-great grandmother's journal."

"And the bundles of envelopes?"

"Those are her letters from your Great-great grandfather,
and her parents, children and friends. And each generation
has added their letters and journals."

"Mom, do you mean that we have all of their words about
their lives?" Catharine asked excitedly.

"Yes, I do. This is a most precious gift."

Catharine opened the journal and there on one page was
a sketch of a handsome woman. In neat script below the
drawing was the name, "Miss Alice". Tucked in the binding
of the book, between the pages, was a leaf. Fragile enough
to blow to dust, sturdy enough to endure generations of
loving touches. Catharine was amazed to find it there. She
read the entry that accompanied the leaf. Finally she said
aloud, "Hold onto joy".

We were quiet for several moments. I watched as Cath traced
the outline of the leaf. Gently I placed my hand on hers
and said, "Cath, if you'd like to go see Zach, we could
do this later."

"No, Mom. Great-great grandmother Christy left me a gift. I
want to open it."

Part two 

The sun created shadow that danced across
the attic's contents. Catharine and I sat beside the
open trunk, I smiled at her. She wanted to dive into her
history. I was so happy. My heart swelled with the thought
that before she departed for college, she would take the
sense of history of her family with her. Hopefully, this
history would guide her in the decisions that she had
to make. The women of our family were strong, stubborn,
sensitive, and deeply committed. My daughter would know
of these women, not only from stories, but from their
mementos of life.

Catharine held the journal in her lap and reached into
the trunk. She held a small velvet pouch in her hands. I
hadn't seen the pouch in years!

"Oh my." Catharine could barely hear me.

"What is it, Mom?"

"Open it"

Catharine untied the gold chord on the purple pouch. The
soft folds fell away to reveal the treasure it held. Cath
pulled the delicate silver chain up to reveal a small
cross dangling from it.

"Who's was it?", Cath asked.

"That cross was your Great-great grandmother Christy's. It
was given to her by her Grandmother Isabel Huddleston. She
wore the cross faithfully, everyday until her daughter
was married. She passed it on to her on the morning of her
wedding. And on her daughter's wedding day, it was passed
along. The necklace was passed along from there. My mother
passed it to me and when you find the love of your life
and chose to get married, it will be yours."

"Why is it in the trunk? Why aren't you wearing it?"

"Well, it is so delicate that my grandmom started the
tradition of only wearing it on the wedding day and the
Christening day of the children. I keep it in the trunk
because it is safest there! You were a small girl when you
found it in my jewelry box and nearly dropped it down the
heating vent!"

Catharine blushed at the memory and the realization
that SHE had almost lost the necklace. To hide her
embarrassment, she continued to page through the journal,
reading and skimming as she went.

"Mom, listen to this!

'May 15, 1914. Ben Pentland delivered the mail today and
some exciting news. A train has been stranded in El Pano;
it is a circus train! Repairs will take many days and the
Cole Brothers Traveling Circus will be performing during
the delay. Day after tomorrow, the children and I will
venture to El Pano to see the circus. The children have
never seen a circus before - this shall be a wonderful
experience. Fairlight, Miss Alice, David, Neil, and Uncle
Bogg have agreed to help supervise the children during
our long walk. I hope more families will participate- they
may since this is such an oddity.

'May 18, 1914. Yesterday was an exhilarating and exhausting
day. The older children were a tremendous help with the
little ones. Some in the cove refuse to go see the circus
out of superstition.

'The circus was amazing! There were at least fifty cars
of all colors and sizes that completed the train. I had
never seen a tent so large in my life. The colors were
brilliant and vibrant. The sounds were enough to make me
giddy and feel like a young child again. Miss Alice smiled
the entire day.

'The exotic animals amazed the children. Zach was
intrigued by the lions. What loud sounds come from a
creature of God. The enormous paws and claws could tear
through the deepest thicket of vines. Mountie was scared
of the clowns. She had never seen one before and I must
admit the painted faces took me aback also. But by the
end of the performance, she was giggling while sitting on
my lap. Zady, Bessie, and Ruby Mae enjoyed the high wire
act and are determined to try this back in the cove. The
sideshow was of great interest to many of the children. A
glimpse of another world; one of whimsy filled with
brilliant colors and multitudes of sounds that set the
toes tapping will be lifetime memories for the children.

'My favorite was the calliope music. How my heart and
spirits soared hearing those wonderful notes. After a very
wet and gloomy spring, the music was a wonderful, uplifting
experience. The children endured the long walk well and
Neil and David made gallant efforts not to argue.'"

"Mom, Great-great Grandmother Christy WALKED from the
Mission to El Pano?? When we visited last year, that was
a long drive even by car!"

"Well, she was a remarkable woman."

Catharine read silently for awhile. Suddenly, she looked
at me with wide eyes.

"Mother! Great-great grandmother was in the middle of a
love triangle!!"

The expression on her face and tone of voice made me laugh.

"Cath, it wasn't exactly soap opera material! Two men
fell in love with her and she had to make a decision as
to whose name was imprinted on her heart."

"Like that would be simple." Cath replied with a hint of
sarcasm in her voice.

"Read the journal. It wasn't simple, at all."

Part three 

Catharine adjusted her boat cushion so she would
be more comfortable. She continued to read aloud from her
Great-great grandmother's journal.

"'June 2, 1914. This has been a most difficult week in
the cove. The men have been visiting a tea house in El
Pano. Chipped tea cups filled with moonshine was not the
only attraction. Women with no petticoats or stockings
would 'dance' for the men. I thought David was frequenting
this establishment also. I later learned he wasn't but he
was present when the women and I decided to "have a cup of
tea". I was shocked to find him there- later he assured
me he was only inviting the ladies to church. David says
I'm too innocent to understand, but he was the one caught
in the tea house. Just when I thought the day couldn't be
worse, Margaret was at the tea house in the most improper
attire. My heart ached for Miss Alice. Margaret continues
to hurt her. I want to believe that Margaret doesn't hurt
Miss Alice intentionally; I'm afraid I'm being overly
optimistic.

'The week continued on its downward spiral. Neil and I did
share some comforting and glorious moments in the meadow
by the pond. It all came to an abrupt end, as Dan Scott's
cabin burnt to the ground. Creed Allen, as I suspected,
was smoking rabbit tobacco and it got away from him. Dan
thought Bird's Eye Taylor had deliberately set his cabin
afire. Dan is now trying to come to terms with his anger
towards Bird's Eye. Some of his anger is founded in truth
and Bird's Eye needs to accept the fact that Dan is a part
of this cove.

'Fairlight and I went to our lookout. This has become my
quiet place to think, draw, relax. David had informed me he
was putting the last payment on 'my' ring and expects an
answer. I didn't know what to do. I'm so uncertain of my
feelings for David. I do love David-- but is it as a wife
should love her husband? And the dreams I have been having
haven't helped. Fairlight is my closest friend-- I trust
her opinion. I asked her how she knew Jeb was for her. She
asked me some thought provoking questions. Who is my best
friend? Who do I tell my most inner thoughts to? My heart
and my mind answered resoundingly, Neil MacNeill--the same
man who makes my blood boil! I wanted to rush to him, to
tell him how I felt. I know he is married in the eyes of
God, but not in his heart. We needed to talk about many
things-- Margaret and his faith being two of them.

'I knew my answer to David's proposal now -- or I thought I
did until I found Margaret in Neil's arms by the river. I
wanted to scream, but sound wouldn't come out. I ran-- I
wanted to run where everything would be safe. I wanted to
run to my children and the school, my safe haven. I thought
Miss Alice would be there teaching her weekly lesson. David
was there with the children instead. I was so hurt by
what I saw that I welcomed the hug from David. Then to
my amazement he pulled a small blue velvet box from his
pocket and asked me to marry him. As I took the box from
David, Neil rode up without Margaret. I wondered why he
had come and why so quickly. I knew my decision would
forever alter the course of my life and those around me.

'I closed the box that I still held in my hand. I looked
at the children- how wonderful they are. Each holds a
special place in my heart for many reasons. What they
must have thought watching me stand there between two
men who anxiously awaited my answer. I knew that I must
set forth a good example. How often had I lectured the
children about marriage? Now marriage had been proposed
to me - for the second time by the same man. Which road
was to home- David's or Neil's?

'I handed David the ring box and ran to my quiet place. I
have just returned from there. The mission is quiet
except for the light coming from Miss Alice's cabin. I
have decided that I cannot marry David. I do love him
but as a dear friend. He isn't connected to the cove the
way I am. He treats me as a child who needs rescuing
and protection. Even though we have talked, I don't
know if he really listens. He wants me to believe as he
believes. While I share many of his beliefs, I have made
them mine. I have realized during my time here in the cove
that I truly believe in God and his teachings...not because
someone told me I shall believe this way. My convictions
and faith lead me and I trust in God's plan for me. I
have prayed to God about David's proposal and I feel in
my heart and soul that David is in God's plan-- just not
as my husband.'"

Catharine looked up at me,

"Oh my," she sighed, "that must have been so hard to
endure."

"Great-great Grandma Christy placed her life in God's
hands. She KNEW He had a plan for her."

"Thank God she trusted Him." Catharine paused.

"And why do you say that?", I asked.

"Well, if she didn't, I wouldn't be here!"

At this, we both laughed until a loud grumbling noise
startled me.

I jumped, "What was that?" I asked laughingly.

"I think it was my tummy."

"Oh, at least it isn't a mouse."

"Mother!!" Cath said while rolling her eyes.

"Cath, why don't I go make us some sandwiches and you look
through the trunk some more."

"Sounds great! Lunch with some history on the side!"

"Cath!" I said while rolling my eyes.

Part four
The back door opened and Jeff stepped through. He
filled the frame with his tall, muscular body. After 22
years of marriage, he still took my breath away.

"Hi, hon." he said, depositing a kiss on my cheek, "Where's
the kids?"

"David is at his friends and Cath is in the attic." I
notice Jeff's puzzled look and explained the morning's
events until I heard Cath running down the stairs. She
ran into the kitchen still carrying the journal, but now
she had two letters in her hand.

"You guys HAVE to listen to this!", she said breathlessly.

"Great-great Grandma Christy told David no to his proposal,
and he wasn't happy at all, but that not important
right now. She realized she loved Neil, but he was still
married. Margaret had a fight with her mother and Neil
didn't want her staying with him. So she tried to go back
to El Pano. Something must have gone wrong, and the mail
guy, umm, uh.... Ben Pentland found her and brought her
back to Neil's. She got really sick and ended up staying
at the mission because Neil was busy with a flu epidemic
in Low Gap. She stayed at the mission even after Neil came
back. Apparently her and Miss Alice patched things up and
Margaret also made her peace with God and Neil."

"I remember reading all that. It was quite a trying time
on Grandma Christy. But what are the letters? I don't
remember them."

"They're from Margaret."

"Margaret's letters to her mother are in the trunk??"

"No, letters to Christy and Neil."

"You're kidding. Read 'em!!"

"OK, the first one is to Grandma Christy.

'July 4, 1914. Dearest Christy, My time on this earth is
drawing to a close. I wanted to leave behind more than the
memories of hatefulness and sickness. You were right when
we talked at the tea house so many months ago. I wanted
Mother and Neil to welcome me home, but I didn't make
that easy for anyone. I always seemed to want something
and when it got close, I pushed it away.

'You had said Neil was worth fighting for. I had wondered
if you were talking about me or you. I loved Neil because
he was everything my Mother would disapprove of. I
reveled against her and eventually against Neil. These
mountains are in his blood, his soul. I see that they are
in yours too.

'I am grateful for all of the talks since my return,
especially those while I was here at the mission. I used
to think you were like Pollyanna, but you are so much
more. You are a wonderful, caring person whose friendship
I don't deserve.

'I want you to know that Neil is worth fighting for. I
have written him a letter also. While we are married in
the eyes of the Church, our hearts do not belong to one
another. Our marriage failed many years ago. Christy, I
realize Neil is an honorable man and would mourn my death
as a husband, but I have released him. How appropriate he
will have freedom on Independence Day.

'My thoughts at my death are not of total sadness. I am
happy and thankful that I will be with my Lord and I find
peace and happiness that you and Neil will be together. You
are kindred spirits.

'My sadness is leaving Mother. I have found peace with
her and cherish the moments I have spent with her. Please
take care of her, Christy. She will need you. It warms my
heart to know she will have you here with her.

'May happiness fill your future, God's Blessings,
Margaret'"

Silence enveloped the room. Tears slipped from my eyes
as I said a prayer of thanksgiving for Margaret's words
to Christy. Catharine quietly slipped her hand into mine,
giving it a small squeeze.

"Mom, would you like to hear Neil's letter?"

I nodded my head and sat at the table unable to concentrate
on the half made sandwiches at the counter.

"'July 4, 1914. My darling Mac, You have just stepped from
the room. I saw the look in your eyes, I know the end is
near. I wanted to put my thoughts in writing for you to
read after I am gone.

'When we met so many years ago in Philadelphia, I thought
you the most handsome man. I still think that way. I am
sorry for the pain that I have caused you. I used you to
rebel against Mother. I thought I loved you, I do and did
but it wasn't a true and pure love. We were opposites, I
tried to change you, and you-me. I resented the Mountain
People, because you loved them and they loved you. I
could have made more of an effort, but I knew Cutter
Gap and our marriage weren't meant to me. I should have
said those words, instead of the hateful things I did and
said. My actions towards you and the people of Cutter Gap
were unforgivable.

'I have made peace with the Lord. He is Good and brings
a serenity to my life that I didn't know of before. I
encourage you Neil, to make your peace with God.

'Neil, I know you are an honorable man. And that you have
live by our vows, even when I didn't. I am eternally
grateful that you and I have resolved many things and
are friends.

'Neil, I release you. My legacy to you is freedom. Miss
Huddleston loves you. She has for some time, even if those
feelings weren't clear to her. And I know you return those
feelings. Your love for her is pure and true. Please,
Neil, find happiness, it is with Christy. You and she are
connected to these mountains and to each other. Go to her
Neil-- you need each other.

'Please give my necklace to Mother. It was a link to
her that was broken and reforged. I want her to have it
as a link to me when I return to the Lord. Take care of
her Neil.

'I must rest now. Your caring Dan concern have made my
last days easier It is a comfort to know that I will be
going home to the Lord.

In Love, and in Christ, Margaret.'"

Cath folded the letter, returning it to the envelope.

"According to the journal, Margaret died the night of July
4, 1914."

Part five 

The clock ticking on the wall was the only
sound in the kitchen. The sonic boom like banging of the
back door startled us all. David surveyed us and said,
"Whoa. Who died?" as only a 13 year old can say it.

"Margaret." Catharine sniffed.

"Who?" David asked in a curious tone.

Catharine filled her brother in on her newfound knowledge
while we ate lunch. "Cool!" was his response.

After lunch, I walked to the garden to harvest the latest
bounty that the earth had produced. My thoughts traveled
to my Great-grandmother's time. Gardens today help offset
grocery bills and are usually for enjoyment, I mused. Back
then, a garden was one of the main sources of food. How
much time has changed!

I must have been standing at the garden's edge for a long
time. Jeff came up from behind and slid his arms around
my waist. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Mmmmm. Hey you. I'm so grateful for you and the kids. We
really are so blessed- we have our home, our family. I know
we've struggled time to time financially - but we have a
strong family, don't we?" I was asking, not questioning,
for more of a confirmation of a known.

"Yes, we do." Jeff paused, giving me a gentle squeeze,
"What else?"

"I wish I had introduced Cath to the trunk earlier. I'm
going to miss her, Jeff."

"I know - so am I.", he said quietly.

"I try to tell myself she is too young to leave home,
but great-grandma was 19 when she left home to teach in
Cutter Gap."

"She comes from a strong heritage. She'll be fine. You'll
be fine. It's time for our little bird to fly from the
nest."

~~~

I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get a drink and sneak a
cookie. Who would know? It was 4 a.m., Cath was home from
her date hours ago, David had gone to bed earlier because
he had a camping trip in the morning, and the chocolate
chips were calling me!

As I headed down the hallway, I heard the attic floor
creak. My eyes immediately darted to the ceiling. A
shiver ran through my body. Everyone should be asleep--
but someone or something was in the attic. I knew Jeff
had repaired the broken window pane so Mr. Bandit, as the
kids called him, couldn't get in. I wondered if a raccoon
could be arrested for breaking and entering. As I took a
few more steps, I noticed the attic light was on.

"Well, if Mr. Bandit can turn on lights we're all in
trouble.", I said aloud.

"Mom? Mom? Is that you?" a rather loud whisper wafted down
the stairs.

"Is that you, Cath, or is Mr. Bandit into impersonation?"

"Mother! You can be so weird!"

I climbed the stairs to find Cath wrapped in a lavender
terry robe with a faded quilt covering her legs. The blue
background of the quilt was fading to a muddy blue, the
stars and moon were now pale yellow. The flowers around
the border which were once vibrant spoke of time gone by.

"Was it Great-great grandma's?" she asked as her hand
lovingly caressed the myriad of fabrics, touching upon
the even stitches that hands so long ago made.

"Yes." I sighed, thinking I should have hung the quilt on
the wall instead of storing it in the trunk. I was proud
of my heritage, but I had kept it hidden in a trunk all
these years.

"Why did you keep it in the trunk?", Cath asked, almost
as if she could see my thoughts.

"Well, somehow, I thought I could preserve it keeping it
tucked away. I had stored it away many years ago telling
myself it was better this way. You and your brother
were pretty rambunctious and there were always lots of
kids. Looking back, it was foolish. These things should
be out and displayed or used!"

"So," I continued, "what more have you learned?"

"There's a letter from Great-great-great grandmother
Huddleston. Want me to read it?"

I nodded and Cath read,

"'July 20, 1914. My darling Christy, I was so relieved to
receive your letter dated July 8. Letters aren't taking as
long as usual. I am saddened by the news of Miss Alice's
daughter's passing. Please extend my condolences to her.

'Christy, even though I know you wish to be there to
comfort Miss Alice, you must think of yourself dear. Your
father and I feel that you should come home for the
remainder of the summer. It has been so long since we have
seen you. A visit would do your father good.

'A visit would also help you clarify your 'feelings', my
dear. I must admit, I was saddened by your news that you
turned down the good Reverend's proposal. Christy, do
you know what you would be getting yourself into with a
relationship with a widower?

'I will send train fare for your return home. As you wrote
in your letter, the new girl Rose is there. She can look
after things while you are away.

With love, Mother.'"

"Wow, she doesn't sound friendly at all!" Catharine
exclaimed.

"My understanding was she was very stubborn but devoted. I
can't remember-- did Christy go home?"

"Well- let me look." Cath turned the brittle pages of the
journal so lovingly that I felt a lump come to my throat
as I watched her. I slid beneath the quilt to listen to
her read aloud.

"Here,

'August 2, 1914. I received a letter from Mother today. I
love her dearly, but at times she can make me angry. Mother
wants me to come home but I am needed here. I am torn -
I know I should honor my parents wishes but my heart and
head are willing me to stay in Cutter Gap.

'Rose Campbell has arrived to help out at the
mission. There is so much to introduce her to and help
catch up. I need to prepare for the start of the school
term. We, Miss Alice, David, and myself, decided that
school must begin early so we can give time off for the
harvest. Rose has agreed to teach cooking classes and we
are going to start some cleaning classes incorporated into
the hygiene classes.

'Neil has been struggling since Margaret passed away. I
know what is bothering him is more than Margaret. I
think Neil is continuing his journey towards God. We have
gone on many long walks together, both of us feel it is
inappropriate for me to visit his cabin at this time. I
have encountered the mountain people's suspicions before
about innocent behavior. At this time, we both do not
need gossip. Neil and I are learning about our feelings
for one another and I don't want anything to spoil this
wondrous time.

'Neil has struggled with guilt that he had not tried harder
to honor his vows, but Miss Alice reminded him that while
Neil honored his vows even after Margaret re-appeared,
Margaret did not honor those vows. Miss Alice told Neil
that he was a good man and that the Lord shines his light
upon him.

'Miss Alice and Neil have also been talking lately. Neil
is joining Miss Alice on a retreat. They leave in the
morning. I pray that Neil finds the answer he is looking
for. I know that his journey to God must be his own. Neil
cannot just Believe because I do or Miss Alice does, or
that people feel he should. he has to want God in his
life. It's funny, Neil has taught me that-- Beliefs need
to come from the heart and soul and be our own- not mirrors
of others, or because it is what others want us to do.

'I have decided to stay here. It is where I want to
be. C.'"

Both Cath and I let out a deep sigh. The words Cath read
were so thoughtful and thought provoking. We sat there
together, under Great-grandma's quilt watching the sky
change from its most dark to a soft simmering pastel hues
that caressed the tree outside the window. The new day's
sun crept into the attic, gently warming it and giving
the Lord's blessing to a new wonderful day.