Here is my stab. I have borrowed an idea of an old story
of mine. Beware it is a bit of a tear jerker.

"The Healing Properties of Snow" by Beth

The warm ambience of the fire flushed my face and despite
the freezing conditions beyond the warm cabin I began to
perspire shifting awkwardly in my seat. The effort to move
my unwieldy frame out of the comfortable rocker was almost
reason enough to bear the lesser burden of heat, but I knew
that I needed to move or would be punished more severely
later. Under normal circumstances I could have asked Neil
to help me but that was out of the question. Angry tears
stung my eyes as I watched my husband who of late seemed
more like my jailor, snore contently by the fire oblivious
to the turbulent thoughts cascading through my mind. The
truth was I was tired of it all. Tired of the attention
that never ceased to stop past my swollen abdomen. Tired
of hearing all of the birthing horror stories. Tired of
being couped up in this cabin like an exotic bird in a
gilded cage. Worst of all, I was tired of the arguments
with my husband.

Our impending parenthood had filled us with such joy. I had
studied my swelling abdomen daily and was jubilant when
I finally had to give up my fitted clothes for the more
flowing and loosely fitted maternity wear. I had been so
well and teaching had not been a burden, accept I was more
tired than usual. Neil called me his lady- in- waiting and
teased me about my strange appetite and propensity to snore
as soon as I settled into my rocking chair before the old
grandfather clock had a chance to chime seven. But in these
last few months a subtle change had passed over Neil and
cast a shadow on our relationship. His loving and jovial
disposition was subtly transformed into paternalistic and
overprotective behaviours more reminiscent of a father
than a husband.

The metamorphosis took place around the time of quickening
and was subtle at first and then more demanding. For
instance he insisted that I give up teaching before I
entered my seventh month. I had to concede that I had been
lucky to make it this far. The traditional mountainfolk
were beginning to mumble about it being indecorous for a
young matron so obvious in the family way to teach their
young'un. I had reluctantly handed over my charges to
two very endearing and capable teachers, two sisters from
Wisconsin, Sarajane and Daniaele McMullen

I consoled myself that I would fill up the time before
the baby was born with visiting and teaching the womenfolk
to read. I was however, soon to find that the Doctor had
quite a different routine in store for me. He insisted
that I rest for long periods and was not to leave the cabin
without him. He greatly reduced his workload handing much
over to Miss Alice and Daniel Scott. He spent long hours on
his trachoma research greatly aided by his money grant. But
all of these limitations would have counted for nought if
Neil's attitude to me were not so materially changed. I
no longer knew what he thought. He no longer sought my
opinion but made decisions that affected me and refused
to discuss them. Our age gap that had always seemed to
be an asset now seemed to be an ever-widening gulf. It
seemed to me that he no longer cared for me as a person
but more for the baby that grew in side me. I yearned for
my mother yet this made me feel more child-like. I found
myself descending in a melancholic state and pondered what
it must have been like for Margaret all those years ago
left for long periods of time without female companionship.

Our current stony silence had resulted from an argument
that had taken place this morning. I had awoken early after
a restless night sleep. Neil who had been out late the
night before on a house call at the Spencers was still fast
asleep. I crept out of bed and slowly padded to the window
and was greeted with the most picturesque of views. A soft
blanket of newly fallen snow stretched out before me like
a winter wonderland. I recalled with fond memories the
fun Neil and I had had during our courtship playing like
children in the snow, building snowmen and having snow
fights. I felt my spirits lift some and impulsively pulled
on a combination of Neil's and my garments and hurried
outside to commune with nature. I had planned to surprise
Neil with a snowman and was so engrossed with this project
failed to notice that he was now my spectator. Instead
of the warm- hearted welcome I had so hoped for, I found
myself staring into his grim countenance. I opened my
mouth to try and explain myself but he got there before me.

"Hour could you be so irresponsible" he admonished
angrily. "You could have slidden and hurt yourself. Gone
into premature labour. Not to mention catching your death
of cold".  He would have kept going but I gave him one
devastating look and simply left the scene without a
word. I had then proceeded to lock myself in our room
crawling back into the still warm bed and fell into a
despondent sleep. Later I had come out to be closer to
the fire and had found Neil asleep in his rocking chair. I
tried to occupy my restless mind with some needlework from
the baby's layette, but was too pre-occupied and found I
was undoing more mistakes than making progress. I ended
up just simply staring into the fire, pleading silently
with God to help Neil and I sort out our differences.

My trance was interrupted by Neil's gentle brogue, "Christy
lass, you are so unhappy tell me what is on your mind."

I was taken aback at Neil's gentle manner that tears
began to course down my cheeks, as all of my weeks of
unhappiness and loneliness outpoured. Neil looked at me
helplessly but then came closer, pulling me with ease out
of my uncomfortable position into his big strong embrace,
still easily able to encircle my whole rounded frame. I
yielded to his embrace and found comfort there for the
first time in a long time. After a long silence Neil spoke
softly, "I know I have been very cautious lately it is
just, the baby."

"The baby! The Baby! " I found myself shouting. "It is
all you think about! You don't care about me anymore! You
don't trust me!"

"Is that what you believe Christy?" He said with such
anguish, pulling me away slightly so that he could stare
deeply into my eyes.

"It is so far from the truth. I think about you all
the time. I am a worried sick about your upcoming
confinement. Don't get me wrong I care about the baby too
but I just can't bare to think that something might happen
to you in this godforsaken place!"

Then in a hoarse whisper," How could I ever live without
you?"

Suddenly everything made sense, Neil's behaviour was his
way of trying to shield me from harm. He had seen so much
suffering .He had watched his first wife and son die in
childbirth. I felt ashamed how self-absorbed I had been
and how oblivious I had been to Neil's feelings. It was
my turn now to take Neil into my arms.

"Neil you do not have such power." I chided him gently;
" Only God can deliver me safely through childbirth. I
am not afraid. I believe he will bring us all safely
through. Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling?"

"I didn't want to worry you or put uneasy thoughts
into your mind. It is just so hard for me to trust God
sometimes. I stand to lose so much. I still see his
face. I still talk to him every day." He was crying now
and his intensity of emotion was frightening. It reminded
me of when he first declared his love for me and called
me to him from heaven.

" Dearest I am so sorry that you have suffered so! Are you
talking of your baby Neil?" I probed gently, "Can you tell
me about him?"

"He was so tiny. His skin was transparent and his eyes were
still fused. He took tiny shallow breaths and I knew he
would not be with me for long. But he was my son and I felt
such and intensity of love for him.  I wrapped him warmly
and just sat by the fire with him and talked." Neil's
melodic brogue trailed off as he drifted deeper into his
reverie, almost unaware of my presence.

"What did you him Neil?" I probed gently after a long
silence. My question startled him momentarily then he
finished thoughtfully.

"All sort of things like; where the best place is to find
spearheads, where you can watch the deer drink and where
to find the best fish. I told him not to be scared to go
onto the next place and that his granny was there waiting
for him. He died after an hour. I dressed him in one of
Margaret's doll clothes and buried him down by the river. I
talk to him down there all the time."

"Thank-you so much for sharing this with me Neil." I
said simply.

Neil who felt a little awkward after a display of such
intense feeling simply drew me close and gently kissed me
on the lips. We held each other for a while savouring the
sweet tenderness that comes with forgiveness. I silently
thanked God for answering my prayer, knowing that Neil
and I would move into a deeper maturer love from here,
one that would not hide our fears.

"Now this doctor has some strict orders for you Mrs
MacNeill" said he very grimly.

"Mrs MacNeill will obey whatever he commands," said
I demurely.

"The doctor orders that the snowman be built at once. There
is a be said for the healing properties of snow"

The yearly building of a snowman became a MacNeill
tradition. Two joyous laughs were soon joined by four
childish screams and the one snowman soon became a family
of snowmen. I often stood watching the snowmen long after
the others were bored, pondering how incredibly lucky I was
to be loved by this man and be the mother of his children.