The Greatest Sacrifice by Bethany DISCLAIMER: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by the Marshall-LeSourd Family. I am in no way seeking profit or credit for her story; I am simply continuing it for my own enjoyment. Similarities to other works of fiction are purely coincidental, and I have invented any additions to the story line or itscharacters. The contents of this story are not to be distributed, archived, or posted in any form without the explicit permission of the writer. Chapter 1 Standing between Neil and David, Christy looked at the delicate ring in her hands. David had asked her to marry him, to marry him! She was flattered. He had proposed to her before, but he had never told her he loved her. She smiled as she took the beautiful ring out of the blue velvet box. "He must have saved up for this for months," she thought. Suddenly appreciation welled in her for the tall man standing in front of her, looking at her with eyes so full of anticipation and longing. Momentarily forgetting everything, Christy studied the ring in her hands. She was about to slip the ring onto her finger when she remembered the other figure at her side. Neil. Then all at once her thoughts seemed to come to a halting stop, the ring frozen in mid-air. Her hasty retreat from his cabin flooded back into her memory. How could she have forgotten that Neil was married? She had galloped away after finding Neil in his ex-wife's arms. No, not ex-wife, she thought to herself. Wife. Neil was still married. She had ridden over to Neil's to tell him...to tell him what? That she loved him? She didn't know. But she must not have been thinking clearly, she told herself. She didn't have feelings for him. She could never develop feelings for a married man. She shook her head as if the banish the confusion. It didn't matter now. He was married. And more than that, his wife was back and he had obviously forgiven her. From the looks of things, they were picking up from before she disappeared. So then why was he here? He must just have thought there was a medical emergency. Yes, that must be it. Christy turned her attention once again to David. She loved him, at least, she was pretty sure she loved him. He would make such a wonderful husband, and she did have a good time when he was around. Her parents would be proud of her. They always wanted her to find someone worthy of their status. But Neil.... Her thoughts trailed off once again. As if to stop the train of thought once and for all, she slipped David's ring onto her finger. "David, I will marry you," she said, smiling with more enthusiasm than she felt. David reached her in a few steps and picked her up in his arms. As he twirled her around in the air to the sounds of the children rushing out to congratulate them, she couldn't help but hear one sound above all the others. She turned her head and watched as Neil galloped away, leaving a trail of dust behind him. Chapter 2 Neil couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. How could she have said yes to him? He didn't know how she could have been so foolish. She didn't love him, that was obvious enough. Yet, the picture of her slipping his ring onto her finger certainly made it seem like she did, and he just couldn't shake the image. As he galloped towards home at a dangerous speed, his only thoughts were getting as far away from the happy couple as he could. He suddenly snapped back into the present and slowed himself when he realized how fast he had been forcing Charlie. The horse gasped for breath as Neil brought the tired animal to a slow trot. He patted the horse lovingly, apologizing for his selfishness. Charlie welcomed the slower pace and Neil's gentle stroke and tossed his head back and whinnied. When Neil was nearing his cabin, he saw Margaret's bag and umbrella still perched outside on his step. Margaret. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to face her yet. He wasn't ready. Turning Charlie around in the other direction, Neil didn't know exactly where he wanted to be, he just knew where he didn't want to be. He took off down the same path he had just traveled, letting Charlie choose where he wanted to go. Neil rode around until dusk, hoping his thoughts would somehow sort themselves out. Why had he ridden over to the school? He had seen Miss Huddleston at his cabin, and the look on her face as she turned to gallop away told him that something wasn't right. He had followed her out of concern, that was all. Of course. But why had she left without saying anything in the first place? Before he could answer that question, he noticed the encroaching darkness. He decided it would be best to head home before it would be too dark to see. He had been out long enough, and couldn't avoid Margaret any longer. He hadn't realized how far he and Charlie had wandered until he started to navigate back through the woods to his cabin. It was nearly pitch black when he finally saw his cabin up ahead. As he neared his home, he saw a light on the in kitchen. Margaret hadn't left. He had thought she was out of his life, and here she was, showing up again, demanding attention. She had always been spoiled and self-centered, he thought to himself. As he climbed the steps towards the front door, he got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He still couldn't bring himself to enter that cabin, so he turned and sat instead in a rocker on the porch. Sitting there silently in the darkness, Neil waited for the answers to his questions. Why had Christy come in the first place? And why did she leave without saying a word? The questions tumbled over and over in his head, but still no answers came. Frustrated at his lack of understanding, he pounded his fist against the cabinet next to him, causing its contents to rattle. The clanking of the jugs inside reminded Neil that this was where he had stored the moonshine he bought from the local families. When they didn't have enough money, he would help them out by buying a jug or two. He never drank it, except on very rare occasions, and even then he did it sparingly. He mostly used it for illnesses; a shot of moonshine could be an effective medicine for some ailments. But it wasn't for medicinal use that Neil now pulled out the jug of moonshine. As he uncorked the brown jug, the sharp smell of the liquor pierced his nose. He exhaled and put the jug to his lips. He felt the liquid slide down his throat, but didn't feel any better. He sat back down in his chair as he continued to drink the poison, waiting to feel its effects. He cursed himself as the questions once again bombarded him. Why couldn't he get that woman out of his mind? His anger continued to build as he drank more and more moonshine. Why did Margaret have to come here? Margaret. He scoffed at himself. Once more he would have to put up with her antics until she decided to leave again. "I wish she would just leave NOW!" he screamed into the night. At that point, he didn't care if she heard him, it was true. He hated her. She had put him through Hell, and here she was back asking for sympathy. She was nothing but trouble, and she made him nothing but miserable. Well, at least someone will be happy, he thought, as he remembered Christy's engagement. But David didn't deserve her. He didn't love her the way she deserved to be loved. He only wanted to marry her because she was the only eligible, beautiful girl who lived within 50 miles. "Here's to David and Christy," he said as he lifted the jug into the air, sloshing a little onto the porch in the process. He lifted his feet up and propped them up on the railing. "May they have all the happiness I did," he said mockingly. Satisfied with his toast, he took a huge swig of moonshine and wiped his mouth as a trail dripped onto his shirt. No, he shouldn't say wish that on anyone. Silently taking back his harsh words, he hoped they would be happy. His confession had instantaneously wiped away his anger and replaced it only with sadness. No one should have a marriage like I had, he thought to himself, especially not Christy. I would never wish that for anyone, least of all, the woman I love. The woman I love? At that though he sat straight up so fast that his feet fell from the railing with a thud. No, no, it must just be the liquor talking, he decided. With a nod to himself reinforcing his conviction, he stood up and stretched. He must have been sitting for longer than he thought, as his aching muscles yelled at him. I'll just avoid Margaret and go to bed. Banishing all thoughts of Christy from his mind, he corked what little was left of the moonshine, put it down next to the rocking chair, and stepped up to the door. He could not have been prepared for the sight that greeted him as he walked into his cabin. Chapter 3 While Neil was avoiding his cabin, his absence was fueling the hatred in Margaret as she sat alone in the empty living room. She was furious at him for having ridden off after that schoolteacher. Who did Christy think she was anyway? She was so mad at him, at Christy, at her illness, at everything! Why could nothing go right in her life? Neil was HER husband! Christy had no right to try to take him from her! And what was more, Neil seemed as captivated by her as she was by him! How could Neil leave her there, standing alone at his cabin? She was finally showing him the emotional honest side of her, and what does he do? He leaves her to chase after some little girl who had the world wrapped around her finger. Well, she told herself, being sincere obviously gets you nowhere! "Fine!" she yelled to the empty cabin, "If he wants to try to play house with someone else, I'll give him something to really come home to!" With that, she crossed the room to the table and grabbed a dish, obviously left when Neil had breakfast that morning. Without a second thought, she dropped it onto the ground, and watched as the dish shattered into pieces and pierced the air with a crash. Fragments flew everywhere, but she didn't care. No one walked out on her without regretting it. As Margaret continued her rampage throughout the cabin, she would stop occasionally to look at the items she was destroying. She picked up the pipe Neil used to smoke, and read the inscription. She still didn't know what it meant, but she knew Neil treasured it. She tossed it across the room as she continued to reek havoc on the tiny cabin. As she made her way around the kitchen and living room, she paused at the locked door. Neil had shown her what was in there before and had tried to explain the slides and the research. Everything had seemed perfectly boring to her, and she only pouted and whined that she couldn't believe eyeballs where taking her husband away from her. That would be the best way to get back at him, she thought wickedly. She searched around the room for something to break the lock with, her eyes settling on a fire stoker. She grabbed it from against the fireplace and raised it above her head to strike the lock. One good whack should be all it took. With all of her force, she brought it down onto the lock with a loud clang that reverberated around the cabin. To her delight, it popped open. She quickly slid it off and opened the door. But as she was about to smash the bottles in front of her, she stopped. Did she really want to do this? Neil had ridden off after Christy, but maybe it wasn't because he wanted to be with her. After all, he was married to HER, like it or not, and she knew Neil would remain faithful to his vows. Maybe there really was a medical emergency or something. Maybe Christy just didn't want to disturb their special moment by the river. Maybe...maybe she had been too hard on Christy and Neil. Margaret lowered the stoker and backed out of the room. She couldn't be that heartless. After all, destroying years of Neil's life was no way to win back his heart. And she wanted to be back in his life. She wanted to be his wife again. Margaret closed the door to Neil's laboratory and did her best to replace the broken lock. She turned around to survey her damage. Boy, she really had messed up his cabin. No, she decided, she didn't want him to come home to a cabin looking like this. Hastily she began picking up objects and putting them back in their rightful places. She looked out the window and was surprised at how dark it had gotten. As she started straightening up, she chastised herself for letting her temper get the best of her. How did she expect to make Neil love her when she couldn't do anything right? She put the pillows back on the couch, and walked over to pick up the pipe she had thrown across the room. Thankfully it was in one piece. He would have been infuriated if she had broken that. He was going to be furious enough when he saw the cabin, but at least he wouldn't have one more thing to hate her for. She was so caught up in her effort to organize the cabin that she didn't hear Neil yell right outside the cabin. A few minutes later, as she was putting his pictures back on the wall, she thought she Neil's voice, but when she stopped what she was doing, she heard nothing else. Forgetting her momentary distraction, Margaret went back to tiding the cabin. She wanted to have it as clean as possible when Neil came home. IF Neil came home, she corrected herself. Margaret picked up a broom and began to sweep the fragments of the broken dish into a pile on the floor. Then she heard his footsteps outside. Neil must be home! Glancing around the room, she noticed that she had nowhere near cleaned up enough. She could only hope he wouldn't be too mad. Chapter 4 Neil entered the cabin and stopped short at the sight before him. Is that...Margaret sweeping?? He just stood there gaping at her, his mouth hanging open in complete surprise. Neil looked at her with such a dumbstruck expression that Margaret couldn't help but chuckle as she continued to sweep up the broken dishes that lay at her feet. She didn't say a word, and decided she would let him speak first. Looking at her, Neil didn't know whether to laugh or yell at her. The sight of Margaret working had momentarily erased the anger at her from his mind, and he continued to stare at the figure in front of him with amusement. But the sound of the dish shards being swept up broke him from his amused reverie. For the first time, Neil noticed that his cabin was in disarray. It looked like a storm had hit the place! Margaret, he seethed, she must have thrown a tantrum when I left. Who did she think she was? She is back in my life for a single day and already my cabin, and my life, are a mess. "Confounded woman!" he spat at her, "You're not a part of my life anymore! You can't blow in here and wreck everything decent in your way, and then hope to pick up the pieces and go on as if nothing happened!" He was furious. Anger was building in him and he didn't care. She didn't belong here. This wasn't her home anymore. "This is as much my home as it is yours!" she retorted back, her response mirroring the Doctor's thoughts, startling him with her astuteness. "You can't just throw me out! I have no where to go." She suddenly paused before plunging ahead with the words that were on the tip of her tongue. Taking a deep breath, she said, "And besides, we're still married!" During Margaret's angry words, Neil had been looking around the room in the aftermath of Margaret's rage. True, his cabin had never been spotless, far from it actually. But at least he kept some semblance of order. This...this was a mess, even for him. Her last statement brought him back to reality. He turned his head to the woman he thought he once loved and looked at her for a long moment. "No we're not," he said heatedly. "You stopped being my wife when you left me believing you were dead! Your return changes nothing! You are nothing to me anymore." Margaret squinted her eyes. How dare he? How can he say that to me, she fumed. Sure, I messed up his cabin a little, but can't he see I'm trying to put it back together? How can he be so unforgiving? It was then that she smelled the alcohol on his breath. So, it wasn't a medical emergency after all. Something must have happened with Christy. Margaret smirked to herself. Poor Neil seems to need some comforting after whatever that woman did to him. Forgetting her anger and adopting another tactic instead, she closed the rest of the gap between them. Emboldened by his weakened state, she placed her free hand on his shoulder, as the other still clutched the broom. "Oh, Mac, can't you see that we're supposed to be together? Every decision I've made in my life has led me here, to this moment, to you. Can't you see that?" She knew he had a hard time resisting her charm when he was sober, and now she knew he had no power over his emotions. Neil's head was too foggy to maintain his anger in the face of Margaret's charm. She was so beautiful, her long, dark, curly hair still as gorgeous as the day he married her. The day he married her. He took a step back from her, and staggered as he did. This was his wife. Maybe she really could change. His anger dissipated by her loving words, he gave her a half smile, and lowered his head. Yes, he can't deny me now. Even with her illness she knew she was still beautiful. Christy may try as she likes to get her hooks in him, but she has nothing on me. With that, she lifted his chin with her finger and kissed his lips. Kissing him lightly at first, she quickly deepened her attack when Neil didn't draw back. Victory is mine, her head shouted, and she pulled Neil closer to prove it. Chapter 5 Neil melted into Margaret's embrace. The kiss was so familiar and so exciting at the same time. His mind told him that he should pull away, but his senses were too caught up in her intoxicating magnetism. He couldn't fight her, especially not now, so he just let himself get swept away by the feelings that washed over him. Margaret felt Neil slip farther into the kiss. She tried to wrap her arms around him, but had forgotten the broom was in her hand. She pulled away momentarily to set the broom against the table, and then turned her attention back to Neil. Caressing his back, she tried to ignore the smell of alcohol permeating from him. He smells like a distillery, she thought. But she didn't care. He was completely hers now, and there was nothing that could change that. "Mmm," Neil moaned as Margaret ran her hands through his hair. "Oh, Christy." "CHRISTY!" Margaret shouted, pulling back as if she had been slapped. Damn her! Startled by Margaret's sudden reaction, he struggled to focus on what was happening. "Christy?" he asked, confused by why Margaret would mention her at a time like this. "What about Christy?" "I hate her!" she yelled, more to herself than to Neil. "I hate her!" With one quick movement, she picked up the broom she had just laid against the table and broke it in two. She screamed and hurled the pieces at Neil, who barely avoided being hit in his stupor. Without another word, she stormed upstairs and slammed Neil's bedroom door while he looked on in confusion. He shook his head after her. He would never understand that woman; one minute she's kissing him and one minute she's furious over someone who isn't even there. Too tired and too drunk to try to analyze Margaret's unexpected mood swing, he called it a night. Not wanting to invoke Margaret's wrath farther, he decided his laboratory was the safest place for him to sleep. Stumbling to the other side of the room, he stopped a minute to study the door. Even in his drunken state, panic welled in him when he saw the broken lock. Fearing Margaret had destroyed his life's research, he held his breath and pushed the door open. His eyes searched the room, but he couldn't make anything out in the dark. Reaching out, he felt along the shelf until he located the oil lamp he kept there for the long nights he spent alone in the secret room. His hands trembled as he struck the match, fearing the worst. As a dim glow filled the tiny room, his eyes slowly adjusted as details started to come into focus. To his astonishment, nothing seemed disturbed. Everything was untouched, down the the half drunk cup of coffee sitting on his desk. Realizing he had been holding his breath, he exhaled in a loud whoosh of air and shut the door behind him. Why didn't she destroy all this, he wondered. She destroyed everything else in my cabin, why leave my most precious possessions unharmed? Shaking his head in confusion and weariness, he slipped off his boots and dropped down onto his bed without bothering to even undress. What changed Margaret's mood so quickly? Why did she bring up Christy? Why.... He fell asleep before he could finish his question. - - - - - Upstairs, Margaret was pacing the room, fuming at her stupidity. Of course Neil followed Christy because he loved her. Why wouldn't he? She was kind, and loving, and good, and all the things she wasn't. How could she have let herself believe Christy was no threat? She should have known by the look on her face when she saw Neil and her together by the river. That look said everything. "Arggh!" she roared. How she hated Christy! "Enough is enough. Christy can't come waltzing in here and expect to steal my husband away from me." Margaret paced around the room as she spoke to out loud. Now and then she stopped to finger some of Neil's belongings almost lovingly. Opening some of Neil's drawers, she found some of his shirts and picked one up smelled it. Momentarily forgetting her anger, the smell of a mixture of tobacco and ether filled her nose and she smiled at the memory. Mac never lost the smell of a doctor, no matter what he did. HER doctor, she corrected, as her anger came flooding back. Putting the shirt down on the dresser, she continued to walk around the room. Few things had changed since she lived there, although it was slightly manlier. Even in his bedroom she could tell this was strictly a man's bedroom. An elk head hung above Neil's bed and his medical bag was strewn haphazardly on the chair. The only thing reminiscent of her life there was her vanity mirror sitting on his set of drawers. Bending over, she looked at herself in the tiny oval frame. She knew she was still beautiful. Accustomed to getting whatever she wanted from men her entire life, she had always put special care into her appearance. Tonight her good looks had brought her one step closer to getting back into Neil's life, she thought, as she smoothed her hair back and wet her lips. He may have been drunk, but he couldn't resist me. "Alcohol is truth serum, after all," she told her reflection. It would only be a matter of time before Neil was hers again. But she had to get Christy out of the way first. Margaret couldn't forget how Neil had said Christy's name while he was kissing her. Straightening up from in front of the mirror, Margaret walked over to the bed and sat down. What to do about Christy, she mused, and she slipped out of her willowy dress and into Neil's shirt she had laid on the dresser. Christy wouldn't be easy to get rid of, but Margaret had confidence she could find a way. She yawned as the day's events began to take their toll on her and lay down on the bed Neil had neglected to make. Tomorrow she would think of a way to get back at Christy. As she laid her head on Neil's pillow, she felt the familiar tickle in her throat. Soon deep coughs were wracking her slender frame as she quickly sat up on the edge of Neil's bed. She tried to stifle them into the handkerchief she always kept near close by for fear that Neil would hear. If he knew she was sick he would send her away for treatment and there was no way she could win him back from hundreds of miles away. The coughs eventually subsided and she saw the familiar red stain as she pulled the handkerchief away from her mouth. Pausing silently for a minute, she listened for any movement downstairs. Neil must not have heard her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her strength now almost completely gone, Margaret tossed the bloodstained handkerchief aside as she fell back onto the bed. She would be fine in the morning; she just needed to get her energy back. Closing her eyes and waiting for sleep to come, she told herself it was only a matter of time before Neil would be sleeping beside her in this very bed. Chapter 6 That night, dinner at the Mission was even noisier than usual. Christy had expected Ruby Mae to be excited about the wedding, but there didn't seem to be a moment where talk of the date or flowers or love didn't come out of the girl's mouth. "I'll help ya any way I ken, Miz Christy. Weddins are just the most blessed fun thing in the whole world! I could help decorate the Mission all fancy-fine fer ya. Then ya won't have to worry none about doin' it yerself and you ken rest your mind a bit." "And I reckon you'll be needin someone ta stand up for ya, too," she said as raced on without pausing between thoughts. "Me and Bessy, we would jest love it iffin we could be part of a weddin like we seen in your city magazines. All them girls lined up all straight next ta the bride. It jest be the prettiest sight a body ever'd laid eyes on!" Christy smiled at the red-haired girl sitting next to her. Reaching over to pat her hand, Christy said, "Now Ruby Mae, we've only been engaged a few hours. I couldn't possibly know any of the details yet. But I promise you can help me plan it, alright? After all, how could I do without you? You're one of my favorite people." The freckled face lit up with the compliment. "Well, I reckon I can wait a spell," she replied. She looked down at her plate and smiled sheepishly. Her food was barely touched. "I guess wit all my chatter I ain't eaten enough of ma dinner. Miz Alice is gonna be believin I'm ill iffin I don't eat. It ain't fit for a body not to eat what's put afore them on the table," and shoveled a forkful of potatoes in her mouth to prove her point. "We girls at school are jest tickled ta death that we got ta see the Preacher ask fer yer hand Miz Christy," she said in between bites, as if she had never been interrupted. "Right thar in the school yard! We all ain't never seed somethin like that afore! With a ring and all too! It was jest somethin ta behold." David caught Christy's eye and winked at her. She smiled at him, but she felt something else tug at the corners of her smile. What was bothering her? I must just be tired, she concluded. After all, I had a busy day. The rest of the day at school had seemed like a blur. It took nearly an hour to get all the children settled and back in their seats. They all kept coming up and reaching for her hand to look at her ring, or asking her about David and how long they had been "a-courtin." She thought she would never survive the next 3 hours! She figured the only way to regain any semblance of order was to allow the children 15 minutes to ask her questions and come up and look at the ring on the condition that they work quietly afterwards. All the heads bobbed in agreement and soon the students swarmed around her. She had to laugh at their eagerness. Most of them had never even heard of an engagement ring, let alone seen one. After nearly every anxious question had been answered, the students simmered to a low, steady murmur. Figuring everyone was content with her answers, at least for now, Christy reminded them that they still had a spelling test to take, and began to hand out the tests amongst a few groans. Seated back at her desk watching 72 little minds work, Christy couldn't help but look at her hand. The beautiful diamond ring sparkled in the afternoon sunlight that filtered through the window. It was truly stunning. She could only imagine how many months he had saved from his already meager income to buy this ring for her. He cared about her that much, she realized, and smiled at the thought. Christy glanced up from her desk to see how the students were doing. Some students were finished and had turned their papers over on their desks, waiting for everyone else to finish. Some had taken out books, and some were just glancing out the window at the beautiful autumn day/ "Class, you have another 10 minutes and then I'm going to collect the papers," she said as she walked around the room looking over shoulders. While most students seemed to have done very well, she could see a few students she would have to watch carefully. Making her way back to her desk, she sat facing the classroom. As she waited for the rest of the students her mind again wandered to the days events. How romantic for David to propose in front of everyone. All those students watching had made her a little nervous! And Neil... She had forgotten Neil was there. She had been so caught up by her excitement of her school children that she had almost forgotten Neil had witnessed the whole thing, too. Why had Neil followed her in the first place? He seemed content enough in his wife's arms, why would he follow her all the way to the school? And she still didn't know what possessed her to ride over to Neil's. She had talked to Fairlight about him, but she only got more confused. Even though Fairlight's knowing look told her that she considered Christy and Neil more than just friends, surely she was mistaken. And even if she wasn't, it didn't matter now. Neil and she couldn't be anything now that Margaret...Christy's thoughts abruptly broke off as she heard Zady call her. "Hain't it be time, Teacher?" "Reckon all of us is finished." A few girls giggled in the back. She was right. Students were sitting at their desks looking at her expectantly. "She be thinkin about Preacher," Bessy offered from the second to last row. More giggles followed. Flustered, she stood up, and started to collect the papers, keeping the grades separate as best she could. It hadn't been David she was thinking about at that moment... Tired, but excited by the day's events, Christy thanked Miss Alice and Ruby Mae for dinner, and excused herself. Getting up from the table, she smoothed her dress and started to walk upstairs when David stood up and took her arm. "Christy, I need to speak to you for a moment," he said in a serious tone, "I have something I need to tell you." Chapter 7 David took Christy's arm and led her into the parlor. Alarm streaked through her mind. She had no idea what was wrong. "David, what is it? What did you need to tell me?" Looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening, he leaned over and kissed her. "That," he said with a smile. "David!" she couldn't believe his boldness. "Miss Alice and Ruby Mae are right in the other room. And you know Ruby Mae would have the word around Cutter Gap before you could blink your eye!" "So what? We're engaged now Christy, it's all right for me to kiss you. And besides, in these mountains, don't you think they've seen a guy kiss a girl before? You're not a child. You're an adult, and you're allowed to kiss your fiance." Fiance. The word still sounded strange to her. "You're right David, I'm sorry. I'm still not used to this yet. I'm sorry." "Well, you better get used to it. I plan to make you my wife for the rest of my life!" he replied buoyantly. "But I guess you're right. I had been planning to propose to you for weeks now, you only just learned of it. You're off the hook this time," he said smiling. She smiled as she looked up at him. She was about to answer back as tiny yawn escaped her mouth. "Is my princess tired? Let's get you to bed!" and scooped her up in his arms. "David, put me down, put me DOWN!" she said as she hit his chest only half-jokingly. "I'm warning you David! You put me down this instant or....or..." "Or what?" and kissed her to silence the rest of her sentence. "All right, all right," he said as he put her back down, "I won't keep you up anymore. You have had an exciting day." "Nah, not that exciting really," she said, and scampered up the steps before he could say another word. Safe in her bedroom, Christy closed the door behind her and sat in front of her mirror, still smiling at David's playfulness. She took her hair down and began brushing the long waves that cascaded down her back. She did have so much fun with David, he was always good for a laugh, or to tease her. But that's not all he does, she corrected herself. He can be very kind and considerate too. And he's very romantic. She finished brushing her hair and then put it into a loose braid. Her reflection smiled back at her in the mirror as she thought about the day's events. Getting up from her chair, she walked over to the bed and pulled down the covers. As she slipped in under the sheets, Christy felt content. Once again she pulled her hand out from under her pillow to look at the ring on her finger. It is such a beautiful symbol of his love for me. He must really love me. But do you love him? came the question from the back of her mind. Of course I love him, she told herself quickly, we're great friends. And I've always wanted to marry someone who was my friend before he was my husband. Suddenly her mind jumped back to the conversation she had had with Fairlight earlier in the day. "Who makes you laugh? Who makes your blood boil they make you so mad?" Fairlight had asked her. "Neil MacNeill!" But...he doesn't mean anything," she had replied almost too quickly. "Who's your best friend, Christy? Who do you tell your deepest thoughts to?" Neil. She knew the answer to those questions was Neil. He had always been there for her, to listen to her every idea, to offer advice, and friendship, even if he did get under her skin on more than one occasion. Sighing, Christy turned over on her side. What had she hoped to accomplish by going over to Neil's cabin? Deep in her heart, she knew why she had ridden over there, and why she had left without saying a word, but she couldn't bring herself to admit it yet. I guess the reason doesn't matter now. Margaret is back, and doesn't look like she's going to leave again any time soon. And besides, Margaret and Neil are married. They're married. The thought seemed to weigh heavily on her as her eyelids began to close. Christy wearily tried to brush off the feeling of uneasiness that had crept over her. Neil wasn't hers after all, he was Margaret's. He had always been hers, even when she wasn't there; Margaret would always legally be his wife. And soon I'll be David's, she thought through a thick veil of sleep. Mrs. Grantland. She liked the sound of that. Yes, she knew she had made the right choice. Chapter 8 Christy awoke the next morning to a glorious fall morning. The leaves had not yet turned their full bright colors, but the air was beginning to take on the crisp feel of autumn. Her thoughts of Neil the previous night had left her unsettled, and she decided to ride over to pay him a visit. She had too many unanswered questions in her mind for her to wait for him to visit the Mission. Sliding out of bed, Christy glanced at the clock on her nightstand. It was only 7:30 and yet she was wide-awake. She decided to slip out early and head over to Neil's cabin before anyone else woke up. She didn't feel like having to explain her motivations or dealing with David's gaze if he found out. Splashing some water on her face, Christy was excited to start a new day. Putting on her favorite white and blue checkered dress, Christy piled her hair up on top of her head. She didn't know why, but she felt like putting special care into her appearance today. Perhaps it was because this was the first day she was waking up as an engaged woman! Or perhaps because it was beautiful outside and she wanted to give nature a little competition. She chuckled to herself at the thought. Although people had always told her that she was beautiful, she had never thought of herself in such a way. She was simply happy with the person she was on the inside, and figured the outside didn't matter much. After grabbing an apple and a muffin from the kitchen and leaving a note telling everyone where she would be, Christy slipped out the door and into the beautiful morning air. As she headed over to the barn to saddle Buttons, she decided instead to walk to the Doctor's cabin. It was a glorious day, and besides, the walk might help her clear her head a little. The previous night's tumultuous thoughts had still left a trace of uneasiness in her heart. Setting out at a leisurely pace and munching on the apple, Christy wrestled with the questions in her mind. She was happy that she had chosen to marry David, she knew he would be a wonderful husband. But was he the husband for her? She didn't know. As she wound her way through the woods, she considered what to say to Neil when she showed up at his door. Something in the back of her mind kept telling her that she wouldn't be truly happy with her engagement to David until she sorted out what her feelings were for Neil. And Fairlight's knowing look kept resurfacing in her mind. The more Christy convinced herself there was only friendship between them, the more uncertain she became. Well, she decided, I can't figure anything more out until I talk to him. All I'm doing is confusing myself more! She picked her way along the riverbed and noticed Neil's cabin coming into sight. As she ascended his steps, something like nerves began to churn in her stomach. She was about to knock on the door when it swung open. "I thought you might come by today," Margaret said with an edge in her voice as she leaned against the door with one hand. She flashed a phony smile and asked her to come in. "Mac's in there," motioning towards his laboratory. "He hasn't said a word to me all morning, you're welcome to try your hand at him." Christy thanked Margaret, took a step towards the door, and then stopped. "How are you doing, Margaret?" she asked as she turned around to face her. "I haven't talked to you since the teahouse." "I'm just fine," she spit out sharply. "And you can save the formalities." "I was just concerned about you. I was worried you would leave this time and not return." "Don't you worry your pretty little head about me. I can take care of myself." "I didn't mean to imply..." "Save it," Margaret cut her off. She was about to say something else when Christy's ring caught her eye. "So, I see you took my advice as well," Margaret observed smugly, gesturing towards the ring. Christy hid her hand behind her back and blushed. "Yes, David asked me to marry him yesterday and I accepted." "Congratulations I guess," Margaret tossed back over her shoulder as she headed into the kitchen, leaving Christy standing alone. Why had she hidden her hand? Shaking her head and adding questions to the list of ones she already couldn't answer, Christy crossed the rest of the way across the room and knocked lightly on Neil's laboratory door. "Neil? I...I wanted to speak with you. Everything was so crazy yesterday we didn't get a chance to talk to each other." Inside the room, Neil had been listening to Margaret and Christy talk. As much as he had hoped she would come by today, he now seemed at a loss for words. He didn't really want to see her, he didn't want to see the ring on her finger. The image of her putting David's ring on her finger just kept playing over and over in his mind. And he had wanted to be mad at her for it. But as her heard Christy's voice outside his door, only compassion welled inside him. The tone of her voice was so uncertain, and he knew he could never be mad at her. What had she done wrong after all? Nothing. Nothing except turn to someone who could give her the love she deserved. Not sure what to do, Neil braced himself and stood up. The night of drinking still hadn't completely left him yet, and he had awoken with a hangover. All morning Margaret had knocked on the door and shouted at him to come out of the room, but he had ignored her. He hated her. He hated her for coming back into his life and ruining any chance he had for happiness. Knowing he couldn't avoid Christy like he did Margaret, Neil picked his way across the room through bottles and slides and opened the door. Chapter 9 Christy looked up at him as he opened the door and couldn't believe her eyes. The man who had always been so strong and so stubborn now looked broken. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face looked haggard. "Don't look so surprised Christy. Doctors are human too." Surprised at his ability to read her thoughts, she smiled slightly and shook her head. "I never doubted that you weren't human, Doctor, I just doubted that I would ever get to see that side of you." "What about when I showed up at the Mission after receiving that telegram from you know who? You certainly saw my humanity then too." "True. But I didn't come here to talk about that. I wanted...I needed your help." She lowered her head. Concern for her flashed across his eyes as he looked at the tiny figure before him. "What's wrong? Are you all right?" "Oh, yes, I'm fine. For the most part. I just wanted to ask you about yesterday," she said in a quieter voice. "Can we go outside to talk? I don't want to upset Margaret." "Of course, let me put on my boots. Why don't we go for a walk?" "That sounds fine." She turned around and walked back through the rest of the house, expecting to be confronted by an angry Margaret, but no one appeared. Once outside, she breathed in the refreshing autumn air, thankful to have avoided another angry exchange. "Where do you want to go?" Neil asked, joining her out on the porch. "I thought we would just walk, it doesn't really matter where." They started off towards the river, neither saying a word. "By the way, congratulations on your engagement to David," Neil said, finally breaking the silence. "I'm sure you two will be very happy together." "Oh, thank you" Christy relied, half-convincingly. "So what did you need to talk to me about?" "I wanted to know why you followed me to the school yesterday." "You left my cabin without saying a word. I was worried that something had happened, so I chased after you. But I guess you didn't need me for anything important. Did you just want an audience?" Stunned by his harsh words, Christy stopped walking. "That's not fair Neil. I had no way of knowing David would propose to me!" Stop it, he chided himself. You can't take out on Christy your frustration about Margaret. And you can't blame her for wanting to marry someone else. "I'm sorry Lass. You're right. I didn't mean to upset you. I've just had a rough 24 hours is all. I know that isn't an excuse. I'm sorry." "It's all right Neil. I know it must be hard for you to have Margaret back in your life. I'm sorry to see you're so miserable. I feel this is partly my fault." "How could it possibly be your fault? You couldn't have known she would show up here." "Well, I talked to her back at the teahouse, and I might have suggested that she come back here." "Why would you do such a crazy thing?" Neil asked incredulously. "Well, I told her that she should stop running because one day she would wake up old and alone. And I said that you..." her voice trailed off. "That I what, Christy?" "That you were worth fighting for," she whispered finally realizing the full weight behind her statements. "You said that, Christy? Why would you tell her that?" "Because you are, Neil. You're a wonderful Doctor, and a wonderful man. And...and you're her husband. Above everything else, you're her husband. That's a connection no one else can have with you. I just didn't want her to run off again and leave you tied to someone who wasn't there. You're my best friend, I didn't want to see you hurt." Neil walked over and sat down on a large rock by the river's edge, taking in her words. "That's why I couldn't stand to see you tortured by Margaret's ghost," she continued as she sat down on the rock next to him. "I figured, if she were back in your life, maybe you two could work things out." "No, Christy, Margaret and I will never be husband and wife again. We may still be legally married, but she is no longer my wife." Christy wanted to ask why they had been in such a compromising position down by the river, then, but she held her tongue. They sat in silence, both of them staring at the river, neither one willing to ask the questions they both wanted answers to. "Why did you ride away from the school so fast, Neil?" "Why did you come to my cabin?" they asked each other at the same time. Both laughed awkwardly and Christy shrugged. "I came over here to tell you that you were my best friend. I hadn't really realized how much you meant to me until I talked to Fairlight earlier in the day yesterday. But, I just wanted to share that with you. I guess I wanted you to know how much our friendship meant to me. Now you." "I figured you would want a moment with your fiance that you didn't need interrupted by another man. Why did you leave without saying anything to me?" "I didn't feel it was my place to interrupt either. You seemed happy enough in Margaret's arms, I didn't think I belonged there." "What you saw yesterday, Christy, was Margaret trying to work her way back into my life. She was pulling out all her old tricks: guilt, seduction, sympathy, but they just don't work on me anymore. And the sad thing is, I think she really meant some of the things she was saying to me. I think she finally realized she's not immortal and that her actions have consequences. She can't run forever, so, she decided to come back to the one thing she knew she had: her marriage. Well, that's if you can call what we have a marriage anyway." "Oh, Neil, I'm so sorry. I never meant to bring this suffering on you. I was only trying to help. Is there anything I could do to maybe help the situation?" "No, Christy, but thank you." he said, as he leaned over and patted her hand as he turned his head to look at her. "You're my best friend, too, ya know." Christy could feel his eyes on her. She turned to face him and for the first time, saw something flicker behind his eyes that she had not seen before. Flustered, she stood up quickly. "Neil, this isn't right, we should be getting back," she stammered out, and frantically brushed the leaves off her dress. "We've been out too long, and it isn't right for us to be sitting alone like this." "Wait, Christy, wait. Everything's all right. We were just talking," he said, grabbing her hand to calm her down. "Do I need to remind you what happened last time we were by the river "just talking"?? I just don't want anyone to get the wrong idea again. I don't want people thinking we're anything more than friends, because we're not. And besides, your wife is waiting for you back in your cabin, and my fiance's waiting for me back at the mission. I should have been back by now." "All right, Lass, if that's what you want. Can I offer you a ride back?" "No, I'm fine. Thank you. It's a beautiful day, I don't mind the walk." "Goodbye, then, Christy," he said, trying to mask the sadness in his voice. "Goodbye!" she shouted, as she hurried away. Neil stood there a little while longer looking at the river. This conversation still left so many questions in his mind. He didn't know what to think. All he knew for certain was that she was more important than anyone else in his life. After tossing a handful of leaves into the river and watching them drift away, he sighed and started for home. He didn't see the figure emerge from behind a tree and watch him depart. Chapter 10 Running quickly through the woods, Margaret knew she had to make it back to the cabin before Neil arrived home. She couldn't let him know that she had been listening to his conversation. Bounding up the steps and into the house, Margaret shut the door behind her and sat down in by the fireplace. Neil must really love Christy, she thought, as she tried to catch her breath. And what's more, Christy didn't seem to know about his feelings. How ironic that the woman who had urged her to come back here was the same woman who had inadvertently stolen her husband's heart, she seethed sarcastically. It figures! Nothing in her life had ever worked out the way she wanted it to, why should this be any different? Margaret stood up and began to pace the room but froze when she felt her chest prickle with an impending attack. Oh no, not now. Mac will be home soon, and he's sure to hear my cough. Sure enough, almost as soon as Neil walked in the door, Margaret crumpled over a chair coughing. Thick red blood began to appear at the corners of her mouth. Rushing to her side, Neil instantly became all-doctor. He braced her as he pulled out the chair she was leaning on and eased her into it. Supporting her back and her forehead as he let the bout run its course, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the pathetic creature in front of him. He had once loved her, and even though he no longer felt those same emotions, he remembered a time when he did. "Shh, Margaret, it's alright. It'll be over in a bit. You're almost through." His gentle words infuriated her even more. "Leave...me...alone," she yelled in between breaths, as she jumped out of the chair away from his grasp. "No, Margaret, you need me. Don't fight me on this. Just sit down and wait for the spell to pass." As much as everything in her told her to disobey him, she was too overcome by her disease to fight him and it at the same time. She sat down in the chair again and let Neil support her. She leaned into him with a mixture of hate for herself and hate for him welling inside her. As the coughs began to lessen, and she was able to sit up on her own, she looked at the man before her in disgust. "Leave me alone. I don't need to feel like one of your patients. I'm your WIFE for God's sake Neil!" "No, Margaret, you're not," Neil said as he stood up and walked into his lab, shutting the door behind him. Margaret scoffed. She couldn't believe he had actually left her alone. She expected him to at least put up a little fight for her. Who are you fooling, she asked herself. Neil doesn't love you anymore, you might as well admit it to yourself. He's never going to love you again, not as long as Christy's in his life. Christy. Christy was going to marry the Preacher. She would be out of their lives in no time. But I should make sure, Margaret thought. I should make sure that she stays away from us for good. And she knew just how to do it... She grabbed a light scarf for around her throat and went out to the barn. She saddled Neil's horse and set off for the Mission. Even if Christy hadn't made it back yet, she'd be there soon enough. Maybe I could have a nice chat with Mother until she returns, she thought sarcastically. Margaret couldn't help but smile at herself as she planned her attack in her head. Christy would be devastated, and she couldn't wait. What's more, by hurting Christy, Neil would be hurt as well! This would be perfect. Picking her way along the narrow trails, Margaret knew she had to execute this plan carefully. One wrong move and the whole thing would fall apart in her lap, and drive Christy even closer to Neil. Nearing the Mission, Margaret slowed her speed to make her entrance look nonchalant. She was tying Charlie to the porch railing when her mother appeared in the doorway. "Christy told me thee was back," Miss Alice said composedly, doing her best to hide the emotions that coursed through her. "I had hoped that thee would come see me. Won't thee come in?" "Yes, well, here I am," she answered tersely forcing a smile as she stepped inside. She was trying her best to ignore the happiness in her mother's eyes and focus on her mission at hand. If she let her mother bog her down, she would never get to Christy. But as she was about to shrug off her mother's hospitality, a glimmer of sentiment clouded her mind. This is no time for feelings, she shouted inwardly to herself, just bide your time until Christy shows up. "Mother, is Christy here? I wanted to thank her for talking me into coming back here." A look of surprise flashed across Miss Alice's face. Christy never fails to surprise me, she thought. "She was here shortly ago, but I believe she went over to visit David at the schoolhouse. He's preparing his sermon for Sunday. You might find her there." "Perfect. Thanks" was all she said and was out the door. Sure enough, she found David and Christy at the schoolhouse. She was watching him as he rehearsed his sermon for church that Sunday. Waiting outside for him to finish, Margaret listened while he preached. "'Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grace. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of one's house, it would be utterly scorned.' Song of Solomon 8:6-8:7. What do you think Christy? My whole sermon is going to be about love, but do you think I should end with that, or start with it?" Margaret rolled her eyes as she listened. She decided now would be the best time to interrupt, before she had to listen to any more of this religious nonsense. "Eh-hem," she cleared her throat loudly, announcing her presence. "Margaret, I'm sorry, we didn't see you there," Christy apologized. "It's fine. I actually wanted to talk to you for a minute, if I can pull you away from your fiance, that is," she said flashing her most sincere smile. "Oh, well, yes," Christy replied, surprised at Margaret's dramatic turn-around from that morning. "I'm sure David could spare me for a few minutes." "That's great," she said as she headed back down the school steps. Glancing back over her shoulder as she walked out of the schoolroom, Christy gave David a little shrug. She had no idea what Margaret could want with her. Chapter 11 Following Margaret down the steps of the schoolroom, Christy's mind raced with what Margaret could possibly need her for. "I just wanted to thank you, Christy." Margaret laughed at the surprised look that once again registered on the pretty teacher's face. "I just wanted to thank you for convincing me to come back here. Neil and I can finally start our lives over together." The words stabbed through Christy's heart, but she said nothing. "I wanted to ride over here and thank you personally. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have come back to Cutter Gap, and I wouldn't be living with Neil again." "Oh, you're welcome Margaret," Christy choked out. She didn't know how to react. Margaret was extending an olive branch it seemed, and yet her words were slicing through Christy. "I just wanted you to be happy, and for Neil to be happy." Good, she's warming up to me. Keep being "sincere", and she'll walk right into your trap. "It's just so nice to be home again. I never really felt like I belonged here, but maybe this time it can be different. Maybe I can finally make a home here, you know? Settle down, and raise a family with Neil." "That would be wonderful for you two," Christy agreed quietly. "But that's not why I'm here. I'm not here to tell you my plans for the future. I wanted to thank you for giving me another chance with Neil. I know how hard it must have been to tell another woman to fight for the man you love." "The man I love? What are you talking about Margaret? I don't love Neil, I love David. Neil and I are just friends. I was just saying you should fight for him because..." Christy stammered. "Come now, Christy. We're both women, you can't tell me you didn't know you were in love with my husband. I saw the way he looked at you, and the way you looked at him. He loves you just as much as you love him." "No Margaret, you must be mistaken! Neil doesn't love me, we're just good friends." Margaret smiled as innocently as she could. "Christy, you know as well as I do why you rode away from his cabin yesterday. You love him, and you couldn't stand to see him in my arms, even if you did encourage me to come back." By now Christy was blushing furiously. "Margaret...I don't know what you're talking about. David and I are engaged, I don't love Neil." Margaret saw Christy becoming more and more upset with the conversation. She saw the pain in her eyes, and she grew happier as Christy grew more miserable. Trying to hide the pleasure she was deriving from her successful plot, Margaret tried to drive her point home one more time. "Christy, you've convinced yourself that you don't love my husband, but you do. But don't worry, he loves you too. That's why I wanted to make sure you knew how thankful I was that you convinced me to come back, because I know how hard it must be to see the man you love married to someone else." With that, Margaret squeezed Christy's hand in mock friendship. "I have to be getting back. I didn't tell Neil where I was going, and I don't want him to worry." "Oh, yes, all right," Christy murmured, not really paying attention. She watched as Margaret walked back to the Mission and got on Charlie. Christy was devastated. What if everyone else saw the same thing Margaret saw? What would everyone think of her being in love with a married man? What would Miss Alice think, with Margaret being her daughter? What would David think? David! Hoping he hadn't heard any of their conversation, Christy crept back over to the school and looked in. David was sitting at her desk deep in thought about his sermon. At least he hadn't heard. He would have been crushed. Christy raced back to the Mission and up to her bedroom. Throwing herself onto the bed, she sobbed harder than she ever remembered sobbing. Just that morning she had awoken with so much to look forward to. Now she felt her chest tighten with dread. She didn't want to scandalize the Cove. In this fiercely loyal little cove she knew no one would tolerate loving a married man. Rumors would spread like wild fire and she would lose her reputation in the Cove. She would be fired from teaching, she would lose her friends...! Her mind spiraled out of control. No, you're getting carried away, she told herself in between gasps. You have to calm down. Maybe you're making too much of this. She took a deep breath and tried to sort out what to do. There was only one thing she knew could fix this situation she had gotten herself into. She couldn't see Neil again. No, that's not fair, her mind reasoned. It's not right to deprive the children of a science lesson because of something she did. I can never see Neil alone again, she corrected. But even in its diluted form, the decision still wrenched her heart out. It was scandalous for her to keep company with him anymore, even if she didn't love him. But she knew no one would believe that she didn't love him, especially after Bessie's accusations had brought out the fact that she and Neil had been together by the river in the middle of the night. They would see what they wanted to see. Yes, she knew what she had to do. With her mind made up to see Neil only in a classroom setting, Christy's sobs began to quiet down. When they finally stopped, she walked over and splashed some cool water on her face. Her eyes were puffy, and her nose was red, but at least she had made her decision. She had to stay away from Neil, for everyone's sake: for David's, for Neil's, for Margaret's, for Miss Alice's, and her own. He's my best friend, but I won't risk upsetting everyone's life. She knew she would miss Neil, but she knew her decision was for the best. After all, she could still see Neil at school, he just couldn't be a part of her life anymore. Chapter 12 Christy awoke the next morning with the resolution of the previous night still fresh in her mind. It saddened her to think that she would have to hurt one of the most important people in her life, but she knew in the long run, this was the best decision she could make. It had to be... This way, maybe Neil and Margaret could work things out, she thought. She remembered his vehement denial that anything would happen himself and his "wife" again, but maybe with her out of the way things might be different. And if I'm never alone with Neil again, David wouldn't have any reason to be jealous of him, and I'm sure that will eliminate some stress in our lives. And I'm doing this for Miss Alice and myself, too. Christy couldn't bear to think of the Quaker woman's face if she found out the woman she loved as a daughter was in love with her actual daughter's husband. She would be so disappointed in Christy! The thought horrified her. Yes, this is what I have to do. I can never be alone with Neil again. I just can't. Christy quickly dressed for Church and headed down to breakfast early so she could spend the rest of the day after service at school setting up for the final classes before the harvest break. She was planning a special surprise for the children that would take place on the last day of class. For weeks she had been working on letters to each child telling them how much she cared about them. It wasn't much, but she knew how excited they would be to receive such attention from Teacher. She had put a lot of thought even into each piece of paper, sometimes adding a dried flower or a beautiful leaf to one corner, or drawing a tiny picture below her signature, or sometimes, simply adding a colorful border to the letter. For the past week she had been working with the children on a special gift for David and Neil. For David, everyone had selected a passage from the Bible to write out and illustrate to present to him, much like the Bible given to Reverend Scott when Christy and Miss Alice went to Kentucky. For Neil, the students decided to prescribe their own "medicine" for him. On a slip of paper, they all wrote out something they would do for him the next time he visited their house. Some students volunteered to give up his or her bed if the Doctor was too tired to travel back to his cabin. Some said they'd make him a special treat while he was there, such as gingerbread or sweetened applesauce, while others volunteered to help clean his instruments. Each student had put a lot of work into their projects, and Christy couldn't wait to see them presented to David and Neil in a few days. That upcoming Friday would be the last day of school until January. They had decided to start the harvest holiday a week earlier this time, starting the second week in September instead of the third to allow the children the opportunity to have a few extra days off before the harvesting began. Even though she knew the break would only last a few months, she was sad to think that the children wouldn't be around constantly. How she loved them! She reminisced when she first came here how the difficulties and trials almost drove her away. What joy should would have missed giving up this life for her life back home. As much as she missed her family sometimes, she knew she belonged here, in this Cove. That's why I can't see Neil alone anymore, she told herself. There was nothing she wouldn't do to prevent upsetting the people she had grown to love. But what about Neil? You'll be upsetting Neil, her head reminded her. Christy sighed. She and Neil would just have to adjust to their strictly professional relationship from now on. After finishing straightening up her bedroom, Christy hurried down the stairs and paused half way down. There, at the bottom of the steps, David stood holding out his hand. "Good morning, beautiful. I thought you might wake up early this morning, so I had to get up even earlier to make you breakfast," he announced, as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. "David...oh...thank you!" she uttered, after pushing him away and untangling herself from his arms. "This is such a wonderful surprise! What a nice way to start the day, especially after the day I had yester...." She stopped suddenly, aware of what she was saying. "What happened yesterday?" "I...I just had a long day, that's all. Shouldn't you be at Church, looking over your sermon?" she asked, changing the subject. "Already did that. I told you I woke up early," David said with a wink. "Come on, eat up, I wouldn't want you to miss the sermon you helped me prepare." After a pleasant breakfast with David, they walked hand in hand over to the church. She knew the news of their engagement had spread throughout the Cove already, so she expected people to be curious today. Arriving before anyone else, Christy seated herself in one of the last rows, hoping to avoid some of the inquisitive eyes during the service. Soon, people began to file in and fill the seats to her right and left. Miss Alice came and took a seat next to her, patting her hand as she sat down. When all the benches were full, a few people decided to stand in the back, and some of the younger ones seated themselves in the corners or against the wall. It ended up being a pretty decent turnout, and Christy guessed it was because folks were worried this might be the last time they could go to Church for a while with the harvesting season coming up. As soon as most people had settled, David began. After greeting everyone, he asked everyone to sing a few hymns, and then launched into the sermon Christy had helped him write. Although some of it sounded familiar, there were parts she didn't recognize, and she knew he had added them in there specifically for her. Although she appreciated the sentiment, she thought a sermon, in front of many families of the Cove, was a very inappropriate place for his messages of love. The breakfast was thoughtful, but pulling her in the other room two nights ago to kiss her, and now his sermon broadcasting his love for her, was a little too much, a little too forward of him. She felt her face grow hot as she listened and hoped no one heard the underlying meaning in his words. It could compromise his authority as a preacher if the Cove knew he used his sermons for his own personal agenda. Look at what happened after he preached against the moonshiners, she thought. Sitting stiffly, waiting for David to finish, she knew Miss Alice caught the significance in his preaching. And she also knew Miss Alice wouldn't acknowledge that she had. Thankfully, no one else seemed to recognize David's hidden profession of love to Christy, and soon they were tapping their feet and clapping their hands to another resounding hymn. As Church was about to draw to a close, Christy became aware of a quiet murmuring. Hoping it wasn't about David's sermon, she searched the room to see what the commotion was and found fingers pointing towards the back of the room. There, leaning against the wall, was Neil MacNeill. Chapter 13 Neil? What would he be doing here, Christy wondered, as she turned back around to face David. She knew Neil didn't believe in coming to Church and didn't really believe that God had any effect on his life. "May God bless you and keep you the rest of the week. Go in peace to love each other the way God loves all of you," David pronounced, ending the service. As she stood up and slowly walked down the center aisle amidst the other families of the Cove, Christy saw the crowd lingering in the schoolyard. Maybe it was because this was the last time many of them would be together for a while, and maybe it was because Neil had shown up, she didn't know. Either way, Christy thought it best to skirt around Neil, if in fact, he was somewhere in that crowd. As curious as she was about why he came to church, the incident with Margaret was still too fresh in her memory for her to talk to Neil yet. She made her way down the Church steps and decided to walk around the perimeter to try to avoid catching his eyes. Unfortunately, Neil was looking for her, and stepped deftly out of the crowd as soon as he saw her. "Christy, there you are. I'm glad I caught you." "Neil, hello. I...ugh...I was just...going to wait for David out here." She blushed as she fumbled over the words. Looking around, at least she reassured herself that she wasn't alone with Neil. Many families were still mingling with each other in front of the school. "I'll wait with you then, if you don't mind. It's a beautiful day out, if I might say so myself. Not as cold as I would expect for September." "Yes, it should be a mild fall." The small talk trailed off, and both stood silently in the yard. Usually she didn't mind when breaks in the conversation, but this time, each second they stood there wordlessly seemed like an eternity. "I still don't feel like we cleared things up, Christy," Neil said, his thick brogue breaking her reverie. "But I guess I'll have to be satisfied for now, won't I?" "Why did you come here today Neil? Did you come for the service?" Christy asked, not answering his question. "Me? No. Actually, I only came because Margaret said you wanted to see me today. Usually I would never step foot in a church, but I thought it weird that Margaret would relay such a message, so I decided check it out for myself." Why would Margaret ever send Neil to me? That's so strange. If she thinks Neil loves me, why would she make a point to bring us together? Maybe she wanted to drive her point home. Christy shook her head, sick at the thought. "Some of what David said actually was interesting, believe it or not." Christy looked up at him incredulously, but didn't say anything. "What? There were some good quotes from the Bible in his sermon, even if I don't believe in its credibility." "Oh, but Christy, on a more serious not, I hate to tell you this, but I don't think David loves you. His sermon certainly made no mention of anything like that," he said trying to hide the teasing in his voice. "I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he never speaks to you again." When Christy didn't respond, he backed off a little, and tried a different approach. "Personally, I thought he laid it on a little thick. But I've never been one to make confessions on such a large scale like that. I've always gone for the more subtle ways of saying I love you. Like having a good honest conversation about anything and everything. Or taking a walk with them. I think it's the little things that matter, don't you think?" She so badly wanted to tell him that she thought David went too far with his sermon. She wanted to tell him that's what mattered to her too, that David made her uncomfortable with his showy attention and his overt gestures. Most of all, she wanted to tell him that David's homily made her see that she didn't love him the way he loved her. All those things he had said about love and its eternal flame and enduring sentiment...she didn't feel that way. It had hit her when she was sitting there listening to his quotes about love that she knew she didn't love him the way a wife should. Christy so desperately wanted to confide in Neil, but she didn't. She couldn't. It would be an inappropriate conversation to have with a married man, even if he was her best friend. A tiny tear appeared at the corner of her eyes as she closed them in frustration. "Neil, I..." Christy's trying to keep cool facade from crumpling. "I..." As she opened her eyes, she suddenly realized that the crowds were beginning to dissipate as people said their farewells and headed home. "...should be getting back inside. I'm sorry." she finished abruptly. Without waiting for his response, Christy forced herself to walk away from Neil. Christy hung at the back of the church, waiting for a chance to be alone with David. When she had said her last goodbye, she approached David. Part of her told her to go back to her room to think things through, and the other part told her to follow her heart right then and there. If she waited any longer, she knew it would only hurt David more in the long run. "David," she began, "that was a beautiful sermon." "Thanks! You know, I wrote a lot of that for you," he said with a wink. "Yes, I know, and that's what I have to talk to you about." Taking a deep breath, Christy let the words spill out that had been unconsciously forming in the back of her mind. "I can't marry you David, I just can't. I'm so sorry. It was wrong of me to accept. I love you so much as a friend, and I confused that for being in love with you. I thought if I loved you as a friend that would be enough to build a marriage on, but it's not David, it's not. And it never could be, and I was foolish to convince myself it was." Christy was crying , but they weren't tears for herself. They were tears for him. She knew she would be hurting him, he had to hear the words her heart had been telling her all along even if she hadn't listened. "You mean so much to me, I want you to know that. I couldn't stand it if you weren't in my life. But...but you just can't be my husband. All those things you said in your sermon, about enduring and eternal love, I knew we didn't have that. I just didn't feel that for you David. I thought maybe it would grow over time out of the friendly love I had for you, but I see now that it couldn't. I'm so sorry David, I'm so sorry..." her words faltered as she felt a weight she didn't know she was carrying being lifted off her shoulders." David stood there, taking in all Christy was saying. He was upset at her rejection, but in his own heart, he knew she spoke the truth. He had seen something in her eyes these past few days, but he could never quite put a finger on it. Now the everything became clear. But even though he understood what she was feeling, he still couldn't bring himself to let go of her. He loved her, even if she didn't love him. Crossing to her, David didn't say anything. He was afraid what might come out if he allowed himself to speak. He simply stood there watching her cry. He knew he should comfort her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. I should be the one being comforted, he thought bitterly to himself. All I did was love her, and I get this in return. He reached out his hand for his ring, silently hoping she wouldn't take it off. Her tears continued to streak down her face as she slipped it off her finger, but she knew she had made the right decision. David wasn't the man she was supposed to marry. Her heart had told her that all along, but her head never understood until today. Looking up into his eyes, she saw the hurt there, the hurt she put there, and prayed to God that one day she could do something to take it away. She stood up to hug him, to reassure him that she did still care about him, but he brushed her aside and strode out of the church without a word. Chapter 14 The next few days went by without any further excitement. David tried to avoid Christy as best he could, even though he knew he shouldn't be mad at her. He had pushed her to answer his questions, but it was only because he had felt so sure that she would say yes; that she should say yes. He sulked around the Mission house the remainder of the day Sunday after Christy broke the engagement, fully aware that if he went to his bunkhouse, he could seclude himself from everyone. Even though he told himself he did not want to talk to her, he had secretly hoped that she would see him looking so miserable and might change her mind. But she remained at the school for the rest of the day working on her final classes and he gave up his attempt at acquiring any pity from her. As Wednesday drew closer, Christy submerged herself in her schoolwork, spending most of her free time at school, away from the Mission. She was upset at her broken engagement, but the pain was lessened with the knowledge that she had done the right thing. Waiting any longer wouldn't have done either of them any good. But she still didn't want to face David yet. She wanted to give him a chance to accept her decision on his own time, without having it thrust in his face. Besides, she knew Wednesday there was no way to avoid seeing him. He would be at the schoolhouse as planned for the last day, even though so much had changed in the past week. She only hoped everything would go smoothly, not so much for her sake, but for the children's. Thankfully, the last day of school before the break went off beautifully. The students presented David with their homemade Bible and Neil with their prescriptions for him, much to the delight of both men. Christy watched Neil's face as he carefully opened the decorated box that held his present. Even though David made a bigger show of his appreciation, Neil's silence spoke just as loudly. He still wasn't used to people showing him how much they cared about him. David and Neil thanked the class and sat back down at the front of the room. Christy was about to hand out her letters to each student when she was interrupted. "Miz Christy? We'uns got a present for you too. You didn't think we's would leave ya with no present when we made one for Doc and Preacher, now do ya?" At that, everyone stood up holding pieces of paper in their hands. One by one they read a line from the poem they had written about her. Some lines made little sense because they had been trying to make it rhyme, but it was still the most beautiful poem she had ever heard. She was touched that they had put so much effort into her present. What brought a tear to her eye, though, was the fact that she knew they all had to work together to write this poem. Even though they didn't all get along, it seems they had put aside their differences to finish this project for her. Mountie, who was sitting up in the front row, saw Christy wipe her eyes. "Teacher, didn't ya like our poem? We be sorry it didn't make a heap a sense at some parts. Don't ya like it anyways?" Christy stepped from behind her desk and hugged the little girl. "Mountie, I love it," she whispered to her." Christy stood up. "Class, thank you so much for my present. It was the most thoughtful and beautiful present anyone has ever gotten me." "Even fancier then those thar dresses your momma brung you all the way from Ashville?" "Oh yes, much more beautiful than that. This came from the heart, and nothing could ever be more special than that. And now, I have something for all of you too! It seems we were thinking the same thing, and I wrote you all a letter explaining just how much you mean to me. It's not as elegant as your poem, of course, but I wanted you all to know that I'm going to miss you over the next few months. And every time you're sad, you can read the letter and remember how much I love you all!" She called the children's names out one by one. "After you get your letter, you are free to leave. Have a wonderful and safe break everyone, and I will see you in a few months!" Slowly, the room emptied as the students received their letter. Most of the students hugged Christy before they left, although some of the older boys simple got their letter, thanked her, and left. They thought themselves too old and mature to show "wimmin-feelings" like that. Soon, only Christy, Neil, and David were left in the room. Christy was straightening up her desk, packing any supplies she would need to be ready for the next term. She felt awkward being in the same room with the two men who had caused such upheaval in her life recently, and she hoped to be the first to leave and spare even further embarrassment by being alone with either of them! Unfortunately, David didn't want to be alone with them either, so he stiffly thanked Christy for the present and headed out the door before anyone else could. Christy finished packing her bag and glanced over at Neil. He was looking through his "prescriptions," shaking his head at some, laughing at others. She could tell how touched he was. But that still didn't make me any less uncomfortable, she thought, as she made a mental checklist of everything she would need to prepare for January. Even if I'm not engaged to David anymore, there are so many other people to consider. Just as she was about to put the last book in her bag, she felt Neil standing next to her. He seemed at a loss for words for once in his life. She couldn't help taking a small step away from him when she realized how close he was to her. Her conscious was yelling at her not to go back on her word. "That looks like everything, Neil. So, I think I'm done here. You ready to leave?" Neil still didn't say anything, he simply continued to stare at her desk, tracing circles on it with his finger. "Christy, I...I don't know how to say this, or how to bring it up. And I don't really understand it myself." Her mind went through the all the ways Neil could take this conversation. Surprisingly, he began again with something that had never crossed her mind. "How can you believe in God, Christy, when there's no proof? How can you rely on anything you can't understand? I find it too hard to. I'm a doctor. I'm trained to believe things I can feel with my hands, see with my eyes. But God isn't like that." He paused before continuing, struggling to find the right words. "After Grantland's speech the other day, I got to thinking. I never knew stuff like that was in the Bible. I thought it was all old men and burning bushes and far-fetched tales of snakes and plagues and stuff like that. So, I went home and I looked through my parents' belongings that I keep in a chest under my bed, and I found our family Bible. I can't even tell you how old this thing is, but I'll tell you, I was afraid to break it just by looking at it." He chuckled and looked up to see if Christy shared his amusement. She seemed too stunned to catch his humor. "Anyway, I found the quotes Grantland was going on about, and then I read through a few more sections. They're great stories, Christy, but how do you know they're not just that? How can you be sure that some men long ago didn't just write a story about God that has been passed down, like Bogg's tall tales?" Christy didn't know what to say. She never expected to be having this conversation with Neil. Who would have thought that the event that made her see that David wasn't the right man for her brought someone else a step closer to God? Chapter 15 "Oh, Neil...I'm happy that you want me to help you, but what makes you think that I can teach you anything? Weren't you the one who just a few months ago questioned me about my faith? And now you want me to teach you what little I know?" Christy tried not to sound nervous, but she was unsure of what to do. She couldn't leave now that Neil had opened up to her, but she knew she shouldn't be here, in the schoolroom, alone with him. Christy bit the end of her pen lightly the way she usually did when she was trying to figure something out. Her mind was drawing a blank. She couldn't decide how to solve one problem without compromising the other. "Neil, I don't think I should be the one to help you when I'm still learning myself. Why don't you talk to David, or Miss Alice? They'd be able to help you a lot more than I could." Her excuse sounded lame even to her. She knew he would be disappointed, but she didn't want someone walking in on them alone. Christy glanced at the door again. "What are you so nervous about, Christy? It's just me, I won't bite, ya know." "I know, Neil, I just...." Don't tell him the truth, her mind said, it'll only hurt him more. "I just don't think it's right for us to be alone right now, that's all. I just broke my engagement with David, and I don't want him to be more upset than he already is," she said in a hushed voice, as if someone outside might hear her. "When did that happen, Lass? Why didn't you tell me?" "I wanted to wait a few days, to let David adjust. I didn't think it was right to broadcast something so personal to everyone in the Cove." Christy fidgeted under Neil's questioning gaze. "I'm not everyone Christy. You said yourself that I'm your best friend. Why didn't you think you could come to me with this?" Christy was growing more and more uncomfortable. "I just couldn't Neil. Just accept that for now that I couldn't tell you, and leave it at that." "I won't accept it until you tell me why. I don't see any reason why you should keep something from your best friend, especially something this upsetting and life-altering." "I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to see you, all right?" her words came out high-pitched and angry before she could stop them. "I can't be alone with you anymore! It's not right, don't you see?" Christy grabbed her bag and fled from the schoolhouse. She was running towards the Mission when Neil caught up to her and stepped in front of her, causing her to run full force into him, and knocking them both to the ground. Even more embarrassed to be laying on top of Neil in a wide open field where anyone could see, Christy further tangled herself in Neil's arms in her hasty attempt to break loose. Neil grabbed Christy's shoulders to stop her wild flailing. "Christy stop! Wait a minute. Here." He calmly separated himself from the schoolteacher before proceeding. "Now what are you talking about? Why this sudden fear of me?" He was out of breath, and his Scottish brogue thick in his agitation. "Margaret came to see me the other day and she told me that I loved you, I just hadn't realized it yet. And what was more, she said you loved me in return! I didn't believe her, I DON'T believe her, but that's not what matters. What matters is that other people might believe it. She could tell anyone in the Cove and the news would spread like wild fire! I don't think either of us want that kind of reputation." Neil could see the pain in her eyes, and more than anything wanted to reach over and hug her, comfort her, let her know everything would be all right. But she was right. If Margaret spread the rumor, anything they did might be taken the wrong way. He couldn't allow himself the luxury of holding her in his arms. Christy stayed sitting on the ground. I can't believe I said all that to him. I should have kept that to myself. All I've done now is stir up feelings and resentment. "You're right Christy, neither of us want to be seen as something we're not," he said matter-of-factly, as he offered his hand to her. She grasped it and felt herself being lifted off the ground almost a little too forcefully. Neil's kind gesture pulled Christy not only off the ground, but into Neil's chest, nearly toppling them a second time. "Sorry, I guess I don't know my own strength," he weakly shrugged. Still flustered from her tumbling act a few moments earlier, Christy struggled to remain calm as she attempted to fix the situation. "Neil, you know how much you mean to me, and you still are my best friend. But it's different now that Margaret is back. She's your wife, Neil, Like it or not. I have no right to intrude. I thought if I was never alone with you again Margaret would be appeased and we could both keep our good standing here. I have even less of a standing here than you do, and I just didn't think the Cove could tolerate another "scandal" between us." She pursed her lips as she recalled how close she had come to losing her job before in the same situation. "I'm sorry Christy, I didn't know all this. I wouldn't have pressured you if I had known." "I know that, Neil. I do. I just didn't know what to tell you when you asked for my guidance. I was torn between wanting to help you, and fearing what such an endeavor would awaken." Suddenly her eyes flashed with an idea. "How about this. You can come to the Mission on Sundays, after Church, providing you're not away on a call. We can sit in the parlor and talk about the Bible and God and together we can work through any questions you might have. And maybe Miss Alice could join us. That way, not only will we not have to worry about being alone, but we'll have someone there who is so much more knowledgeable than I could ever be!" Her face lit up at her suggestion. Neil couldn't bring himself to tell her he wouldn't be comfortable with Alice present. He was embarrassed enough bringing up his questions to Christy, someone who he trusted more than most people, but to bring them up to Alice was something completely different. He would feel foolish and unintelligent next to her. Christy saw the hesitation. While having Alice in the room would solve both problems, she saw he didn't like the idea. She brushed aside her momentary disappointment and searched her brain for another solution, but came up with nothing. Looking helplessly at Neil, Christy hoped maybe she was gauging his reaction incorrectly. "That sounds like the perfect solution, Christy," Neil said as warmly as he could. He wasn't too delighted with her idea, but he could see how much it meant to her and he couldn't tell her no. He couldn't bear to see those big blue eyes sad because of him. And maybe it wouldn't be so bad with Alice in the room, he reasoned. Whatever quarrels he had had with her in the past, he had never known her to hold a grudge or to be judgmental. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he was imagining it would be. Christy beemed at him, and Neil couldn't help but smile down at the person in front of him. He was glad he could make her happy, even if it meant some discomfort for him. She was worth it. The only other solution was to rarely see her, and he couldn't bear that. He needed her in his life. Chapter 16 Over the next few weeks Neil and Christy had their Bible sessions in the Mission parlor on Sundays whenever Neil could spare an hour or two. Neil had been mostly a passive participant at first, letting Christy do most of the talking, only stopping her to ask a trivial question here and there. But as the weeks went by, Neil began to open up and to take control of the discussions whenever he could. He would direct her to a passage and launch into his thoughts on it almost before she could flip to that section in her Bible. One thing that she believed helped Neil feel more comfortable was that Miss Alice chose to occupy herself with other things during that time. She would sit in the room as promised, but she would often write letters or read the Bible on her own, leaving Christy and Neil free to discuss whatever came to mind without reservation. When Christy had asked her for her attendance, Alice knew she was getting only half the story, but knew Christy would share when she was ready. She also knew Neil well enough to know that her presence wasn't his idea. Therefore, she resigned herself to being a mere room fixture so as to allow them as much privacy as possible. As time went on, Alice noticed Neil didn't seem to mind she was in the room as soon as he was deep into a discussion with Christy. Christy herself was astonished at Neil's eagerness and interest. She hated to admit it, but she had all but accepted that Neil would never believe that God had anything to do with him, or would at least be too stubborn to admit it if he did. But here he was, delving into some of the most difficult and tedious sections of the Bible in sincere interest. She noticed that Neil used his family Bible, when he remembered. She could see what he meant when he said he was afraid to look at it the wrong way for fear of breaking it; it looked about two hundred years old! Christy herself was using the Bible she received a year ago for Christmas from her parents. She had made a mental note to make a trip to El Pano soon to buy Neil a new Bible so he could read the Word without worrying about ripping the pages. As the time went on, Christy found herself looking forward to the time spent with him more and more. She realized she genuinely enjoyed the time they spent together, even during some of the heated debates they found themselves engaged in. Margaret's comments had been pushed aside, and Christy told herself that Neil was nothing more than a friend. And as long as she only saw Neil in this situation, she could convince herself that's all he really was. One morning, after walking back to the mission after church, Christy was surprised to find Neil already at the Mission. "Neil! What are you doing here so early? I didn't expect you for another hour or so." Neil held out his hand for her coat and hung it on the hook by the front door for her. "Such a gentleman!" Christy smiled at the gesture. "I was out on a call at the Beck's, and thought it was foolish to go all the way back to my cabin before coming here." "Is everyone all right? Anything serious?" "No, no, Wanda Ann had a rash that turned out to be Poison Oak. I gave her something to put on it to help with the itch, although only time will get rid of that. That's a nasty thing, ever had that Christy?" She shook her head. "Quite itchy. And it can spread easily. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole family has in within the week." He rolled his eyes and smiled. "But enough of medical ailments. I was thinking we'd do something a little different today. I couldn't find my Bible today, although I didn't really have a good chance to look for before going to the Beck's. I thought I put it on my desk, but it wasn't there this morning. So, since we'll be short one Bible, and it's such a beautiful day, I thought maybe we could go for a walk instead before the weather turns too cold." "Oh, Neil, I don't know..." Christy hesitated. Something told her it wasn't right to go off alone with him, but then again, it had been over a month since Margaret had said anything to her, and nothing resulted from that. Perhaps Margaret decided to keep the information to herself. In that case, she had been on walks with Neil before, and it would be no different now. Christy thought a moment longer. She had missed him terribly, and had no idea what was going on in his life. The only topics they ever really talked about besides God were the children, and some of his house calls. Although she told herself it was for the best, she still hated that their friendship seemed almost formal now. "All right Neil." She reassured herself that one walk would be all right since Margaret obviously had no intention of telling anyone of her observation. "Let me just leave a note telling everyone where I'll be." Christy quickly scribbled something about going for a walk, but made no mention that it was with MacNeill. She didn't want Miss Alice or David to think it was something it wasn't. Grabbing her coat and a pair of gloves, Christy tried to calm her nerves. It'll be all right, you'll see. It's just a walk, and it's been so long since Margaret said what she did. I'm sure it will be all right. Christy took a deep breath, and headed out the door with Neil. She was greeting by refreshing clean, cold air that had the smell of the approaching winter weather. The trees were every imaginable shade of red, orange, yellow, and brown, providing a breathtaking contrast to the soft blues, greens, and violets of the Smoky Mountains. Neil is right, it is a gorgeous day, Christy thought as she drank in the sight before her. "Where to?" Christy pulled on her coat but put the gloves in her pocket. It wasn't quite cold enough yet for them. She looked up at Neil waiting for his answer. "It doesn't matter to me, everything out here is beautiful" Hoping his comment wasn't directed at her, Christy finished buttoning her coat and set off with no real direction. They walked for a while in silence for a while, Neil following Christy's path, neither wanting to disturb the perfection around them by talking yet. "I've missed you Neil," Christy said finally, after a long period of silence. "I know our friendship has suffered a lot since Margaret said what she did. I'm sorry. I just didn't see any other way around it." She lowered her eyes. She still felt uncomfortable talking to him about this, but she knew she had to. "I know, Christy, you don't need to explain it to me. I've done a lot of thinking about it in the past few weeks, and I would have come to the same decision you came to. Don't worry. Really." Christy was so happy to hear those words. She regretted that she couldn't be as close to Neil as she was before, but she knew she had made the right decision. And now she knew he felt the same way. Relief washed over her, and she couldn't help but smile to herself as they continued on their walk. Chapter 17 "So, how is everything with Margaret?" Christy turned her head to look at him. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to know, but she very little of how his life had been the past month. They had talked so little that she honestly couldn't venture a guess of his life with Margaret. Margaret had seemed to think she and Neil would pick up where they had left off, but Christy wasn't so sure. "To be honest, I don't see her that much. I keep to myself in my laboratory or on calls most of the time. I've seen Margaret maybe a total of three hours in this entire month. I guess I never really thought about how much I don't see her." He laughed, his deep voice sounding larger than life in the quiet forest. "I made a vow to her all those years ago. Even though I'm not her husband, I'm still bound to her." He didn't even try to disguise the disgust in his voice. "But I couldn't live with myself if I kicked her out. You should hear her these days, Christy. She has coughing fits two, three times a day. And after she came back I really didn't have the heart to make her leave with her the way she is. Since I can avoid her well enough, I figured there was no reason to make her die alone. At least this way, if she really needs me, I can be there for her, even if I don't care for her anymore." "I'm very proud of you Neil, for doing that. I know that has to take a lot of dedication to live in the same house with someone you don't have feelings for anymore." "Do I detect a subtle reference to your own situation, Miss Huddleston?" Christy smirked. "Well, I don't live in the same HOUSE with David, but it does seem like he's around the Mission more than he ever was. We're civil to each other, but I can't help still feeling awkward. I long for the day we can put that all behind us and be friends again. I know I hurt him very badly, but I knew he deserved someone who loved him unconditionally. I just realized that wasn't me. And it never could be." "Yes, well, at least you realized the person David was before you married him. I say you were the lucky one. As for me, well, who knows why God has brought me here, but there must be a reason." "I'm sure there is. We just don't know it yet." Christy smiled as she looked up at him, proud of the man that stood before her. He was taking care of a woman who had broken his heart on more than one occasion, and he was doing it without blaming her. Christy marveled at the transformation in Neil. In just a little over a month he had transformed into a new person. She couldn't believe the difference. It would still take more time for him to truly grasp all he was reading, but she could see the seed of his faith had already begun to grow into something more. "I actually feel sorry for her. She's never really known where she belonged...she's never really found anywhere she could feel complete. It's gotta be tough." He continued on. "I don't think I could have looked at myself in the mirror if I didn't let her stay. It's my duty to her, even if I don't feel like I'm her husband anymore. I made that promise in front of God long ago, but didn't think I really meant it until recently. 'Til death do us part, Christy, ya know?" He paused, suddenly saddened by his thoughts. "But I don't think death is that far off for her. Her coughing is so bad anymore, it's probably only a matter of weeks now. Maybe not even that long. It'll be good that she won't have to suffer anymore, but it's such a shame that she wasted her life the way she did. All she's done is cause trouble wherever she could. It's sad, really." Momentary sympathy flickered inside him for the woman he once loved. What a hard life she must have lived. Christy could see the emotion in Neil's eyes. She hesitatingly patted his arm. "But now she has you, Neil, even if it's not in the way she would like. She has her mother close by, she has a stable roof over her head, and she doesn't have to run anymore. You've given her more than she's had in a long time." Neil turned to look at Christy, realizing her hand still rested on his arm. Not wishing to dwell any longer on such a sad subject, he patted her hand and picked up his pace slightly, hoping his quicker step would lighten the mood. When he saw the river up in front of them, he was surprised. He hadn't realized they had walked so far. "You must be amazing company, Miss Huddleston. Look where we are." He gestured up ahead. "Maybe you were captivated by my womanly charm!" She batted her eyelashes playfully. As they approached the stream, Christy walked up to the edge and stopped. Bending down to dip her hand in, she gave a little gasp. "It's colder than I expected it to be! Come feel this, Neil." She dried her hand on her skirt as he came to crouch down next to her. "It's not horrible. I've felt worse for this time of year." He waved his hand around in the water sending ripples cascading out in all directions, catching the sun as they went. "I just thought it would be warmer since the weather hasn't been that cold." "Well, it probably should, but there's been a lot of cold rain in the cities up north of us. It probably washed in from there." "I had wanted to wade in, but forget it!" "Aww, you're not scared of a little cold water, are you?" He sent a little splash her way, wetting her blouse and skirt slightly. "Neil MacNeill!! How dare you! I, sir, am a lady!" She feigned offense, putting her hand on her forehead. "Oh, forgive me, madam! I must have lost my head!" "That is quite all right, sir," she said in her most proper speech. She waited until Neil looked back out at the river before sending a splash back his way. "What the...? I thought you were a lady." He laughed as he wiped the water from his shirt. "Turn about is fair play, is it not? And besides, you looked a little hot, I thought I would do you a favor and cool you off a little." She bit her lip in excitement, knowing she was in for it now. She stood up and backed away from the river before he could wet her again. "Well, thank you miss! Please forgive me, I don't know where my manners are. I should not leave a favor unreturned! You look warm, too, my lady. What kind of gentleman would I be if I left you in need?" He flashed a quick smile at her before lunging at her. "Neil, no!" She tried to run back through the woods, but to no avail. He stepped in front of her and grabbed her and carried her to the water's edge. "Neil, no, Neil! Neil!!" She was laughing so hard she couldn't catch her breath. She knew the water would only be up to her knees here, but she still didn't feel like getting wet in that freezing water! Christy felt helpless with one arm pinned to her side. She shrieked as she felt Neil lower her slightly. Fearing the water was only inches from her feet, she wrapped her free arm around Neil's neck to keep her from taking the plunge, and wrapped her ankles around Neil's legs to try to stay dry. Neil lowered her the rest of the way onto the ground and laughed as he saw her expression when she hit the ground instead of the water. He didn't know whether she was going to laugh or hit him. Still holding her around the waist, he said, "Did you really think I could be so mean as to put you in that water?" "Neil MacNeill, you are a scoundral!" She yelled with mock anger. It had been a long time since she had laughed that hard, and it felt good. Out of breath from their antics, she became aware of his arms still around her, his face only inches from her own. A current surged through her and she dared not breathe as he leaned towards her. Chapter 18 Neil paused inches from her face. The smell of roses in her hair was intoxicating, and her beautiful blue eyes had him captivated. He had been stupid to lie to himself. She held his heart and his soul and he loved her. He brought his hand up to cup her face. Using all the willpower he had, he turned his head and kissed her left temple. "Christy," he whispered in her ear. She could hear his voice tremble, and she could feel the emotion that surged between them. She closed her eyes and hugged him and knew there was something he wanted to say, but couldn't seem to find the words to say it. They stood like that for what seemed like forever. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his head from against hers and broke the embrace. Letting her go was one of the hardest things Neil had ever done, but he knew needed to break the spell. He loved her with all of his heart, he knew that now, but he was still a married man. He could never respect himself if he kissed someone else, and he knew Christy couldn't either. "Christy, I can't do this. I...I can't lie to myself any longer." He looked at her with an unwavering stare. "I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. But it's doesn't matter. Even though I hate Margaret for leaving me thinking she was dead, it doesn't matter now. She's back in my life and she's still my wife." Christy nodded her head slightly, too unsure of her voice to speak. "But I don't love her, Christy! I love you. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone else. Margaret left me a broken and bitter man, and you walk into my life and change everything. You've changed me in more ways than I could ever begin to thank you for. I was a whole person before I met you Christy, I was, but I didn't realize I was only half of something, too. You're my other half, can't you see that? I'm a whole person without you, but I'm not a complete one. I need you in my life, Christy. I never feel more alive than when I'm with you. I lived all these years without you in my life, but I can't live the rest of my life without you now that I've met you." Christy's mind spun as she tried to grasp everything Neil had just said to her. He loved her. He truly loved her. And he loved HER, not some romantic notion of her. How could she not have seen it? She opened her eyes to see him searching her face for an answer, for a glimmer of hope. But she just stood their, struggling to make sense of everything. "Say something, Christy, please. I've never known you not to speak your mind, and this silence is unsettling." He smiled at her, hoping to see it mirrored on her face. She could only stare up at him with confused eyes. Neil knew he was being unfair to her. "I guess that's not really something I should be asking of you. I'm the one who laid this all on you, and it's only fair that I give you time to think about it. I couldn't expect you to know how you felt about me. I just figured it out myself." He smiled at her and took a small step back from her. "We probably should be getting back to the Mission, don't you think? Everyone will be worried if you're gone too long. And we don't want David sending out a search party now do we?" He nudged her arm with his elbow teasingly. When her only response was a small shrug, Neil decided maybe joking around wasn't the best approach at a time like this. "Come on, Christy, let's get you home." They walked in silence for much of the trip back. This time, however, the silence wasn't as peaceful as it had been. In the air were the heavy words and thoughts that had passed between them. Each knew the other was thinking about it, but neither admitted it. Christy was doing all she could to try to sort out her feelings for this mysterious man beside her. She knew he was still a married man, so knew she shouldn't have feelings for him. Her mind was telling her that it was inappropriate for her to have any type of romantic feelings for him, but her heart was telling her that you can't help who you love. Christy saw the Mission house up ahead and sighed with relief. It's not that she didn't love spending time with Neil, but right now, she just needed time to digest everything that had happened today. Neil, on the other hand, wished the Mission were still a million miles away. He didn't know how Christy would react to what he had told her today. For all he knew, he might never be alone with her again if she didn't return his feelings. And even if she did, she might decide that was even more reason to stay away from him. But now he had her all to himself. Even though they weren't talking to each other, knowing that she was right beside him was enough for him. As they walked up to where Neil had tethered his horse, Christy could see the conflict in his eyes. "Don't worry, Neil. Everything happens for a reason. You'll see." "I hope so. But I guess I should get going. I have a lot of catching up to do on my files and my research. Thanks for the walk though, Christy. I had a good night. A better night than I've had in a long time." He had a far-off look in his eyes. "I had forgotten how much I missed you. And no matter what you decide, Christy, know that I love you and that you will always have my heart. If you're never certain of anything else ever in your life, know that I love you. Well, goodnight." He mounted Charlie and rode off, leaving the sound of his departure ringing in Christy's ears. "I love you too, Neil," she whispered after him, knowing that was something she could never tell him. She turned and went silently into the Mission house. Chapter 19 As Neil rode slowly back to his cabin, his mind raced with the events of the day. He had never really meant to tell Christy how he felt, but somehow he couldn't stop himself. He wanted her to know how he felt, he did, but he hadn't wanted to tell her in that way. The sight of Neil's cabin brought him back to the present. He dismounted and let Charlie over to the barn. Shoveling some hay into his Charlie's stall, Neil patted the horse on the neck appreciatively. "Here we go again, boy." He made his way around to his front door and walked in. Margaret was sitting on the chair in front of the fireplace, and was startled by Neil's sudden appearance. She hastily shoved whatever was in her hands under her, and grabbed the hairbrush nearby. She proceeded to brush her hair as nonchalantly as she could until Neil left the room. Neil had seen her frenzied attempt to hide whatever it was she had in her hands, but he didn't feel much like playing detective. If she wanted to keep things from him, that was her business. He certainly kept enough from her. He walked into his laboratory and shut the door. The bright afternoon sunlight was streaming through the tiny cracks where the sheet he put up had failed to cover his window. It's not that he minded the light, it's that he didn't want noisy neighbors and children peering into his most prized possession. Neil was very protective of the work in that room, and wanted nothing to disturb it. Sitting down at his desk, he took out some of his slides and began to analyze them. On the other side of the door, Margaret had paused in her "hair brushing" to make sure Neil was in his laboratory for good. When she heard the sounds of his papers rustling, she knew she could drop her act. She quietly took the Bible out she had been reading when Neil walked in. She had seen it in his hands the past few Sundays when he left the house, so she decided to see what he was so interested in all of a sudden. She had never known him to believe in God really, so why he all of a sudden toted a Bible with him was beyond her comprehension. Margaret had made her way into Neil's laboratory the day before when Neil had been out on one of his calls. After all these years, he still kept the key in the same place, she had no trouble getting into the room. And Neil had made it easy for her; he left the Bible sitting right in the middle of his desk. She had snatched it up and tucked it away in "her" room until the next day. She began leafing through it again now that the coast was clear. Neil would keep himself in his lab for another few hours, so Margaret felt no need to move from her position. Neil had left tiny pieces of paper in different books. Some had questions on them; some simply had arrows to memorable quotes. He must really be into this, Margaret thought. Part of her wanted to scoff that he was growing soft, but part of her was envious that he was beginning to understand what had made her mother and Christy so happy. The snippet of David's sermon she heard before she set her plan in motion with Christy came into her memory. Song of...? She couldn't remember. Flipping through the Bible, she came to the Song of Solomon. As she read through the verses searching for the one she had overheard, she was surprised by the content. This wasn't what she remembered learning about. All she knew was hellfire and damnation, and here were these passages about love and eroticism. She was fascinated and before she realized it, she had finished the entire book. The Song of Solomon wasn't the smutty romance novel she had expected, but was instead a testimonial to how perfect the love of a husband and wife can be. Margaret sadly realized she never had that with Neil, and honestly never would. They didn't love each other like that. There's had been a marriage of escape and fantasy. It wasn't based on true love. Sighing, Margaret wished that she had lived her life differently. Her whole life had been one nasty demand after another. Nothing was ever good enough for her. And now here she was at death's door, and she had done nothing worthwhile. For the first time in her life, she wished she had her mother's faith. Or Christy's kindness. Something. But she had nothing to show for her life. If she died tomorrow, she would be forgotten within the week. The thought was sobering. Nothing would be left of her except a headstone. She had never made much of an impact on anybody, so how could she expect anyone to mourn her passing? Tears began flow down her cheeks. Reaching up with one hand to brush them away, she had almost forgotten what it felt like to be truly sad. She knew she had pushed away anyone who had ever cared for her in her lifetime, so it should be no surprise that he death would pass without much ceremony. But the tears continued to stream down Margaret's face. This was the first time she had cried in what seemed like forever. It was frightening and wonderful at the same time. She had shut herself off from the world so much in the past few years, that it was scary to be this vulnerable. But it was remarkable to be able to feel human again. She no longer was the spoiled little girl who was used to getting her way. She finally saw herself for the broken and beaten woman who had only a trail of misery behind her to show for her life. Margaret stood up quietly, wiped her eyes, and tiptoed upstairs. It was near dinnertime, but she wasn't hungry. She was overcome with the desire to talk to her mother, to explain everything, but she knew she wasn't strong enough to say anything face to face. Opening her chest of belongings, Margaret drew out a piece of lavender stationary that a "customer" had given her back in El Pano. It was one of the few nice things she owned, so she treasured every piece. She sat down at Neil's desk and began to write her mother. There was so much she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to put it on paper. Finally, she wrote out a simple but meaningful letter, knowing her heart had been in her words. She read over the letter one more time before folding the piece of paper. --- I'm sorry for everything I've said. And for anything I forgot to say, too. When things get so complicated, I stumble, at best, muddle through. I wish that our lives could be simple. I just want to mean something to you I wish I could tell you this face to face. But there's never the time never the place. So this letter will have to do. I'm sorry Mother. I love you.* -Margaret- --- She would have to ask Neil to give it to her. She couldn't give it to her herself. Not yet. Glancing out the window, Margaret saw the sun setting on the horizon. Realizing writing the letter had taken more out of her than she realized, Margaret lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. She wished she could do something meaningful with her life, but she knew it was useless with so little time left. She could never save lives like Neil, or inspire people like her mother did. There was nothing she could do now that would make a difference in anyone's life. Margaret began to cry again, and buried her face in the pillow to muffle her sobs as she cried herself to sleep. *Lyrics roughly from "Ramades's Letter" - Aida Chapter 20 Neil woke up the next morning with a stiff neck. He had fallen asleep with his head on his desk, and his neck twisted in a funny way. Lifting his head, he rubbed his neck with one hand and stretched with the other. A piece of paper next to his door caught his attention. Walking over, he noticed a folded piece of paper with Alice's name on it. Lying next to it was a smaller torn piece of paper with Margaret's writing on it. "Mac, give this to my mother" was all it said. Even though he was tempted to read what the letter contained, his conscious got the better of him and he tossed the letter onto his desk. Well, at least this would give him a reason to see Christy. He could ride over to the Mission to give Alice the letter and see the woman he loved in the process. Two birds with one stone, he mused. Grabbing the letter and a few supplies for his saddlebags, Neil headed out of his laboratory. As he was ready to walk out the door, he noticed Margaret sitting with her legs propped up on the kitchen table. How unladylike. Although, then again, she had never been much of a lady. He shook his head at her. Would she ever learn? He was about to head out the door when she called him "Mac, wait, I need my letter back. I don't want you to give it to my mother, I want to." "Oh, wipe that stupid look off your face. Give me it." She grabbed the letter out of his hand and headed out the door. Neil looked after her with a disappointment on his face. There was no real reason for him to see ride to see Christy now. Although he could easily come up with an excuse to go visit her... he stepped down one step and stopped. No, he decided. He didn't want to be in the middle of anything that would happen between Margaret and Alice. I can wait a day. "Margaret!" he called after her. She had been 50 feet away, but turned around when she heard him call her. He led Charlie up to where she was standing. "Here, take Charlie. You shouldn't be walking all the way to the Mission, especially not in this weather." "Always the doctor, huh Mac?" She grabbed the reins from his hand and mounted Charlie. She softened her tone when she heard how harsh her words came out. "I appreciate the consideration. Thanks." Although Neil was surprised at the change in her voice, he kept his surprise to himself. That's all she would need was to think he was mocking her, and he would never see that nice side of her again. He nodded his head at her and turned to go back inside. It was easier riding than it would have been walking, and Margaret made it to the Mission before she was really ready. She had been mentally going over what she was going to say, but everything seemed to rehearsed or phony. As she rode up to the Mission, she decided to just say whatever came to her mind. She always had been good at thinking on her feet. She knocked on the door, and waited for an answer. For some reason, she had discounted the chance that Christy would open the door. And Margaret was the last person Christy expected to see standing on the other side of the door. "Margaret, hello." She composed herself and invited her in. Margaret stood in the doorway, taking in the surroundings. "Is my mother here? I need to give her something." "No, she's not here, but is there anything I could help you with?" "When will she be back?" "Probably not for a few days. She rode over to Big Lick Springs, but I'm not sure for what." Margaret hesitated before deciding to give Christy the letter to give to her. She didn't know when her mother would be back, and she really didn't want to return to the Mission on another day and her mother still not be there. "Here." She thrust her letter into Christy's hands. "Give it to my mother for me. And don't read it." With that, she turned and left. Christy put the letter down on the table and went back to sweeping. Surly as ever, she thought. She glanced out the window and saw Margaret mounting her horse. Christy remembered the conversation she had had with Margaret all those weeks ago. Margaret had been right after all... Suddenly she wanted to talk to Margaret. Dropping her broom and grabbing her coat, Christy sprinted out the door. "Margaret, wait up!" but Margaret was already too far ahead of her to hear her over the hoof beats. Running to the barn, Christy grabbed Prince and dashed after her. Margaret was kicking herself. Sure, you tell yourself you're not going to act like a spoiled child anymore, and what do you do? You can't even say two words to Christy without jumping down the poor girl's throat. She became aware of galloping behind her. She pulled Charlie to a stop and glanced over her shoulder. Christy caught up with her, and paused a minute to catch her breath. "Margaret, I needed to talk to you about something. But, I don't want to do it here, could we maybe ride a little farther?" "Why would I want to be seen with the likes of you?" She turned her head away from Christy in a defiant and childish way. "I can understand how you might feel that way. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Please?" Intrigued by Christy's meaning, and begrudgingly knowing she should hear her out, Margaret nodded her head. "Fine. Let's go." Margaret and Christy set off away from the Mission. Christy didn't want David to hear what she was about to say to Margaret, so she decided it was best to save their conversation until they could be really alone. They rode in silence, but Christy didn't mind. Since the trail was too narrow for them to ride side by side, the conversation would have been difficult anyway. Eventually, Margaret came to a stop at the clearing by the river that Christy and Neil had stopped at only yesterday. When they finally dismounted and tied their horses to two trees by the shore, Christy realized the irony of the having this conversation here. "Margaret," she started, "I feel I owe you an explanation. Well, not even an explanation really, more like, an apology?" Stop stalling, she scolded herself. Just tell her. Margaret rolled her eyes at the teacher. I must be in for a real treat if she's at a loss for words already. "Well, Missy? What was so important that you had to drag me out here for? Huh?" Christy bit her lower lip. Taking a deep breath, she turned towards Margaret. "Margaret..." she whispered, "I need to tell you something. You were right. I do love your husband." Chapter 21 Margaret narrowed her eyes menacingly at Christy as she heard her words. How dare she admit to having feelings for my husband!! She stood up to leave. Christy grabbed her hand. "No Margaret, it's not what you think. Please, hear me out." Using every ounce of willpower she had, Margaret sat back down, but still continued to glare at the teacher. "Margaret, I do love Neil. I...I just couldn't admit it to myself before. And I probably shouldn't even be admitting this to you now. But, I wanted you to know that I'm going to leave Cutter Gap. At least, for a while. The new school semester doesn't begin for another month or two, so, I can stay in Ashville...and leave you and Neil alone." Christy looked down at her hands and pursed her lips. "I'm sorry Margaret. I never meant to feel this way about him. And I probably never would if you hadn't brought up the subject. I probably would have never realized it. Not that I'm blaming you!" she hastily added. "It's just...he's married to you. I would never want to come between you two, no matter how much he means to me." A tear formed in the corner of her eye and she brushed it away. She didn't want Margaret to see she was crying. She would have enough to hold over her without adding crying to the list. "I want you two to be happy together. So, I think that maybe by going to Ashville, I can give you two the time alone you need. You won't have to worry about me anymore. I just want him to be happy, and if that means me getting out of the way for a while so that you two can stop hating each other, then that's what I'll do." Smirking to herself, Margaret saw how much this was killing Christy to say. Ha, she must really love him if she's willing to leave him all to me. Her smirk faded. Yes, she must really love him. To give up any chance at happiness for herself, just so that he could have a chance. That's incredibly noble of her. But no! a little voice told her. She still has no right to admit she has feelings for Neil! He's MY husband! Yes...and that's why she's leaving, another little voice shouted. She's trying to be as selfless as she can and she's trying to right this situation. She can't help that she loves him. And you know he loves her, too. That has to make this even harder for her. "Margaret? You haven't said anything?" Christy's words snapped her out of her mental argument. "You know what I think? I think you're scared because you have feelings for a married man. You're running away in the hopes that maybe it won't be so wrong when you come home again! But it will still be wrong, Christy! Because he'll still be my husband! Unless I'm dead. Oh, maybe that's it! Maybe you're waiting for me to kick the bucket so that it'll be Ok for you to have feelings for Neil!" "No, Margaret, that's not it! I just want Neil to be happy, I want YOU to be happy! And I'm not helping you by being here. If I go visit my parents, I can leave you two alone and maybe you two can make peace! Don't you see that I'm trying to do whatever I can to help you two? "Help us? How are you helping us? By trying to steal my husband away? That's helping?" "No, Margaret! No! I can't help how I feel! That's why I'm leaving! I love him more than I've loved anyone in my entire life. Do you understand what that feels like? No, I'm sure YOU don't!" "Well put, Teach." Christy calmed herself down. "I'm sorry, that was wrong of me. I'm frustrated. You don't know how hard this is for me to tell you this. Do you have any idea what it took for me to get up the courage to talk to you?" At least she's squirming a little, Margaret thought wickedly. "But I had to tell you Margaret. I'm not telling you so that you can feel sorry for me, I'm telling you so that maybe this can help you see what an amazing man he is. And so maybe you can make things right again...before it's too late." Margaret scoffed. "Things will never be right with Neil and I again no matter how long I live." "Even so, at least with me out of the way, you can try. It's not right for me to be in the middle. He's your husband, not mine. I love him with everything I am, but that still doesn't make it right to love him, no matter what your past relationship is." She paused. "I would never want to hurt either of you." "You're so sickeningly sweet," Margaret spat out in disgust. But on the inside, Margaret knew how true the words were. Christy was willing to give up the only man she ever loved so that Margaret could set things straight with him once and for all. Christy was giving all this up for her, so that she could fix things with Neil. I could never do that; I could never be that selfless or that good. And now there's no chance I ever will be. Maybe Christy leaving will be a good thing. Maybe I CAN make things right with Neil while there's still time. Her anger slowly started to dissipate and began to be replaced by compassion. That's new for me, Margaret thought. She chuckled as she thought that her heart might actually be human after all. Margaret looked over at the tiny woman sitting next to her. God, she's not more than a child, and she's done so much more than I ever will with my life. I wonder if I could have learned something from her if we had been friends. "Well, I best be going. See ya around, Christy. And don't worry, I'll keep Neil warm for you while you're gone, " she added smugly. She could see her words sting Christy, but this time she didn't get pleasure from it. She actually felt sorry for being so cruel to her. She's just one of many people I've hurt, I guess, Margaret ruefully reminisced. "Look, I didn't mean that. Old habits die hard, I guess. I'm trying to be better, Christy. I am." Margaret stood up and brushed off her coat. "I guess you couldn't really tell from this conversation, but I am trying. I figure I need to make the time I have left count, ya know?" "Don't say that Margaret. I'm sure you're illness will go into remission again, just like it did last time." "Maybe..." The conversation trailed off as they became absorbed in their own thoughts. "Well, I had better go." "Yeah, me too." "Take care of Neil, will you? He's a good man." "I know. Have fun in Ashville" Christy mounted Prince. "Thanks." She said goodbye and headed towards the river. Margaret decided to walk Charlie the rest of the way back to Neil's, it wasn't that far. She noticed Christy was heading away from the Mission. "Hey, aren't you going the wrong way?" "Well, yes, but I decided to go visit the Spencers since their cabin is right across the river. As long as I'm here." "Right. Goodbye." Margaret turned and started to walk back to the cabin. She hadn't walked more than 30 feet when she heard a scream fill the air. Chapter 22 Neil threw open his cabin door when he heard a woman scream. Grabbing his coat off a chair by the door, he dashed outside. Margaret turned her head just in time to see Christy fall headfirst over Prince and into the water, sending up a huge splash. Leaving Charlie where he was, Margaret ran to where Prince was now standing in the river, rider-less. Margaret's eyes searched for Christy, but she couldn't see her anywhere. Suddenly, Margaret saw Christy's petite form floating facedown downstream. Margaret ran along the bank to try to get ahead of Christy, but the current was too fast. Knowing she would need help, Margaret yelled at the top of her lungs. "NEIL!!" Not waiting to see if he heard her, Margaret ran as fast as she could ahead of Christy, not stopping to see where she was. When she saw Christy still floating 10 feet upstream from her, Margaret knew what she had to do. She jumped into the water. The current almost knocked her off her feet, and she had to grab onto a rock jutting out of the river for balance. She saw Christy coming towards her and reached out her arm as far as she could, hoping it would be enough to catch the teacher. It was! Margaret managed to grab a hold of the edge of Christy's coat. But her grip was slipping. Her fingers were cold, and she couldn't form a tight fist. No! She wouldn't lose her! Using all her strength, Margaret pulled the lifeless teacher to her. She turned Christy over and put her on the rock she was using for balance. "Neil!" she called again. She didn't know what to do, she wasn't a doctor! Christy wasn't breathing, she knew that much. Her lips were blue from the water, and she had an ugly gash on her head. Margaret prayed that Neil would find them. She knew she couldn't keep herself from getting swept under and help Christy at the same time. Just at that moment, Neil saw something moving in the stream up ahead of him. It was Margaret. Had she fallen in? No...what...there was someone else in the river with her. Christy! His heart stood still as he recognized her unmoving form. Without thinking, he tossed his coat on the bank and leapt into the river. It seemed like an eternity before he reached her. He scooped her up in his arms and held her to his chest. "Oh, Christy..." he whispered to her as he frantically trudged back to shore, leaving Margaret to follow behind him. He laid her on the bank of the river and leaned over her. He heard nothing. Forcing himself to calm down for her sake, he rolled up his sleeves. Repositioning himself by her side, he pinched her nose and tilted her head back. He bent over and blew into her mouth. He turned his head and put his ear over her mouth. Still nothing. "Oh, God, no. No." He blew into her mouth again, hoping to hear something. Anything. But Christy remained still before him. Reaching behind him, he located his coat and put it on her. At least he could warm her up. Leaning over her one more time, he tried to breath life back into her. She gasped finally, filling his ears with the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. "Christy, Christy!" He picked her up and held her to his chest again. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh my God, thank you." Christy looked up at him. "You know, you shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain," she joked weakly, her voice barely above a whisper. Neil laughed the most carefree laugh, feeling nothing in the world could touch him at that moment. The woman he loved was safe again. He tore a sleeve off his shirt and pressed the cloth to Christy's forehead. "It's not the best bandage, but it'll have to do. I left my bag back at..." Then he heard it. The horrible, wracking cough. He looked up to see Margaret hunched over in a ball on the ground. He looked down at Christy. "She needs you. I'm all right. Go to her." Neil helped Christy into a sitting position so she could breathe better, and then he ran over to help Margaret. Mustering what little strength she had, Christy got up and came to sit down next to Margaret. Taking Neil's coat off her shoulders, she wrapped it around Margaret's trembling form. Focusing his attention back to Margaret, he leaned over and took her head in his hands. "You're crazy Margaret. What were you doing in the river? It's freezing." "I...was..." she had to stop as coughs took control of her body. When they subsided enough, she continued. "Christy fell in and was knocked unconscious." she wheezed. "I had to save her. She loves you. She loves you like I should have loved you all those years ago. I had to do something right for once." Neil helped Margaret sit up. Compassion filled his heart for this poor woman who had spent her whole life making others miserable, only to change at the last moment. Neil pulled her to him and hugged her, something he hadn't done for as long as he could remember. "I had to make my life count." She started to say something else when she was overcome with coughing again. Neil braced her with his shoulder, and waited for the episode to pass. But this one didn't pass. Margaret kept coughing and coughing until the grass next to her was soaked with blood. As the minutes passed, Neil knew each second she continued to cough, the more she was likely to suffocate. After what seemed like hours, Margaret stopped coughing enough to sit up again. "This is it, isn't it Neil?" "Christy, we have to get her to the Mission" Neil said, not answering Margaret's question. Christy nodded, and got up to retrieve the horses. All of a sudden, she became light-headed and staggered. "Christy! All right, you stay with Margaret, I'll get them." How am I going to get them both to the Mission, he wondered. He prayed he would be able to get them there safely. Securing Christy in the saddle, and then settling Margaret in front of him, Neil set off for the Mission, leading Prince by the reins. Occasionally he would call to Christy to make sure she was all right, but every time she insisted she was fine enough, and that he should concentrate on Margaret. Neil saw the Mission up ahead, and had never been happier to see a building in his life. "Grantland!" he called out, not sure if David was even home. But as soon as his name was called, David appeared at the door. He had been at the Mission working on his sermon, and secretly hoping to see Christy. He stepped outside when he saw the people approaching. Running over to Christy, he noticed the gash on her head that stood out purple on her overly pale skin. He reached out his arms to help her down. "What happened Christy? Are you Ok? You're bleeding!" "David, I appreciate your concern, but I'm not the one who needs your attention. It's Margaret." Looking over to Neil, David hadn't even noticed the form slumped in front of him. He had been so focused on Christy that he had completely ignored the other two riders. David walked over to Charlie. "Here, let me help," and reached up his arms again, this time to help Margaret down. He could tell from the look in Neil's eyes that something was terribly wrong. Chapter 23 David carried Margaret into the house and set her down in the parlor by the fireplace. He noticed she was shivering, and threw some more wood on the fire. In his haste to feed the fire, he sent embers flying into the air, but no one seemed to notice. "Grantland, I think maybe you should say something for Margaret here. Even if she doesn't want to hear it." Catching the meaning behind his words, he nodded. As he began to pray over Margaret, they all heard the front door bang open. David stopped praying, and they all turned their heads towards the noise. Miss Alice banged in the front door, her saddlebags hitting the doorframe as she entered. She stopped short when she saw Margaret sitting on the couch. Throwing her saddlebags down on the table, she raced to her side. Reaching for her hand, Alice was shocked to feel how icy her daughter's skin felt. "Mother, what are you doing here?" Margaret wheezed. "I was in Big Lick Springs, and I just felt the need to come home again. So, I cut my journey short and came back." Margaret smiled, but it was a sad smile. She could have had so much happiness in her lifetime, but she had thrown it all away. "What happened, Margaret?" Margaret looked at the faces around her. Taking a deep breath, she recounted the story, starting with Christy being thrown from the horse. She didn't think it was necessary to disclose the conversation she and Christy had had. It would serve no purpose to anyone to tell them what she had said. There were tears in Alice's eyes and she listened to her daughter's heroic story. "I just never mattered before, Mother. I could have died yesterday and it wouldn't have mattered to anyone. But now, maybe I've redeemed myself?" She glanced around the room again. "You've done more than that, Margaret. You're a hero, do you realize that? I can't even begin to thank you for saving my life. I will forever be in your debt. You...you gave your life for me..." Christy's voice trailed off. Margaret looked up at Neil. " 'Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it'," she quoted at him. Puzzled at first, it suddenly dawned on him where he had heard those words. It was from the sermon he had heard Grantland give all those weeks ago. He narrowed his eyes questioningly at her. How would she know verses from the Bible? "Even if that's true, I didn't want to give the river a chance to prove the verse is true." She laughed weakly at her pun. "I 'borrowed' your Bible yesterday, Neil, that's why you couldn't find it. It's upstairs under the bed, just so you know where to find it. Just in case I don't make it back there." "Hush, Margaret. Thee is....you are going to get well. This is but a temporary ailment." "It's alright, Mother. I'm not scared to die. I've made a difference in someone's life now." She held out her hand for Neil. Neil walked over and knelt next to David, in front of Margaret. Leaning over, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for coming into my life." Margaret could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she stared at him, the man whose life was so woven with hers. Turning her head, she reached out her other hand for Christy. Using the last ounces of strength she had, Margaret put Christy's hand in Neil's. "This...is how...it should be." Her voice faltered. "Mother?" Alice took Margaret's hands. "Yes my child?" "I've done so much bad...to everyone. But I'm sorry. It's not too late, right mother?" Her voice sounded so childlike, so innocent, that Alice couldn't help but see the little 6-year old with braids who used to sit on her lap. "Is being sorry enough for Him?" Tears fell from Alice's eyes, and sobs threatened to escape her chest. "Oh yes," was all she could say. Margaret seemed content with the answer and closed her eyes. David began to pray for her again, picking up from where he had left off. The only sound in the room was his baritone voice and Margaret's ragged breaths. Margaret opened her eyes again and looked around at the faces who could have taught her so much. "I did something right for once. Finally." She closed her eyes and smiled. It was a beautiful smile, it was the one thing the years and heartaches hadn't touched. Slowly, the ragged breaths tapered off, leaving only David's voice to fill the room. Margaret was gone. Chapter 24 As the crowd walked away from the gravesite, Alice and Christy chose to stay behind. Christy had been afraid that Miss Alice would hate her for causing her daughter's death, but just the opposite happened. She seemed almost glad that it was Christy's love for Neil that brought about the miraculous transformation in Margaret. Miss Alice kissed her hand and placed it lovingly on the stone. In her other hand she held the letter Margaret had written her. It had been hidden by Alice's saddlebags and wasn't discovered until later that evening after Margaret had already passed. It had been a bittersweet moment when she discovered the letter that had fallen on the floor. Christy walked over and hugged the woman she had come to love as a mother. "God works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? I'm just happy she came to the Lord before she left. I thought she was dead years ago, but God brought her back into my life, and then let Himself back into hers." Christy nodded her head into Alice's shoulder. Alice squeezed her tighter, and then let go. "I'll be in the Mission house if thee needs me." Christy marveled at how composed Miss Alice was. Here she was, offering to comfort Christy when it was her own daughter who had died. But even though there was sadness etched in her eyes that day, there was also the joy of knowing her only daughter had gone home. Christy knelt down next to Margaret's tombstone. It was rare that anyone in the cove had a headstone, but Christy had written her parents, and they sent her the money to have a proper gravestone made for Margaret. Christy traced the letters on the stone. Margaret Wife and daughter She made the greatest sacrifice David noticed Christy lingering at Margaret's grave and walked over to her. Crouching down, he placed an arm protectively around her shoulders. "You know, she wouldn't have wanted you to feel guilty. It was only a matter of time before her disease caught up with her, she decided to go out with a bang...and end her life the same way she lived it, with flair." Christy nodded. "And she wouldn't have wanted you to feel guilty about loving MacNeill now either. But...you are in debt to her, you know." Christy looked up at him. "You have to love him with all your heart, or her death would have been in vain. You got that kid?" David stood up and tousled her hair a little. Margaret's selflessness made him realize how childish he was being. He had realized long ago that Christy wasn't the right girl for him, but his pride wasn't willing to admit that she had been right to break the engagement. Margaret's sacrifice had showed him how he was needed to be a Preacher to the people of the Cove, not to be a husband to Christy. As David retreated, Christy failed to see the other figure that came and stood behind her. Neil silently watched Christy as she said her final goodbyes to the woman who had given her life for her. Pushing herself up from the ground, Christy wiped the dirt from her hands as she turned around, nearly bumping into Neil. "Hello." "Hello." "I can't help but feel sad about this, Neil." "No one expects you to be stoic, Christy. It's normal for you to feel attached to her after what she did for you, no matter what else she did during her lifetime. But she did it so that you could live the life she never had." "It's just hard knowing she gave her life for me." "And she did it knowing it would probably one of the last things she did. She made that sacrifice for herself as much as for either of us. She wanted to have a proud moment in her life, even if it was one of her last." "But I still can't help feeling self-conscious about her giving us permission. It doesn't feel right to love you still, even though she's gone." "I know that, Christy, I know. And I think she would have understood that, too. That's why we should take things slowly. We should respect her and her memory and not hurry into anything." "Thank you, Neil. I...just wouldn't feel right yet." "I know Christy." He took her hand and kissed it. "Just know that I will wait as long as it takes for you. For us. I love you." Christy smiled. "I love you too, Neil." They walked back to the Mission hand in hand, stealing occasional glances at each other. There was no need to rush anything. They had an entire lifetime ahead of them. THE END