Title: “David’s Dame” Author: Lisa R. Goddess of the Gap, Soothsayer of the Spencers, Countess of Christy’s Culinary Concoctions, Protector of Neil’s Bunnies Summary: Yet another sequel to the Road Home Disclaimer: Catherine Marshall’s beautiful story of “Christy” is owned by the LeSourd family. I am in no way seeking profit from or credit for either her characters or those of the television series based upon the novel. I am continuing “Christy” for entertainment only. Caution: This fanfiction is the work of an author whose brain has been affected by prolonged illness, writing a critical analysis on “The Courtship of Miles Standish”, and beginning stages a new, serious fanfiction (which is coming very slowly). Total insanity is not a reflection on the part of the author. “David’s Dame” Christy Huddleston was poised precariously between tall, handsome, young Reverend Grantland and the love of her life, Dr. Neil MacNeill. She held in her small, delicate hands a blue velvet jewelry box containing a diamond ring. “Lordamercy,” she thought, the result of spending too much time teaching the young’uns of Cutter Gap and living at the mission house with Ruby Mae Morrison. “This shorely ain’t no Cracker Jack affair!” Her hands trembled and her heart thumped like a laundry wringer as she stared at the beautiful ring. David must have saved for months and months to pay for it! He had bought an engagement ring for *her*! She was flattered, she felt like the most special woman in the world, she felt . . . She felt nothing at all for David. Again she turned to face the man on the horse. Just a few minutes ago, Fairlight Spencer made her realize that Neil MacNeill made her blood boil. And Neil MacNeill didn’t make Christy Huddleston’s blood boil just because he made her mad. He just plain old made it boil! Man, it had surely boiled the night she saw him in the river . . . Christy sighed and smiled at Neil. The Doctor’s face lit up as he understood Christy’s unspoken message. “David,” Christy said in a disgusted voice, turning back to the minister. “I saw how you flirted with those tea house girls. Inviting them to church indeed.” She gave a very loud snort and crossed her arms. “Christy---” “Don’t you *dare* argue with me, David Grantland!” Christy snapped. “Oh, you think you turned out all right, but I know better. You smoked rabbit tobacco. Look what it lead to. A life of---of---of---” The young woman couldn’t think of anything legitimate to say, so she gave the reverend a dirty look, snapped the ring box shut, and beaned him in the forehead. “There’s your answer, Reverend!” “OOOO-Weee!” Creed Allen cried from the doorway of the schoolhouse. “Teacher shore got some spunk in her! What a way t’ turn ‘im down, Miz Christy!” The children applauded wildly, and Christy smiled at them. “HA!” Neil cried, leaping down from Charlie and running to Christy. “What did I tell you, Reverend? She’d already turned you down. Why’d you think she’d say yes this time?” The Doctor threw back his head and laughed. “You were so sure! So sure! I asked you if you were the right man, and are you? NOOOOOOOO!” His big, booming laugh echoed through the mountains. David just glowered at him, rubbing his bruised forehead. Suddenly, Christy burst into tears. “Oh, Neil, Neil, I love you with all my heart! I realized it today! But I can’t have you! You’ll never be mine, because you’re a married man!” Neil pulled the petite young woman into his strong embrace. He kissed her hair over and over and wiped away her tears. David contemplated throwing up. Right on the Doctor. “Christy, my sweet lass, that’s why I chased you down! I have something to tell you,” Neil said. Christy gazed up at the ruggedly handsome Doctor and sniffed. “What?” “I’m a widower.” Christy’s fathomless eyes grew wide. “What?” “It happened right after you rode away,” Neil explained. “I was saddling Charlie, and Margaret was mad at me. She went to kill my bunnies. She opened the cage, and they attacked her. Have you ever seen bunnies fight, Christy? They’re so cute, but when they don’t like someone...” The young schoolteacher just stared, trying to take all this in. “Well, what Margaret didn’t know was that my bunnies had gotten bit by a rabid raccoon a few weeks ago. I couldn’t bear to kill them, because they’re so cute...” “Oh, your poor bunnies!” Christy’s heart fluttered at the soft expression on the manly Doctor’s face when he talked about his bunnies. There were tears in his eyes. Christy knew it was tearing him up inside about the fate his bunnies would soon know because of their disease. She reached up and pushed away that curl that always fell over Neil’s forehead. “Christy, love, Margaret died of bites from my rabid bunnies.” “AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!” David cried, pulling his hair in anguish. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” “Shut up, David,” said Christy. “You’re such a bad loser.” David continued to throw a hissy fit, and Christy just rolled her eyes and snuggled against Neil. “He’s always got his panties in a wad.” David was offended at this remark, but as soon as he whirled around, he felt a powerful blow and everything went black... When David came to, he opened his eyes to a sea of red hair. Ruby Mae’s white, freckled face hovered over him. “Preacher,” she whimpered, “Preacher, are ye all right? Preacher?” “I’m fine, Ruby Mae,” David groaned. “But my eye hurts.” “That Doc,” Ruby Mae scowled. “He shore walloped ye good. Fer no reason, neither.” The girl’s expression changed, and she sat on the edge of the bed. Smiling alluringly and batting her eyelashes, she said sweetly, “Not like when you walloped *him* fer bein’ drunker than a skunk! Oh, Preacher, that shorely was th’ right best punch I ever did see!” “Thank you, Ruby Mae,” said David. “Can you leave me now? I need to sleep.” “Shorely, Preacher. I’ll jest mosey on t’ th’ kitchen an’ make some vittles. Mebbe somethin’ good wi’ possum...” “How about bunny?” David muttered bitterly. “Pardon?” “Nothing. Possum will be great,” David told the girl, and she scurried off to the kitchen. David lay on his bed and thought. It hurt his brain to think, what with the stress of the day and the blows he had sustained to the head, from Neil’s punch and the ring box. The ring. “What am I going to do with a diamond ring?” David asked himself aloud, then he broke down in tears of agony. His pride hurt him almost as badly as his head and eye. A woman had turned him down! It was almost too much to bear. “Why?” he asked. “Why? I’m tall and handsome, and I have a way with words, and I love to kiss...Why would she turn me down?” “My money gone to waste! Christy wasn’t worth it anyway, she and her Doctor with his stupid bunnies!” David pitched the ring at the wall. On impact, it bounced back and hit him square in the forehead. “AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!” David’s nostril’s twitched to the tantalizing aroma of possum baking in the oven. Gingerly, he got out of bed and slowly walked to the kitchen. He was a bit dizzy and wondered if maybe he had a concussion, but the smells coming from the kitchen were too wonderful. He did not stop. He must get that possum! The kitchen door stood halfway open, and David stopped suddenly as he reached it. The sight he beheld made him catch his breath. There, in the middle of the mission house kitchen, stood Ruby Mae. Her hair was pulled up in a bun, but long red curls fell down from it. The sleeves of her dress were rolled up, and she wore an apron. He could see her lovely pointy-toed shoes peeking out from under the hem of her skirt, and he noticed the graceful way she turned her ankles as she bustled about, seasoning different bubbling pots. Smudges of flour dusted her face and clothing. She was ravishing. Ruby Mae was the picture of domestication. David could never seen Christy (the little wretch) doing anything like this. Suddenly, city girls, Christy and Sissel, gave him a bitter taste in his mouth. They galled him. Mountain women were what he wanted. *Ruby Mae* was *the right woman for him*! Just then, Ruby Mae turned around. She blushed when she saw the reverend staring unabashedly at him. “Supper’s almost ready, Preacher! Ye’d best git washed up!” “Yes, ma’am,” David replied, his heart skipping a beat. *Ye’d better git washed up!* He’d never heard more wonderful words from a young woman in all his life. Quickly, he ran to his bunkhouse and grabbed the little box that lay on his bed. There was a little dent in it---Christy had thrown it quite forcefully, and David’s head was so hard . . . He knew what to do with the ring. Resolution written on his face, David returned to the kitchen. The Reverend ate like a starving man that night. He had fifth helpings of possum. Ruby Mae was flushed with excitement. “Lordy! Is it that good, Preacher?” “The cook is that good,” he said suavely, licking his fingers and flashing Ruby Mae a debonair smile. Ruby Mae swooned, but Christy dumped her water glass on her. “Get up, Ruby Mae. That was a bad pick-up line.” “You’re just jealous,” David sneered at her. Neil glared at David and held up his fist. The skinny preacher slunk back into his shadowy corner of the table. After the meal, Ruby Mae started to clear off the table. David quickly took the dishes from her. “You work too hard.” He heaped the stack of dishes into Christy’s arms. “Get to work.” Then he took Ruby Mae’s hand. “Come to the gazebo with me, darling.” Ruby Mae gulped. Her heart felt like it was in her throat. “D---darlin’?” “And a thousand other endearments,” David said, his voice husky. Well, as husky as his voice could get. Mostly, he just sounded like a smooth-talking high-school boy. But to Ruby Mae, it was husky with love. Forget Rob Allen! The two walked to the gazebo. “Ruby Mae,” David said, kneeling before the red-head. “You are lovely in the moonlight. You are *lovelier* than the moonlight.” Ruby Mae swooned again. “I’m going to be sick,” Christy muttered. She and Neil were spying on the lovers through the kitchen window. Neil watched as David took out the ring from its blue velvet case. “Fickle. Fickle, fickle, fickle, fickle.” “He probably tried to get someone else to wear that ring before he offered it to me,” Christy muttered. “The advertisement in his pocket was just a front. Ha! Just a front for his trips to El Pano!” Outside, Ruby Mae was coming to. David leaned over her, his beautiful eyes and smile more beautiful than ever. “Preacher, you done made me swoon twicet. Yer some hand fer courtin’!” “You do it to me. It comes naturally.” “Ruby Mae,” he whispered, kissing her. “Marry me?” “Ye---ye want t’ git hitched?” Ruby Mae’s voice was choked with emotion, tears shone in her eyes. “I can’t live without possum three times a day,” the Preacher replied. “Cooked by *you*.” David caught Ruby Mae before he hit her head on the hard wood of the gazebo floor again. David and Ruby Mae were married a fortnight later in the Cove, and it was the biggest play-party the Cove had ever known. Then David swept Ruby Mae away to Europe for a month-long honeymoon. There had never been a more cultured couple in the Continent, and Europe was never quite the same after those star-crossed lovers passed through it. But they missed the Cove; they couldn’t find a single possum dish in all of Europe. Neil and Christy were married that year, too. But their wedding was small and far outshone by the Grantland-Morrison marriage. The Doctor and the Teacher writhed with bitterness and jealousy against David and Ruby Mae. “Fickle, fickle, fickle,” Neil always said. “Fickle city boy just trying to jerk Christy’s chain.” In the years that followed, David built a huge mansion for Ruby Mae. There they lived like any high-society family in Boston and raised their two spoiled children. Ruby Mae was always dressed in the latest Paris fashions, and she wore her abundant red hair in the latest styles and had the most expensive, gaudy jewels that money could buy.They even had two automobiles, a chauffeur, and a whole houseful of servants. David bought all this for two reasons: Ruby Mae was his idol, and he wanted to make Christy green with envy. The MacNeills were dirt poor and lived in squalor, for Christy was a bad housekeeper and an even worse cook. Neil had forgotten about chicken a la burnt when he asked her to marry him. When he remembered, it was too late. But it was all right, for Neil and Christy loved one another with a passion. They raised a dozen healthy, happy children (who had their father’s fiery temper and mighty punch and always beat up David and Ruby Mae’s skinny brats) and always had a yard full of bunnies. And Christy, when she saw the fine home and possessions, always took comfort in the fact that *her* husband was not fickle. He had not proposed to her right after getting turned down by someone else. She turned her nose up smugly every time she saw Ruby Mae and David parading by. But all-in-all, both the Grantlands and the MacNeills lived happily ever after. And every time David ate possum for dinner, cooked and served by a stunning red-head, he secretly thanked Christy for beaning him in the forehead with the blue velvet ring box. The End