DISCLAIMER: The story and characters of Christy are owned by the LeSourd family. This work of fan fiction is for personal amusement only and is not intended to infringe on any of those rights. The writer does not seek to profit in any way from this story. Any additions of characters or story lines were invented by the writer. *************************************** ************************************** Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 1 Setting: The story opens in very late January, approximately three months after "The Road Home." Author: Greer ************************************** "Class dismissed." Christy's words were instantly followed by the sound of scraping chairs as students scrambled from their seats. As the children tumbled out of the school, adding their fresh footprints to the numerous impressions in the snow-covered field, several sprinted past a solitary figure slowly making its way across the white landscape. Normally, the children would stop to pass the time of day. However, they had become accustomed to this routine and no longer had reason to interrupt their mad dash home. Truth be told, the children had no desire to talk to the slow-moving woman. Christy stood in the doorway of the school, watching the children scatter. She did not need to follow to know where the figure was headed. She had made the same journey herself many times. It had been four weeks since Margaret's death, and each of those days, Miss Alice had made this lonely pilgrimage to her daughter's grave. There she would kneel in front of the headstone, sharing a private moment with the memory of her only child. Margaret Henderson MacNeill Oct. 12, 1881 - Dec. 23, 1913 May in Death She Find Peace Christy's mind drifted back to the day, nearly three months ago, when she had turned down David's marriage proposal. Late that same evening, Margaret had come to the mission house, begging to stay, claiming that Neil had refused to let her remain in his cabin. Miss Alice had hesitated but a moment -- she could not turn away her only daughter. By the next morning, it was obvious to everyone how ill Margaret had become and that her defiant attitude of the previous day had been merely a facade. Neil had been summoned. His diagnosis had been quick and severe: the tuberculosis was back with a vengeance. Throughout Margaret's illness, Neil had been an attentive doctor, if not a devoted husband. Although Margaret tried valiantly to rekindle his affections, he never once reciprocated her advances. He dutifully provided for her medical needs, even seeking the advice of specialists as to the best course of treatment. He considered sending her back to Atlanta, but decided that she was too ill to make the journey or to benefit from aggressive therapy. Nevertheless, after nearly six weeks, Margaret's condition began to improve and Neil and Miss Alice actually believed they might conquer the disease one more time. Until influenza hit the Cove. Mary Allen had been one of the first afflicted. Then Jeb and Lulu Spencer and Granny O'Teale. The disease had spread quickly, enveloping adults and children alike. Even now, Ruby Mae battled its effects. But no one had been more devastated by the disease than Margaret. Pneumonia followed quickly, and her lungs, already weakened by the tuberculosis, were powerless to fight off another invader. Within a few days, she was dead. A gust of cold wind jerked Christy back to the present, and she pulled her arms tightly around her chest. Miss Alice was now but a speck on the horizon. Since her arrival in Cutter Gap, Christy had never felt so alone. The closeness and the intimacy she had shared with David and Neil and Miss Alice was gone, replaced by a veil of formal courtesy. Fairlight was too overwhelmed with illness in her own family to provide much support. Only Christy's joy in the children and the love of God had made these last weeks bearable. Christy was especially troubled by the deterioration of her relationship with Miss Alice. Following Margaret's death, Alice had lapsed into a deep despair. She carried out her nursing duties, but the fervor was gone. Her appearance, once so robust, had become haggard and drawn. In times of crisis, Christy had always been able to rely on her mentor for advice and support. Lately, the older woman had withdrawn completely, rejecting all Christy's attempts at sympathy. Christy briskly crossed the short distance between the school and the mission. She would have to hurry if she hoped to have dinner ready at a decent hour. With Ruby Mae still ailing, Fairlight tending to two sick children, and Miss Alice visiting Neil's patients in his absence, it often fell to Christy to prepare meals. As Christy tied her apron around her waist and began slicing the carrots, beans and squash, she thought about Neil and wondered if the doctor would drop by this evening. He had left two days ago after receiving a call reporting ten new cases of influenza in Raven Gap. Dire as Cutter Gap's situation had been, surrounding communities had been hit even harder by the disease. Neil had become a frequent visitor to the mission, often sharing dinner and then bunking on a cot for the night. With so many patients to see, he simply had no time to make the trip back to his cabin every evening, and the mission provided a convenient stopping-off point. Christy could not explain why she looked forward to his visits. Since David's proposal, Neil had been civil, even courteous toward her. But the discussions which had inflamed Christy's passions and which she had reluctantly come to treasure were a thing of the past. Neil no longer shared in her confidences nor invited her to share in his. She was just setting dinner on the table when the whinny of a horse announced the doctor's arrival. Christy was shocked by his appearance. It seemed that every inch of his clothing, from the collar of his coat to the toes of his boots, was covered in dirt and dried mud. The lines etched in his face had deepened, his shoulders sagged, and he had not shaven for several days. However, looking into his eyes, Christy recognized the fire that always seemed to burn when his skills and endurance were taxed most severely. David and Alice were already seated at the dinner table. "How are things in Raven Gap?" David asked. "Two more dead," Neil said with a sigh, as he washed his hands and face. "But also no new cases while I was there. I think the worst may be over." He reached for a towel. "We'll see when I go back next week." "I thought I would make a trip there myself," David suggested. "I might be able to provide some support, at least comfort the grieving." "Might not be a bad idea," Neil commented. He took a seat next to David and across from Alice, who had not spoken since Neil's arrival. It amazed Christy how well Neil and David were getting along. She did not know if it was Margaret's death, the influenza crisis, or something else. But the two had reached a detente in their relationship. How long it would last, Christy dared not dream. She placed a plate in front of Neil and took her seat next to Alice. "How is Ruby Mae?" Dr. MacNeill asked, putting a forkful of food into his mouth. Christy glanced sideways at Alice, expecting her to answer. The older woman sat slowly stirring her food; she had barely touched the thick vegetable stew. Christy saw Alice's lack of appetite was not lost on Neil, whose keen sense of observation had already noted something amiss. "She seems better," Christy answered. "Her temperature is down and she isn't coughing nearly as much. I'm not sure we'll be able to keep her in bed much longer--" Christy was interrupted by a hacking cough from Alice. Neil's eyes narrowed in concern. "I'll check on her before I head home." "You must be tired from your trip. The cot's still set up. Maybe you should stay here for the night," Christy suggested. "No, I need to go back to my cabin to replenish my supplies," Neil said wearily. "I'm almost out of everything, and I have many calls tomorrow." He grabbed another bite of food, rose from the table, and snatched up his saddlebags. "Alice, I don't like sound of that cough. I want to examine you before I leave. I'll stop by your room after I see Ruby Mae." The tone of his voice and the look in his eyes left no room for dissent. ********************************** Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 2 Summary: Tough times for Miss Alice and for Christy Author: Greer ********************************** David helped Christy clear the dishes from the table. Christy had been unsure what to expect from the young minister after turning down his second proposal. She knew her rejection had wounded him and, given the public nature of the proposal, had probably injured his pride as well. Yet, since that day, he had been gracious. David recognized that his own inopportune timing contributed to her decision and had made no further efforts at romance. After the stormy events of the past months, it was a welcome reprieve. Tonight, David sensed her concern. "Don't worry about Alice. She's stronger than the rest of us put together. I'm sure MacNeill is simply being cautious." "I don't know, David. You've seen how bad she looks. She hasn't been well since Margaret's death. I just don't know what I'd do if she became ill." As Christy picked up another plate, David stepped behind her and tenderly squeezed her shoulders. "Christy, don't you worry. Whatever happens, we'll face it together. We have to entrust Alice to God's care." She felt strangely relieved at his words. This was a side of David Christy rarely glimpsed. He held her, asking nothing in return, and she felt safe and content in his arms. Just as quickly, David released her and returned to gathering up plates. When she finished washing and drying the dishes, Christy hurried upstairs. She found Dr, MacNeill coming out of Alice's room, stethoscope still around his neck, a grim expression on his face. "Ruby Mae's doing fine," he said, sagging against the wall. "She should be up in a few days. As for Alice," his face clouded, "it's as I suspected. Influenza complicated by pneumonia -- and a very severe case. Both lungs are consolidated." "Oh, no." Christy wasn't exactly sure what Neil mean by his last remark, but she understood it was not good news. "You can see for yourself how rundown she is. And at her age," his voice trailed off. "She's gong to need complete rest and more than a little luck," he warned. "And prayer," Christy added. Neil shrugged. "I suppose it couldn't hurt. I'll leave you some medicine to give her. Make sure she takes it -- even if you have to force it down her throat." Christy noticed the lack of humor in his voice. "I'll stop by as often as possible. Like it or not, David will have to help out as well." Christy turned to go down the stairs when Neil grasped her arm gently. "You're next," he said, pointing at his stethoscope and nodding toward her room. "I want to have a look at you as well." "That's not necessary, Doctor. I feel perfectly fine, " Christy insisted. "Christy, first it was Margaret, then Ruby Mae, and now Alice. They have all been ill with influenza, and you've been around them day and night." Neil's eyes betrayed his concern. "I want to be sure you're not coming down with it too." As she again started to protest, he said firmly, "No argument. Doctor's orders." Dr. MacNeill was uncharacteristically tense and silent during the brief examination. His only words took the form of medical commands. He felt Christy's forehead, checked her throat, listened to her heart and lungs, and gently percussed her back. Only when he had finished did he appear to relax. "It seems fine," he said, relief evident in his voice. "I had to be sure, Christy," he added, answering her wordless question. He quietly gathered up his things and prepared to leave. At the door, he paused, then looked back at Christy, who was still seated on the bed. For a brief moment, she saw mist form in the doctor's eyes. "There has been so much death and illness these past months. I just couldn't bear for someone else I care for to fall ill." And then he was gone. ****** A week later, the epidemic finally relinquished its grip on the Cove. No new cases had developed since Miss Alice, and most of the ill had made complete recoveries. In addition to Margaret, three others had succumbed to the disease -- two infants and Granny O'Teale. People were thankful that the damage had not been more severe. They knew that their neighbors in Raven Gap had not been as fortunate. Twelve had died there, including five children. The mood at the mission house was more somber as Miss Alice's condition continued to worsen. Her hacking cough served as a constant reminder of the toll that the disease exacted on her body. Neil's near continuous presence attested to his concern. Despite the pressing demands for his services, he spent as much time as possible at the mission. Three days ago, he had left Alice in the care of Dan Scott and headed to Raven Gap. It was early morning when the doctor arrived back at the mission house, his disheveled appearance telling of yet another late night. He trudged into the kitchen, saddlebags in hand. Christy was still cleaning up from breakfast. "How is she?" Neil did not mince words. "Her temperature has been up since you left. It was 102 this morning. Her cough --" Christy was interrupted by a muffled sound from upstairs. "You can hear for yourself. And she's barely eaten in days. She's taking the medicine you left, but I don't know that it's doing any good." Christy was beginning to feel more like a nurse than a teacher. With the lack of qualified medical personnel, illness in the mountains forced everyone to learn quickly to care for the sick. She tried to recite the information factually, but the concern and worry she felt for Alice crept into her voice. "I'm worried about her. I've tried everything -- even fixed her favorite meals. But she just won't eat. And her cough sounds worse. She's not getting better, is she?" Neil stared at Christy intently, but did not answer immediately. Christy looked as tired as he felt. He knew that these past months had not been easy on her. Alice's illness had probably drained her last emotional reserves. Christy always put forward a strong front -- he sometimes forgot about her vulnerabilities. He started to speak, then closed his mouth as he appeared to reach a decision. "This has gone on long enough," he said under his breath. Then, to Christy, "Let me see what I can do. Give me her tray," her ordered. Balancing the tray and his saddlebags, he strode toward the stairs. Christy, as usual, started to follow. Sensing her presence, Neil turned around, a look of steely determination on his face. "No. Wait here, Christy." Seeing her questioning look, he added, "Please. I need to say something to her, and I'd best do it alone." Neil paused briefly outside Alice's door. What he was about to do would not be easy. He would have preferred another time and place. But he knew that if he didn't act now, there might not be a later time for Alice. He had seen this happen before -- patients who by all accounts should be improving nevertheless died simply because they lost the will to live. "Turning to the wall" his medical school professor had called it. Well, he had lost Margaret -- he did not intend to lose her mother as well. Neil took a deep breath and opened the door. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 3 Summary: Miss Alice confronts her grief Author: Greer ******************************* Neil was greeted by an extended coughing fit. His professional eyes took in the situation in a single glance. He didn't need a medical degree to know that Alice was worse than when he had left three days ago. Setting down his bag, he approached her bed with the tray of food. "Alice, Christy tells me you didn't touch your breakfast. I don't need to lecture you of all people on how important it is for you to eat. You need your strength if you're to have any chance of fighting the pneumonia." "I didn't eat it because I didn't want to eat it," Alice snapped, turning her head away from the proffered tray. Neil placed the tray on the bedside table and turned to face her. "I know you're mourning Margaret, but destroying yourself won't bring her back," he said bluntly. Failing to elicit a response, he continued. "This is helping no one. It certainly is not what Margaret would have wanted." "How dare thee talk to me about what Margaret would have wanted." Alice spit out the words. "At least I mourn her." "So is that what this is about?" Neil was equally animated. "Is this your way of punishing me?" "Margaret was thy wife, Neil. How can thee be so unaffected by her death?" Alice sputtered the final sentence as a hacking cough again overtook her. Neil glared at her for a moment, his eyes flashing. Finally, he moved to the bed and held Alice until the fit had passed. As he released her and moved away, he said softly, "I mourned her. I mourned her five years ago." He stepped around to the foot of the bed. "I once loved Margaret. But that was a long time ago. Margaret was dead to me when she drowned in that river. I grieved for her then. Now I have nothing left to give." "But she came back to thee, Neil," Alice whispered. "No," Neil replied forcefully. "The woman who came back may have been Margaret to you. The Margaret I knew was dead. I could never again love her as my wife. I'm sorry you can't understand that." Neil took advantage of Alice's silence. "What I want to know," he asked suddenly, "is whether you are mourning Margaret's death or that you could never make her the person you wanted her to be?" He expected a stinging retort. Instead, Alice turned her head toward the window. When she looked back, she said simply, "I don't know, Neil. Since Margaret died, I have felt an emptiness -- as if the very purpose of my existence has been taken away." "You blame yourself for Margaret's life," Neil said gently. "And thee blame thyself for her death." Neil did not respond. "Margaret seemed so eternally unhappy." Alice spoke through tears. "I wish I'd been able to--" She started coughing again. Neil waited until the fit had passed. "Alice, Margaret may not have lived the way you -- or I -- might have chosen. But she made her own decisions." "But at the end--" "Even at the end, Margaret fought for her life. She was always a fighter. She got that from you. She would not rest easy knowing you had given up." "There is nothing left to fight for." "Nonsense, Alice," Neil said sternly. He sat down next to her, taking her hand in his. The doctor in him noted it was warm. "How would we get on without you? This mission needs you, the children need you, and Christy needs you. If you could only see what this is doing to her." He stared straight into her eyes. Alice could not meet his gaze. "You never had a chance with Margaret. But you do with Christy. Don't waste that." They sat quietly for a moment. The strongest presence in the room belonged to one who was not there. Finally, Neil reached for the bowl of cereal. "Try to eat some of this food Christy prepared." Alice tentatively tasted a spoonful. "Not bad." And, for the first time in a month, Neil saw the hint of a smile on her face. **** No one knew it at the time, but that morning marked a turning point in Alice's recovery. She remained bedridden, her omnipresent cough reminding everyone of the seriousness of her illness. Yet, each day brought some small improvement and, although never a model patient, Alice increasingly cooperated with those caring for her. Thus, when Christy entered Miss Alice's room one bright spring morning three weeks later, she was startled to hear her mentor's sharp voice. "Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply." Alice mimicked Neil's accent. "I am sick and tired of breathing deeply." Christy glanced at Neil, sitting on the bed next to his patient, a mischievous smile on his lips. "My exceptional bedside manner seems to be wasted on my patient," he said playfully as he removed his stethoscope from around his neck and twirled it in his fingers. "Or perhaps it has deserted me altogether. What do you think, Miss Huddleston?" These days, Dr. MacNeill used her surname only when he was angry with her or teasing her. Unable to repress a grin, Christy had no doubt which it was today. She realized the doctor would not be joking like this unless Miss Alice's condition had improved. "Maybe it's just that Scottish stubborn streak coming out." Christy was willing to join in Neil's unique brand of therapy. "Aye, that it might be, lass," replied Neil in his thickest brogue. "Enough, you two," Miss Alice interjected, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a smile. "When do I get out of this bed, Neil?" "Your temperature is normal and your lungs are almost clear. I see no reason why you can't get up for a short while this very day." Seeing the light in Alice's eyes, he adopted his most professional tone. "I said 'short,' Alice," he reminded her sternly. "You're still very weak both from the pneumonia and from being in bed these many weeks. I needn't tell you how quickly you could relapse if you try to do too much too soon." "I understand," Alice answered. "And if I forget, I have Christy to keep me in line." "I'm not sure if that's good or bad," Neil said with another grin. He collected his things and rose to leave. "I'll be back to check on you in a few days. Remember," he said to Christy as much as to Alice, "rest is still essential." "I'll be sure Miss Alice obeys your orders." Christy started to follow Neil out of the room. "Christy, would thee stay a moment?" Alice called to her. Christy stepped back into the room, as the doctor's footfalls sounded on the stairs. "I want to apologize for my actions these past -- since Margaret died." Alice briefly looked down at her clasped hands. "Miss Alice, there's no need--" Alice's head jerked up. "Yes, there is. I have failed in my responsibilities to this mission and to you. In allowing you to come to Cutter Gap, thy parents entrusted thee to my care. Thee are my responsibility as much as Margaret was. Maybe more." She paused briefly. "I allowed my grief to consume me. When Margaret died, I could think of nothing else. I ignored the needs of others and rejected those who tried to comfort me -- David, Neil, and thee especially. It was unforgivable. As a result of my selfishness, I almost died." "Miss Alice, you are the most unselfish person I know. You were upset over Margaret's death. I'm sure you didn't mean--" Christy's voice trailed off. "I do not need thee to excuse my actions. I accept responsibility for what I have done." Christy felt the intensity in her voice. "Instead of putting my trust in the Lord and reaching for His strength, I blamed God for taking Margaret from me." Alice reached out and squeezed her arm. "While Margaret was alive, I tried to change her. I tried to make her into the person I wished her to be when I should have accepted her for the person she was. When she died, I believed there was no reason to go on living. I realize now that destroying myself will not bring Margaret back. I have prayed to God to set me on the right path once again. And He has." She lay back on the pillows. "In His infinite mercy, God has given me another opportunity which I do not deserve. I have made my peace with the Lord and with Neil. Now, I must do so with thee. I know my selfishness as well as the bitterness I displayed over these many weeks have brought thee great sorrow. I ask for thy forgiveness and thy help as I start anew." Christy could see that Miss Alice was struggling with her grief and with her faith and would not rest until she received a response. This time, it was she who reached for the hand of her mentor. For the first time in months, the two women prayed together. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 4 Summary: One of Christy's students considers a challenge Author: Greer ******************************* "Creed, would you point to Vermont?" Standing before his classmates at the front of the schoolroom, the boy studiously considered the map of the United States for a moment, then settled his stubby finger on one spot. Christy sighed inwardly. "No, that's close but not quite right. What state is that, Creed?" A voice sounded from the back of the room. "Everyone knows it's Maine. How stupid." Christy turned to the rambunctious boy. "I don't believe I asked you, Lundy. You will have your turn later. Creed, let's try again to find Vermont." After two days, the younger students still had difficulty identifying states. Christy struggled to make other states real to children who had never left the confines of Cutter Gap. She would have to think of new ways to teach the children about the many regions outside their home. Creed was successful on his second try. "Very good. Now Clara, why don't you tell us how to spell Vermont," Christy asked. The small girl stood up self-consciously. "Vermont." "V-E-R-R--" "How many "r's?" "Two?" Clara guessed. When Christy didn't respond, the child tried again. "One?" "That's right." "Vermont. V-E-R-M--" As Clara continued spelling, Christy heard a rustling from the back of the classroom. Clara had finished the word correctly. "Very good. That's absolutely right." She continued to call on children, slowly working her way toward the open door of the building. By the time she reached the source of the noise, she was unable to locate the culprit, but spied Will Beck with a guilty look on his face. "Will, why don't you step up to the map and locate the thirteen colonies that became the first states." The young man fared better than most of the class, correctly identifying all but Rhode Island. Christy decided to break for lunch on this relative high note. Though still chilly, the early April sunshine provided sufficient warmth for the children to eat their meals outdoors. Christy was relieved to see each child had brought something to eat. Many days, more than one child would arrive empty-handed. Christy had long since learned that she would end up taking home any extra meals for those without lunch. Even hungry, the children would not accept charity. However, she had found that most were willing to "share" a portion of her lunch. Thus, Christy usually prepared for herself enough food to feed a small army and then parcelled out the leftovers. As she finished her meal, she noticed several of the older children clustered in a small group, whispering among themselves. So intent were they on seeing an item in one boy's hand, that they failed to notice her approach. "What's so interesting?" she inquired innocently. "Nothing, Miz Christy." At the center of the group, Will Beck hastily crumpled a sheet of paper behind his back. "If you can share it with the other children, you can share it with me." Christy held out her hand. She had no idea what was on that sheet of paper and realized she was taking a gamble by demanding to see it. But she felt her authority challenged and refused to back down. "I don't reckon you'd be interested." "Why don't you let me decide that," she replied firmly, her arm still outstretched. Reluctantly, Will brought the crumpled paper out from behind his back and slowly placed it in Christy's hand. It was a newspaper article. She pulled her hand back, smoothed out the creases in the paper, and slowly read the words on the page. She wasn't sure what to say. Ruby Mae inadvertently came to her rescue. "Can you believe it, Miz Christy," she said excitedly. "Will's going to be famous and make lots of money. Just like Jack Jones." "Johnson," Will corrected her. "Jack Johnson." "Like I said." "Children," she looked at the assembled students, "why don't you clean up before the afternoon's classes. I'll be right in." Will tried to join the dispersing crowd, but Christy would not let him off so easily. "Will, please stay a moment." "Oh, oh, somebody's in trouble with Teacher." "That's enough, Creed. The only one in trouble will be you if you don't get washed up." Christy gave the young boy a look that sent him scampering to the water. "Will, what is the meaning of this? Surely you don't intend to enter?" Christy looked at the article a second time. "EARN $50 FOR 30 MINUTES WORK." It announced an upcoming boxing competition in El Pano. Although some of the facts and rules were foreign to Christy, she understood that it promised $5 for each round a contestant advanced. She knew that small amount represented a small fortune to the people of these mountains, and $50 was more than many families would earn all year. But boxing. Christy was more than aware of the dangers of the sport. But the young man in front of her was determined. "Just think of it, Miz Christy. All that money. And all I gotta do is stand up fer three minutes. I kin do that." "Boxing is dangerous, Will. You could be seriously hurt." "Ah, 'tain't nothin'. I'll be okay." "And what about your schoolwork?" "I kin do both, Miz Christy. Honest." Christy saw that the other children had finished washing their hands and were starting to form a circle around her and Will. Reluctantly, she said "You'd best clean up, Will. We'll talk about this after school." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 5 Summary: David and Alice weigh in on Will's decision Author: Greer ******************************* Christy strolled down the hill to the mission house, still distressed from her talk with Will. She spied David in the side yard near the bunkhouse demonstrating boxing stances to her young pupil. So engaged were they in their activity, they failed to notice her approach. "Good afternoon, gentlemen," she greeted them. "Christy," David acknowledged her presence. "Miz Christy," Will replied sheepishly. David continued giving instructions to Will as Christy observed in silence. After a few moments, she spoke up. "David, may I see you for a moment?" "What?" He looked around, surprised to see her still standing there. "Of course." To Will he said, "Just continue working on your footwork until I come back. Remember, footwork is the most important part of boxing." Christy started to walk away, and David fell in stride next to her. When they were out of earshot, she asked, "What do you think you are doing?" David's head jerked around in surprise. "Will asked me to teach him to box. I'm not a trainer by any means, but I boxed some in high school and even a bit in seminary." The thought of future preachers engaged in pugilism struck Christy as ironic, but she let it pass. "David, do you know why Will wants to learn to box?" David shrugged. "He wants to enter some sort of competition in El Pano in a couple of months." "Aren't you the least concerned about the example you are setting for the children? We are trying to teach them the futility of feuding and fighting and here you are helping Will learn to fight." "Boxing isn't fighting. It's a sport, Christy. Boxing is all about strategy and tactics." "It seems to me it is about beating someone's head. David, he could be killed!" "That's why I agreed to teach him," David said, trying to sound reassuring. "He's determined to do this. I either give him a chance to do well or I let him enter the ring with no training whatsoever. Which would you have me do?" Without answering, Christy turned on her heel and stormed away. Entering the mission house, she slammed the door and flung her books onto the dining room table. Alice sat at the far end of the table, shucking peas. In the two months since her illness, she had made a near complete recovery. Now, she was anxious to resume her medical and spiritual rounds to the outlying communities. "I take it thee had a difficult day at school?" she asked in her even, measured voice. "I don't know what to do." Christy's head shook with frustration. She briefly explained the situation, including her inability to talk Will out of entering the boxing match. "And what's worse," she concluded, "David has agreed to help him. For nearly two years, I have worked to convince these children that their future lies in education. And now Will is ready to throw it all away. I just don't understand it. Has nothing I've done here mattered?" "Christy, I think thee is being a bit hasty. I do not see Will Beck throwing away his education." "Miss Alice, I can't believe that you of all people approve of what he's doing," Christy said in astonishment. "I do not," Alice replied sharply. "Quakers do not believe in violence, and I can see no benefit that comes from inflicting injury on another in the name of sport. However," Alice drew out the word, "while I may not approve of Will's actions, I do understand them." "What do you mean?" Christy inquired. "I need not remind you of the destitution in this Cove. Even five or ten dollars represents more money than many families can expect to see in a season. Surely the allure of fortune is enough to attract the attention of a headstrong young man such as Will Beck." "But what about his education?" "Has Will indicated he will no longer attend school?" "Well, no," Christy admitted. Alice returned to the pile of peas. "Then your concern lies with Will's actions, rather than their affect on his schoolwork. Miss Huddleston, I suggest thee not dwell on this matter. There are some things thee simply cannot control. The impetuous actions of a determined young man is one of them, as thee must surely know," Alice said with a knowing smile. Instantly, however, her tone turned serious. "In any event, I would venture that the lessons Will learns from this experience will be more memorable than any thee could teach him." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 6 Summary: Christy celebrates a special day Author: Greer ******************************* Christy eyed herself in the mirror as she put up her hair. Today, May 4, 1913, she turned twenty years old. Did she look twenty? She almost pinched herself. She didn't feel any different. She recalled as a child gazing at "older women," wondering what she would look like at their age. She smiled. Now she was a woman -- no longer a girl, but a woman. Christy wondered if anyone else would remember her birthday. Last year, she had celebrated her first birthday in Cutter Gap with little fuss. It seemed such a long time ago. She carefully placed the last pin in the roll of hair, snatched a final glance in the mirror, and headed down the stairs. The start of school was still an hour away, but she preferred to arrive well before the children. Those precious moments allowed her to focus, to concentrate, to prepare herself for what always was a long, if rewarding, day. As Christy opened the front door of the mission house, she was taken aback by a familiar face. "Ah, Christy. I thought I might catch you here before school. On your way now, are ya?" "Doctor MacNeill," she said formally. "What brings you to the mission so early in the morning?" "I wanted to tell you that Becky O'Teale won't be in school for a few days." "Oh no! Have her eyes become worse?" "No, nothing like that. She hurt her ankle running home yesterday. Nothing too serious. I prescribed rest, tho' I'll wager she'll be running around again in no time." "Thank you for telling me, Doctor." Christy wondered why Neil had come all the way to the mission to give her a message that Becky's siblings could have delivered equally well. "Well, I'd best be getting to school. We can't have the teacher being late." "Well, there is one other thing." "Yes," she prodded. He took a few steps toward his horse and reached into his saddlebags. "I brought you a present. For your birthday." He brought out a square, flat package with the most beautiful wrapping Christy had seen. Wherever had he found the paper, with its bright pink and green flowers and pink ribbon? She took the gift from his hands. "Thank you. This is certainly unexpected." Neil looked at her impatiently. "Are you not going to open it?" "Of course." Christy placed her books on the porch and, ever so gently, unfurled the paper. Her eyes opened wide upon seeing the gift. "Do you like it?" "Oh Neil, it's beautiful." In her hands lay an exquisitely crocheted ivory-colored shawl. As she fingered the delicate garment, she marveled at the silky feel of the thread, of the intricate design. The finest ladies in Asheville would be honored to wear it on their Sunday strolls. Neil could never have purchased this anywhere near Cutter Gap. "I know it's a bit out of place here, but I wanted you to have something, well, something for a lady." Christy blushed slightly as she pulled the shawl around her shoulders. Although it provided scant protection from the crisp morning air, as she put it on she actually felt like a lady, even here in the mountains. Once again, the doctor seemed to have read her mind. "Thank you. I love it." "Well, I'd best be going. I have more than a few patients to see." Neil quickly remounted his horse. "Oh, Neil." Christy called after him. He turned around expectantly. "Ruby Mae is fixing dinner this evening. Would you care to join us?" "I'd be delighted. Until this evening, then. Good day, Reverend." Christy had not seen David approach from his bunkhouse. She stood sheepishly, the shawl still around her shoulders and wrapping paper in her hands. "I suppose I am a little late with birthday wishes," David said after the Doctor had departed. "And my gift. Wait here." He retreated to his cabin and a minute later emerged with a small package, simply wrapped in plain brown paper "This is for you. Happy Birthday, Christy." "Oh, David. I don't know what to say." "Don't say anything until you open it." She hurriedly tore off the wrapping to reveal a small, well-worn Bible covered in brown leather. As she carefully opened the cover, she saw the inscription in spidery writing, "Edith Mae Walker - June 8, 1861." "It belonged to my grandmother. My mother's mother. She died a few years ago and my mother sent this to me." "It's lovely and very special. But, David this belongs to you, to your family. I can't accept it." She started to hand the Bible back to David. "Don't worry Christy. This is just a birthday gift, nothing more. It will mean a great deal to me if you accept it." Christy smiled. "I couldn't ask for a more perfect gift." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 7 Summary: Christy's birthday dinner; a stranger arrives in the Cove Author: Greer ******************************* What a day it had been, Christy reflected as she prepared for dinner. The children had remembered her birthday as well. “Happy Birthday, Miss Christy” stared at her from the chalkboard when she entered the schoolroom. Not only had her students been specially prepared for their lessons, each child had brought her a small gift. Rob Allen had carved her a wooden cross. Creed Allen had given her one of his prized toads. Zady Spencer had quilted a small pillow, and Clara and Lulu brought a gingerbread loaf. And Mountie O'Teale had created a small bouquet from some local wildflowers. How she treasured these many kindnesses. Alice, too, had given her a book of poetry before embarking on her bi-monthly trip to Cataleechee. Of course, her parents had sent her their warm wishes and more than a few presents. Some she truly needed, such as new clothing and shoes. She noted with appreciation that her mother had chosen more practical dresses than Christy had brought with her when she first came to the mission. Even the shoes seemed sturdier. Her mother had learned much during her visit. At times like this, she missed her family and the way they always celebrated special events. "Miss Christy, Miss Christy." Ruby Mae called her to dinner. Fairlight had helped Ruby Mae prepare Christy's birthday dinner of chicken, potatoes, vegetables and even apple pie for dessert. Christy, David, and Neil sat around the table enjoying their food. "This is wonderful Ruby Mae," Christy said, with a knowing look at Fairlight. "Are you sure you two won't join us?" "No, ma'am," Fairlight answered, as she and Ruby Mae cleared the dinner dishes and set down plates filled with slices of pie. "We bes' be gettin' things cleaned up in here. You jes' enjoy yerself." The two women retreated to the kitchen. Neil turned to David. "So Reverend, I hear you're giving boxing lessons to Will Beck? Getting him ready to enter the all-comers, are you?" "Doing my best. Will has some natural talent. But I must admit that it's a lot to teach in such a short time." "I was over at the Becks the other day. From what I saw, he's making progress, I'll grant you that." "Don't tell me you agree that the boxing competition is a good idea?" Christy directed her question at Neil. Neil paused in mid-bite, glanced sharply at Christy, and resumed chewing his food. When finished, he said slowly, "I know what Will is trying to do." "You mean earn money for his family." "Yes," Neil said slowly. "But that's not all." "What else is there?" Christy said evenly. Neil did not answer immediately. Having finished his dinner, he brought out his pipe from his coat pocket and painstakingly began to fill it with tobacco. Only when he had taken his first drag did he direct his attention again to Christy. "I'm not sure how best to explain it. Up here on these mountains, there is no government to speak of. So, the men use other means to establish authority. The feuding is part of it. So are the hunts -- who is the better shot, or better horseman, or who takes more game. You have seen it for yourself, Christy -- the fights among children at school, for instance. The Becks are not a respected clan in the Cove. However, if Will were to do well in El Pano, it might change opinion around here." "But these people respect you. And that respect is based on what you know, not how well you shoot or hunt or box. That's why this mission was established -- to provide these children with an education so they don't have to use their -- their fists -- to get ahead." Neil leaned back in his chair and smiled. "I'll have you know that as a young man I was quite good with a rifle. And I may not have done much boxing, but I wrestled many a young man to the ground." He took another long drag on his pipe. "Seriously, Christy, the respect I get has been hard earned over many years, one day at a time, one patient at a time. I think you would have been rather surprised to see the reaction I received when I first came back here as a doctor. Even now, some people won't let me treat them, and others don't accept my advice when they do." He included David in his gaze. "I know you two came here to change the world, or at least this small corner of it," he said with a wry grin. "But there are things you canna change right away." "Doctor, if we didn't believe we could change things, we wouldn't be here," David asserted. "I realize that. But I needn't tell you that change here comes slowly. Sometimes painfully so." **** The final weeks of the school year were busy ones for Christy. The combination of excellent weather and the impending summer break distracted the children from their schoolwork. Christy had not seen Neil in several weeks and feared he might have forgotten his promise to give yet another presentation to her class. However, once again he did not disappoint. His lectures always fascinated the children and, despite his declarations to the contrary, Christy had long ago decided he was a natural teacher. Today, using his microscope and a crystal clear glass of water, he had tried to underscore the invisible nature of germs. After dismissing the children, Christy accompanied Neil to his horse. “Thank you again. I don’t know how you do it. The children are always so entranced by your lectures. I only hope it did some good.” “It's a start. There's still a long way to go.” Christy and Neil understood the uphill battle they waged. Epidemic diseases swept through the mountains precisely because people did not fully comprehend their transmission. They both knew it would require ongoing efforts to convince the younger generation of the need for good hygiene and sanitation. Neil threw his saddlebags over his horse. "Christy," he started awkwardly, "we have not had much to say to each other since -- Margaret died. I've missed that." Christy surprised him with her response. "So have I." "Margaret's death, was-- difficult. I needed time to myself. I should have explained. To you, I mean." "No explanations were necessary, Doctor," Christy replied quickly. "You had every right to grieve for your wife in the manner you saw fit." Neil was thoughtful for a moment as he unhitched the horse's reins from the groundpost. Instead of mounting, he turned back to Christy. "I wonder. That day you came to my cabin, when Margaret was there. What did you mean to say to me?" A faraway look came into Christy's eyes as she remembered that morning. She had been so determined, so full of purpose. Yet, the instant she saw Neil embracing Margaret, her resolve had melted. Neil was right, nothing had been the same between them since that day, a day that now seemed so long ago. "Actually, it all started with Fairlight," she said with a smile. "Fairlight?" Neil sounded perplexed. "What has she got to do with it?" Christy was not yet ready to discuss that conversation with Neil. Instead, she said, "I wanted to talk with you about-- my feelings." "About what?" "About you. And other things," she added quickly, "How do you feel? About me?" Christy hated it when Neil was so direct. "Well, I respect you as a doctor. And I admire what you do for the children." She could see from Neil's pained expression that this was not the answer he sought. "That's a fine endorsement. But it's not what I asked." The difficult and frustrating conversations with the doctor were back. Christy struggled to meet his gaze. "I don't know what to think. Sometimes you seem to know me better than I know myself. That can be frustrating. But other times, I just don't understand --" In the distance, they heard an unfamiliar sound -- the methodic hoof-clap of a horse-drawn carriage. Although still a long way off, Christy knew it must be headed for the mission. She was surprised -- neither Miss Alice nor David had mentioned visitors. Perhaps her parents? Christy did not think so. She had received a letter from them only a few days ago -- they would surely have mentioned a planned visit. Christy was only too happy for an excuse to interrupt this line of talk. “I wonder who that could be,” she mused. “I don’t know,” Neil answered. Curious, they hurried down the hill from the schoolhouse. Alerted by the noise, Miss Alice and David had come out of the mission house to witness the commotion. The carriage, with its lone passenger, drew near. Inside was seated a young woman. When the carriage stopped, she descended while the driver set about unloading two small bags. The woman was perhaps several years older than Christy and much taller, with an appearance that might be called attractive, but not beautiful. Her auburn red hair was tied neatly into a small bun. Her pale face exuded a natural ruddiness, yet showed no evidence of prolonged exposure to the sun. She had piercing green eyes and tapered hands that suggested a refinement that came from having others do manual labor. Her clothes were tailored, probably expensive, but understated. A city woman. Christy noticed the stranger staring at her. No, not at her, but at Neil, who had come to stand next to her. Suddenly, the woman rushed up to the doctor and threw her arms around him. "Neil." It was a statement more than a question. "It has certainly been too long." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 8 Summary: The stranger's identity is revealed Author: Greer ******************************* After a short embrace, Neil released the newcomer. "I suppose I should explain," he told the assembled audience. "This is Anna MacNeill Thornton, my sister." "Neil, your accent!" Anna exclaimed. "Wherever did you pick that up? Your schooling in Scotland, I'll wager." Noticing the incredulous expressions on the faces in front of her, she laughed softly. "I take it Neil never told you he had a sister." "No, he didn't," David said pointedly. Alice was the first fully to recover from the shock. "Mrs. Thornton, I am sure thee would like to come inside out of the hot sun." "Please, it's Anna," she responded pleasantly. "And, yes, I'd be delighted. It's been a long journey." The group was soon settled in the parlor of the mission house. Christy distributed glasses of lemonade as Neil made the necessary introductions. Anna gazed intently at each person, as if memorializing their features. "Mrs. Henderson, Neil wrote me about Margaret's death. I am so sorry for your loss." "Thank you," Alice said softly. David broke into the strained silence. "Anna, you obviously aren't from around here." "Oh heavens no. I haven't lived here since I was -- well, maybe I'd better let Neil tell the story." She looked at her brother as if they shared some private joke. The twinkle in Neil's eye bespoke his amusement. "Now that Anna has piqued your curiosity, I don't see as I have much choice in the matter." He leaned back in his chair, fervently wishing for his pipe. "There's little to tell. When I was ten, our mother died in childbirth. The child," Neil nodded at his sister, "Anna, survived." He paused briefly, as if recalling the moment. "My father could not raise an infant on his own, and I was too young to help. So, when Anna was only a few days old, he took her to Aunt Hattie. With three children of her own, caring for another was no problem. Anna stayed there for two years, until the typhus epidemic. All of Hattie's children were stricken, and my father thought it best to send Anna away for a while." Neil took a slow slip of his lemonade. "Our mother's sister, Edna, lived in Virginia. She was married to an attorney named Jason -- an aspiring politician, if I'm not mistaken." Neil exchanged a sly glance with his sister. "They had no children and were willing to care for Anna. Our father intended to send for her. But his heart ailed him, and he died not much later. Edna and Jason insisted Anna was better off with them than with a fourteen-year-old boy, and I had to agree. Eventually, they adopted Anna as their own." "Did you ever see each other?" Christy asked. "Once." Anna picked up the story. "When I was about eight, Neil passed through on his way to medical school. When he came to our door, I didn't recognize him, of course, but I heard his name and knew it was my brother. I don't think that my aunt was too keen on my seeing him. I cried for days after she sent him away." "Why would she do that?" David asked incredulously. "I don't know. It was a long time ago." "I tried again on my way back from Scotland," Neil added. "Nearly ten years later. But Anna had left for Europe, or so they told me." "I was in France studying drawing and painting" Anna interjected. "To finish the story, when I came home, I married John Thornton. He's a banker from Richmond, which is where I live. Neil and I write each other every so often and even exchange a few pictures -- I guess that's how he recognized me," she said, grinning slightly. "So, to what do we owe this visit after all these years?" Neil voiced the question that was on the tip of everyone's tongue. "To see you of course," Anna replied. "I thought it was about time. And," she added, "I hope to do some sketching while I'm here. I've done scenes from local mountain communities, mostly around Virginia. I thought it would be interesting to sketch the area where I was born." "I take it thy husband was not able to come with thee?' Alice inquired. "No. He is very busy with his work." This time, it was Neil who broke the awkward silence. "Anna, you must be tired from your journey. I've no doubt rest is in order." He looked around. "I suppose you can stay with me, though I can't promise lavish accommodations." "I'm sure it's fine, Neil. I'm excited about finally seeing the cabin where I was born." Alice smiled. "If things get too -- rustic, we always have room here at the mission." Anna laughed. "I'll keep that in mind." "Reverend, do you think we might borrow one of the horses for a few days?" Neil asked. "That is, if you ride, Anna." "I haven't ridden a horse since we bought our ca--" Anna wanted to kick herself. The last thing she needed to do was flaunt her own comfortable lifestyle in front of people who had sacrificed so much to live here. "I haven't ridden in a few years," she hastily corrected, "but I am sure it will come back to me soon enough." Outside, David saddled Theo, and Neil, after retrieving his own horse from the yard outside the school, helped his sister mount. As Anna climbed into the saddle, her body twisted awkwardly, resulting in a sharp grimace. Neil's medical instincts were instantly alert. "Is something painful?" "No, no, I'm fine," Anna reassured him. "It's been awhile since I've done this." She eased herself onto the horse's back and carefully maneuvered the large animal, her smooth actions belying any hint of rustiness in her horsemanship. As she watched them ride off, Christy turned to David and Alice. "Surely, the people here must have known about Anna. Yet no one ever mentioned her. I wonder why." "I expect they respected his privacy," Alice suggested. "Then too, she hasn't been around here for what -- nearly 25 years," David added, then posed his own question. "Did anyone else think her story seemed a little odd? I wonder why she really came back now." "That is indeed an interesting question," answered Alice thoughtfully. ******************************** Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 9 Summary: Anna sees Neil's cabin; Will tastes first blood Author: Greer ******************************** Neil set a slow pace toward his cabin, mindful of his sister's recent inexperience in riding. Anna felt enveloped by her surroundings as she rode along the well-worn path. The trees were in full bloom, frequently forcing her to duck under overhanging branches. A gentle breeze and the shade of the trees kept her relatively cool. Since leaving the mission, Anna had seen no signs of civilization except for an occasional cabin in the distance. In her youth, she had ridden along similar trails in Virginia, but this rustic terrain was a community. She tried to imagine herself living here and just as quickly banished the thought. A noise in the brush startled her, and she grabbed her horse's reins more tightly. Seeing her reaction, Neil chuckled. "It's just a raccoon or an opossum. There are more than a few 'round the cabin. You'll get used to them scurrying about." "Of course. I suppose that I will." But she did not immediately ease up on her reins. They continued to ride in silence. As they neared the cabin, Neil looked over his shoulder at his sister. "So, forgetting all that nonsense back at the mission, why did you come to Cutter Gap?" "I came to see you. We haven't seen each other since I was a baby. Isn't that enough?" she asked impatiently. "Of course. I'll admit I was surprised, what with no letter or telegram." "Let's say it was a last-minute decision." "Well, this is it," Neil exclaimed as he ushered Anna into his home. He fervently wished he had been given some warning of her arrival. Although meticulous in his medical care, he was almost slovenly in his housekeeping. Three consecutive nights of calls had not helped the situation. As Anna explored the cabin, Neil sprinted about, picking up strewn clothing, unwashed cooking utensils, and half-filled medicine bottles. Anna appeared not to notice the chaos or her brother's antics. From the moment she entered the cabin, she had not spoken a word. Instead, she slowly worked her way around the interior, minutely examining every object. Her fingers brushed against the wood walls and furniture, leaving thin lines in the accumulated dust. She paused only when she reached the pictures that hung above her brother's desk. "Who are these men?" "They are the doctors who sent me to medical school." Anna remembered Neil describing them at length in his letters. She resumed her tour of the cabin, finally reaching locked room. "What's in here?" "It's my laboratory, where I do my research." Anna's eyes again swept around the cabin. "We were very lucky, the two of us. Born here, in this cabin, we could easily have ended up with nothing." "Yes, I suppose we were." "I can see now why it was difficult for Margaret -- for a city girl like her. I think it would take a special person to come here to these mountains -- and stay," she added. "That it does," Neil replied thoughtfully. **** Thud. Thud. Thud, thud. The body-sized, hay-stuffed bag hanging precariously from the stable rafters was taking quite a pounding. Thud. The bag swung back toward a determined Will Beck. Thud. "Good. Try to time it. Jab, jab, and then punch." David called out instructions to the young man circling his inanimate opponent. David had to admit that Will had been a devoted student, seeking instruction and honing his skills at every available moment. However, family chores demanded a lion's share of the young man's free time. On more than one occasion, David found Will dozing off during the morning scripture lesson. Most of the time, David had not the heart to disturb him. Will thrust his arms at the inert bag several more times, then whirled on David in frustration. "All this hittin' a bag ain't real fightin, Reverend. You said you'd teach me some real fightin'. "Will, you first have to learn the basics before you can start sparring. I told you, this is how all the real boxers learn." "But I ain't gettin' better jes' hittin' at this here bag." "Yes, you are, David replied patiently. "Anyone can throw punches. When they run into someone faster, or stronger, or just better, they get hurt. You want to make it through as many rounds as you can, don't you?" Will nodded. "Then you have to concentrate on footwork, and timing, and defense. The hitting will come naturally." "I dunno," Will said dubiously. "All right. If you want to do some sparring, let's do it now." "Now?" Will asked. "Me 'n you?" "You and me," David confirmed. He tugged off his shirt and pulled on an extra pair of gloves as Will looked on with a combination of excitement and trepidation. Finally, David was ready. "Let's go." The two men warily circled each other. David let the younger man throw the initial punches. At first, Will remembered his jab. The more skilled fighter, David was able to avoid most of the blows, letting a few slide off his chin. However, Will soon forgot his training and began to throw wild, roundhouse punches that David easily sidestepped. Soon, Will found himself hopelessly out of position, flailing with his arms while his feet became twisted underneath him. David chose that moment to throw his first punch. Although not thrown with much force, the blow landed cleanly on Will's jaw, causing him to stagger backward. Recovering quickly, Will closed on David, again swinging with abandon. This time, David threw several jabs, each of which connected with the young boxer's chin. "Ugh, ugh, ugh." Will grunted with each blow. "Had enough?" David asked. "Let's go, Preacher," Will challenged him again. "Remember your form," David tried to coach, while at the same time dodging punches. He took a glancing blow to the head then, seeing an opening, hit Will squarely in the stomach. As the boy doubled over, David rapped him gently on the chin with an uppercut. Although the punch was not particularly hard or painful, Will realized that David could have inflicted much more serious damage. He dropped his hands and hung his head. "You always have to protect against the body punch," David warned. Noting that Will was physically exhausted and emotionally drained, he added, "I think that's enough for today." "I guess I gotta lot more to learn, don't I, Preacher," said a subdued Will. David took a deep breath. "We still have about a month. If you work hard, you can do it." David prayed his words were prophetic. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 10 Summary: Anna meets the children Author: Greer ******************************** When she arrived at school in the morning, Christy was surprised to find Anna there, sketchbook in hand. The young woman stood with her back to the door, perusing the children's drawings posted along the walls. Christy coughed gently to announce her presence. "Oh, hello, Christy," Anna said self-consciously, turning around. "I hope you don't mind my dropping by. Last night, Neil talked so much about you, the school, and the work you have done with the children. I just had to see for myself." "Not at all. I'm delighted. I hope you'll stay and meet the children." "I wouldn't miss it." Anna pointed to a large sheet of paper hanging from the wall. "What is this?" she asked. "That's the latest edition of the 'Cutter Gap Gazette,'" Christy explained proudly. "It's a newspaper the children started. Once a month, they collect stories from around the Cove and write them up in newspaper form. We don't publish of course," Christy smiled, "but the parents can read this when they come to church on Sunday." "The stories are so -- different." "I'm sure our news doesn't compete with what you get in Richmond," Christy replied defensively, "but it's a wonderful activity for the children." "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to criticize," Anna said hastily. "It's a great idea. It's just that I've never lived in such a -- rural community. It takes some getting used to -- no electricity or running water, especially. Neil said you're from Asheville. How did you adjust, coming here from a big city?" Christy smiled. "It hasn't always been easy. There are days when I long for a hot soaking tub or sweet chocolates, or my mother's cooking. But you get used to it, after a sort." She paused as she looked around the schoolroom. "God called me to teach these children, and I can't imagine anything else I'd rather do." As Christy's gazed settled on Anna's sketchbook, an idea came to her. "As long as you're here, I was wondering if you might be willing to talk to the children about art. I'm sure they'd be fascinated and I must admit that it's not my strongest subject." "I'd love to, although you may never get me to stop talking." Before she could say more, the children started to arrive. They bounded in chattering noisily, but the sight of a stranger silenced them instantly. Christy decided to keep them in suspense for a few additional minutes until she had their undivided attention. Finally, they stopped whispering and settled in their seats. "Children, we are very lucky to have a special guest today. This is Mrs. Thornton, Dr. MacNeill's sister." "A sister? A real sister?" "Didn't know Doc had no sister." "I ain't never seen her before." "Where's she been all this time?" "Reckon she come back from the dead, too?" The announcement created a buzz among the students, as Christy knew it would. "Children, children, quiet or we won't be able to get started." She waited for their voices to die down. "Mrs. Thornton is Dr. MacNeill's real sister. She went to live with her aunt in Virginia when she was very young. This is the first time she has come back to Cutter Gap." Little Burl Allen spoke out. "Is she a doctor too?" "Girls cain't be no doctors," Creed Allen chimed in. "Yes, they can, Creed," Christy corrected him. "I wouldn't want no woman doctoring me." Christy ignored Creed's retort. "Mrs. Thornton is an artist. She has studied in France. Do you all remember where France is from when we studied Europe?" Several students nodded. "I hope you all will pay close attention to what Mrs. Thornton has to say." After her introduction, without speaking a word, Anna took a piece of chalk and drew a small oval on the blackboard. More than a minute passed before she asked, "Who can guess what I am drawing?" as she continued to work with the chalk. "It's a waterfall." "No it's not; its a big tree." Soon all of the children were shouting guesses. As the image neared completion, a voice from the back called out, "a flower vase." It was Zadi Spencer. "Exactly right." Anna proclaimed, putting the final touches on her drawing. Then, erasing and redrawing small sections, she demonstrated how the slightest variations could change the context of the image. As Anna talked, Christy slowly backed out of the schoolroom. She was thrilled that the children were being exposed to a new subject, one in which she could provide little formal instruction. But a part of her was also jealous. She worked so hard preparing lessons to educate the children on the most basic subjects. Every day, she struggled to keep the interest and attention of over 60 children of varying ages and abilities. Yet Anna entered her classroom with no preparation and, in minutes, had the children totally immersed and engaged. Just like a certain other MacNeill she knew. "Ack!" Christy exclaimed as she felt something touch her spine. Neil had grabbed her waist from behind. "Watch out, Miss Huddleston," he mocked gently. "Keep going and you're liable to fall off the steps." "I'm sorry. You frightened me." "My apologies," he said with a distinct lack of sincerity as he released her. "I came to check on Anna," he explained. "She told me she might visit this morning." "We had a chance to talk before the children arrived. I like her very much," Christy confided. "I imagine it's difficult for you, getting to know each other after all these years." "At times, I wish my father or I had sent for her, so she would have grown up here. But I see how she turned out -- I don't know that we could have done better." "Watching her, it's hard to believe she was born here." "I think she finds it hard to believe herself." Neil glanced into the classroom. "I see you have kidnapped Anna as a lecturer for your class." "Yes, and they love her. Teaching must run in your family. It's a little discouraging." Neil eyed her critically. "Let's take a walk." he said abruptly. "I can't leave the children," she protested. "We won't go far. I expect Anna will keep them occupied for a few more minutes." They had gone only a few paces when Neil resumed their discussion. "You mustn't be discouraged, Christy. Anyone can excite the children for an hour with a magic trick. The real challenge is teaching them every day. That is what will make a real difference in their lives." "I sometimes feel like I'm not making progress," Christy complained. "Some of the children don't know their math tables, and we've been studying them for weeks. Too many of them still can't read properly, or write, and their grammar is still terriblel--" "Whoa, Christy. The children are improving. I've seen it myself." "I know they are. And each small improvement is so wonderful to see. But I want so much for these children, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to make it happen." Neil looked her straight in the eye. "If there is one thing I've learned about progress in these mountains is that it is a marathon, not a dash. Success is measured in inches, not miles. Certainly you've realized that by now." "Of course. But then I think if only I knew more, if only I were a better teacher--" "And what if you were not here at all?" ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 11 Summary: Anna and Alice do lunch; Neil makes a startling discovery Author: Greer ******************************** A short time later, Anna found herself seated at the mission's dining room table, halfway through her second helping of hearty potato soup. She had spent nearly two hours with the children and had been surprised how quickly the time had passed. Alice had discovered her talking with Neil outside the school and invited them to join her for lunch. After only a few moments under the scorching noon sun, Anna looked forward to the relative cool of the mission house. Neil begged off, saying he had calls to make, but insisted his sister stay. As her spoon scraped the bottom of her bowl, Alice asked, "So, Anna, has Cutter Gap been all thee expected?" "I'm not sure what I expected, exactly," Anna answered honestly. "I have no doubt it is a far cry from thy surroundings in Virginia." "It surely is. I just keep wondering what, how--" "Thee keeps wondering what thy life would have been like if thee had been raised here, rather than in the city with your aunt," Alice finished for her. Anna marveled at the older woman's perception. "Yes. I see Neil, how he turned out. He's more wonderful than I imagined," she gushed. "But then I look at the children and think I might have been one of them. No money, inadequate clothing, shacks for houses--" Her voice trailed off, as the mental images of the past days filled her thoughts. "And thee feels guilty because thee was spared these hardships." Alice interrupted her musings. "Yes, in a way I suppose I do. But hardships come in many forms," Anna added, a curious look on her face. She pushed her empty soup bowl off to the side. "They do indeed." "It's more than that, though. Watching the children at school today, I saw a sense of family and community. In a strange way, I wish I had been part of that." Anna brushed a wisp of hair from her forehead. "And then there's Neil. I wish I could have grown up with him as my brother," she proclaimed wistfully. "Miss Anna, recent events have convinced me of the futility of mourning for things I cannot change." "Your daughter's death," Anna said softly. Alice looked down at the remnants of her bread. Absently, she picked up a small piece, studied it, then set it back down on her plate. "I wasted so many precious days with Margaret. I fought against her -- against the person she had become. Only after she died did I understand that she was the person God intended her to be." She took a deep breath. "I could never change her, and trying --- my attempts only served to make both of us unhappy." "You obviously loved her very much," Anna said compassionately. "Losing your only child must have been a severe test of your faith." "Faith is a constant struggle. It is rarely easy." Alice touched her hand to her lips. "It is true that my faith has been tested these past months. Each day, I pray for the strength to endure and the wisdom to understand." "How, Miss Alice?" Anna asked plaintively. "How do you believe in a loving and merciful God when so much misery surrounds you?" "As thee has found, there is also great joy and love in these mountains." She paused. "We must have the faith to trust in Him, even when it is difficult." "I can see you have that faith, Miss Alice. Listening to you makes me believe." "It is not I, Anna, in whom you must believe." **** After lunch, Alice left to attend to a new mother on the far side of the Cove, and Anna set about sketching near the mission. She had already seen the distraction her presence caused and did her best to remain out of sight of the children. However, as their cries and laughter filled the late spring air, she could not resist surreptitiously capturing their energetic antics in the tips of her charcoal. With a last look across the fields, Anna placed her sketchbook and pencils in her satchel. She wanted to remain near the mission until the last possible moment to sketch the sun setting low over the mountains, but worried that she would be unfamiliar with the trails in the dark. Besides, Neil had warned her of the dangers of traveling alone at night in these hills. It was dusk by the time Anna wound her way back to her brother's cabin. A pair of wet waders and a fishing pole rested haphazardly against the porch railing, and the pungent odor of fish escaped from the cabin door. She had little doubt how her brother had spent his afternoon. Neil waited patiently as she brought Theo to a stop in the clearing outside. "It's good you're back before dark," he greeted her. "No doubt you had a busy day," he added heartily, reaching up to help her dismount. "Yes, after lunch I --" As Neil tugged on her waist, she let out a small cry of pain. "You're hurt," Neil said, his voice filled with concern. "Have you taken a spill off the horse? I knew I shouldn't have let you ride--" "No, I didn't fall." Anna allowed her brother to lower her to the ground. "What then? Shall I have a look at you?" His eyes remained glued to her face. "Neil, can you stop being a doctor for one minute," Anna replied irritably, smoothing out her dress. "Nothing is wrong," she insisted. "I'm just a little sore from riding." She could see Neil was not convinced. "A city girl like me isn't used to all this exercise." "And what about that bruise on your face?" Anna instinctively raised her hand to the underside of her jaw. She didn't think anyone had noticed. "It's--" Without a word, Neil reached down for her right hand and pushed back the sleeve of her dress. What he saw sent a shudder through his body. ************************************** DISCLAIMER: The story and characters of Christy are owned by the LeSourd family. This work of fan fiction is for personal amusement only and is not intended to infringe on any of those rights. The writer does not seek to profit in any way from this story. Any additions of characters or story lines were invented by the writer. *************************************************** ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Subject: FANFIC: Crisis of Courage, Part 12 Resent-Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 03:50:36 +0800 Resent-From: christy@gospel.iinet.net.au Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 11:50:18 PST From: "Greer Lautrup" Reply-To: christy@gospel.iinet.net.au To: christy@gospel.iinet.net.au A special Tuesday edition of CoC! However, due to the holiday, I won't be posting another part until Monday morning. Happy Thanksgiving! ********************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 12 Summary: Anna reveals a secret Author: Greer ********************************* Anna jerked her hand away from his grasp. "I said it was nothing. I didn't come here to have you inspect me. Please leave me alone." She stomped into the cabin. Neil followed her stride for stride. "Good Lord, woman! What has happened to you?" "I must have run into some branches while riding," she called over her shoulder. "I think not. Those marks are days old. How many others are there?" Neil was practically shouting as he moved towards her. "Please Neil, don't," Anna pleaded, turning around to face him. She backed herself into his overstuffed chair. "He didn't mean to." Her voice was almost a whisper. Neil stopped short as he took in the meaning of his sister's words. He lowered his voice, but his tone remained insistent. "He's hit you, hasn't he?" Anna leaned forward in the chair, her head in her hands. Neil's fists balled tightly at his sides, as he fought for control. The only sounds were the irreverent chirping of insects outside the door and windows and the whimpers from Anna within. After a moment, Neil crossed the few steps to the chair and knelt down in front of his sister, using his hands to pull hers away from her face. "Anna, please," he said gently. "You're safe here. Tell me what happened. Let me help you." A large tear rolled down her cheek. She could not meet her brother's eyes. "John is a good man, really he is," she sobbed. "I don't know what happened. My friend Celia brought over her little baby. He was so cute, and I held him and fed him. I want a baby of my own so badly." She was unable to hold back more tears as Neil gently stroked her hair. "I get so lonely. When he came home, I told him I wanted a baby. He said we couldn't afford one now. We started arguing." Anna sniffed and shook her head. "He grabbed me and I pulled away, and he--" "He hit you." Neil finished softly. "The scoundrel," he added under his breath. "He pushed me, and I hit the wall. He didn't mean to. It was an accident." "Of course he meant to." "No," she pleaded with him. "John loves me. He doesn't mean to hurt me. He'd had a bad day at work, and he was tired, and talking about babies makes him angry, and I shouldn't have-- oh!" Anna gasped and grabbed her side as her attempt to take a deep breath resulted in a sharp pain. Neil pushed away her hand and gently felt along the left side of her ribcage, causing her to stifle another cry. He shook his head in frustration. "Did you see a doctor about these injuries?" Anna looked panicked. "No, I couldn't. It's not that bad." Neil sighed heavily. He could see that his sister was physically and emotionally exhausted. "We'll see about that." He stood and reached down to help her out of the chair. "You won't tell anyone will you?" she asked plaintively as she gingerly stood up. "About me that is." Anna saw him hesitate. "Promise me, Neil. Please." Neil reluctantly nodded his agreement as he helped her climb the cabin stairs. Later that evening, Neil sat alone smoking his pipe. His examination had revealed two, possibly three, fractured ribs. Anna was lucky that one had not punctured a lung. He did not know how she had withstood these past days -- the pain of riding must have been excruciating. He had bandaged her ribs, encouraged her to eat a light meal, and given her a sedative to help her sleep. It was all he could do for now. Rest was the best medicine for her tired and broken body. Despite her protestations to the contrary, Neil was certain that this was not the first incident of violence his sister had experienced. The numerous welts and bruises on her body had caused his blood to boil. How could a man do this to the woman he professed to love? And how could she defend a man who beat her? Anna had refused to volunteer more that night, and he had not pressed her. There would be time to unravel the truth in the days to come. **** Neil insisted Anna rest in bed, knowing that strenuous activity would prevent her ribs from healing. The first day, she was only too willing to comply. The combination of the previous day's ride, a steady downpour, and another of Neil's injections made sleep inviting. She was dimly aware of knocks on the cabin door. Patients, she assumed. The sound of voices, combined with the scraping of chairs and tinkle of bottles told her Neil was providing treatment. Several times, she heard a murmur of voices followed by the sound of the cabin door closing. She recognized that the resulting silence meant that Neil had departed. Darkness had settled over the Cove when he looked in on her. "How are you feeling?" he asked solicitously. Although he remained standing across the room, his physician's eyes searched for any change in his sister's condition. "Better," she said sleepily, struggling to sit up in the bed. "It sounds like you've had a busy day." Neil shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows simultaneously. "The usual. I may need to go out again tonight. One of the McHone boys is battling a severe case of dysentery." "So many patients and only one doctor," she mused. "And everyone here is so poor. Are they able to pay you? How do you survive?" "They pay me as best they can. Food or supplies usually, money if I'm lucky. Some of my professors and men I went to medical school with send money and medical supplies. It's never easy, but I get by." "I can understand why you came back to Cutter Gap in the first place. But how do you manage in these conditions year after year? What keeps you here?" "These people -- my people -- need me." A curious look crossed his face. "And maybe it's what I need." Neil wondered if he'd spoken the last thought aloud. He concentrated intently on the far wall. "Those doctors who sent me to medical school changed the life of one poor boy. In repaying them, I can do no less." "But with your education and training, you could practice anywhere," she said bluntly. "And who would practice here?" Neil noticed his sister tiring. "That's enough talk for tonight. You need to rest, Anna. I'll look in on you again in the morning." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 13 Summary: Anna talks with Christy and David, who have their own heart-to-heart Author: Greer ******************************** The next morning dawned bright and sunny. In return for being allowed out of bed, Anna promised to stay within sight of the cabin while Neil was away on his calls. She erected a makeshift easel near the water and set to work with her pencils. A short time later, she was surprised to see a familiar face strolling up the path, a large basket in hand. "Christy," she called, "what are you doing all the way out here?" "Dr. MacNeill stopped by the mission this morning and said you would be here alone. I figured you could use some company -- and a decent meal," she added, nodding at the basket. "I've seen Neil cook," she added by way of explanation. "Did he tell you what happened to me?" Anna asked tentatively. "Something about riding aggravating an old injury," Christy replied. "I hope you're feeling better today." "Oh, much better," Anna answered, relief evident in her tone, "although I never expected to be using Neil's medical skills." Christy appeared not to hear Anna's last remark. She had already set her basket on the ground and was intently scrutinizing Anna's drawing. Although it was still in its early stages, she instantly recognized the image as Dr. MacNeill's cabin. "That's wonderful. I wish I could do half as well." "You didn't tell me you were an artist," Anna exclaimed. "I'm not. I do a little sketching sometimes." "I'd love to see your work." "It's nothing compared to yours. I wish I had such talent." "Oh, Christy, what I do is nothing," Anna said. "It means nothing. Your work here is so much more important. I never could do it." "It has been a challenge," Christy admitted. "But the children are wonderful. And the people here give me such encouragement." "And heartache," Anna said with a smile. "Neil's quite fond of you, you know." Christy stared at her for a moment. "Of course, Dr. MacNeill and I are -- friends," she stammered. "And I think he appreciates the work I do here, for the children." "No, I mean he cares for you, Christy." "Oh? Has he said something?" Christy asked, blushing slightly. "My brother is a man of few words, I needn't tell you that. But a woman knows things, especially a kid sister." Seeing Christy's reaction, Anna stopped. "I'm embarrassing you. I'm sorry." "No, not at all. Well, maybe a little," she conceded. Anna continued enthusiastically. "It's a shame Neil doesn't have children of his own. I think he'd make a wonderful father, don't you?" "Yes, of course. I mean, I've never thought about it. Like that. Exactly." Christy was sure her face must be beet red, but Anna appeared not to notice. "This morning before Neil left, Mrs. Spencer brought by her little girl. Luann, I think it was." "That must have been Lulu." Christy was thankful for the momentary change in subject. "That's it. She'd burned her arm on the stove and was crying and screaming. I watched Neil care for her. He was so gentle. These people are lucky to have him." "He is very good with the children. They like him very much. I don't know how we'd manage without him." "Christy, how long do you plan to stay here in Cutter Gap?" Anna asked abruptly. Christy gazed out across the water. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. When I came, I thought I might teach for a year or two. But, now that I'm here, I see so many things that need doing. I've only begun to make real progress. I couldn't leave now." Anna reflected on her brother's comments the night before. "It sounds to me like you intend to remain here for a very long time, Christy Huddleston." **** It was nearly a week later, and church services had just concluded. David caught up with Anna outside the church. "I'm glad you were able to join us this morning." "It was a lovely service and a wonderful sermon," Anna exclaimed. "Something about these mountains makes me feel closer to God. I only wish I could have convinced Neil to come with me." "Dr. MacNeill is not exactly a regular attendee at Sunday services," David said flatly. "The other families in the Cove must be. The church was filled. They must appreciate your preaching -- and your message." "Oh, they come to church," David said with a slight shrug. "But I'm not sure how much of a difference my sermons make. I preach against the evils that are destroying these people -- like moonshining and feuding. They come on Sunday and then go out during the week and do the very thing I've preached against. It can be disheartening." "I'm sure you've had changed more lives than you think. I know Christy has. Neil was telling me about the progress the children have made in their studies." "Has he?" David asked curtly. "What else does he say about Christy?" Anna sensed she was treading on dangerous ground. "I know he appreciates her sacrifice and the sacrifice of everyone here at the mission." "He certainly doesn't show it." David was immediately sorry he'd spoken so harshly. Anna, however, seemed not to take offense at his remark. "I think he worries about trying to change people too quickly, more quickly than they can handle. I suppose a part of that is due to his own experiences." Anna noted David's questioning look, but did not elaborate. "May I ask you something, David?" "Of course." "Do you like living and working here in Cutter Gap?" Unprepared for her question, David did not immediately respond. Instead, he gazed toward the church then at the distant mountains. "I don't know that I like it or dislike it. What do you mean exactly?" "I see the hardships of living here, how difficult it is. I just wondered how you felt about it." When David still did not answer, she added, "I'm sorry. I have no right asking such a personal question." "It's all right," David responded. "I've always believed God called me to minister to these people. This is where He has sent me to serve. Working here is my destiny more than a free choice." "Surely there are other places where you could fulfill your calling and minister to the downtrodden. You don't have to stay here in Cutter Gap. You could always leave." "I've--" "Leave, who's leaving?" Christy had approached from a distance. Noting the looks on their faces, she quickly added. "I'm sorry. Am I interrupting?" "No, not at all. I'm the one who needs to leave," Anna covered quickly. "Neil is taking me to our parents' graves this afternoon." She turned back to the minister. "It was nice talking with you, David." With a wave, Anna set off on foot, leaving David and Christy standing together. Christy glanced around to see that most of the crowd had dispersed. "Anna's nice, isn't she?" she asked pleasantly. "Yes, she is. Quite unlike her brother." "David!" "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I meant that Anna's personality is very different from Dr. MacNeill's." Christy doubted the sincerity of David's apology, but didn't press. "David, I want to thank you." "For what?" "For keeping your promise." She and David had stood in this very spot the day he had proposed. Christy recalled that a part of her had wanted desperately to accept his ring. But she knew she could not marry a man she did not love. And she had wondered if she could love a man she could not marry. In the few short hours of that fall afternoon, she had plowed through a tornado of emotional turmoil. She knew it could not continue. Even as she turned down David's proposal, she had begged him to stop courting for a time so that she could sort out her emotions. Although a part of her realized the request was not fair, she also knew she needed to rededicate herself to her own mission --teaching the children of Cutter Gap. At first, David had resisted. But she had convinced him that she had to be sure of her feelings before she married anyone and, at that moment, she was sure of nothing. "I've tried to honor your wishes, Christy. It hasn't been easy." As David looked down at her, he felt his resolve melting. "I know," she said quietly, refusing to meet his gaze. "We could always--" "No, David" she said more forcefully than she felt. "We agreed this was best." He cupped his hand under her chin and gazed into her eyes. "Is there any hope for us?" "Of course, David," she answered eagerly. "There are so many things we can do together--" "No, I mean for us, Christy, you and me." David dropped his hand. Now it was Christy's turn to seek refuge in the beauty of the mountains. "I don't know." She turned back to David. "That means no, doesn't it," David insisted. "It means I don't know," she cried in exasperation. "I still haven't--" "It's alright. You've given me your answer." David turned and slowly retreated in the direction of his bunkhouse. Only the chirping birds saw the mist form in Christy's eyes. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 14 Summary: David takes it on the chin; Neil questions Anna; the big day finally arrives! Author: Greer ******************************** It was late in the day when Neil pulled his horse into the mission house yard, passing children scampering home from school as he rode up. As he dismounted, he observed David sprawled in the rocker on the front porch. One glance had Neil grabbing for his saddlebags. David held a rag to his nose. His left eye was nearly swollen shut, and small red cuts dotted his face. He cradled his left arm against his body. "I just came from the Spencers'," Neil announced, climbing up onto the porch. "Fairlight said you might need some treatment." He set down his bags and scrutinized the young minister. "I'd say she was correct. If you take off that shirt, I'll have a look at your arm." Neil helped David ease the garment over his injured limb. "Looks like Will's boxing skills have improved." He carefully probed David's shoulder as he spoke. "No fractures or separation," he said finally. "Just a bad bruise. You're lucky." "I don't feel lucky," David said wistfully. "Will I be able to ride?" Neil pulled a chair next to David and seated himself. From his saddlebags, he brought out several cloths and a glass bottle, which he set along the porch railing. "I don't see why not, if you go easy. It may hurt like the devil, but you seem able to bear a fair amount of pain." David smiled weakly at the compliment. "These cuts look worse than they are," Neil commented as he cleaned David's facial injuries. "I see no need for sutures. If you keep them clean, they should heal nicely." He paused momentarily. "I take it Will is ready for his match." "He's worked hard. I think he'll make it through at least a few rounds." David grimaced as the antiseptic stung his cheek. "Though I suppose it all depends on the comptetion." "When is the big event?" "Saturday." "Five days. He'd best be ready." Neil pulled out an empty bottle into which he poured a small amount of the liquid he had used on David's cuts. "I'll leave you some of this antiseptic. Use it twice a day, morning and night." David nodded his understanding. Neil stood up and walked to the porch stairs. He turned back to David. "Do I need to see Will Beck as well?" "No, Doctor," David answered wearily. "I'm afraid I'm the only one needing your attention today." **** "Anna, what do you intend to do?" Neil had returned to his cabin late that evening to discover his sister had prepared a dinner of rabbit stew. For most of the meal, he reminisced about his early days in Cutter Gap. Now, as he cleared the last bits of food from his plate, he turned serious. "About what?" she answered absently. "Your husband. What has happened to you. You canna go back to that man." Neil almost spit out the last words. Anna looked resigned. "I must. What else can I do?" Neil set down his fork and knife and pushed away from the table. "Leave him. You're worth more than he ever could be." Anna stood up and began to clear the dishes. "Leave him and go where?" She sounded exasperated. "I'm not a man. A woman can't just go off on her own. How would I support myself?" "For God's sake, why not go back to Edna and Jason?" "I can't." Her voice was nearly inaudible. "You don't understand. They treat John like a son. I can't count the times they've reminded me how lucky I was to marry him." "Do they know what he's done to you?" She didn't answer him directly. "Neil, I'm John's wife. If he is angry with me it is because I've failed him." She rested her back against the stove, arms crossed over her chest. "You can't believe that?" "Jason and Edna do. They'd just send me back." Her tone became defiant. "No, I must go home and make it work." She turned away and began scraping the plates. "Anna, men like him don't stop. He'll end up killing you." She did not turn around. "No, you don't know him. He won't hurt me again." "Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" Anna remained silent. Neil shook his head. "Well, if you won't go back to Edna, stay here. For a while at least -- until your injuries have healed," he suggested. "They're almost healed, thanks to you." She turned back to smile at her brother, wiping her hands on a rag. "Anyway, I've stayed too long. I can't run away or hide from my problems. I was foolish to try. No," she said defiantly, "I'm leaving in a few days." Seeing the look of dismay on his face, she added, "I'll be fine. You'll see." **** Christy watched as David, still favoring his injured arm, saddled Prince,. The day of Will Beck's boxing competition had finally arrived, and she did not know who was more nervous -- she or David. She'd already been awake for hours worrying about her student. Dawn had broken a short time ago, but the fog and mist of the Smokey Mountains filled the air, bringing a slight chill to the crisp summer morning. Christy pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders. "I don't understand why I can't go with you," she demanded. "A boxing match is no place for a proper woman, Christy." "I wouldn't have to watch it." "And what would you do, wait in the distance?" David asked with a smile. Christy realized the futility of the situation. "Is Will's father going along?" "No, Will didn't want him to." David mounted the horse as briskly as his injury would allow. "But MacNeill said he'd meet us there after he drops off his sister at the railway station." "Anna stopped by yesterday to say good-bye. It seems like she just arrived." "I'm sure she's anxious to get home," David suggested as he pulled his horse around. "Speaking of which, I'd best be on my way. I still have to pick up Will. I'll see you tonight." "Good luck, and take care," she called to his receding figure. "Of yourself and Will," she added to herself. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 15 Summary: Anna bids farewell; the results are in! Author: Greer ******************************** "Anna, maybe I should go with you." Standing on the station platform in El Pano, Neil tried one last time to discourage his sister from returning home to Richmond alone. He had pleaded, cajoled, argued, and insisted -- even suggested she discuss her situation with Alice Henderson -- all to no avail. "No, Neil," she replied patiently. "Your place is here, and mine is with my husband." "Promise me," Neil implored, "that if that man so much as threatens you, you'll leave." "I will." In the distance, they heard the shrill whistle of the approaching train. Anna knew she did not have much time. "Instead of worrying about me, maybe you should think about yourself. Isn't it about time you talked to Christy?" "To Christy?" Neil asked, surprised. "Oh, Neil." Frustration was evident in her tone. "It's been nearly two years now. Have you ever once told her how you feel about her?" "How I feel about her? And what would you know about that?" "I know that you have feelings for her." "Do you now?" he asked with a smile. Anna would not be deterred. "Neil, don't wait too long or you might find it's too late." "You don't understand." It was Neil's turn to be serious. "Christy's from a well-to-do family. She deserves better than a life tied to this Cove -- and to a non-believer." "Is that your decision to make, or Christy's?" Neil's silence was his answer. The train ground to a halt in the station, and passengers began to disembark. Neil and Anna tried not to be jostled by the scurrying crowd as passengers bid their good-byes to their friends and family. The conductor's voice rang out, "Nine-fifteen to Richmond. All aboard." Neil walked Anna to the train. As she climbed the steps of the car, he grabbed her arm. "Remember, if he touches you again--" "I know," Anna cut him off. She reached down and hugged him, tears forming in her eyes. "This visit has meant so much. I wish --" Anna was unable to complete her sentence as the train started to depart the station. She threw Neil a quick peck on the cheek as the car picked up speed. "Take care of yourself," she called. As Neil watched his sister disappear, his mind screamed the same thoughts. **** Later that afternoon, Christy and Fairlight relaxed in the gazebo. Christy smiled to herself as she gazed across the small table at her friend. Fairlight's face shone with the inner radiance unique to expectant mothers. It had been a month since Fairlight had announced her pregnancy. Now, she was starting to show evidence of the small life growing inside her. Her reading lessons were often hurried affairs, sandwiched between Christy's classes and Fairlight's own never-ending chores. This Saturday afternoon, however, school was out, and Jeb had enlisted the children to help clean up the Spencer yard. With Alice in Knoxville and Ruby Mae visiting friends, the two women had the mission to themselves. Fairlight's finger traced the words in her Bible. "Bless-ed are the meek, for they shall in-her-it the earth." "In-hair-it," Christy corrected. "It looks like 'her' but is pronounced 'hair.'" "Blessed are the meek, for they shall in-hair-it the earth." Fairlight looked up from her Bible. "These are wonderful, Miz Christy." "They're called 'The Beatitudes.' They're one of my favorite passages," she confided. "Opal and I was talkin' yesterday. She said as she might like to learn some readin' too." "That's wonderful, Fairlight," Christy said enthusiastically. "I'm sure I can find time to give her lessons as well. Maybe we can get some of the others to come, like Mary Allen and Swannie O'Teale." "Maybe." Fairlight sounded doubtful. She glanced at Christy's full plate. "Don't you like my gingerbread?" "What?" Christy looked down at the uneaten food. "I'm not very hungry. I'm worried about Will." She picked at the bread. "Don't you fret. I've known Will since he was born. He can right take care of himself." "With David and Dr. MacNeill with him, I shouldn't worry. But my stomach has been in knots day." "Ya need to eat, Miz Christy. Try jes' a little." Christy picked up a tiny piece and forced herself to chew and swallow it. Content with that small effort, Fairlight resumed reading. "Blessed are they who hun-ger and thirst--" "Hello, Christy, Fairlight." David's voice bellowed from a distance. The women looked up to see David and Will riding up the path. "Thank goodness," Christy exclaimed as she jumped up and ran toward the approaching men. "What happened? Are you alright?" Christy inspected her student as he dismounted. His face was a bit swollen, but otherwise he appeared unscathed. "Christy, not so fast," David chided her. "Will did fine. Earned twenty dollars." He looked at the younger man who had come to stand beside him. "I'd best let him tell you." "I made it four rounds, Miz Christy," Will said proudly. "Didn't take nearly a scratch 'til the very end. Preacher here's a darn fine teacher hisself." He gave David a look of admiration. "That's wonderful, Will. But what happened after the fourth round?" she asked, puzzled. Will could no longer meet her eyes. "I jes' stopped. I couldn'a go on. I got to thinkin' 'bout what you said, 'bout not fightin' and all. I couldn't git in the ring." Will hung his head. "They'll be thinkin' me a coward." "Will, you're no coward." Christy reached out to touch his arm. "Anyone can keep fighting. It takes much more courage to stop when you're winning. I'm so proud of you. I know your family will be too -- the entire Cove even." "I don't reckon so, Miz Christy. They'll all know I was yeller." "Miss Huddleston is right, Will," David jumped in. "You did Cutter Gap proud today. Dr. MacNeill and I will attest to that. Now, take your money and go home to your family," he said kindly. "I don't want it," Will said, holding out his hand to David. In his palm rested several crumpled bills. "Will!" Christy exclaimed. "Will, it's yours," David said simultaneously. "You worked hard for it." Will shook his head, thrusting his hand toward David. "No, I jes' don't feel right takin' money from hurtin' someone." "Your family needs that money. You earned it. Please take it," Christy pleaded. "No, 'tain't right. You keep it, fer the church." Seeing the boy would not back down, David took the money from Will's hand. "Alright, Will. I'll keep it for now. Why don't you talk this over with your family. Your money will be here if you change your mind." Will looked grateful. "I bes' be goin'. My ma will be afearin' for me." He slowly mounted his horse. "Thank you, Preacher. And you, Miz Christy." Christy and David were occupied with their own thoughts as his figure disappeared into the distance. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 16 Summary: Christy faces a crisis; Miss Alice struggles with her faith Author: Greer ******************************** "Christy!" It was well past midnight, and Alice had only recently climbed into bed after her return from an extended trip to Knoxville. But the sight of the young woman at her door nearly doubled over in pain instantly brought her to full consciousness. "Whatever is the matter?" Tears formed in Christy's eyes. "It hurts so badly." She described how her stomachache had worsened throughout the day. She had been unable to touch lunch or dinner -- the mere thought of food made her nauseous. Though she had gone to bed early, she could not sleep, and movement of any kind only intensified the pain. Alice put one arm around Christy's shoulder and pressed the other against her forehead. "Christy, why did thee not come to me sooner or send for Neil?" she asked kindly. "I thought it would get better, that I was just worried about Will's boxing match. And I knew you were tired from your trip -- I didn't want to disturb you." Alice shook her head in frustration. "We need to get thee back to bed. I will send David for Dr. MacNeill." **** It had been several hours since Alice had asked David to fetch the doctor. After briefly examining Christy, Alice was more concerned than ever. Hearing the rush of footsteps on the stairs, Alice fervently prayed that Neil had finally arrived. Instead, a frantic David charged into Christy's bedroom. "I can't find MacNeill," he exclaimed. "I went to his cabin -- everything's deserted. And Dan Scott's in Lyleton doing smallpox vaccinations." Alice received the news grimly. For the first time, she saw worry creep into Christy's face as well. She squeezed her hand tightly. "I will return in a moment." She motioned David outside Christy's room, closing the door behind her. "We must not worry Christy unnecessarily," she advised. "Did thee leave a note at Dr. MacNeill's cabin?" "Of course, but who knows when he'll find it. I can't find anyone who knows where MacNeill is. All the cabins were dark -- everyone's asleep. What are we going to do?" David was near panic. Alice forced her own voice to remain calm. "We shall wait. And pray for Christy and the Doctor's swift return." "Can't you do something?" David implored. "David, I am not a doctor," Alice replied evenly. "I will do everything in my power to help her, but some things I simply cannot do." As the night turned into morning, the incessant pain prevented Christy from snatching even a moment's rest. Alice tried to occupy her with passages from the Bible as well as stories of her early days as a missionary, her arrival in the Cove, and even tales of Dr. Ferrand. Eventually, however, the combination of exhaustion and nearly a day of unrelieved pain left Christy spent and unable to concentrate. David paced around the mission house, upstairs and downstairs, pausing only to knock on Christy's door to check on her progress. Realizing his well-intentioned actions only served to increase Christy's agitation -- and her own -- Alice finally suggested that David could best help Christy by resuming his search for the doctor. Although Alice tried to remain calm, fear began to creep into her bones. Where was Neil? Her ears strained for the telltale creak or snap that would signal his arrival. As she waited by Christy's bedside, her mind drifted back to the night not quite six months before when Margaret had drawn her last breath only steps from this very room. She recalled how, after so many weeks of illness, Margaret's condition seemed to have improved, and Alice had sent Neil home to get some much needed rest. Alice caught herself breathing rapidly as images of that evening washed over her. It had been a frigid, moonless night. For a time, she silently watched Margaret's chest rise and fall, momentarily free of the coughing and wheezing that had plagued recent days. Margaret had awakened briefly and asked her to read from the Book of Psalms. Alice had not questioned the request. She read verse after verse of the lyrical passages, one hand holding her Bible and the other intertwined with Margaret's cold, spindly fingers. Once, when she thought Margaret had fallen asleep, she stopped, only to have her daughter beg her to continue. Margaret lay listening with her eyes closed. Finally, as darkness was chased away by a gloomy dawn, she awakened. For a moment, just before they closed forever, a radiance shone in her eyes and she spoke one final word. Alice did not know how long she continued to hold her daughter's lifeless hand until Christy had gently pried them apart. Christy! Alice was jerked from her reverie. "Christy." Alice shook her head to clear the confusion. "Was thee speaking to me?" "No, Miss Alice," she murmured. This was not the first time Alice had confused the two women. She had always maintained a special place in her heart for the young teacher. Although she desperately loved Margaret, in many ways, Christy was the daughter Alice had always hoped for. She had not yet recovered from Margaret's death, and now Christy's life was in grave danger. As she had so many times, Alice sought solace in prayer. She prayed aloud with Christy, but her most impassioned pleas were offered in silence. Yet, as Christy's condition worsened and Neil failed to arrive, Alice felt her conviction wane. Doubt and uncertainty tormented her. Had she not prayed for Margaret's life? God had nonetheless taken Margaret from her. She had convinced herself that it was part of His plan. Was it now His plan to take Christy from her as well? Alice tried to offer the reassurance she herself did not feel. "Christy, do not fear. I have every confidence that David will find Dr. MacNeill quite soon." "I'm not worried, Miss Alice. I know God will take care of me." Alice searched Christy's face. She read pain and, despite the brave facade, a measure of trepidation. But in Christy's voice, in those few simple words, Alice also discerned an acceptance of whatever future God had planned for her, an acceptance that Alice herself still struggled to achieve. Watching Christy in the shadowy darkness, for the first time in her life, Alice truly understood faith. Not my will but thine be done. Alice understood that Christy's life was in God's hands and that nothing she could do would change that. As the magnificent colors of the sun crept over the mountains, Alice felt the panic ebb from her body. She offered one final prayer -- that God would do what He must and that He would give her the strength and courage to accept His decision. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 17 Summary: Dr. MacNeill and David face personal demons Author: Greer ******************************** "Neil, thank goodness." It was now late morning, and Alice's eyes lit up at the sight of the doctor's familiar figure in the doorway of Christy's bedroom. "I was delivering the Michaels' baby," Neil explained briefly. "I found David's note when I came home." The stubble on his face indicated he had not shaved in at least a day. Alice wondered when he had last slept. Without bothering to remove his jacket, Neil moved quickly to Christy's side, taking her hand in his. She lay curled in a fetal position, only her eyes acknowledging his arrival. "Christy," he said in a voice filled with concern. "What is the matter?" Neil's eyes locked on hers as his fingers instinctively felt for her pulse. "Christy has felt unwell since early yesterday," Alice reported. "She has severe pain in her abdomen. It worsened and localized during the night. She has also been running a low grade fever." The tone of Alice's voice warned the doctor of the seriousness of Christy's condition. With the back of his free hand, he felt Christy's forehead and cheek, nodding his agreement with Alice's assessment. "How long have you had pain, Christy?" "All yesterday," she admitted. Neil noted the strain and tension in her voice. "But it got much worse in the evening." "Nausea?" he asked. She nodded. "You need to lie back, Christy," Neil said, pulling off his coat. As Christy gingerly rolled onto her back, Alice arranged the bedclothes. Neil desperately wanted to avoid the next moments. He knew they would be painful for Christy and that he would be the cause of that pain. He reached for his mask of professionalism and found it wanting. Christy closed her eyes and tried to summon her waning energy as Dr. MacNeill carefully palpated her abdomen. Each touch was like a knife cutting through her, causing her to grip the bedsheets until her fingers numbed. As the doctor's hands reached her right side, even the slightest pressure caused her to cry out. Neil's eyes had barely left hers since he entered the room. Now, his face mirrored her pain. He paused in his examination and lightly touched her arm. "I know this hurts you, Christy," he said compassionately, "but it is necessary. Can you stand a bit more?" She pressed her lips together and nodded bravely. "There, that's fine now." Christy almost cried with relief when Neil had finished and Miss Alice had pulled the covers back over her. "Appendicitis?" Alice asked knowingly. "I'm afraid so." Neil briefly glanced at Alice, then returned his gaze to Christy. "I'll need to operate, Christy." She swallowed hard. "I understand." Neil noted that Christy had asked for no details and sought no reassurances. He marveled at her implicit trust in his judgment and abilities and struggled to find something comforting to say. "Appendicitis is serious. But the surgery is straightforward and you'll soon feel much better." It sounded pathetic, but it was the best he could do. He was rewarded with a nod and a weak smile. Neil wrestled with his emotions. The minute he stepped into the room, he had realized Anna was right -- he did care for Christy more than he had allowed himself to admit. But right now, she needed a doctor, not a suitor. For her sake, he could not permit himself to become distracted. He would need all of his professional skill -- and complete concentration -- to save her life. He forced himself away from her bedside. "I need to make preparations downstairs." "Neil," Christy called weakly as he reached the door, "could I see David?" "Of course, Christy." He found David at the foot of the stairs. "It's appendicitis," he said bluntly. "I'll have to operate. She wants to see you." "Operate? You're not going to operate on Christy here?" David asked incredulously. Neil's voice reflected his impatience. "There's no choice. She's had pain for more than a day now." "If you'd been here sooner--" David began in an accusatory tone. "My other patients have emergencies as well," he responded testily. "Doctor, you can't perform surgery on Christy here, under these conditions. I know you want to be heroic--" "Keep your voice down, Reverend," the doctor said sternly. "Listen to me now. We have no time for this. Every minute we stand here arguing puts Christy in greater danger. I'd love to send her to Asheville, but she can't travel now, and her condition will only worsen. Her appendix may already have perforated. Now what would you have me do?" David gave the doctor a long, searching look and bounded up the stairs. **** Neil had begun sterilizing and laying out his surgical instruments in the dining room. "Damn!" he said as Alice entered, "I should have left word where I would be." His eyes bored into hers. "I fear Christy's appendix has perforated. There's a real danger of peritonitis. She needs to be in a hospital. If I'd come back here with Will and the Reverend, there might have been time." He absently twisted one of his surgical clamps in his hand. Alice paused before speaking. She knew that appendicitis was a serious illness and, even under the best conditions, results were not always favorable. And these were far from the best conditions. "Neil, Christy's situation is not thy fault." She spoke firmly, with conviction. "Thee has never before doubted thy skill. I have every confidence in thy abilities, as does Christy." She handed him another pot of boiling water. "I will pray for both of you." Neil gave Alice a look of disdain before turning back to his preparations. He had long ago given up on prayer. For too many years, he had asked God to save his patients only to have them die under this care. Now he trusted in his own skill. When it was sufficient, he accepted the results as his due. When it failed, he blamed only himself. He and Alice worked in silence, the only sounds the boiling water and the tinkle of metal instruments. Having assured himself that everything was in order, he glanced around the room. If only Christy had complained of her pain sooner. He pushed such thoughts from his mind. "I'll go up and get Christy now." As Neil reached her doorway, he heard David and Christy praying together. It left him strangely disquieted. He felt like an eavesdropper, yet he could not turn away. ". . . be with Christy during surgery," David was saying softly. "Comfort her and give her the peace to know that she is acceptable in Your eyes. Be also with Dr. MacNeill as he operates. Guide his hands and make him confident in his abilities. We ask all this in Your name. Amen." "Amen." This softly from Christy. "Thank you, David." Neil knocked on the door as he pushed it open. "It's time, Christy." David was seated on Christy's bed, holding both of her hands in his. "She's ready, Doctor," he said with more confidence than he felt. "First class treatment, my lady," Neil said in mock seriousness, scooping Christy into his arms. There was so much he wanted to say, so many thoughts he had never shared. But there was no time; it was already too late. Anna's words haunted him. He tried to convey in a single look the emotions he felt. But the dullness in Christy's eyes told him she was too ill and too tired to notice. He carried her down the stairs and gently laid her on the table. As the doctor washed his hands, Alice approached Christy with the ether. Neil tried to reassure her. "You remember the ether from Bob Allen's surgery and Little Burl's. Just breathe deeply. You'll be awake before you know it." "It's all right, Doctor," Christy said in a steady voice. "I know I am safe in your hands, and in God's." As Christy watched the folded cloth approach her face, she reached for God's presence and felt herself enveloped in His arms. **** David stumbled down the steps of the mission house. It took all of his self control to keep from rushing into the makeshift operating room. He had thought to offer to boil water or pass instruments or anything, but in his heart, he knew that Dr. MacNeill and Alice didn't need his help. He berated himself for becoming angry with the doctor. He knew MacNeill would never jeopardize Christy's health to prove a point and regretted turning his own worry and frustration into criticism of the doctor's motives. He reluctantly had to admit that he had great confidence in MacNeill's skill and had no doubt the doctor would do everything within his power to save Christy's life. But under these antiquated and unsterile conditions, even that might be insufficient. Christy was seriously ill and there was not a single thing David could do to help her. Except pray. He found himself wandering into the deserted church. He could pray anywhere, but always felt most comfortable in these stiff, wooden pews. Maybe it was because he had built every square inch of the building with his own hands. Or maybe, with school still in session, everywhere he looked reminded him of Christy. At first, he had been elated that Christy had looked to him for spiritual support in the face of her impending surgery. But, just as with Aunt Polly, David felt inadequate providing pastoral care. In fact, he suspected that in those quiet moments, it was Christy who had comforted him. She had felt so certain of her future, so confident in her knowledge of salvation and God's love. It was his voice that had registered fear. "Dear God," he now prayed aloud. "Where did I go wrong?" David knew Christy was right for him. He had known the minute he had held her in his arms that first rainswept night when she had arrived in the Cove. He had known when she had plunked her dainty shoes into the muddy puddle on the first day of school. And he had known the day he handed her the ring after her ill-fated trip to Dr. MacNeill's cabin. "I've tried to show her how I feel, how much I care about her." But he hadn't been able to make her love him. And now, he feared, he never would. David tried to imagine himself working at the mission with Christy year after year, knowing they would never be more than friends. Would he have to watch her fall in love with Dr. MacNeill? Could he pour his heart into his missionary work when a part of it would always be with Christy? "Please watch over Christy now and in the days to come. Keep her from harm -- she still has so much to do." As David stared at the wooden cross, he prayed God to guide him. For right now, he felt very alone. **** Neil took the scalpel from Alice. Looking down at the small form beneath him, he was reminded of the other women he had so recently tried to save. He had failed both Margaret and Anna. Would he now fail Christy as well? He told himself that he had performed this surgery countless times and provided medical care to Christy on many occasions. Yet, now he was called upon to slice into her body in order to save her life. He steeled himself and touched the knife to her skin. As he started to make the incision, he stopped and, for the first time in as long as he could remember, uttered a simple prayer. "Please God, help me save Christy." He was sure he had spoken aloud and glanced at Alice for a response. However, she only stared back at him expectantly. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. His hands were steady as he cut into the skin. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 18 Summary: Christy awakens; Neil has an awakening of his own Author: Greer ******************************** Christy opened her eyes to find light streaming in the window and Alice seated by her bed, reading from her Bible. The angle of the sun and the noises of animals outside told her it was early morning. She had no idea what day it was. Alice had dark circles under her eyes, and Christy wondered if the older woman had kept vigil all night. "Miss Alice," she whispered softly. Alice hastily put aside the Bible and directed her attention to Christy. "Christy, it is good to see thee awake. How are thee feeling?" Christy shifted slightly in bed, resulting in a twinge of pain. "A little sore. How long have I been asleep?" "Thee has been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past day." Christy vaguely recalled waking for brief moments. She had been restless and in pain, and Neil had been beside her. "I remember Neil saying something to me when I woke up. I can't remember what." Her eyes roamed the room. "I sent Dr. MacNeill downstairs to get some breakfast." Alice answered her unspoken question. "He stayed with thee most of the night. David also has been most concerned." She propped another pillow under Christy's head. "Christy, I need to call thy parents and inform them of thy condition." "Oh no. Please wait until I can talk to them," she begged. Christy could well imagine her mother's reaction to learning that her daughter had undergone her first surgery on a dinner table in Cutter Gap. "Otherwise, my mother will be out on the next train." "No, Miss Huddleston," Alice patiently corrected her. "I have already waited too long." Noting the look of apprehension on Christy's face, she added, "trust me to deliver the news." She reached for a thermometer from the bedside table and, after shaking it down, placed it in Christy's mouth, forestalling further conversation. Christy always felt foolish having her temperature taken, unable to talk coherently, while someone watched her. She was still in that position when Neil poked his head in the door. "So, how is my patient this morning?" he asked as he entered the room. The exuberance in his voice contrasted with his obvious fatigue. Alice smiled. "She is in excellent spirits." Rising from her seat, she turned back to Christy. "I will see about getting thee some nourishment. And I am sure that David and Ruby Mae will be anxious to hear thee is awake. The poor girl rushed back from Bessie's the moment she heard of thy illness," the older woman added as she exited the room. After Alice left, Neil pulled the chair closer to Christy's bed. "Well, let's see how you're faring this morning," he said in a neutral, detached tone. He reached for her wrist to check her pulse. After a moment, he replaced her hand on the bed and removed the thermometer from her mouth. She noticed him frown as he read it. "You're running a fever," he informed her. "One hundred point eight degrees." Christy's eyes met his. "It's nothing," she said firmly. "On what do you base your diagnosis, doctor?" he joked lightly. "I'm feeling better," she suggested. "Hmm." Neil did not sound convinced. "Let me have a look at the incision." Christy stared at the ceiling as Dr. MacNeill drew back the sheets. She recalled him once telling her that illness and modesty rarely mixed. The truth of that statement was never more clear. Her first instinct was to cringe with embarrassment. But she knew the examination was necessary, and the doctor's matter-of-fact manner made any objection seem silly. Besides, she reminded herself, only a few hours earlier Dr. MacNeill's hands had cut into her body. "Your appendix had perforated," Neil commented as he inspected the wound. "But," he added hastily, "the tear was quite small, and there was not much infection. I took the drain out last night. It looks good," he said, replacing the covers. "Is there much pain?" he asked, staring into her eyes. "A little," she admitted, meeting his gaze. "More than a little, I'll wager," he said knowingly. "That's to be expected for another day or so. I'll give you something for it before I leave." "Can I see it -- the scar?" Christy asked. "Are you sure you want to?" Neil responded, eyeing her critically. When Christy nodded, he put his arm around her shoulders and helped her sit up. He pulled back the blankets, and she saw a patch of angry, raised skin, dotted by what looked like small black bugs -- the sutures. One glance was enough. Neil saw her turn ashen and quickly pressed her back onto the bed. "I know it looks bad, Christy. But it's perfectly normal. Don't worry, once the swelling goes down and the sutures come out, you'll barely know you had surgery." Thankful for something else to look at, Christy watched Neil retrieve his stethoscope from his bag. She noted it was new -- larger and more modern than the one he usually carried. Neil smiled slightly and flipped the end of it toward her. "A gift from Anna." "She sent it?" Christy asked, confused. Anna had been gone only a few days. "Brought it with her," he replied simply. "Figured every doctor could use a new one, especially me." "I liked her," Christy confessed. "I'm glad we got the chance to meet. Do you think she'll visit again soon?" "I don't know," Neil answered brusquely. He was not anxious to pursue this subject. The thought of his sister alone with her husband grated on him. He placed the stethoscope against Christy's back. "Take a deep breath," he said, more harshly than he had intended. Christy flinched slightly at his tone but remained silent as the doctor continued his methodical examination. "When will I be able to get up?" she asked when he had finished and put aside his instruments. "Maybe tomorrow. You've had a rough time of it, Christy," he said solemnly, tucking the sheets back around her. "Your lungs are clear, but I don't want to rush things. You're feverish, your heart rate is elevated, and there's still a danger of complications. In the meantime, you must rest as much as possible. And no visitors until the danger of infection has passed." Neil longed to talk to Christy about something other than her medical condition. But he recognized that he was at her bedside at that moment as her doctor. Thus far, she had shown him complete trust in that role. Much as he wanted to express his concern, he refused to violate that sacred bond by mixing his personal feelings with his professional responsibilities. He measured a small amount of powder into a glass, added some water and handed it to Christy. It tasted bitter, and she made a face. "It's aspirin," he said. "It will help with the fever and the pain. Drink it quickly." As she swallowed the remaining contents of the glass, Alice appeared at the door with a breakfast tray. Upon seeing the "menu" of juice, broth, and water, Christy wrinkled her nose, causing Neil to laugh at her reaction. "Only liquids for now, I'm afraid." **** A short time later, Alice came down the stairs, tray in hand, to find Neil packing up his surgical instruments. A nearby basin of soapy water indicated that he had taken the time to wash and shave after the long night. "She's asleep again," Alice informed the doctor. "Good, that's best for now. We must keep her in bed and limit her visitors as well. She's still vulnerable to infection." Neil closed up his medical case. He looked at Alice as if trying to decide whether to continue. "Alice," he said awkwardly, "there's something I want to say to you." She set the tray on the table. "Yes, Neil." The discomfort became more pronounced. "When I had to operate on Christy," he turned away for a moment and, when he looked back, he could not meet Alice's gaze. "I asked for God's help." "Yes," she responded quietly. Neil was startled. His eyes locked on hers. "Did I speak out loud?" "Thee did not need to. God hears our silent prayers." He shook his head. "I don't know as it made any difference." "All prayer makes a difference." "How do you know, Alice?" he pressed her. "How many times have you asked for something and had your prayer go unanswered?" Alice wondered if Neil was referring to Margaret. "Neil, we do not always understand the way in which God answers our prayers. It is arrogant to believe that when we do not receive exactly what we asked for, God has not heard us." Neil absently stroked his chin. "Then how do you know when God does answer your prayer?" "Christy is alive. Is that not enough to be thankful for." "What makes you so sure it was God who saved Christy?" "What makes thee sure it was not?" When Neil failed to respond, Alice took a deep breath. "Neil, I cannot prove to thee that God exists or that He is responsible for saving Christy," she said wearily. "But," she added confidently, "I believe it. That is the essence of faith." She started to turn away when his voice pulled her back. "And if I wanted to thank Him? I needn't tell you I haven't done much praying lately. I don't know the right way." "Prayer is nothing more than a private conversation with God. There is no right or wrong way -- it matters only that the words come from thy heart." Alice paused and gave the doctor a half-smile. "But thee already knows that." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 19 Summary: Dan visits Christy - the lessons continue Author: Greer ******************************** Two mornings later, Christy expected the doctor's familiar face in response to her "come in" and was surprised to find Dan Scott at her door. She had not seen him since before her surgery. "Did Dr. MacNeill send you to check on me this morning?" she asked cheerfully as Dan entered the room. "Oh no, Miss Christy. I expect he'll be along shortly. I just got back from Lyleton last night and heard about what happened to you. I stopped by to see how you were getting along." Christy invited Dan to sit down. He pulled the chair away from the bedside and slipped into the seat. "I'm still tired, but feeling much better. I'll be glad to get out of this bed. Speaking of surgery, Doctor MacNeill tells me you performed your first operation the other day." "Don't know as I'd call it surgery," Dan replied modestly, "but I did take a bullet out of a young man's leg. Said he got shot in a hunting accident." "But it's not hunting season." "You're right about that." He shook his head. "It never ceases to amaze me." He twirled his hat in his hands. "Miss Christy, I want to thank you for interceding with Doc MacNeill. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. I know it wasn't easy for you or for him." "Dan, we're the ones who should be grateful. I don't know how Dr. MacNeill ever managed without you." Dan grinned. "I must admit, Miss Christy, sometimes I wonder too. There are more than enough patients to keep us both busy." "Good morning Christy," Neil's booming voice intruded as he strode into the room. "Well, I see you already have a visitor. Morning, Dan." Dan stood up and offered his seat to the doctor. "How are you feeling, Christy?" Neil seated himself and began pulling instruments from his bag. "Much better." "Still having pain?" "A little, but it's not so bad. I'm still tired though." "That's to be expected, given all you've been through. You'll have to resume your activity quite slowly." He shook down a thermometer and placed it in her mouth, then glanced up at Dan. "So Dan, what should I look for today with Miss Huddleston?" Christy couldn't help but smile. All the effort required to get Neil started teaching and now it seemed he never stopped. "Three days post surgery," Dan said thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "Examine the incision for edema and infection, and the sutures to be sure they're holding. Check for fever and congestion in the lungs -- make sure pneumonia hasn't set in." "And what are the most likely complications of a perforation of the appendix?" While Dan peered over his shoulder, the doctor began lecturing and questioning him on various aspects of anatomy and surgery while he examined the incision. At first, Christy listened intently, but she quickly tired of trying to interpret the medical jargon. As the men continued their discussion, Christy laughed inwardly at her present situation. The severity of her condition and Neil's professional demeanor made the events of the past days seem almost routine. In some ways, Christy was surprised, and secretly relieved, that since she'd fallen ill, Neil had maintained his detachment. While a part of her yearned for him to express some measure of personal interest, at the same time, she desperately hoped he would not. Neil removed the thermometer from her mouth. "Much better," he said approvingly. Dan used this opportunity to excuse himself. "I'd like to stay, doctor, but I promised Mrs. O'Teale I'd look in on her first thing this morning. Miss Christy," he nodded formally. "Thank you for coming by," Christy called out. Neil glanced up. "I'll talk with you later, Dan." He turned his attention back to Christy, checking her throat, heart, and breathing. By now, she had become accustomed to the routine and could almost anticipate his directions. "Oh Alice, there you are. Good." Christy smiled as the older woman entered the room. She still wondered how Miss Alice had convinced her parents not to come rushing to their daughter's bedside. When she'd asked Alice for details, the older woman had only smiled. "You're healing nicely," Dr. MacNeill said at the conclusion of his examination. "I think you're ready to get up for a short time this morning. Alice, can you help us?" Getting up was much more difficult and painful than Christy had imagined. Although she leaned heavily on Neil and Alice, even the few short steps to her chair on the porch left her exhausted. However, the sight of the mountains was the best prescription Neil could have written. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 20 Summary: David imparts some disturbing news Author: Greer ******************************** Several days later, Dr. MacNeill finally allowed Christy to have visitors. She was certain that every one of her students trooped through her room -- each wanted to see the teacher personally. Although Christy delighted in their visits, she tired easily and was thankful when Miss Alice intuitively appeared at precisely the right moment to shoo them away. Now, nearly a week after her surgery, even lying on clean sheets, Christy felt filthy. She could only imagine how she looked. She longed to luxuriate in a warm tub, but Dr. MacNeill had forbidden any baths until the sutures were removed. Suddenly, Fairlight and Ruby Mae entered her room, each carrying large buckets of water and handfuls of towels. "What's all this?" Christy asked, struggling to sit up. "Figured you might be gettin' a bit out of sorts, what with your bein' in this room all this time," Fairlight said. "So we're gonna give you a bath," Ruby Mae exclaimed proudly. She was still crushed to have missed all of the "citement" of the surgery and was determined to assist in Christy's recovery. "We warmed up the water right nice an' got some perty smellin' soap." "Doc said it was okay, so long as we didn't get your stitches wet," Fairlight added. "We said we'd be real careful like." For the next hour, Christy was scrubbed head to toe. Afterwards, the two women washed and combed her hair and helped her into a fresh nightgown. By the time they left, Christy felt both totally drained and completely refreshed. She was reading from the Bible David had given her when she heard a soft knock at the door. "Christy, are you awake?" It was David. "May I come in?" Christy put aside the Bible and pulled the blankets close around her, covering her nightgown as much as possible. "Of course, David." She was surprised he had not been a more frequent visitor to her sickroom these past several days. David stood nervously inside the door. He immediately noticed the change in her appearance. "You look nice, Christy. How are you feeling?" "Much better," Christy assured him. "I just wish I were recovering more quickly. I hate for school to end this way." Christy's illness had come only days before the summer break and, when Dr. MacNeill refused to permit her anywhere near her classroom for at least two weeks, she had reluctantly agreed to end classes early. "The children know it couldn't be helped. They just want to see you get well quickly. As do I," he added. In two strides, David covered the distance between the door and the foot of her bed. "Neil said I could resume my lessons with Fairlight tomorrow. She's been trying to get Opal to join us," she added. "They'll be at different reading levels, of course, but I think I can manage. Maybe this will lead to more classes for the adults." David still cringed at her use of the doctor's first name. "That's great, Christy. I'm glad things are working out for you here." His tone set off warning bells in Christy's head. "What do you mean, David? This is what we've been working so hard for. I know we have a long way to go, but it's a start." "Of course it is," David replied absently, and Christy surmised that he had not come to her room to discuss her recovery or classes for the adult residents of the Cove. But she was unprepared for his next words. "I don't know how to say this. I'm planning to leave the mission." "What?" Christy exclaimed. "David, you're not serious." "I am. I've been thinking about it for some time now." "But you can't leave," she sputtered. "What about your work? The children?" Christy found herself unable to organize her thoughts, each question tumbling from her mouth, one after another. "I don't know if it will be permanent. I just need some time to figure out what I want to do." "When will you leave? Where will you go? What will you do?" Christy had still not fully recovered from the shock of David's revelation. David began pacing around the room. "I'll probably go back to Boston. There's a teaching job in a boy's school there. After Cutter Gap, I think I could manage a few unruly boys." He offered a weak smile, which Christy did not return. "And what about your work here at the mission?" He faced her directly. "I came here because I believed God called me to minister to these people. And I've tried. For two years, I've tried. But I can't see I've made a difference. No one here wants to change. They don't want to stop making moonshine. They don't want to stop feuding --" "You can't believe that!" Christy cried. "I afraid I do." "I know it's difficult. I get frustrated too. But we're making progress." "Are we? How long will it take, Christy? Do you really want to stay in Cutter Gap for the rest of your life?" "I don't know," Christy replied honestly. "But there's so much still to do. I couldn't leave now when we're finally starting to see progress." "It's more than that. It's you, Christy," David said bluntly. "Me?" Christy exclaimed. "You mean my turning down your proposal--" "No, that's over," he said with a finality that cut to the quick. "I meant that you've made this your home; the children and families trust you. You have friends -- Opal, Fairlight, Dr. MacNeill." David's voice trailed off at the mention of the doctor's name. He resumed pacing. "I don't feel that connection. I've tried to work with these people to make this a better place. But I still feel like an outsider looking in." David paused at the window, his gaze resting on the glistening peaks. "You've become part of these mountains. I haven't. And I don't think I ever will." "That's not true." "It is," David responded softly. "I asked God to guide me. Maybe some time away is His answer." "How will we ever manage without you?" Christy's eyes filled with tears. "You'll do fine. Some other idealistic young preacher will take my place." He shrugged. "Who knows, maybe I'll be back sooner than you think." He tried to keep his voice light. Christy sat up a little straighter. "Have you told Miss Alice?" she asked suddenly. "Not yet. You're the only one who knows. Please, Christy," he begged. "Promise me you won't tell anyone yet." Christy nodded, unable to speak through her tears. "I'm sorry, Christy. This is something I must do. The last thing I want is hurt you." Unable to say more, David slipped through the open door and dashed down the stairs, almost running into Dr. MacNeill, who was on his way up. The doctor watched David disappear into the parlor then hurried to Christy's room. He found her sitting up in bed, tears running down her cheeks. "My God, Christy, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting beside her on the bed. "Are you in pain?" She shook her head. "Then what has made you cry? Please tell me," he implored, taking her hand in his. Christy continued sobbing. "I can't," was all she could say. ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 21 Summary: Christy and Neil talk, really talk Author: Greer ******************************** It felt so good to good to breathe in the fresh mountain air, Christy thought to herself as she and Fairlight strolled across the lawn outside the school. Even a cloudy day could not dampen Christy's spirits. She had been inside and inactive far too long. Dr. MacNeill had encouraged her to take brief walks, provided she took someone with her and didn't venture far from the mission. When Fairlight arrived for her reading lesson this afternoon, Christy seized the opportunity. "Oh, Fairlight, I've missed so much," she said dreamily. "The birds, the trees, the flowers. I'd almost forgotten how beautiful Cutter Gap can be." "It sure is. Specially if you've been cooped up nearly two weeks." Christy longed to run across the field, jump off the nearest log, roll in the grass. But she could still see Dr. MacNeill's stern face. "If you want to get well, Christy," he had warned, "you must refrain from any excessive activity until I tell you otherwise. That means no running, jumping, lifting, or anything else that might tear those sutures." She and Fairlight stood outside the school. "I can hardly believe it's been so long since--" Christy's voice trailed off. "Since?" Fairlight asked. "Since David proposed." Christy finished her own thought. "Do you mind if I ask you somethin'?" "Not at all, Fairlight." "You ever regret not marryin' the preacher?" "Sometimes." Christy surprised Fairlight with her answer. "We could have been happy, I think. And it would have been much easier--" "Are you in love with him?" Fairlight demanded. "Right now, as we're standin' here?" "Well, no I --" Fairlight's expression spoke volumes. "And what about Doc MacNeill? Does he still make your blood boil?" "Oh, Fairlight, I don't know. Ever since Margaret died, we barely talk. He's been so distant. I don't know what he feels, and I don't know what I feel, and --" "I don't believe that for a minute, Christy, and neither do you." "But when I was so sick, he never said anything--" "When you was sick, he took right care of you like a doctor should. What'd you expect? Him to be courtin' you during the operation." Christy laughed aloud. "I suppose when you put it that way." They had not walked much further when they saw Neil ride up. He dismounted and strode toward them. "Speak of the devil," Fairlight said. "His ears must be burnin'." He came upon the two women laughing. "Did I miss something, ladies?" he asked innocently. "Nothing important," Christy replied, smiling. Fairlight interrupted the awkward silence. "Well, I'd bes' be going. I got young'uns waitin' fer me." "Fairlight," Neil said in his most professional tone. "Remember what I told you about taking it easy. You have that new baby to think of," he added, looking pointedly at her slightly bloated abdomen. "I ain't forgotten," she replied. "John an' Zady is helping out. Bye Miz Christy," she said. Neil waited until she was out of earshot before continuing. "The shawl looks good on you, Christy." He had noticed she was wearing his birthday gift. "Yes, it's beautiful." She wasn't sure what made her grab for the shawl that afternoon, but she suddenly was glad she had. "So how are you feeling? Not tiring yourself, I hope?" "Did you come all the way up here to inquire about my health, Doctor?" Christy asked playfully. "No. I came to keep a promise," he answered seriously. "A promise?" "I know you'll be going home to Asheville as soon as you're healed." Christy nodded. She had planned to spend three weeks of the summer at home. Her mother wanted her to stay longer, especially after learning about her illness, but Christy could not bear the thought of endless rounds of teas, dinners and shopping trips. "I want you to come back." Neil tried to concentrate on the words he had prepared even as he watched Christy for signs of fatigue. "Of course I'll be coming back," Christy said. "I have school in the fall--" "No, Christy. I mean it is important to me that you come back." Neil looked down at his feet, then raised only his eyes to look straight into Christy's. "This is not easy for me to say. I should have said it a long time ago. And then when you were ill, I feared I might have lost the chance." Christy gently placed her hand on his arm. "I'm fine, Neil, thanks to you." "Not only me," Neil said quietly. Who? Christy asked herself. Of course, Miss Alice, she realized belatedly. But Neil was still speaking. "For a long time, I was sure that I needed only myself. When you were ill and I thought that you might-- I realized I was wrong. I do need something, or someone." "Oh Neil, Miss Alice told me that you prayed for me." She noticed the self-conscious look that crossed his face. "If my illness has brought you closer to God . . ." She looked at him earnestly as her voice trailed off. "I don't know about God, Christy, but I'd like to think it brought me closer to you." Christy did not know if was the sincerity of his words or the look in his eyes that caused her long-suppressed embarrassment to surface. She had forced herself to believe that, during her illness, he had looked on her only as a patient. The thought that he might have looked at her in a personal way -- it was too humiliating even to think about. She could not meet his gaze. Neil noticed the flush that came over her face. Fearing she was about to faint, he put an arm around her waist and guided her to the schoolhouse steps. "Sit down here," he ordered, kneeling beside her. He felt her pulse racing but could discern no physical cause. "Christy, what is it?" "It's nothing. Please, I'd like to go back." Christy dared not explain further. "Have I said something?" Neil asked in a hurt voice. Before Christy could answer, they saw Ruby Mae running up the hill, shouting at the top of her lungs. "Doctor MacNeill! Doctor MacNeill!" Neil turned at the sound of her voice but waited to answer until the girl was closer. "What is it, Ruby Mae?" "Fairlight said you was up here. Phone call," she panted. "Raven Gap." "Slow down, Ruby Mae," Neil pleaded. "Now tell me what happened." "Call at the mission from Raven Gap." The girl paused to gulp in air. "Said someone's real sick. They think it's appendy-- same thing Miz Christy had." "Appendicitis?" She nodded. "Are they still on the phone?" "No, they rung off. But they said they needed you right quick." "All right. Come Christy, let me help you." As they slowly made their way down the path to the mission, Neil tried one last time. "Christy, back at the schoolhouse, did something I say upset you?" Christy could not bear the hurt look in his eyes. "It's just that, when I was ill, I thought you were my doctor," she started. "Of course," Neil replied with a questioning frown. "But if you--" She could not explain further. Suddenly, Neil understood. He stopped and pulled Christy around to face him. "Christy, I am a doctor. And when you were ill, I was your doctor." His eyes seemed to pierce her very soul. "I know it was difficult for you. I acted as I did to spare you unnecessary embarrassment. But I never stopped caring for you. And not just as your doctor." Christy found herself at a loss for words. She had not heard this intensity of emotion from Neil since before Margaret's death. After these many months of distance in their relationship, his words warmed her heart. She placed her hand over his. "Neil, I couldn't have asked for a better doctor. Or a better friend." ******************************* Title: Crisis of Courage, Part 22 Summary: Nah, that would spoil all the fun! Author: Greer ******************************** "I should return in three days then," Neil promised as he rode off. Christy watched until rider and horse were but a small dot on the horizon. For Christy, the time dragged. She slowly regained her strength and began to do light chores around the mission. Alice removed her sutures, a process much less painful than Christy expected. The eve of the third night, she put on one of her prettiest dresses and the shawl Neil had given her. She sat in the parlor attempting to read, but her mind was not on "Tom Sawyer." Several times, she put down her book and strolled onto the porch, hoping she might catch a glimpse of the doctor riding up to the mission. The hour crept toward midnight and Neil had not arrived. Ruby Mae went to bed. Then David left for his bunkhouse. And finally Miss Alice prepared to ascend the stairs for the final time that evening. "Christy, thee must come to bed. I am sure Neil has been delayed. Surely thee knows by now that his comings and goings rarely conform to any schedule, much as he might desire it." "I suppose you're right." Christy rose from her chair and followed Alice up the stairs. Of course, Alice was right. Neil would be back tomorrow. But tomorrow came and went as did the following day, with no word. Christy again voiced her concern. "Miss Alice, what's happened to Neil? It's been six days." Alice reflected on what they had managed to learn of Neil's whereabouts. He had arrived in Raven Gap in time to perform the surgery and left two days later with plans to return directly to Cutter Gap. It was possible that another medical emergency had intervened, but no one seemed to have any information in a community where gossip and rumor traveled at the speed of light. Alice knew Neil could be in one of a dozen small communities. Or, he could be in the bottom of some ravine, injured or even worse. Alice preferred not to consider such possibilities. Her voice was firm but kind. "More than likely he has stopped to render assistance, and word has not yet reached us. However, if he has not returned by morning, I shall organize a search." **** The search parties, led by David and Jeb Spencer, set out at dawn. Christy watched them leave. They would ride to Raven Gap on the route preferred by the doctor. If they did not find him, they would roam the countryside, seeking someone who might have information. Christy could not imagine Neil not getting word to her. He must know she would be worried. How could he do this? It was easier being angry with him. It gave her confidence that he was safe and sound. Four additional days passed with no word from either the doctor or the search party. Christy's panic had long since given way to an impending sense of dread. She mindlessly stirred the laundry, the motion echoing her thoughts. She wanted the search party to return, yet feared the news their return would bring. Round and round, she pushed the clothing in the tub. She began pulling sheets from the water and hanging them on the line to dry. As she worked, she became aware of the gentle sound of horse hooves pounding on the dirt. Christy peered around the sheets. In the distance, she saw a group of men, some riding, some leading their horses. Was it--? Christy dropped the sheet and briskly climbed the steps to the porch. Yes, it was the search party returning. Their pace was slow, almost funereal. They must be tired, Christy thought. She searched for Neil and David, but the men were still too distant for her to make out their faces. Christy started to walk toward them, but something in their midst caught her attention and riveted her to the spot on which she stood. One of the horses was riderless, carrying an oddly-shaped load. It was wrapped, secured with rope, and hung down over the sides of the horse. Christy sensed Alice's presence beside her. At the same moment, they both understood what the horse was carrying. Christy heard Alice gasp. As the processional slowly wound its way toward the mission house, Christy's piercing cry seemed to echo through the Cove. "Noooooo." The End. ************************************** DISCLAIMER: The story and characters of Christy are owned by the LeSourd family. This work of fan fiction is for personal amusement only and is not intended to infringe on any of those rights. The writer does not seek to profit in any way from this story. Any additions of characters or story lines were invented by the writer. ***************************************