On Top of Old Smoky Cutter Gap Style
(or The Saga of Bob Allen)

On top of Old Smoky ,
All covered with snow,
Bob Allen got shot at,
For movin’ too slow.

He got shot in the belly,
And thumped on the head,
But poor ol’ Bob Allen,
He weren’t quite dead.

He got lost in the mountains,
And drowned in a flood,
He got ate up by skeeters,
And buried in mud.

He got crushed by a millstone,
And fell down a mine,
He got likker poisonin’
From Tom McHone’s shine.

He walked into quicksand,
Right up to his knees,
He got stung all over
By Jeb Spencer’s bees.

He fell down in the holler,
By the light of the moon,
Then poor Bob got bit by
A rabid raccoon.

So if you see Bob Allen,
You got nothing to fear,
Just stop and say howdy,
But don’t stand too near.

-Completely adulterated by D.J. DeJong