Title: Too Soon Lost… Too Late Found

Author: Lady S

Rating: Heavy PG-13

Disclaimer: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of
Christy is owned by the Marshall-LeSourd Family,
L.L.C. We are in no way seeking profit or credit for
her story. We are continuing the story of Christy for
our own amusement only. Any additions in story line
and characters were invented by the writers of the
alt.tv.christy Round Robin and the Christy Mailing
List. The content of each story is the responsibility
of the individual writer. The fanfic here is being
posted as a service to the Christy mailing list, Pax
Christy Forum and Alt.tv.christy News Group.

Author’s Notes: Just a warning.  This particular
fanfic will be a little on the dark side.  Nothing too
bad just much more serious than any of the other's
I've written.  Up until now you’ve seen my light,
humorous, romantic side of writing.  Welcome to the
other side.



Too Soon Lost... Too Late Found.


Chapter One


Standing at the railing on the second level of the
mission house Christy watched the sun rising in the
sky, a brilliant morning that she wished she could
enjoy.  But her mind and heart were too full of
questions to enjoy the splendor of the rising sun. 
All night, since she had been caught between two men
in the schoolyard, Christy had searched her heart for
answers.

Who did she love?

David loved her.  He was a kind man, very sweet to her
and to the children.  Not a day went by that he didn’t
make her feel special with his looks or his kisses. 
David had a love for God, he was a preacher, always
doing good deeds for those who needed it, and lately
he had been especially doing so, finally seeing that
the way to help them was to work with his hands, side
by side with the men of the cove.

But Neil loved her too.  He was an intelligent man,
one who had dedicated his life to helping the families
of the cove.  The children loved him dearly, and the
people accepted him as one of their own since he was
from these very mountains.  Every time she talked with
Neil he challenged her to rise above the problem, many
times helping her see the solution just by talking it
our with him.  Lately they had become very good
friends.

Christy sighed.  All through the night she had
listened to her heart and her head as they had fought
with each other, each one warring with the other about
the pros and the cons of the men in question.  Both
were good men and of course both had their faults as
imperfect men.

David would eventually want to leave the cove someday,
he had said as much to Christy when he told her about
a letter from home.  And with all the time they had
spent together she found it difficult to recall the
last time they had held a serious discussion between
just the two of them.  David seemed to prefer kissing
to talking.  When they did talk he always seemed
disinterested, putting down her ideas and leaving her
feeling tired out just from talking to him.

And Neil!  Every time they talked it seemed to end in
an argument, no matter what the discussion had begun
as.  It felt, at times, like no matter how she
explained things that it would never be right in his
eyes.  Whenever she was around him she felt as though
she were behaving like a little child.  He made her
feel naïve, especially with his ‘Papa will explain’
comments.  He made her blood boil, as she had told
Fairlight that morning.  But even if all that didn’t
exist, even if he had no faults there was one fact
that still remained.  Neil MacNeill was a married man.

No closer to a decision than she was when she had fled
the schoolyard, ignoring the calls of both men,
Christy sighed and went inside to dress.  ‘Maybe a
walk in the woods will help,’ she thought to herself
as she donned a dress.  Sitting on the chair, reaching
for her hairbrush she brushed out her long brown
locks, opting to let them hang freely down her back. 
It was still early in the morning; she doubted she
would come across anyone this early in the morning.

Slipping on her shoes she tread softly down the stairs
and out the front door of the mission.  Taking a deep
breath of the fresh air she looked around trying to
decide which way she would go.  The one way had less
cabins so Christy opted to head in that direction,
walking at a leisurely pace, in no hurry, still with a
plethora of questions on her mind.  

Entering the forest she saw a deer dart away into the
brush and Christy smiled.  How could she ever think of
leaving a place as beautiful as Cutter Gap?  Yes, it
had its problems, every place had their share of it,
but what better place to deal with those problems that
here, in the beauty of God’s creative works?  Here in
the cove, where the people had such a fierce devotion
to one another and to God.

But if she married David then there would come a day
when she would leave the cove, leaving behind all the
people she had come to care about.  She would have to
leave behind her children and who knew if they would
ever have another teacher who was willing and able to
see past the poverty and the dirt to see the diamond
through the coal.  Christy’s heart cried at the
thought that her children would feel she didn’t love
them any more because she had left them.

Christy wondered if she should marry at all.  So far
the prospect had only seemed to bring trouble.  Where
was that fairytale marriage that she had imagined as a
child?  Leaning against a tree for a moment Christy
closed her eyes and pictured her little children
playing in the yard as she had so many times before. 
Only this time, as she stood there with her eyes
closed she could see that they weren’t playing in the
yard but rather by the river.  One of them, a little
girl, turned and smiled at her, her bright red curls
gleaming in the sun even as the playfulness gleamed in
her big blue eyes.

“Oh!” Christy cried, opening her eyes with a sudden
jerk of her head.

Red hair and blue eyes?  When had she begun to imagine
her children with that coloring?  The blue eyes she
could understand, they were the same color as her own.
 But the red hair?  No one in her family had that type
of hair color.  Christy could feel her cheeks burning
as she realized what her little daydream had meant. 
Red hair and blue eyes, the same as Neil.  Shaking her
head to dispel the thought Christy kept walking deeper
into the forest.

Neil MacNeill.

Theirs was a relationship Christy truly could not
define to herself, or anyone else for that matter. 
They had begun as sparring partners, debating
everything from the children to religion to medicine
and health in the cove.  But over time that had
changed as they had learned to trust one another, to
value each other’s opinions.  A friendship had formed
and yet Christy could not end its definition there. 
Somehow their relationship had moved past the barriers
of a friendship and into an area Christy didn’t know,
one that she couldn’t name.  Yet all the while she
knew, without a doubt, that she trusted Neil
implicitly.

Sighing Christy stared up at the treetops for a
moment, begging God for His answer to the questions
that burned in her mind and heart.  What was she to
decide?  How would she ever know to which man her
heart truly belonged?  Not finding an answer in the
treetops Christy sighed once more and looked down at
the beaten patch before her.  Where would it lead?  

from behind her she heard the snap of a twig but
before she could turn to look a blinding pain exploded
in her head.  Tears of pain surged forth and she fell
to her knees in the middle of the forest.  As she
tumbled to the ground, her head pounding, a ringing
noise filling her hears she was barely aware of the
cool, dew covered grass as it brushed her cheek. 
Lying in the forest a numbing blackness surrounded her
and willingly she succumbed to it, welcoming the
relief it brought, a haven from the pain that seared
through her head.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Two


Riding up the hill to the mission house Neil’s eyes
automatically drifted toward the schoolhouse; they
usually did when he rode toward the mission.  Even
though he knew it was a Saturday and there was no
school today Neil felt a twinge of disappointment that
he would not get to see Christy interact with the
children today.  He loved to watch her when she didn’t
know anyone was there, the way she spoke to the
children, the soft look that would come into her eyes.
 It was one of the many reason he loved her.

But, he reminded himself, that was not why he was
riding to the mission today.  There was no medical
emergency, no that wasn’t the reason either.  Today it
was a personal reason.  Halting Charlie near the
hitching post Neil swung down and wrapped the leather
reins around the post before climbing the stairs,
removing his riding gloves as he walked.  Entering the
mission he was drawn to the dining room by the voices
he heard, recognizing the one he needed to speak with.

“David, thee is asking her to dedicate her life to
thee.  Thee must understand she will need time to
think over such an undertaking.”

“You make it sound like a chore Alice,” he groaned
from his seat at the head of the table.

“No, not a chore, but thee must admit it is a large
decision to be made and it is not one to be made
lightly.”  The scuffing of Neil’s boots on the floor
caught her attention and Alice looked up to see him
standing in the doorway.  “Welcome, Neil.”

“Alice,” he said in greeting.  “Grantland,” Neil added
as an afterthought.  “Alice I need a moment with you.”

Nodding she rose form her seat.  “Ruby Mae would thee
please inform thy teacher that her breakfast is
getting cold?”  Motioning for Neil to join her in the
main room she waited until Ruby Mae had climbed the
stairs to speak to Neil.  “What did thee need to
discuss?”

“Margaret.”  Pulling at the nips of his hair Neil
sighed.  “She’s gone again.  I got back to the cabin
yesterday to find her gone.”

Closing her eyes Alice sat down heavily on one of the
chairs.  Once again Margaret had entered their lives
just long enough to destroy the relative peace they
had managed to regain.  “Did she leave thee a note?”

“No, there was nothing.”

Silence fell over them as they contemplated the woman
that had destroyed their lives yet again.  No words
could be said; there was nothing they could do.

“Miz Alice!”  Running down the stairs Ruby Mae broke
the silence with her yelling, entering the room with
wide eyes.  “Miz Christy ain’t there, her bed ain’t
been slept in neither!”

Alice stood and moved to the stairs.  Surely she
hadn’t left!  Alice hadn’t had a chance to speak with
her yet and as the older woman climbed the stairs she
prayed the young woman had not left the cove. 
Hurrying into her room she saw that all of her things
were still there.  She hadn’t fled then, Alice
breathed a sigh of relief.  But where was Christy? 
Back down stairs she stood before everyone to have
them answer her questions.

“When was the last time anyone saw Christy?”

“When she fled the schoolhouse.  I never saw her come
home that night,” David answered.

“I see’d her head’n up ta God'z Fist's way, Miz Alice,
but I aint nevuh see’d her come down.”

“She didn’t come back to the mission last night?” Neil
asked, his voice filled with worry.  “Anything could
have happened to her!”

Alice sprang into action.  “Ruby Mae, thee will head
east, tell every man to gather at the mission.  Neil
thee will head north and David thee will head south. 
I shall go east.  Everyone meet back here in four
hour’s time.  We shall search the cove for Christy
until we have found her.”

Each one heading out, the three adults on horseback
and Ruby Mae at her fastest running speed, they spread
the word of the missing teacher and within the hour
the entire cove was searching the mountain, combing
every inch of it for their teacher.  Children and
adults alike yelled out to her but none heard a
response.  When the four hours had passed the cove
gathered before the mission house, women carrying
pitcher of water to the thirty men and older boys.

Standing on the mission porch Alice’s fear began to
grow heavier in her heart.  Refusing to allow it room
to continue growing she stamped it out by speaking to
the crowd that had gathered.  “We must continue
looking.  One group in each direction; north south,
east and west.  When thee have found her fire off a
shot of thy rifle so we will know she is safe.  We
must keep going.  She has been missing since yesterday
and anything could have happened to her as thee all
know too well.”

The group dispersed yet again, one group starting off
in each direction, and for hours they continued to
comb the cove, searching, calling, praying that they
would find the lost woman.  As Miss Alice was heading
towards Gods Fist, just in case she was still there,
when she heard a rifle shot and closed her eyes, a
tear falling as she thanked God that Christy had been
found.  Turning Goldie around she headed back toward
the mission house and arrived to see several of the
men had returned as well.

Soon all the groups but one had returned and they knew
that Christy had to have been found by that group. 
Time passed and there was still no sign of the men
that had found Christy.  Just when Alice was ready to
go off in search of them Rob Allen came crashing out
of the bush and running toward their group.  Stopping,
his chest heaving from his run, he took a moment to
catch his breath before he could answer the questions
that were being thrown at him.

“No, we ain’t found Miz Christy.  Pa had ta shoot a
mount’n cat ‘fore it kilt Mr. Spencer.  I come a
runnin’ ta tell y’all so’z ya’d keep lookin’”

The worry that had begun to abate rose again in full
force and the men quickly scrambled to begin their
search once more.  Each group split off in their
various directions and Alice fervently prayed that
they would find Christy before it was too late.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


The blackness that had offered her freedom from the
pain in her head was beginning to drift away and with
a groan Christy woke, head pounding, ears still
ringing.  Opening her eyes she saw that the world
around her was dark, very dark, but even the few
things she could see were blurred, fuzzy on the edges,
and Christy knew she was in trouble.  She had a
concussion.

Forcing herself to move her body Christy discovered
that her hands were bound behind her back and her feet
as well.  She was trapped.  Raising her head as best
she could, trying to ignore the pounding, searing pain
that it caused she looked around at what she could
see.  She was in a cave; that much she knew by the
feel of the wall at her back.  

The pain becoming too much she lowered her head to the
ground and tried to remember what had happened.  The
last thing she could recall was walking in the woods,
trying to clear her head of the questions that still
resided there.  The pain of remembering was too much
and Christy closed her eyes against the tears she
could feel forming there.  She had been kidnapped. 
She had been hurt.  And Christy knew that if she
didn’t stay awake, fight the sleepiness that was
hovering over her like a warm blanket on a frigid day,
that she would never wake again.

As she fought to stay awake a noise caught her
attention and she looked to the mouth of the little
cave at the person who stood there now.  Though the
sun at their back hid their face Christy could see a
heavy branch outlined by the sun and she knew that
this was her attacker, this was the person who had
kidnapped her.  As she stared at her keeper Christy
watched as the person suddenly bent over in two and a
loud, deep, wet, hacking, cough filling the air where
silence had once resided.

“Margaret.”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Three


Closing her eyes Christy’s head rolled back onto the
ground, pain burning behind her eyes, through out her
whole head the pain seared a path of destruction until
she prayed for unconsciousness to take her again. 
Eyes closed, listening to Margaret cough as she
entered the cave she wondered why the woman had
attacked her.  What had she done except encourage
Margaret to fight for Neil?  Why had she attacked her?

The coughing ceased and Margaret's labored breathing
filled the air.  Shuffling over to Christy’s side she
kicked her as she passed, the blow landing in
Christy’s midsection causing her to double up, biting
back a scream of pain.  Moaning, wishing she could use
her hands to hold her pained midsection, Christy
listened as Margaret laughed at what she had caused.

“Hurts doesn’t it?” she said, her tone as icy as a
winters roof.  “Now you know how it feels to have your
husband go chasing after another woman.”

Tears streaming from her eyes in pain Christy couldn’t
respond, she couldn’t speak; the pain was too great to
even catch her breath.  Margaret watched from the
opposite wall, her eyes dull as she watched the woman
writhing in pain on the cold cave floor.  For a long
time they sat in silence, Christy unable to speak and
Margaret unwilling as she pulled a flask from her coat
pocket.  There wasn’t much that Margaret was sure of
in her life anymore, but this was one of them.  

She was hurting.

Now it was time for someone else to hurt instead.

Hours passed and the sun was just beginning to fade
when Margaret left the cave to relieve herself of the
liquor she had been drinking from a large metal flask.
 Knowing she had to get away Christy tried to ignore
her pain as she tested the bonds that held her wrists
and ankles.  While her wrists held tight she could
feel that the bonds on her ankles slipping until
finally they were looses enough to slip her foot out. 


Praying for the strength to get up and move Christy
struggled into a sitting position, her midsection and
head both screaming at her to stop.  Ignoring the pain
as best she could, knowing this might be her only
chance, Christy kept going.  On her feet, unsteady,
dizzy and violently nauseous, she leaned against the
wall of the cave as she headed towards the waning
daylight.  

Out in the open, free from the cave she bumped from
tree to tree, falling against each one with a bone
jarring force, she made her way as fast as she could
away from the cave.  Suddenly, jumping out from behind
a tree Margaret stood in front of her, a wicked smile
on her face.  “Now where do you think you’re going?”
she said as she shoved Christy away from the tree and
to the ground.  “I didn’t say you could leave.”

Grabbing Christy’s hair and arm Margaret pushed her
back into the cave, tossing her onto the floor once
more.  Taking a scarf out of her bag she bound
Christy’s feet again before ripping the shirt from her
body and pulling off her skirt and petticoats off as
well.  Leaving the beaten teacher lying on the ground
in only her most hidden of undergarments Margaret held
the clothing in the air.

“You won’t be needing these,” she said.  “I’ll just
toss them in the river for Mac to find.  They’ll think
you’re dead and then they’ll stop looking for you. 
You’ll see, it can be great fun when everyone thinks
you’re dead.”

“He’ll never believe it,” Christy forced past her
constricting throat, the windpipe growing smaller and
smaller as Margaret told Christy her plan.  

Margaret’s smile grew when Christy spoke.  “Oh yes he
will.  He did once,” she winked, “He’ll believe it
again.”

Turning Margaret left the cave and Christy began to
work on the scarf that was around her ankles.  The
knot was much tighter this time but she knew she could
work it loose with the right amount of twisting and
stretching.  Suddenly Margaret entered the cave again,
the clothes still in her hands.  Shaking her head she
laughed at herself.

“Silly me, I almost forgot.”  Picking up the branch
again she loomed over Christy with an evil glint in
her eyes.  “I can’t very well have you escaping while
I’m gone, what good would that do?”

Wide blue eyes filled with fear as the branch came
swinging down, the blackness encroaching and taking
over much faster than it had the first time.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Four


Night had fallen quickly over the cove and as Neil
rode toward the mission to get a torch to keep looking
he forced himself to keep an open outlook.  There was
any number of explanations for Christy’s
disappearance.  Perhaps she had gotten stuck
somewhere, hurt her ankle, like she had that time with
the children in that deep cave.  Or perhaps she had
fallen asleep in a cabin somewhere that they simply
hadn’t found yet.  It could very well be that she
simply had gotten lost and wandered into unfamiliar
land, a part of the forest they hadn’t searched yet.

Dismounting from Charlie Neil leaned his head against
his friend’s neck and fought the panic that was rising
in his chest.

Who was he fooling?

Christy could just as easily be dead.

“No!” he growled, jerking his head up from Charlie's
neck and tethering the horse to the mission post.

He refused to believe that.  Not that.  Anything…
except that.

Heading towards the barn for a torch he heard
Fairlight calling his name from the mission door and
turned to head towards her.  Not saying a word she
motioned him up toward the door and on into the
building where he saw Alice sitting by the fire, a
scrap of torn cloth in her hands, tears falling down
her cheeks.

At the sound of his footsteps she turned to look at
him and Neil’s heart stopped cold.  Taking a step
forward he took the cloth from Alice’s hands, turning
it over in his own until he found the one thing he
hoped not to find.  There, on the collar, was a small
bit of embroidery, a tiny little C stitched with blue
thread that was the same color as her eyes.

“Will Beck found it by the river, caught up in a bush.
 There’s blood on it,” she choked.

Staring at the cloth in his hands, the reddish spot
that covered a part of the torn shirt, Neil shook his
head.  “No,” he said at last, finding his voice only
after a deep search of his heart.  “It’s not true,
she’s not dead.”

“Neil,” Alice began, her own heart breaking.

“No, Alice!” he yelled, his eyes wild as he met the
Quakers silent gaze.

“Neil,”

“Margaret came back,” he cried.  “I didn’t love her
half as much as I love Christy but even she came
back.”  The two stared at each other, silence unable
to fill the air as much as the memory of that night
filled it.  “I can’t believe it Alice, I just can’t.” 
Pausing he looked down at what once had been a
sparkling shirt.  “Not Christy,” he whispered at last.
 “Not like this…”

Alice stared at the giant of a man who stood before
her.  The nightmare of that night so many years ago
had played itself out yet again.  A woman they had
both loved, lost to the river.  Only this time there
would be no coming back to haunt their lives the way
Margaret had.  The river had stolen the brightest star
of Cutter Gap.  No thing and no one would ever be the
same.

“Neil,” Alice said again, her voice soft; the evidence
of her pain visible in the lines of her face and heard
in the tremor of her voice.

Before her eyes a man of superior strength, a man who
held himself together in the toughest of situations
and under the most extreme amounts of pressure,
collapsed into a chair, weeping, as would a little
boy.  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Five

With a sudden jerk Christy awoke, the pain that had
been burning before now flamed with a new vengeance
and she wished she could scream but her throat was too
dry and tight to scream or make any noise other than a
groan of pain.  Shivering against the frigidness of
the cave wall aggravated her wounds and tears fell
freely from her eyes.  Opening them as much as she
could, even the minimal light from the moons glow
feeling like the brightest rays of the harshest summer
day, Christy looked around and caught sight of
Margaret watching her.

Taking a breath to speak she fell into a coughing fit,
raising her hand to her mouth.  When it finally
stopped and her hand fell away Christy saw that there
was blood on her hands.

“Don’t you fret,” Margaret growled with a raspy voice.
 “I’ll make sure you die before I do.”

Fresh fear rose in Christy’s heart, a panic swelling
from within even as she fought to control it.  Closing
her eyes she laid still, her mind active as she prayed
to God, begging him to deliver her from the hands of
her tormentor.

“Oh no you don’t!” Margaret screeched as she crossed
the cave and planted her foot in Christy’s midsection
again.  “You are not going to start praying, not while
I’m here!  God!” she barked with laughter that was so
evil Christy felt a cold fear freeze her heart. 
“There is no way God can save you from me.”

“They all think your dead,” she gloated.  “They found
your lovely little shirt all torn and bloody in the
river.  You’re dead to them, just the way I told you
they would believe.  No, no, little girl… you are mine
now.”

Kneeling by Christy’s trembling body Margaret took out
a white handkerchief and reached toward Christy’s
face.  Flinching back Christy had nowhere to go and
waited for Margaret to strike her.  The soft strokes
that she soon felt were so gentle she could barely
feel them at all.

“You’re all mine now, and soon, you’re going to wish
to your precious God that you had never even heard of
a little place called Cutter Gap.”

The strokes that had begun as gentle and soft became
increasingly harder until Margaret's nails began to
scratch and tear at the skin on Christy’s face and
neck.  As suddenly as it had begun it was over and
Margaret had backed away to the other side of the cave
once more, hunched down against the wall, staring at
Christy.

Weeping silently, both from pain and from fear,
Christy had to struggle to hear Margaret's words.

“You never should have come,” she said.  “You don’t
belong here, this is my home.  He doesn’t love you, he
loves me, married me.  You don’t deserve him; he can’t
love you.  He couldn’t love me anymore, always leaving
me to go take care of his patients.  Always leaving me
alone.  How was I supposed to stay happy, cooped up in
that awful little cabin with its locked doors and
empty rooms?”

Rocking on her heels Margaret's words become lost to
Christy; the incoherent mumbling’s too soft for her to
hear anymore.  Lying on her side, dizzy, nauseous,
pain filling her innards from where Margaret had
kicked her, Christy prayed one more time for God to
deliver her from this nightmare before she lost
consciousness, the pain and exhaustion too much for
her to fight any longer.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


And now... Just because you all have been so patient
and understanding...and to keep Linda on her toes
(:o])...

Here's Chapter Six as well....




Chapter Six


How long had she been missing?

Christy had no idea; she had lost track of time while
she drifted in and out on consciousness.  Margaret
seemed in no hurry to be done with her.  Sometimes her
hands were heavy; blows connecting with her body like
rocks.  But other times they were soft like a friends
caress.  Christy never knew which one would come next,
never knew what Margaret's hands would do to her the
next time they connected with her body.

Lying on the ground, shivering, each tremor sending a
painful spasm through her body Christy closed her eyes
and tried to go back to sleep, there the pain would
finally go away.  She no longer cared whether or not
she had a concussion, whether or not she would wake up
if she went to sleep, she only wanted the pain to
stop.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Reins in his hand Neil walked along the path beside
Charlie, a slow pace set to the heaviness in his
heart.  He wasn’t sure where they were heading or what
they would find there; Neil was only walking.  Tears
still threatening to fall from his eyes as he
remembered the shirt he had held in his hands, the
faded bloodstain where the river had washed most of it
away, Neil stumbled over a root in the road and cursed
it for lying in his path.  Kicking it with his boot
his anger went unsatisfied and Neil kicked it again,
yelling.

“She did nothing!” he yelled.  “Nothing but try and
make this a better place and you killed her for it!”

Tripping over the root as he kicked it for a third
time Neil lost his balance and fell against a tree
that stood nearby.  Hanging his head he felt the tears
begin anew.

“Please,” he whispered.  “Bring her back the way you
brought Margaret back.  I beg of you… I’ll do whatever
you want, just bring Christy back.  I can’t loose her,
not like this!”

Though his words were whispered they echoed in the
woods, falling on the ears of the one whom watched
him.  Anger filled her chest, blinding her vision as
she ran up the small hill to the mouth of the cave;
furious at what she had witnessed she stormed into the
cave.  Lashing out with her foot she caught the beaten
women in her midsection once more, Christy crying out
against the pain.

“Shut up!” Margaret yelled.  “You did this!  You made
him turn to your God!  Neil never believed, he
refused, but you made him do it!”

As Margaret kicked Christy her voice raised with every
word until it screeched loud, reverberating from the
walls of the cave, flowing out of the entrance to the
small cave and through the forest to reach Neil's
ears.  Confused he looked up and around, trying to
place the yells of a woman.  There was no one around
but the screeching had to be coming from somewhere. 
Moving in and out between the trees he came to the
mouth of a cave and was about to enter when something
rushed him from within.  

Taken by surprise he flung the creature away even as
he realized it was Margaret.  Trying at the last
minute to keep a hold of her they both tumbled to the
ground, an entangled mass of legs and arms, he trying
to get up and she trying to inflict the pain that his
prayer to God had inflicted on her.  More than once
her fists connected with him until her coughing took
over, her body jerking in a spasm against the abuse
she had put it through.

“Margaret?” Neil approached her with concern for the
red blood that he saw on her lips, flowing out from
between them in a small river.  “Let me help you,” he
said, the doctor in him pushing forward even as the
man in him was repulsed by everything he saw before
him, the woman she had turned herself into.

“Rot in…” she began before another spasm took over
preventing her from finishing her curse.

As she lay on the forest floor Margaret knew her time
had come.  This was it; she was dying.  With her dying
breath she inflicted one last bit of pain on the man
who had turned his back on her.  “She was gonna marry
the preacher,” Margaret wheezed before her head lolled
back, eyes staring unseeingly at the clouds above
them.

Placing his fingers to her throat Neil felt for a
pulse he knew was gone.  With a gentle hand he closed
her eyes but found that he was unable to mourn her as
he thought he should.  Getting to his feet he sighed
and headed into the cave, wondering what she had been
hiding there for.  As he entered the cave Neil’s heart
stopped cold at the sight of the bloody, broken body
trembling on the ground at his feet.

“Christy!”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter Seven
 
 
She heard him call her name and her heart soared that
someone had found her, someone who could protect her
from Margaret.  Neil would take care of her, he would
make the pain stop like he always did.  
 
Crossing the distance from the cave entrance to her
side in one stride his heart plunged deep into his
chest as he saw her a little more clearly.  Dropping
to his knees Neil reached out to examine Christy only
to have her shrink away from his touch, her face
twisting in fear.
 
“Please don’t,” she whispered with a trembling voice.
 
His voice thick with concern Neil tried to reach out
for her, to try and access the damage inflicted on her
small frame, only to have her flinch back again,
cowering under his hand like a puppy that was
expecting a beating.  “Christy, I need to examine
you,” he whispered to her, his heart breaking at the
fear in her eyes, fear of him.

Her head told her he wouldn’t hurt her, in her mind
she knew it was the truth, but her heart couldn’t
escape the fear of seeing that had coming at her from
above.  ‘It’s Neil,’ she told herself, ‘Neil won’t
hurt me.’  But still her heart was seized by the fear
of his approaching hand, remembering all the pain that
the other hands had brought with it.
 
Wondering what Margaret had done to Christy to instill
such fear in the young woman Neil knew that he had to
gain her trust again before he could attempt to heal
her wounds.  Lying down on the cold ground next to
Christy Neil placed his hand in her sight, just a few
inches away from her.  She tensed at the sight of it
but didn’t try to move away.  
 
Raising her eyes to meet his for a moment she
glanced back and forth between his hand and his blue
eyes filled with fear and concern.  But within those
eyes, the bluer than blue orbs that stared back at
her,
Christy could also see his joy at finding out she
was alive, the love that flowed out from them.  His
eyes were patient, kind, and Christy began to relax,
becoming used to the presence of his hand so close
to her.
 
Seeing that she had relaxed Neil inched his hand a
little closer, waiting with the patience he had
shown her time and again while standing on the
riverbank
of his fishing spot.  When she was finally comfortable
with his hand being as close as it was he would move
it a little closer, eventually his fingertips were
resting against her shoulder, the gentlest of
brushing’s against her skin.
 
Christy froze at the feel of his fingertips on her
shoulder; her chin trembling in fear of that pain
she knew would come.  With her heart threatening to
beat
itself out of its place in her chest she closed her
eyes, a small whimper escaping her lips as she
waited for the pain to begin.
 
Neil’s heart broke when he heard the whimper escape
her lips, realizing that she was waiting for him to
hurt her.  Not moving his hand Neil began to whisper
to her, nothing words, but his tone filled with
comfort trying desperately to set Christy at ease. 
After some time, he had no idea how long, she
stopped whimpering, her chin stopped trembling.  After
a few
more moments her eyes opened to meet his again and
Neil could see that she was no longer afraid of him
touching her shoulder.
 
Gently he began to stroke her shoulder, softly
brushing the pad of his thumb in gentle movements. 
She tensed once more at the movement but he waited
her out and Neil was rewarded for his patience when
she relaxed.  Still talking to her Neil began to ask
questions, trying to gauge what was injured, where
it was that she was hurting.  With simple yes or no
questions he was able to surmise that her head and
midsection were injured the most.  
 
 “Christy, I need to examine you,” he whispered to
her.
“I need to see what’s been hurt so that I can fix it.
But it means that I’ll have to touch you,” he said
with as soft a voice as he cold muster, his throat
tight with the emotion of seeing her in such pain,
pain that had hadn’t been able to stop.
 
Christy stared at him, her big blue eyes glazed over
with pain, her lower lip trembling with indecision
and fear.  In her head she knew Neil could be trusted,
she
cold remember the times she had done so in the past,
but her heart; her heart was scared.  Staring at him,
feeling the soft strokes of his thumb on her
shoulder,
skin to skin, Christy could feel the warmth, the
tenderness, and the love that he was showing,
offering, with his one simple act.  Putting her at
ease, letting her see for herself that he wasn’t
going
to hurt her.  
 
Her heart screamed ‘NO!’
 
Her head whispered ‘Yes.’
 
 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Eight


It was Neil’s eyes that made her decision.  The blue
eyes that peered back at her only a little ways away;
so close she could see the little flecks of deep blue
within the lighter shade.  Those blue eyes that she
had seen snap with anger and spark with laughter
stared at her now with a misty haze of pain,
heartache, and despair.  But above all else, even
above the concern and the fear, Christy saw an
overwhelming joy.  What once had been lost to him was
now found.

It was the joy of the children that she saw within his
eyes that made her decision.

With the slightest of movements Christy nodded her
head, a move that was barely perceptible in the dim
light of the cave.  Seeing her nod Neil released the
breath he had been holding.  Slowly he shifted to his
knees and lightly pressed his hands to Christy’s
stomach and lower abdomen.  Even as she moaned in pain
Neil' worst fear was confirmed.

He’d have to operate.

Bending over her hear Neil opened her eyes, peering at
them now with the skill of a doctor.  He could see the
haziness, the delayed reactions, and the expanded
irises.  It was obvious to him that she had a
concussion and he was amazed that she wasn’t already
in a coma.  

Christy lay still through his examination, feeling the
gentle touch of his probing hands and knew, even when
he caused her to moan in pain, that she was safe.  His
hands were causing pain, yes, but they weren’t
inflicting it.  His words were soft and kind,
comforting her against the terror that had been a
living nightmare.

“I’m going to get Charlie so we can go back to the
mission,” he told her.  “Christy?”

Looking down he saw that her eyes were closed. 
Putting a finger to her neck he felt the slow pulse
beating beneath her pale skin and breathed a sigh of
relief.  She was unconcious.  Quickly he fled the cave
stopping only after he had passed the motionless body
on the ground.  

Margaret.

The bile rose in the back of Neil’s throat as he
glared at her.  Even dead she still managed to rile
him, to force his anger to rise past all the barriers
Neil had placed over his Scottish temper.  Turning he
reached for Charlie’s reins.  Let her lie there, Neil
had to save the life of a woman who had held a place
in every heart in the cove; a life Margaret had tried
to extinguish.

Bringing Charlie to the mouth of the cave Neil removed
his jacket as he re-entered the small cave.  Lifting
the unconscious woman into a sitting position he
gently wrapped her in his jacket, the large article of
clothing nearly swallowing her whole.  As gently as he
could, knowing he had to be careful of her wounds,
Neil lifted Christy into his arms and emerged from the
cave.

Now came the real challenge.  How was he supposed to
mount Charlie and keep a firm yet gentle hold on
Christy?  Standing before his old friend Neil tried to
think of a way but found it was impossible to do
without doing further, and possible life threatening,
damage to Christy.  He’d have to walk.  Cradling
Christy in his arms he set out towards the mission,
stepping as gently, yet as swiftly, as he could.

Walking though the forest Neil kept an eye on the path
but his gaze kept drifting to the beaten and bloody
woman in his arms.  Her face was a swirling mixture of
reds, blues, blacks, and deep purples.  Along one
cheek and part of her neck he saw what looked like
claw marks and Neil realized part of what Margaret had
done.  Once again his stomach lurched at the thought
of what had happened to the innocent young woman who
had come to his home to teach the equally innocent
children.

Neil’s heart cried, it wept for everything that had
happened, what he knew and, even more so, what he did
not know.  What other tortures had Margaret committed,
what travesties had she inflicted on Christy?  And
most of all…

Why?


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Nine


Sitting in the mission parlor, trying to read her
Bible but finding it impossible, Alice’s mind kept
straying towards the empty schoolhouse.  It was
Tuesday; the building should have been alive with the
laughter and singsong voices of the children.  But
instead it stood silent, empty, a testimony of what
had been lost to the cove; the heart of the children
was gone.

Tears threatened to overwhelm her once more and Alice
refused to allow them to spring free of her eyes.  Her
heart ached for the young woman who’s smiling blue
eyes she would no longer see each morning, the teacher
who had taught so many people other than the children.

Christy had taught Neil to love again, she had taught
Fairlight to read, Opal had been given a new hope
through little Iris; so many people had been touched
by her gentleness, her zeal for life.  She was a
bright star that was forever darkened from the Cove
sky.

Needing to do something to occupy her mind Alice stood
and went to grab a scrub brush and bucket to scour the
mud from the floor by the doorway.  Standing at the
pump her attention was diverted when she saw Neil
emerge from the forest, Charlie following behind him
and a limp body in his arms.  

“Neil?” she called to him, her voice tinged with
concern and curiosity.

“Clear and scrub the table Alice, I need to operate!”

Hurrying to do as he asked Alice disappeared inside;
wondering who the person was that needed Neil’s
skills, his gifts as a healer.  As she was finishing
she heard his boots climbing up the stairs with heavy
steps under the burden of the woman or man he carried.
 Turning to get a table for his instruments Alice
turned away as Neil set the person on the table and
began to un wrap their body, exposing them to the
world again.

Turning back from setting up a second table Alice’s
eyes fell upon the beaten, bloody, bruised face of the
injured person Neil had carried into the mission.  She
saw the smooth creamy skin that was paled under the
crimson flow of blood streaming from the many cuts and
deep wounds on her face.  Soft locks of brown hair
were matted to her face, clinging in the dried
rivulets of blood from long ago wounds.

“Oh dear Lord…” she breathed, unable to think of
anything else, her mind blank.

Turning from setting up his instruments Neil saw Alice
staring, wide-eyed, at Christy’s unconscious body, her
time hardened eyes filling with tears at the sight of
the broken woman.  Placing a firm hand on her shoulder
Neil turned Alice around to face him.  

“I will tell you everything I can Alice, but right now
I need your help to save her life.  I need you to
undress her so that I can operate on her abdomen.”

With a shake Alice closed off her emotions, walling
them up for another time.  Neil was right, now she was
needed to help save the young woman in desperate need
of medical attention.  Quickly she went to find a
clean sheet so that Neil cold operate on Christy all
the while she could retain her modesty.  While his
back was turned, sterilizing his utensils, Alice
removed the last of Christy’s clothing and covered her
with the sheet.

At the sight of the deeply colored bruises and
contusions Alice wanted to weep all over again but she
reigned herself in, calling upon God to help keep her
calm and collected when all she wanted to do was fall
apart.  By the time Neil turned to begin the operation
Alice was back in control of her heart.  Watching as
he made the first incision she was soon too caught up
in the duties of being his nurse to worry about her
emotions.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Ten

  Hours passed; Neil had done everything he could to
  help Christy and now it was up to her to fight to stay
  alive.  With Alice’s help they had moved the young
  woman up to her bedroom and settled her into the bed
  before Alice alone dressed her in a nightgown and
  covered her with a quilt.  Sitting on opposite sides
  of the bed Alice begged Neil to tell her what he knew,
  how he had found Christy.

  “I was heading home,” he sighed wearily, rubbing a
  hand over his tired face.  “I heard a noise coming
  from somewhere and when I went to search for the
  source I found a little cave hidden behind some
  bushes.  As I looked inside something came flying out
  at me.  Alice… it was Margaret.  She was out of
  control, attacking me with everything she had.  But
  she was too sick.  A coughing bout took over and her
  heart gave out.  She’s dead Alice.”

  Closing her eyes for a moment Alice begged God to
  forgive her daughter for living a life without Him.
  Reaching for Christy’s hand, a reminder of what she
  still had, Alice nodded for Neil to continue.

  “I went into the cave to see if I could find out why
  she had been hiding there.”

  Neil paused, closing his eyes against the rage that
  filled his heart when he remembered what he had seen.
  When he continued his voice was thicker, his tone
  angrier.

  “She was lying on the ground, her hands tied behind
  her, ankles tied together.  It was freezing in the
  cave and she was trembling, dressed only in her
  undergarments.”

  “I went forward to help her and when I reached out to
  touch her she shrank away from me.  She was afraid,
  terrified that I was going to hurt her.  I could see
  it in her eyes, Christy knew in her head that I
  wouldn’t harm her but she was still fearful.  I lied
  down on the ground next to her and tried to show her
  that I wasn’t going to hurt her.  When an animal is
  caught in a trap you have to gain its trust before you
  can help it.”

  “That’s how she was Alice.  Like an animal that’s
  caught in a trap.  She didn’t know who to trust
  terrified that more pain would come.  I put my hand in
  her sight but kept it away from her.  When she got
  used to seeing it, when she saw that I wasn’t going to
  hurt her I moved it a little closer, inch by inch
  until I could touch her shoulder.”

  Neil's eyes glazed over with pain as he heard her
  whimper ringing in his ears.

  “She was so afraid Alice.  I can still hear her cries,
  her whimpers.  They keep playing over and over in my
  head.  Every time I close my eyes and can still see
  her, lying on the ground, trembling, bloody, broken,
  beaten.”

  Alice reached over Christy with he free hand and
  squeezed Neil's trembling one.

  “It’s over now, Neil.  Christy is home; thee have
  brought her back to safety.  Everything will be all
  right, thee will see.”

  “No Alice, that’s just it.  This is far from over.”

  Alice looked at him with confusion.  Christy was home,
  she was hurt, yes, but she would heal.  Margaret was
  dead; she couldn’t hurt anyone ever again.  What was
  left?

  “I don’t know what Margaret did to her exactly.  I
  have a good guess from the injuries but I can’t say
  for sure everything that happened.  But I can tell you
  this…”

  Neil met Alice’s eyes with a fierce determination.

  “Whatever Margaret did to Christy has altered her.
  When I found her it took me hours to get near enough
  to examine her.  She was terrified of me.  In her head
  she knew I wouldn’t hurt her but her heart couldn’t
  believe.”

  “Christy’s heart has forgotten how to trust.”

  *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Eleven


Sitting at the table in the dining room Alice waited
for David and Ruby Mae to settle into their chairs. 
They had returned from their work in the cove,
repairing the O’Teale’s leaky roof, a few moments ago
and saw Neil standing by the fire place, deep in
conversation with Alice about what would happen when
Christy awoke.  Knowing that they needed to be told
everything Alice had asked them to join her at the
table while Neil disappeared upstairs.

“Alice?”

Smiling at David Alice took a deep breath to begin. 
“There is a patient upstairs who is very bad off.  She
was attacked and needed an operation that Neil and I
performed earlier this afternoon.  She is sleeping at
the moment but when she wakes there are a few things
thee will need to know about her condition.”

“As I told thee she was beaten very badly, she will be
in pain for quite some time and will be confined to
the bed until Neil deems her fit to move around.  As a
result of the attack she is terrified to be touched. 
When thee are in the room with her thee must be
careful not to move too quickly as well as to keep thy
hands away from her.  I know thee will wish to touch
her but thee must not.”

Alice watched as both David and Ruby Mae nodded. 
Though confused by Alice’s directions they trusted her
and would do everything they could to help.

“There is one more thing.”  Taking a deep breath she
took each of their hands in her own, meeting their
eyes, searching them for a sign of what their
reactions would be to the news.  “The woman is
Christy.”

No sooner was the name out of her mouth than David’s
hand was yanked from hers and the lanky young preacher
flew up the stairs three at a time.  Running into the
room he saw with his owns eyes that Alice’s words were
true.  There, lying unconscious in the bed, was the
woman he loved with all of his heart.  Dropping to his
knees he pulled her limp hand into his own and pressed
it to his cheek.

“Christy!” he whispered, his heart soaring with
emotion as he realized the truth.

Christy was alive.  Kneeling next to her David was
oblivious to the pain that crossed Neil’s face, though
Alice saw it as she stood in the doorway with a silent
Ruby Mae, the young woman overcome with emotion. 
Watching the pain flicker in his eyes for a moment
before he squashed it out Alice knew without a doubt
how much Neil loved the young teacher.

Thinking back to the night that he had wept in his
arms when he had finally admitted to himself that she
was dead Alice was reminded of how powerful such a
small woman was.  She had brought Neil, a giant of a
man, to his knees that night.  Alice prayed that God
would find a way to work everything out, that in the
end it would be as His will intended, whichever
answer, whichever man, it may be.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter Twelve


Sitting in the silent room, listening to her breath in
and out, David tried to focus on his sermon but found
it impossible.  He kept watching her, touching her
hand to reassure himself that she truly was here,
alive, with him.  As he watched her David’s heart
leapt for joy when she began to blink and move around
a little.  Baby blue eyes blinked open and met his own
dark ones.

Those eyes, the blue diamonds that had sparkled at him
so many times, filled with tears, with fear, before
his very eyes and David’s heart began to sink. 
Knowing he had to reassure her, tell her that she was
safe, David took her hand in his and smiled gently.

The feel of a hand on hers froze Christy’s heart with
fear; cold terror gripping it tightly and she closed
her eyes.  Where was Neil?  He had promised her she
would be safe; where was he, why had he left alone? 
Christy’s chin began to tremble and she opened her
eyes once more to see David hovering above her smiling
at her.

‘It’s David,’ she thought to herself.  ‘David won’t
hurt me… its only David.’  Over and over she repeated
it to herself but it was no use.  The fear that had
gripped her heart was spreading over her and soon her
whole body was beginning to tremble, the movement
pulling at the stitching on her stomach.  Her steady
even breaths became short gasps of pain and fear.

Seeing the change, not knowing what was going on,
David dropped her hand and ran to the doorway, yelling
for Neil to come quickly.  A pounding sounded on the
stairs and seconds later Neil passed through the
doorway, immediately taking his place by Christy’s
side.  Knowing he couldn’t touch her until she knew it
was him Neil spoke to her trying to get her to open
her eyes again.  Hearing his voice Christy cracked
open one of her eyes and, seeing him sitting there,
she opened them both as tears fell freely.

“It’s all right, Christy,” he whispered to her, his
tone soothing as an herbed balm.  Slowly, letting her
see his hands first, Neil gently began to rub her
shoulder as he had in the cave, his thumb softly
brushing her shoulder with gentle strokes.  After some
time she began to calm down again and Neil sighed with
relief.  Telling her exactly what he was going to do
Neil examined her eyes, searching for a sign of the
concussion.

As he examined her head David, Ruby Mae and Alice
looked on from the foot of the bed.  Needing to let
her know he was there for her, needing to be connected
to her again, David reached out and stroked her foot,
gently, letting her know he was there to support her.

As Neil examined her he saw her suddenly tense up
again, her eyes closing, chin trembling, a low whimper
escaping her lips, so low he almost missed it. 
Worried at the sudden change he saw a movement from
the corner of his eyes and looked to see David
touching her foot through the covers.

“Blast it man!” he hissed.  “Don’t touch her!”  

Keeping his voice low Neil hissed the command to
David, motioning for Alice to get them out of the
room.  While the Quaker did as he motioned Neil turned
his attention back to Christy.  With David gone, his
hand no longer touching her, she calmed once more and
opened her eyes to see Neil peering down at her.  

“What happened?” she whispered.

“I brought you back to the mission.  Alice and I had
to operate on you to stop the abscess that was
spreading in your abdomen.  I need to examine the
stitches, Christy.  Can I touch you there?” he asked,
trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

Seeing Alice re-enter the room and shut the door
Christy nodded.  Neil turned his back while Alice
shifted the blanket and nightgown all the while taking
care not to touch Christy, so that once more Christy
would remain modest while Neil examined her.  Tapping
him on the shoulder she stepped back and Neil turned
to examine the stitching.

“It’s pulled a little,” frowning, “But nothing too
bad.  Christy you have to take care to stay as still
as possible.  I’ll do everything I can to keep people
from touching you but if they do you need to try and
stay still, okay?”

Nodding at him Christy’s face was solemn and Neil
wished he could make her laugh and smile once more. 
But first they needed to get a few things out in the
open.  Settling the blanket back over Christy he sat
on the edge of the bed and Alice took the chair he had
been sitting in.  Taking her wrist in his hands to
feel her pulse Neil said what was on his mind.

“Christy, I need you to tell me what happened,
everything fro the moment I saw you in the schoolyard
to the moment I found you in the cave.  Don’t leave
anything out, Lass.”

Christy opened her mouth to protest but no sound came
out.  Maybe it would help; perhaps telling someone
would help her to get over her fear of people touching
her.  

“I went to Gods Fist for a little while, trying to
think over everything that had happened.  When I got
back to the mission everyone was asleep so I went up
to my room.  All night I tried to sleep but I
couldn’t, I just kept thinking.  By the time morning
had come I still couldn’t sleep so I went for another
walk.  I slipped out while everyone was still asleep
and went for a walk.”

While I was in the forest I heard a twig snap behind
me but before I could turn around something hit my
head and I fell.  When I woke up I…I… I was…” taking a
deep breath Christy fought the tears that were welling
up in her eyes.  “I was in the cave.  My hands were
tied behind me and my feet were tied as well.  My head
hurt so much, I was dizzy and nauseous.  I tried to
get up but I couldn’t move, it hurt too much.”

“That was when… umm… that was when my kidnapper came
back.”  

Christy didn’t want to hurt Alice any further by
telling her whom it was that had done this.  But Alice
smiled at her, hands folded neatly in her lap.  “Thee
need not hide who it was Christy, Neil has already
told me ‘twas Margaret that hurt thee.”

“I’m so sorry Miss Alice,” Christy whispered.

“Child thee has nothing to be sorry for!” Alice
comforted.

Taking a moment to collect herself Christy continued
with the story.

“She was coughing when she came into the cave but it
stopped and when she passed by she kicked me in the
stomach.  She said that now I knew how it felt to have
your husband run after another woman.”  

Neil winced.  

“She drank from a flask for a few hours and then went
outside to do something.  I knew I had to get away so
I tried to free my hands and feet.  When I got my
ankles free I left that cave.”

“It hurt so much but I kept going, it was my only
chance to get away from her.  I made it a little ways
away when she found me.  Margaret dragged me back to
the cave and tied me up again.  She took my clothing
and said that she would make sure the cove thought I
was dead.  That she would toss them in the river for
Neil to find and that he would think I was dead.  She
hit me over the head and I blacked out again.”

“This time when I came to she was in the corner of the
cave coughing up a lot of blood.  She told me not to
worry that she would kill me before she died.  I… I
knew she meant it.”  The tears she had been fighting
began to fall in silent tracks down her face.  “I
prayed that God would help me.  Somehow she knew I was
praying and she started kicking me again, yelling and
screaming that God couldn’t save me now, not from
her.”

“All of the sudden she stopped.  Margaret knelt beside
me with a white handkerchief in her hand.  She started
to wipe away the blood.  Her hands… they were so soft,
almost like a caress.  But soon they were scratching
at my face and she was screaming again.”

Her face still remembered the pain of those nails and
Christy's chin trembled.

“But then she stopped.  She looked so sad.  I blacked
out again but when I came to she was gone.  It hurt
too much to move; it hurt to breathe.  I was lying
there, praying that someone one would find me and take
me home when she came back, screaming and kicking. 
She just kept kicking me, yelling that I had made him
do it.  That I had made him pray.”

“She kept kicking and screaming and suddenly she was
gone again.  I didn’t know what was going on.  I heard
voices but I thought it was my imagination until you
entered the cave,” looking at Neil, “You came and laid
down next to me and that was when I knew I would be
safe.”

As she finished her tale Christy’s words became
slurred together, her eyes drooping shut until she
finally was asleep again, physically, emotionally and
mentally exhausted.  Tucking the quilt around her
shoulders Neil brushed his thumb over her cheek,
wiping away the tears that still rested there, before
turning to Alice.

As hard as she had tried to fight them the tears had
come, soaking her handkerchief.  Raising her eyes to
meet Neil’s Alice saw that though his eyes were dry he
was as affected by the story as she had been.  They
sat in silence for a few moments until Neil finally
spoke.

“She was right Alice,” he said quietly.  Alice waited
for him to continue.  “I did pray.  I prayed that God
would bring Christy back, that I would do anything if
He did.”

Silence descended again as Alice took in his
confession.  “What made thee pray?” she asked after
some time.

“I don’t know,” shaking his head.  “I tripped over a
root and I lost it.  I was just yelling but somehow it
turned into a prayer.  But He answered it Alice!  I
don’t understand that.  I have never turned to Him,
never agreed with Him.  With every thing I do I have
fought Him but He answered it anyway.  Why, Alice, why
would God answer a prayer from someone like me?”

“Because thee is a child to Him.  Margaret was my
daughter.  As much as I hated her for all she had done
to me and to those I care for I still love her, as she
was my child.  Even though thee turned thy back to
Him, thy Father still loves thee, Neil.  Now it is up
to thee to accept his love and to make him a part of
thy life.”

Turning to look at the sleeping woman Neil suddenly
realized that any God who would give back the single
most precious thing to him couldn’t be as bad as he
remembered.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Thirteen

She could hear the crickets chirping under the night’s
moon and from the corner of her eyes she could see the
pale beams filtering through the thin curtain that
hung from the window.  Everything ached, from her head
to her little toe.  But most of all her heart was in
pain, aching to be held, to have someone softly
brushing her hair away from her face the way her
father used to do when she would wake up from a
nightmare.

But she couldn’t.

Every time someone came near Christy her heart froze
in fear, as she had seen firsthand this morning.  She
knew in her head that David would never hurt her.  Yet
when she had felt his hands covering hers her heart
had frozen mid beat.  Her body had trembled at the
feel of his soft skin against hers.  Even when she had
felt the weight of his hand over her foot through the
blanket her heart had stopped beating, frozen in fear.

Christy knew she had hurt David terribly; he was
worried about her and he wanted to help but she
couldn’t bear the thought of anyone touching her, even
a man she considered her friend.

Except Neil.

Frowning Christy stared at the dark ceiling, her mind
in jumbles.  Why was it that her heart didn’t fear
Neil’s touch?  Was it because he was the one who had
found her?  That he was the one who had made the pain
go away?  Perhaps, but Christy knew that it went
deeper than that.  Yes, he had instinctively reached
for her when he had entered the cave.  She had been
afraid of him at that moment.

But then, instead of picking her up and carrying her
back to the mission to be healed he waited, taking the
time to make her comfortable with his being there,
with his hands near her, closer and close until
eventually he was touching her, softly, gently.  She
had been scared, yes, but he had patiently proven to
her that he would not hurt her, waiting until she was
comfortable before pushing the limit again, giving her
time to get used to the new barrier before breaking
past it again.

He had won her hearts trust.

Would it always be like this?  Her heart freezing up
every time someone got too close?  How could she teach
the children if she couldn’t touch them, couldn’t wrap
her arms around them and hug her dear little children
close; both hugging and being hugged back?  What good
could she do if she couldn’t teach the children?  Of
what use was she to the cove?

“How’s the head?”

Startled she jumped in her skin, instantly regretting
the movement as it reminded her of the wounds
scattered over her body.  Turning her head just a
little she peered into the corner that the voice had
come from and saw a large man sitting there, half
hidden by the shadows.  It was then that she smelled
it; how had she missed the scent of pipe tobacco
before now?

“All right,” she replied; her voice dry.  “May I have
some water?”

Unfolding his large frame Neil stood and crossed the
dark room, picking up a glass from the bureau as he
passed it.  Sitting on the very edge of the bed Neil
held the rim of the cup to her lips, watching as
Christy drank, the water passing over her dry lips,
soothing her parched throat.  

“Not too much, Christy.  I don’t want to upset your
stomach too soon.  I know your thirsty but you can
only have enough to wet your throat, nothing more.” 
Pulling the cup away from her mouth he set it on the
table next to the bed.  “Let that settle first and
then you can have some more.”

Lying in the bed, throat no longer as parched, she
stared up at the man who sat beside her.  In the
shadows of the moons pale light he looked even older
than she had ever seen him before.  Tired, as though
he had been fighting something for too long and could
fight no more.

“How do you feel?” he asked her softly.

“Okay,” she whispered back.  “It hurts but not too
bad.”

“Are you still afraid?”

Closing her eyes for a moment Christy opened them
again but could not meet his eyes.  “I know that its
over, I know she can’t hurt me anymore.”

Neil gazed down at her, pale, sad, and he could still
see the fear in her eyes.  “I know what you know up
here,” he said pointing to his head.  Lowering his
hand to his heart he continued, “But what about in
here?”

Christy looked at the hand that was pointing to his
heart.  He knew, somehow he knew.  It should have
surprised her but it didn’t.  Neil could always tell
what she was thinking, what she was feeling.  It
amazed her that he could read her that easily while he
still remained a mystery to her.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say.  Yes; her heart was
still filled with fear.  But at the same times no; not
when he was with her like he was now.  Blinking she
changed the subject.  “You look tired.”

He could see that she was avoiding his question and
for now he let her.  There were too many things she
had to deal with to add one more to the pile.  “I’ll
be all right, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Were you asleep?”

“No,” he said.  A small smile crept onto his face. 
“But neither were you.”  Neil watched the barest hint
of a smile flicker across her face before dying in
that same second.  It was hope.  “What were you
thinking about?”

Christy's eyes fell.  “David.”  Neil closed his eyes
for a moment against the pain of the name she uttered.
 “I hurt him.”

“Christy, you didn’t…”

“Yes I did Neil,” she interrupted, remembering the
crestfallen look of the young man as Alice had
escorted him and Ruby Mae from the room.  “He was
trying to be nice, trying to help and I turned him
away.”

Neil shook his head.  He couldn’t believe what he was
hearing.  “Listen to me Christy.  You have been
through a horrifying ordeal at the hands of someone
you had thought would not physically hurt you.  That
is not something that you can just pass over or
forget.  I know that in your head you know you can
trust the people who are your friends.  But I also
know that in your heart your scared of them, of the
fact that one day their hands will turn on you, that
they will hurt you.  Give it time.”

Christy stared at him.  He really did know, she could
see it in his eyes.  “How, Neil?” she breathed in
disbelief.  “How do you always know what I’m thinking,
what I feel?”

Neil slowly raised one hand and brought it to the
corner of her eyes, brushing away the first hint of a
tear she hadn’t realized was there.  “It’s your eyes,
Lass.  I can see everything in your eyes.  I see the
pain, the fear, the uncertainty, but I can also see
the love that you have for your friends.  I know that
even through everything you’ve been through that you
still love these people, that you hope and pray that
you can overcome the fear that takes hold every time
someone touches you.”

“The eyes are the windows to the soul, Christy.  You
can see everything in them.”

Staring up at him, speechless, Christy could see that
he was right.  Staring into Neil’s soft blue eyes she
knew, beyond a doubt that the eyes were the windows to
the soul just as he had said.

And Neil’s soul was beautiful.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Fourteen


“And then, Iopened the door’n saw that ya wazn’t in
yer bed I runned back down ta git Miz Alice soz she
culd know ya waz missin’.”

Christy listened as Ruby Mae told the tale to her of
how she had been discovered as missing.  She could
hardly believe that it had been a week ago, a week
since her life had spun out of control.  Lying in her
bed, ribs aching, head pounding she wished that she
could beg Ruby Mae to stop but Christy knew the girl
would be offended. 

‘Besides,’ she thought to herself. ‘Pain is just one
more reminder that I’m alive to be in pain.’

“So Miz Alice told me ta go ‘n’ tell everyone ta come
help look fer ya.  I ran, Miz Christy, I ran s’hard I
thought fer sure I waz gonna bust’a lung!  But I kipt
runnin’ and…”

“Ruby Mae, thee has chores to finish, I’m sure thee
can finish thy story later tonight.”

“Yes’m,” she said, scurrying out of the room.

Smiling at Christy Alice set the tray down on the
table and took Ruby Mae’s place in the chair.  “Dr
MacNeill has given his consent for thee to have a
small bowl of broth.  It is weak, but it will nourish
thee.”

Smiling weakly Christy struggled, even with Alice’s
help, to sit up, just a little, in the bed.  Winded
from the effort she needed a few moments before she
could accept the first spoonful of the weak broth.

“I know thee is not comfortable to be touched yet but
thee is also not strong enough to hold thy own bowl
either.  I give thee my word I will not touch thee,
but I shall feed thee, is that all right?”

Christy gave a small sigh of relief.  “Thank you Miss
Alice.  Thank you for understanding.”

Alice smiled at her.  “I would be willing to
understand anything so long as it meant thee would be
here with us once more.  That is all that matters to
me, child.”

Christy fell silent as she listened to Alice’s words,
simple and true words that buried themselves deep
within Christy’s heart.  They sat in silence while the
older woman fed Christy the weak broth, not stopping
until the small bowl was empty.  Christy’s stomach
felt heavy but she didn’t feel sick.  It was the first
meal she’d had in a week.  Setting the bowl aside
Alice folded her hands in her lap and watched Christy
begin to drift off to sleep again.

This afternoon was sure to bring some excitement to
the mission house.  The Huddleston’s would be arriving
any moment with David and Jeb.  Alice could still
remember the first times she had met Mr. and Mrs.
Huddleston.  William had been a friend from the
beginning, as soon as she realized whom it was that
Christy had run after that is.  But Julia… 

Alice sighed.  Julia had been a painful reminder of
whose daughter Christy really was.  It hadn’t taken
Alice long to feel for Christy as she would a
daughter, the young woman’s zeal for life and playful
spirit seemed to rejuvenate her own love for life and
all its pretty things.  Christy had made a place in
her heart that had been torn to shreds when young Will
had found her shirt in the river.  It had hurt worse
than when Margaret left.  Margaret and Alice fought
constantly, but Christy and Alice loved each other as
a mother and daughter should.

Sighing again Alice stood, collecting the bowls to
take back to the kitchen.

She always toadied to the young.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


A commotion from downstairs woke Christy from her
slumber and she wondered what was happening.  As she
lay there listening to the voices her heart began to
beat faster, ‘It couldn’t be,’ she thought to herself.
 Moment’s later feet hurried up the stairs and the
door opened.  “Daddy…” she breathed in disbelief.

Tears sprang to William’s eyes as he saw his little
girl lying in the bed, bruised and broken, pain
filling her eyes.  Crossing the distance to her he
nearly forgot Alice’s words and pulled her into a hug.
 Just in time he remembered and sat on the edge of the
bed instead.  Staring at Christy he was unable to
speak, too overcome by what had almost happened.  

A strangled cry rose from the doorway and Christy saw
her mother entering the room.  She too began to cry at
the sight of her daughter.  Sitting on the bed,
Alice’s warning gone clear out of her head, Julia
leaned down and hugged her daughter tightly.

William watched as Christy‘s eyes suddenly filled with
fear before she closed them, her face screwing up with
pain and fear.  His heart broke.  Christy was afraid
of her own mother’s touch.  What had happened to his
innocent little girl?  What monster had done this to
her?

As Julia sat back she saw the pain on Christy’s face
and realized she must have upset her injuries,
immediately guilt washed over her.  “Oh Christy, love,
I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay Mother.”  

Christy’s voice was soft; she forced herself to calm
down.  Thanks to Neil's warning she had gotten the
trembling under control but it took her a moment to
calm her heart down.  Her head kept repeating to her
that it was her mother, it was her mother.  Opening
her eyes she smiled a forced smile at her mother,
hoping she wouldn’t see the fear in her eyes only the
pain.  Turning her gaze to her father again Christy’s
eyes locked with his and she knew.  He had seen
everything.

“Julia,” William said to his wife.  “Please go see if
the doctor has left something we can give to Christy
for the pain.

Fleeing the room, waiting until she was down the
stairs to burst into tears Julia sat on a chair in the
corner, heart breaking, sobbing for her daughter.

William waited until Julia was gone to turn back to
Christy.  She tried to speak but he silenced her with
his hand hovering in the air.  “Tell me what
happened.”

With slight movements Christy shook her head.  “No
Daddy.”

“Christy,”

“No,” she said with more force than before.  “You
don’t need to know that.  I was hurt but I’m getting
better.  That’s all.”

“Christina Rudd Huddleston I just watched you shake
with fear when your own mother hugged you,” his voice
beginning to break under the stress of his emotions. 
“Tell me what happened to make you fear your own
mother’s touch.”

Closing her eyes Christy begged God to help her father
understand.  “I can’t Daddy.  I know you want to know
but I can’t tell you; not yet.  Please try to
understand.  I know that mother would never hurt me,
it’s just that… she touched me too fast.  It
overwhelmed me.”

“What do you mean?”

Reaching for his hand Christy hesitated for a moment
before she laid her hand over his, her touch so gentle
that he could barely feel it.

“When Neil found me he tried to touch me.  I couldn’t
let him, I moved away.  In my heart I knew that if
someone were going to touch me it would mean that they
were going to hurt me.  I knew in my mind that he
would never hurt me but I couldn’t convince my heart
that it was true.  So he laid down on the ground next
to me and he inched his hand towards me a little at a
time.”

“When I would become scared he stopped, letting me get
used to it before he would start again.  Then he was
so gentle with me, he didn’t do anything that would
make me afraid or hurt me.  He gave me the time I
needed to trust his touch again.  But he did it little
by little.  Mother didn’t, and that’s when I get
scared.  I know you want to hold me and I…” her voice
broke as the tears finally fell.  “I want to be held! 
But I just can’t.  Not yet.”

Lowering his eyes to the soft hand that was laid upon
his William slowly turned his over so that they were
palm to palm.  He could feel Christy tense and he
stopped, never closing the grip to hold her hand, just
letting it lay over his.  “I can wait, Girlie.  You’re
alive and you’ll be okay, I know you will.  That’s all
I care about.”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Fifteen

Five adults sat in the main room of the mission house,
fire blazing, silence descending at the latest words
to be spoken.  Shock hung in a cloud surrounding the
three people of Cutter Gap after listening to Julia’s
words.  Alice had thought it might happen, she wasn’t
surprised to hear them, but hearing it spoken aloud
was difficult all the same.  David was shocked that it
was going to be so soon, but he agreed with their
decision.  And Neil… 

“You can’t do this,” he told them.  “She needs to be
here where I can tend to her wounds.  Taking her back
to Asheville to be cared for by city doctors of the
old school will only end up hurting her.”

“Neil, we know that you’re worried about her but we
simply cannot leave her here.  Not after this. 
Sickness is one thing, yes of course we worried about
her when she told us about the scarlet fever, but we
almost lost our only surviving daughter at the hands
of some madman.  Christy can’t even talk about it to
us, she can’t even tell me, her own father, what
happened.”

Alice and Neil shared a glance.  They knew Christy had
been upset by the events but why hadn’t she told her
parents what had happened?

“Please understand, Doctor MacNeill,” Julia began. 
“We almost lost our daughter at the hands of violence.
 I, we, refuse to leave her here when she belongs at
home.  I never agreed with her coming here but I let
her because I assumed she would be safe at a mission
house.  That is no longer true.  I cannot leave her
here to face the possibility that something like this
may happen again.”

Silence fell again.

Standing by the fireplace Neil wondered how he would
react if this had happened to his own child.  Forcing
himself to be honest he had to admit, it would
probably be the same.  Hanging his head for a moment
he studied the floor, trying to come to terms with the
fact that he was about to loose Christy all over
again.  

“All right,” he said at last.  “I’ll make a list of
what to do and what not to do to care for her.  She’ll
need some medicine for the journey; I’ll get it for
you from my cabin.  I have to ask that you wait a few
more days, give Christy the chance to trust you again
before you take her away.  We can make special
arrangements with the conductor for her transport
since she won’t be able to sit up.  You’ll have to do
the same when you get to Asheville.”

William nodded.  “I understand.  We’ll stay for a few
more days, that should give us enough time.”

The matter decided Julia left the room, climbing the
stairs to sit with Christy, the young woman sleeping
from the effects of the medicine.  William watched her
leave before turning back to the group.  Before he
could say anything David got up and strode out of the
mission house, needing some time to come to terms with
what was happening.  Not allowing either of them to
leave William spoke to Alice and Neil.

“Please, I need to know what happened to Christy.  I
saw you look at each other when I mentioned it so I
know you know something.  You must tell me what
happened.”

Alice took a deep breath.  Releasing it she met
William’s eyes.  “Did Christy say why she would not
tell thee?”

“Only that she was hurt and that it was all I needed
to know.  She said that she couldn’t tell me, but I
got the feeling that it wasn’t that she couldn’t but
rather that she wouldn’t.  I need to know what
happened, to know that justice was served for what
this madman did to my daughter.  Now she say’s she
can’t tell me so I’m looking to you to do it for her.”

“I believe,” Alice began softly, speaking more to
herself than to William.  “That Christy may have been
trying to protect me.”

William frowned.  “I don’t understand.  Why would she
feel the need to protect you?”

“Christy and I have become very close, William.  I
feel for her as if she was my own daughter and I know
that she too is very fond of me.  She fears that I
will be brought to blame for the actions of my
daughter.  You see, it was my daughter that did this
to Christy.”

Silence fell for a moment as he tried to accept what
Alice had said.  A woman had nearly killed his
daughter.  Not just any woman, but Alice’s own blood. 
He could see how Christy would try to protect this
information from them.  She felt too much for Miss
Alice to let them become angry with her.  “Tell me.”

Between the two of them Alice and Neil told William
everything that had happened, from the schoolyard to
the moment they entered the door, not leaving out a
single detail.  At the end William sat on his chair,
staring off at the fire, a blank look on his face,
tears falling unheeded from his eyes.  Closing his
eyes he leaned forward, dropping his head into his
hands, his mind replaying everything he’d just been
told.  Lifting his head after some time he met Alice’s
eyes.

“I understand why Christy wanted to keep this from
us.”  Leaning back once more he kept his eyes on
Alice.  “Since our last visit here, Julia has become
quite jealous of you, Alice.  She feels as though she
is loosing her daughter to you.  Not a letter comes in
which Christy doesn’t sing your praises.  I know that
Christy has always seen life through rose colored
spectacles, only seeing the poetry side of things as
she once quoted of you in her letters.  But it has
been very hard for Julia to hear about someone who
fills her shoes as well as you do.”

“Since we found out what happened Julia has tried to
pin the blame on anyone that she could.  If she were
to ever find out that it was your daughter that did
this she would never forgive you.  Christy has always
been a peacemaker; to know that the two women she
loves most were at odds with each other would simply
tear her apart.  Thank you for telling me what
happened but I must ask that you do not tell Julia.  I
will make a story for her, one that rings as close to
the truth as possible, but she must never find out
that it was Margaret who did this.  Never.”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Sixteen


Keeping her eyes closed, though Christy was awake, she
listened to the room and knew she wasn’t alone,
someone was in the room with her.  It wasn’t until she
smelled the rich scent of pipe smoke that she knew who
it was.  Opening her eyes she saw that it was
beginning to darken outside.  She would miss the
mountain sunsets while she was gone, mother had told
her they were leaving in a few days for a visit to
Asheville.  But she knew that she would be back in
time.  This was her home.  Once she got better she
would come home and begin her life again.

Outlined by the fading sun she saw Neil leaning
against the doorframe of the terrace doors, pipe in
hand; arm folded across his chest in support of the
one holding the pipe, eyes staring out at the sunset. 
‘What is he thinking?’ she wondered to herself.  ‘He
looks sad.’  

Neil sighed and shifted his feet but he didn’t turn to
look at her leaving Christy to continue to speculate
at the sadness that seemed to emanate from him. 
Watching him she realized that he wasn’t just sad, he
was resigned, as though he had given up on something. 
‘But what?’ she wondered.

“Why do you have to continue to bring this kind of
pain to my life?” he said quietly.  Unsure of who he
was talking to Christy didn’t respond; listening to
him instead, hoping that he was speaking to the one
person she had prayed so many times he would turn to. 
“Ma used to tell me you were loving but all you’ve
shown me is pain.  You took my parents before I was
ready, you allowed me to lose my heart to a woman who
would tear it to shreds time and again.  And now, just
when I thought I had finally found a woman I could
love and who would love me for the rest of my life,
you take her as well.”

“Is this my punishment for turning my back on you for
so many years?  To live alone, knowing that the only
woman I love is hundreds of miles away, living the
life she was born to, making it impossible for her to
live a shared life with me?  There are times I wish I
had never met her, never known the sweetness the was
in life, the joy at waking each morning knowing that
I’ll see her that day.

“They say it is better to have loved and lost than to
never have loved at all.  But I’m not so sure of that.
 How am I supposed to live each day knowing what could
have been, what never will be?  I love her, with every
ounce of my being.  If you truly are the keeper of all
knowledge then tell me, how am I supposed to live
another day without her?”

Christy's heart ached at the pain in Neil’s voice yet
at the same time it rejoiced.  He was talking to God;
Neil had finally turned his face to the warmth of Gods
love.  ‘Oh Dear Lord,’ she prayed silently.  ‘Let him
find your love so that he may find the way to live
each day in the world that you have so lovingly given
to your people.  I know he lives a hard life in these
mountains, but I pray that you’ll help him to find the
beauty of the life you have given him.’

‘And God,’ she continued.  ‘Help me as well.  To which
man does my heart belong?’

But Christy already knew that answer.  God had
answered that the day he had helped her to see the
beautiful soul of the man she loved.  She had seen the
pain and the heartache in his eyes, but beyond all of
that she had seen something that made her heart soar. 
In those crystal windows to a beautiful soul she had
seen the love that filled Neil’s heart, love for her,
only her.  

Christy had known right then to which man her heart
belonged.

“Neil,” she whispered.

Turning away from the window, his ears picking up the
sound of her whisper, Neil closed the distance between
them in one long stride and sat in the chair by her
side.  Gently he put the back of his hand to her
forehead and cheek, feeling for a fever that was
diminishing every day.  Satisfied he smiled down at
her.  

“You should be sleeping.”

“I want to watch the sunset.”

“You need rest,” shaking his head.

“Please Neil,” she asked.  “Only for a moment.”

Relenting, ‘The fresh air would be good for her,’ he
rationalized, Neil drew back the covers and, taking
care of her wounds, picked her up in his arms before
striding out to the mission terrace.  Leaning against
the pole for support Neil held Christy in his arms,
her arms around his neck, head resting in the crook of
his shoulder, and together they watched the sunset.  

Who knew how long it would be until she saw another
mountain sunset, ‘Though hopefully not too long,’ she
thought to herself, and this one was perfect. 
Standing, in the place she called home, with the man
she loved, on the verge of a new beginning, Christy’s
heart was at peace for the first time in quite some
time.

Just before the last ray of light disappeared behind
the mountain Christy lifted her head to face Neil,
blue meeting blue.

“I love you.”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Seventeen


Sitting up in her bed Christy waited for her parents
to settle themselves into their seats before she
began.

“When I first came here,” she said softly, holding
each of their hands in her own.  “I didn’t think I was
going to make it. After only a few days I had my bags
packed and I was ready to go home to you, to hang my
head in shame and defeat that I had failed.  I knew I
wasn’t cut out for life in these mountains.  I was
lying in my bed when Miss Alice came up to talk to
me.”

“We talked about God, and life.  She told me some
things from her first few years here and how she too
had had a difficult time when she first began her
work.  But there was one thing that she said that
always stuck with me.  It was at the very end of our
conversation.  She asked me if I knew who I was.  I
thought about it for a moment and realized that I
didn’t.  I knew that I was your daughter, and that I
was George’s sister, but I didn’t have any idea who I
was to myself.”

“I told Miss Alice that I wished I knew who I really
was.  Her reply has stuck with me since the moment she
said it.  She said ‘But you can know.  You’re
important, terribly important.  Each of us is.  You’re
unique.  So is David.  And Miss Ida.  And Dr MacNeill.
 No one else in the world can fill David’s place, or
mine, or yours.  If you don’t do the work that’s been
given to you to do, that work my never get done.’  I
have thought about those words so many times since
that day.”

“But I didn’t accept them into my heart.  The next
morning, bags packed, I headed out of the mission to
walk to El Pano.  But I stopped.  There was one last
thing I needed to do before I left.  Mountie, you both
have met her, had a little coat with all it buttons
missing.  I needed to give her those buttons back
before I left, to give her something that no one else
could.  As I was sewing them onto her coat she came
into the school and it was right then and there that
she said her first word.”

“She said ‘buttons’.  It was the very first word I had
ever heard her speak.  And it was right then, at that
very moment that I knew I couldn’t leave.  I was
needed here, in the cove.  The children needed me and
I needed them just as much.  When I came to the cove I
didn’t know who I was or what I was going to do with
my life.  But now I finally know, without a doubt,
what my life is for.”

“I will always be your little girlie and I will always
love both of you with all my heart.  But I am not your
little child anymore.  I’m a teacher.  And my place is
here, in Cutter Gap, with my students and the people
who are my friends.  Life in these mountains isn’t
easy.  It’s as far from easy as you can get.  But it’s
what I want.  It’s the life I choose to live.”

Taking a deep breath Christy looked at her parents.

“I won’t be going back to Asheville with you
tomorrow.”

Julia had listened to her daughter with a growing
sense of dread and when the daughter’s last words met
the mother’s ears that one little straw broke her
back.  “You don’t have a choice in this Christy Rudd
Huddleston!” she cried.  “You are coming out of these
godforsaken mountains like you should have a long time
ago!  You’re only staying because you think you’re in
love with that country doctor.  Well I heard your
little conversation last night Christy.”

“Then you heard what he said to me in return, Mother.”
 Christy’s eyes stung at the thought of Neil's words
to her the previous night.  “I’m not staying because
of Neil.  Nor am I staying because of David, or Miss
Alice.  I am staying because of me.  For the first
time in my life I know who I am and what I want to do
with my life and I am not going to give that up for
anything or anyone.  I know that you don’t like me
being here, I know that you’re scared that something
like this will happen again.”

“And I can’t guarantee that it won’t.  I can’t promise
you that I’ll never get hurt again because no one
knows that except for God.  But I am not going to run,
and I am not going to live my life in fear of what
might happen.  That is no kind of life.”  

Christy sighed.

“I love you mother, and you too daddy.  I love you
both with all of my heart but right now I need to do
what’s best for me.  Taking me out of my mountains
will destroy me.  This is my home now and I won’t
leave it.”

William watched as Julia stood from the bed and
stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her
in anger.  He knew he should go after her but the
tears in Christy’s eyes made him hesitate.  “Tell me
what happened, Girlie.”

Christy's chin trembled as she looked out the window
to the spot they had watched the sunset together.  Her
heart had been torn to shreds last night when he had
responded to her words, her hearts desire.  Shaking
her head she tried to dispel the memory and met her
father’s eyes.  

“It’s not important, Daddy.  You better go see to
Mother.  We can’t afford to replace any broken water
pitchers,” said, trying to offer him a playful smile.

Sighing he leaned down and kissed his daughters
forehead, grateful she no longer tensed in fear when
he touched her.  “I’ll talk to you later.”

Once he was gone Christy turned her head to look out
the window again.  Unnoticed tears slid down her
cheeks as she remembered the words they had shared,
her mind replaying the balcony scene from the previous
night’s tragedy.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Eighteen

Sitting atop Goldie Alice waited outside the cabin,
listening to the sounds from within.  She could hear
the sound of glass being broken followed by a long
string of oaths that made her face burn.  Never before
had she known Neil to speak like that, not even when
Margaret had returned.  Something had him upset, riled
to the point of being unable to control his fiery
Scottish temper.  Alice prayed she could figure out
what before he unleashed its fury upon her for butting
into his life.

Dismounting she wrapped the reins around the hitching
post and climbed the steps to Neil's cabin.  The
doorway already open she peered inside and saw Neil
wrapping a bandage around his hand, blood seeping out
from under it.  “Neil!” she cried.  Rushing to his
side Alice ordered him to sit in the chair while she
properly cleaned and bandaged his hand.

Letting her bandage his hand Neil was silent all the
while she worked.  Unable to meet her eyes he stared
off into a corner of his dark cabin.  When Alice
finished she sat down in one of the chairs and waited.
 It didn’t take him long to speak.  “What do you want
Alice?”

“I want to know why that happened,” she replied
pointing to his hand.

“I broke a beaker, end of story.”

“No, Neil.  Thee are very careful with thy beakers as
thee cannot replace them easily.  What happened last
night?”

“What makes you think anything happened last night?”
he defied her.

Alice sat back in silence for some time before
answering him.  “Christy has declared she will not
return to Asheville with her parents.”  Lifting his
head in surprise Neil stared at Alice with wide blue
eyes but said nothing.  “Needless to say her mother is
furious and blames thee for Christy's decision.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I know that,” she said with even tones.  “But what I
do not know is why.  What did thee say to her last
night?”  Neil’s eyes narrowed, peering at Alice in
suspicion.  “Yes, I heard what Christy said to thee
last night.  When I realized what was happening I knew
it was not my place to listen so I went inside.  Less
that ten minutes later thee stormed out of the mission
and raced off on thy mount.”

Alice sat up straight and met Neil's gaze.  “I know
that thee love Christy, Neil.  What I do not
understand is why I found the girl in tears after thee
left.”  A brief flicker of pain crossed Neil’s face
before he could stamp it out.  “What happened between
thee?”

“It’s none of your business Alice.”

“If it concerns Christy then it is my business, Neil. 
She refuses to talk about it but I can see that her
heart is in pain.  She intends to stay in the cove,
thee will have to face each other eventually.  I
suggest thee mend thy fences Neil, before it is too
late.  If thee is not careful thee will lose her
forever.”

Shifting in his seat Neil looked out the door.  “I
thought you wanted her to marry Grantland?”

“Who Christy decides to marry is her own choice, I
will not interfere in that matter.”  Alice stood and
moved to the door to leave.  Stopping she turned back
to face Neil.  “But we both know which of thee loves
her more.”  With a pointed look she left the cabin,
mounted Goldie, and headed back to the mission.

Still sitting in his chair Neil replayed the previous
night in his mind, wincing with each word he has
tossed at the woman he loved.  Shaking his head
violently he stood and moved to clean up the glass
he’d broken.  No.  He’d made the right decision. 
She’d see that soon enough.

Then why did his heart feel as though it had broken in
two?


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Standing in the doorway of her room Christy looked
down the hallway and saw that the coast was clear. 
Carefully she inched down the hallway toward the
stairs and down them as quickly as possible.  Once she
was on the first floor it was easier to move across
the flat boards of the mission house and Christy made
her way to the bookshelf in the main room.  Finding
the book she wanted Christy turned around to make her
way back upstairs when she saw her father watching her
with a deep frown on his face.

“You know better than to be up right now, Christy,” he
told her.

Smiling at William Christy motioned to the davenport. 
“Can we talk for a moment Daddy?”  Sitting side by
side Christy smiled when he hesitantly reached for her
hand.  Taking his in her own Christy met his eyes.  “I
know you are upset by my decision to stay in the
cove.”

Sighing, “I can’t say I’m to happy about it, no.  But
I understand what factored into your decision, Girlie.
 You’ve spent so much time here, too much time to just
pick up and leave.  Your heart is with these children.
 I can see it every time you mention them.”  Bringing
her hand to his lips William gave her a fatherly kiss.
 “I’ll never stop worrying about my little Girlie, no
matter if you’re with us in the city or out here in
the mountains.  It’s a fathers job to worry.”

“Do you think Mother will ever forgive me?”

Sighing again William didn’t know how to answer and
left the question to hang in the air.  In silence they
sat before the roaring fire, basking in the loving
bond between a father and daughter.  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Nineteen


“Why?”

Christy swallowed the sigh that rose in her throat. 
“Because I don’t love you like that David.  You like a
big brother to me; a dear friend.  I’m sorry, I can’t
marry you.”

Handing him the small velvet box Christy watched as he
took it before striding out towards his bunkhouse.  It
had taken her a week to work up the courage to tell
him and now that it was over she felt even worse than
before.  His face had filled with such hurt and
sadness that Christy had felt tears stinging at the
back of her eyes.  Blinking them away she refused to
allow herself to dwell on it.

Carefully she descended the steps of the mission house
and walked over to the school.  Equally as carefully
Christy climbed the stairs and stood on the porch
until she regained her breath.  Poising herself she
entered the schoolhouse to see all of the children
busily writing in their tablets.  At the head of the
classroom Alice finished writing on the chalkboard and
turned to see the young woman standing in the doorway.
 Smiling at each other Alice headed down the aisleway
to Christy's side.

“Thee should be resting.  Thee are not quite ready to
be here yet.”

“I can sit in the mission house and be bored or I can
sit here with something to occupy my mind.  I’ll be
all right Miss Alice.”

Nodding Alice led her down the aisle to a chair at the
head of the classroom.  As the children raised their
heads to inspect the noise of the chair scraping the
floor their cries of joy alerted the others and soon
the school clamored with noise.  It had been nearly a
month since they had seen teacher.  There was no
calming them down until a loud shrill whistle echoed
from the back of the classroom.  All eyes turned to
the large man who stood in the doorway.

“Settle down children,” he said as he strode down the
aisle, tossing his saddlebags onto the desk.  “All of
you take a seat,” he ordered before turning to face
Christy.  Leaning down he looked into her eyes.  Each
set of blue orbs was frosty cold; the words of their
last conversation still etched into their memories. 
“You shouldn’t be here.”

“No one is going to make me leave.”  Christy's tone
was clear.  She wasn’t going to abandon her seat for
him or anyone else.  Raising her voice Christy
lightened her tone to address the children.  “Children
why don’t you all get the science books from the back
shelf.  One per row and you can follow along for the
reading this afternoon.  Dr MacNeill has graciously
offered to teach any lesson you decide on today.”

One child from each row scrambled to get the beloved
books while the rest waited impatiently for the lesson
to begin.  While Neil paced the floor, pipe in hand,
the center of the children’s attention, Christy sat at
her desk, making some notes on her own papers for
later lessons, ignoring the mountain man.  Standing
off to the side Alice watched them, their tenseness
seeming to fill the room.  Neil kept his back to her
while Christy refused to let her eyes leave the papers
before her.

‘Oh dear Lord,’ she prayed silently.  ‘What has become
of these two?  Why has their love cooled so?’

When the science lesson was over the children were
dismissed for the day and they eagerly ran out of the
school to spread the good news, Teacher was back at
school!  Watching them leave for a moment Neil turned
to see Christy still writing her notes.  “You
shouldn’t have come today, Miss Huddleston.  You’re
not ready yet.”

Raising her eyes to meet his Christy pierced him with
a frosty glare.  “Since when do I need your permission
to return to my job, Dr MacNeill?”

“You’re going to do more damage if you try to do too
much too soon.  Your ribs are still too sore to be put
back to full use.”

“You don’t need to tell me how sore my ribs are Dr., I
know that all too well.  I’m the one who’s in pain
remember?” she tossed back at him as she stood from
the desk.

“Blast it woman, I am trying to help you!  Why do you
have to be so stubborn about this?” he said, his voice
rising in his anger.

“I don’t know, Dr,” she cried, her voice rising as
well, the discussion quickly becoming heated. 
“Perhaps I’ve become so stubborn from being near you
too often.  Well that is one thing I can solve very
quickly!  Good day Dr. MacNeill.”

Leaving the schoolhouse Christy descended the stairway
before Alice could stop her, warn her to be careful. 
Striding across the yard she climbed the stairs of the
mission and the stairs to the second floor, not
stopping until she was in her room.  There she fell
onto the bed, tears streaming from her eyes, pain
assaulting both her ribs and her heart.  Both still
throbbing she stared at the double doors that led to
the porch.  

Had it truly been over a week ago that she had opened
her heart to the stubborn Scott only to have her heart
broken to smithereens?  Closing her eyes Christy
pictured that night, replaying it in her head like a
flipbook cartoon.

He had stared at her with wide-open eyes after she had
whispered those three little words.  The sun was gone
but there was still enough light to see his eyes begin
to shimmer.  ‘No you don’t,’ he’d told her.

She’s been too shocked to protest when he took her
inside and laid her back on the bed.  ‘Neil!’

‘No, Christy,’ he’d cut her off.  ‘You don’t know what
you’re saying.  You’re leaving for Asheville soon and
you’re scared.  You’re just saying whatever you can so
that you don’t have to go.’

She’d been dumbfounded.  ‘Is that what you really
think?’

‘I don’t think it, I know it.  You feel comfortable
with me and that’s all.  I can’t let you mistake
comfort for love, Christy.  You’ll be leaving with
your parents in two days.’

Tears had begun to sting at her eyes.  ‘You… you want
me to leave?’

The conversation was breaking his heart but Neil had
put on a stoic face.  ‘Yes, I do.  You could have died
here, Christy.  The mountains aren’t the place for
you.’

‘This is my home, Neil!’ she'd cried, her pain and
sadness turning to anger at his declaration.

‘No,’ he’d corrected, his voice hard.  ‘This is your
job, your home is in Asheville with the rest of
society.’

She stared at him as he shut the double doors to the
balcony of the mission, searching his face for some
sign of his love, the love she knew she had heard in
his prayer only a few moments ago.  But there had been
none.  His face had been blank and he had refused to
let her see his eyes.  

‘Tell me you don’t love me, Neil.  Look me in the
eyes, say the words and I’ll go.’

He had turned around to face her.  ‘I don’t love you,
Christy.’

Neil had fled the room but it was too late, Christy
had seen the truth.  He did love her, but he was
forcing her to leave all the same.  ‘You’re lying,’
she had yelled at him just before he could shut the
door.

Burying her head in her pillow Christy had cried
herself to sleep that night.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter Twenty

Months had passed and Christy was back to her normal
duties as teacher to the cove’s children.  Her
parents, though usually her father, had taken to
calling at least once a week just to make sure she was
all right and to say hello.  With a lot of prayer,
perseverance, and patience she had convinced her heart
to trust her friends of the cove again and life had
returned almost to normal for the young woman.  There
was only one flaw in her life.

Her friendship with Neil was gone.

They little to no interaction with each other anymore.
 Neil took care to only show up at the mission if it
was a medical emergency or if he was coming to the
school for the weekly science lesson.  Christy made
herself scarce during those times as well.  But she
refused to dwell on it; refused to allow herself to
become weighed down by the pain and sadness that fact
brought to her life.  Especially today.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the bride and
groom, Mr. and Mrs. John Spencer!”

Applause sounded out from the crowd that had gathered
to celebrate John and Bessie’s wedding.  Soon, food
already consumed, the dancing began.  Standing in the
kitchen with Opal, they refused to let the mother of
the groom do any work on this special day, Christy
watched the newlyweds dancing in the middle of a crowd
and she smiled at them.  While she wished they had
waited some time to get married she couldn’t help but
be happy for them.  It was obvious to everyone that
they were in love.

“Hit be a shame that Miz Alice cain’t be ‘ere ta see
the young’ns marry.”

“Yes it is,” Christy agreed, turning her attention
back to the pie plate she was scrubbing.  “But her
trip to Cataleechie just couldn’t wait any longer. 
She was hoping to be back by today, I know she;s sorry
she missed it.  I’m sure she’ll say a prayer for their
union though.”

Seeing Neil cross the yard to speak with one of the
men Opal looked to see if Christy had seen him or not.
 Though her face was turned down toward the wash water
Opal could see Christy's jaw tense.  Yes, she had seen
him.  Shaking her head she let it go for now.  Both
she and Fairlight had tried talking to Christy but she
refused to tell anyone what had happened between the
two people.  

The entire cove knew that David had withdrawn his
proposal, Christy herself promoting that rumor to help
David save face, but no one seemed to know why the
close knit friendship, the hidden love between Neil
and Christy had cooled off so much.  It was a hot
mystery that no one seemed to be able to solve.

In the middle of the celebration a rider came racing
in, pulling to a stop and scanning the crowd.  When he
found the man he was looking for the rider dismounted
and headed straight for Neil.  “Ya be needed, Doc. 
Thar waz sum fudin’ o’er near Big Lick, mor’an one boy
dun been shot.  We need yer help.”

“How many, Peter?” Neil asked as he hurried over to
Charlie, the horse tied to the hitching post.

“Whal now, I’d say bouts three, m’be four.”

Growling in frustration Neil mounted Charlie and
looked across to Christy.  “I’ll need help.”  

With Alice in Cataleechie and Dan Scott gone home for
a visit she was the only one left and they both knew
it.  Without hesitation Christy nodded.  This was no
time to refuse him just because of their personal
problems.  Not when there were lives on the line.

“Rob Allen, saddle Buttons,” she called out before
disappearing into the mission house.  

When she emerged a moment later with her coat, riding
gloves and hat Rob was leading the saddled horse to
the mission stairs.  Mounting the horse Christy nodded
to Neil and they were off.  The ride was fast and
silent, both by choice and need.  Only after they
arrived early the next morning did either one say a
word.

“I’ll scrub the table and boil some water,” Christy
said when she saw the cabin.  

“All right,” Neil replied.

Silence again fell as they went about their separate
chores.  While Neil examined the boys, there were
three of them, Christy scrubbed down the only table
that was large enough.  Asking one of the men standing
nearby to set up a sawhorse and plank for the Dr.’s
instruments she scrubbed that too before Neil
approached to unload and sterilize his tools.

Side by side they worked; the only words were that of
he asking for another instrument and she supplying it.
 After more hours than either of them could count they
finally finished.  Staying the night to make sure the
boys would be all right Neil gave them a little bit of
the medicine they would need before he and Christy set
out again for Cutter Gap.  Though the ride was at a
slower pace the silence was just as deafening.  Still
some ways away from the cove Neil pulled Charlie to a
stop.

“We’ll need to find shelter for the night.  It’s going
to rain.  There’s a small cave near here that we can
use.”

Glancing at the sky Christy nodded and followed Neil
into the woods to find the cave.  Finding it they tied
Charlie and Buttons to a nearby tree and settled into
the cave.  As far away from the mouth that they could
get Neil lit a small fire.  The silence was
uncomfortable for the both of them but neither one
knew what to say or if there even was anything to say.
 Against her will Christy began to shiver in the chill
of the night air.  Seeing her trembling Neil removed
his outer jacket and laid it over her shoulders before
she could react.

“I’m fine,” she began taking the jacket off.

“You’re cold.”

“You will be too,” she said softly glancing at his
eyes before looking away.

“I’ll be fine.  I was born and bred in these
mountains.  The cold won’t bother me.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Christy's temper flared at the
reminder of that night.  “And I’m just a weak little
city girl who can’t take care of herself.”  Taking off
the jacket she balled it and threw it at him.  “Keep
your coat, Dr., I’m fine!”  

Laying down she rolled her back to him and wrapped her
arms around her middle, desperately trying to get to
sleep before the cold set into her bones.  Grumbling
to himself about stubborn little girls Neil did
likewise, folding one of his arms under his head as a
pillow.  But sleep was a long time coming to either of
them.

The next morning Christy slowly woke from her slumber,
pulling the blankets tighter before she realized where
she was.  Sitting up suddenly Christy took in the
empty cave, the doused fire, and Neil’s jacket that
had been laid over her shoulders.  Ignoring the little
prick of a smile that was tempted to escape Christy
stood and made her way out of the cave.  Tossing
Neil's jacket onto his saddle she disappeared into the
woods to relieve herself.

In silence once more they were on their way.  Cutter
Gap was still quite a few hours away and Christy
desperately wanted to be back in the safety of the
mission, away from Neil and the reminders of what it
was her heart truly wanted.  Being so near to him
these last few days had been an all too poignant
reminder of her hearts desire.  It was becoming too
painful to watch him ride a head of her.

Suddenly a pair of men burst out from the brush with
rifles filling their hands and hate filling their
eyes.  Both of them raised their guns, pointing them
directly at the riders.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter Twenty One


Wheeling Charlie around Neil put himself between the
guns and Christy, blocking her from their aim.  “What
are you doing?  What do you want?”

“Yer comin’ with us, Doc!  An’ yer gal lady, too,” one
of them said.  “We gotz us a score ta settle wid’ya.”

“All right,” Neil tried to placate the men.  “I’ll
come, but let her go.  She’s no part of whatever this
is.”

The men shook their heads.  “Nope, Cain’t raghtly do
that, Doc.  She waz there, too, we dun see’d her.  Yer
both a’comin’ with us.”

Motioning with their rifles for them to dismount Neil
nodded to Christy and slowly got down from Charlie,
Christy following suit from Buttons.  The one man took
the reins and walked in front while the other stayed
behind, bringing up the rear.  Though he could tell
she was scared Neil was amazed at Christy's ability to
keep from showing it to the men as they were led
through the forest.

Soon they came to a cabin that Neil had never seen
before and they were led inside.  There, on the table,
a man had been laid.  One look at his ashen skin, blue
lips, and still form and Neil knew the man was dead,
the hole in his vest making him suspect it was a
gunshot.  Reaching out he drew Christy a little closer
to him, not sure what these men wanted, but knowing he
had to keep her safe.  Her eyes glued to the dead man
on the table she didn’t resist him, too shocked to
even think about it.

“Ya dun holped ar fudin’ en’mees but not us.  My
brother dun died ‘cause of hit.  They wayz I figger it
iz you dun holped them.  That makes you ar en’mee
too.”

“I was never told that you needed help,” Neil tried to
reason with the men.  “How could I have known?”

“Don’t make no diff’rence Doc.  Ya gots ta pay fer my
kins life.”

“But she doesn’t,” Neil pressed.  “She’s a mission
teacher, she had nothing to do with this.”

At the mention of the mission both men looked at each
other.  It was one thing to kill the doctor, but a
mission gal?  Nodding to each other they bound Neil
and Christy with rope, both their hands and their feet
and left them on the cabin while they went out to
confer between themselves.  Frowning Neil glanced
around the cabin, trying to get a feel for the men who
held them hostage.  As his eyes passed over Christy he
stopped, suddenly realizing how still she had become.

Staring at the ropes that bound her hands and feet
Christy was transported back to her days in the cave
under the mercy of Margaret's temper.  Her breath
became short as her hands began to tremble.  It was
too much; she couldn’t go through this again.

Watching her Neil suddenly realized she was reliving
the nightmare from months ago.  Scooting over to her
he reached out to touch her hands gently with his.  He
could feel her trembling.  Slowly her fear filled eyes
raised to meet his and Neil gazed back, his face
filled with a promise.  “We’ll be okay, Lass,” his
tongue slipping for a moment.  “I promise, I won’t let
them hurt you.”

Closing her eyes for a moment Christy took a deep
breath and nodded, praying desperately that God would
deliver them from this nightmare.  The door opened and
the men returned, their faces grim as they looked at
Christy.

“We dun decided ta let ya go.”

Watching as her bonds were cut Christy rubbed her
wrist, still looking up at the men.  “What about the
Dr.?”

“No, ma’am.  He gots ta stay an pay fer our kin.”

“I’m not leaving without him,” she said taking a deep
breath.

“Christy get out of here!” Neil hissed in disbelief.

“Let him leave with me.  We can stay and help you give
your brother a decent burial.  I’ll pray for him and
ask God to watch over his family.”

The two men glanced at each other but the one shook
his head.  “No’m.  Ya best git goin’ ‘fore we change
our minds.”

“You don’t understand,” she pleaded.  “There are
people who depend on the Dr. to keep them alive.  If
you kill him you’ll be killing more than just one man.
 You’ll kill the innocent children who won’t be able
to get his medicine when they get sick.  You’ll kill
the mother who needs him to operate on her so she can
bring her baby into the world and still be there to
care for it afterward.”

“Killing this one man will doom the cove and this
entire region.”

Christy could see the men beginning to waver in their
decision as she spoke and pressed on.

“What’s going to happen the next time one of you is
injured or the next time one of your children gets
sick and needs medicine?  He won’t be here to help
them if you kill him now!”

Looking at each other Christy could see that they were
thinking about her words.  “We cain’t jest let’ya go! 
Our brother dun bin kilt!”

“Whal…” the one man thought aloud.  “M’be we don’t
have ta kill him, m’be we could jest rough him up
some.  Break ‘is hand er somethin' of th’like.”

“Or,” Christy interrupted, not liking where their
thinking was going.  “Maybe I could do something for
you instead.  Umm… clean your cabin perhaps?  Or make
a meal for you both,” she offered, trying to give them
a more peaceable solution.

“Naw,” they refused.  “We gots us gal folk ta care fer
all that.”

A wicked gleam came into one of the men’s eyes as he
looked at Christy.  “You be one o’ them mission gal’s,
always preachin’ ‘gainst moonshine and fudin’.  I
tells ya what…” he grinned.  “If’n ya cans drink all
this here moonshine in this jug in one take, an’ walk
on outta ‘ere, we’ll let ya both go.”

Christy stared at the medium sized jug with wide eyes.
 Drink the moonshine?  All of it, without stopping? 
AND walk out of here on her own?  Raising her eyes to
the grinning men and then down to Neil’s incredulous
face she knew she didn’t have a choice.  Reaching out
for the jug she hefted it into her hands.

“Christy!” Neil stared at her. “You’ve never drank
moonshine before.  You don’t know what you’re getting
into.”

“Do I have a choice?” she asked him with a pointed
look.

Before he could answer she raised the jug to her lips
and gulped the contents of it down her throat. 
Pausing a few times to breathe she never took the jug
from her lips.  Her eyes closed, forcing herself not
to gag at the roughness of the liquid fire that burned
her throat, Christy drank it as quickly as she could. 
The last bit drank she removed the jug from her lips
and took deep breaths, coughing against the fire in
her throat.  Impressed the men let them go, laughing
as both Neil and Christy mounted, hurrying away as
fast as they could.

“Christy,” Neil began when they were a safe distance
from the cabin.

“Don’t say a word,” she stopped him.  “I don’t want to
hear a word from you Neil MacNeill.”

Trying desperately not to laugh, she did save his life
after all, Neil took the lead again and they rode
towards home.  He knew they had to make good time, it
would only be a matter of time until the moonshine hit
Christy.  Her smaller frame ensured that it wouldn’t
be long.  Only a mile from the nearest cabin, which
just happened to be his, Neil heard a loud thud from
behind him followed by an uproar of laughter.  

Turning he saw Buttons, her saddle empty, riding
towards him.  Quickly he dismounted and walked towards
Christy who was lying on the ground in the middle of
the trail, laughing hysterically at herself.  He had
to laugh.  

Christy was drunk.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter Twenty Two


Struggling with the limp woman in his arms, trying to
make her use her legs, Neil climbed the stairs to his
cabin and threw open the door.  Dropping her onto the
nearest chair he leaned her back and saw that she just
sat there limply, watching him.  Moving quickly he put
up water to boil some strong coffee for Christy.  

There was no way he could take her back to the mission
in this condition.  When she sobered up she would be
mortified if she knew that they had seen her like
this.  She’d be embarrassed enough that he had seen
her like this.

The entire ride home she had sang, loudly, to the
trees and animals of the forest.  Song after song,
most of them children’s songs, a few gospels, there
were a few of them that had made him raise his
eyebrows in shock that she knew.  Neil had never
imagined that Christy would even know a sailor’s song
let alone know it well enough to sing it, start to
finish.

“Thish ishn’t the mishun,” she slurred from her seat
by the fire.  “Where am we?”

Biting back his laugh Neil poured a cup of the strong
brew and took it to her.  “No, Christy, this isn’t the
mission.  Drink this, it’ll help.”  Taking a sip she
scrunched up her face and pushed the cup away.  “Drink
it,” he ordered her, pushing the cup back into her
hands.

“Don’ wan’it,” she whined, refusing the cup again.

“Christy I’m telling you to drink this!”

“Drink this!” she lashed out getting up from the chair
and pacing the floor with a sudden energy.  “Do this! 
Don’t do that!   Be this!  Wear this!  Teach this!  Go
home!  Don’t love you!” she yelled.  “Why are you
always telling me what to do?”

Setting the cup down Neil turned to face her, ready to
speak, but she wasn’t finished with him yet. 
Everything she hadn’t had the courage to say to his
face before poured out of her in a burst of liquid
courage.

“I loved you!” she yelled, poking him in the chest
with her finger with such force and fervor that she
forced him to back up.  “And I know you loved me you
coward!  But you didn’t have the guts to face me.  You
were too scared that something good might happen to
you, that maybe God wasn’t punishing you but rewarding
you for finally turning your stubborn Scott face to
him instead of to your books!”

Backing up, forced back as she advanced on him in her
drunken rage, Neil stumbled at the edge of the chair
and fell back into it but Christy didn’t stop.

“Do you want to know what I was doing the morning
Margaret took me?  I was picturing my children!” she
cried wildly, flailing her hands in wild gestures. 
“Little boys and girls with bright red hair and
sparkling blue eyes that were playing by the river!  I
knew I loved you before you found me but you refused
to see it!  I never stopped loving you, you stubborn
Scottish mule!  But you gave up!”

Pacing the floor, gestures flying about her as she
paced, Christy stopped suddenly and faced Neil, his
eyes wide at her revelations.  She simply stared at
him blankly for a moment.

“You gave up,” she whispered before the moonshine and
the events of the last few days overcame her.

Getting to his feet Neil scrambled to catch her as she
crumpled to the floor.  Picking her up in his arms he
carried the passed out woman up the stairs to his
bedroom, laying her down and covering her up with a
quilt.  Sitting on the edge of the bed Neil looked
down at her sleeping face.  Had he really correctly
heard everything she had just said?  She had pictured
her children?  Red hair and blue eyes… their children?

Staring down at her Neil knew he had made a big
mistake.  A very big mistake.  She was right; he’d
been a coward.  But she was also wrong.  He had never
given up, not on his love for her.  When he had
thought she was still leaving with her family Neil had
resigned himself to love a woman he could never have. 
And when she had stayed in the cove she had been to
hurt, to upset and to angry to allow him near her,
alone, so they could speak.

Yes, he’d made a big mistake.

And now Neil knew that he was going to do everything
in his power to fix it.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Drifting in the hazy mist between sleep and awake
Christy snuggled down in the covers of the soft bed
for a moment before the bell that was ringing off in
the distance became louder and louder until it rang
right next to her head, forcing her up.  Putting her
hands to her head Christy moaned with pain.  Her head
was pounding.  With every ounce of strength she had
Christy opened her eyes.

Neil’s bedroom.  She recognized it from her time here
after falling in the river so long ago.  Trying to
think around the pain that had clobbered her head
Christy vaguely remembered the men who had cut them
off in the path.  Trying desperately to focus she drug
the quilt off her and was relieved to see that she was
still completely dressed, shoes and all.  In the
corner of the room Christy saw the doorstop Little
Burl and Creed had made for Neil, a jug filled with
sand from his river.

Suddenly Christy remembered everything.

“Oh, Dear Lord,” she whispered, her voice
reverberating like a gunshot in her ears.

As quickly, and quietly, as she could Christy
descended the stairs and saw Neil asleep at the desk
in his laboratory.  Slipping out she unhitched Buttons
and rode away silently.  Her face was infused with a
deep scarlet color as she remembered everything that
had happened the night before.  The ride back to the
cove, the cave, the men, the moonshine… the effects of
the moonshine. 

Christy was mortified.

Her head pounding, stomach volatile, Christy rode back
to the mission.  Leaving Buttons at the hitching post
she entered the sleeping mission house and climbed the
stairs to her bedroom, falling gracelessly into the
bed and back to sleep, away from the pain of her head
filled with memories.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Slowly Neil woke to find that he was still in his lab.
 He had fallen asleep while he was still doing his
charts last night.  Standing he stretched for a moment
before going to check on Christy.  Neil had to chuckle
at the memory of the drunken mission teacher.  She
would be in pain this morning; he knew that one from
experience.  Climbing the stairs he saw that the door
was open and the bed empty. 

Hurrying back down the stairs Neil went outside and
saw that Buttons was missing.  Christy had already
left.  Needing to make sure she was all right Neil
quickly changed and went out to Charlie.  The ride to
the mission was short and in no time at all he was
climbing the stairs to the mission.  Hearing him enter
Alice looked up from her place at the breakfast table
and smiled.

“Thee are back from thy medical call.  Is everyone all
right?” she asked as she motioned for the doctor to
join them at the table.

Sitting in one of the chairs Neil replied, “Yes,
they’ll be fine.  One man was killed and the other
three will be fine.”  Glancing around he saw that
Christy was missing.  “I actually came by to check on
Christy.  She had a… a headache… and I wanted to make
sure she was all right”

Wondering if perhaps this emergency trip had healed
some of the breach between the two Alice replied,
“Ruby Mae is waking her now.  She was sleeping when I
checked in on her.  Thee must have returned late last
night; she had not even bothered to change before
falling into bed.”

As though on cue the two women entered the small
dining room, one looking bright and chipper the other
decidedly the opposite.  Though she had changed and
tried to freshen up, the bags under her eyes and pale
skin made Christy appear very ill.  With her eyes
closed she sat in the chair next to Alice, not seeing
Neil, and put her hand to her head, leaning forward,
resting her elbow on the table.

“Christy?” Alice said, her voice filled with concern. 
“Thee does not look well at all!”

“I’ll be fine, Miss Alice,” she whispered.

“Here ya go, Miz Christy,” Ruby Mae smiled as she
placed a bowl of mush under Christy’s nose, the
normally bland goo was flavored with cinnamon and a
bit of dried apples.

One whiff of the aroma and Christy sat back as quick
as a lightning bolt.  Swallowing convulsively she
tried to stop her stomachs reaction to the bowl of
food but couldn’t.  Jumping up from her chair she
escaped the mission house as fast as possible, running
to the forest to lose what little there was in her
stomach.  Alice sprang up from her seat to follow but
Neil held her back.

“Let me, Alice.  It’d be better if I go.”

Confused she did as he suggested, wondering just what
had happened while she was in Cataleechie as Neil
followed Christy.  Stopping at the pump Neil filled a
cup with some water, mixing in a little aspirin powder
and went to find Christy.  A few steps into the woods
he found her leaning against a large tree, tears
resting on her closed lashes.  Squatting down before
her he held out the cup.

“This will help with the pain,” he said softly.

Cracking open her eyes Christy took the cup and slowly
drank the liquid.  Though she gagged at the taste she
drank it all.  Her stomach cramped in protest but
thankfully it accepted the medicine, allowing it to
stay.  Handing him the cup back Christy closed her
eyes and leaned her head back against the tree.  She
was in too much pain to make him leave.  After some
time she heard some rustling and assumed Neil had
left.  After much more time she tried to open her eyes
and saw that he had not left but rather he was sitting
a few feet away.

“You should feel a little better by this afternoon.”

Frowning Christy wondered how she was going to teach
the school if she felt like this.

“Why don’t I take the morning classes so you can rest
and you can come teach this afternoon when you’re
feeling better?”

“Thank you,” she whispered after a moment.

Neil smiled softly.  “It’s the least I can do since
you saved my life.”

Closing her eyes Christy tried to calm the pounding in
her head.  They sat in silence for some time until
Neil stood and held his hand out to Christy.  “Come
on, I’ll help you back to the mission.”

Wishing she didn’t need his hand to get up, but
knowing she’d never make it on her own, Christy took
his hand and allowed Neil to pull her up from the
ground.  Separate and silent they walked back to the
mission house.  At the foot of the stairs Neil stopped
Christy from climbing them.  

“We need to talk,” he said.  “I’ll come by tomorrow
after school when you’re feeling better.”

Not giving her a choice Neil headed off to the school
where the children had already began to gather. 
Watching him leave Christy could feel her headache
begin to grow.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter Twenty Three




Sitting at her desk, the children dismissed for the
day, Christy tried to focus on her papers but found it
nearly impossible.  Her mind kept drifting to the man
who was to meet her here in a few moments.  All day
she had tried to think of a credible excuse to break
their appointment but couldn’t think of one.  Even the
children had noticed her absentmindedness, calling her
attention back to the lesson several times during the
day.

She could only wonder what he wanted to talk about,
though she had a good idea about what it was, the
night she had spoken so brazenly offering a plethora
of topics for him to choose from.  Christy was nervous
to say the least.  She was trembling at the thought of
having to speak with him about everything she had
denied herself for so long.  She needed to get out of
their meeting, she needed to leave, she needed...

“School’s dismissed teacher,” a deep brogue called
from the doorway.  “Let’s take our discussion
somewhere else, shall we?”

“Here is fine, Dr.,” she answered.  The school was her
domain, the one place she was in control and right now
she needed that little veil of control over what was
about to happen.

“Very well, I suppose here is as good a place as any.”

Closing the doors behind him Neil sauntered down the
aisle, pipe in hand, and took a seat in the first row,
stretching his long legs out before him.  Neil was the
picture of calm but inside his heart was rapidly
beating itself out of his chest.  This afternoon could
go wrong in so many ways that it scared Neil witless,
but he was determined to go through with it.

“I have many things to say today, Miss Huddleston, I’d
like your word that you won’t speak until I’m done.”

Staring at him Christy silently nodded her promise.

Taking a deep breath Neil began.  

“When I first met Margaret she had a spark in her eyes
that was like a wildfire waiting to burst out of its
shell.  I fell hard for her and we married before
returning to Cutter Gap to live.  It didn’t take long
for her to become unhappy.  She missed everything from
the city, the excitement, the danger, the people. 
Seemed like no matter what I did, she was never happy,
it was never good enough.”

“When I had thought she was dead I tried to move on
but I always knew that nothing would ever enter my
heart again.  No thing and no one ever did… until you
came,” Neil glanced at Christy.  She was listening
with a confused look but Neil pressed on.  “First time
I saw you was in the Allen cabin.  You were wedged
into the shadowed corner next to Ben Pentland and you
looked so small that I passed you off as one of the
children.”

“When you came forward I saw you completely and I
didn’t know what to think.  You looked just like her,
an innocent version of the woman Margaret was.  Even
though I pushed you to the back of my mind you never
went away, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,
wondering how long it would take you to become bored
with life here in the cove like she did.  But more
than one heart would be broken this time.  The
children had fallen for you and I knew that they would
be hurt if you ever left.”

“Though you still looked like Margaret it didn’t take
long to see that you were the better half of what
seemed like a two sided coin.  You were everything
Margaret never was; kind, loving, you had a zeal fro
life that sprang from your love for it and not your
hatred of it.  Margaret lived life to see how far she
could push at its barriers.  But you, you lived life
to see how much you could give to it, how much
happiness you could give to others.”

“I think I started to fall in love with you the moment
I saw you, in the Allen Cabin that night.  You became
a part of my life so quickly that I didn’t know how to
stop you.  It seemed like every time I saw you, talked
with you, worked with you, or even fought with you
that I loved you just a little bit more.  It’s a scary
thing to lose your heart so completely to someone and
not know how they felt in return.  I knew that I
angered you, I knew that you considered me a friend,
but it wasn’t until the day we danced by the river
that I thought perhaps there might be something more,
even if you didn’t realize it yet.”

“But then Margaret came back.  In that one moment
everything I had hoped for, everything I had worked
for was gone.  She had destroyed it.  I didn’t want
you two anywhere near each other.  I didn’t want her
to rub off on you and ruin the one thing in my life
that had meant so much to me.  But seeing both you and
Margaret at the same time reminded me how very
different you really are from each other.  Margaret
was pure vinegar but you… you were pure honey.”

“She left again but it didn’t matter.  Everything had
been ruined.  There was a wedge between us now that I
didn’t see anyway around it or anyway past it.  I was
still a married man but my heart belonged to another
woman.  Life went on and I had to watch as you grew
closer to Grantland.  I knew he was sweet on you,
everyone knew it.  He told me one day that he had
asked you to marry him and in that one moment I had
thought I’d lost you for good.  When he told me that
you hadn’t said yes yet I hoped like I had never hoped
for anything before.”

“After that everything seemed to happen so quickly. 
Margaret returned again only this time it seemed that
she was going to stay.  She was at the cabin and she
wanted to talk but I didn’t want to hear anything she
had to say.  I was through listening to her stories
and her lies.  She caught me off guard when she kissed
me and I didn’t react fast enough to push her away. 
That’s why you saw what you did that day.  She kept
telling me that you had decided to marry Grantland but
I knew it couldn’t be true.”

“I chased after you but you wouldn’t stop.  I knew I
had to talk to you, to explain before you jumped to
any conclusions.  But when I saw you, standing there
in the yard with that ring in your hand I thought you
had accepted him.  Then you sent us both away and
stormed off into the woods.  I didn’t have any choice
so I went back to the cabin.  Margaret was gone.  No
note, no clue as to where she had gone but to be
truthful I didn’t care.  The only thing I cared about
was the tears I had seen in your eyes.”

“The next day… well, you know most of that already. 
But what I never told you was what happened outside of
the cave just before I found you.  You said that
Margaret had come in, screaming about how you had made
him pray.  She was right.  I was heading home to the
cabin, we had just called off the search after Will
had found your bloody shirt.  I just lost it, Christy.
 I started yelling at God, but somehow in the middle
of all of everything it turned into a prayer, a plea
for him to bring you back.”

“God had answered my prayers but I had no idea why. 
Why He would do such a thing after all the years I had
fought against him.  When you looked at me that night
on the mission balcony and said..."  Neil sighed.  "I
knew I couldn’t let you.  I wanted to hear that with
every inch of me but I couldn’t let you do it.  I knew
that your mother was taking you back to Asheville and
I knew that they would never let you return to the
cove.  I have loved from afar Christy and it breaks
your heart every day you have to live without the
person that you love by your side.”

“So I lied.  I lived with that lie and I thought I
could do it, because I knew you wouldn’t be here,
you’d be safe, in Asheville.  But you didn’t leave. 
You stayed here in Cutter Gap.  I saw you almost every
day but it was different.  You had changed.  I used to
look into your eyes and know exactly what you were
thinking, but I couldn’t see past the anger and the
hurt anymore.  It hurt so much to know that I was the
reason.  That what I had said caused the rift that
settled down between us.  But every time I tried to
get close enough to talk to you, you would leave.”

“I thought I had lost you for good, Christy.  Not to
Asheville, not to Grantland, but to my own stupidity
and my stubborn Scott temper.  All I saw was the anger
in your eyes and I thought you didn’t love me any ore.
 But that night, when you were... when you were at my
cabin I suddenly realized that you had never stopped
loving me, you had just buried it so deep I couldn’t
see it anymore.  It was right then that I realized
what a stupid mistake I had made, pushing you away
like that.”

“I’m a stupid, stubborn Scott, Christy.  You know that
already.  I was a coward to have pushed you away like
that and, yes; I was more than a little scared.  But
there was one thing that you said that night that was
wrong.”

Getting up Neil crossed the school room to stand next
to Christy.  His blue eyes were misty as he had
spoken, his voice catching every now and then, but
none more so than his final words.

“Never, not once in all the time I have known you,
Christy, have I ever stopped loving you.”

Neil stood less than a few feet away from her.

As he had began his tale Christy had been seated at
her desk, her demeanor calm, cool, and collected.  But
as she had listened to him, as she had heard the
emotion sounded out with his words, Christy had found
her façade slipping until tears began to prick at her
eyes.  Rising from her seat she had turned her back to
him, staring out the window over the mission yard as
she had listened, hung on his every word.

And now, here they stood, she still staring out the
window, he staring at her only a few feet away,
silence descending on them like a blanket of fog over
the rolling hills.  Tears stained her cheeks, her
breath was hitched in her throat, unable to complete
it’s course in or out of her chest.  Christy's hands
trembled as she wrapped them around herself in a vain
attempt to make them stop.

Staring at her, the towering giant quaked at the
thought of her reaction.  Neil had laid his soul bare
to her like he had never done to another person, not
Margaret, not his friends and family, not his
mentor’s.  No one had ever seen so clearly into the
man that Neil MacNeill was that he had just offered to
Christy.  Watching her, hands buried deep in his
pockets, he held his breath when she finally turned
around to face him.

Arms wrapped around herself Christy hugged the pain
and fear that had settled in her chest.  “You hurt
me,” she whispered to him, turning her tear stained
face up to meet his.  “I opened myself up to you and
you pushed me away like I was yesterdays news.”

“I’m so sorry, Lass,” Neil whispered, his voice filled
with the pain that he had caused her.

Christy continued as though she had never heard him. 
“But you’re not the only one who played a part in
these last few months.  I know I’ve caused my share of
pain as well.”

Neil stayed silent, unsure of what she was going to
say next.  Tightening her grip on her sides Christy
lowered her eyes to the ground for a moment before
raising her eyes once more to meet Neil's.

“I propose we start anew.  Get to know each other as
who we are now.  A doctor and a teacher; one man
getting to know one woman and she getting to know he. 
I do still love you Neil but I want to get to know you
and I want you to get to know me.”

Taking a step forward to close the distance between
them Neil took one of Christy's hands in his and
brought it to his lips.

“I’d like that.”


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Author’s Notes:

This is not the end, merely a segue into the next
“chapter”.  I had originally intended to do these as
three separate stories but the more I worked on them
the more I saw how they had really clicked together as
one story.  So, this is the end of the First Chapter,
Too Soon Lost…Too Late Found, and next will come the
Second Chapter, Diamonds.  I hope you will enjoy it.


SEW
Lady S