Title: To Austria With Love Author: Anne B. Author E-Mail: anneb_neilmacneill@hotmail.com This is actually chapter one of this section two of this story. The first was "Prelude to Austria" and this section is the actual story entitled "To Austria With Love". Sorry for any confusion!! Sonja would please leave in the "Author's Notes"? I didn't have enough time to rewrite everything so I just added these notes to let people know what was going on at this point in the story! Thanks!! ~Anne Author E-Mail: anneb_neilmacneill@hotmail.com Summary: This takes place at the end of the book “Christy” by Catherine Marshall. I have quoted some parts from the book and please forgive me for paraphrasing a few sections from the book to tie this story and the book together. I have used a couple of segments from the CBS Series and possibly the PAX-TV Mini-series to bring out something’s that readers might be more familiar with. Disclaimer: the Marshall-LeSourd Family, L.L.C, owns Catherine Marshall’s beautiful story of Christy. I am in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. I am continuing the story of Christy for my own amusement; and hopefully yours as well. The writer of this story has invented any additions in story line and characters. The content of this story is the responsibility of the writer. Any similarities between this and other Fan fiction are purely coincidental. -=*=-To Austria With Love -=*=- (Sequel of "Prelude to Austria") Chapter I Author’s Note: Fuchs is pronounced: Fyooks. Sorry for any mix-up! Also this entire story from “Prelude to Austria” onward was derived from a line in the book “Christy” by Catherine Marshall. Miss Alice is telling Christy about Doctor MacNeill and she says that he is a man of dreams (or something to that effect) and she mentions his dream to be an associate of Dr. Ernst Fuchs in Vienna. I hope you enjoy it! We had just celebrated our six month wedding anniversary in Austria. Neil was doing wonderfully in his research and as an Associate of Dr. Fuchs. Everyone was most impressed with his knowledge and understanding of the human eye. He had studied at the Wills Eyes Hospital, but much of his knowledge was self-taught through his own research of the eye in his ‘locked room’ laboratory back in Cutter Gap. Dr. Fuchs was the most impressed. He had taken an instant liking to Neil and his knowledge impressed the Doctor tremendously. Every evening Neil and I would sit and snuggle in front of the fire and he would have stories to tell me of the days events. It seemed he learned something new each day… and so did I. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I was going to school each day. Neil would walk me there on his way to work and our housekeeper, Berta came to walk me home when it was done. Berta was more then our housekeeper, she was the cook, maid, and most especially, she was my companion and dear friend. She attended the same church we did. She was a selfless soul who never thought of herself before others. In fact, I don’t believe she *ever* thought of herself! Day after day Berta was at our home to make breakfast in the early morning and was there until after the evening meal! I had on numerous occasions insisted she take time off, but her reply was always the same. “I am a widow, Christy. I have no children and no husband; there is nothing for me at home anymore! Being here and helping you gives me a family to care for once again, it gives me a reason to keep going.” I suppose I understood why she felt the way she did. Marrying Neil gave me a purpose in life that I thought I would never have again. Berta surprised us with so many dishes we had never seen or heard of before! It was exciting to come to the table for each meal! So many new and fascinating things to disCover! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil had not, as yet brought up my eyesight with Dr. Fuchs, or anyone else. He wanted to be well established before he discussed it. Not wanting to jeopardize his position at the hospital. Realizing if he brought up my condition too soon it could be misconstrued as my blindness being the main reason for us coming to Austria and that the position only gave us a means of getting here. Our pastor’s wife Lisle came each afternoon to read the Bible and study with me. I enjoyed hearing the Bible again. I had missed the study as well. Neil and I read and studied, but not the same as Lisle and I. We studied from a womanly perspective such as my learning to be a better, more Godly wife. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I loved Austria! Neil and I walked often and he described the sights to me as we walked along. I was sorry, many times, that I couldn’t see them! But Neil seemed to thoroughly enjoy describing things to me. It brought us closer together. I loved being Neil’s wife as well! Even though we weren’t the newlyweds we had once hoped to be, we were happy. Neil often said it would have been torture for him to be in Austria all-alone! To not have anyone to share his news with! To be alone all night! It made me that much happier that I had come along! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil came home from work one day, excited about something. I could tell by the sound of his voice, but he insisted the news wait until we were alone that evening. After Berta’s delicious meal that evening, Neil led me to the parlor. We sat side by side. Taking my hand he began, “Christy, today Dr. Fuchs extended an invitation. He’s having a dance, a ball of sorts, at their home in honor of his wife’s birthday. Only his closest friends, family and associates have been invited. There will be a formal invitation sent here of course, but he wanted to invite me in person as well.” “Oh Neil! That sounds marvelous for you! Very promising!” “I’m not sure what this means, but I know it’s got to be a positive step for my career! Just think what this could mean to us… “There are so many things I want you to have but have been unable to give you. With a promotion I could get you everything your heart desires, Sweetheart! I’ve watched you struggle with so many things. This could mean no more struggling for either of us!” “Neil, I already have everything I want right here with you! You’re all I need. Don’t think you’re depriving me of anything! You’ll have to remember every detail and tell me about it when you return home! I want to know how the ladies are dressed, and the men as well, of course. What you have to eat. What the house looks like, the decorations… *everything*!!” “Christy, you don‘t understand…” Neil sounded less enthusiastic now. “He wants us *both* to come… the invitation is for you and I together!” “How could *I* go to a dance, Neil!?!” “We’ll practice here at home. I’ve already asked Berta if she’d help and she readily agreed. She’ll even take you to get a gown. I want you to be the most beautiful woman at the dance that evening. Of course you would be regardless, but I want everyone to sit up and take notice of my lovely bride.” Neil began to chuckle. “What’s so funny?” I asked nervously. “It’s not you, Sweetheart! I promise!” He paused. “It’s just that when the others at the hospital found out where I came from, they assumed I married what they refer to as a ‘hillbilly’! They think you’re dirty and smelly. You remember… ‘New Years Day and Easter Sunday, them‘s the only safe times tah take baths‘.” He paused to laugh. “And they think your hair has never seen a brush or shampoo! Oh yes, they also think you’re toothless! Boy will we surprise when they see *you*!!” I tried to smile, but couldn’t. “Sweetheart, remember Ruby Mae’s wedding? We danced all night together didn’t we? You said you didn’t know the steps, but I led the way for you. I can do it again. The dances here won’t be as spirited as back in the Cove at least. And if they turn out to be, we’ll just sit those out. We’ll waltz when we can and sit out the ones we can’t do. “I have to go Christy and part of the arrangement is that *you* need to come along. All we have to do is dance a few waltzes’ maybe I’ll get to speak to Dr. Fuchs. We’ll be eating first of course. I’ll protect you as much as I possibly can, I promise! *Please* say yes!!” I sat, stunned by the urgency in Neil’s voice. He wanted, or needed, this so badly he was nearly begging me to go. How could I say ‘no’ to a request of this nature? I had no choice, but to agree. And yet, I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this task. *Me* in a formal gown!?! Dancing!?! Eating at an elegant dinner? I sighed deeply. It was going to take a lot of prayer and dedication on my part to be the obedient wife I was expected to be, or should I say, that I was *supposed* to be! I swallowed hard. “You said you promise to help me, correct?” “I promise Christy!” “You’ll be with me the whole time?” “As much as I possibly can. I swear!” “You said you’d protect me?” “Of course! Haven’t I always?” “Yes.” I paused to think. “Well, then I have no choice but to say yes, I suppose.” Neil jumped up and hollered. Then he lifted me to my feet and spun me around as he did when I accepted his proposal. Then he took me in his arms and hugged me close. He drew back then sighed as he kissed me. But his kiss became more ardent and he began to rub my back. I got scared and pushed myself back from his embrace. It wasn’t Neil that frightened me, but the possible result of what was about to happen if I didn’t put a stop to things right now. “I’m sorry Christy.” Neil apologized wholeheartedly. “I’m so sorry! I forgot myself! Please forgive me! This is one of the ‘difficult’ times I told you about back in Boston.” “I’m sorry too Neil. I wish I could be everything you want me to be.” I hung down my head. I wanted to run to the bedroom and sob. But that wouldn’t really do any good. “Neil, what if I make a fool out of myself at the dance or the dinner?” I asked. “You wouldn’t make a fool our of yourself! You’re too much of a lady to do that.” “I could trip, or get my foot caught in the hem of my dress. Or I could walk into something valuable, or…” I paused. “Or what Sweetheart?” Neil asked with concern. “Or I could spill food all over myself. You know I still have problems with that sometimes. Berta always helps out by trying to avoid anything messy, like soup and such. Whoever is making the meal for this occasion won’t do that.” I felt the tears begin to fall. “How is my making a fool out of myself going to help your career!?!” I wailed. Neil took me into his arms and held me close as I sobbed. “There, there.” He patted my back and kissed the top of my head. “I love you Christy. You’re the woman I love more then any earthly thing. I’ll never be ashamed of you! No matter what happens. And if my promotion could be removed because you spilled something or tripped, then it was never meant to be an offer to me because of my abilities in the first place. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy or pity! I want to earn my way just like all the other mountain men. If I have to spend the rest of my life in Cutter Gap I will. At least then I’d be earning my own way. And I’ll make a way for you also, even in the Cove. You’ll never lack for the necessities of life.” “I know that Neil. I trust you with everything that is in me. I’ll do whatever you think is best for us. And I’ll follow you wherever you want us to go. I followed you to Austria, didn’t I?” “Yes, you did. And you’ve been the best wife anyone could ever ask for.” “No, I haven’t, but thank-you for thinking that way….” “Now, I think it’s time for bed.” I said. “You go on ahead, Christy. I have some reading to do before I can go.” “I’m sorry Neil.” “It’s alright, Christy. I’ll be fine, like I always am when I want to be with you. I’ll read my medical journal, then my Bible and pray. That always helps me to feel better at these times.” I had nothing that I could say to make him feel better, so I just said ‘good night’ and went upstairs. I would sit at my desk and put today’s events in my journal before retiring for the evening. My journal entries today were not happy or excited. I was nervous about the ball… dance… whatever they called it here. How could I ever go to it without making everyone think I was a complete incompetent? Also, I had once again disappointed Neil but I was too frightened of the outcome to do anything about it. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- -=*=-To Austria With Love -=*=- Chapter II Neil was marvelous! He listened to all of my complaints and excuses, but he never became angry with me, not even once! I was often ashamed of the way I acted, but he never wavered. He kept telling me I could do anything I set my mind to. Each evening we’d play waltzes and other music that we would dance to. We played ‘On the Beautiful, Blue Danube’ and ‘The Emperor Waltz’ which were popular. Usually we played the latest favorites in Austria. It had only been a few years since they were written. Although Mr. Strauss had passed away in 1899 his music was still very popular in Austria. Neil told me that Dr. Fuchs had known Johann Strauss Jr. personally, so naturally his music would be played at the dance. Neil could whirl me around effortlessly and with such grace I didn’t feel I needed to even know how to waltz to dance with him. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- My daily Bible study with our Pastor’s wife, Lisle, continued each day. Monday through Friday afternoon Lisle was here for me. She read to me and then we’d discuss what she’d read. I looked forward to our times together. During this time of preparation for the dance, Lisle and I were going through the book of I Corinthians in our studies. When we reached Chapter 7 verses 4 and 5 which read: “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again that satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” I stopped her reading, “Lisle what does that mean?” I asked. “Well, it means…” She cleared her throat. “It’s discussing the relationship between a husband and wife. The--intimate--relationship between them. You understand don’t you?” “Yes, of course, but--well--Neil and I have a different relationship then that.” I paused. “You see I can’t take care of children, you know, beingg--the way I am--and all. I couldn’t even keep track of where they were--” Lisle was quiet for a moment. “You mean this subject is never broached between the two of you?” “Neil promised me before we were married that he wouldn’t even bring up the subject unless I really wanted children. It’s been half a year and I’m still terrified to have *a* child, let alone *children*!!” “This topic is obvious on your mind or you wouldn‘t have felt it necessary to bring it up to me just now. Christy, the Bible also says, ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.’ That’s found in Philippians 4:13. And then there is also Philippians 4:19 which states; But my God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.’ If the Lord would bless you with a child, He would provide a way to care for it. Whether it is through someone coming to help out or you and Neil find a way to care for the child on your own.” “I know that. But how on earth can strength help me to *see* where my child is or what it’s doing?” “You don’t need to *see*, Christy. How do you know where I am if you can’t see *me*?” “That’s easy, I’m talking to you and you’re talking to me! But babies can’t talk.” “But they do make noise Christy.” Lisle began. “You can tell where they are better then you realize. When my children were small I didn’t always *see* where they were, but I used my ears to keep track of them. I’d say that’s how I did it most of the time.” “What about the times when hearing isn’t enough?” “You have other sense on which to rely as well.” She paused. “Christy, I’m sure Berta would help you and there are any number of women at the church who would be willing to help. There are people out there you can hire as well.” “But I don’t know if we could afford it!” “This is of course a decision the two of you must make, but I must say I am convinced he must be thinking about this subject, at least occasionally.” “Just the other night in fact.” I paused. I didn’t want to embarrass Neil. “He’s been sleeping downstairs lately--a lot. Don’t misunderstand me! He’s kind and considerate and I have no doubt he loves me, but I know he’s been thinking abouut ‘this’.” “The Bible tells us not to refrain from this because it can cause a husband or a wife to be tempted to look elsewhere. Not that I have any idea that *your* husband would looke elsewhere, it is only what I have read and understand the Bible to be saying. There is an exception-- when you both agree to refrain for purposes of ‘fasting and prayer’, but then you should come together again so you aren’t tempted by someone else.” I had to think about this for a while. “Christy, would you go for a ride with me?” Lisle asked. “Where?” “There is someone I want you to meet.” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- We drove quite a while before reaching our destination. I could tell we were out in the country somewhere. It smelled so good and the quiet was wonderful! Lisle led me to the door of a house and knocked. A woman answered. Lisle said, “Hello mother! I brought someone to meet you. Mother, this is Christy MacNeill. Christy, this is my mother Mrs. Gustavson.” “Why hello Christy! I’ve heard so much about you from Lisle!” “I’m pleased to meet you.” I said. “Come in! Come in!!” Mrs. Gustavson called out to us. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Visiting with Lisle’s mother was remarkable. It wasn’t until she had told me of her life and raising her family of ten children that Lisle informed me her mother had been blind since birth. I was dumbfounded. How could someone raise that many children while blind? She said she had put a small bell on her first child to always tell where he was. And she would pin it to his back so he couldn’t stop the noise or remove it. She had depended upon her husband plus the kindness and generosity of others. There had been people who insisted on helping her even when she was adamant she did not need any help. Though she would not admit it, she told me, these people realized she needed help. Eventually it was gladly accepted and she learned to appreciate it more then she had ever been able to articulate to the people who aided her most. By the time she had her third child, the oldest could help her keep the littler ones out of trouble. I was so impressed with this woman. “What about diseases and things?” I asked. “I learned just like any other mother does how to deal with emergencies.” Mrs. Gustavson reassured me. “Besides,” Lisle began. “You’re married to a physician, Christy. You have help in that area already.” I sighed. They were right even though I knew how often Neil was not at home. “Mrs. MacNeill-- I’ve never had my eyesight so I don’t know what I’m missing. But I do know this much, whether you’re blind or sighted, you have to set your mind to do something before you can accomplish anything! *You* can do anything if you really want to! You just have to want it badly enough to work for it. You and your husband need to sit down and discuss this matter together. It is not a decision to be made between us here and now, nor is it a decision which you should make all on your own, it must be a mutual agreement between the two of you. Your husband may have fears about this which he has not told you of either, and they should be considered as well. Don‘t rush into anything hastily, my dear. This is a decision which will affect the rest of your lives.” Boy, that struck me. So often I wanted to take the easy way out of situations. Though I had stuck it out in the Cove--eventually. There had been a time when I was ready to turn in my school bell and quit. Miss Alice had convinced me to remainn with the speech she had given me--and my heartfelt prayer where I had promised God that whatever He wanted me to do, or wherever He wanted me to be, I would do it. What I needed to do now was set my resolve for what Neil or I needed, but that would have to wait until we had made a decision--one way or the other. Lisle and her mother had given me a lot to think about this afternoon. I had told myself when Neil and I were to be engaged the first time, that I would leave the decision of children up to God. Here I was for over six months after actually having marryied Neil, still trying to take matters into my own hands! If I were leaving the decision for children in God’s hands then the Bible verses I heard from Lisle would not have sounded so foreign to me in this context. But they were also correct. I must speak to Neil about this situation. It was most definitely a decision which we must make together. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I was silent on the ride home. There were too many things streaming through my mind. I had to speak with Neil before I made any decision. I wanted God’s Will for my life--for *our* life. But the more I thought, the more I began to realize that what the Bible says *is* God’s will and I should doo what it tells me to do-- Shouldn’t I? -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter III That evening I asked Berta to leave Neil and I alone for the evening because I had to speak with him about something which was weighing heavily on my heart. She gladly agreed and left right after Dinner. I sat with Neil in our favorite spot, the settee in front of the fireplace. Taking a deep breath I began immediately with what I had to say before I lost my courage. “Neil? Do you ever wish you hadn’t made that promise to me? You know the one about not having children, and… everything that goes along with it.” He held me closer to him with a sighed. “At times, yes. But I remind myself I married you knowing I had made that promise and I intend to keep it. Oh, I can’t lie to you; there are times when I would do almost anything to break that promise. I’m no saint Christy. I’ll admit it; the thought crosses my mind occasionally… And lately it’s been more often then I care to confess even to you. “Now can we discuss something else, please? Talking about this doesn’t make it any easier.” Neil confessed. “Would you please hear me out, Neil? There‘s more that I need to say.” “Christy, I already told you I don’t want to talk about it!” “I won’t go into vivid detail, I promise.” Neil sighed deeply. “Alright Christy!” He said with exasperation. “Say what you have to say.” I turned toward Neil slowly, drawing away from his embrace to face him. I took his hand. “Neil… You know Lisle and I have been reading the Bible together everyday.” I paused. “When she was here today she read from I Corinthians 7:4-5.” I reached over and picked up the Bible Lisle had left open to that chapter for me. “Here, read this.” I handed Neil the Bible and he read the scriptures out loud. “When she finished reading that section I stopped her and asked her what it meant… Well… She said it pertains to the intimate part of marriage. I thought about the relationship you and I have. I know you promised me… And I’m convinced you’re committed to that promise, don‘t misunderstand me. But when I mentioned my fears to Lisle she told me other scriptures as well. Philippians 4:13, ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.’ and Philippians 4:19, ‘But my God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.’ “She told me if God blessed us with a child he would also prepare a way for us to care for it. Lisle said we could rely on the church to help out and there are other places we can go for help as well. Now that you’ve got your position at the hospital, maybe we can even afford help. “She took me for a ride today and introduced me to her mother who’s been blind since birth and she’s raised ten children! Mrs. Gustavson is her name, and she told me I could seek her advice anytime I liked. Mrs. Gustavson told me blindness shouldn’t stop me from living life and enjoying *all* of the pleasures in life, like the feel and the scent of my own newborn baby. She told me I can do *anything* if I really want to! If I want it badly enough.” “Haven’t I been telling you that all along Christy?” “Yes, but this is from a woman who is in the same situation as me, but has risen above it! She’s actually overcome the disability! I was amazed by her testimony! It was incredible. Oh Neil, I want to be like that!” I looked sadly at the floor. “I’m sorry I haven’t been a proper wife to you, Neil. I haven’t given you everything that is due you. You’ve been so patient and kind to me over this difficult time in our marriage. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.” I turned to face him. Hoping I was looking him in the eyes as I spoke. “Neil I want to be the kind of wife I’m supposed to be.” I turned around curling up on Neil‘s lap, facing him. I put my hand up to his face, touching his forehead, eyes, cheeks, picturing their every detail in my mind as I allowed my fingers to examine his face. Was he angry? Sad? Hopeful? Or was he just tolerating me? Finally I permitted my fingers to brush his lips. I allowed my fingers to linger there as I leaned toward him slowly. I began by kissing him softly a couple of times, and then I ran my fingers through his hair. “Christy, what are you doing?” Neil asked, sounding irritated. “I’m trying to--attract--my husband. I’m sorry if I don’t know how.” I apologized, feeling rather foolish at the moment. Was I going about tthis all wrong? I had no idea what to do. Or what he expected of me. “Are you sure you want to do this Christy?” Neil asked. “As sure as I’ll ever be.” I answered. “I don’t want you to live in fear because you’re trying to prove something to me. You don’t have to!” Neil said with an angry edge to his voice. “I have to admit, I’m nervous. But yet, God Himself has told us to live other then the way we have been living. He’ll provide a way, even when there seems to be no way… I love you Neil. More then anything on this earth! I’d do anything for you. I want you to be happy.” “I’ve made a promise to you Christy. I intend to stick by it for the rest of my life. I love you more then anything also. I don’t want to cause you pain, either tonight or at anytime in your life. I’ve watched you suffer far too much already Sweetheart! You *have* made me happy, you make me happy everyday of my life just by being here with me as my wife. I know you’d do anything for me, but maybe this isn’t the right thing to do…” His voice trailed off. I thought for a while. Looking pensively away from Neil. Praying silently. Turning back toward him again I placed my hand on his face. Feeling every inch of it from his forehead downward once again. “Oh! How I wish I could look into your eyes right now!” I declared with frustration. “Then I could ‘see’ what’s going through your mind! What’s *really* going through your mind! You always refuse to tell me what you’re thinking!” I began to cry. Neil sighed deeply. He wanted to tell me the truth, but he didn‘t want to hurt me either. I knew that much even though I couldn’t see his eyes. “Christy, calm down. Please!” “I’m sorry, Neil. It’s just that a lot of our relationship was built on eye contact. Now I can’t even see your eyes to tell what you’re thinking.” I paused. “Tell me the truth, Neil…” “Very well, Christy, I’ll be honest with you.” He took me in his arms and held me close taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, both collecting himself and giving his mind a chance to compose his statement to me. “Christy, there is nothing I would like better then to get to know you the way only your husband can. But I’m not convinced you aren’t being impetuous again. You’re thrilled about what Lisle and Mrs. Gustavson told you, and that’s all well and good, but does that truly make you ready for what might lie ahead?” He paused to kiss my forehead. “I love Christy, with all my heart. I could very well have lost you, but I feel extremely blessed that I did not. I’m blessed that you even agreed to marry me! You could have forced me to come to Austria alone, but you graciously agreed to come with me. You’ve been practicing dances with me so you can accompany me to Mrs. Fuchs’ birthday party on Saturday evening. “You’ve come such a long way… I don’t want you to become overwhelmed expecting a baby as well.” I cried quietly in Neil’s arms. He kissed the top of my head and held me tight. I knew he was right. But that still didn’t change what the Bible said… ‘Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.’ We weren’t fasting and praying for anything, although we probably should now. I got up slowly and silently from the settee. I felt terribly embarrassed for what I had attempted to do! I couldn’t speak to Neil, I was afraid to. I doubt that my voice would have allowed me to speak even if I should have attempted it. I didn’t know how I could ever face him again. Walking quickly to the kitchen, I would work at washing the dishes. Maybe some physical work would help me to feel better, plus getting my mind off of myself and the blunder I had made could only help the situation. My face was crimson, I could feel it as it quickly swept upward. Impetuous? Yes, I had been that and so much more! I had hurt Neil, although I knew he would never admit it to me. How could I have acted so foolishly? -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I had the water ready and was adding dishes when Neil came into the kitchen. I was hoping he would just leave me alone, but it was obvious he would not. I felt my face blush once again as he entered the room. I didn’t want him to see how embarrassed I was to be face to face with him. I continued to wash the dishes, ignoring the person who was somewhere behind me. I would pretend I didn’t hear him and hopefully he would go back into the parlor or his study-- somewhere--anywhere where I was *not*! Neil stood still, wherever he was behind me. I knew he was staring at me, even though I couldn’t actually see him, I just *knew* he was. I got that queer feeling which goes up your spine when you just know, even without an acknowledgement, that someone, somewhere is watching you! It was the same feeling I had the day I found Neil staring at me from the upstairs window of his cabin all that time ago. After I had washed a few dishes I heard Neil moving closer. He must have grabbed the dishtowel and began to dry the dishes because I could hear the dishes clatter. But still, neither of us said a word to the other. The dishes were nearly finished when Neil finally spoke to me. “Christy… Sweetheart, I know you’re embarrassed, but you don’t need to be. I’m grateful that you want to please me, but there is no need for it. I’ll be fine. I just need a little time, is all.” “It’s not just *you* Neil…” I looked away again. I didn’t want to appear foolish again. I quickly dried my hands and headed for the door, but Neil seized my arm as I walked past. I was frustrated now and getting angry. I wanted him to leave me alone and stop thrashing me with my mistake! “Christy…” He began and quickly paused. I had to fight the urge to jerk my arm out of his grasp. “What is the *real* problem?” “I already told you what the real problem is. You‘re not the only person struggling with this decision! When I‘m with you, sometimes it’s all I can do not to-- well, you know. We‘ve been through that enough for one evening.” Turning my face away from him I paused for a long while, mmost likely several minutes before I spoke again. “That’s not the only reason…” “What is the other reason then?” Neil inquired gently though the last thing in the world I wanted to do was admit this. I attempted to draw my arm away from him, but he would not allow me to leave. “Christy, answer me. I won’t let you go until you do, so you might as well have out with it right now.” I sighed long and deep. I knew the kind of tenacity which Neil had--very much like my own in fact. I would have to tell him eventually, and he was just stubborn enough to remain here beside mee holding my arm for as long as I stood firm. So I might as well have out with it right here and now and be done with it. “Do you remember when you were going to leave me alone in my hospital room in Asheville and I told you I didn’t want you to go? Do you remember ‘why’ I didn’t want you to go?” “You said it was because it was so…” Neil paused with a gasp. “…*dark*!” He drew me close and hugged me again. “I’m so sorry Sweetheart! I forgot all about the fact you were afraid of the dark! But now for you it’s always dark, isn’t it?” I could only nod my head. After a time I finally mustered the courage to say, “But nighttime is the worst! I don’t know why, but it is. When I’m all-alone in our bedroom… the nights you sleep downstairs, I can’t sleep! I worry all the while! I jump at every little noise! I pray that you’ll come to bed, but you don’t. “Even when you do I’m not allowed to fall asleep in your arms. I have to keep my distance. I understand why, but I’m tired of it!” I moved my face up toward his. “It’s not just *you* who has problems with this promise Neil. I want more then anything to break the promise myself! But I can see that you’re right. I’m being impetuous *again*!! I wish I could stop doing that!” He drew me close. “At least you’re being impetuous because you want to do what the Bible says. And I appreciate that you want to please me, but I think we should pray about this. We’ll go into the parlor and pray together and I want us both to pray as often as we can tomorrow.” “I will. I promise.” I said as Neil led me to the parlor where we knelt in prayer. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- In this chapter I mention about Neil's (and Margaret's) son. I didn't write it quite the way I had hoped it would come out, but I know what I'm writing about because we lost our first four children (all before they were born--in various ways) one just before he was born. I tried to write from experience without writing too much on the subjectt. I edited this and added some new sections just before posting so I hope this sounds alright! ~Anne -=*=-To Austria With Love -=*=- Chapter IV We didn’t bother to practice dancing that evening. Neither of us felt much like dancing anyway. I went up to bed before Neil, but I couldn’t sleep. As anyone might well believe, I had too much on my mind to relax and fall asleep. Besides the fact that I was once again in bed alone and every little breeze frightened me… -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil remained downstairs for quite sometime after Christy went to bed. He knelt beside the settee and prayed. “Father God. I made a promise to my wife before we were married. I have every intention of keeping that promise. But lately there seems to be such a burden on me to break my promise. Some days it takes every ounce of my strength to keep from… Well you know the rest. I need your strength dear God to remain true to my promise and not back out on my word. Please lay upon Christy’s heart the same burden that you lay upon my own. Make Your will clear to both of us. Build me up in your strength, please don’t allow me to stumble and fall when I should be strong and upright in my thoughts, words and deeds. Amen.” Over and over for hours Neil poured his heart out to the Lord. Explaining how very much he loved Christy and telling the Lord exactly how he felt, even though the Lord already knew far better then Neil himself. He was waiting on Neil to face the issues himself and make himself a willing vessel God could use for His purposes. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil came to bed late and seemed to fall off to sleep almost immediately. On the other hand, I tossed and turned. Though I did not make a scene. I pretended to be asleep for Neil’s sake at least. I lay in bed praying. Neil seemed to be asleep, but I couldn’t be completely sure. I dozed off a few times but always woke with a start to the same thoughts and prayers. Our discussion last night distressed me. Plus the discussion with Lisle and then Mrs. Gustavson… What was I to do? The Bible was clear… Could I care for a child any more easily now then I could yesterday? There was Lisle’s promise of help from the church… Neil and Mrs. Gustavson had both said I could do anything if I really wanted to… How long could Neil live with the relationship we had right now?… I got up twice during the night and went downstairs to pace the floor as I prayed. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- When I awoke in the morning, Neil was already downstairs and I could smell coffee…so Berta was here as well. It had to have been extremely late when I finally fell asleep. I felt as though someone had beat me over a rock as women used to do with their laundry! In fact I had seen women in the Cove doing that very thing--now I could sympathize with the laundry when I used to sympathize with the laundress! I gingerly rose from the bed and slid into my slippers, then my robe. I felt cold and lonely this morning. The way I always felt when Neil wasn’t beside me in bed. I felt where he had slept last night. I missed him terribly. My eyes filled with tears. Today would be a day of prayer for us or at least as often as we could. I needed to know what the Lord expected us to do next. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I walked cautiously down the stairs. Hoping Neil wasn’t angry with me for last evening and my rash--impetuous behavior. “Good morning Sunshine! How’s the most beautiful woman in all of Austria this morning?” Neil greeted me cheerily as I entered the Dining Room. I couldn’t help but smile. “I take this greeting to mean you aren’t angry with me this morning, then?” “Angry? With you? For what?” Neil asked but I didn‘t answer immediately for I wished him to think about this for a moment. It didn’t take him long to come to the realization on his own. “Oh, that! I could never be angry with you for having my best interests at heart! You were thinking of what you thought was best for me, that’s all. I’ll not get angry for that!” Neil rose from his seat at the table and came to give me a hug. I wanted more then anything to cling to him and never let him go, but I forced myself to let loose of him. I didn’t want to make matters worse. “Good morning, Christy!” Berta announced as she came into the room. “Good morning, Berta!” I called in return. “How are you this morning?” “I am fine! Just fine! Now I want you two to sit down and enjoy your breakfast!” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- When we had finished eating, Neil cleared his throat, usually a signal he has something he wants to tell me, but he wants me to ask before he blurts it out. “Yes, Neil. You have something to tell me?” “As a matter of fact I do, Christy.” He paused. “I was wondering if you would like to play hooky from school today?” Neil chuckled. “What do you mean?” “What I mean is, I’m giving a lecture at the University today. I’m telling them of my findings in the Trachoma Research I did back in the Cove. I’m even including the findings from Wanda Ann’s surgery. I would be honored if you would accompany me and be my moral support. I need a familiar face in the crowd to look to occasionally. Will you come with me?” “Are you sure you want *me* there? Won’t I be an embarrassment to you? And a bad example for your research?” “Never!” Neil said rather sternly. He rose from his seat and come over to where I was seated beside him. Taking my hands in his he drew me to my feet and hugged me close. “You’re the love of my life! I will never be ashamed of you! Don’t ever think I would be! Please!!” I was putty in his hands… “When do you have to be at the University?” I asked. “Not until ten. Of course that’s when the lecture is set to begin, not when I need to leave.” “Very well, Neil. I’ll accompany you. You need the moral support, even if I don’t understand a word you say.” I giggled and Neil chuckled. “Thank-you, Sweetheart.” He paused. “Now if you’ll excuse me I need to pray about an important matter which I promised a lovely young woman I would pray about today.” I tried to look jealous, “You did? What is her name? I demand to know immediately!!” Neil drew me close once again. “Her name is Christy Rudd Huddleston MacNeill and as I said before, she is the most beautiful woman in all of Austria… And Tennessee… And North Carolina… And Mass…” I silenced him as I put my hand over his mouth. “I get the picture Neil!” I declared. He nibbled the palm of my hand which I held over his mouth. Quickly removing my hand I yelled, “Hey!” “You interrupted me while I was speaking!” Neil teased. “You bit me!” “Moi? Would I do such a thing?” “Cannibal!” I teased. “Oh, it’s not that bad. I’m a physician, let me see the teeth marks and I’ll bandage it for you and treat it before any infection sets in.” I held out my hand and Neil looked it over. He drew it closer and closer to his eyes. “I don’t see anything Christy.” “But it‘s still painful.” I pretended to look hurt. “Aww, let me kiss it.” Neil teased. He put my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “All better” he said as if speaking to a child. “Oh please Neil. I think that’s quite enough of this nonsense!” I said. “I promised a handsome gentleman I would pray about an important issue as he is today, so I will do just that as I ready myself to go with said gentlemen on an excursion this morning!” Neil chuckled once again. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- As I prepared for my morning with Neil, I prayed as I had promised. I prayed for wisdom and that the Lord would show me what it was we were supposed to do about this issue. I prayed He would point out clearly to me, so I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt what we were to do. When I finished dressing, Neil hadn’t called me to come downstairs yet, so I knelt beside the bed to pray before we left. I prayed for peace of mind for both of us, most especially for Neil. He didn’t need this aggravation on top of his lecture this morning. I also prayed his lecture would go well. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil took me to the University. There were *so* many people and the *noise*! I was confused. I hoped there would be no emergency while we were here which would require me to find my way out of this place on my own! I felt hopelessly lost in this mass of humanity! I was clutching Neil’s arm with all my might, straining to hear Neil’s voice when we came to stairs or other obstacles. Finally inside the lecture hall, Neil gave me a front row seat. He told me it was the place for honored guests and I had to laugh, for I knew he was sweet-talking me. I could hear Neil setting up his charts and preparing his notes and so forth. This was his dream, to make a difference in the world. These students and everyone else who came to hear him speak today would each take a piece of Neil and his research along with them as they left this hall. Maybe they wouldn’t even agree with him, but they had still heard and would be thinking about what he had said. I was so proud of Neil today, as I was everyday, and happy his dream was coming true. “Christy, pray for me, alright?” Neil said as he came over to me, before the first students arrived. “I will Neil. I promise. In fact I already have.” “Come here.” He said, helping me to my feet. “I need a little, ‘physical’, moral support, if that makes any sense at all!” He drew me to him and hugged me tight. “I love you Neil.” I said as I hugged him back. “I have every confidence in you and your abilities. You can do this, I know you can! I‘m positive of it!” Neil chuckled. “I hope you’re right.” “I *know* I am!” I smiled up at him. “Then seal it with a kiss that says you mean it.” He whispered in my ear. “With pleasure, Love.” I whispered and did just as I was told. Before we were finished a man cleared his throat beside us. We backed away from each other quickly. My face turned more crimson then I had ever thought possible! “Professor Kinnigan!!” Neil exclaimed. “What a surprise to see you here!!” “I was visiting Ernst. He told me you were in Vienna. You’ve made quite an impression here my boy!!… I knew you would! “I heard about this lecture of yours and thought I couldn’t possibly miss it! So here I am! “Afterward I want to take you out to eat. You have to tell me everything that is going on in your life and your career.” He cleared his throat again. “But first you have to tell me who this young woman is who you seem to be so… shall I say, ‘interested’ in.” “I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten my manners. Prof. Kinnigan, meet Christy MacNeill, my wife. Christy this is Prof. Kinnigan you remember me telling you about him don’t you?” “Of course! Prof. Kinnigan, I’m so pleased to meet you! It’s because of your kindness that we has had this opportunity of a lifetime! Neil has told me so much about you!” I extended my hand toward him. “Well, don’t believe everything you hear Mrs. MacNeill! It was your husband’s skill and dedication which got him this position, not I. All I did was send along the information. “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance Mrs. MacNeill. Neil is a lucky man!” He shook my hand. That last comment made my face blush once again. By now the lecture hall was filling up. I could hear people all around us. Professor Kinnigan sat beside me. “How long have you and Neil been married?” He asked. “About six months. We got married a few days before we left for Austria. We were to be married some months before but I had a riding accident which left me blinded. The Doctor’s and I didn’t think I could cope in the mountains. But when this offer came along we decided I would be able to do better here in Vienna. So we got married and moved here.” “I thought Neil married before he moved from Pennsylvania?” “He did. He married Margaret Henderson. She died about five and a half to six years ago. She was expecting their child when she contracted Typhoid. She was only seven months when she went into premature labor during her bout with Typhoid. She had no will to live any longer and died the day after their son was born. Unfortunately their son only lived a few hours.” At that moment I came to realize how very important it must be for Neil to have a child… How could he live his life not knowing what it would be like to raise a child of his own? He had come so close to having one, but it had been taken from him. He needed another child to help fill the void left by the death of his son. We could never replace him of course, I knew that, but we could fill in the gap in Neil’s life, left by his loss. I thought back to when Neil had told me about the death of his son. How could I have forgotten his pain? The agony I witnessed over that loss… How I ever forgot about such as I viewed that day I would never understand! Though he had tried to conceal from me the aguish he felt, I still witnessed it. The pain was there regardless of how he tried to hide it… -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil’s lecture was well received. It was all foreign to me except when I heard him say, he had operated on a young girl… “…I began by preparing the eyes with cold compresses; the application of both nitrate of silver and copper sulfate once a day to the inside of the eyelids; Argyrols drops…“ I knew what he was speaking of for I had to perform this task at the mission. “…I excised the sores and debrided the Conjunctiva below the tarsal margin to promote epidermal regeneration…” I recognized the words even if I didn’t understand them completely. “Then in the ensuing months she was treated with a special preparation which I invented, it consisted of…” Now *that* I recognized as Wanda Ann’s surgery, the only one of his operations I had been present for because she was terrified to undergo the procedure alone, not that I blamed her, I don’t think I would have wanted to undergo surgery all alone either at her age. The rest of Neil’s lecture I didn’t quite understand, which was fine. I was here as moral support and to pray. And that was exactly what I did. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil enjoyed the Lunch with his mentor. I knew very little of what they discussed, so I sat back saying not a word for most of the afternoon. I had to suppress a giggle as I sat here like this and thought of what Neil had said to me at his cabin after I fell in the river, “You’re a silent one, especially for a female” it certainly was correct this afternoon! I suppose it was true the first time he had said it to me also, at least at the time he said it! By the time I left that day he was probably sorry I had ever wound up at his cabin! I received glimpses into Neil’s life and emotions that day in his cabin, that I would probably have received no other way. I knew far more of the mountain’s and the people (and Neil MacNeill) then I did when I arrived. But I didn’t know if I liked Neil or not-- then. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- The ride home was fun. Neil was talking non-stop all the way! He had had a wonderful day. One of the best he’d had since I’d known him. I was ecstatically happy for him. I prayed for many more days just like this for him. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter V Neil had to go to the hospital for a while to check on some patients after we arrived at home. I asked Berta if she could leave me alone while Neil was gone, I needed some time to myself for a while. She said she understood. I actually had something else in mind. But I did wish to be alone to accomplish it. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I tacked a note to the front door for Neil, and then I placed notes all around the house. Each had a different direction on it, which led to the next note. At the end the last note told Neil where to find a surprise. I had been practicing my handwriting and wanted to show Neil that I could do it. It took me quite some time to write the notes but I wanted to do something special for Neil this evening. I had only begun to actually *write* notes and letters without using Braille a short time ago. In fact so short a time ago that Neil didn’t even know that I could do it, yet. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I heard Neil arrive. I could almost track his every move as he followed my instructions from note to note. My only regret was that I couldn’t see the look on his face as he found each note! I could hear him calling out to me as he walked from place to place. “Christy, what is this?”… “Christy, where are you?”… “Christy, what’s going on here?”… I chuckled as I listened to him, but I wouldn’t answer. He’d find out what was going on when he found the last note. Finally I heard Neil ascending the stairs. Now I was a bit apprehensive, if not exactly nervous. I prayed he wouldn’t be *angry* with me. He removed the note I left on the bedroom door. A short while later I heard the door open. “Christy?” He said softly as I heard his foot steps inside the room. The last note for him to find was on the bed. He picked it up and read it softly, out loud. “Turn around for your surprise.” I was standing behind the now open door. I tapped the door to close it and stood, hopefully before Neil, holding the final note in my hand, wearing the flower-sprigged dress he had given me the day I fell into the river near his cabin. I smuggled it here without his knowing of it. (He had given Miss Alice all of Margaret’s things when he and I became engaged the first time. I had asked Miss Alice if I could possibly have the dress for memories and she had agreed.) I heard Neil’s breath catch as he turned around. “Christy?” “I wanted to surprise you Neil.” I paused as I walked toward the sound of his voice. “Something Prof. Kinnigan said to me today set my mind to thinking. He asked me if you had been married before you left Pennsylvania. I said you were, and then I remembered all that you told me of Margaret, as I explained to him why you were no longer married to her. I thought of your son and what you told me about him… You deserve to fill that void in your life Neil. I want you to know the joy of having a child, or children, of your own. Listening to you speak of your son I knew how badly you wanted him…” I paused as I reached out my hand toward Neil, praying he was there and that I didn’t look the complete fool wandering around the room! I stretched out my hand and to my delight Neil took it and held on to it. “I’ve been praying for two days Neil. I know I’m doing the right thing. I love you, and I want to have your children. I can learn to care for them just as I’ve learned to read, write and do everything else I’ve learned. I *can* do this Neil. I’m sure of it. You’ll help me as much as you can, I know you will.” I moved as close as I could to him. I wished I could see what was going through his mind right now. He was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. “I want to fill that empty place in your heart where your son would be. I know I can’t *replace* him, I won’t even try to do that, but I *can* give you someone else to love and care for the same way.” My tears were flowing now. "Besides, I'm pretty sure this is the right thing for our marriage well. We both need this togetherness more then we realize, I think..." I reached up my hands to feel Neil’s face to see if there were any harsh lines in it. But what I found were tears. I wiped them away with my fingers. Then I placed my arms around his neck. “Hold me Neil. Please?” I asked. He slid his arms around me as he moaned softly. He rubbed my back as he whispered into my ear, “Thank-you Sweetheart!” “It is my pleasure, Love.” I whispered as I turned my face toward his and he claimed my lips in an astonishingly passionate kiss, as the tears streamed down both our faces. Neil lifted me into his arms and carried me to our bed. He set me down and then sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you absolutely sure about this Christy?” I sat up beside him and whispered. “Completely!” I handed Neil the final note and I could tell he was crying harder as he read it. “What is it Neil?” “God told you exactly what I asked Him to! I prayed that if it was His will we go ahead with this, that He would tell you how badly I want to be a father.” I drew his head toward mine as my tears flowed again. “I love you Neil.” “I love you too, Christy.” As he slipped his arms around me and I knew deep down in my heart that everything was going to be just fine! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- In the morning the birds outside of our window awakened me . Neil’s arm was still around me. I reached out my hand to find his face only to discover he was leaning on his elbow looking down at me already! “Good morning, Love!” I said. “What are you doing?” “Good morning Sweetheart!” Neil said softly. He touched my face, tracing the outline of it with his finger. “I’ve been admiring the stunning woman in my arms. I kept thinking of what it will be like when she opens those extraordinary blue eyes and I can look into them to see the love she has for me and *only me* inside.” Then he touched my lips ever so gently with his fingertips. “I was gazing at her lips, remembering how soft and warm they are, how they made me feel as they kissed my neck last evening.” He picked up my hand and kissed each fingertip then turned my hand over to kiss the palm. “I was adoring her delicate hands. The fingers that drove me wild last night with their feather-soft touch.” Neil sighed breathlessly as he entwined his fingers into mine. “I am madly in love with you Christy MacNeill. Promise you will be mine forever.” As he spoke he leaned in so close that his lips brushed mine and I sighed softly. “I promise Neil, forever…now and throughout eternity.” I said just above a whisper. He cradled my head lovingly in the crook of his arm as he kissed me…Breakfast could wait for a while. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- An hour later I lay with my head on Neil’s chest. He was fanning my hair out across his chest, neck and shoulder as he ran his fingers through the length of it, while kissing the top of my head. “I love you Neil.” I sighed. “I love you also, Sweetheart.” Neil replied softly. “Now I know why the Bible tells us not to forsake this. I feel closer to you now then ever before. Thank-you for not saying ‘no’ to me. I needed this far more then you know… far more then *I* realized.” I admitted. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- As I was dressing later, I suddenly felt embarrassed and anxious about facing the world after what had happened between us! “What am I going to tell Berta about why we’re so late coming downstairs this morning!?!” “Tell her the truth!” Neil replied slyly. I turned to slap him playfully. “I don’t think so!” “Why do you have to tell her anything, Sweetheart?” “She’s been my friend as well as a big help to me. I don’t want to be rude. I hope we didn’t ruin her breakfast!” I said. “That still doesn’t explain why you have to tell her what happened up here? Unless you want her to know?” Neil teased. I looked toward him with a shocked expression on my face. “Neil MacNeill!” I declared while placing my hands on my hips. The teacher in me rears its head again! Neil playfully tweaked my cheek, “Besides, Christy, the glow in your cheeks and the expression on your face say everything.” He said as he took me around the waist and held me close. “I can’t thank-you enough for last night…and this morning. It means far more to me then you will ever know Sweetheart.” “It does to me as well Neil. I hope we’ll make a habit of this from now on.” I teased. “I wholeheartedly concur, Mrs. MacNeill!!” He said as he slid his arms up my back and kissed me passionately one last time. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- This evening would be the ball in honor of Mrs. Fuchs birthday. I was terrified, but I had to trust Neil. He would help me as much as he possibly could. “Today is the big day Neil.” I declared. “Are you ready?” “Oh yes, I have my tuxedo ready to wear.” “Now that’s a sight I wish I could see! Neil MacNeill in a tuxedo! You’ll be the most dashing man at the ball!” “I wouldn’t go that far, Christy.” “I would.” I stated emphatically. “What color is it?” “Black.” He said matter-of-factly. “I’ll see what kind of a mental picture I can conjure up for this event!” I giggled. Neil chuckled warmly as he took my arm and walked with me down the stairs. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- “I’m sorry we’re late Berta!” I apologized as I came to the Dining Room door. “It’s quite all right! When I heard I would be working for newlyweds I expected to have many days like this. I’m surprised it has taken this long!” Berta exclaimed. “There’s nothing to be sorry about! I was a newlywed myself once! I know what it’s like!” She turned and left the room. Neil walked up and hugged me, chuckling again. I felt my face blush. “See Sweetheart,” he whispered. “I told you your face gave you away.” I slapped him playfully on the arm once again. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter VI I got ready for the party, or shall I say I was readied for the party, for I did very little in the way of helping myself to prepare. It took a few hours to accomplish all that needed to be done. Berta and I had purchased an Azure Blue gown with a full skirt. It was an off the shoulder dress with a matching shawl to cover my shoulders when I was outside. Some ladies that Berta knew helped me with my hair. They pinned it up and wound matching ribbons through. I only wished I could have seen the finished results. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- When I came down from our room, Neil was awaiting me at the base of the stairs. All he could do was whistle. I smiled, but was hoping for a more verbal response from him. “What do you think?” I asked. “Wow!” Was Neil’s response. “Could you elaborate on that please?” I teased. “You took me seriously, Sweetheart! You will most definitely be the *most beautiful* woman at the party this evening!” Neil took my hands. Leaning into my ear he whispered, “But how am I supposed to survive this evening when you look so inviting?” “I’m sorry Neil.” I whispered with a smile. “I was only trying to follow your orders!” He laughed, his deep rolling laugh, which I hadn‘t heard so often in the past six months as I had in only the past two days! It was wonderful to have laughter back in the house--most especially Neil’s, at least to my ears that is. “You did, Christy my love! You followed my instructions to *the* letter! I can hardly wait to see the reactions of everyone as we walk in this evening!” “You mean I don’t look like a toothless, dirty, ungroomed, ‘hillbilly‘--as they assume I will?” I teased. Neil laughed again! “Far from it Sweetheart!! They’ll be eating their words this evening, Love! I guarantee it!” “I wish I could see *you* this evening!” I said. “You’ve seen me in a suit before, just picture a fancier suit is all.” “Now I know you’re underestimating your appearance! Let me see? My Father has a tuxedo… I’ll have to see if I can place your face above my father’s tuxedo and I should be pretty close!” I stood with my finger to the side of my face to look as though I was thinking hard. “Yes! That’s it! Do you have a boutonnière?” “Of course.” Neil said trying to sound more distinguished. “It is a white rose.” He enunciated precisely and distinctly. “My my!! Aren’t we fancy, Dr. MacNeill!” I smiled. “I’ve got the picture in my mind. I agree with your earlier assessment, Wow!!” I giggled. Neil took me in his arms. “Are you ready to go Mrs. MacNeill?” I took a deep breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.” “You’re shaking like a leaf, Sweetheart! Are you going to be alright?” Neil asked with concern in his voice as he held me tighter still. “I’ll be fine Neil. Don’t worry. I’m doing this for you and I promise I’ll do my very best for you. I apologize already, because I’m probably going to make mistakes.” “I don’t care if you wear the salad bowl on your head, I’m just glad you’re accompanying me! I would have felt so out of place to go alone. Besides you are a well-mannered and sophisticated lady I’m sure no one will even notice if you make a mistake! They may duplicate your mistake just to be like you!” “You’re teasing me now, Neil! But thank-you for it! I could use the laughter to break the tension I feel inside!” “Here, I can help you with that, turn around.” I did and Neil began to massage my shoulders. “That helps.” I admitted. But when he kissed my neck, I said, “I think we’d better be leaving if we’re ever going to get to that party this evening.” “Party pooper.” Neil whispered in my ear with a chuckle. “Later, Neil, later!” I said. “Is that a promise then?” Neil asked jokingly. “Blood oath!” I said as I raised my right hand. “Oh, serious business, Christy MacNeill! You realize that by your saying that I am bound to hold you to that promise.” He said, as he took my arm and wrapped it around his. “Absolutely, Neil. For there is nothing I wish more…” My voice trailed off then for I knew we were treading on ground which would do us no good to tread upon at this moment. “Oops, I don’t have my gloves! Where did I put them?” I cried anxiously. “They’re right here, Love.” Neil assured me, as he handed me my gloves. “Thank-you. I’d forget my head this evening if it wasn’t attached!” “Oh, don’t do that Sweetheart! It’s far to messy!” We both laughed as we walked out the front door. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Arriving at the Fuchs home this evening was a frightening experience. I didn’t tell Neil how I felt, but he knew. I’d been telling him for weeks already, including at home this evening. But actually being here tonight was overwhelming. I could tell by the sounds that this had to be a huge mansion. I kept repeating to myself that I was doing this for my husband. This meant so much to him that I had to do my best…for Neil. As we approached the front door I said, “I feel nauseous.” Neil chuckled. “Maybe you’re pregnant?’ “Neil MacNeill!” I declared in a whispered tone. “I know already that it’s going to be a baby girl who looks exactly like her beautiful mama! She’ll have brown hair and blue eyes just like you!” I playfully nudged his arm. “I couldn’t possibly be sick from that already any how, even if I were expecting.” “I wouldn’t say that, Christy. I’ve seen it happen that a woman feels ill from the very moment of conception!” “Oh, now *that* bit of information makes me feel a whole lot better, Neil!!” I said sarcastically. He had the nerve to chuckle! “I’m going out tomorrow and buying the most beautiful pink baby dress I can find! Oops, the shops are closed tomorrow, it’s Sunday. Then I’ll do it first thing Monday!” Neil declared as we reached the front stairs. He was lucky, I was just about to pinch him in the arm! But I had to smile at such enthusiasm. I only hoped I wouldn’t disappoint him. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I shook, as Neil said, like a leaf, as he introduced me to people he knew. I tried to remember the proper etiquette Berta had taught me for this evening. Whenever there was no one around us at the moment, Neil would tease me to help ease the tension I was feeling. He teased me incessantly about a baby! I couldn’t hit him here, I tried to chide him in hushed whispers, but he would not be silenced! I knew he was trying to make me feel more at ease, but it honestly wasn’t helping. Although I knew some of his enthusiasm was due to his own nervousness and also his hope that what he was teasing me about was, in fact, true. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter VII The meal was my biggest concern! I didn’t want to spill my meal all over myself! Maybe I should take Neil up on his idea to wear the salad bowl on my head, at least then no one would notice if I spilled anything on my dress! But I knew better then to attempt such a stunt. For Neil’s sake if for no other. All through the meal there were eyes on me! People were watching me, I could feel it! I had that peculiar feeling that you get when you just *know* that someone has their eyes upon you! I asked Neil if they were, but he wouldn’t even answer me. He kept saying, “What if they are watching? Just ignore them!” Now *that* was far easier to say then to do! If they were staring at me to see if I would spill something then they were definitely going about it the right way! Their stares only made my hands shake even more! If there was soup I didn’t receive any. Although I felt there was an excess amount of time between one course and another at one point. I would ask Neil about that when we were alone later. Neil offered to cut my meat, but I was too self-conscience to allow him to do it even if I had to do without meat for this evening. When dessert was finished, I breathed a sigh of relief! I had lived through the meal! Dancing was easier for me, Neil and I had been practicing for quite sometime. Besides even when I could see Neil guided me around the dance floor with such ease that I didn‘t even need to know the steps to dance with him. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- When the music began my heart skipped a beat. I could spend the evening in Neil’s arms again! Now that was something I had looked forward to! But everything would be far more formal this evening then it had been at Ruby Mae and Will’s wedding. As Neil guided me out to the dance floor for the first time I was a bit apprehensive, but I only had to trust him as I had in the past. He spun me around with such grace and ease that I had not a worry in the world. The mental picture I had of Neil was naturally that of him at Ruby Mae’s wedding. The look of love in his eyes as he looked at me. The way he gracefully swept around the dance floor. Just as I had written in my journal, ’Neil was surprisingly nimble… Neil’s strong arms lifted me off the floor as easily as if I was a child. Whirl and twirl… bend and swing… round and round. The music was so delicious.’ I loved the Austrian music! It flowed through me and carried me along with it… I pictured in my mind other things about that evening-the first time I danced with Neil, ‘I spun through the air, blood racing with the music, aware of the Neil’s face close to mine, sometimes half-smiling, sometimes laughing, drawing me to him.’ It was all I could do at times when he was so close to me, to keep from kissing him this evening. Though I knew it would not be proper here in this setting. I let my head fall back in a moment of joyous rapture. I knew Neil’s eyes were glistening with approval once again and this time I knew there was love in them as well. I didn’t panic as I had the first time, I was exhilarated by the thought of the love in Neil’s eyes. Yes, I was dizzy, dizzy with the love I felt for Neil, who this time, was my loving, giving--wonderful husband! And this time when I pulled my head back up and his lips brushed my forehead, I enjoyed it and ached for more. His arm stayed firmly behind my back with my body pressed tightly against him. I wished with everything in me that we were in the middle of our parlor practicing and not in the midst of a crowded ballroom full of people who were most likely keeping an eye on us to see if we would do anything inappropriate! As Neil held me close he whispered to me, “Christy, it’s all I can do to keep from kissing you right now!” “I know.” I said. “I feel the same.” “I want to take you home right this minute.” “Have you been thinking the same as I have tonight?” I admitted. “Ruby Mae and Will’s wedding?” “Yes!” Neil declared. “And I can’t help but think of what was going on up above our heads as we were dancing like this.” I smiled and said, “I know. I think I feel the same way they must have felt that evening.” “So do I.” Neil stated. “Why don’t we get something to drink?” I offered. “That’s not the same Christy!” “I know, but it’s the best we can do at the moment.” I admitted with a smile. For the first time this evening I didn’t really care if there were eyes on us because all I cared about now was being with my husband. Neil chuckled. “Very well then, let’s go.” We walked to the table to get some punch. We were both over heated from dancing so we headed out the door with punch in hand. The cool evening air was delectably exhilarating! Neil led me along a path in the moonlight. Or at least I knew it had to be dark out by this time. Even if I couldn’t tell if the moon was indeed shining. Neil led me to a quiet place where we could have a private moment. He put his arms around me and kissed me passionately. It was a welcome moment! That is until some ladies walked past behind us… “Did you see that disgusting spectacle!?!” “Why would anyone bring someone like *that* out in public!?!” “He’s only a backwoods Doctor from America what does he know of culture and breeding?” “Why is he here, have you heard?” “I was told he’s a charity endeavor of Ernst‘s. He’s brought him here to bring in extra money for the hospital.” “Then what is *she* doing here?” “I don’t know! But I wish that hillbilly Doctor had left her back in the woods where he found her!” “Wasn’t that a revolting sight as she ate?” “Definitely! Spilling food all over the place! And the way she’s dressed!” “Goodness yes! I’m surprised Ernst hasn’t had them removed from the premises by now!” “Oh! That sordid display on the dance floor!” “Kissing her right there in the presence of everyone! I wouldn’t doubt they’re out here right this minute doing something even more repulsive then that!” “I hear they were raised in the wilderness. They ought to feel at home here among these trees!” They both laughed. “Why don’t they just go back to where they came from? Don’t they know their kind aren’t welcome here?” “Yes, especially *her* kind! This city is where people from all over the world come to receive their eyesight back! A person like that only gives Vienna a bad reputation!” The ladies laughed one last time and went on their merry way. The tears were already streaming down my face as Neil drew me into him and hugged me tightly. “None of that is true, Sweetheart! Don’t believe them!” He was too late, I already did. “They’re jealous that’s all. They had to have known we were here or they wouldn’t have stopped at that very spot to make such accusations! “People hate to see a beautiful young woman enjoying herself. I‘ll not change a thing about this evening. I‘m not sorry about anything. You have been a lady in every respect since the moment we arrived, you always have been, and you always will be. You did nothing wrong at the table or after the meal either for that matter. You have been trained to be a lady from the day you were born and I have *never* seen a time when you weren’t one. You did everything perfectly this evening. I even watched you to be sure *I* was using the correct fork. You did nothing wrong and the gossips can just keep their comments to themselves!! *I* need you here and I’m not about to let you go!” I couldn’t help but sob. Neil held me and kissed the top of my head. He rocked me slowly back and forth. Then started to sing to me with his rich baritone voice, “My pretty little pink, I once did think, I never could do without you….” His voice faded, he stopped singing and cupped my chin in his hand lifting my face toward his. “I was right, you know, when I sang that song to you before. I can’t live without you, ‘My pretty little pink’.” I felt him moving closer as he claimed my lips again. I needed his closeness at this moment, more then I needed anything else in the world. “Can we go home now Neil?” I asked trying desperately not to sob. “I’d love to say yes, but you know, the best thing for us to do is to remain here and show them they aren’t going to scare us away from this party *or* Vienna! We can go anywhere and do anything we want to do. We were invited this evening just the same as they were. We are welcome guests. “I earned this position with my hard work and dedication, I wasn’t handed anything on a silver platter! You heard the same thing from Prof. Kinnigan just yesterday, didn‘t you?” I nodded my head. “I know, no one handed you this Neil. I looked around your laboratory at your cabin back in the Cove, when I was there. I know it was wrong of me to, but I did and I’m sorry. I saw all the hard work, all your slides and the extreme order you kept everything in. You spent many sleepless nights trying to find a cure for Trachoma. You deserve everything that is offered to you in the way of a promotion…and then some! Where you ever found the time to do research on top of being the only Doctor for fifty miles, plus trying to help with the social issues which sprang up in the Cove, I‘ll never know! Oh, Neil! You work too hard!” “Don’t worry about me, Sweetheart. Now that I have you, I don’t plan to spend so many sleepless nights anymore… Well, at least not in my laboratory that it!” Then he laughed, a playful, almost wicked laugh that told me exactly what he was inferring with his remark. All I could do was try to look surprised and whisper, “Neil MacNeill!!” I felt the pressure building up again behind my eyes but I couldn’t let it get the better of me. I just couldn’t! I prayed I would be able to make it through the remainder of the evening with dignity and no headache. “Now I want you to relax!” Neil mock-commanded. “You have to think of the baby remember?” “Neil! Stop that! We don’t know anything for sure. I don’t want you to be disappointed.” “I won’t be disappointed. I know I won’t. I want to name our little girl Christy Jean. Because my mother’s name was Jean.” “I like Amelia Jean. Amelia was the baby sister I lost when I was eight and she was two.” I sighed. “Neil!! Now you’ve got *me* doing it!” I chided. He laughed such a deep rolling laugh, that I couldn’t help but smile. The laughter and teasing did help me to feel better at least. Even if it wasn’t the truth. I had no idea what I would feel like if I really was expecting, so how would I know if I was or not? But of course, only time could tell me what was going on inside of me. I smiled again at Neil. “You always know how to make me feel better, don’t you?” He laughed deeply again. “I’m trying Sweetheart--I’m trying! I only wish your face would show it when you’re feeling better.” He paused a moment. “You have another headache don’t you?” “Just some pressure at the moment is all. Not enough to keep me from dancing with the best dancer in Vienna for the rest of the evening!” Neil drew me close. “I love you more then anything on this earth Christy MacNeill.” “The feeling is very mutual, Neil MacNeill!” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter VIII Neil guided me back inside, all too soon, at least to my way of thinking! I wanted more then anything to go home, with Neil! I wanted to be alone with him, not walking back in here. Where I felt humiliated and degraded. But Neil was right; the best thing for us to do was to walk back into the ballroom as though nothing had happened, just as though we had never heard a word the gossips had said. I knew how badly Neil wanted this position and even more, I knew how badly he wanted a promotion. I reminded myself once again that I had come here for Neil and for no other reason. We danced again, just as we had before. Enjoying our evening together to the best of our ability. It wasn’t very often that we had evenings together like this and we allowed the gossips to think whatever they wished--of course they would anyway! ‘I was caught up in the gleeful harmony beating at my temples, singing in my blood, pulling at my nerves, tinglingly delightful. Neil danced as naturally as a bird flies or a fish swims. By now I knew that I didn’t even have to think, I could just give myself to his arm around me with assurance. The guiding arm was so sure and firm, the rhythm such a part of my body now that I could almost forget about my feet.’ I recollected these words from my diary as we danced again. I was torn between my gladness at not being able to see the people around us as they stared and my feelings of regret as I realized that Neil could. When we had danced until it almost seemed we could dance no more, Neil commented on how red my face was. I did feel slightly overheated once again. “Christy, I think you need some fresh air. I see a spot where you can find your way outside.” Neil led me to a wall. “If you follow this wall for about ten feet you’ll come to a doorway that leads to the terrace, I’ll get us some punch and meet you out there.” “I think I can do that Neil.” I said nervously. “I *know* you can Sweetheart! Just keep your hand on the wall and follow it to the door. Take it easy and don’t try to hurry. There’s nothing on the floor and no furniture for you to concern yourself with. I love you, Christy! I’ll be out very soon. I promise.” I started out slowly. Being in new territory which I had never traversed alone before was frightening, but if as Neil said, there was nothing obstructing my way I would be able to make it out to the terrace with no problems. I felt a little unsteady as I began, but I mustered my courage to continue for I would not allow the gossips to beat me down! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil was proud of his wife this evening she was trying so hard to do what he wanted. He stood back and watched for a moment as Christy made her way along the wall. With her first unsteady steps he nearly reached for her, but thought better of it and he was correct because it was with the third and forth steps that she gained her composure and steadied herself without his help. He then turned and moved toward the table with the punch bowl. As Neil was pouring punch into the second cup someone came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Well, Dr. MacNeill! I’ve been watching you!” Neil felt his heart skip a beat as Dr. Fuchs made this comment, for he was unsure what would follow. “You seem to be enjoying your evening with us, are you not?” “Oh yes! Very much Dr. Fuchs, thank-you! Christy--my wife, is having a wonderful time as well.” “I could see that!” Dr. Fuchs added with a smile and a paused. “You have impressed me tremendously Neil and I don’t just mean this evening. I’ve been watching your research and following your patients with great interest. You are a dedicated, concerned-- compassionate professional. I like to see that in the people who work in my hospital. The fact that you were willing to rellocate to Vienna makes you even more impressive. But this evening, I’ve noticed a few things I didn’t know before. I didn’t realize you are a married man. Not that, it makes a difference to me, you understand, and it has definitely not disrupted your work at the hospital in the least. What I’m trying to say is, seeing that your wife was even willing to relocate is even more impressive. This is a family venture then Neil. Do you have any children?” “Not yet, sir. But we’re hoping to have one soon.” “Splendid!” Dr. Fuchs replied with a smile. He paused as he rubbed his chin with his hand. “I wish to see you in my office on Monday, Neil. I think I may have something that would be of great interest to you.” “I’ll be there sir, whenever you prefer.” “That I’ll have to let you know about on Monday. I’m not positive of my schedule for the day, but when I have a free moment, I’ll let you know.” Dr. Fuchs paused for a moment with a serious expression on his face, “I know I shouldn’t ask this, but it is my line of expertise. May I ask how your wife lost her eyesight?” “She was thrown by a horse, Doctor. She fell down an embankment and struck her head on a rock.” “I see. And what was the prognosis?” “Well…” Neil began, and then proceeded to tell Dr. Fuchs all the details surrounding Christy’s accident. Neil was worried, though. He knew he was leaving Christy out on the terrace by herself for far too long. She would begin to worry, but he prayed she wouldn’t panic! “… That’s why I wished so badly to bring her here. I was sure someone here could help her!” “Of course I would be willing to examine her, but if the optic nerve is truly damaged there is very little I can do.” Neil nodded his head sadly. “I know.” He paused. “I was hoping against hope I suppose. It just tears my heart out to watch her struggle with everyday life. Eating is difficult, dressing, cleaning--*everything* is extremely difficult for her. Though getting better with time and experience.” Neil had tears in his eyes as he spoke. “I have never spoken much of this to Christy for that very reason. I didn’t wish to raise her hopes only to have them dashed.” Suddenly someone came in yelling something Neil could not understand. Dr. Fuchs set his punch glass down quickly and raced toward the terrace door. Yelling back over his shoulder to Neil, “Come quickly Dr. MacNeill!” Neil felt a wave of panic knowing he left Christy out there. “Dear God, No!” Neil cried as he reached the door pushing his way through the crowd of people, his heart nearly stopped as he found servants standing at the base of the stairs with lightss shining on his precious wife lying at the bottom of the marble stairs. “Christy!” He cries as he raced down the stairs, “NO!!” “Immobilize her neck.” Dr. Fuchs demanded after a cursory examination. “We must move her to the hospital as quickly as possible!” Neil knelt down beside his wife and picked up her hand with tears streaming down his face. “I’m sorry Christy. I’m so sorry for leaving you out here all alone!” People all around offered to help. Dr. Fuchs picked out a group of men to help carry Christy out to his automobile. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil held his wife’s hand as the men lifted her from the ground. She was unconscious. As they were taking Christy away Dr., Mrs. Fuchs and Neil hear the same women speaking that were gossiping before about Christy. “See! I told you *she* didn’t belong here! This only proves my point!” Neil shot them an accusing glance but continued on with his wife. Dr. Fuchs looked at his wife and she said, “I’ll take care of this. You go on with Mrs. MacNeill!” She turned toward the ladies who were still gossiping and telling everyone who would listen their opinions about Christy *and* Neil! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- At the hospital Christy was taken into surgery once again. Neil immediately called Pastor Schmidt for prayer. He was beside himself with worry this time. He felt responsible for this accident. ‘If only I had been out there with her, none of this would have happened!’ He told himself. He sat in the waiting room with his head in his hands, alternating between prayer and worry. Never before had he felt so guilty for an accident’s occurrence as he did for this one! Something inside of him kept telling him to go out to the terrace, but he didn’t want to be rude to Dr. Fuchs. But these thought helped nothing at all, for then he felt as though he were putting his career, or worse yet, his possible promotion before his beloved wife! “Dear God,” He prayed. “I didn’t want to put my career first. I was sure Christy would be all right out on the terrace for a few minutes without me… I know, I was inside for more then a few minutes… Please heal Christy of this wound. It’s my fault that this happened, not hers, please don’t punish her for my wrongdoing! You know I love her more then I love my own life--take me instead… But please, I beg you, PLEASE don’t take my wife again!” He started to sob at the end of that sentence and could go on no further. Neil wished there were someone here to lean on. He had no way to contact Christy’s parents. But there was no news to tell them at this particular time. It would have been wonderful to have someone here beside him… -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- The pastor of their church contacted the members and asked them to pray for Christy and anyone who felt led to be a support for Neil should go to the hospital to sit with him. He and Lisle were the first to arrive--and were soon followed by more then half the members of the congregation! There was scarcely room to breathe in the waiting room and there were even more people in the corridor, everyone sat, or stood, with heads bowed each taking turns praying out loud for Christy‘s healing, and for Neil’s strength. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Dr. Fuchs came out to the waiting room hours later and was taken aback by the massive crowd of people awaiting word of Christy’s surgery. The Doctor picked his way through the throng to the waiting room. Opening the door a crack he stuck his head inside, “Neil, may I speak with you in private, please?” Neil rose up on shaky legs and wobbled to the door. Pastor Schmidt noticed how much trouble Neil was having making it to the door, so he jumped up and offered him support. Dr. Fuchs agreed to allow the Pastor to accompany them. Dr. Fuchs led them to a small empty room, which contained a few chairs and a small table. Neil sat on one side of the table and Dr. Fuchs on the other while Pastor Schmidt stood off to the side and behind Neil. “Neil, you understand that I did not personally perform the operation on your wife. I was there as an assistant and also as an ophthalmologist. Dr. Friese did the actual operation. He removed blood clots from behind your wife’s eyes, as well as adhesions and scar tissue from the previous accident and surgery. There must have been continued bleeding following the last surgery, which left behind the mass we cleaned up today. That mass has been pressing on the optic nerve. Has your wife suffered from any headaches since the previous surgery?” “Oh yes! Excruciating headaches. At least once, sometimes twice a week.” Neil replied. “Well, at the very least we hope to have alleviated those. But I cannot lie to you Neil; she’s not out of the woods yet. The bleeding could begin again; there could be complications from the surgery or the accident itself. We have to wait and see, but being the strong, healthy young woman that she is; I don’t see any reason not to be optimistic. I’m sure you were told last time that only time will tell, but I’m afraid that’s all I can give you as well…” He continued to report to Neil all of the medical terminology for everything that they had done, but it all boiled down to sit back and wait! ‘The awful, nerve-wracking wait once again!!’ Neil thought to himself. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter IX Lisle was moving between the waiting room and corridor speaking to all assembled, making a list of those present, and asking them when, or if, they would be able to sit with Neil during the coming days as his wife lie in the hospital. There were many volunteers; Lisle was looking for mostly men, or possible a husband and wife ‘team’ that could sit with Neil. She would also set up among the women for them to prepare small meals to bring in for Neil to eat. Pastor Schmidt would stay with Neil this evening for as long as he was needed. Then he would return each day to see what, if anything, Neil required. He was going to travel with Berta to the MacNeill’s home and retrieve any necessities Neil would need. By the looks of Neil at this moment there was no way they could convince him to leave his wife’s side until she was safely at home once again. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- For a second time Neil kept a constant vigil at Christy’s side. Everything was similar to the last time he had done this, except this time he was sitting by the side of his *wife* and not his fiancée. Day and night Neil sat on a chair at the side of Christy’s bed, holding her hand and talking soothing words to her. Speaking to her of experiences they had, encountered since the day they first met… Her falling into the river and spending the afternoon at his cabin… The Danish Folk schools which Christy wanted to duplicate in the Cove… Ruby Mae and Will’s wedding… The ‘Crying Party’ at the Beck cabin the evening Ruby Mae was ill… His first proposal… And his second… Their trip across the Atlantic… Life in Austria… Their plans for the future… Anything and everything that came to his mind, he brought up to tell his wife. After three harrowing days Neil once again felt Christy’s small hand squeeze his. He could hardly contain his joy as she fluttered her eyes open. “Sweetheart! You’re back with us again!” Neil declared. “I can’t tell you how delighted I am to see those extraordinary blue eyes again!” I turned her face away Neil. “What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” Neil implored as he seated himself on the edge of the bed. “Why did you leave me out on the terrace all alone for so long?” I said with tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry Sweetheart! Dr. Fuchs confronted me at the punch bowl. We were discussing your eyesight when someone came in yelling something I didn’t understand. Dr. Fuchs went running out to the terrace and yelled for me to follow. My heart was in my throat thinking it could possibly be *you*! I was terrified! I’m terribly sorry I didn’t get back to you when I had promised. I should never have placed my career before my wife. I swear I will never do it again, Sweetheart, if you will only forgive me.” I turned my face toward Neil as I squeezed his hand. “I will do my best to forgive you if you will forgive me for what I must have done to…” I paused for a long while attempting to bring my emotions under control. “How is… the baby?” Neil stroked my forehead soothingly as he spoke, “Christy, I don’t know what you remember of the other evening, but I was only teasing you. We dodn’t know for *sure* that you were expecting.” “Oh…” I suddenly felt an emptiness inside I had never felt before. “All the while I was unconscious I’ve been thinking about the baby and when you didn’t mention anything about how she was doing I was afraid something had happened to her!” The tears flowed down my cheeks as I spoke. “I’m sorry Christy! I should never have teased you about a baby.” He paused as he rose from my bedside, and by the sound I believe he was pacing. “I should never have brought you *here*! I’ve been trying to find a way to “fix” everything when I should have been helping you to adjust to life again! It’s all my fault you fell down those stairs! I was speaking to Dr. Fuchs much longer then I should have! Forgive me! Please!” Neil pleaded. I reached out my hand to him. When he took my hand, once again seating himself beside me, I reached up and touched his face. “It was my fault, Neil. I was trying to be independent; I wanted you to be proud of me. I wished to show you how I could manage alone, so I walked out onto the terrace and found my way to the rail, but the longer it took for you to arrive the more worried I became. Then those same ladies we had heard talking about us earlier, appeared on the terrace. They must have thought it was an opportunity they couldn’t let slip away to insult me while I was standing there alone.” I paused a moment to compose myself. “I wanted desperately to flee back into the building, but I was so upset I couldn’t remember how I had gotten out there! I had no idea where I was exactly. It was taking you so long I panicked. I walked along the railing, but it ended suddenly and I lost my balance. Then attempting to regain my balance I caught my slipper in the hem of my dress and tumbled down the stairs. “I think you should send me home, Neil. The people here don’t like me, and they don’t think I belong here. They‘ll be more accepting of you if I‘m not here! My parents will take me in until you return…” Neil interrupted me before I could finish my statement. “But *I* want you here Sweetheart. Isn’t that more important then what others think?” Neil questioned. “I heard them also, remember? Don’t believe a word of what they say!” “They don’t like *you* because of *me*!” I cried pounding my fist on my chest. “They say I shouldn’t be seen out in public!!” I needed to relax. My head was beginning to pound terribly. “Christy…I don’t care what *they* think of you! I *love* you! *I* need you here with me, beside me, giving me strength. I would be nothing without you. You’re my wife; you’re precious to me. You are my gift from God, I could have lost you all that time ago to Typhoid, then again when you fell from your horse, and now again as you fell down those stairs, but God answered my prayers and gave you back to me! That’s not something I take lightly. I’ll not listen to a word the gossips say and neither should you. Besides Mrs. Fuchs said she would take care of the situation. Give her a chance to see what she’s accomplished. Does that sound reasonable to you?” “I still think you should send me home. Look how much work you’re missing sitting here with me.” “If you go home, I go home Christy. I’ll not stay here without you, plain and simple.” “But what about Dr. Fuchs? What about ‘making a difference in the world‘? What about ‘making your mark in the world’ like you’ve always wanted? What about the promotion you might be getting?” Neil kissed my hand and I could feel the tears on his cheeks. He held my hand to his mouth as he spoke. “You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I beg you Christy, don’t leave me alone! I’ll not be able to go on without you!” Tears fell from my eyes as well. I placed my other hand on Neil’s head. How could I be the one to hurt him as Margaret had? I choked out the words, “I won’t leave you alone, Neil! I promise.” Late that evening I could tell by Neil’s slurred speech that he was excessively tired. So I insisted he go home and get a good night’s sleep. Reluctantly Neil left me in the care of the hospital staff and went home to his own bed to sleep. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- When Neil arrived at his wife’s room the following morning with flowers in hand, he discovered her bed to be empty. Racing to the nurse’s station, “Where’s my wife!?!” The nurse shot an anxious glance at the nurse beside her then back at Neil. “Excuse me, sir--Dr. MacNeill. I will inform Dr. Fuchs of your arrival. He has asked to speak with you personally when you arrive. As you well know Doctor, I am not allowed to divulge any information.” The nurse summoned Dr. Fuchs to speak with Neil. Neil sat down in a chair at the nurse’s station, his head in his hands and his leg tapping nervously as he awaited the arrival of Dr. Fuchs. When the Doctor finally arrived, he took Neil back to the small room they had been in a few evenings previous, after Christy‘s surgery. “Neil, your wife awoke in wee hours of the morning screaming of a terrible headache. After close examination it was determined she needed another operation to relieve pressure behind her eyes. She has not come back from surgery as yet.” “How long has she been in surgery, Doctor?” Neil asked with exasperation. “I am not exactly sure, I was not called in when she went in. I only heard of this after my arrival. I left word at the station, they were to inform me of your arrival so you would hear the news from me before you heard any rumors.” “Thank-you for that, Doctor.” Neil said. His head and his shoulders both slumped down. Dr. Fuchs rose from his seat at the table and strode toward the door. Opening it for Neil they walked out of the room, Neil walked toward the waiting room once again and Dr. Fuchs toward his office. Neil turned around and called down the corridor, “Dr. Fuchs, I’m sorry for missing our meeting on Monday, but there was no way I could leave Christy’s side when she needed me. I’ll understand if you want me to pack up everything and move back home, for I have to place my family before my career. I know many Physicians’ don’t do that, but I must. My wife has been through far too much for me to forsake her now. There’s just too much she needs from me, now more then ever and I can’t give it to her if I put my career first.” Dr. Fuchs walked slowly down the corridor as Neil was speaking. “Neil, I think your ideals are commendable. We’ll talk after your wife is better. I would never ask you to ‘pack up and leave’ because your wife had major surgery and you wanted to remain at her side. There is plenty of time for discussion after she is back on her feet again.” He paused for a few moments. “I will be in to see how you and your wife are faring later in the day. For now I suggest you ask the nurse for a vase and put those flowers in some water for your wife when she comes back to her room!” He smiled at Neil. Neil looked down at the flowers he had forgotten were in his hand and smiled back at Dr. Fuchs, “I forgot entirely about these. Thank-you for reminding me.” The two men went their separate ways down the corridor once again. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter X Christy was brought back from surgery two hours after Neil arrived at the hospital. This time Neil’s wait for his wife to awaken would be much shorter then it had been the past two times he had waited. In fact she was speaking to the orderly who was pushing the gurney back to her room. Neil felt extremely encouraged. As he had waited in Christy’s room for two hours he could only think about the long, terrible wait’s he had endured the two previous times she had surgery. But God blessed him with a *much* shorter wait this time. Christy was speaking, but at first it wasn‘t very intelligible. “What’s she saying?” Neil asked. “I haven‘t the slightest idea!” The orderly answered. “She’s talking incoherently at the moment. The anesthetic is still wearing off. They said in the recovery room it would probably be a little while yet before she starts to make sense. She’s been saying something like Ruby Mae or something like that. Plus she’s been saying something about ‘no kiss‘?” Neil looked at his wife and smiled. “Ruby Mae is a friend of hers back home and I think I know what else she’s trying to say. It’s something I promised to explain to her a while back and I never did. Thank-you for telling me.” “I have no problem relaying what I understood.” The Orderly said as a nurse joined him in Christy’s room. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave the room while we put your wife back into bed.” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- As the orderly and the nurse left the room, the nurse turned to Neil, “You may go in now Dr. MacNeill.” “Thank-you! Thank-you very much!” Neil replied anxiously. “I’ll warn you, she has a lot to say!” The orderly laughed. “You don’t know how happy I am to hear that!” Neil declared as he walked back into the room once again. I drifted in and out of consciousness the rest of the day. Though my head hurt, it was far from the excruciating pain which had overtaken me during the night, or early in the morning. I felt rather well when I was awake. I was given pain medication though to prevent any further agony. It wasn’t until the following morning that I finally felt strong enough to speak with my husband about all that had occurred during this last operation. Neil gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and took my hand in his. My eyes were open and I smiled at him. He smiled back. Leaning over me he kissed me softly. “I’m sorry for everything that’s happened Sweetheart. This was my dream, not yours. I shouldn’t have begged you to come with me.” He said quietly, as the tears began to fall he placed my hand to his lips. I reached up and brushed the tears from his cheeks. Stunned, he looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. “Christy what are you doing?” “Brushing the tears from your face.” I smiled shyly. “But how did you know they were there?” Neil’s eyebrows knit together in a questioning expression. “I could see them. You have one more there on the right side of your face next to your mouth.” I announced with a playful smile. “You can *see* them, Christy!?!” Neil nearly yelled as his face lit up with exuberance. I nodded my head slightly, though it hurt to do so. “Oh! I wish I could pick you up and twirl you around the room Sweetheart!” “I wish you could too, but the way my head feels I’m afraid it might fall off!” I giggled slightly. With that Neil placed his cheek against mine, his hand on my opposite cheek. With tears flowing we cried together. Over and over Neil kept repeating, “Thank-you God! Thank-you!” After a few minutes Neil sat back and looked at me, his features spirited and a beautiful smile on his lips. I looked at him groggily, but happy and excited. Glancing around the room with my eyes squinting against the light, I asked, “Are those flowers from you?” Neil chuckled. “Yes! I nearly killed them worrying about you yesterday morning. I thought they would make the room smell nice for you… Since you always smell like flowers, I thought you’d enjoy them. But now you can enjoy the sight of them as well!” I smiled up at Neil and whispered, “Thank-you…” as I drifted off to sleep once again. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Dr. Friese and Dr. Fuchs both confirmed the return of my eyesight, though I was a bit color-blind they said it had the possibility of returning as time went by. But I didn’t really care! Even not being able to see some colors was extremely better then not being able to see anything at all! Neil was rejoicing, as was I, though in a much more subdued manner then Neil I must admit! If I had tried to be as enthusiastic as Neil, I would have been dreadfully sorry I had ever made the attempt! I didn’t have a headache as I had with the operation a few days ago, but the incision was painful, especially since its being reopened. There were so many things Neil and I could do together now that we hadn’t been able to do before! I wanted him to take me on long walks when I got stronger so he could show me all the sights which he had described to me since our arrival. My greatest joy was seeing my handsome husband’s smiling face! I loved him so much! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- On the day we were hoping to have confirmation my release from the hospital, Neil sat in my room as we awaited the arrival of Dr. Friese. Neil had looked troubled since his arrival this morning. Finally with some prodding from me he allowed the problem to pour forth. “Christy, I can’t help it. I feel so guilty for bringing you here! All that you’ve endured because of *me*!!” “Neil, if I hadn’t come here I may have been blind for the rest of my life! How could I ever be angry with you for bringing me here and giving me my sight back?” I paused a moment. “Now I’ll be able to see our baby when she’s born!!” I smiled at Neil and his reciprocal smile was somewhat reserved. “Christy! You’re not going to allow me to live that down, are you?” “That’s because you were right! I know it. Down deep inside I just know you were correct!” “Well, we’ll see Sweetheart! For now I’m just glad to have *my Christy* back! Alive, healthy, whole, and sighted! Plus the fact that you are more beautiful then ever only adds to my joy!” “Oh Neil! I can’t tell you how pleased I am to *see* you again!” I looked closer at him. “You’ve had your haircut!?!” Neil laughed. “Yes Christy. For quite sometime now in fact! I almost forgot I had it long at one time!” “Well, it seems like only yesterday to me.” I admitted. “That’s the way I remember you, so that was the picture I always had of you in my mind.” “Oh yes.” Neil began. “When you came back from surgery you were asking about something which I had begun talking to you about while you were unconscious back in Asheville, after you first fell from the horse… I said something to you, to the effect that I was standoffish and I had only kissed you one time, for a reason. You seemed to want to know the reason when you came back to your room this last time, do you want me to finish what I was going to tell you back then?” “If you wish to tell me about it, sure, I’d like to hear it.” I smiled. “Besides I love watching your expressions as you speak to me.” Neil smiled shyly and went on with his explanation. “Christy, when Margaret and I met, we had an intense physical attraction to each other. We didn’t wait for our wedding night to act on the urges we felt for one another.” He paused a moment, I think he was blushing, but I wouldn’t acknowledge it if he didn’t. “I felt a physical attraction to you also. Having done everything wrong where Margaret was concerned, I knew I had to force myself to keep my distance from you. You were an innocent young woman and I didn’t want to hurt you, or your feelings. In my heart I knew you were meant to be my wife. I wanted our wedding night to be something extra special for both of us. That’s why I kept my distance. I wanted even your kisses to be something new and exciting to me. Maybe I carried it to the extreme to some degree, but I thought it was far better to err on the side of caution then it was for me to make the biggest mistake of my life, all over again! “You and I have something together that Margaret and I never had--never could have had! We’re alike, you and I. We have the same passions and the same drive. Plus you have something I don’t have, self-esteem. I had arrogance, but it’s not *nearly* the same as believing in yourself.” Neil smiled at me. “You build me up when I’m feeling low. When I can’t seem to believe in myself, you always believe in me! No matter what. That’s something I can’t live without! You’ve been like an angel to me! You showed me the way back to God, and myself. I don’t need to be arrogant any longer… I love you more then words could ever say Christy Rudd Huddleston MacNeill!” He took my hand and kissed it again, and then he leaned toward me and kissed me gently, but lovingly on the lips. I brushed the unruly hair from his face and said, “I love you too, Neil MacNeill! I’ve meant every single thing I’ve ever said about you, because I’ve always spoken the truth. You are special to me. Don’t ever think that you *dragged* me here to Austria, because nothing could be further from the truth! I came because I couldn’t stand the thought of your going alone… because I couldn’t stand the thought of you being thousand’s of miles away--from me! And there was no way I could even speak with you!! I can’t live without you either! I would have been devastated had you come to Austria and left me behind! “I only had a short time left at the Perkins Institute and I would have graduated. Then what would have become of me?” I wanted to cry at the thoughts which were going through my mind at this moment. “I didn’t--I *couldn’t* go back to living with my parents; to become a pampered blind girl who all of my parents friends felt sorry for! And a person who all of my old friends didn’t want anything to do with because I wasn’t ‘like them’ anymore! You love me unconditionally! Blind or sighted you loved me the same and treated me as if I had never changed! I can’t thank you enough for that Neil! You made me feel like a *person* when so many other people treated me like an object… Just like the gossips at the party last week…” Neil leaned forward and rested his cheek against mine. “They can eat their words now Sweetheart. Because you are going to do greater things they ever imagined accomplishing in their lives!” He whispered in my ear. Just then a knock came at the door. Neil quickly sat back in the chair beside my bed, still holding my hand, he called, “Come in!” Dr. Fuchs entered. He stood at the foot of my bed resting his hands on his hips. “Well, young lady! It seems you never cease to amaze people, do you?” He smiled. “No she doesn’t, Doctor!” Neil chimed in. “I didn’t do anything, but trip over my own feet and fall down the stairs!” I said as my face blushed. “Well, that was enough to bring about all of this!” Dr. Fuchs said as he waved his hand from my feet to my head and back again. “Without your fall we may never have found the adhesions and scar tissue left from your first surgery. After removing them I had a pretty good idea you might get your sight back again, but I was not positive. I wanted to give you time to prove my point.” He paused. “The headache which you had the other evening, or should I say early in the morning, was caused by a blood vein which had been sutured, but began to leak. It was leaking probably most of the time since the surgery, but the blood built up to the point where it was causing you excessive pain before we knew what was going on. This time everything was checked, rechecked and checked again before they closed you up. I think you have seen the last of your headaches. I cannot guarantee you will *never* have another headache again, but the excruciating ones which you experienced in the aftermath of the first surgery should now be history.” “Praise the Lord!” I said, although I wanted to shout! “When do you think I can go home?” “I would say probably a full week from the day of your arrival. You want to be strong before you walk out that door.” “I know.” I began. “But I’ve never *seen* my home! In fact there are so many things that I’ve never seen. All of Austria for one thing. I want to go out and *see* the world!!” “You will, I promise, but not until I believe you are healthy enough to do so, agreed?” “Agreed!” Neil declared. I felt like pouting, but didn’t! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter XI The days passed slowly, but blissfully. I enjoyed seeing Neil’s face once again and watching every expression on it! I didn’t remember his face being so full of expression before, but everything that was before I ever fell from my horse, didn’t matter in the least now because I wanted to enjoy every minute of today. Most especially my husband, for this was the first time I had seen *my husband*. The last time I beheld Neil he was my fiancé. I recalled the very last time I had set my eyes on Neil was on the train platform in El Pano the day I departed for Asheville as I left for the final fitting of my wedding gown. The journey that turned my world upside-down. That seemed an eternity ago! “Do you know what I’m anxious to see, Neil?” I asked one afternoon as Neil was sitting with me during one of his breaks at the hospital. “What’s that?” “I can hardly wait to see our wedding portrait!” “I might be persuaded to bring it along with me tomorrow, for a small fee.” Neil teased as he moved from the chair to the side of the bed with a mischievous grin. “And what might that be, Mr. MacNeill?” I asked with a coy smile. “A kiss.” Neil answered softly, placing one hand on either side of me. “I haven’t gotten my Doctor’s permission to do that yet.” I teased. “Well, you have Dr. MacNeill’s permission to do a *small amount*, and only under the strict supervision of your close *personal* physician!” He said as he leaned into my face. I smiled. “But Dr. Friese isn’t here.” I joked some more. Neil smiled as he claimed my lips. Oh how I had missed being close to Neil! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Dr. Fuchs came to see how I was faring later that same day. Neil apologized to him for spending so much time with me and not attending to his duties at the hospital as regularly as he had been. Though he was back to work now and came to visit me when he had a break in his schedule. “I understand, Neil. But I would like to tell you what it was I wished to discuss with you in my office. It involves the two of you, so if it does not interfere, I have the time to do so right now. If you do not mind my discussing your career before your wife, of course.” “I don’t mind.” Neil said. “I have no secrets from Christy, so she’ll either hear about this from you now or from me when our meeting is over.” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil sat, awestruck on the chair beside my bed. I found myself staring unabashedly at Dr. Fuchs. Though all the good Doctor did was smile at us both he ended with, “I will leave the two of you to discuss my proposal. Take your time, this is not something you should jump into without a lot of forethought in the matter for you must, of course consider your plans for the future and your family.” After he had shaken Neil’s hand he turned on his heel and left my room. In a nutshell he had said: After hearing from Neil and reading the reports by the Health Department of the rampant Trachoma, as well as other eye diseases in the Appalachian Mountain’s and surrounding area, he decided to build an Eye Hospital in Tennessee where the diseases were the most prominent. “The Appalachian Eye Institute” was to be it’s name. What he spoke with Neil and I about was the fact he wanted Neil to be the hospital administrator. Although Neil was honored by the offer from Dr. Fuchs he couldn’t see himself as an administrator. I was a bit taken aback by Neil’s refusal, but I also knew my compassionate husband well enough to understand he would be miserable in a position such as that. Neil MacNeill needed to be active! He would feel cooped up inside of an office behind a desk. He was trained to be a physician, a surgeon, not an administrator. Dr. Fuchs did not allow Neil’s refusal to dissuade him. “If you do not want to be administrator, then name your position. Which position would you like? I want you as part of this hospital, Neil! Any position you want, claim it and it is yours! You want to be chief-surgeon? Just say the word and the position is yours. You want to be the head of the research department? Tell me and you shall be the head of the research department. Any position in the entire hospital is at your disposal. You may write your own ticket. ANY position is yours for the taking-- all you have to do is tell me which one you want.” Dr. Fuchs looked intently at Neil. By the way he looked at Neil I knew he was dead serious about his offer. Neil on the other hand was speechless. He had been hoping for a promotion, but this was far more then he had ever dreamed of! *Any* position he wanted was at his disposal! “I know I should jump at this opportunity, Dr. Fuchs. But I need to discuss this with Christy and of course pray about it before I give you a final decision. Could you give me some time to think it over?” “Take all the time you need Neil. I understand this is a huge step for you and your wife. You’re not accustomed to the idea. Take your time and discuss it in detail. Find out what your wife wishes. Make the best decision for you and your family, Dr. MacNeill.” ‘Your family’… I hadn’t thought about that, but it was true, I was Neil’s family and very soon, we hoped, we would have a child as well. Even though we had no child yet, this decision would affect our child--our children, also. Neil sat stunned for the longest time after Dr. Fuchs had left. He shook his head with a smile, then he would blink his eyes for an extended period. He’d swallow hard and shake his head again. Finally, at some length, he spoke, “Christy, I can hardly believe what I just heard! I’ve never had an offer like this before.” **I remembered what Neil had told me of his discussion with Starr Gatlin: “At that time I had three offers to consider for a beginning practice. Two were flattering offers. I was confused, torn about where my duty lay, how to make such an important decision. So--I went to see Dr. Gatlin. He was a wise old man. Just sat there smoking, let me do the talking. “By the time dusk was falling, I had talked myself out. And I knew what I had to do. The call of the mountains and my own people was too strong to deny. I knew how desperately they needed a doctor back in these hills and coves. Personal ambition didn’t matter really. I’ve never regretted that decision, simply because I wouldn’t have been happy anywhere else. One of these days some of the men I interned with will probably be as famous as Gatlin, McDougall, and the rest. I follow their careers with a lot of interest, rejoice in their successes, keep closely in touch with them… As a matter of fact, they’re the ones whose gifts of money and drugs make it possible for me to practice in the Cove.” I had gotten in to trouble for what I had said next, but Neil was correct I was impulsive. I didn’t know the mountain people then the way I did almost a year later. I had made some sweeping judgments of this man at that time… I would not allow myself to do so again.** Today, I would be just as Dr. Gatlin had been to Neil, without smoking a pipe. I would sit and let him do all the talking. I would only give my input where it was needed. And only *when* it was needed! Neil sat back in the chair for some time. Then got up and paced, standing occasionally to look out the window. All the while squeezing and pulling on the ends of his hair, though there was far less to hold on to then there had been when he did the same back in the Cove. He spoke of what he considered the pros and cons of each hospital position. After a few hours of talking he finally looked at me. A smile crossed his face and he came to sit on the edge of my bed. Taking my hands he looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry Sweetheart. I’ve not given you a chance to give your input. This is *our* life I’m discussing, not just my own. What are your views?” “Neil, I don’t know anything about the different positions in a hospital. All I know is that I want you to be happy. I want you to choose the one that is best for *you*!” I paused for a moment of thought. “Have you given any thought to returning to the Cove?” He looked pensively into my eyes, for a moment. Biting his lower lip. Once again pulling on the ends of his hair. “When I made my first decision to return to the Cove after finishing my internship I knew the Cove was the place for me. But now with Graham and Anderson taking over the ‘Doctoring’ in the cove, there is really no need for me back there.” “Yes, but you told me once before that the call to the mountains and your people was so strong; you knew how badly they needed a Doctor back in the hills and coves. You told me personal ambition didn’t matter really. You said you never regretted going back to the Cove, that you would never have been happy anywhere else. You need to give all of that some thought once again as well, Neil. I’ve received a blessing from the Lord. I have my sight back again. We can live anywhere you feel led to go. I can cope just as well in the Cove as I can in Vienna, or Knoxville, or… *anywhere*. We can raise a family in any of those places Neil. What do you feel is the leading of God in your life?” With that he rose again and went to the window. It would take a lot of prayer and soul-searching for Neil to make this decision. I was immensely impressed with the way Neil never allowed his personal ambition to interfere with what was the right thing to do. He put others before himself every time. I looked over at my struggling husband, “Neil, I want you to think about where *you* would be happiest. Where do *you* want to raise our family? What do *you* want out of life? Where do you want to be ten years from now? Five? Even in one year?” He continued to gaze out the window. The struggle etched on his face. A smiled played on the corners of Neil’s mouth as he turned his face to look at me. “*Our family*!” He chuckled softly. “I need to consider that too, don’t I?” I nodded my head slowly. I didn’t want to press the issue, but a family was a very real possibility for us one day… -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter XII As the weeks passed and I got stronger I was allowed to do more and more. I had been pretty badly beaten by the fall down the stairs and moving was an adventure in pain for the first few weeks. I had been allowed to go home, but I had to have a bed in the parlor for some time before I would be able to climb the stairs. Neil bought me a couch-bed, which reminded me of the one in David’s bunkhouse back in the Cove. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Seeing my home for the first time was a delightful experience. Many things were so much different then what I had pictured in my mind! But yet I knew where everything was and everything was familiar to me. The whole house captivated me! I felt like a child seeing ‘the whole lot’ for the first time! I was in a totally different country then where I had grown up. I felt as though I was in a fairy tale, I went to sleep… so to speak, in the middle of the Appalachian Mountains and woke again in the enchanting land of Austria! Neil’s face was aglow as he watched me, and helped me walk slowly around the house seeing all of our belongings for the first time. He had the most beautiful smile on his face as he looked at me and viewed the awe in my reactions to objects I had never seen before. This house was far from Neil’s ancestral cabin in the Cove. It was different but I loved it all the same because it was *our* home. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- My husband held me more often then he had ever done since we had declared our love for each other back in the Cove, which now seemed so long ago! “Neil,” I began one day as he had taken me into his arms for the countless time that day. “You keep looking at me as though you’re seeing me for the first time!” “I feel as though I am.” Neil stated. “For the first time since we’ve been married, I look into your eyes and I see a reaction. I can truly see the love you have for me in your eyes now. I thought I saw it before, and it’s possible that there was a glint of it there, but now it’s incredibly obvious!” He paused a moment. “I can smile at you now and you smile back at me. If I’m sad, you see it and you respond immediately! It all seems *new* to me!” He looked down and away from me a bit sadly. “Am I doing it too often?” “Never!” I announced as Neil’s face brightened immediately. “I love to look into your eyes too. I’d forgotten how expressive your eyes, and your face, are! I said it before, and it continues to be true today, if I could see only one thing again in my life, I would want it to be you. There are so many things about you I’ve missed, and that I’ve missed out on by not being able to see. I wish I could have seen your face on our wedding day… the day I accepted your proposal the second time… when I surprised you with my notes all over the house…” Neil had to laugh at that one. “I wish I could have seen the pride on your face as you gave your lecture at the university.” I placed my hand on the side of his face; he was still smiling at me. “I would love to have seen the look on your face as you kissed me for the first time as my husband.” I whispered. Neil cleared his throat and moved his eyes from me slightly, still smiling. “I know, I know.” I said. “It’s time to change the subject. After all, I’ve not even walked up the stairs yet… It’s just that… I miss you Neil.” “I miss you also, Sweetheart.” Neil said as he placed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I had been home for a few weeks when the headaches resumed again. They were bad, but not the excruciating ones I had in the past. Still, I had hoped to never have another headache as long as I lived. Maybe I was hoping for too much, but I had wished it none the less. These headaches seemed to take so much out of me, though! I would have a terrible headache, and then I would sleep sometimes twelve hours because of it. I’d wake up with a dull ache behind my eyes, which also made me tired! Not only did they make me tired, but they also made me queasy! I hated even the thought of food! Berta was a marvelous cook, so I knew it wasn’t the food that made me feel ill. It had to be these nearly constant headaches. I could tell by the look on Neil’s face he was concerned as well. Finally, after three weeks of this I told Neil I could take it no longer and I had to go to the Doctor before anything went wrong again! It petrified me to think I might ever end up back in that black world again. But the Doctor’s told me they could promise me nothing about the future, we could only pray for that. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- The Doctor examined me and when he was finished he told me to get dressed. Then he went to call Neil into his office. I was to meet them there when I was ready. Neil held my hand firmly, secure in his determination to stand by me no matter what the prognosis may be. He was just as scared as I was of the possible diagnosis. “Mr. And Mrs. MacNeill…Neil and Christy…You have been through so much in the time you’ve been here with us in Austria. We have had to bring you so much bad news.” Neil squeezed my hand harder, afraid of what the Doctor was about to say next. “It feels wonderful to be able to announce to you some wonderful news for a change!” He smiled a broad smile at us as Neil and I glanced at one another perplexed. “Christy, the headaches you’re having are not caused by your head injuries, but by hormones this time.” We both looked at him confused. “You’re pregnant, Christy! I‘d say you are about three months along. You were probably expecting when you fell down the stairs.” Neil and I looked at each other with surprise. Oh! How glad I was to hear that report, for Neil’s sake especially! God had given me a glimpse into Neil’s heart and had shown me the depth with which Neil wanted to be a father! I was so pleased to hear that yet another of his dreams was coming to pass! As well as my own. And to know that it was not my injuries that were causing these headaches made them that much easier to endure. After the Doctor left, Neil drew me close and hugged me securely, rocking me back and forth. “Oh, Christy! I can’t tell you how happy you’ve made me!” I was smiling from ear to ear. This is exactly what I had been hoping for us! “See, didn’t I tell you your assessment of my nausea at the Fuchs’ home was correct, Doctor?” “Yes, Christy, you’ve been saying that the entire time! I’m sorry I ever doubted your womanly intuition!” Neil smiled at me. “I’ll never doubt it again!” I raised my eyebrows as I looked at him, “Never!?!” “Well, maybe *never* is too strong of a word, but I will certainly have a higher regard for it then I had before!” “That’s better.” I admitted with a giggle. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- As we walked out of the Doctor’s office building a thought struck me hard. Neil noticed immediately. “Why do you look so sad, Sweetheart?” “Oh, it’s silly really.” I paused. “It’s just that this isn’t the way I always wanted to tell you we were expecting our baby.” Neil took my hand. “Maybe not, Christy, but I couldn’t be any happier no matter *how* I was informed!” “I’m glad to hear it.” I thought for a moment then slipped my arms around his waist as I looked up into his face. “I always wanted to make your favorite meal and over a romantic dinner by candlelight, I’d tell you of our baby, then we’d ‘celebrate’ our good news!” I winked at him. “We can still have a romantic dinner by candlelight, and I most definitely want to *celebrate* this wonderful news!” He winked back at me. “I love you Christy MacNeill!” “I love you too, Neil MacNeill!” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- I made Neil’s favorite meal, one of the few meals I’d ever made all by myself. I had never really prepared a full meal since our marriage. It was more difficult then I remembered! I had to stop and think of where things were in the kitchen and how to combine ingredients to get the effect I wanted. Neil seemed to enjoy the food, but I think he was just being kind. It could have been the news of our baby that made everything seem so much better--even my cooking! I made a mental note as I was attempting to cook, ‘starting tomorrow I would have Berta give me cooking lessons‘! At least the company at the dinner table was far better then the meal itself. I knew it would be, my husband and I could always find something to talk about, even if we wound up arguing over it, at least we had something to say. But this evening we had no arguments. All went as I had planned in my mind since Neil and I had first declared our love for each other back in the Cove. Everything except the fact that Neil already knew we were expecting *before* the meal began. Watching Neil’s face as it lit up speaking of our child was a great joy to me. Oh how I loved to watch him! I had never seen him so ecstatically happy as he was right now. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil continued to talk and think about Dr. Fuchs offer of a position in Tennessee. We sat one afternoon to discuss it once again. “Neil? Do you ever wish you hadn’t left the Cove?” “Left the Cove? …Occasionally--maybe. Especially when I don’t feel I fit in here. But I can do more good here, or at the new hospital, then I ever could if I remained in the Cove. Especially the way things are changing and people are moving out of the Cove. Besides…” He said, placing his hand on the firm, yet not quite noticeable expansion of my tummy, I smiled at him. He took my hand as well. “Besides, the Cove can’t offer what I want for my family. This little girl is going to get the best education I can offer her, she‘s going to have *all* of the things I never had! And my wife is not going to become a ‘mountain woman’. “Christy, I’ve been thinking about what you said to me about practicing in the Cove--the decision I made in Dr. Gatlin‘s office. Now with the baby coming, I know I have to choose differently then I did when I first finished my internship. I believe you and the baby need more then the Cove can provide. Yet I’m still unsettled about what to do next.” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- The following weeks found me feeling better all the time. I was excited for the baby to be born, but I wanted everything to go according to God’s timing. This baby was going to be just fine. I knew it from the bottom of my heart that all would go well. Neil was always bringing something home with him, nearly every evening! Either he brought baby dresses, or flowers for me, he was so generous and giving that I almost felt guilty at times for not being able to do more for him. His answer to that was always the same. “You’re carrying my baby inside of you! What better gift could you give to me then the chance to be a father again?” I was amazed at how Neil could sit for hours with his hand on my tummy waiting for that slight flutter of life, which he was convinced, were those of his daughter. By the time we discovered our baby was on the way Neil knew he’d be able to feel life soon. And he spent each moment he could with his hand on my tummy waiting… His face lit up like a child on Christmas morning as he felt the first kicks against his palm. “That’s daddy’s big girl!” Neil declared to my tummy. I had to suppress a giggle at his adamancy that the baby was a daughter! Watching the sheer joy on his face and in his voice was a pleasure. I had suspected this kind of joy from Neil when God had given me a peek inside of his heart. It thrilled my heart to see my husband in such high spirits. I thanked God daily for blessing me with the opportunity to actually *see* these amazing events take place! I wouldn’t trade them for the world!! As the months went by and the baby became more and more obvious to me and then Neil, followed by the rest of the world, I understood why Neil felt the way he did… This was truly *our* child! I was actually going to be a mother soon!! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter XIII After weeks of soul searching and prayer, Neil came to me one day. “Christy, I want to ask you a few questions. If you don‘t mind.” He looked so serious I worried. “Of course, Love. What are they?” I asked as we sat together in our parlor. “First of all, tell me what you’re plans were for the future, before you came to Cutter Gap?” “Well… Just like most other spoiled city girls, I wanted to marry the most popular boy and spend my life at teas, receptions, dress fittings, etc. Though when I look back on that time, it was all I had ever known--and yet it was not at all what I wished to do for the rest of my life. Then I heard Dr. Ferrand speak! It changed my whole outlook on life! I realized God had other plans for my life. He didn’t want me wasting my life, but using it to help others.” “What about once you’d lived in the Cove for awhile? What did you plan for the future then?” “I wanted to spend my life teaching! I wanted the children to learn--to get an education so they could expect more from their lives then their fathers had. You convinced me once when you told David the mountain men weren’t born lazy, they just grew up with nothing to look forward to! I had even hoped to begin adult education classes as well, but David wouldn’t hear of it. You know that for yourself. You heard David, you were there when he said it.” “I heard him.” Neil agreed. “What do *you* want for our child?” I had to think for a moment. “Well, I want *her*…” I emphasized and Neil chuckled. “…to have an excellent education. I want her to have all the necessities of life without becoming an unpleasant child either.” “Where would you like her to grow up?” That was difficult. “I know what it’s like to grow up in the city. But yet I look at you; you grew up in the Cove and you turned out wonderful! We would make sure Amelia grew up the same way no matter where we were.” I paused as I studied his countenance for a few moments. “But *your* future lies in the city, doesn’t it?” Neil’s eyes shot open. “How did you know?” “I’ve been praying about this as well, Love. What position are you thinking of?” “Chief Surgeon. Since it’s also a research hospital I’ll still be able to do research as I have the time. I *need* this Sweetheart. Do you understand?” “Of course I do! I’ll follow you anywhere!” I said. “I’ve known all along how much this means to you. Take the position you feel God leading you to take. Whatever it is!” “I will Christy!” Neil announced. “I’ll tell Dr. Fuchs on Monday that I’ll take the position of chief surgeon.” He looked away from me sadly. “What’s wrong Love?” “I hope I can do the job properly. Do I have the confidence--the ability, to do it?” “I *know* you can do it! Have the faith in yourself that you had in me when I had lost my eyesight! You never allowed me to give up on myself. I don’t want you to ever give up on yourself either! You can’t! I won’t allow you to! You can do anything you set your mind to. Remember when you told me that same thing?” I reached up and brushed the hair from his face. “I love you Neil MacNeill! Don’t ever give up on yourself. Please.” I placed my hands on the sides of his face and turned him to look at me. “’I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me‘. Lean on God and you can do anything you set your mind to.” Neil put his arms around me and drew me close, whispering into my ear. “Thank-you Sweetheart!” “You know what I’m looking forward to?” I said shyly. “What’s that?” “I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I’m looking forward to going home!” I said softly. “So am I!” Neil whispered just before he kissed me. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- The new hospital was set to begin seeing patients just after the beginning of the year. Neil was having a house built for us as well. I was excited to get back home once again! But Neil had to finish up with his research and duties at the hospital here in Austria first. Besides, as time went on, for me, there was to be no traveling for a while! My tummy was too cumbersome to allow me to go much of anywhere. It was wonderful! Each movement the baby made thrilled me! Every kick, every hiccup, every twist and turn. I knew very well that this was all a blessing sent by God for I could have, or maybe even should have died when the horse threw me and I cracked my head on a rock. But here I was, in Austria, with Neil expecting our first child in a few short months! Neil as well as Berta were both marvelous! They helped me as much as two people possibly could. Sometimes too much. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil and I walked and walked about Vienna! We went to see the puppet show in Wurstelprater. I adored watching the children as they watched the puppets in the booths. We rode the merry-go-round and toured the amusement park. We took a trip to Schönbrunn Palace and viewed the fake ancient ruins there. We bought a postcard for mother and father. But when we sent it out we didn’t mention to them about the baby for we hoped to be home by Thanksgiving and wanted to surprise them with their first grandchild. We visited the Swan Lake at Stadtpark and the trotting races in the square of the Prater. I told Neil I wanted to place money on a horse I noticed with a Scottish name. He agreed even though he disagreed with placing money on a horse that had such high odds of winning. I told him that I now had a Scottish ancestry and I knew the horse just had to be the winner… I was wrong of course. It was then that Neil informed me that the horse’s name was not Scottish, but in fact *Irish*! I slapped him playfully for allowing me to continue on in such a manner. Then I said, “It serves me right. Gambling is a sin.” Neil threw back his head and laughed. I had to follow suit, his laugh was contagious! At the Prater we rode the ‘Giant Wheel’, which was over two hundred feet high, all of iron, which was slow turning with almost an imperceptible movement but actually advanced two and a half feet a second. Everyone in Vienna knew this fact, for whatever reason. We walked the Elizabeth Promenade along the Danube Canal. We lunched at the Heinrichshof Café, which was across the street from the Imperial Court Opera House. Dining in Vienna was an experience for there were many that catered to intellectuals; it was not unusual to find people sitting at tables writing poetry or even novels! There was always someone willing to discuss the latest books, theater, politics, science and aesthetics. I was dearly enjoying just sitting and observing the people everywhere we went and of course the scenery and the architecture was magnificent. Neil took me to the theatre and the opera. I enjoyed the Baroque architecture of Vienna. Though it was beginning to change with the help of Otto Wagner, there was much still to see and enjoy and I am convinced it shall never change completely! But everywhere you went there was the talk of Austria seceding. Austrian’s wished to be their own nation, their own people. They did not wish to be governed by anyone. There were protests and demonstrations everywhere by the secessionist movement. Though I felt in no real danger, this was fueling something bigger then anyone wished to admit, I was sure of it. Through it all our baby grew daily. Active and *large*! Neil enjoyed every movement he felt of his ‘daughter’ and would sit for an hour or more with his hand upon ‘her’ awaiting even the smallest movement from ‘her’. It was as joyous a time for us as we could possibly have hoped for under the circumstances. -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil paced back and forth in the tiny room. He had been doing so for hours already. In his haste to leave the house in the wee hours of the morning he hadn’t thought about bringing his pocket watch. In the hurry to leave he was lucky he remembered to put on his trousers let alone anything else! Now, he needed a shave. A bath and comb to his hair wouldn’t hurt either, but those were the last things on his mind at the moment. All he could do was pace, smoking his pipe as though he were a locomotive chugging up a steep hill! At the same time his hair was getting the worst of things again as he pulled and tugged nervously at the ends of it. When he delivered babies back in the Cove it never seemed to take this long! Why on earth was the birth of *their* child taking forever? He paced, puffed and tugged some more. Waiting, pacing, and still more waiting! If only he could be in the delivery room things wouldn’t seem to take so long! Pacing in this room was ridiculous! Why couldn’t he, a physician, and not only a physician, but also one who worked right here in this very hospital, be allowed into the delivery room? Finally a nurse came to the Dutch door and called through the top half of the door. “Dr. MacNeill?” Neil was over to the door in a flash. “Yes! That’s me!” “A nurse will be bringing your little girl to the window in a few moments.” She said with a smile as her eyes scrutinized Neil’s appearance. “Little girl!?!” Neil exclaimed. “I have a daughter?” “Yes, Dr. MacNeill! That’s what I’ve been told.” Neil let out a whoop and a holler that could be heard down the corridor. Nurses, Doctors, Interns and Aids all turned toward the sound and smiled. The nurse who had been sent to speak with Neil slipped silently away. Neil’s eyes were glued to the large window in the waiting room looking for any sign of activity. Awaiting the first glimpse of his little girl. He chided himself that in the excitement of the moment he had forgotten to ask how Christy was doing! How could he have been so stupid as to forget that? Wasn’t she the most important figure in all of this? Who had gone through more today anyhow? He assumed no news was good news. If anything had happened to Christy they would have told him so right away. A nurse in a scrub suit and mask walked to the window holding a bundle in her arms. She motioned for Neil to come closer as she lifted the flap of the blanket to reveal a small pink baby with sandy-red hair. The burly Dr. MacNeill who had lived through feuds, gunshot wounds, stabbings--any number of terrors in the Cove swooned and fell over in a dead faint at the sight of his baby girl! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Chapter XIV-Finale (Of Part 2) Author’s Note: I just wanted to thank Paula B. and her dad for the help they gave me some of my information on World War I. I do hope I did justice to it! Thank-you so much!! ~Anne Neil came storming into the room when they allow him to finally see me. His hair disheveled and a bandage on his head. There were dark circles under his eyes, deep lines etched into his cheeks and forehead. His clothes were all wrinkled. “Hello Neil!” I said with surprise. “What happened to your head?” “I’ve got a pump knot on my head the size of a winter pinecone, but it’s worth it.” “I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you talking like that again! I haven’t heard you use any mountain expressions since I left Tennessee!” “Why shucks ma’am! If’n I’d knowed yah was amissen hit so much I’d shorely used hit more offen!” I giggled. “Have you seen our daughter yet?” “Oh yes! That’s how I got this bump on my head! She certainly is beautiful, Christy! Have you seen her?” “Yes, Neil. I was there when she came into the world, remember?” “She’s the most beautiful baby on the planet!” Neil declared. “I agree, we might be a tad prejudiced, don’t you think?” “Never! Anyone could look at our baby girl and see she’s the most beautiful baby there ever was!” I chuckled at Neil’s enthusiasm. “Well, I’m glad you approve, Daddy!” Neil‘s eyes shot wide-open as he stood with his mouth agape. “Daddy? I’m a daddy!” I nodded my head vigorously, with raised eyebrows. He came over to the bed and kissed me enthusiastically. “Thank-you Sweetheart! You’ve made every one of my dreams come true!” “I didn’t, Neil. God did.” “I know, but He used *you* to make so many of them come to pass.” Just then a knock on the door startled us both and it opened slightly as a nurse peeked around. “I have a young lady here who would like to visit with her mother and father!” The nurse sang as she brought Amelia into the room. “Here father, why don’t you have the honors first?” She said. “To begin with you need to put on this gown and mask over here.” The nurse told Neil as she pointed to a stack of cloth on a shelf. “But I’m a physician and a surgeon! I’m always careful of germs! Why do I have to wear those?” “For one thing, germs may still be on your clothing. And second is that it is hospital policy. If you do not wear them then you cannot hold your daughter!” The nurse smiled broadly as she watched the expression on Neil’s face. She knew that announcement would hit the center of the mark she was aiming for. Neil had the gown and mask on in a matter of seconds! Then the nurse showed Neil how to hold the baby. Not in the manner he was used to in delivering them, but the proper way, supporting her head and back. “Isn’t she beautiful?” Neil asked the nurse. “Yes, that she is Dr. MacNeill!” The nurse said smiling at daddy and daughter. “Mrs. MacNeill, has your husband told you why his head is bandaged?” I shook my head. “No, but I’ve been wondering about it.” “I am only saying this because the Doctor who treated him asked me to do so. When I brought your daughter to the window your husband fainted. He bumped his head on a table. He is to rest and tell us if he feels strange in any way. Tingling in his hands, nausea, etc. So if you hear him complain of anything, or notice that he’s acting unusual--” At this moment Neil was speaking baby-talk to our daughter and the nurse smiled. “Perhaps I should say unusual even for a new father, you will be certain to tell us, will you not?” “I will do just that. Thank-you for telling me, I know Neil never would have. I’ll be on the look out for anything out of the ordinary for a new daddy.” We giggled together, but Neil didn’t seem the least bit amused. The nurse turned and smiled at Neil; he did not reciprocate. She continued to smile as she headed out the door. Looking back at us one last time she said, “I will be back later. Enjoy your time with your daughter. When she fusses for something to eat ring for me and I will come back.” Neil walked over to me and sat on the edge of the bed. I couldn’t help but smile at the sparkling eyes which peered over the top of the surgical mask. I don’t think I had ever seen Neil so happy. Although our wedding portrait came close. “So do you like your daughter, Mr. MacNeill?” “I love *our* daughter, Sweetheart!” Looking up at me, Neil lowering his mask leaned in toward me, and placing his hand on my cheek he whispered. “Thank-you for giving her to me.” He kissed me, not in a passionate way, but in some way it contained all of his love for us, his happiness, his pride, his concern for both Amelia and myself today as he waited nervously in the waiting room--it some how seemed to contain everything he felt for Amelia, and I. “I love you Sweetheart.” Neil whispered as he drew back just far enough to look into my eyes. “I love you too, Neil!” I answered softly. “Thank-you also for our daughter. She’s wonderful!” We both turned to look back at Amelia who was sound asleep in her daddy’s arms. “She looks very much like my mother, Christy! I thought she’d look just like you.” “Only time will tell who she will look like when she’s older, but since your mother meant so much to you and we named our daughter after her, I’m glad Amelia Jean looks like Jean MacNeill.” I paused a moment looking at Neil’s profile. He had tears in his eyes as well as a few glistening on his cheek. “Neil, are you alright?” “I’m fine, Sweetheart.” Neil said, looking away from me. “No you’re not, what’s wrong Love?” “I was thinking about--last time--” he said softly. “You’re son?” He nodded his head, and just above a whisper he said, “Yes.” Swallowing hard he continued. “He was so tiny. He never had a chance. He was born far too early. I held him, talked to him. His mother--” Neil swallowed hard again. “His mother didn’t really want him, for she didn’t want to-- as she said, ‘perpetuate her kind’--” I placed my fingers on his lips. “Neil, please don’t say anymore.” He shook his head. This time there was no teasing. I moved closer to him, as best I could this close to Amelia’s birth. “I’ve told you dozens of times how *I* feel about you. There are no such thoughts going on in my mind! I love Amelia with all my heart. I’ve wanted her since before she was conceived! I’m very proud to have had *your* daughter. “Don’t ever think those bad thoughts any longer! Amelia will grow up thinking the world of her daddy. Do you know why?” Neil shook his head, looking down at the tiny pink bundle in his arms. “Because I do!” I placed my hand on his cheek and turned his head to face me. “She’ll have respect and love for you because I will model it for her. Plus, you are going to be the greatest daddy any child could ever ask for! You’ve already been a wonderful daddy for Amelia, even before she was born. There is no man on this earth who ever wanted a child *more* then you! You will earn her love and respect because you genuinely love her and want only the best for her.” “I love you Christy.” Neil whispered. “You make me feel so good about myself.” “I’m glad! I love you too Neil.” -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- The time past by so quickly following Amelia Jean’s birth that I could hardly believe it when we were packing up everything we wanted to ship back to America as well as readying *ourselves* to leave Austria. As much as I wanted to go home, I hated that much to leave Austria behind, but the political unrest in this country was escalating and the only way for us to leave safely, was to leave soon. Neil and I had spent our entire married life here! I looked forward to beginning a new life in America with Neil and Amelia, but there would always be a special place in my heart for Austria because of all that had happened while we lived here--Neil had learned so much and had grown in self-confidence while he was here. I had regained my sight. Amelia was born here! But America was home and I longed to be back there again! We were planning our trip so we would arrive in Asheville the day before Thanksgiving. (We were planning a side-trip to Scotland.) My parents had no idea they were grandparents yet! I hadn’t told them that I regained my sight either. These were to be surprises for them when we arrived. We planned to arrive at their home Thanksgiving morning and surprise the entire family! I could hardly contain my joy at the thought of being together with my family once again on Thanksgiving Day! It had been nearly two years since I had seen my family last. So much had happened that I could hardly wait to tell them all our news and hear all of theirs! -=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=- Neil came home near the end of June yelling my name in a most anxious manner. One that I had never before heard from him. It made me sit up and take notice of him immediately. I was sitting in the parlor nursing Amelia when he arrived. Passing the parlor door as he first arrived at home, Neil did not even see us sitting there until he entered through the entrance leading from the Dining Room. Breathlessly he entered the room and sank into the chair beside us. “Christy, you will never believe what has happened!” “I’m sure I won’t Neil, what on earth is it!” The look in his eyes frightened me a little. “Archduke Ferdinand has been assassinated in Sarajevo!” Archduke Francis Ferdinand was the heir to the Austrian throne. “Dear God! It can’t be true!” “It is! I heard it at the hospital. Talk is that there will be a war. Austria is seriously considering declaring war on Serbia.” “Austria at war? I can hardly believe it!” “Not only Austria at war, but we are in the midst of it. I have seen much unrest in Vienna on my way from the hospital. I fear we must leave here as quickly as possible. We may not even be able to leave in the way we had planned. There may have to be a change in our plans if we do not leave as soon as may be.” “Yes--yes, of course. We shall leave as soon as ever may be, Neil. I will ready all of our things.” “I will have our furnishing, trunks and boxes sent out as quickly as possible. Hopefully I will be able to get them shipped home before war is declared. Whether they will ever arrive at our home remains to be seen.”… That hope was in vain for directly on the heels of the assassination was the declaration of war. Neil had everything shipped, but whether or not they would ever arrive at our destination was another matter entirely. Though getting our belongs shipped home was an important aspect to us, our main concern was of course to get ourselves home safely. Traveling with Amelia would be a sticky situation, but there was no other way. In fact Amelia would be the pressing concern for us. She would be our driving force to get home safely for she had only begun her life and she *must* be brought to America safely. End of “To Austria With Love“. Coming soon, the finale in this trilogy: “Escape from Austria”-Chapter One. At least that is what I plan to call it at the moment. It may change! BTW, it may be a while before Part 3 is finished and posted! Sorry! Homeschooling with 2 in High School is much more difficult then I imagined! Besides all the other stuff we've been going through lately! I'm really sorry! Anne