Disclaimer: The LeSourd Family owns Catharine Marshall’s “Christy.”  I am continuing
the story for my own amusement and am in no way seeking profit or credit. 

Title: “Promises”
Author: Emma O.
Summary:  This fanfic is an attempt to finish up the television series that ended with
Christy poised between David and Neil, trying to come up with an answer to David’s
proposal.


Chapter 1

The box in Christy’s hand got heavier and heavier as she struggled to keep her emotions
in check.  She looked from David to Neil and back again, only to see the children over
David’s shoulder.  The children!  She had to think of them!  Christy squeezed her eyes
tightly shut in an attempt to will the world away.  So many thoughts.  So many
questions.  The silence of those around her proved only to mock the voices screaming
inside her head.  They got louder and louder and jumbled together until Christy thought
she, herself, would scream.

And then there was quiet and her mind cleared as she felt a tug on her sleeve.
Christy’s eyes opened to reveal Mountie O’Teale looking up at her, curiosity
illuminating her large eyes.  Christy bent down to brush a stray wisp of hair out of
Mountie’s face.  “Teacher,” Mountie said, barely above a whisper.  “Are you okay?”
Christy nodded and smiled, deeply touched by the concern of the little girl.  Bolstered
by the positive response she received, Mountie worked up the courage to ask, “Ya’ gonna
marry the preacher?”

“Are you going to marry him?” echoed Margaret’s voice inside Christy’s own head as she
was instantly transported back to a similar conversation they had had only days ago.
“The preacher, I mean.  You should, you know.”

“I know,” Christy replied aloud to Margaret, still lost in her memory.

“You know what, Teacher?” asked a confused Mountie.

Christy shook her head quickly to get rid of the image of Margaret in front of the El
Pano Teahouse.  “I know,” Christy recovered, “that you are so dear to be worried about
me.  But I am fine!”  She looked up at the rest of her students.  “And if I’m not
mistaken,” she continued as she stood up and took Mountie’s hand in hers, “the school
day is not over quite yet.  I believe Reverend Grantland was going to give you a math
test this afternoon.  Have you taken it?”

“No ‘um,” Mountie replied, prompting groans from the children on the steps.

“Christy,” implored David, finding his voice at last.  “The math test can wait.  We
need to talk.”

“Ruby Mae,” Christy called out, stepping past David and putting his request on hold.
“Could you please gather everyone back inside?  Reverend Grantland will be along in
just a moment.”  Ruby Mae nodded eagerly, proud to be put in charge, and began herding
the children to their seats.  At the same time, Christy gently sent Mountie on her way.
When they were all safely inside the school house, Christy turned to see David just
inches from her and Neil, further beyond, still on his horse at the edge of the school
yard.  What was she going to do?

** ** **

“David,” Christy said as she smiled up into his gentle face.  What a wonderful man he
was!  Good.  God-fearing.  Strong.  A wealth of promises shone from his eyes as he
anticipated her affirmative answer to his proposal.  She knew she needed to handle this
situation as carefully as possible to keep from hurting the man she knew she would call
husband.  “Please trust me and go to the children,” Christy beseeched him as she closed
the ring box, slipped it into her pocket and stepped past him once more to confront
Neil.

David felt like he had been slapped.  “But!” he nearly shouted, causing Christy to turn
back to him.

Christy stopped his protests by placing a finger to his lips.  “David, if you love me
you will let me handle this the best way I know how.  Please see to the children and I
will be ready to answer you when they go home for the day.”  David nodded, his lips
pursed together in frustration.

“Fine,” he muttered angrily.  Then, softening when a look of hurt crossed Christy’s
face, he continued, “I do love you, Christy Huddleston.  Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t,” she whispered as he turned away and jogged toward the school.

Neil sat in turmoil while the events in front of him unfolded.  What would her answer
to Grantland be?  Why was she sending the preacher away?  Could it be she was feeling
what he was too and needed to speak with him?  Neil winced as Christy gently placed her
fingers on David’s lips.  It was so personal.  So loving.  “No,” he thought as he
jerked involuntarily in pain.  “She can’t love him.”

The whinny of Neil’s horse as his master shifted in the saddle reminded Christy of his
presence.  Why was he here?  Why wasn’t he with Margaret?  Margaret.  The hurt she had
felt at seeing them in each other’s arms welled up inside her again and threatened to
erupt.  She turned on her heel to face him, ready to tell him to go back to his wife.
But the agony on his face stopped her before she could form the words.

“Christy,” he whispered in a husky voice.  His eyes looked through hers into her very
soul, as she stood paralyzed before him.  All thought left her mind and all resolve
abandoned her as his hypnotic stare communicated with a place deep inside her.
“Please,” he pleaded.  “We need to talk.  Away from here.  Come with me, lass.  Ride
away with me, my love.”

“My love…my love…” his voice echoed through her body and made her heart sing.  How she
had longed to hear him utter those words!

Finding release, Christy ran to Neil as if her life depended on it.  Without thinking
she reached out to him and he easily swung her up behind him.  His smile was as bright
as the sun and she clung to him as he turned the horse to run.  “It’s just like my
dream,” she thought curiously.  But Christy remembered the rest of her dream and
sobered as she looked over her shoulder to see David staring after them as if his world
was about to end.

Chapter 2

Hot tears of shame coursed down Christy’s cheeks as she and Neil sped along.  What was
she thinking?  Had she abandoned all sense and decorum?  How could she do this to
David?  Neil was a married man who could offer her no future!  She had to go back.

“Stop, Neil!” Christy shouted over the thundering of hoof beats.  “Stop, please,” she
implored him.  Neil slowed Charlie quickly to a walk and Christy jumped off before they
had come to a complete stop.  Losing her balance when she reached the ground, Christy
fell into an ungraceful heap on the trail.

“What in the blazes are you doing, Christy?” Neil shouted in concern as he climbed down
from Charlie and ran back to her.

“I’m going back to the Mission,” she retorted as she tried to stand.  But a firm hand
kept her on the ground.  Neil crouched down beside her and she dropped her head to hide
her tears.

“Let me look at you and make sure you’re okay before you try to stand,” he said with a
sigh of exasperation.  What a mystery this woman was to him!  Hadn’t she just happily
sped away with him?  What had happened in the few minutes they had been riding to cause
her to change her attitude like this?  He checked her ankles and wrists for mobility.
Everything seemed to be in good working order.  Noticing her bowed head he reached up
to brush a hand across her cheek and she stiffened.  “Christy?” he asked in a confused
voice.  

She was torturing herself.  He was torturing her.  His very presence was ripping at her
heart.  Why wouldn’t he just go away?  “Please God,” she thought, “Just let him go
away.  Make me forget about Neil McNeill altogether!”

“Christy?” he asked again.

Christy, who had been silent since he began his exam, shook her head and whispered
“No.”  

“Look at me, Christy,” Neil said gently.  When she didn’t respond he took her face in
his hands and lifted her eyes to his.  “Christy, what is wrong, lass?”  Her
tear-streaked face continued to shake slowly from side to side as her haunted eyes
searched his for the answer to a question she dared not ask.  And then they went stony
as she stilled.  Always able to read her like a book, Neil felt as though she had built
a wall between them.  But why?  “Christy, please?”

“This is wrong, Neil,” Christy said plainly.  “I was wrong to ride away with you.  I
must go back.”

“Wrong?” cried Neil.  “But why?”

“You are a married man, Doctor!” Christy reverted to a more formal mode of address as
she struggled to her feet.  “Have you forgotten how tongues wagged after Bessie saw us
at the river?  What will people say when their children go home and tell them that I
rode off with you after David asked me to marry him?”  She shook her head again and
turned away from Neil.  “What an utter fool I am.”

“Christy, wait,” cried Neil as he walked after her.  “We still need to talk.  Turning
your back on me will not make that fact go away.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Christy said coolly as she continued back up the path.

“And I say that there is,” Neil huffed as he ran to block her way.

Christy tried to maneuver around him to no avail.  “I need to get back to David.  I
promised him I’d be there when the children left.”

“Not until we sort this out,” exclaimed Neil in a firm tone.  He took Christy’s arm and
led her to a fallen log at the side of the path.  “Please sit,” he offered.  Christy
straightened her back, removed her arm from his grasp and lowered herself onto the log.
Neil ran a hand through his unruly curls and sat down next to her.  “Why did you come
by my cabin today?” he inquired.  “And why did you leave before we could talk?”
Christy did not reply.  

“Why did you hesitate to accept Grantland’s proposal back there?”  And why did you
agree to ride off with me?  What happened during our short journey to change your mind?
And why are you running away now?”  The questions flowed from Neil’s mouth like a
river.  He couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“I am not running away,” countered Christy, looking straight ahead.  “I’m here, aren’t
I?”

“I’ll give you that much,” Neil sighed.  But what about the other questions, Christy?
Can you answer me, please?

“Fine, Neil,” Christy said curtly as she steeled her heart and steadied her voice.  “I
came by your cabin today to ask you to teach the children one day next week.  I left
because I saw you with Margaret and I didn’t want to interrupt your personal moment.  I
didn’t accept David right away because it wasn’t right to disrupt the children’s school
day so.  I rode off with you so we could have the pointless talk we are having right
now.  I changed my mind because in the heat of the moment I made a horrible error in
judgment.  And if you are done interrogating me, I would like to return to the
Mission.”

Neil stared, mouth agape, at the woman next to him.  Pointless talk?  She sounded like
a stranger.  Interrogation?  Never before had she been so detached from him.  Never
before had she tried to wound him with her words.  “I see,” was all he could mutter.

Taking that as her cue to go, Christy rose.  But as she took her first step away from
Neil toward the comfort of the Mission house, she heard a sound that made her turn.  A
small sob escaped Neil’s throat.  “Why?” he whispered in a small voice.  “Why are you
trying to hurt me so?  I thought you were my best friend.”

Christy’s cool façade was betrayed by her heart as she whispered in reply, “I am.”

“No, you are not the Christy Huddleston I know,” Neil said hotly as he stood.  “The
Christy I know is honest and open.  She challenges me.  She talks through her problems
with me.  And heaven knows why, she believes in me and supports me.  But never would
she turn her back on me after making cowardly remarks.”  Neil spun and walked toward
Charlie.

This time it was Christy’s turn to stare in stunned awe.  Had she really been that
hateful?  Was she taking the cowardly way out?  She had only been trying to do what was
right.  Instead, she made a horrible mess of things.  As usual, he had seen right
through her.  But instead of vexing her as his insight usually did, it merely defeated
her.  “You’re right,” she admitted, feeling shame for the second time that afternoon.

“What?” asked Neil as he turned to face her once more.

“You’re right.  You are.”  Christy took a deep breath and continued.  “I haven’t been
honest with you today, Neil.  But it’s a long story.  Do you have the time?”

“What about your appointment with Grantland?” asked Neil as he considered her offer.

“David will understand.”  Christy walked toward him and extended her hand.  “I have a
dear friend I need to talk with.”

** ** **

“Where is he?” wondered Margaret aloud for what seemed like the hundredth time in the
past half hour.  After watching in misery as Neil chased after the schoolteacher
Margaret had started to pace by the river.  Up and down she walked as the events of the
last few days ran through her head.  The women showing up at the teahouse.  The awful
confrontation with her mother.  Christy’s strange visit to convince her to try again
with her family.  Neil tearing from her embrace at the sight of Christy leaving.

What a dreamer the teacher was!  What a naïve little girl!  And to think that Margaret
had let herself get sucked into Christy’s fairytale!  “I come back, Mac opens his arms
to me and Mother forgives me.”  Margaret brushed the tears away that had begun to roll
down her cheeks.  “Hah!  What a laugh!” she thought as she splashed a handful of cool
water on her warm cheeks.  But as she stood up she reconsidered Christy’s words.  “It
may be hard, but she was right.  Mac is worth fighting for.  And I won’t give him up.”
With that she set off up the path to the Mission in search of her husband.


Chapter 3

Neil and Christy walked alongside Charlie all the way to the river in silence.  Once
the horse was watered and resting, Neil joined Christy on the grassy bank.  “Where have
you gone, lass?” Neil inquired, noting her faraway look.

“I was just thinking about the last time you brought me to the river.”  Neil smiled at
the memory of teaching her to fly fish.  “You were so patient as you waited for a tug
on the line,” she continued.  “But when you finally caught the fish you let it go
again, saying that the dance was more important than the frying pan.”

Neil nodded in amusement as she went on.  “You may think you were being clever, Neil,
but I understood perfectly what you meant.  Our whole relationship has been a dance.”
She paused and looked into his eyes.  “The others dancing with us have been slowly
dropping out and the circles are getting smaller and smaller, bringing us closer
together.  But now it seems that we’re down to four in the innermost circle:  Margaret,
you, David and me.”  Neil’s brow furrowed as he concentrated on her metaphor.

“Can I tell you about our dance, Neil?  I want to tell you about our dance.  But I have
to go farther back.”  She turned from him again and stared at the river.  “It began the
day I first saw you.  You frightened me.  You embarrassed me.  Everything around us was
so new to me and you wanted so much from me at our first meeting.  With the long walk
from El Pano before the surgery on Bob Allen, I just didn’t have it in me.  We were
like strangers passing on the dance floor in search of other partners.

“And we stayed as strangers until that night in your cabin with Becky O’Teale.  Your
struggle with the decision to operate on Becky was obviously hard on you.  But I kept
pushing.  And you really looked at me that night for the first time as someone with
whom you could dance.  But I didn’t see it until the next day when you told me you
would not be going to Baltimore.  How my heart leapt for joy in that instant!

“And so the dance began.  Like a promenade we would dance together and then with
others.  Parting company only to come back to each other once more.  We drifted so far
apart when Margaret came back the first time.  And yet, when you helped my father
through his recovery we seemed to be so close.  We flirted with the destiny of the
dance right here next to this very river.  For just a moment everything was right.  But
our discussion of Dan Scott tore us apart again.  You risked your reputation for me
after Bessie spread that awful lie and yet you closed yourself off to me when Nathan
Stone was visiting.”

“Christy,” Neil began.  But Christy silenced him with a look as she finished her tale.

“I turned to David as my partner after that.  We nearly married when baby Iris was
found at the Mission, you know.  But with the confusion at the Teahouse in El Pano, it
was you, not David, who comforted me.  It was with you I wanted to dance.  But now
there is Margaret, again.  And still there is David.”  She reached up to brush a lock
of hair back from his eyes.  “Here we are, the four of us.  The music is about to
begin.  It’s time to choose partners.”

Neil broke from Christy’s gaze and stood to walk to the edge of the riverbank.  He was
afraid he would drown in her beautiful blue eyes and needed to catch his breath.  He
picked up a few flat round stones and began to skip them.  “You asked me to be honest
with you, Neil,” Christy continued to Neil’s back.  “Here is honest.  I came to your
cabin today because I wanted to tell you that I love you.  I’ve loved you since we
started this crazy waltz.  I just didn’t realize it until the music came to an abrupt
end at the Teahouse.”  Neil froze mid-way through a skip at her revelation and the rock
in his hand plopped into the water in front of him.

“Seeing Margaret in your arms today was more than I could take.  I felt like such a
fool.  Just because I loved you didn’t mean you’d love me back.  And after all, it was
I who told Margaret you were worth fighting for.  Obviously she took my advice and
rekindled the love you once shared.  I rode off to keep from embarrassing myself or
either of you any further.”

Neil turned to look at Christy in amazement.  She loved him!  Had he heard her
correctly?  Neil felt struck dumb.  Even if he could think of the right words to share
with her he wouldn’t be physically able to utter them.

Afraid she wouldn’t be able to go on if Neil spoke, Christy plunged ahead to keep from
losing her nerve.  “I hesitated in accepting David’s proposal today for the simple
reason that you appeared.  I was confused and hurt.  But I foolishly hoped against
reason that you had come because you loved me too.  And then I thought again of
Margaret in your arms.  

“That’s when I came to my senses and asked David to go inside with the children.  I was
going to send you away.  I was going to put you out of my heart forever.  But then you
asked me to ride with you.  I was so overcome by the feelings I was trying to hide that
I tricked myself into hearing you call me your love.  I had wanted you to love me for
so long that I read more into your words than you meant.  And for just a moment I lived
out my girlish fantasy of riding off into the sunset with my prince…my bonnie prince.”

Neil took a step toward her, prompting her to talk even faster.  “But as we rode away I
realized I was making a huge mistake.  Your place is with Margaret and mine with David.
She has come back, Neil and she wants to work things out.  You can be happy with
Margaret again.  I know you can.  And I can be happy with David.  He is a good man.  He
loves me and I love him.  We will find fulfillment together in God’s mission for us
here in the Cove.

“I’m so sorry I made a fool of myself to you,” she apologized.  “I know you look on me
as a dear friend and nothing more.  I don’t ever want to lose you as my friend, Neil.
I hope you know that you will always find friendship in me.”  She dropped her gaze to
study the pattern of her skirt.  She breathed deeply and exhaled a cleansing sigh.
There!  She had been honest.  In unburdening her heart she had lifted a crushing
weight.  Now she needed only to get back to David.  She owed him an explanation and an
answer.  She pulled her legs under her and gathered her skirt in preparation to stand.

Watching Christy ready herself to leave, Neil snapped out of his stupor and rushed
forward.  He fell to his knees in front of her, evoking a small cry of shock.  Her eyes
flew open wide as she met his gaze.  “I cannot fathom how you came into my life,
Christy Huddleston.”  Neil’s brogue was thick as he took her hands in his.  “Nor can I
fathom the depth of the emotion I feel when I am around you.  I know I haven’t the
right, but so help me, I love you with my whole being.”  He pulled her closer toward
him, causing Christy’s heart to skip a beat.  “I have loved you since the moment I set
eyes on you.” As Christy’s eyes pooled with confused tears he leaned forward to whisper
in her ear.  “And you didn’t trick your mind into anything, lass.  I did call you my
love!”

Neil’s hot breath on Christy’s cheek caused her to shudder as her own breathing
quickened to match the pace of his.  For an eternal moment they sat perfectly still,
clinging to one another.  And then, in movements so slow they evoked pain from longing,
Neil carefully pulled Christy up to stand before him.  He released her hands and gently
cupped her face.  He drank in the sweetness of her mouth, still slightly parted in
surprise, before he raised his gaze to meet hers again.  He saw Christy close her eyes
and heard her sigh as he brushed her bottom lip with his thumb.  How he longed to kiss
her!  How he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her as his own for all eternity.

Christy trembled as her heart threatened to defeat her head.  How she wanted him to
kiss her!  How she wanted to feel his strong arms enfold her in a passionate embrace!
How she longed to be with him forever as his friend, his helpmate and his wife.  His
wife…

Margaret!

Christy’s eyes flew open and with a cry she pushed against the doctor’s chest.  The
warmth of their embrace was suddenly replaced by the chill of loneliness as their
bodies parted.  “No,” Christy cried as she raised her hands to her flaming face.  “We
can’t!  Oh God, what did I almost do?”

“Christy, don’t!”  Neil reached out to her in desperation.

Christy retreated a step, just out of his grasp.  “I’m so sorry, Neil,” Christy bit
back a sob as she took another step back.  “I’m sorry I let it get this far.  I didn’t
mean for it to go this far.”

“But, Christy, you’ve done nothing…” Neil broke off as she burst into tears.

“Margaret is waiting for you, Doctor.  And David is waiting for me.  Please, go to her.
Love her and make a life with her as I intend to do with David.”  Christy turned to
flee but felt her energy leave her in a rush and she dropped to her knees.  Neil was at
her side in an instant, enveloping her in a comforting embrace.  Her body wracked with
sobs as she cried from the depths of her soul.  Neil held her and rocked her gently,
his own tears freely flowing, until her crying slowed and finally ceased.

“Please, Christy,” Neil implored.  “You cannot marry David.  You do not love him as you
do me.  I know it to be true.  Don’t make a decision you’ll come to regret.  Don’t hurt
us both so.”

Christy felt instantly enraged as she disentangled herself from his embrace.  “How dare
you ask that of me?  You are a married man, Doctor.  You have a whole life ahead of you
than can never include me.  How can you ask me to throw my life away for something that
can never be?”  She ignored his look of anguish as she stood, leaving him on the
ground.  She didn’t care if she hurt him now.  He had hurt her immeasurably by
intimating dreams that would never come true.  “You don’t know what I feel for David!
Don’t pretend to know what’s best for me.  You have no right!  Go home to your wife,
Doctor,” she said coldly and she turned to walk away.

“And what about us?” Neil asked flatly, thoroughly defeated.

Christy stopped and whirled on her heel.  “There can never be any ‘us,’” she said with
finality as she retrieved the small box from her pocket.  And as Neil watched in
despair, she slipped David’s ring on her finger and marched purposefully away.




Chapter 4

“All right, children,” David announced in his loud pastoral voice.  “School is
adjourned!  Have a good afternoon.”  The whoop of the students as they fled from their
posts was nearly deafening.  David was glad for the noise.  It temporarily filled the
void left in his chest when Christy rode away with McNeill.  

What had happened?  She had looked at him with such feeling only moments before.  She
had touched his lips so gently and asked him to trust her.  He had believed in her.  He
had believed in them.  And then she ran toward the doctor as if Satan himself was
chasing her.  He felt so betrayed.  But then…she had looked sad when she turned to see
him on the steps.  That had to mean something, didn’t it?  David clung to that small
thread of hope.

“Preacher,” came a voice from behind him.  David turned to see Creed Allen standing in
the aisle, his stance full of fire and his voice full of purpose.  “We need ta have us
a talk.  Man to man-like.”  

David grinned in spite of himself.  “Alright, Creed.”  David ushered the boy to the
front of the schoolhouse and they sat on the steps.  “What can I do for you?”

“Oh no, Preacher,” Creed nodded firmly.  “It’s what I kin do fer you!”  Creed puffed up
his chest as he continued.  “Now we ‘uns know what happened t’day with Teacher.  And I
got me some thoughts on that fer ya.”

“Creed, I don’t think we should be discussing…”

“Shoot, fire, Preacher!” exclaimed Creed, cutting David off.  “Now are ya gonna listen
quiet-like or am I gonna have ta take my wisdom home with me?”  David bit his lip hard
to keep from laughing at the lad.  A good belly laugh would do him good about now.  But
he could see that Creed was in earnest.

“Now!” Creed sighed, sure the preacher would keep silent.  “I kin tell yer feelin a
might poorly over the fact that Miz Christy didn’t answer ya right away.  But,
Preacher, ya ain’t got nothin to worry about!”

“Is that a fact, Creed?” asked David in the most serious tone he could muster.

“Yes sir!”  Creed replied with all the certainty he had in him.  “Now iffin you
remember, Miz Christy sure was in a state when Miz Sissel came a visitin.  Why, I ain’t
never seen the green-eyed monster so big-like in Miz Christy afore.  That’s gotta mean
that she loves ya.  Me?  I was so sure of it that I snuck ol’ Scalawag into Miz
Sissel’s bath to skeer her off from the Cove.”

“Creed!” David cried in dismay.

Unwilling to be derailed from his track, Creed held up a hand and continued.  “Now we
kin sit here and argue ‘bout Miz Sissel or we can figure on what ta do ‘bout Miz
Christy.  Now, like I see it, she done went with the Doc t’day to help him on an
emergency or somethin like that.  You know they be friends.  Maybe she wanted ta find
ya a nice, shiny arrowhead ta bring ya after school and he was helpin her.

“I can see yer ailin from a pinin after her.  It’s plain ta anyone got eyes that you
love Miz Christy.  But don’t fret yerself none.  She’ll come back.  Wait and see.  And
iffin I was you, I’d have my hair brushed proper and maybe some flowers to give her.
You know how she likes ‘em and all.

“Yep,” said Creed as he stood to leave.  “You’ll see, Preacher.  I be right about this.
And like ya always say, you gotta have faith!”

David watched the young sage walk away.  “Creed!”  David waited until the boy had
turned around.  “How is it that you know so much about love?”

“Shoot, Preacher,” Creed merely shrugged.  “When ya got a aunt an’ uncle like Fairlight
and Jeb, you cain’t help but notice some things.  Now don’t ya go tellin’ no one we had
this here talk.  I don’t want no yucky girls thinkin I’m a wantin to court ‘em.”  Creed
turned and ran down the hill as David shook his head with mirth.

“I’ll never understand that young man,” thought David to himself as he rose.  “But he’s
right.  I need to have faith.  And,” he decided as he looked at his wrinkled clothes,
“I need to clean up before Christy comes back.”  David turned to stare at the horizon.
“Please Christy,” he whispered.  “Come back.”

** ** **

Neil remained on the ground watching the empty path long after Christy disappeared.
Why was this happening to him?  Why, after all these years had Margaret come back to
destroy his life once more?  What had he done to deserve this pain?  Neil lowered his
head and beat his fists against the ground.  “Why?” he muttered to no one as loneliness
threatened to smother him like a heavy woolen blanket.

A rustling in the brush brought him out of his contemplation and he looked behind him
to see Margaret coming up the path from his cabin.  “Oh, Neil!  Here you are,” Margaret
tried to sound casual as she caught her breath.  “I was hoping to find you along my
walk.  I was thinking…”  She stopped when she got close enough to see his face.
Compassion for him she hadn’t felt in a long while stirred within her and her heart
went out to him.  “Mac?”  She held out her hand.  “What’s wrong?  Can I help you?”

Neil wiped his face on his shirtsleeve and stood without taking her hand.  Looking at
the woman in front of him he fought the anger that churned in the pit of his stomach.
“Why are you still here?” he asked in a dangerously low voice.

Margaret’s concern for Neil was replaced by fear and immediately she went on the
attack.  “I’m still here because this is my home.  And just in case you’ve forgotten,
you are still my husband.”

“You walked out on me, Margaret.  I believed you dead!  How dare you come back now and
expect me to pick up where we left off?”

“Mac, we’ve been through all of this!  You know why I left.  And you know why I came
back.”  Margaret stared deeply into the eyes of the man in front of her.  “But this
isn’t even about me…is it?” she whispered in revelation.  “You’re mad at me because of
her…aren’t you?”

Neil swallowed the bile rising in his throat and stepped around his wife.  “You don’t
know what you’re talking about,” he snapped miserably.

“Don’t I?”  Margaret caught up with Neil and turned him to face her.  “Do you think I’m
a fool, Neil?  Don’t you think I notice the way you look at her?  I know you went after
her, Mac!  I know you left my arms to stop her from accepting the preacher’s proposal!”
Margaret’s voice was rising in pitch with every exclamation.  “But it didn’t work, did
it?  She told me she was going to marry him.  I tried to make you see that she was
going to marry him.”

Neil struggled against her grasp, her words cutting him deeply.  But she held onto him
with a grip of iron.  “Don’t you see, Mac?  You are mine and I am yours!  Christy has
her own life with the preacher.  You need to forget about her and move on!  These silly
feelings you have for her will only bring you more pain!”  Margaret reached up to touch
Neil’s cheek.  Her eyes pooled with tears and her voice choked with emotion as she
spoke again.  “I’m begging you, Neil.  We loved one another once.  We made promises to
each other.  Vows.  I know I haven’t honored those commitments to you in a long time,
but you can’t deny that they still bond us together.  Please, Mac.  I want to come home
and make things right.  Let me come home?”

Neil studied Margaret’s face with resignation.  He didn’t have the energy to fight her.
With one last look up the path toward the love he knew he could not have, he nodded
silently.  “Thank you,” was all she whispered as they turned together to fetch Charlie.

** ** **

When she was sure she had marched out of Neil’s sight with control, Christy ran for the
Mission.  Tears of confusion, embarrassment and loss mingled in twisting rivulets down
her cheeks.  She ran harder and faster, matching each tear with another step to take
her farther away from Neil McNeill.  Seeking redemption she ran until her lungs nearly
gave out and she had to stop for breath.

What a mess she had made of things!  First with David and then with Neil.  She wiped
haphazardly at the tears beginning to dry on her cheeks.  What had she been thinking
when she told Neil the truth?  Never had she expected that he would return her
feelings.  She had hoped, perhaps.  But never expected.  And yet, what good were silly
girlish hopes?  She had nearly kissed a married man!  What if she had?  Could she have
lived with the guilt?  How could she have faced David again?  Could she have even
stayed in the Cove?  Luckily, good sense had intervened.  She needed to put Neil out of
her mind and heart.  Now she had to focus on her life with David.  After all, she did
love David.  She had just been too distracted by her feelings for Neil to give David a
real chance.

As Christy’s heart beat wildly in her chest she closed her eyes to concentrate on the
task of breathing.  “Dear Lord,” she found herself praying.  “I’ve always looked to You
for direction in my life.  You led me to this Cove.  You brought me to these children.
Lord, I thought I knew which direction You wanted my heart to go, but now I see that I
was trying to make the decision for You.  Please, help me to put my faith in You once
again.  You have given me a wonderful man in David.  Help him to forgive me for my
heedless actions today.  Help me to be a good wife to him.  Help us to serve You
together for the good of Your people.  Amen.”

A peace Christy hadn’t felt all day passed through her.  How good it felt to place her
burdens and her trust in the Lord!  She took a deep easy breath and exhaled as she
looked up into the trees above her.  “Oh!” she exclaimed, noting how low the sun was
getting in the sky.  She needed to get back to the Mission.  She had to talk to David
right away.  She knew she wouldn’t make it back by the time school was out, but she had
to try to catch him before dinner.

As she walked on she looked at the ring on her left hand.  It was a beautiful little
diamond.  David must have worked so hard and saved so much to be able to afford it.  He
really was a good man.  Completely absorbed in her own thoughts, Christy rounded a
corner in the path only to run headlong into Creed Allen!  “Why, Creed Allen!” she
exclaimed once she had recovered her balance.  “Where in the world are you off to so
quickly?”

“Actually, Teacher,” laughed Creed, “I was lookin fer you!”

“Really!” Christy exclaimed.  “And why is that?”

“Well, ma’am,” Creed got down to serious business.  “It’s about today.  Ya see, after
ya done left this afternoon with the Doc, I got ta thinkin’.”

Christy groaned internally.  What had she done?  What did her students think of her and
her behavior?  “Yes, Creed?” she asked weakly.

“It’s like this.  I know ya love the Preacher, see.”

“And how do you know that, Creed?”

“Shoot, Teacher, it be obvious.  You and Preacher are ‘zactly alike.  Yer both trying
to help us an’ save our souls an’ such.  Yer both believers.  I see how ya smile at
each other.  And accordin’ to Ruby Mae, any gal would like to git a ring from a fella’
like you got from Preacher.”

“Well, Creed,” Christy was cut off as Creed continued.

“I had me a talk with the Preacher and I know he feels the same way about you!”
Christy grinned at the boy’s enthusiasm.  “An’ I happen to know that he be awful
anxious to see ya.”  Now Christy’s face fell.  Would David be upset with her?  “Now,
don’t ya fret none, ma’am,” Creed consoled her.  “He was a smilin when we talked about
ya.”

Christy grinned once more and tousled Creed’s hair.  “Creed Allen, you must be one of
the sweetest boys on the Earth.  Thank you for this little pep talk, but I’d best be on
my way.  It seems I need to meet with a Preacher!”  Creed grinned and puffed up his
chest in pride.  He’d done a good deed for a man he really liked…a man who loved his
teacher very much.

Creed turned to head home but all of a sudden his eyes got big as he remembered the
finishing touch.  “Miz Christy,” he cried as he sprinted back up the path to her.  “I
almost fergot,” he said as he fished a shiny perfectly formed arrowhead from his
pocket.  “I need ya to give this to the Preacher.  But don’t tell him it’s from me!” 

“Why ever not, Creed?” asked Christy suspiciously.

“Well,” Creed crossed his fingers behind his back.  “Ya see we got this here game we
play.  It’s a secret and I cain’t be tellin’ none of the rules.  But ya just gotta tell
him you found it for him!”  Christy narrowed her gaze at the mischievous boy in front
of her.

“I can’t lie to him, Creed,” said Christy with a firm nod of her head.

“But it ain’t a lie, Teacher,” Creed implored.  “It only be part of the game!  Please,
Teacher?”

Creed looked so pitifully hopeful that Christy promised she would deliver the trinket
as her own and started once more for the Mission.  Once she was out of sight, Creed
uncrossed his fingers.  “Sure hope the Almighty will fergive me this once!” he said
impishly and grinned as he skipped down the path for home.


Chapter 5

Alice Henderson was taking clothes off the line when David rounded the mission in
search of the small washbasin.  “Hello, Alice,” he greeted her loudly, prompting the
need to dodge a flying clothespin.

“Goodness me!” exclaimed Alice, her hand over her heart.  “Forgive me, David, but thy
voice startled me.”

“You seem to have just come back from a million miles away.  Are you alright?”

Alice continued to fold the sheet she had just taken off the line.  “Actually, David, I
was rather deep in my own thoughts.  You see,” she began as she dropped the sheet into
the basket, “Daniel has decided to return home for a visit.  With his cabin gone he is
quite saddened.  I suggested that some time with his mother and with Cecile might do
him good.  A retreat of sorts.”  Alice reached for the last pillowcase on the line.

“And he agreed?” asked David, taking the clothespins from her outstretched hand.

“Immediately, in fact.  Furthermore, he has asked me to accompany him on his journey to
Freedom.  Despite everything that has happened here, I believe he will want to return.
After all, we have the promise of the men of the Cove to help him rebuild should he
continue his medical residency with Dr. McNeill.  I feel he has asked me along to help
convince Cecile to come back with him.”

“Alice, that’s wonderful news!”

“Indeed it is,” agreed Alice enthusiastically.  “However, I feel a bit distracted as he
would like to leave on the first train out of El Pano tomorrow morning.  I have so much
to do before I can go.”

“Well, I’m sure Ruby Mae can help you with whatever you need,” David tried to be
helpful.

“It is that very thing which has me worried.”  Alice grinned at the thought of the
precocious red head.  “Well, I’d better get supper started if we are to eat before
breakfast tomorrow.”  Alice picked up the laundry basket and started back inside.  “Oh,
David,” called Alice as he started off toward the pump with the washbasin.  “Has thee
seen Christy this afternoon?”

“Actually, Alice, I’m expecting her to arrive here soon.  We have an appointment of
sorts.”  David grinned and disappeared.

“Please tell her I would like to speak with her…” Alice trailed off to speak only to
herself as she realized David was no longer listening.  “I need to tell her of my
plans.”  With a small laugh in wonder at David’s strange behavior, she went inside to
begin dinner.

** ** **

The afternoon had given way to early evening when Christy finally made it back to
Mission property.  She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she nearly passed the
schoolhouse altogether in her haste to get to the Mission.  But a flicker of motion out
of the corner of her eye grabbed her attention.  The front doors were standing wide
open!  Christy turned back and cautiously ascended the front steps.  Who could be here?
David surely wouldn’t have left the building without locking up!

Stepping cautiously through the open doors, Christy stopped short in awe.  The main
aisle was covered in a carpet of brilliantly colored fall leaves.  And her desk, or
what she could see of it, was overflowing with late wildflowers.  Giggling, Christy
made her way quickly forward to gather some of the fragrant blooms up to her nose.  She
spun around expecting to see David, but no one was there.  “How odd,” she mused to
herself as she sifted through the treasures on her desk.  “Aha,” she thought
triumphantly when the note tucked among the offerings was discovered.  She opened it
and began to read aloud.

“My dearest Christy,
I’d lay the world at your feet and hand to you all of its possessions.  I hope this
will do for now.  Hurry behind the Mission for your next surprise.
Yours,
David.”

“So, Mr. Grantland,” laughed Christy as she gathered up all the flowers she could hold.
“What an intriguing invitation.  I wonder what you have in store for me next!”  Never
one to pass up a good mystery, she quickly closed and locked the doors and headed to
the back of the house.

The waning sunlight cast a golden glow over the land.  A gentle breeze accompanied
Christy as she set out to look for her next clue.  There was no one in the barn.  She
couldn’t seem to find anything in the chicken coop or near the clothesline.  Christy
was perplexed.  She reread the note in her hand.  “Hmm,” she mused.  “I guess I must
have missed something along the way.  I wonder what I was supposed to find?”  

She reached up to brush a piece of hair out of her eyes and realized that most of it
had come lose from her pins.  “I must look a fright,” she thought as she walked with
purpose toward the back entrance to the Mission.  “Perhaps I’ll just freshen up a bit
before I continue on this hunt.”  Christy trailed off as she was about to pass the deep
bathtub near the back steps.  It was filled with steaming water!  And there, next to
the tub, were her toiletries, her robe and another note!  “What in the world?”  Shaking
her head in amusement, Christy reached for the second message.

“My dearest Christy,
The finest marble and gold should adorn your bubble bath.  But rosewater in a metal tub
might feel just as heavenly on an evening such as this.
Yours,
David.
p.s. Ruby Mae collected your personal belongings on my behalf.”

Not needing a second invitation, Christy deposited the flowers on the ground, closed
the curtains around her and proceeded to take a luxurious bath.  After washing her hair
and soaking indulgently for just a little while, she made her way up the stairs to her
room.  She dressed quickly and sat at her dressing table to work on her hair.  As she
brushed through the tangles, she realized that she didn’t know where to go next.  There
had been no further directions in the note by her bath.

Just then, a third note appeared under her door.  Christy jumped from her chair and
threw open the door.  No one!  Evidently her delivery person was speedy as well as
quiet.  She closed the door once more and laughed as she picked up the note.  “How I am
enjoying this little game,” she thought.  “Oh! That remind me,” she said aloud as she
dug through the pockets of the dress she had worn earlier.  She pulled out the
arrowhead Creed had given her and squeezed it in her palm.  “It seems I am destined to
play games all night long!”  

She sat on her bed to open the envelope in her hand.

“Dearest Christy,
You are always taking care of others.  If I know you, and I think that I do, you
haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.  I would guess you probably gave your lunch to
one of the children.  Dinner waits for you.  Step out on the balcony.
Yours,
David.”

Christy hastily finished pulling the front of her hair up.  She replaced her brush and
gave herself one last check in the mirror.  Quietly she opened her balcony doors and
stepped out into the fragrant night.  From her vantage point she could see mountain
after mountain, one folding in behind the other until the darkness enveloped them.  The
moon shone brilliantly above her.  How it brought her comfort.  As she stared at it she
was reminded of another night on the river when she had sought the comfort it gave.
That was the night she had run into Neil.  Never would she have guessed as she consoled
him about his wife that Margaret would return again to turn their worlds upside down.
Her face fell as she thought once again of the turn of events earlier in the day.

Christy shook her head to erase the memory.  There was no room in her head for Doctor
McNeill anymore.  She looked back to the face of the moon before following the
spotlight it cast below.  And as she traced its glow downward she saw David in the
gazebo.  He was smiling up at her.

** ** **

The dance of the flames was mirrored in Neil’s eyes as he stared blankly into the
fireplace.  “Ironic,” he thought.  His mind drifted back a few hours.  “She spoke to me
of our dance and now my heart burns just like this flame.”  He shifted his eyes ever so
slightly to glance at Margaret who was bustling around the kitchen.  It had been a
tense and extremely quiet walk home.  He hadn’t spoken to her and she seemed to sense
that he didn’t want to be disturbed.

He closed his eyes.  Now he willed himself to be anywhere but here.  How many night
calls had he made last year alone?  Surely one would save him from this so-called
domestic bliss.  “Stupid, selfish man,” he silently cursed himself.  “Wishing another
to be ill or hurt just for an excuse to leave.”

“Neil?”  Margaret’s voice interrupted his thoughts.  “I’ve made us some dinner.  Would
you like to sit and eat with me?”  Her voice was timid but full of hope.

“Hope?” thought Neil.  “Hope for what?  My hopes are gone.  I cannot be responsible for
the hopes of another.  Not tonight.”  Aloud he said, “I’m not hungry.  But thank you
just the same.”

“Mac,” she tried to reason.  “You need to eat to keep up your strength.  I remember how
often you get called away at night.  If you don’t eat something you won’t be any good
to these people.”

Neil stared open-mouthed at Margaret.  It was if she had read his thoughts. “I’d
forgotten,” he muttered to her as if in a trance.

“You’d forgotten what, Mac?”

“How you always seemed to know what I was thinking without me ever saying a word.”

Taking this as a good sign Margaret stepped to the table and sat down.  “Maybe,” she
tried to humor him, “you’ve forgotten that I’m a horrible cook, too.  It isn’t much.
Just some sandwiches from side meat and some sliced apples.  But it’s been so long
since I’ve been in this kitchen.  I’m not sure where to find everything.”

“It’s just that I live so much on the road,” Neil found himself apologizing.  “The
families usually pay me with food.  I rarely cook for myself anymore.”  They fell into
a strained silence.

“Mac,” Margaret tried again.  “Please come eat something.”

Neil rose, walked to the table and sat across from Margaret.  She began to pass him a
tray when he stopped her with a gesture.  Something seemed wrong somehow.  What was
missing?  Prayer, Neil realized.  Christy always insisted on praying before they ate
together.  Neil was surprised with himself.  What had made him think of that?  Neil
looked around uncomfortably.  He had the strangest feeling.  It was as if his mother
was looking over his shoulder to scold him for eating before saying grace.

“Mac, what is it?” asked Margaret.

Neil tried in vain to shrug the ghosts away.  “Nothing.  Go ahead.”

Margaret passed him the tray in her hands and stared at him.  He was so detached from
her.  Would she ever get through to him?  Could she make him love her again?  They had
been so close once.  But of course, she had destroyed it all in one hurtful night.  How
could she go back?

They ate the remainder of their meal in silence, each lost in memories.

Chapter 6 

David watched Christy approach.  She seemed to float across the yard.  How beautiful
she was!  He felt the breath catch in his chest as the vice of love squeezed his heart.
He’d waited for this moment for so long.  After all, he had loved her since she’d
fallen into his arms her first night at the mission.  She was so strong, so pure and so
beautiful.  It was obvious to him from the first time he looked into her eyes that God
had sent her to Cutter Gap for him.  Oh how he wanted her to be his.

Christy stepped shyly into the gazebo, her hands laced behind her.  “Good evening,
David,” she smiled up at him.  As he was met with the fragrance of rosewater he had to
muster every ounce of strength he had to keep from pulling her into his arms.  “You
look very handsome this evening,” she said, noting the care he had taken to put on a
suit and comb his hair neatly.  She looked around at the table spread before them.
“Chicken, potatoes, greens, cornbread, pie.  Why, David, you’ve thought of everything.”
She looked back up to him.  “Thank you.”

“It was nothing.  Truth be told, Alice cooked tonight.”  He paused awkwardly.  She was
breathtaking!  “At least we avoided an evening of Ruby Mae’s opossum surprise!”  Such
silly small talk.  He felt like a tongue-tied teenager.  He desperately wanted to know
her answer but he held himself in check.  “Did you enjoy your little treasure hunt
today?” he asked with a large smile on his face.

“David, I don’t know how you managed to pull it all off.  I was only gone a few hours…”
She trailed off and her smile faltered as she thought about what she had been doing in
those few hours.

Sensing her discomfort, David tried to put her at ease.  “Actually, Ruby Mae was only
too eager to help me.  In fact, it was all I could do to keep her from chaperoning us
at dinner this evening!”  Christy’s bright smile returned.  David wiped his hands on
his trousers.  He was so nervous!  “Christy,” he began as she spoke at the same time.
“You first,” he allowed.

“David, I can’t believe you went to so much trouble for me.  Especially after I left
this afternoon.”  David stood up a little straighter in nervous anticipation.  “We need
to talk,” she said quietly.  “And I’d like to tell you everything before we sit down to
dinner.”

David nodded.  Why did she sound so serious?  Was she trying to let him down easily?
Was she going to return his ring?  Surely not.  Not after all he had done for her.  She
was here with him after all.  But she had been away with the doctor most of the
afternoon.  David’s thoughts whirled in circles.

Christy tilted her head to one side.  “Can we take a walk around the pond?”  She
extended her hands to him and he eagerly accepted them into his own.  It was then he
saw his ring on her finger.

“Christy?” he asked in elation as he looked into her eyes.

“David, please don’t say another word.”  The strange look in her eyes gave him pause.
What could be bothering her?  “By wearing your ring I have given you my answer.  But,”
she emphasized, “I need to tell you some things before you give me yours.”

“My answer?” David asked.  He was thoroughly confused.  “I don’t understand.”

“You will,” she said.

They stepped out of the gazebo and began their journey.  They walked slowly.  David
began to worry.  Why wasn’t she saying anything?  What could be so bad she didn’t want
to tell him?  “Christy?” he asked after a near eternity of silence.  

Christy did not answer right away, but looked up into the face of the moon again.  She
recalled another evening spent with David under such a moon.  They had nearly shared
their first kiss that night.  David had spoken of passion in the moonlight and she’d
been swayed by his words.  But she had avoided his bold advance.  And as he left her to
stand on the schoolhouse steps, she recalled feeling a strange mix of loneliness,
longing and hope.

Now, here they were.  It seemed like a lifetime had passed.  They were under yet
another full moon.  She wore his engagement ring.  And still she felt loneliness,
longing and hope.  The hope she understood.  But why did the loneliness and longing
remain?

Christy took a deep breath and looked up into David’s eyes.  “I need to tell you the
truth about what happened today.”  She felt David stiffen at her words and gave his
hand a little squeeze of reassurance.  She couldn’t bear to hurt David but she owed him
an explanation.  She turned and they walked on.  “Fairlight and I had a long talk early
this afternoon.  She asked me some questions about my heart that confused me deeply.  I
was trying to work out my feelings for you…and for Dr. McNeill.”

David inhaled sharply.  McNeill?  What could the doctor have to do with this?

Hearing David suck in a breath, Christy expected him to say something.  A myriad of
expressions played across his face but he held his tongue.  Seizing the opportunity she
continued.  “I expected to find the definitive answer to my heart but all I found was a
paradox.  I was in love with two men.”

David’s mind reeled.  “I knew it,” he thought to himself.  “I told McNeill that she
felt more for him than pity!”  But the victory of being right was tainted by the sorrow
of not being the sole object of her affections.  He sighed aloud as a slow ache began
to form behind his temples.

Christy squeezed his hand again.  “I returned from my talk with Fairlight knowing that
I needed to talk with both of you.  And since you were teaching the children I took
Prince and headed for Dr. McNeill’s.  When I got there I found him in Margaret’s arms.”
She took a quick silent breath to steady her voice.  She couldn’t let David know that
she was still shaken over the scene.  “My head knew they were meant to be like that.
But my heart wasn’t quite ready to accept it.

“I left before they saw me.  I ran away.”  David looked crestfallen.  She rushed on.
“But I ran away from them only to find I was running to you.  You were the first one I
saw when I returned.  You held me and comforted me.  You gave me your ring.  In that
instant I felt I should be with you.”

David’s brow furrowed in confusion.  Christy sensed the battle he was waging.  “Why
didn’t I say yes right away?” she asked for him.  David nodded.  “Neil,” she stated
simply.  “His appearance startled me but, David, I asked you to take the children
inside so I could tell him to go back to Margaret.”

“But you left with him,” David whispered.

“I know,” she said with sadness in her voice.  “I am so sorry if I hurt you.”  They
were half way around the pond now.  She needed to hurry.  “When you went inside, Neil
asked me to talk with him away from the Mission.  I can’t tell you why I went.  I
realize now that my actions were questionable.  I don’t believe that I was thinking
clearly.  But we were only just over the ridge when I asked him to stop.  I knew I had
to get back to you.”

“But you were away so long,” David said.  “What kept you?”

“I tried to avoid talking with him by being cruel.  But it didn’t work.  Well, not the
cruelty.  That part worked.”  David tried not to smile.  “But I couldn’t walk away and
leave things unresolved.  I needed to tell him the truth, just as I need to tell you.”

Christy fell again into silence as she remembered her talk with Neil.  She knew she
needed to share her side of the conversation with David.  But she decided to keep
Neil’s revelation tucked away in her secret heart.

At her silence, David’s heart tripped and fell with a thud in his chest.  Had Christy
told Neil she loved him?  He rubbed a temple with his free hand.

Christy took a deep breath.  “We talked about our friendship.  We talked about how our
relationship had evolved.  And, yes,” she read the expression of worry on his face, “I
did tell him that I loved him.  But,” she hurried on as David tensed, “I told him that
his place was with Margaret and mine was with you.”

David stopped walking and turned to look down at her.  “What did you say?”

Christy smiled up at him.  “I said that my place is with you.  I know that I’ve been
confusing, David.  I guess that’s because I’ve been so confused.  I won’t lie to you
and tell you that I understand my heart clearly.  But I can promise you that if you
give me a chance I will concentrate on you…on us.”  She looked earnestly up at him.  

David couldn’t think.  His head hurt too badly.  He stared deeply into Christy’s eyes.
He loved her.  He wanted her.  He needed her.  But she loved Neil McNeill.  She had
told him so.  More importantly, she had told McNeill so.  And yet she was wearing his
ring.  She did love him, after all.  But she hadn’t said she loved him…not directly.
It didn’t make sense.

“Please, David,” Christy whispered.  “Say something.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted.  David wrestled with his feelings.  Christy
was here in front of him, his for the asking.  It was what he’d wanted, what he’d
prayed for.  And yet, “I don’t want to be your second choice, Christy,” he said softly,
surprising both of them.

“But, David,” Christy began.

“I don’t want you to marry me because you can’t have him.  I don’t want you to wake up
one day and realize you made the biggest mistake of your life.”  His voice broke in
tandem with his heart.  His face reflected his inner pain as he dropped her hands.  “I
can’t be anything but the world to you, as you are to me, Christy.  I won’t settle for
less.”

He stepped away from her then, causing her to shed silent tears.  “I need time to think
about what you’ve told me,” he said.  “And you need time to be sure you’ve made the
right decision.”  He watched her face fall.  They stood there for what seemed a
lifetime, not moving, barely breathing.  And then she reached into her pocket and
pulled something out.

“Here,” she said softly as she pressed the object into his hand.  “This is for you.”
She looked up at him one more time.  “I’m so sorry that I hurt you, David.”  With a
small sob she turned to walk away.

Loneliness like none other he’d ever experienced before in his life settled around him.
He couldn’t move or think.  He was empty, standing frozen like a statue as she slowly
walked away from him.  And when the inky blackness had swallowed her form he looked
down to see a perfectly shaped arrowhead in his palm.

** ** **

The silence of the meal was little compared to the deafening roar of nothingness that
passed between Neil and Margaret as she cleaned the kitchen and he resumed staring into
the fire.  “Why did I even come back?” Margaret thought to herself.  “I was a fool to
think it would be any different this time.  He didn’t talk to me then.  Why would he
talk to me now?”  Margaret scrubbed the table with her dishrag until she’d nearly
rubbed the wood grain away.  How frustrating that man could be to her sometimes!  But
she loved him.

“…worth fighting for…” came Christy’s words into Margaret’s head once more.  It
bothered her to no end that Christy had been right.  That could only mean that she had
spent a lot of time with him.  Jealousy welled up inside her.  Well, Margaret might not
be as pure, as innocent or as optimistic as little miss Pollyanna.  But, she had fight
left in her.  And she wasn’t afraid to use it.  She would win Neil back.

“I’m going out,” came Neil’s voice to startle Margaret out of her thoughts.

“Where are you going, Mac?”

“To sit by the river, alone,” he muttered resolutely as he headed for the door.

“But I thought tonight we would talk…about us.”

“Well you thought wrong.”  Neil was out the door in a flash.

Margaret’s blood boiled instantly.  “How dare he treat me like this?” she fumed.  She
picked up the nearest breakable item she could reach and hauled it at the door in fury.
The crash it made as it hit the wood and splintered into a million tiny fragments was
like a healing balm to a nasty wound.  Margaret straightened her shoulders and lifted
her chin high.

“You may think you can ignore me forever but I won’t let you,” she spat with feminine
pride at the door.  Margaret felt the phantom tickle rumble in her chest as she tried
to be strong.  “No!” she thought as she wrung her hands nervously.  She desperately
wanted a cigarette.  But she’d given them up as part of her last treatment program.
She let out a bitter laugh, punctuated by a small cough.  She swallowed quickly and
took a deep breath in denial.  “I’m fine,” she reassured herself.  “I’m fine.”

She refocused her energies on the door.  “I left here because you wouldn’t pay any
attention to me.  And after all the attention I got from other men over the years, I
found that all I want, all I ever wanted, was yours.”  Margaret harnessed her anger and
channeled it as she picked up the broom.  “Well this time I intend to get it.  You will
not ignore me tonight!”  She began to sweep furiously.  “Oh, no, Mac,” she said with
determination.  “I most definitely will not let you ignore me tonight!”

** ** **

Neil slammed the front door behind him.  Without even thinking he opened the cabinet to
his right and retrieved a jug of moonshine given to him as payment for one service or
another.  He stumbled away from the cabin down the path.  He needed the peace of the
river.  He craved the comfort of the moonlight.  But more than anything, he longed for
the warmth of Christy’s arms.  Why did he keep thinking about her?  He could hear her
laugh in the rushing water.  He could feel her touch in the gentle breeze.  And he
could see her, in his mind, as she looked disapprovingly at the liquor in his hands.

He uncorked the jug and took a large swig before the sense of her could turn into a
full-fledged haunting.  He was hurting, plain and simple.  And he didn’t want to hurt
anymore.  If he had been a boy he would have sought comfort in his mother’s arms.  But
he was a man.  And she was long gone.  So he turned to the liquor instead.  He reached
the water’s edge, sat on a thick piece of driftwood and lifted the jug to his lips
again.

Questions with no answers rolled through his mind.  He drank until they disappeared.
Waves of nausea gripped his stomach as the ache of his heart threatened to overwhelm
him.  He drank until the tide had ebbed.  The alcohol-induced heat in his belly spread
to his toes as the dizziness began to creep into his brain.  He drank until both body
and mind were numb.  He didn’t want to think.  He didn’t want to feel.  And he didn’t
want to hurt.  Above all he didn’t want to hurt anymore.


Chapter 7

Margaret grabbed her bag and ran up the stairs to the bedroom.  "Hmm, hasn't
changed much," she thought as she stepped through the open door.  "It could
use a woman's touch again, though."  She smiled wryly and closed the door
behind her.  She had to work quickly if she was to be ready when Neil
returned. 

She turned down the bed and fluffed up the meager pillows.  How she wished
they could have afforded a down comforter and bolsters when they had
married.  She slid a stray medical journal under the bed along with a pair
of dirty socks.  "He's still messy as ever," she grinned as she remembered.
She threw open a window to air out the room and then emptied pipe ash from a
small bowl onto the ground below.  She gave their dresser a quick dusting
and straightened a crooked picture on the wall.

When she was certain the room was relatively tidy she turned her attention
to her appearance.  She needed to freshen up a bit.  She grabbed the pitcher
from the washstand and ran downstairs to fill it with water.  She silently
berated herself as she realized she hadn't started any water to warm.  A
cold sponge bath was definitely not appealing.  But it was necessary.  She
poured the remaining unused water for the supper dishes into the pitcher and
carried it back upstairs.

After dumping the water into the basin, Margaret sat on the edge of the bed
to twist up her hair.  A wave of nostalgia overtook her as she recalled her
first night here with Neil.  She had sat in this very spot, taking in her
new surroundings as she pulled her hair up in preparation for bed.  "No,
leave it down," Neil's voice had interrupted her.  He was standing in the
doorway, gazing down at his young bride.  "I like the way it swirls around
me when we embrace."  His eyes had smoked over with passion as he came to
her.

Margaret sighed at the memory.  Neil had loved her once.  He could love her
again.  She might not have much working in her favor.  But she had felt his
resolve weaken when she held him by the river earlier.  She stood to look at
herself in the mirror.  Such a small mirror it was.  She would have to get a
bigger one soon.  But even in the small glass she could see that she was
beautiful.  Her hair still had its shine and she had been blessed with
mysterious brown eyes and good coloring.  All in all, she knew she still had
power over her husband through physical attraction.  And she intended to
make the most out of that power. 

She bent down to retrieve her valise and put in on the bed.  "All I own, in
one bag," she sighed with frustration.  "But at least," she grinned as she
opened it up, "Twyla was kind enough to let me keep this."  Margaret
extracted a red nightgown from among her few belongings.  It was cut high to
reveal her slender legs.  And the thin straps barely held up the plunging
neckline.  It was made of silk and felt sinful to the touch.  Twyla claimed
a Frenchman she'd met up in a teahouse in New York had given it to her to
repay her for a 'kindness.'  Margaret had never seen anything like it and
Twyla told her to keep it.  She laughed as she said she could get another
one once she got back to New York!

Margaret laid it on the bed along with a bottle of heavy perfume she'd
purchased in Atlanta and nodded her head in satisfaction.  She turned back
to the washstand to ready herself.  "Mac won't be able to resist me!" she
smiled in delight.  She barely noticed the cool water as her skin warmed in
anticipation.  "He may not know it yet," she thought.  "But this is exactly
what the doctor ordered!"

** ** **

Neil dropped the empty jug onto the ground and struggled to stand.  He was a
fool to think he could drink his pain away.  Not only was he still in agony,
he was sure to have a pounding headache the next morning.  Looking up at the
moon above he cursed himself.  "I am worthless," he muttered in disgust.
"She was right to leave me.  They both were.  Margaret because I wasn't here
for her and Christy because I can never be."  The moon remained steadfast
and silent.  "I don't deserve to be loved by anyone.  Not Margaret.  Not
Christy.  Not God."

Neil spun about at his last thought and felt an overwhelming sense of
dizziness.  God?  That was twice in one night.  What did God have to do with
Neil McNeill, M.D.?  "Nothing," said Neil aloud as he blocked the thought
from his mind, planted his feet and closed his eyes.  "Nothing..."

The memory of Nathan Stone's party came flooding back to him.  "Neil, what
is wrong with you?" Christy had asked him that day.  He'd been too drunk to
notice the concern in her face.  He'd only been thinking of himself.

"Nothing a dance can't fix," he'd said to her in angry reply.  Having heard
from Margaret he turned to the drink and then turned his anger on Christy.
He hadn't stopped to think of her feelings.  He'd only wanted to dance with
her to forget.  But they'd never had that dance.  His drunken ranting
stopped the music and shortly thereafter Grantland had knocked him out cold.
"Strange," Neil muttered.  "I can still hear it."

Neil came back to the present.  He still felt dizzy and he could swear he
heard music.  The shine must be working its crazy magic.  His mind was
playing tricks on him.  But as he opened his eyes he realized that the music
was real.  And it was coming from his cabin.  Unsteadily, but with purpose,
Neil made his way back up the path to investigate.

** ** **

Christy walked slowly to the Mission house.  The silent tears of moments
before continued to fall.  The day had been so exhausting, both physically
and emotionally.  She couldn't remember a time she had cried more.  Why did
she always hurt those she loved?  The memory of the pain on Neil and David's
faces was overwhelming.  She wanted nothing more than to crawl under her
covers and wish the day away.  But as she climbed the porch steps she could
see Miss Alice and Ruby Mae finishing up their chores.  

Christy stopped.  She just couldn't face either of them right now.  She
didn't have the energy to explain.  Quietly, she made her way back down the
steps and set her course for the church.  The strength she didn't have to
face her friends she knew she would find from God.  She needed to pray about
the day's events.

Christy entered the church and lit a solitary lantern.  Carrying it up the
aisle she ruefully looked around her at the leaves and flowers.  They had
been such precious gifts to her a few hours earlier.  Now, they were symbols
of the pain she had caused David.  Christy stopped at the front desk and
sat.  After situating the lantern she folded her hands, rested her elbows on
the desk and bowed her head.

She sat in complete silence and stillness for a few moments in an effort to
organize her scattered thoughts.  Then she took a deep breath and poured out
her heart.  "Dear Lord," she began.  "You know what happened today.  I made
the wonderful and horrible discovery that I love two very different men.
First I listened to my heart.  And then I listened to my head.  But I should
have been listening to You.  I tried to do what I thought was best and ended
up hurting both of them.  Lord, I thought I knew what You wanted me to do
but it's so clear that I don't.  Please forgive me for the pain I have
caused to Neil and to David.  Help me to make things right with them.  I
couldn't stand to lose the friendship of either of them."  Christy paused to
wipe away the tears sliding over her nose and her clasped hands.

"Lord, I thought earlier today that You were showing me that I belonged with
David and not Neil.  But then everything went so wrong tonight.  Everything
that seemed so obvious to me was of an imagination of my own making.  I
couldn't have been more blind.  I don't know what to do next.  Only You can
show me the path I should take.  So, I give up.  I give up and I give my
future wholly over to You.  Please lead me to do Your work and to follow
Your will.  And please, help me to be patient.  I know that You have perfect
timing in everything.  Amen."  Christy lapsed again into silence and
stillness.  But this time she was listening.  Her spirit was listening to
the Lord.  And He was giving her comfort and peace.  When she raised her
head she felt a joy and a hope she had been without for a while.

Instantly she rededicated herself to her service in Christ.  Looking around
she decided that she could ready the church for service on Sunday.  It was a
task she normally did on Saturday, but she felt inspired to begin
immediately.  She began by brushing the rest of the flowers from her desk.
Then she grabbed the broom and swept and swept until all of the flowers and
leaves had been cleared from the building.  She pushed the school desks away
from the church benches and pulled out David's pulpit.  Then she took a rag
and wiped down every piece of furniture in sight.  And when she was
completely satisfied with the results of her efforts, Christy gratefully
thanked God, extinguished the lantern and exited the church.

It was dark as pitch, save for the light of the moon.  The autumn night was
getting very cool.  Christy was glad she only had a short distance to walk
since she had no wrap to keep out the chill.  The house was dark when she
entered.  "Everyone is in bed.  I guess I was over there for quite a while,"
she thought as she wearily climbed the steps to her room.  "It's just as
well.  I'll get a good night's sleep and speak with Ms. Alice in the
morning."  She entered her room and closed the door behind her, not even
bothering to light a candle.  A deep yawn erupted from her mouth as she
removed her shoes.  "I can't remember when I've been so tired," she mused as
she crawled into bed without changing into her nightgown.  She pulled the
comforter up to her chin and immediately a deep dreamless sleep sucked her
into its comforting embrace.

** ** **

David squeezed his palm shut around the arrowhead.  What had he done?  Had
he really just sent Christy away?  What was he thinking?  "That's the
problem," he said aloud.  "I can't think.  Not here.  I need to get away."
He pocketed the arrowhead and sprinted to the gazebo.  He packed up as much
of the food as he could and stacked the dishes neatly.  He knew he should
take them into the Mission but he didn't want to face anyone tonight.
Someone would get them tomorrow.

He quickly continued on to his bunkhouse where he grabbed his canteen,
rifle, bedroll and a change of clothes.  He was about to leave again when he
remembered that Christy didn't know about Ms. Alice's trip.  Hastily he
scrawled a message to Christy about his and Alice's whereabouts and left it
on his bed.  Then he made his way to the barn.

David led Prince from his stall and talked soothingly to him as he saddled
him up.  "I know, boy.  It is a little late for one of our jaunts.  But just
this once, okay?"  Prince nickered softly in response as David finished his
task.  Then they quietly made their way out of the barn and past the Mission
house.  He wanted to escape undetected.  

Once he was a safe distance away, David climbed into the saddle and began
his journey.  A retreat.  Miss Alice always said it helped her.  Well help
was exactly what he needed.  Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed the time he
thought he might need.  He had to be back to preach on Sunday.  He only
prayed that 36 hours would be enough time to get the answers he so
desperately sought.

** ** **

Neil tripped up the front steps of his cabin to stare at the phonograph.
That song.  He knew that song.  It was one of Margaret's favorites.  She
used to sing it around the cabin all of the time.  What was she pulling now?
Neil looked up.  And why was the front door wide open?  He made his way
angrily inside to find her.  "She may be back," he thought as he slammed the
door, "but I'll have none of her foolishness."

The slam of the door alerted Margaret to Neil's presence.  "This is it," she
thought as she listened to him ascend the stairs.  She had taken special
care to extinguish all of the lamps in the house.  Now only the moon pouring
through the open window illuminated her frame as she let the occasional
breeze blow her hair around her.  The cool air sent a tickle into her chest
but she attributed it to the excitement she was feeling.  She licked her
lips and tried to steady her breathing as she waited for him to arrive.

Neil's angry face froze as he rounded the corner into his room.  The sight
of Margaret at the window sent a flood of memories to wash over him.  Their
eyes met and he was swept away.  He remembered everything.  The way her eyes
would sparkle when she laughed at his jokes.  The way their hands seemed to
interlock perfectly when they walked through the mountains.  The grand
stories she would make up to entertain him by the fire each night.  The way
her hair tickled his face and shoulders when they would embrace.  Their
first night together in this room...in this bed.  How he had loved her once!


"Mac," Margaret whispered to him and held out a hand.  As if in a trance
Neil walked slowly toward her, his eyes never leaving her own.  When he was
close enough to take her hand he paused.  Margaret felt his hesitation and
knew she needed only to give him one final push.  "We were so good together,
Mac," she cooed.  "Don't you remember?  Let me help you to remember."
Something flickered behind his eyes and he reached out and took her hand
into his.

Margaret smiled in triumph. 


Chapter 8

The wind was fiercer up on the mountaintop than down at the Mission.  And it
was cold!  David had forgotten.  He burrowed deeper into his bedding and
continued to stare in awe at the stars above.  The handiwork of God was
truly magnificent!  As an owl softly called out to the night sky, David was
surrounded by a sense of calm.  "How long has it been since I've been here?"
he wondered.  "I'm just so busy these days I never seem to take any time to
enjoy the beauty of these mountains."

David sighed as he tore his gaze from the heavens.  "God's Fist," he said to
the breeze as he looked around him.  Nearest to him was a wall of trees.
Various shapes, various sizes, all banded together with one purpose - to
reach for the heavens.  Underneath him was the rock of the mountain.
Steadfast, sure.  And beyond the shelf lay an endless abyss of nothingness
stretching into forever.  In the daylight there would be gloriously colored
trees and a clear cool river below with range after range of mountains
beyond.  What history.  What strength.  What majesty.  "Appropriately named
I'd say."  David closed his eyes and turned his voice to God.  "Lord,
earlier today I felt like I was falling without a bottom to hit.  But now,
here, I feel Your strength lifting me back up."  He was silent for a few
moments and then whispered to his Comforter, "Thank you."

David had so much to think about.  But he was exhausted.  He would work
everything out tomorrow.  Sleep crept around him like a thief.  He didn't
mind.  It had been a hard day filled with bad memories he wouldn't mind
having stolen from him.  He gave himself up to it gladly.  And as he drifted
away his last thoughts were not of Christy or of his proposal or even of
Neil McNeill, but of little Creed Allen and his earnest speech.  He fell
asleep with a smile on his face.

** ** **

When Neil awoke in the early hours of the next morning he couldn't determine
what pulled him from his slumber.  Was it the ungodly pounding in his head
or the harsh raspy noise from his dream?  Neil allowed his eyes to focus and
felt momentarily disoriented.  He hadn't remembered coming to bed last
night.  The last thing he could recollect was drinking down by the river.
He tried to move and found himself tangled up in a light blanket.  "What the
devil?" he thought as he realized he was fully clothed underneath it.  "I
must have been out of my head to crawl in bed without at least removing my
boots."  He began to sit up but the hammering pain forced him back to his
pillow.  How his head hurt!  "Maybe if I just close my eyes and sleep a bit
more," he thought as his lids began to droop.

The noise he thought was from his dreaming sounded again and Neil snapped to
full attention.  What was that?  He sat bolt upright, ignoring the pain, and
noticed Margaret curled into a tiny ball on the other side of the bed.  Her
hair was spread out around her and she was nearly fully uncovered.  What in
the world was she wearing?  Thoughts of finding the source of the strange
noise were abandoned as fleeting memories of last night began to creep into
his brain.  There had been music.  And Margaret had been by the window.  She
had beckoned to him.  He had walked toward her.  And then...he couldn't
remember.  It was obvious from his current state of dress that nothing had
transpired between them.  It was also obvious from his wife's state of
dress, or near undress, that she had anticipated the very opposite.

Neil blushed as he looked again at Margaret's attire.  It wasn't that he was
a prude.  He was married to the woman after all.  And there had been a time
when they had enjoyed each other fully in the physical relationship their
marriage provided.  But never before had he seen her in such a garment.  His
stomach rolled as he realized it must be one of her get-ups from the
teahouse.  "A pity," he murmured.  "She probably wanted nothing more than to
bring me closer to her by wearing this.  And the only thing it does is drive
me farther away."

Margaret hadn't moved since Neil had awakened.  She had always been a sound
sleeper.  "Well," he thought as he pulled the blanket off of himself and
gingerly covered her up, "perhaps I shall just get up and find something for
this headache." As Neil stood and stretched to his fullest a blast of cold
air came through the window.  "What in the blazes?" he exclaimed as he
stepped around the bed to shut the window.  How could Margaret have left it
open all night?  It was freezing in the room!

As Neil shook his head in exasperation, the noise from earlier sounded
again.  A silent curse threatened to escape his lips as he realized it was
coming from Margaret herself.  As she coughed again he marveled that she
managed to sleep through it.  It sounded so painful.  He returned to the
bedside and immediately pulled the heavy blankets upon which he had been
sleeping to cover her.  When his hand brushed her shoulder he shuddered.
She was so cold to the touch.

"Margaret," he gently tried to wake her.  "Margaret, wake up, now."  She
stirred ever so slightly and mumbled about being cold.

"I know you're cold, Margaret.  That's why I need you to wake up."

Margaret's eyes fluttered open then and she tried to focus through the sleep
at her husband.  "Good morning, Neil," she said as she smiled up at him.

"Your skin is like ice," he said with concern.  "Do you feel alright?  Why
did you sleep uncovered all night with the window open?"

"I'm fine, Mac," she assured him.  Truth be told she was freezing, dizzy and
felt absolutely awful.  But she didn't want to let him get away.  "I slept
uncovered all night because you hogged all of the covers, darling," she
teased him.  "And as for that silly old window...I just forgot."  She
stretched then, allowing the covers Neil had placed on her to slip down to
her waist for Neil's benefit.  "Oh, it's still so early," she yawned as she
looked toward the window.  It was barely even light outside.  She looked
back again to him and dropped her voice to a sultry whisper.  "Come back to
bed, Mac.  Maybe we can warm each other up."

Neil stood up quickly.  In bed with her was the last place he wanted to be
at the moment.  "I need to start the fire downstairs," he said in an attempt
to change the subject.  "I'll make some coffee.  Perhaps you could change
and have some with me before I make my rounds."

"But, Mac," Margaret sputtered, hurt by his rebuff of her advance.

"I think we need to talk," he said before he disappeared, leaving her alone.

Margaret felt the anger of last night well up inside again.  She was so
tired of him walking away from her!  She had humbled herself before him.
She had begged him.  She had been kind to him.  She had thrown herself at
him.  What would it take to get through to him?  She sat up in a huff and
threw off the covers.  Locating her undergarments she dressed hurriedly in
the only other clean dress she had left in her valise.  "I don't need to
take this," she said to herself as she attempted to make the bed.  "Lots of
other men would be perfectly happy to have me around."  She tucked the
sheets under the feather mattress and angrily beat the pillows.  "He should
be grateful I even came back," she soothed herself.  "I could have stayed
away forever.  He wouldn't know if I was alive or dead!"

She bent down quickly to pick up her discarded nightie and found herself
dizzy and completely out of breath.  She felt her forehead and realized she
must be running a fever.  Beads of cold perspiration slicked down her back
and a shiver ran through her as she sat on the floor.  She began to shake as
she feared the worst.  She closed her eyes.  "I'm fine.  I'm fine."  She
repeated the mantra over and over in her head.  But as she tried to regain
control of her breathing her chest convulsed and she began to cough.  "No!"
she desperately thought as she tried to muffle the sound with the edge of
the blanket.  "I can't be sick again!  I just can't!"  Margaret's anger
turned to panic as the coughing continued.  

They had told her at the clinic that the remission would only be temporary.
They had warned her that she would soon succumb.  But she hadn't wanted to
listen, hadn't wanted to believe.  The tears she had been holding inside
began to pour forth as she buried her head deeper into the blanket.  "No
matter what, I can't let Neil know that I'm sick again.  He'll never want me
if I'm sick.  And it won't be enough if I only have his pity."  One last
violent cough ended the spell.  She looked quickly up over the bed to see if
Neil had noticed.  She could still hear him clattering around below.
"Thank, God!" she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.  "He'll never
have to know about this.  I'm strong.  I can beat it this time!"  But
Margaret's faith in herself was shaken to the core as she looked down to
straighten the bedcover only to find the corner of it spotted with blood.

Downstairs, Neil mixed some aspirin powder in water for his headache.  He
cursed his foolish behavior.  Not only would he have been unable to help if
an emergency had arisen last night, but the medicine he was giving himself
now could very well be needed for someone else later if supplies ran low.
He needed to pull himself together.

He sat next to the fire and stared deeply into the flames.  What was he to
do about Margaret?  He no longer loved her, of that he was sure.  But he was
legally bound to her until death chose to part them.  Neil's face contorted
as he remembered the sound of her cough.  Could the tuberculosis have
returned?  She seemed so sure in the teahouse that she was in remission.
And yet, so few people actually survived the disease.  Was she aware that
she was fighting a losing battle?  Neil felt an odd pang of sorrow as he
realized that death might not indeed be far from Margaret.  Love her or not
he had to help her.  But how?

He lifted his eyes as she descended the stairs.  She looked flushed, almost
feverish.  Her eyes appeared puffy and were rimmed with dark circles.  He
realized he should have checked her more carefully for symptoms earlier.
But she was smiling.  He raked his hands through his curls.  He was still
suffering the after-effects of the moonshine and his judgment was definitely
impaired.  Perhaps he was just making a mountain out of a molehill.

"Mac," Margaret began as she crossed the room.

"I have to go out for a while today," he interrupted as he stood.  "I've got
patients to see.  I had a full list yesterday but with everything that
happened..."  He trailed off as their eyes met.

"Mac, we need to spend some time together and really talk, don't you think?"
Margaret implored him as she changed the subject.  She didn't want him to
think about Christy just now.  "Please, I just got back and..."

"We'll talk tonight, Margaret," he said quietly but firmly.

"But you said upstairs that we needed to talk now.  You suggested I dress
and come down so we could."  She stamped her foot in a childish display of
anger.

"You forget that you planned to come back," he snapped.  "You've probably
worked out in your mind everything you want to say to me.  But I was
surprised by your return.  I need time to gather my own thoughts."  He
turned back to the fire and calculated how to broach the next subject.
"There is one thing I need to mention to you before I go."

"Yes?" Margaret asked cautiously.

"This morning, when I awoke, I heard you coughing in your sleep."

Margaret's face paled at his words and Neil noticed.  The physician in him
cautioned against plunging ahead.  He wanted to make sure she got the help
she needed.  He didn't want to scare her.  And yet, the man in him set sense
aside and charged ahead with compassion.  "You said at the teahouse that you
were in remission.  But, Margaret, your coughing concerns me.  I want you to
tell me how you really feel.  Has the tuberculosis returned?"

The room threatened to spin out from underneath her at any moment.  This was
what she feared most.  She couldn't let him know what had happened upstairs.
She flipped her hair carelessly over her shoulder, put on her most carefree
grin and laughed.  "Oh, Mac," she said.  "You always worry so much.  Twyla
and some of the other girls were passing around a bit of a cold before they
left El Pano.  I'm sure that's all I have."  She turned away from him then
to make her way to the kitchen.  "I'm fine," she tossed over her shoulder.
"I'm just fine."

Neil didn't know what to say.  Was Margaret in denial or was it really
nothing at all?  He wasn't sure.  But he was determined to find out later
that night.  "Fine," he muttered as he picked up his saddlebags and walked
toward the door.  "There's coffee on the stove."

Margaret whirled to look at him.  "Aren't you staying for breakfast?"

"No, I must go.  I've got a lot to do.  And by the way," he nodded toward
his locked laboratory.  I dug your old trunk out this morning.  You'll find
some of your things in it."

Margaret's hurt was momentarily replaced by the joy of knowing that he had
kept her clothing for her all of this time.  Perhaps there was hope after
all.  "Don't you want to stay and see me try some of my things on?" she
asked coyly.  "I could give you a private fashion show with all of the
perks!"

"No," he replied as he reached for the handle.  He could barely hide the
disgust in his voice.

"Are you just going to leave me here?" she asked.  He froze in mid-stride.
"I've been back for less than twenty-four hours and you're walking out on me
already?  Typical," she exclaimed in a heated voice.  "Something happens to
put the great Neil McNeill on edge and he runs away to hide behind his job.
Heaven forbid the almighty doctor has to face any real problems in his own
family.  My God, Mac, aren't we even going to talk about last night?"

Neil held his breath as her barrage of insults attacked his very soul.  For
so long after he thought she had drowned he had beaten himself up with the
knowledge that she wasn't happy in Cutter Gap.  Why hadn't he taken her
away?  Maybe if he had he would have saved her life.  And then, when he
found out that she was alive and had merely abandoned him, he realized that
she had never been happy with him.  He had questioned himself repeatedly,
constantly, day after day.  Wasn't he good enough for her?  Wasn't he worthy
of her love?  Had he left her behind one time too many in order to help his
people?  He had worked hard to exorcise these self-doubts.  And here she was
dragging them back to the forefront of his mind once more.  He had to get
away.

He kept his back to her and tried to maintain his composure.  "What is there
to talk about?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean," she said heatedly as she crossed the
room to him.

"Indeed, I don't," he lied as he turned to look down at her.  He wasn't
prepared to face this issue yet.  He wasn't ready to meet her fury when he
set her straight about her unwanted advances.

"Liar," she rightfully accused him.  "Last night you wanted me."  Her eyes
probed his for an admission.  "You looked at me with hunger in your eyes and
you came to me."  She reached up to touch his face.

He recoiled as if he'd been slapped.  "I don't know what you think you saw
last night, Margaret," he said as he took a step back from her.  "But I was
a drunken man lost in memories.  If I had had my wits about me I never would
have allowed you to think I wanted you in that way."

"Don't blame this on the liquor, Neil," she spat as she closed the distance
between them once more.  "You wanted me then.  You want me still.  Don't try
to deny it."  She reached out to hold him passionately.  "Drop the cool
detached doctor act.  It's only you and me here.  For God's sake, Mac, be a
man and admit what you feel!"

Neil lost what little self-control he still had in him and he turned his
fury on her.  "Admit what I feel?  Is that what you want?" he hollered as he
pried himself from her grasp.  "I do not love you, Margaret!  And I never
will again!"  His heated admission caused her to step backwards.  "And if
you are willing to admit it, you'll find that you don't love me either!  We
made a mistake when we married.  We were young and foolish.  Our love wasn't
the kind to last.  I was never good enough for you.  You made it quite clear
to me.  You weren't happy with me.  In fact, you despised me.  And yet, for
all of your rejection, I mourned you when I thought you were gone.  I
searched and searched..."  His voice broke as his emotion got the better of
him.

"You made my life a living hell!  Don't you understand that?  I beat myself
up over and over about my shortcomings until I finally came to a tenuous
peace with myself."  He took a deep breath and turned his sorrow back into
anger.  "And now that you are back I finally understand.  I was never going
to be good enough for you!  And you were never going to be good enough for
me.  We're all wrong for one another.  We're too different!  I am dedicated
to these people and to these mountains.  The only one you are dedicated to
is yourself, Margaret.  And I pity you for it!"  Without waiting for her
reply, Neil left her alone in the cabin.  He slammed the door with all of
his might and the very foundation of the cabin rattled in response.

Margaret stood stunned for a moment and then tripped to the door and threw
it open in time to see Neil ride away on Charlie.  The sharp blast of cold
air she inhaled as she was about to call his name seemed to freeze her
lungs.  The coughing began again.  Harder and harder she convulsed as the
spasm grew in intensity.  And when it was over her hands and dress were
spattered with her blood.  She managed to stand only for a moment more
before collapsing onto the floor.  She was choked for air.  Neil didn't love
her.  Worse still, he pitied her!  Her dreams of reconciliation were over.
The world began to swim as Margaret fought for air.  She felt as if she were
dying.  "What does it matter, anyway?" she thought as the world went black.
"Without Mother or Mac I have no reason to live."

** ** **

"Wake up, Miz Christy!" Ruby Mae pleaded for the fifth time.  "Miz Christy!"
Ruby Mae shook her teacher with a little more force.  Christy moaned and
slowly opened her eyes.  "Oh, Lordy, Miz Christy," exclaimed Ruby Mae with
her hands fluttering nervously about her.  "I thought fer sure when ya
didn't come down fer breakfast that ya was sick."  Christy rolled her eyes
and willed Ruby Mae to silence.  "But then Preacher didn't come neither and
I thought maybe you two was out on a early mornin jaunt or somethin.
Christy allowed herself to focus in on the girl's pleading.  "So I just went
about my usual chores for the day and I come up here to fetch yer laundry
and I seen ya lying so still like and still in yer dress from yesterday I
thought ya might be...

"Oh, Miz Christy!" Ruby Mae's tone changed to pure delight as she spied the
ring on her teacher's finger.  "That be the Preacher's ring?  Are ya goin ta
get married?"  Christy shook her head at the fiery redhead.  She could
change directions faster than a jackrabbit!

"Ruby Mae, calm down," Christy said gently.

"Oh, Miz Christy, a body cain't mortally calm down after knowin yer
engaged!"

Christy gave the young girl her most stern teacher look and waited for the
precocious girl to gain control of her faculties.  Realizing finally what
Ruby Mae had just told her, Christy asked, "Ruby Mae, what time is it?"

"It shorely be nigh on lunch time, ma'am."

"Nearly lunch time!  Ruby Mae, why didn't you or Miss Alice wake me sooner?"
She started to scramble out of bed.  "I can't believe I slept so long.  I've
got so much to do today."  Ruby Mae watched in fascination as Christy flew
around like a crazed bird.  "Ruby Mae, would you be so kind as to fetch me
some water in my pitcher?  I've got to get cleaned up so I can speak with
Ms. Alice."

"But, Miz Christy," Ruby Mae tried to explain.

"Ruby Mae, I don't have time right now," Christy admonished as she thrust
the pitcher at Ruby Mae and shoved her toward the door.  "We'll talk later."

Ruby Mae simply shook her head as the door shut behind her.  "Land sakes,"
she sighed, "Miz Christy shore has a bee in her bonnet this mornin.  Just
wait til I tell her that Miz Alice left for Kentucky this mornin."

Christy bustled around her room making her bed and pulling out clean clothes
for the day.  First, she needed to talk to Ms. Alice.  She desperately
wanted her mentor's advice.  Then, she had some tests to grade that she had
been neglecting for a while.  A visit to Fairlight was definitely in order.
Then, after supper perhaps, she would try to speak with David.  She only
hoped things wouldn't be too awkward between them.  She paused to sit on the
bed at the thought.  Dear David.  What was she going to say?  What was he
going to say?  She honestly didn't know.

Her thoughts shifted too easily then to Neil.  She sighed.  How had his
evening gone with Margaret?  Had they talked things through?  Had they
reconciled?  Christy recalled the embrace she had witnessed between husband
and wife by the river and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.  The gnawing ache
at her heart came back as she thought about what could never be.  Lost in
her thoughts, she stared longingly at the mountains through her window until
she was interrupted by Ruby Mae's ungraceful entrance.  "Oh, I'm so sorry
Miz Christy," she exclaimed as she spilled some of the water from the
pitcher onto the floor.  "Ya just got me all in a tizzy so I felt like I had
ta hurry for ya.  I'll clean this up real quick like."  

Christy just shook her head and gave a small laugh.  "Thank you, Ruby Mae,"
she said with a smile.  She hadn't realized until this moment how
off-putting her mood must have seemed to Ruby Mae.  "I'm sorry for scurrying
about so," she apologized.  "It's just that I'm anxious to speak with Ms.
Alice."

"But," Ruby Mae attempted again.

"I know, Ruby Mae," said Christy gently as she steered the excitable girl
toward the door once more.  "I'm sure you want to discuss what happened last
night with the Reverend and me but you'll just have to wait until I've
readied myself for the day."

"But," Ruby Mae needlessly tried one last time.

"I promise, Ruby Mae," Christy began to shut the door.  "I'll find you just
as soon as I am ready."

"Honestly!" Ruby Mae sighed in exasperation, mimicking her teacher to a "t"
as the door was shut upon her again.  "A girl cain't get a word in edgewise
'round here!"

"Honestly!" laughed Christy on the other side of the door as she turned back
to the washstand.  "She talked so much I don't think I got a word in
edgewise!"

Chapter 9

David decided that the best way to handle his retreat was to spill out his
heart to the Lord, sit in silence to hear His reply and then study His Word.
And so he started at the break of day.  He began with Christy and his
proposal.  He talked; he cried; he even shouted aloud.  His confusion gave
way to hurt and anger and wrapped itself back into confusion.  Why did he
love her so?  Why didn't she love him in the same way?  Could she?  Were
they meant to be together?  Was it God's plan?  If not, why had she come to
the Cove?  Could it have been for Neil?  Was it just for the children?

After he thoroughly covered the subject of Christy he turned his focus to
Neil McNeill.  The transition was easy.  He was bitter about the doctor and
everything he stood for.  Why was he such a staunch opposer of God?  Why did
he always confuse Christy so?  Why did he challenge the work of the Mission
at every turn?  David ranted about Neil's shortcomings for quite a while
before coming to a terrible personal revelation.  He didn't like the man.
The doctor didn't deserve his compassion.  It was that simple.  Or was it?
David was crushed when he really thought about it and realized that his
relationship with Neil was merely indicative of a larger problem; he didn't
love all men as God instructed him to.  Deserving or not, God expected him
to love others as God Himself loved him.  And he didn't.

This opened the gates to a flood of misgivings about himself.  Too often he
talked poorly of the mountain families because their views did not match his
own.  Too often he condemned them for not matching his priorities with their
own.  Was he too harsh with them?  Was he too judgmental?  Worse yet, was he
unforgiving?  Who was he to impose his views and his rules on others?

David broke into tears at this final round of thoughts.  He wasn't fit to be
a minister.  It was a feeling he had always carried with him.  The
self-doubts he had long ago buried when his mother had pressured him into
the ministry were coming back in full force.  He wasn't good or pure in
spirit.  His passion often overthrew his ability to be rational.  He had no
patience for others.  He wasn't a minister but a taskmaster!  He lacked the
necessary compassion.  Worse, he didn't really know God's plan.  How could
he instruct and shield his congregation if he, himself, had no idea what he
was talking about?

Finally, hours after the sun had burned the cool air away from the heights,
David lay on the warm rock of the cliff and wept bitterly.  He was a beaten
man.  He had emptied his heart only to find an empty soul as well.  He was
merely a shell of a man.  And he didn't know what to do.  Rolling over to
stare at the blinding sun he surrendered himself fully for the first time in
his life to his Creator.  "Help me, Lord," he cried out.  "Help me."

A cloud passed in front of the sun then and the temporary shade cooled
David's fevered brow.  As his eyes readjusted to the change in light he
heard a dove coo from the brush.  Realizing that he was incredibly thirsty,
David stood and walked to the shade of a grove of trees to retrieve his
canteen.  Lifting it to his lips he felt a faint breeze blow.  And in that
breeze he heard the voice of the Lord.  David felt the Holy Sprit enter into
his soul and he was once again filled by the grace of God.  "I'm ready to
hear You, Lord," he said to the sky with outstretched arms.  And he sat
under the shade of the trees and listened.  

** ** **

Neil had been making his rounds for hours and still he couldn't shake the
awful feeling he had carried with him since his argument with Margaret that
morning.  "I was so cruel," he said to Charlie.  "She was wrong for what she
did.  And I am completely overthrown by her return.  But despite the fact
that I do not love her, I must take care of her.  I made promises to her
when we were wed.  I cannot forsake her, no matter how deeply she has hurt
me.  I owe her that."

Now that his headache was gone and he could think more clearly, he was
almost positive that Margaret's tuberculosis had come back.  He also knew
that he had precious little time to convince her to return to the treatment
facility in Asheville.  But how was he going to convince her to go?

Neil sighed with relief as he saw the Holt cabin looming ahead through the
trees.  He flipped his collar up to the cool breeze.  The sun was bright
above and it promised to be a lovely autumn day, but the cold of the night
was still settled in the valley.  He hoped there might be some coffee
warming over the fire when he got there.  Determined to apologize this
evening to Margaret for his behavior and to speak with her about seeking
treatment again, he pushed all thoughts of her to the back of his mind so he
could give his next
patient his full attention. 

** ** **

Christy skipped down the stairs with mixed emotions.  She was anxious to see
Ms. Alice but afraid to see David.  She hoped she ran into her mentor first.
Pausing by the kitchen only long enough to grab an apple, she marveled at
the stillness in the Mission.  It was so quiet.  "I wonder where everyone
is," she thought as she wandered into the parlor.  "I can't hear David
banging away at some sort of repair."  She glanced out the window.  "And Ms.
Alice isn't tending to the garden like normal."  She grinned as she
remembered her friend's last battle with the weeds.  When Christy had asked
why she was so upset she had merely mumbled that she couldn't translate her
thoughts into words because she was a Christian woman and the Lord would not
appreciate what she had to say.

"Ruby Mae," Christy called.  She wanted to keep her promise to find the
young girl as soon as possible.  Besides, she needed to explain what had
transpired between David and her before Ruby Mae blabbed to the whole Cove
the news of their engagement.  She was sure David wouldn't be amused.  Not
after their uncertain parting.  "Ruby Mae," she called again as she made her
way onto the front porch.

"Over here, Miz Christy," Ruby Mae called as she rounded the corner.

"Ruby Mae, I'd like to talk to you about something very important.  Do you
have a moment?"

"You wanna talk to me about somethin important, Miz Christy?"  Ruby Mae's
eyes nearly popped out of her head at the thought of being her teacher's
confidante.

"Yes I do.  Please, come sit down."  When they were settled Christy got
straight to the point.  "I need you to keep my engagement to Reverend
Grantland a secret for just a little while."

"Oh, but, Teacher," she pleaded with wounded eyes, "you cain't expect me to
keep nothin that good to myself.  I just gotta be sharin the news!"

"Ruby Mae," Christy paused.  She wasn't sure how much she should tell about
her evening with David.  "I know that you helped Reverend Grantland prepare
quite a surprise for me yesterday and I enjoyed it very much."  Ruby Mae
beamed with pride.  "After my treasure hunt was over we met by the pond for
dinner."

"I know, Miz Christy," Ruby Mae broke in.  "And you must've liked it an
awful lot.  'Cause there weren't a crumb left on yer plates this mornin.
But I'm surprised that ya left all yer dishes on the gazebo all night.
After all, Miz Alice says that's the best way to attract critters ya don't
want hangin around.  But, seein that ya got engaged, I guess ya had more
important things on yer mind."

Christy digested this little nugget of information.  She had left David
alone before they had even eaten.  How could the food have disappeared?  And
why would David have left the dishes out all night?  She decided to figure
out those mysteries later and got back to the task at hand.  "Ruby Mae,
about my request.  You see, relationships are complicated matters.
Sometimes people have trouble understanding if what they think they want is
really what is best for them.  Do you understand?"  Ruby Mae shook her head
in confusion.  "You see, Ruby Mae, last evening Reverend Grantland and I
decided to get engaged.  But after a long talk, we decided that we needed
just a little bit more time to make sure that the decision we had made was
truly right for us."

"I don't get it, ma'am," she said.  "Who needs time?  Ya either love a body
or ya don't."

"I know it doesn't make much sense to you now," she said as she found
herself inclined to agree, "but I am asking you as a friend not to say
anything about this until we are ready.  Okay?"

Ruby Mae nodded enthusiastically.  "It shore will be hard to keep to myself
but I'll do it cause you asked me to!"  She rose from her chair after
receiving hearty thanks from Christy.  "I'd best get back to ma chores.  I
done put near all the washin into the big kettle out back, although there
weren't much as Miz Alice did some of it yesterday, and I was just headin to
get Preacher's.  You don't think he'll mind iffin I just go on into his
bunkhouse and fetch it do ya?  He didn't leave it out like he usually does."

"Did you ask him?" Christy asked as she scanned the yard for David.

"He ain't around," she said in response.  "Like I told ya this mornin I
ain't seen him all day."

Christy breathed a sigh of relief.  At least there wasn't any chance she'd
run into David before she'd had a chance to speak with Ms. Alice.  But she
wondered where he might be.  "I suppose that would be fine, Ruby Mae."

"Ruby Mae?" Christy asked again as her charge turned to enter the bunkhouse.
"Do you know where Ms. Alice is?  I really need to speak with her."

"She ain't here."

"Well, do you know when she'll be back?"

"Near about two weeks I reckon."

"Two weeks?" Christy cried out in dismay as she leapt from her chair.  "But
she just returned from Sand Mountain not long ago and I know she wasn't
going to Cataleechie until next month!"  This was indeed unwelcome news.
"Where in the world did she go?"

"I done tried to tell you when you first got up that she left for Kentucky
with Mr. Dan on the first train out of El Pano this mornin.  She went to see
his ma and to help him convince Miz Cecile to move back to the Cove with
him."  At Ruby Mae's words Christy sat with a thud.  "Are ya alright, Miz
Christy?  Yer lookin a might pale."

Christy took a deep breath and sighed.  She had just turned her future over
to the Lord last night.  Now she needed to be patient and to have faith in
His ability to work everything out in His own way.  "I'm fine, Ruby Mae.
Thank you."  She stood once more.  "I tell you what.  You run on and fetch
Reverend Grantland's washing and I'll meet you by the kettle.  Since Ms.
Alice is away I'd be happy to help you with the laundry."

"Oh, would ya, Miz Christy?  That'd be right nice of ya!"

"Run along now," Christy instructed.  She stood as the redhead disappeared
into the bunkhouse.  "Well, I guess I'll have to rearrange my schedule now
that Ms. Alice has gone to Kentucky.  After the laundry I'll need to tend to
the garden and get started on supper.  I'll put off my visit to Fairlight
until tomorrow after church and I'll grade the children's papers tonight.
That will still leave me free to speak with David after supper if he wants."
She paused to look over at the horizon.  "I wonder where he is today," she
thought.

Just then Ruby Mae came out of the bunkhouse with laundry in one hand and a
folded piece of paper in the other.  "Miz Christy!" she hollered.  "I found
a note in Preacher's bunkhouse and it's got yer name on it!"




Chapter 10 

The darkness was closing in on John Spencer and he ran with all of his might. 
 He had to get to the Mission.  Still damp from crossing the river the cool 
breeze that had begun to blow sent chills up his spine equal to those induced 
by the knot of fear in his belly.  He couldn't be slow.  He couldn't fail.   
He had to get to Ms. Henderson.  The lives of two people depended on him. 

He sprinted up the hill and past the old cemetery.  His shortcut through the 
woods earlier had brought him out too close.  "It's a bad omen," he thought 
as he willed the death away.  "Mama would say that my travels tonight have 
been cursed and someone ain't gonna make it."  He rounded the Charter Oak and 
continued at full speed.  He could see the Mission now.  Ignoring the pain in 
his lungs he raced toward the finish line. 

** ** ** 

Christy sat by the table grading her papers.  Ruby Mae sat opposite her, 
darning a pair of socks.  Usually Christy would have retreated to the solace 
of her room after dinner to do her work, but with David and Ms. Alice away 
she felt an odd need to be around another human being.  She was quickly 
regretting her decision, however, as she found Ruby Mae interrupting her 
thoughts again with another question. 

"Miz Christy, what do ya s'pose Preacher is doin on his retreat?" Ruby Mae 
put down her darning and looked thoughtfully off into space.  "Miz Alice says 
she prays and listens to the Lord, but Preacher don't strike me as the type 
to sit still for too long.  He's always movin or buildin or haulin or some 
such business.  I just cain't rightly imagine him sittin somewhere just a 
listenin to the Lord for two whole days." 

Christy sighed.  She, too, had wondered about David's retreat.  His note had 
said he was going to God's Fist and he would be back by the time service 
started on Sunday.  She was as curious as Ruby Mae to know what was happening 
up there but she was also thankful for the added time before she saw him 
again.  "The Lord is very powerful, Ruby Mae," she stated simply.  "If He 
wants the Reverend to listen, he will." 

Christy returned to her papers in a vain attempt to concentrate again.  She 
reread the first chapter of Becky O'Teale's essay for what must have been the 
fourth time when she realized it was no use.  Her train of thought had been 
derailed for good this time.  Letting her mind wander she thought not of 
David, but of Neil.  The all too familiar pang of loneliness tugged at her 
heart as she conjured him in her mind.  "I've got to stop this," she thought 
to herself.  She had imagined him on his rounds while she was hanging the 
laundry to dry.  She had pictured him fly fishing in the river while she 
weeded the garden.  She had remembered him bathing in the river while she 
burned the dinner.  And she had pictured him in his laboratory while she 
cleaned up her mess.  She sighed.  She knew she hadn't the right to think 
about him so, but she couldn't help but wonder what he might be doing this 
very moment. 

A sharp pounding at the front door tore her from her thoughts.  Ruby Mae let 
out a scream and Christy started with fright.  "Miz Henderson?  Preacher?   
Miz Christy?" John hollered.  "Anyone here?  Open up!  It's John Spencer!" 

At the sound of his voice Christy jumped to her feet and ran to the front 
door.  Throwing it open she nearly caught John in her arms as he fell through 
and gasped for breath.  "Ruby Mae, go get me some water," Christy commanded. 

"Yes'm," she said and was off in a flash. 

"John, are you alright?" Christy asked.  "What's wrong?  Are you hurt?" 

"I'm fine, ma'am," he said as he gulped in the air.  "But Miz Henderson's 
gotta come quick.  It's an emergency." 

"John, Ms. Alice isn't here.  She left town this morning." 

"But with Mr. Dan gone Doc McNeill said he needs Miz Henderson to come." 

"Dr. McNeill?" Christy asked in panic.  "Is he hurt?  Oh, John, you must tell 
me if he is okay." 

Ruby Mae entered with the water and handed it to John.  The few seconds he 
took to drink felt like an eternity to Christy.  Had something happened to 
Neil?  She was gripped with fear. 

"He's alright," John said as he handed the cup back to Ruby Mae.  Christy 
breathed a prayer of thanks. 

"John, you must tell me what's going on." 

"I cain't be wastin no more time, ma'am.  Two people's lives are dependin on 
me." 

"John, just tell me quickly," Christy instructed.  "Ms. Alice is with Dan in 
Kentucky.  They won't be back for two weeks or so.  But I'm here now and I 
can help." 

"It's Creed," he said forlornly.  "Mama's kin was around for a spell today 
and we went traipsin a bit.  And while we was out Creed fell and hit his 
head.  He said he felt fine and all but later he started gettin sick and 
complainin that his head hurt real bad.  Next thing we knowed he wasn't 
conscious.  He's laying all still-like in mama's bed." 

"Dear Lord, Creed," Christy gasped.  She wanted to go to him at once but she 
needed to know the rest.  "John, you said two people.  Who else?" 

"Well, ma'am, mama sent me for the Doc but when I got there he was already 
tendin to that woman at his place." 

"That woman?" asked Christy.  "John, do you mean Margaret?" 

"Yes'm.  Doc said she's real sick and he cain't leave her to take care of 
Creed until Miz Henderson comes ta stay with her." 

Christy knew what she had to do.  "Ruby Mae," she instructed, springing into 
action.  "Go see if Ms. Alice left her medical bag behind.  If so, bring it 
to me along with some extra bedding and food.  Then pack some things for 
yourself for an overnight."  Ruby Mae was already on her way up the stairs.   
"John, Reverend Grantland is away for the night and I'm going to tend to 
Margaret at Dr. McNeill's in Ms. Alice's place.  I don't want Ruby Mae to 
stay alone.  I need you to take her to Bessie's cabin before you return home. 
 If you beat Doctor McNeill there tell your family to hang on.  He'll be 
there soon." 

Ruby Mae ran back into the room with the articles her teacher had asked for.   
"Here ya go, Miz Christy." 

"Thank you, Ruby Mae.  Please extinguish the fire in the hearth and wrap up 
the berry pie we made earlier today.  John will be taking you to Bessie's for 
the night.  Offer the pie to Mr. Coburn with my thanks.  I'm going to Dr. 
McNeill's.  Be careful."  Ruby Mae nodded.   

"You too, ma'am," said John.  "And thank ya." 

Christy grabbed the lantern and her Bible and ran quickly to the barn to 
ready Theo.  She led him from the barn and climbed up.  "Dear Lord," she 
prayed.  "Please help me get to Neil's quickly.  Please keep Creed and 
Margaret in your care.  Amen."   Willing him to move quickly on the journey, 
Christy turned Theo towards Neil's cabin and urged him forward into the 
darkness. 

** ** ** 

"Where is she?" Neil snarled in loud frustration.  It was taking Alice an 
eternity to arrive at his cabin and he was losing precious time!  If John's 
description of Creed was accurate he had suffered a concussion.  What John 
couldn't tell him was just how severe it was.  Neil looked out the window 
again.  He had to get to Creed and soon.  Back up the stairs he flew, two at 
a time.  He bent over the still form in his bed.  "Oh, Margaret," he sighed.   
"Why didn't I pay better attention this morning?"  He checked her vital signs 
again and made sure she was resting as comfortably as possible.  Her fever 
was still high and her breathing was labored.  He sat down on the stool next 
to the bed and covered her icy hands with his. 

"Margaret, can you hear me?" he asked.  "Margaret, I need you to wake up 
now."  The sense of de ja vu was overwhelming.  "Margaret?" he asked again.   
She didn't respond.  He began to rub her hands between his own to warm them.   
"I'm so sorry," he whispered as he looked into her ashen face.  "I knew the 
tuberculosis had returned.  But I was too concerned with myself this morning 
to see that something else was going on.  If only I would have followed my 
instincts I would have seen how sick you really were.  I'm so sorry." 

A brief pounding at his door broke him from his confessional.  When he heard 
the door open he hollered, "Up here, Alice!"  He turned back to Margaret.   
Keeping both of her hands in his right one to keep them warm, he placed his 
left palm on her forehead to monitor the fever.  "Come on," he whispered, 
willing the medicine he had been forcing down his wife's throat to do its 
job.  "Please."  The anguish in his voice at his inability to do more was 
apparent.  And Christy picked up on it. 

She had been standing in the doorway to Neil's bedroom for only a moment but 
it was long enough to take in the picture in front of her.  Margaret was 
obviously very ill.  And Neil was obviously very upset over that fact.  He 
held her hands in his own.  He stroked her brow.  He still loved her.   
Christy swallowed hard against the knot that formed quickly in her throat.   
She hadn't the right.  She hadn't the right...but that didn't make it any 
easier to bear. 

"Ahem," she cleared her throat as she blinked back the brightness of unshed 
tears.  "I came as quickly as I could.  But you know how slow Theo is." 

Neil whirled about at the sound of Christy's voice.  He had to be dreaming.   
In amazement he took in the sight of her.  Wind-whipped hair fell from its 
combs.  Concerned blue eyes bored into his own.  A deep blush of crimson from 
the cool evening colored her nose and cheeks.  Her coat was unbuttoned and 
one glove was already off, the other forgotten on her hand.  She wore his 
favorite blue dress.  It was girlish in style but womanly in effect.  He 
closed his eyes, knowing that Alice Henderson would be standing there when he 
opened them again.  He shouldn't be thinking of Christy.  He didn't have the 
right and he didn't have the time.  But when he opened his eyes, it was 
Christy before him still. 

Christy rushed around to the other side of the bed as she finished removing 
her coat and gloves.  "John came to the Mission and said you needed help.  I 
understand Creed is hurt.  He also told me that Margaret was ill.  Please, 
tell me what to do to help you."  She placed Ms. Alice's medical bag on the 
bed.  "I brought this in case you were running low on anything." 

Neil merely continued to stare.  What was Christy doing here?  And why was 
she taking such charge?  In the classroom he had seen this side of her to be 
sure.  But in medical matters she was never one to eagerly participate. 

"Doctor?" Christy asked him when he did not reply.  "John said it was an 
emergency.  Shouldn't we be doing something?" 

The urgency in her voice shook him from his contemplation.  He frowned.   
Where was Alice?  Christy wasn't part of his plan.  "What are you doing 
here?"  His voice was harsher than he wanted.  "I asked for Alice." 

Trying to hide her hurt she lifted her chin in defiance.  "I am fully aware 
of whom you wanted, Doctor.  But as Ms. Alice left with Dan for Kentucky this 
morning I came in her place.  I'm not trained like she is, but I'm willing to 
help." 

"Why didn't Grantland come instead of you?" he asked out of self-pity as her 
ring caught the lamplight.  "I can't imagine he's too happy about you being 
here." 

Christy didn't want to enter into a sparring match with Neil at this 
particular moment.  Too much was at stake.  But he got her back up just the 
same.  "Not that it matters at a critical time such as this, Doctor, but 
David is away until tomorrow.  And before you ask, Ruby Mae was at home but I 
didn't think she could be of much use to you given her need to flutter and 
carry on so.  And as we don't expect to see Dr. Ferrand for quite some time, 
it seems your only option is me.  Now, kindly tell me how I can be of help." 

Neil grinned at her fire in spite of himself.  "Very well, Ms. Huddleston."   
He sobered as he gestured to Margaret.  "Her tuberculosis has returned." 

Christy gasped.  "Oh, Neil, I'm so sorry." 

"That's not the worst of it, Christy."  He sighed and sat down next to 
Margaret again.  "Last night she was exposed for a prolonged period to the 
cool air.  This morning I thought I saw signs of fever.  She claimed to be 
feeling fine.  But when I returned from my rounds this evening I found her 
lying in the open doorway.  God alone knows how long she had lain there.  I 
cannot say how long she has been suffering from it, but she has contracted 
pneumonia."  Neil looked up to Christy once more.  "I fear for her life, 
Christy.  Her lungs are filled with fluid, her breathing is labored and 
although her fever is going down I haven't been able to break it completely.   
Due to her weakened state from the tuberculosis, she may not be able to fight 
this infection.  I only wish she would wake up." 

Christy looked with compassion from Neil to Margaret and back again.  "Neil, 
I know it must be extremely difficult for you to accept my help."  Neil's 
eyebrows rose in question and Christy tried to ignore the awkwardness of the 
situation.  "Well, given what happened between us.  I know it might be 
uncomfortable for Margaret to wake to my presence but from the sound of 
things, I don't think I can be of any help to Creed myself.  So, please, if 
there is anything I can do for Margaret, let me do it so you can be on your 
way." 

Neil looked deeply into Christy's eyes.  "I'm not sure if you can be of any 
help to her."  He looked back to Margaret.  "I'm not sure if anyone can.  All 
I can do now is wait." 

Christy walked swiftly around the bed and crouched down next to Neil.  "Neil, 
if waiting with her is all that can be done, then let me wait.  If you have 
instructions, then give them to me now.  Creed needs you.  Go to him.  And 
when you get there send John back to me.  That way I can send for you if 
Margaret gets worse and you won't have to worry about us being here alone.   
Alright?"  She looked into his worried face.  Moved by the piteous look in 
his eyes she reached up and touched his cheek.  "Neil, go!  I promise to take 
good care of her." 

"I know you will," he whispered.  The nearness of her stirred a need deep in 
his heart and the feeling shook him from his stupor.  He rose quickly and 
helped Christy into the stool.  He looked through Alice's medical bag and 
pulled out a few bottles.  "I've given her some of this already," he said, 
indicating powdered aspirin.  "If I have not returned in two hours give her a 
teaspoon more.  Mix it in some water, lean her up and force as much as you 
can into her if she hasn't regained consciousness.  In the meantime, continue 
to place cool compresses on her head.  If she should begin another coughing 
fit, roll her onto her side.  She must be helped to pass the clots in her 
lungs.  If she lays flat she may choke."  He held up the remaining bottles.   
"These others she shouldn't need.  If her breathing becomes too labored, you 
can make a mustard poultice and apply it to her chest as we did with the 
onions for the scarlet fever epidemic.  All of the supplies are already 
gathered in the kitchen." 

Christy nodded as she wrapped her mind around what Neil was saying.  For the 
first time since she left the Mission earlier, she was beginning to feel real 
fear.  Her facade of calm threatened to break under the thoughts swirling 
about in her head.  What if Margaret got worse?  What if John couldn't get to 
Neil in time?  What if Margaret actually woke up and ordered Christy from the 
cabin?  If she refused, would her presence upset Margaret to the point of a 
relapse? 

"Christy?"  Neil's voice focused her once more.  "Do you understand?" 

"Yes, I think so." 

"Good. I'll be back as soon as I can."  Neil turned and ran down the stairs.   
He retrieved his saddlebags and raced toward the door.   

"Neil!"  Christy's pleading stopped him in mid-stride. 

He turned quickly to see her standing on the staircase.  The panic in her 
eyes was barely masked by the determination on her face.  "It will be 
alright, Christy."  She nodded.  "I'll be back soon and I'll send John right 
away."  When he noticed her shoulders relax ever so slightly he added, "Thank 
you." 

Christy watched the door close behind him.  She prayed that Neil would reach 
Creed quickly, that Margaret would wake up soon and that she would have the 
strength to face whatever came.  Then she turned and ascended the stairs.

Chapter 11 (All Biblical quotations are taken from the King James Version.) 

David lay in his bedroll once more.  It had been a long day.  But instead of 
feeling drained, he felt rejuvenated.  Never before had his purpose been so 
clear.  Never before had his Lord's desire for him been so easy to 
understand.  David smiled at the irony of his last thoughts.  No, he knew his 
life as a minister would never be easy.  But the rewards of Heaven would be 
bountiful.  And his path would not be lonely.  He would never want for sheep 
to shepherd.  He would be blessed with friendships and helpers aplenty.  He 
would relish his theological discussions with Ms. Alice.  He would welcome 
the mentor-like input from Dr. Ferrand.  And there was Christy.  His heart 
had decided.  He couldn't wait to see her again to tell her about his 
retreat.  He had so many wonderful revelations to share.  David smiled at the 
moon above, squeezed the arrowhead in his palm and slowly drifted off to 
sleep. 

** ** ** 

Maintaining a constant state of watch and worry made the time drag on 
endlessly for Christy.  During the first hour she sponged Margaret's head 
continuously with cool water, the whole time wondering about the woman 
herself, her past life away from Cutter Gap and her future back in it.   
Although she hated to admit it, Christy was deeply troubled by Margaret.  She 
was angry with her for the pain she had caused to Neil and to Ms. Alice.  And 
upon reflection, more worrisome to Christy was the fact that she was 
resentful of Margaret's return into their lives. 

The second hour, after Margaret's fever broke, Christy tried to divert her 
mind from sour thoughts of her patient by passing the time telling the 
unconscious woman stories about her school children.  When that hour was up 
she mixed the aspirin and water as Neil had instructed.  After a couple of 
awkward attempts to prop Margaret up, Christy had managed to get part of the 
liquid into her. 

Christy was thankful as she thought back over the past few hours.  So far, 
Margaret had only had two coughing spells.  The first one frightened her 
badly.  Margaret had expelled quite a bit of blood and Christy nearly sent 
John for Doctor McNeill.  But when it passed quickly, Christy relented.  John 
had been sleeping peacefully near the fire downstairs for only an hour or so. 
 She was sure that he was exhausted from all of his running and she wanted to 
let him sleep.  And in truth, the spell hadn't seemed to worsen Margaret's 
condition in the slightest.  And so, she had faced the second spell with more 
confidence.  Thankfully, it too had passed quickly. 

Now well into the third hour of her watch, Christy felt drained and anxious.   
Margaret had still not awakened and Christy was tired of telling stories.  So 
she picked up her Bible and opened to her marker.  After finding her place 
she began to read aloud.  "Here we go.  1 Corinthians.  Chapter 12.  Verse 12. 
      For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the 
      members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also 
      is Christ.  For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, 
      whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; 
      and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.  For the body 
      is not one member but many.  If the foot shall say, Because I 
      am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the 
      body?  And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I 
      am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?  If the 
      whole body were an eye, where were the hearing?  If the whole 
      were hearing, where were the smelling?  But now hath God 
      set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath 
      pleased him." 

Margaret stirred on the bed ever so slightly and her eyes opened.   
Disoriented, she let her vision and mind clear before turning her head to 
look at Christy.  "What is she doing here?" Margaret thought to herself.   
"And what is she reading to me?" 

     "...that there should be no schism in the body; but that the 
      members should have the same care one for another.  And 
      whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; 
      or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it." 

Christy paused in her reading.  There was a message here for her.  She 
recalled her earlier thoughts of Margaret and felt ashamed.  "Dear Lord," she 
silently prayed.  "Forgive me for my hard feelings.  Margaret is a child of 
Yours just like I am.  If she is hurt I need to help her because we are both 
part of Your family; we are both members of Your church body.  Even if she 
has turned her back on You and hurt those around her, You would want me to be 
healing, forgiving and kind.  Please help me to sweep my bad thoughts away 
and be here for her.  Help me to love her as You love us both." 

"If you're trying to finish the job by killing me with boredom, you're 
succeeding," stated Margaret simply.  Christy jerked her head up, her eyes 
wide.  "I mean really, Christy, a medical text?  Parts of the body?  Tedious 
really.  Couldn't you have at least picked a fabulous adventure novel?" 

Too nervous to say