********************************************************************** Disclaimer: This story is written for entertainment only. The characters of Christy belong to the LeSourd Family. I am in no way seeking profit from the continuation of the story. Any characters that are invented for the purposes of this Fanfic were created by the author. ********************************************************************** Title: Neil's Life Before Christy: Neil's Journal Author: Rebecca Odle ********************************************************************** Neil's Life Before Christy: Neil's Journal Mon. Sept. 07, 1901 Dear Journal, Today was the first day of medical school and though I hate to admit it, even to myself, I was a bit scared. Imagine me, a country boy from the backwoods of the Appalachian Mountains here in Baltimore beginning to fulfill a boyhood dream to become an educated doctor Neil Sat. Sept. 19, 1901 Dear Journal, Thank goodness for Saturdays! If it weren't for Saturdays I wouldn't have any time to write. This is only my second week here and already I am overloaded with classes at day, homework at night and work at a local coffee shop in between that! Speaking of which, coffee is exactly what I've been living on lately! I am worn out and still have homework left so I will close. Neil Sat. Sept. 26, 1901 Dear Journal, As Monday rolls around the corner so begins my fourth week of medical school. I find it amazing at all I've learned in the past four weeks and yet what seemingly little I have learned compared to what I have left to learn in months to come. With my days (and nights!) full I have found little time to think about home…Home. Cutter Gap, Tennessee. The cabin where Granny MacNeill raised me since I was eight years old when mother and father were killed when our cabin caught fire. I remember that day so well. My dog Bandit and I had been off playing in the woods when we saw the horrid smoke and flames rising, rising up into the sky. By the time help came it was too late. My parents didn't make it out of the terrible flames. But that was years ago. I shouldn't be writing this now. So, good night. Neil Sat. Oct. 03, 1901 Dear Journal, As long as I live I don't think I'll ever forget why I wanted to become a doctor and how I came to be at this school… First of all I decided to be a doctor at the age of about fourteen years old …seeing my neighbors, my family, my friends, my people in pain, suffering, and dying due to lack of medical skills. Then when I was fifteen a few of doctors, Dr. James Healy, Dr. McDougall, Dr. Kinnigan, Dr. Paget, and Dr. Gatlin, came from up north on a hunting trip. They took a liking to me and hired me to help carry their camping gear and to show them around the mountains. They found I had ambitions to become a doctor and now, five years later made that dream a reality for me. Well, enough story telling for tonight. Neil Sat. Oct. 24, 1901 Dear Journal, It has been a full three weeks since I've written but you would not believe how busy I've been. Every day it's classes, classes and more classes not to mention all the homework I have to do at night plus my job. There is so much to learn, so many illness and medicines, in both Latin and English, so much to remember. How will I learn it all?!?! Neil Sat. Nov. 07, 1901 Dear Journal, Well I have been here a full two months and I wish I could say it got easier but that would be far from the truth wouldn't it! Hard as school may be I am determine to like it, at all costs! I live from Saturday to Saturday enjoying what little spare time I get away from school and work at the Coffee Shop. Even on Saturdays I find little time to write! Neil Sat. Nov. 14, 1901 Dear Journal, Worked late at the Coffee Shop today then came back and studied. I am too tired to write tonight. Neil Sat. Nov. 21, 1901 Dear Journal, I worked again until late this evening and I still have much studying to do. Neil Thur. Nov. 26, 1901 Dear Journal, Today is Thanksgiving Day and I am spending the holiday alone. I have today as well as tomorrow off from school and work and I think I will spend tomorrow at the library. I remember so vividly the Thanksgivings back home in Cutter Gap. When Granny MacNeill was alive and we would have our own little Thanksgiving dinner or gather together with a few neighbors. It was such a pleasant time for us all. Neil Fri. Nov. 27, 1901 Dear Journal, I went to the library today. I met a beautiful young woman there. Her name is Margaret, Margaret Henderson. She's from Pennsylvania. I took her out to dinner tonight. Neil Wed. Dec. 02, 1901 Dear Journal, Took Margaret to lunch today. We had a good time or at least I did. Neil Fri. Dec. 18, 1901 Dear Journal, Margaret and I have seen a lot of each other the last couple of weeks. To night we went to the play the "Christmas Carol " by Charles Dickens. Then we went to dinner. Neil Sun. Dec. 25, 1901 Dear Journal, It is Christmas Day today. Margaret and I had Christmas dinner together this evening since neither one of us has any family near by. Back home there would be no Christmas trees, no tinsel and glitter, no fancy dinners, few, if any presents, just families gathered together to celebrate. Neil Sun. Jan. 01, 1902 Dear Journal, It is a New Year's Day and so begins a new year---1902. Only the rest of this year plus six more years until I graduate! Neil Six Years, Three Months Later… Sat. April 15, 1908 Dear Journal, Today, after nearly seven years of seeing each other I asked Margaret to marry me…she said yes!!!!! Neil Tue. April 18, 1908 Dear Journal, Margaret and I will be married in June, a month after I graduate from medical school. Our wedding will be at a little chapel I know of here in Baltimore. From there we will go back to Cutter Gap to live. I will go back to help my family, my friends, my people. I will soon be in the hills of home to serve my people and give them the doctor they so badly need. Soon I will be able to make a difference in their lives. Neil Mon. May 15, 1908 Dear Journal, Today I graduated!!! Finally after seven long years I finally made it!! I have had several offers to work at some fine big city hospitals but I couldn't accept them because my people need me. Neil Thur. June 17, 1908 Dear Journal, Tomorrow is the big day. This time tomorrow Margaret and I will be husband and wife and be living in Cutter Gap, TN.!! Neil Fri. June 18, 1908 Dear Journal, Today, Friday June 18th 1907, Margaret Henderson and I were married today!! Neil Sat. July 18, 1908 Dear Journal, Margaret and I have been married and back in the Cove for a month now and I couldn't be happier! When Margaret first saw the Cove, the cabin (now our home) I could not tell what she thought of it. Though she said she liked it I was not so sure. It is so good to be back with neighbors, with people I've known all my life, to be home. Neil Eleven Months Later… Sat. June 18, 1909 Dear Journal, Margaret and have been married a full year now and it seems impossible! During the past year I have been slowly trying to gain my neighbors trust as a doctor. After being gone so long (seven years), I have been considered a "foreigner," an "outsider," so now I have had to regain their trust. It has been a slow task but completely worthwhile. I have learned here things I didn't notice before I went to medical school such as how modern medicine and the mountain superstitions do not mix. If my word were to cross Granny Barclays then all I have striven for this past year will have been worthless. Some of the mountain superstitions are sound, others are false; such as fence forms, there is a logical explanation for that; but others, like the ailment of liver-grown, there's no such thing. A woman by the name of Alice Henderson has been living at the Cove for the last couple of months. She is Margaret's mother. From what I've seen and heard they don't get along. Strange, that Margaret 's never mentioned her before. Neil Sat. July 02, 1909 Dear Journal, Back at medical school I thought I had very little time to write but now I seem to have even less time with riding all over the mountains helping those that are sick. Being the only physician for seven mile isn't easy. The feuding between the Taylors and the Allens seems to get worse every day. So many get hurt or killed from it, all taking sides in a feud that I doubt any one remembers what started it. So much hatred and hurt. The stilling (moonshine making and smuggling) doesn't help either. Neil One Year Later… Thur. July 06, 1910 Dear Journal, Margaret and I have been married two years now and maybe it's just my imagination but it seems to me that Margaret is restless, bored. Perhaps she misses her life in the city. Life here is hard, very hard. Neil Fri. July 14, 1910 Dear Journal, Even after all the years I've lived here, both as a doctor and now, I've never gotten used to, and suppose I never will, to seeing my friends in pain, dying. It is a fact of life, I know, and after we die surely we aren't gone forever…surely there is something more… something more, maybe there is and maybe there isn't but either way that doesn't bring back the child a mother lost to typhoid…it doesn't bring back those we've lost, those we mourn… Grandmother Spencer died today. We were very good friends. Neil Tue. Aug. 01, 1910 Dear Journal, Every day Margaret seems more and more unhappy. I don't know why. Margaret rarely talks to her mother. There seems to be a deep hurt and anger between them, and Margaret won't tell me about what the problem is. Only huffs in anger when her mother is around. I guess I should tell more about Ms. Henderson. She is a Quaker lady from Pennsylvania. She speaks with "Thees" and "Thous". She doesn't seem like the type to come to these mountains just for the fun of it…she came here because of Margaret. I know this because Margaret used to get letters from her but Margaret would either throw them in the fire or return them unread. Ms. Henderson came here searching for her daughter whom she probably thinks was whisked a way to the middle of nowhere by a man she barley knew. Neil Tue. Aug. 15, 1910 Dear Journal, Margaret and I have been fighting a lot lately and usually over the stupidest of things! Silly as they may be they keep getting worse, the words more hateful, more hurtful. Neil Fri. Aug. 25, 1910 Dear Journal, The fighting gets worse every day. The arguing is mostly over my being gone so much of the time, how I'm never home, how lonely she is! Doesn't she see how much these people need me?! Doesn't she care that this is my job?! She knew what she was getting into when she married me! Like it or not I am a doctor and I am going to keep on doctoring these people! Neil Fri. Sept. 08, 1910 Dear Journal, Tonight the fighting has been worse than ever! Margaret's fiery beauty that I fell in love with, her independent spirit, her love of freedom, has become the very thing I hate! Neil Sun. Sept. 10, 1910 Dear Journal, This cannot be happening, it can't!!! Friday, after an especially heated argument I stormed outside into the raging storm, not unlike my emotions, I got on my horse and left. When I got back she was gone…I thought perhaps she tried to follow me and got lost but we (neighbors, Alice Henderson, and I) have searched all over the mountains and found no trace of her. All her things are still here so surely she didn't leave. Where could she be????? Where?? Neil Mon. Oct. 10, 1910 Dear Journal, It has been a month and still no sign of Margaret. I fear she is gone for good, dead or alive. My grief is too much; I cannot bare it, so I will close. But first I must write this; I feel this is all my fault, all my fault… Neil Tue. Oct. 18, 1910 Dear Journal, My sorrow is too much. My loneliness is unbearable. Why did this have to happen?? Why did we have to have that last heated argument, why did I have that say those last hateful words? I can write no more. Neil Ten Months Later… Wed. Aug. 18, 1911 Dear Journal, Though my grief and loneliness are unbearable, I have tried to get on with life. Alice Henderson built herself a cabin last year and is now building (with the help of neighbors and a man named Dr. Ferrand, who has started a few missions throughout these four states) a big house to begin a mission/church/school here. From what she's told me she plans on hiring a pastor and teacher to work with her. After the mission house is complete Dr. Ferrand will be leaving. That much I am glad for, I don't care for him at all. Neil Wed. Oct. 18, 1911 Dear Journal, Alice has finished her mission house. Dr. Ferrand has gone to recruit helpers. Neil Thur. Oct. 26, 1911 Dear Journal, Alice tells me that a young man by the name of Grantland will be arriving at the beginning next month. He will be the new preacher here. Neil Thur. Nov. 03, 1911 Dear Journal, Today the new preacher arrived. His name is David Grantland. He brought his older sister, Ms. Ida Grantland with him. I suppose his mother thought he was too young to come on his own! Or perhaps he was too scared! Ha-ha! Neil Thur. Nov. 10, 1911 Dear Journal, Grantland will be preaching his first sermon here in Cutter Gap and I can guarantee you I won't be there! God has no place in my life. Alice talks of a God of love, of a God who cares but I don't see either. How can a God who loves us so much let people suffer and die? If He cares then why does He let there be bad things in life such as wars and illnesses? No, a loving God wouldn't. If he cared at all He wouldn't let my neighbors die; He wouldn't have let Margaret leave me. I am a man of science; God does not exist in my life! Neil Thur. Nov. 24, 1911 Dear Journal, Alice informed me today that a young schoolteacher would be arriving early next year, in January. Probably a young girl from the city. A high-class spoiled rich girl. Neil Mon. Dec. 27, 1911 Dear Journal, The schoolteacher is due to arrive Wed. Jan. 05th. Neil Wed. Jan. 05, 1912 Dear Journal, Bob Allen was badly injured today. He had been out to fetch the new teacher and a big poplar got winded and fell on him. He was found by Tom McHone when he was out hunting. Bob had severe bleeding in the head. Mary Allen decided, against Ault's wishes, to let me perform surgery. It was risky since I have never done it before, only seen it done by Dr. Gatlin. If the bleeding doesn't start up, Bob has a good chance of making it all right. The schoolteacher arrived this afternoon. Her name is Christy Huddleston… Neil THE END **********************************************************************