Title: Forever In Your Heart
Author: Allysen

Disclaimer: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by the 
LeSourd Family. I am in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. I am 
continuing the story of Christy for my own amusement only.)

ORIGINALITY DISCLAIMER: (Annie doesn't mind me using this.) With all the 
wonderful, exciting fanfic that's being posted every day. If my story uses 
situations or dialog or plot lines that seem very similar to others out 
there, please forgive me. 


Forever In Your Heart


Part 1


(Summary: Neil leaves for New York City, Christy can't understand why Neil 
left without saying goodbye to her and the children.)

    The rumor going around Cutter Gap was that Doctor Neil MacNeill had 
accepted a position at St. Augustine's Hospital in New York City. Christy had 
heard it but was waiting to hear it from Doctor MacNeill himself. I won't 
believe it until he tells me, she told herself firmly. He wouldn't leave, he 
just couldn't. These are his people, he wouldn't desert them...us...me...

*****

    Doctor Neil MacNeill was showing Daniel Scott the letter from St. 
Augustine's. "I'll be leaving in the morning." Neil said briefly.
    
    Daniel Scott nodded. "I'll be very glad to take over your practice, 
doctor," he said. "But you know that most of these mountain people don't take 
kindly to me."

    "I know." Neil grimaced. "Even I who grew up in these mountains, they 
didn't trust me after I came back from medical school in Scotland, either. 
They never forgave me for leaving them. I became an outsider to them." Neil 
shook his head. "No that's not true. I think they forgave me in time, but I 
had a heck of a time getting them to accept me back. Of course, Jeb and 
Fairlight Spencer are good people, I didn't have to convince them. But, I 
know you'll do fine. I'm getting nowhere fast here. It's time to be moving 
on."

    "I promise to do the best I can and make you proud." Dan told him.

    "You'll do fine." Neil reassured him, and then offering Dan his hand, he 
gripped it in a firm handshake.

    Neil waited until Christy was teaching the children at the schoolhouse. 
He knocked on the missionhouse door and stepped in at Alice's command. He 
stood uncertainly at the door and just looked at her.

    "Neil?" Alice asked, coming near him.

    "Ah, I just came to say goodbye, Alice. In case you hadn't heard, I've 
accepted the position at St. Augustine's in New York City."

    "So the rumor is true, is it?" Alice asked.

    "Aye, I'm leaving on the afternoon train. I'm all packed, ready to go. 
Doctor Scott has orders to be available, I don't think he knows what he's up 
against but I have to admire the courage in the man. You'll be in good hands, 
I should know, I trained him myself," Neil tried to smile at the joke he 
attempted to make. " I wouldn't be leaving if I didn't believe that, Alice." 
Neil turned to go. "Tell Miss Huddleston and the children good bye for me, 
will you?"

    "Why doesn't thee say good bye to them thyself, Neil? They are all over 
at the school house. I'm sure the children would not want thee to leave 
without saying good bye. My goodness Neil, thee has seen these children grow 
up here. Healed them, comforted them, told them stories. They are all your 
children in a way."

    "I'm not very good at good bye's, Alice, please tell them for me."

    "What about Miss Huddleston?" Alice asked suddenly. "Aren't thou even 
going to say farewell to her?"

    "No, Alice. I'm not. I'm not in the mood for arguing. You know how angry 
she got when I told her my plans to attend St. Timothy's in Baltimore last 
year. She jumped down my throat. She practically killed me with those daggers 
shooting out of her eyes. Accused me about not being a good doctor to 'my' 
people. Telling me that I was abandoning them. Well, Daniel Scott is here and 
he will take care of 'my' people for me, and that includes Miss Christy 
Huddleston herself." Neil went out the door and down the stairs.

    "You revel in arguments, Neil!" Miss Alice called after him. "What makes 
this time so different?"

    Miss Alice met Christy after school that day. "Thee has heard that Doctor 
MacNeill is gone?" she asked the schoolteacher. 

    Christy nodded her head. "Yes, news travels fast, doesn't it, Miss Alice? 
I don't understand why he didn't wait and say good bye. Miss Alice, I thought 
Neil MacNeill and I were good friends. I guess I was wrong. What did I do?"

    "I can not say, Christy." she told her. "No one can explain why someone 
else does something, only that person can. Thee will need to ask Neil that 
question thyself, child."

    Christy gave Miss Alice a stubborn look. "It's not my place to ask Doctor 
MacNeill anything. He walked out on us and if he wants to explain why he 
left, then that is his prerogative. I'll not waste my time wishing 
otherwise." Christy gathered up her school things and walked out the door. 
Miss Alice's eyes watched her sadly.

*****

    Neil was at work, but he couldn't keep his mind on his research. He saw 
Christy as she had the last time he had seen her. Her blue dress bringing out 
the bright blue of her eyes. The wisps of hair dancing in the wind as it 
escaped the bun at the nape of her neck. He could see Christy everywhere, 
walking with the children, talking to Alice, reading with Fairlight. His mind 
would go over every conversation they had ever had until he had placed 
everything to memory. He missed her, but wouldn't admit it, even to himself. 
He was jolted back to the present with a start and bent hurriedly over the 
microscope. 

    It was Doctor Douglas Ferguson, who had come into the room. "I didn't 
mean to startle you, Mac." was the reply. "But I need your advice on this 
case that just came in, Do you have a moment?"

    Neil glanced up, anything to take his mind off of home. "Yes, coming." 
Douglas Ferguson was the same age as him. It was nice to have a friend like 
him in the big city. Even in their off days, you could usually find them 
together at the hospital. They often consulted one another and bounced ideas 
and treatments off each other.

***************
Spending another night alone, Wondering when I'm gonna ever see you again
Thinking what I would give to get you back, I should have told you how I felt 
then
Instead I kept it to myself, I let my love go unexpressed
Was it something I didn't say, When I didn't say I love you
Was it words that you never heard, all those times when I had the chance to
I took for granted that you knew, All of the love I had for you
I guess you never had a clue, All the words were in my heart
They went unspoken, Now my silent heart is a heart that's broken
I shoulda said so many things, Let you know you're the one I needed near me
But I never let you hear me.
    -98 Degrees, Was It Something I Didn't Say-
***************

Part 2


(Summary: A letter from Neil, Daniel attends a funeral, Miss Alice is 
concerned.)

    "Yoo' Nited States Maillllllllllll!" Ben Pentland shouted as he rode into 
the mission house yard. Christy met him and reached out to take the letter. 
He had taken it out of the pouch he had slung over his shoulder. "Looks like 
a letter from Doctor MacNeill." Ben smirked knowingly as he relinquished the 
letter to her. "Ah wonder how he's doing way up thar in New York City?"

    Christy's heart skipped a beat as she looked at the envelope addressed to 
her in Neil's strong, straight handwriting. He didn't forget her after all. 
She almost forgave him for going away. "Thank you, Mr. Pentland." she said 
breathlessly. She turned and ran back into the mission house, clasping the 
letter to her breast, and up into her room. She closed and locked the door. 
She was trembling. She couldn't wait to read what he had written. Anything 
was better than nothing at all. She took a hairpin from her hair and slit the 
envelope open, pinned the pin back into her hair and excitedly drew out the 
paper enclosed. It was a newspaper article about the adult education classes 
that were taking place in New York State. She stared at it not understanding. 
Christy looked into the envelope hoping she had missed a stray note, but she 
found nothing, no hastily scrawled note from Neil, nothing on the article 
itself to show that it had ever come from him. Christy was depressed, she was 
so sure he had written to say how sorry he was that he hadn't taken the time 
to say good bye to her and the children. She glanced at the article and set 
it on her bureau. Well, it showed that Doctor MacNeill had been thinking of 
her, it was thoughtful of him to remember she had a passion on the subject, 
she admitted, but... "He didn't even say good bye!" she said aloud in a 
bewildered sort of way.

    David Grantland was overseeing the funeral for little Least 'un Johnson. 
Her given name being Sarah Elizabeth. They had called her Sairy for short. 
Doctor Daniel Scott came by to pay his respects. "I'm sorry for your loss, 
Mr. Johnson." he turned to his wife, Emma , and nodded his head, "Ma'am," he 
acknowledged her.  He turned back to Sairy's father. Mr. Johnson was a 
nondescript man, brown eyes, brown shaggy hair, brown deeply tanned face, 
average height. "I'm sorry you didn't give me the chance to exam her, Mr. 
Johnson. I might have been able to save her."

    Tate Johnson glared at the dark man.  He had no right coming to his 
little 'un's funeral. "I don't need the likes o' you, telling me what to do." 
He angrily pushed Daniel out of his way. "You're not welcome here. Leave!" he 
commanded.

    "If you had only sent for me." Daniel insisted.

    Emma Johnson stared at Doctor Scott with her red rimmed eyes, her brown 
hair unkempt and stringy, neglected as her attention had been spent all for 
caring for her sick child. In a low voice, harsh from crying she said, "I 
asked him to go fer ya, Doc. He just wouldn't." She clasped her hands to her 
breast in agony. 

    Tate turned to his wife defensively. "Hesh up, Emma! I done tol' you. 
I'll not go to the likes o' him for healin'. It was God's will that he take 
our little baby gal."
    
    Emma cried. "It was our child, Tate! My baby! I can't bear it. My baby, I 
miss her so much. Why oh why did God take her away from me?"

    Daniel Scott turned to go, but twisted back to part a bitter remark at 
Tate Johnson. "So your pride and prejudice was more important than your 
daughter." He turned sadly and his eyes lingered on Mrs. Johnson, his eyes 
full of pity and compassion and then he walked away.
    
    A few days later, Miss Alice caught Christy getting ready for school. 
"Christy?" Miss Alice asked her gently. "May I have an opportunity with thee, 
child?"

    Christy had dreaded this, and fought for an excuse to get away, she 
didn't feel like speaking to anyone. She felt so miserable. "I'll be late for 
school, Miss Alice, I'm sorry." Christy turned to leave.

    "No breakfast, Christy?"

    "Um, no. I'm not very hungry, Miss Alice, but thank you for asking."

    "Christy, child, Is there something bothering thee?" Miss Alice insisted. 
"You haven't been thyself for several days now. Thee hasn't been eating or 
sleeping, for I have heard thee pacing in your room."

    "I'm fine, Miss Alice. I didn't mean to disturb you. I will be more 
considerate." Christy said. "I've got to go now."

    Miss Alice's troubled eyes  followed her out the door.

*****
    Neil was in his room at the boarding house. It was night and it was 
stifling in his room. He couldn't sleep, but it was too chilly out to open 
the window. He paced the floor, and looked out the window down into the 
streets several times. He ran his fingers through his hair, scrubbed at his 
face with his hands, and finally grabbed his pipe and lit it. As he puffed 
away, he thought about Cutter Gap. The places, the people, his home. I miss 
it, he admitted. I want to go home. I need to home. But that would mean that 
I failed. I won't go home a failure. My life doesn't revolve around her and 
as he thought that, his mind thought about Christy. The lift of her chin when 
she was riled, the flash of her eyes, the way she walked, the way she talked, 
everything about her. He missed her very much. He knocked the ashes out of 
his pipe, washed his face with the cold water from the wash basin and laid 
down but couldn't fall asleep. "I'm going out of my mind." He said aloud, but 
there was no one there to listen.

***************
Monday night I feel so low, Count the hours they go so slow
I know the sound of your voice, Can save my soul
City lights, streets of gold, Look out my window to the world below
Moves so fast and it feels so cold, And I'm all alone
Don't let me die, I'm losing my mind, Just give me a sign
And now that your gone, I just wanna be with you
And I can't go on, I wanna be with you
I can't sleep and I'm up all night, Through these tears I try to smile
I know the touch of your hand, Can save my life
Don't let me down, Come to me now, I got to be with you somehow.
    -Enrique Iglesias, Be With You-
***************

Part 3

(Summary: David and Fairlight talk with Christy. Sorry I didn't realize until 
now how short this chapter was.)

    David went to get Christy after school. She was spending too much time by 
herself. Tonight she was going to spend the evening with him. They would have 
a leisurely dinner, enjoy each other's company, maybe take a stroll in the 
dusk. It was about time that MacNeill was out of the way of his courtship 
with Christy. But it just didn't seem to be working out as much as David had 
thought it would. In fact, he found himself spending less time with Christy 
than he had when Doctor MacNeill was there. He just couldn't understand. He 
bounded up the steps 2 at a time and burst into the schoolhouse. Christy had 
been seated at her desk, her chin propped in one hand resting on the desk, 
daydreaming? he wondered. But as he came in, she quickly stood up and 
gathered up her things. "Christy." David said. "May I escort you to dinner?"

    "I'm not hungry, David." Christy brushed past him, but David grabbed her 
arm as she went past him and pulled her to a stop.

    "Then let's go for a walk, Christy."

    "I don't want to, David." she told him directly. "I just want to be by 
myself."

    "Christy." David looked down into her toubled eyes. "What's wrong? I'd 
have thought you would have jumped at the chance to spend time with me."

    "Not now, David." Christy insisted. "I'm busy."

    David let go of her arm. "Busy with what?" 

    "Grading papers, for one." she said and then went on. "I've got letters 
to write, I want to wash my hair, I've got lots of things to do and you are 
keeping me here when you know how busy I am." Christy seemed close to tears.

    "Christy, what's wrong? You know I'd do anything for you. Tell me what's 
wrong."

    "I'm fine, David. I just told you that I was busy." Christy walked out 
the schoolhouse door.

    David followed slowly, watching her, but instead of going to the 
missionhouse, she took off for the woods. David let out a sigh. Why doesn't 
she want to be with me? he wondered, puzzled and hurt. He went in to another 
lonely mealtime. It didn't matter who was there, it wasn't the same without 
Christy's company. David felt hurt and rejected. Why is she mad at me? he 
asked himself.

    Fairlight came across Christy sitting in a meadow watching the birds, the 
clouds, anything to take her mind off of the good doctor. "Lordy, Miz 
Christy!" Fairlight exclaimed to her best friend. "You got it bad!"

    Christy raised her eyes and peered at Fairlight. "What do you mean?"

    "You're a pining fer Doc MacNeill." she said quietly. "That low-down, 
no-good dirty skunk." She lowered herself to the ground next to her.

    Christy put her hand out. "No, Fairlight, that's not true and don't call 
him that, it wasn't his fault. I must of done something to make him go away."

    "Was ain't nothin' you done, Miz Christy, so set your mind at ease on 
that account." Fairlight patted Christy's hand. "Neil MacNeill has a stubborn 
streak in him, like all these mountain men round here. Just as soon argue 
with you or run off instead of coming right out and sayin' what he means."

    "And what does he mean?" Christy asked her friend.

    Fairlight smiled mischeviously. "I think you be needin' to ask Neil 
hisself about that one, girl."
    
    Christy shook her head. "No, I couldn't."

    "Wal, you shorely ain't gonna find out sittin' here on your rump doin' 
nothin' but daydreamin'."

***************
Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up late and think of you
And I wish on a star, That somewhere you are thinking of me, too.
'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight, Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be than here in my room dreaming 
about you and me.
Wonder if you ever see me and I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside, Would you even care?
    -Selena, Dreaming Of You-
***************

Part 4

(Summary: Creed's missing, Christy dreams, Jeb thinks of his family) (I 
really liked this part of Jeb.)

    "Miz Christy? Miz Alice?" It was Rob Allen calling at the mission. "Have 
you all seen Creed this evenin?" he asked as both women came into the room 
together.

    "Creed?" Miss Alice asked him. "Why no, Rob Allen. I haven't seen him all 
day."

    "Creed?" Miss Christy echoed. "Not since school let out, why?"

    "We can't find him anywheres. If'n I don't find him, I gotta do his 
chores. I'm needin' to find that rascal right bad. I'd be right obliged to 
ye, if'n you'd send him home if'n he shows up here." Rob gave them a short 
nod and ran out the door and down the stairs.

    Christy had just fallen asleep when she started dreaming. She saw 
Fairlight, in the woods behind Daniel Scott's place, pointing down by the 
creek. "What is it, Fairlight?" Christy asked in her dream. 

    "It's Creed, Miz Christy. Ya got to go to him."

    "But you're closer, Fairlight. You're Doctor Scott's nearest neighbor. 
Why do I have to go, why can't you?"

    "You are the one to find him, child. You must go now."

    Christy awoke abruptly. She did not hesitate, but got swiftly out of bed 
and dressed herself with trembling hands.

*****
    Fairlight stirred in her sleep. "It's all right." She said. "Miz Christy 
will get him."

    Jeb heard his wife talking. "Miz Christy will get who?" he asked her.

    "Creed." Fairlight answered in her sleep.

    "Creed?" Jeb jerked awake. "I didn't know he was missin'."

    Fairlight laid a comforting hand on him without opening her eyes. "Miz 
Christy's gots to find him. He's all right. Go back to sleep."

    Jeb laid back down but he couldn't sleep. He was still uncomfortable when 
Fairlight had her visions. She started calling them "dreams". But Jeb had 
been married to this beautiful lady for nigh onto 17 years. He knew his wife 
better than anyone else, perhaps even Fairlight herself. He loved her dearly 
and he knew how frightened she was whenever she had the second sight. It was 
freakish and he shivered himself, not really understanding but accepting 
because he couldn't have her without the other.  And he wouldn't have changed 
a thing. They had true love. The love that comes from knowing, a feeling. He 
loved his princess in homespun. He remembered the day when he had told her 
the about the time he'd fallen in love with her. Seeing her taking a bath 
down by the crick, and he had laughingly told her that her teeth had stuck 
out further than anything else. He smiled in the darkness, remembering how 
indignant she had become, and mad, too, with her blue eyes flinging sparks.

    He thought about his beloved babies. Of course John would scoff at being 
called a baby. He was a man now. Jeb was mighty proud of that boy and 
wondering how much longer he would have him before the music of the city 
would call him away. Maybe he could hope that John and Bessie would get 
married and settle down after all and stay on the mountain. But even as he 
thought of it, knew it would never happen and dismissed it from his mind.

    He thought next of Zady. His fine young girl. On the threshold. Not yet a 
woman, but no longer a little girl. So smart in mathematics, Miss Christy had 
told him that she just soaked up learning. So gentle one minute and full of 
fiestiness the next. She was going to make a man a fine wife one day. She was 
so much help to Fairlight around the house now as it was. She knew her 
responisibilities and although she complained sometimes, she always made sure 
her chores were done. He was glad that Zady had not shown a tendency towards 
the second sight. He was afraid that it was passed through family skipping a 
generation here or there. Well, there's always a chance that Clara or Lulu 
might have it, but he hoped not. It was hard enough to see Fairlight tortured 
with it.

    Clara was his sweet girl. Always climbing into his lap to get lovin'. She 
had declared to him that she would never be too big to sit on his lap. She 
had announced to him that she was going to marry him when she grew up. Jeb 
laughed silently. He liked pulling on her pigtails. It was like everytime he 
gave them a tug, it was like reminding her of how much he loved her. She must 
have felt the same way, for she never got mad, but would always flash a smile 
at him over her shoulder. The little girl had her mother's eyes and he loved 
her dearly for that reason alone.

    Lulu. That little Lulu. His little baby gal. She was a wild one, she was. 
 She was going to be quite a handful when she got older. He thought of her 
little trick of placing her hand on her hip and looking him right in the eye 
when asking questions. My, but she was full of questions. "Why do bees 
sting?" she had asked him. "Why is the sky blue?" "What is fire made out of?" 
Maybe she would become the first gal woman Spencer to have a career. The only 
thing he could think of besides being a housewife would be a teacher like 
Miss Christy. He wondered idly if he shouldn't speak to Miss Christy to see 
how Lulu could come about to being a teacher. Ah, that can wait, she's still 
little yet.

    His thoughts lingered on Least 'Un. They had named him Neil, after Doctor 
MacNeill. Least 'Un was so sick after he was born that  Doc MacNeill had 
spent a grand amount of time with them. He wasn't quite sure what his little 
'un would grow into. That boy was so quiet always with a thoughtful look in 
his eyes. As if he were thinking things not from this world. You didn't know 
when he was right beside you.

    He thought quickly about his two little babies in heaven. Jeter and 
little Ceclie. Jeb still hurt when he thought about them, but he knew 
Fairlight hurt more deeply and still grieved for them painfully. She could 
not forget them. Little Ceclie had just been born and then died in 
Fairlight's arms not soon after. She had been born too soon, brought on by 
Fairlight tripping on a step and falling quite heavily. Miss Alice had been 
sent for, but it was too late by the time she had gotten there. And 
Jeter...His little ray of sunshine. His baby boy had been three years old 
when he had gotten sick. Doctor MacNeill had been sent for but arrived too 
late as well. He could still hear his little baby talk and seeing him playing 
in the sunshine. My Little Sunshine Boy was how he remembered him.

    "Jeter..." Fairlight whispered in her sleep.

    Jeb stopped thinking. Dabblast it! That woman could feel his thoughts! He 
reached his arm over to hug her tight. He wondered briefly how Fairlight 
would like having another young 'un to tend to and fell asleep cuddling close.

***************
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart without saying a word, 
You can light up the dark, Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing, The touch of your hand says you'll 
catch me where ever I fall, You say it best when you say nothing at all.
    -Ronan Keating, When You Say Nothing At All-
***************

Part 5

(Summary: Creed confides in Miss Christy.) ( Another short one.)

    "I wasn't lost, Miz Christy!" Creed told her indignantly. "I know these 
woods like the back of my hand. It just got dark and I couldn't see where I 
was 'zactly." He cuddled Scalawag who was chittering at them.

    "We were so worried about you, Creed." Christy said gently. "Why did you 
stay away until it was too dark to see?"

    "They was teasin' me, teacher. Rob and Little Burl, said they's were 
goin' take Scalawag away from me. My Pa caught him sucking the chicken eggs. 
He was heapin' mad. Said if'n he didn't stop, I'd have to get rid of him. He 
didn't want no egg sucking 'coon around the place stealing food out of his 
babies mouths. I gotta teach him, Miz Christy. He'll be good. They'll see. I 
don't want them to take him away."

    Miss Christy cuddled him close. "It'll be all right, Creed, we'll think 
of something."

    "Please don't tell anyone I was scared, teacher."

    "I won't." They were both quiet for a moment and they could hear the 
lonely cooing of a mourning dove and Christy shivered. It made an eerie sound 
in the darkness. They could hear other sounds too, the running of the water 
in the creek, the bullfrogs, crickets, the snap of a twig as some animal, 
whether it be a possum or a raccoon, stepped on it while routing for bugs and 
such for it's dinner. The moon was big and bright and the shadows were large 
and scary.

    "Teacher?" Creed went on. "Can I ask you a question?"

    Christy nodded.

    "Promise you won't be mad?"

    "I never get mad at you, Creed." Christy started and then laughed. "All 
right...I promise."

    "I done noticed that ever since Doc MacNeill left that you're not the 
same anymore."

    "What do you mean?"

    "You've gotten pretty peaked, teacher, if'n you don't mind me sayin' so. 
You never laugh anymore. You don't make learnin' fun now. You miss him 
somethin' fierce, Don't 'cha?

    "Why, Creed, what makes you say something like that?"

    "'Cause I miss him, too. Reckon he'll come back? I reckon you're right 
sweet on the Doc. I got eyes, I can see. I know. And I reckon the Doc's sweet 
on you, too."

    "And how did you come to that conclusion, Mr. Allen?"

    "Why it's in his face, Miz Christy. I don't know how to 'splain. Just 
that his face brightens up whenever he sees you, his eyes get all crinkly and 
he watches you all the time. Ain't 'cha ever noticed?"

    "CREED!"

    "Wal, he does, and you promised not to get mad. 'Course, I wouldn't say 
anythin' to anyone else. It'll be our secret, Miz Christy. Put it thar." He 
spit in his hand and offered it to her.

    Christy wrinkled her nose. How unsanitary, she thought. But she spit in 
her hand as well and grasped his hand and shook it firmly. 

    "You won't let them do anything to Scalawag, will you? He's my bestest 
pal in the whole wide world." Creed hugged his pet to him.

    Miss Christy stood up and held out a hand to Creed. "Come on, Creed. 
Doctor Scott's cabin is here somewhere, let's go there and warm up."

    Creed grabbed her hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet. Christy 
put her arm about the boy and they went in search of the Doctor's cabin.

***************
But when your eyes say it, That's when I know that it's true
I feel it, I feel the love coming through, I know it
I know that you truly care for me, 'Cause it's there to see
When your eyes tell me, I know they're not tellin' lies
They tell me, All that you're feelin' inside
And it sounds so right, When your eyes say it.
    -Britney Spears, When Your Eyes Say It-
***************

Part 6

(Summary: Neil's night off, Daniel escorts Christy and Creed home after a 
visit.)

    Neil was thinking of going out after all. It would take his mind off 
of...things. He had been introduced to Layla by one of the doctor's on staff 
at the hopital. Seems she was his sister. He thought of her dark and sultry 
looks and he felt intrigued, especially since she had taken him aside and 
told him to pick her up at 8:00 the next evening, there was a party she 
wanted to take him to, or as she put it, she wanted him to escort her.

    Neil adjusted the tie and brushed at his one and only good suit. It was 
beginning to look a little threadbare, but it would have to do. He just 
couldn't afford to part with a bit of his salary to outfit him with a new 
suit. Maybe later on, if he planned to make a habit out of this. He looked in 
the little looking glass he had and gave his hair a pat and ordered it to 
stay in place. He had tried to spat it down with water and comb, but it had a 
life of it's own, finally he just left it alone.

    As Neil walked along the cobblestone streets, with his hands in his 
pockets, he found that instead of taking his mind off Cutter Gap, he thought 
about it all the more. He was now thinking that 8:00 was pretty late for a 
party, he would be turning in about now back in his cabin in the mountains. 
How his life had changed since coming to New York City. Neil suddenly 
stopped. I can't do this! he told himself. What I am thinking? He had an 
unconscience thought that he had to stay true to Christy. But she doesn't 
care about me. So then why did Neil MacNeill turn around and walk slowly back 
to his lonely room, wishing... wishing... that SHE were here with him now. He 
gave a little sigh.
 
*****
    They could see the glow of the fireplace through the window as they 
knocked on the door. "Coming!" Daniel Scott called as they heard him fumbling 
to the door. The light from the fireplace showed him who was at his door when 
he opened it. "Miz Christy? Creed?" Daniel opened the door wider and motioned 
for them to come into his house. "Is anything wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked 
worriedly.

    "We're fine, Daniel." Christy assured him. "Just cold and in need of a 
fire."

    Daniel ushered them close to the fire. He drew a chair up for Miss 
Christy and pulled some blankets from his bed, still warm from his bodyheat 
and wrapped one around Creed and Scalawag and handed one to Christy. He 
grabbed a pot that was hanging above the fire, far enough so that the 
contents would not burn, but near enough to keep warm. He poured it into two 
cups and handed them to Creed and Christy.

    "Sorry to bother you, Daniel." Christy told him apologetically. She 
pointed to Daniel's bed, but he brushed it off with a wave of his hand. 
"Creed was worried about Scalawag and then stayed out too long. It got dark 
and he couldn't find his way home. Yours was the nearest cabin. I hope you 
don't mind."    

    "Of course not, Miz Christy. I'm pleased that you thought enough of me to 
come."

    After some urging from Doctor Scott, Creed told him the story that made 
him run off. He ended with, "Can ya holp me, Doc? Do ya know how to stop 
Scalawag from doin' what he's done?"

    Daniel thought and then spoke seriously. "Creed, I've never had a pet 
raccoon. I'm not sure how we can get him to stop." Daniel fingered his chin 
and then scratched his head. "How about if we shut him up into a box with a 
couple of rotten eggs. He might get so sick of the smell that he might not go 
near an egg in a long while."

    Creed looked doubtful, but his eyes lit up as he came to see that Doctor 
Scott truly wanted to help. Creed nodded reluctantly. He knew he was doing it 
as much for Doctor Scott as for himself, and of course Scalawag, he thought 
quickly. He had eyes, he could see that people weren't taking kindly to 
Doctor Scott, him being a different color and all. But Creed had grown in 
soul as well as in the physical sense, since making the accquaintance of  Mr. 
Billy Long, who was a half breed Cherokee Indian. He prided himself in seeing 
that tolerance in himself and vowed never to treat anyone differently because 
of the color of his skin or the race a person belong to.

    "Of course, I don't have any rotten eggs here right now." Daniel smiled 
at Creed. "But if you find some you can do the experiment here. I have a box 
that I think would do."

    Creed nodded and then asked hesitantly. "Do ya think Scalawag can stay 
here with ya, Doc? I don't dare take him home, I'm not sure what they'll do 
to him. Can I, Doc?"

    Daniel looked pleased. "Do you think he will stay with me?"

    "Shorely. I just have to 'splain to him is all." Creed spit on his hand 
and offered it to Doctor Scott. "Put 'er there, Doc!"

    Daniel look at Christy with a raised eyebrow and when Christy shrugged 
and grinned slightly, he grabbed Creed by the hand and shook it firmly.

    "Ya gotta spit on it first, Doc!" Creed let go and then shook hands 
agreeably after Daniel Scott spit on his hand and offered it again.

    Daniel smiled and glanced at Christy. His eyes lingered on her for a 
moment. "Miz Christy, if you don't mind me saying so, but you don't look so 
well."

    "Not you, too?" Christy groaned. "I'm fine, Doctor, really I am!" she 
insisted.

    Daniel gave her a look that said he didn't believe a word she was saying.

    Christy stood up reluctantly, "I'd better get Creed home, his parents are 
probably worried sick."

    Daniel grabbed a lantern and lighted it. "I'll go with you."

    "No, that's all right, we interrupted your night enough already. What if 
someone calls for you?"

    "No one is going to call on me, Miz Christy." Daniel said sadly. "You 
know that as well as I do. I want to go with you. In fact, I insist!"

    "Well, all right, Mr. Scott." Christy gave in. 
    
    They met Bob Allen on the way home. "Where ya been, boy?" he asked 
angrily.

    "Hi, Pa!" Creed answered.

    "Where ya been?" Mr. Allen asked again.

    "Out." Creed replied shortly.

    Bob nodded his thanks to Miss Christy and Doctor Scott. "I've been out 
all night, lookin' fer you. Come on!" he grabbed Creed by the arm. "You're 
comin' home now, boy!" he turned to Christy and Daniel again. "Mighty obliged 
to you for bringin' my boy home, I hope he didn't bother you none."

    Christy assured him. "No, Mr. Allen, Creed's been no bother at all." She 
smiled at the boy standing by his father.

    "Well, come along then." Bob Allen and Creed walked out of the lantern 
light. "And where's that dirty little animal of yours?"

    "He ain't dirty!" they heard Creed declare. "Coon's be the cleanest 
animals, and he's hiding so no one will hurt 'im."

    "I wasn't aiming on hurtin' him." Bob said exasperatingly. "But we's got 
to learn him a lesson, son."

    "Come on, Miz Christy, I'll take you home as well." Mr. Scott told her.

    Christy knew better than to argue,  "Thank you, Daniel." was all she said.

    "Miz Christy." Daniel said hesitatingly. "Really, you don't look well. If 
you don't take care of yourself, you won't be any good to the children. Do 
you understand me?"

    "I'm fine." Christy felt like that was all she ever said anymore. 
"Really, Daniel, I'm fine."

    "You've got a lot of good friends here, Christy. I know that if you ever 
need to talk about anything that is bothering you, any one of them would 
listen, as I would as well."

    "I know, thank you, Daniel." and then under her breath she added. 
"Everyone except for the most important one."

***************
And do you know when I'm alone, I always pretend that we
Are more than friends, When I lay awake in the dark
How I'm wishing I could share the secrets of my heart.
You're there, everywhere I go, In every face I see, a longest winding road
Endlessly, I am so lost in love, I wish that you could know
I hear your voice goin' round in my head, No matter who's talking to me
I hear you instead. I can't hide it from myself, How can I hide it from you?
    -Jennifer Love Hewitt, Everywhere I Go-
***************

Part 7

(Summary: Neil decides it's time to go home, Christy is ill.)

    "Doctor MacNeill!" The voice broke into Neil's thoughts firmly.

    Neil glanced up to see Doctor Ferguson standing before him. "You were 
miles away, Doctor." he exclaimed. "I've called you three times already."

    Neil scrubbed at his face. "I apologize." he said. "I guess my mind 
wasn't on ma studies."

    Doug smiled. "I see that, Neil. Anything you want to share?"

    Neil sighed. "Just homesick, I guess." he said finally.

    "That's been happening quite a lot. Hasn't it, Doc?"

    "Aye, it has." Neil admitted.

    "Perhaps..." Ferguson trailed off.

    "I've been giving this a lot of thought, Doug." Neil said reluctantly. 
"I'm giving ma resignation."

    "Why?" Doug asked. "You're doing fine work here, Mac."

    "I just can't concentrate. There are a few unresolved matters I need to 
attend to back in Cutter Gap. I shouldn't have left things the way I did."

    "Well, resolve them and come right back." Doug urged. "I'll not accept 
your resignation, I want you on my staff. I'll give you two weeks. Is that 
enough?"

    Neil looked at him regretfully. "Even if I resolve them, I won't be 
coming back." he said quietly. "Cutter Gap is ma home, I miss it. I miss the 
people, I miss ma work. I've got to go back." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, 
Doug, I've got to go."

    Neil rushed back to his room down the street from the hospital at the 
boarding house. He packed his bags and hurried to the door. He laid his 
month's rent on the table by the door with a note to Mrs. Hamilton that he 
was leaving and she could let his room to someone else. He saw a letter on 
the table addressed to him. He recognized Miss Alice's handwriting. He 
scooped it up and ran out the door hoping to catch the train in time.

    Neil settled back into his seat and drew a sigh of relief. He had made 
it. He was going home. For better or worse, he was going home.  He drew Miss 
Alice's letter out of his breast pocket and opened it. It was very short and 
to the point. 'Neil,' it read. 'Christy is ill, please come home. She needs 
you. We need you.' Doctor MacNeill crumpled the letter in his hand. "You 
stupid, stubborn Scot!" he berated himself. "You let her down. You let them 
all down." He bowed his head and wished the train would go faster. He kept 
hearing Christy say "You're a stupid, stubborn Scot!" the same way she had on 
the day she had pleaded with him to accept Daniel Scott into his practice. 
Well, she had accomplished that. Neil had indeed ended up taking Daniel under 
his tuteluge.  But those words kept playing around, around in his head. Would 
that be the last memory he would ever have of her? No, he vowed. Not if he 
could help it.

***************
I know I was wrong for treating you the way I did
I have so much on my mind I didn't know where you fit in
And if I could do it all over again, I'll never treat you that way again
I apologize for the pain that I caused and I just wanna say
I'm sorry, so sorry, for treating you the way I did
I'm sorry, so sorry, for leaving you the way I did
When I close my eyes, I think of how it used to be
That's when I realized just how much you mean to me
A second chance is all that I need, to change what's wrong and make it right
A fool I was to let you slip away, when I know I need you in my life
    -All 4 One, I'm Sorry-
****************

Part 8

(Summary: Neil goes to Christy...)

    Neil stepped off the train and drew his coat closer around him. It wasn't 
as warm here in El Pano as it had been in New York City. Neil had almost 
forgotten. But now the only thought was to get home and get to Christy. He 
saw Ben Pentland crossing the street and go into the Blacksmith shop and Neil 
followed him.

    "Howdy there, Doc." Ben greeted him warmly. "You back visitin'?"

    "No." Doctor MacNeill said shortly. "Back to stay. Can I borrow your 
horse? There's sickness at the mission."

    "Why shorely, Doc." he pointed to the horse he usually rode while 
delivering mail. He helped Doctor MacNeill saddle and bridle the horse. 
"Who's sick?" he went on.

    "I understand that Miss Huddleston is very ill." Doctor MacNeill said 
gravely.

    "Wal, now that 'cha mention it, Miz Christy looked plumb tuckered out the 
last time I seen 'er." Ben let loose with a stream of tobacco spit, wiped his 
mouth with his sleeve and turned back to the doctor. "What do ya reckon she 
got? Do ya think it's catchin'?"

    Neil grabbed the reins and backed the horse out of his stall. "Don't 
know, I got to go, Ben. I appreciate you letting me take your horse."

    "Not to mention it, Doc. I'll pick 'im up the next time I's come to 
deliver the mail."

    "Obliged." Neil said shortly and climbing up onto the horse, he gave him 
a quick kick that sent him flying down the path towards Cutter Gap, to the 
mission house, to Christy.

*****
    "Where is she?" Doctor MacNeill demanded of Miss Alice when he finally 
arrived at the mission.

    "I don't know." Alice said blankly. She pointed to the forest. "Out there 
somewhere."

    "You mean you don't know where she is?" Neil asked angrily. "I thought 
you said she was very ill?"

    "I did, Neil," Alice said quietly. "When thee sees her, thee will know."

    Neil angrily yanked on the reins and headed for the woods. "If you've 
sent me on a wild goose chase..." he trailed off menacingly. But Neil was 
worried. If I was Christy, where would I go? he asked himself. "God's Fist!" 
he shouted as he spurred the horse forward.

    Neil dismounted and walked the rest of the way to God's Fist. Now his 
first instinct didn't seem so right after all. He stepped out onto the rock 
at the edge of the precipice and breathed in the fresh mountain air. He 
looked around and saw her, sitting with her back against a tree, her knees 
drawn up and her head resting on her knees. "Christy!" Christy raised her 
head and looked at him as if in a dream. Doctor MacNeill drew in his breath. 
He couldn't believe the change in her. She was so thin, so pale, she had dark 
smudges under her eyes. He rushed to her side. "Christy, are you all right?"

    "I'm fine, doctor." she said automatically and she laid her head back 
down.

    Neil reached out for her, her arms were like ice. He stripped off his 
warm jacket and draped it around her. "Come, Christy, I'll take you back." 
But Christy didn't move. "Christy!" Neil spoke a little more urgently. He 
grabbed her arms and shook her gently, she didn't respond. He scooped her up 
in his arms, jacket and all and ran to the horse that had brought him there. 
She was so light, Neil thought to himself. He suddenly felt very protective 
of her. He grabbed the reins and while still holding Christy, he let the 
horse follow him back to the mission.

*****
    Doctor MacNeill had settled Christy in her own bed at the mission. He was 
worried about her.

    "Doctor MacNeill?" Christy called. "Where are you?"

    Neil bent over her and held her hand. "I'm right here, Christy." he told 
her soothingly.

    "Doctor MacNeill?" Christy called again. "Where are you?"

    Neil tried again. "I'm right here, Christy. I'm right here beside you. 
I'm not going anywhere."

    "He left me." Christy was saying, "He didn't even say good bye."

    Neil's heart skipped a beat, and he gasped at the suddeness of the pain 
in his chest. It felt as if someone had taken a hold of his heart and 
squeezed it until he had no breath. He lowered himself into the chair by 
Christy's bed and took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

    "He didn't even say good bye." she repeated sadly, forlornly. Christy's 
breath became weak and shallow. Her eyes closed. Neil bent over her, one hand 
on her forehead, the other clasping onto her hand as if trying to squeeze the 
will to live back into her. He jumped up. "ALICE...." He bellowed.

***************
Darkness hangs overhead, Close to the point where angels fear to tread
I close my eyes and think of you instead, And pray you'll be here soon
Sometimes it feels like this whole world's against me, And every beaten path
Is just another winding road that tempts me far from you
And all that's true, I've got to find my way again.
    -Tim McGraw, A Place In The Sun-
***************

Part 9

    Christy found herself in a wonderful place. So sunny and peaceful, 
tranquil and breathtaking. The green trees, the flowers so colorful, perfect, 
and the beautiful deep blue sky. She could smell the perfume of the flowers, 
she bent down and felt the green grass. It was so vibrant and lush and felt 
oh so soft. Christy glanced around her, and felt an urge to run and play. She 
laughed and ran, holding out her arms to the radiance of the sunshine. It 
felt so good. The warmth and the love. All of a sudden, Christy felt someone 
behind her, she turned and saw Fairlight. She was coming near and holding out 
her hands. "Miz Christy! Miz Christy!" Fairlight seemed upset about something.

    "Oh Fairlight!" Christy called. "What's wrong?"

    "Christy, you don't belong here, It's not your time, Miz Christy." 
Fairlight beckoned to her. "Come on, Come back with me."

    "I don't want to go back, Fairlight, I want to stay here, stay here with 
me." Christy coaxed her.

    "Miz Christy, Doctor MacNeill needs you, come on."

    "Doctor MacNeill?" Christy asked, "Where is he?

    "Come with me." Fairlight reached out her hands, Christy came a step 
closer, arms raising, hands reaching for hands. Fingertips touched 
fingertips...

*****
    Fairlight awoke with a gasp, she found herself sitting up in bed with her 
arms outstretched, palms upward. Jeb woke with a jolt beside her and sat up 
as well.

    "Fairlight?" he asked "Are you all right?" he put his arm around her and 
pulled her closer to him.

    Fairlight dropped her hands. "I was having a dream." As if saying it was 
a dream would make it come true. "I saw Miz Christy. She's very sick, Jeb."

    "How do you know?" he asked.

    "I saw her, I was with her."

    "It's all right." Jeb comforted her. "It was only a dream."

    Fairlight nodded. "Yes, it is all right, I brought Miz Christy back with 
me."

    Jeb was silent for a moment and then asked. "Brought her back from where?"

    "From There." she said significantly. "It's all right, she's with Doctor 
MacNeill now." She laid back down.

    Jeb laid down next to her, his arm still around her. "How do you know?"

    Fairlight patted his hand. "I don't know how, I just do." 

    "Mama?" It was Zady, standing by the side of the bed. "Are you all right, 
mama?"

    "Yes, baby." Fairlight reached out a hand to touch Zady comfortingly. 
"I'm sorry I woke you, honey."

    "You were callin' fer Miz Christy."
    
    "I'm fine, child, off to bed with you now."

    "Yes, mama."

    Fairlight closed her eyes and willed herself back to sleep. She had done 
her job, the rest was up to Neil.

*****
    Christy's color returned and her breathing became easier. Neil lowered 
himself into the chair once again. He drew a sigh of relief and felt quick 
tears sting his eyes. He started to shake. He was used to stitching wounds, 
probing for bullets, and setting broken bones.

    "Neil?" Alice placed a hand on his shoulder, she could feel him shaking. 
"Are thee all right?'

    Neil cleared his throat and rubbed his hand across his eyes, wiping his 
eyes dry. "I'm fine, Alice." he reassured her. He looked at Christy lying 
small and thin in the bed before him. "I'm not sure what brought her back, I 
can only think and wonder that maybe the Almighty had a hand in this one 
after all." Neil looked dazed. "She's suffering from exhaustion and poor 
nutrition." He turned accusingly to Alice. "What's a matter with you. 
Couldn't you see that she was ill, why didn't you send for me sooner." He 
turned back to Christy. "Oh, what have I done?" he asked helplessly. "Why did 
I go away?"

    "It was thy decision to leave Cutter Gap, Neil. You turned your back on 
us." Alice told him stern and low. "Thee has only thyself to blame." Alice 
walked stiffly to the door and went out.

    Neil's eyes followed her out. They were full of misery and hurt. "Aye." 
he said just as quietly. "That I do." Neil lowered himself beside the bed 
onto his knees, he folded his hands and looked up at the ceiling. "Well, God, 
if you can hear me. I'm not a praying man, that you know only too well. But 
Miss Huddleston here, believes in you and if there's anything..." He broke 
off hearing a sound behind him. He whirled around and saw David Grantland 
standing there. "Reverand." he acknowledged feeling foolish.

    David walked over to Christy's bedside and laying a hand onto the 
doctor's shoulder asked, "Is this spot taken, doctor? May I join you?" Neil 
was jolted into remembering when it was he who had said those same exact 
words to Christy at Miss Ida's wedding.  He could hear himself asking her if 
the spot beside her was taken and the elation he felt when she had responded, 
'No, you're just in time.'  David kneeled beside the doctor and clasped his 
hands in prayer as well. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overhear, perhaps I can 
be your instrument in speaking to God."

    Neil grinned at his comrade-in-sorrow. "You're a better man than I am, 
Grantland. I'll just let you talk to him, you know what I want to say, I'm 
sure you can say it so much better than I." Neil closed his eyes and remained 
kneeling.

    The preacher looked at Neil, he knew exactly how the doctor was feeling, 
for wasn't he feeling the same way? God must spare Christy's life. He 
MUST...! David cleared his throat. "Dear Lord Almighty, we ask that you look 
upon Christy in her time of need. She needs your strength and love now more 
than ever. We ask that you spare her life. Everyone needs and loves her so 
that we cannot do without her. She has become a very special part of our 
lives here in Cutter Gap. She is always there to share your word to a fellow 
human being. Sharing your love and guidance as she was taught, and as she 
does to others as you would have them also do." David felt a hand on his 
shoulder and saw another hand laying on Neil's as well. As one they both 
turned to look over their shoulders to see Miss Alice standing there, sharing 
in on their little prayer of strength and need. Alice beamed at Neil. She was 
speechless and deliriously happy. Now if only Christy would get well. She 
squeezed David's shoulder and nodded for him to continue. David glanced at 
MacNeill and grinned before he turned back to his heartfelt prayer.

***************
For all those times you stood by me, For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life, For all the wrongs that you made right
You were my strength when I was weak, You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see, You saw the best there was in me
You gave me faith 'cause you believed, I'm everything I am because you loved 
me
You gave me wings and made me fly, You touched my hand, I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, You gave it back to me, You said no star was out of reach.
    -Celine Dion, Because You Loved Me-
***************


Part 10

(Summary: Christy awakens, Dan takes Scalawag to Creed.)

    Christy's eyes fluttered open. She saw Doctor MacNeill and Miss Alice 
leaning over her. She blinked several times and asked confusedly, "Where am 
I?"

    "Lie still, Christy." Doctor MacNeill said in his best professional 
manner. He began to examine her, listening to her heart and her breathing, 
looking into her eyes, feeling her pulse.

    "Welcome back, Miss Huddleston!" Miss Alice smiled and clasped her hand 
tight. "Thee gave us quite a scare, young lady."

    "Where am I? What's happened? Where did I go?" Christy looked from the 
doctor to Miss Alice and back again.

    Neil stopped her with his finger on her lips. "Shhhhh, we'll speak of 
this later, try to get some sleep"

    "I am tired." Christy's eyes closed immediately.

    Neil remembered Christy's call for him when she was ill. Do I mean that 
much to her? he asked himself. Does she really care for me like that? Oh, how 
I wish I could tell her how I feel. I should have said good bye. I should 
have told her how I felt. I shouldn't have gone away. I shouldn't have done a 
lot of things. Well, what's done is done, I have to live with it and go on, 
because I can't go back and fix it. I can't fix anything.
    
*****
    Daniel Scott walked up the road to the Allen's place. He carried a pet 
raccoon on his arm. Creed saw him and came tearing up the lane to reach out 
for Scalawag. "Is he okay? Doc?" Creed wanted to know.

    "He's fine, he's fine, Creed." Daniel assured him. "He just missed you 
and all, so I thought I'd bring him home."

    "NO!" Creed looked around wildly for his father. "Ya gotta take him back. 
He ain't safe around here."

    "It's okay." Daniel told him smugly. "He won't touch no more eggs."

    "How do you know? Did you do the experiment?" Creed's eyes were wide with 
wonder.

    Daniel chuckled. "Yep, and he didn't like it one bit. He was covered with 
that rotten egg, I had to help him wash it off."

    Creed handed Scalawag back to Daniel. "I'll be right back." he ran to the 
chicken coop and dug out an egg, he ran back to Scalawag and held the egg out 
to his friend. 

    Scalaway didn't like it one bit. He ran up Daniel's arm, around his neck 
and sat on the shoulder furthest from Creed and the egg he held. Scalawag 
sneezed and then sat up pawing at his little black nose which was twitching.

    The doctor and the boy looked at each other and laughed. As one they spit 
on their hands and held them out to each other to shake. "Put it thar!"

*****
    Christy's eyes fluttered open again and this time she saw David sitting 
beside her. He smiled at her and jumped to his feet. "Welcome back, Christy." 
he told her warmly. "How are you feeling?"

    "Hungry!" she laughed.

    "Only broth for right now. Doctor's orders."

    "Doctor's orders?" She asked hesitantly. "Whose orders?"

    "MacNeill's." David said shortly and went to the door.

    "Neil?" Christy sat up in bed. "He's here?"

    "Yes, Christy." David said quietly. "Doctor MacNeill is back." He went 
out the door and down the stairs.

    Christy's heart skipped a beat and then she was angry, remembering how 
Doctor MacNeill had left without saying good bye, as if she didn't mean a 
thing. As if I was unimportant. Her eyes drifted idly over the room and saw 
some flowers on her beside. How sweet, was her next reaction.

    David came back into the room with a bowl of broth. "Would you like me to 
feed you?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

    Christy fluffed up her pillow and leaned against them. "I can do it 
myself, David. But thank you anyway." She took the bowl from him and spelled 
the wonderful aroma. "The flowers are beautiful, David."

    The preacher gave a start and his eyes darted towards the object of 
discussion. "Yes, they are beautiful, Christy, but not as beautiful as you!"

    "David, how are the children?"

    "They're fine, Christy, I've been teaching, so don't worry yourself about 
that. But they are worried about you. Why, Creed's been asking for you every 
spare minute we have."

***************
Everytime you're near baby, I get kinda crazy
In my head for you, I don't know what to do
And oh baby, I get kinda shaky
when they mention you, I just lose my cool
My friends tell me, Somethin' has come over me
And I think I know what it is, I think I'm in love
    -Jessica Simpson, I Think I'm In Love With You-
***************


Part 11

(Summary: Jeb visits the mission, Becky and Mountie "visit" Miss Christy, 
Neil finally explains.)

    Jeb knocked at the missionhouse door, and stepped hesitatingly into the 
room after hearing no answer. He grabbed his hat off of his head and stood 
uncertainly. Doctor MacNeill was just coming out of the kitchen, he had a 
bowl of soup, he had been taking it up to Christy's room. "Jeb!" he 
explained. "It's good to see you."

    "Mightly glad to see you back, Doc." Jeb told him. "How is Miz Christy?"

    "She's doing much better, Jeb. Doctor Scott has been by to watch her if I 
get called out. Everyone has been taking turns. Miss Alice, the Reverand, and 
Fairlight's been by as well, but you should know that."
    
    "Yeah, I know, just wanted you to know how glad I was to find out that 
you done got our letter." Jeb Spencer gloated.

    "And what letter would that be, Jeb?" Neil asked him.

    "Oh well, it don't matter none a'tall, seein' as your here now." Jeb 
turned to the door and raised his hand in leaving.
        
    Neil continued up the stairs.

*****
    The next day, Neil heard a knock at the mission house door. He opened it 
and saw Mountie and Becky O'Teale standing there. Neil bent down to their eye 
level. "Hello ladies, Anything I can do for you?"

    Becky giggled while Mountie brought a small bouquet of flowers from 
behind her back and thrust them at the Doctor. "Can we give these here 
flowers to Miz Christy?" Becky went on.

    The doctor's eyes fell, "No, I'm sorry. No visitors. But I know that Miss 
Christy would love to see you. How about if I open her balcony doors and you 
can say hi to her, would that be all right?"

    "Yes sir." Becky answered for both of them and she dragged Mountie with 
her as they ran around to where Miss Christy's windows were far above and 
looked up.

    Neil entered Christy's room and laid the flowers in her hands. "From 
Mountie and Becky." he told her.

    "Oh, how I miss them!" Christy exclaimed. "When can I get out of bed?"

    "When you have fully recovered your strength, Miss Huddleston." he went 
to the balcony doors and opened them wide. "It's a surprise!" he whispered.

    Becky saw Doctor MacNeill on the balcony and he waved to them. "Teacher?" 
she called. "We're missing you. We hope you are feeling better. We can't wait 
to see you."

    Christy's eyes brightened. "Hi Becky! Hi Mountie!" she called as loud as 
she could. "I miss you, too."

    "I love you, Teacher!" Mountie called.

    "I love you, too, Mountie." Christy had tears in her eyes, remembering 
Mountie as she had been when she first arrived here in Cutter Gap. Mountie 
couldn't or wouldn't talk before Christy came. If Christy had made a 
difference with any of the children in Cutter Gap, Mountie was the one. She 
knew that it was her efforts that had made Mountie the way she was today, and 
she smiled sweetly.

    "Okay, that's enough for now." Doctor told the girls and waved to them.

    "Thanky, Doc!" Becky called before he closed the balcony doors.
    
    "Thanky, Doc." Christy echoed lightly. That seemed to have taken a lot 
out of her and she was tired again. She laid down and closed her eyes. 
"Neil?" she asked.

    "Christy?" Neil asked at the same time.

    "Why...?" Christy began.

    "I know what you are going to ask, Lass." Neil interrupted her. "I'll try 
to explain. I don't rightly know why myself." He ran his fingers through his 
unruly hair and paced the room. Then he looked down into Christy's face. Her 
eyes were closed, but he knew she was listening and it was easier to explain 
if she wasn't looking directly at him. His arm dropped and he scratched the 
hair on the back of his neck. Now how was he going to explain? He wondered 
wildly. What do I say to her? "Christy, you know that I care for you." 
Christy's eyes flew open wide at this declaration. She'd have a few things to 
say about that! He held up his hand to forestall any words bursting out of 
her mouth. "Stop!" he told her sternly. "I'm talking and I don't want any 
interruptions, do you hear me?" he waited for her reluctant nod and waited 
for her to close her eyes again.

    "I'm truly sorry for the way I've been treating you, Christy." Doctor 
MacNeill went on. "I know the Reverand cares for you too, but I want to know 
who you care about. Since you wouldn't or couldn't seem to make up your mind, 
I was ready to try to make your mind up for you. If I wasn't here to get into 
the middle of you and Grantland, if it was meant to be, well then...I guess I 
would have to accept that. I'm not getting any younger, Christy. If there was 
no hope for me, I needed to know, so I could get on with ma life, ma work, ma 
studies. But if the saying is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, 
then I would know, wouldn't I?" Neil chuckled knowing that Christy was on the 
mend. "I got my answer, didn't I, Christy?" he asked gently. "Christy?" But 
Christy was fast asleep. The doctor watched her face for few minutes longer, 
she was smiling in her sleep. He chuckled again and quietly left the room. He 
needed some fresh air.
    
    Neil was on the front porch relaxing when he saw Ben Pentland trudging up 
the road. Ben handed Neil a letter. "I'm right glad to meet 'cha here at the 
mission, Doc." he told him. "I shorely didn't look forward to trapiesing over 
to your place to deliver your mail. I hope Miss Huddleston is doin' some 
better."

    "Thank you, Ben. Yes, she is recovering nicely. Your horse is in the barn 
there." Neil took the letter in his hand and looked at it. It was from St. 
Augustine's. He ripped open the envelope only to find another envelope tucked 
inside. There was a note enclosed from Doug. 'Mac,' he read. 'This letter 
came for you after you left, thought I'd better forward it to you. I hope you 
are fine and have settled that problem you were so worried about. Was it 
worth going back? Please know that you still have a place here and you will 
always be welcomed back at St. Augustine's any time you change your mind. 
Repectfully,' and his full title, 'Douglas Arthur Ferguson, M.D. '

    Neil looked closely at the letter which had accompanied the note. He 
ripped that one open as well and read. 'Dear Doctor MacNeill, I think you 
would want to be here. Miss Christy is powerful ill, although she don't seem 
to see if for herself. She seems to be a pining away to nothing. You come on 
back to Cutter Gap, Doc. She needs you.' and it was signed  'Jeb and 
Fairlight Spencer.' And then down below as if added afterwards, 'We care 
about Miss Christy and we care about you, too, Neil. You and Miss Christy 
belong together, you are miserable apart. Come Home. Fairlight.' 

    Neil sighed and folded up both letters and put them into his breast 
pocket. He was touched that everyone thought so well of Christy. The mountain 
folks sure were protective. Some people were still distrustful of the young 
school teacher, but so many more were supportive and caring of her. Neil was 
proud of his people. But of course, Jeb and Fairlight Spencer were a cut 
above the rest, but they were not proud and prone to airs. They were as poor 
as any of the mountain people but they were truly in love and it showed. 

    Christy was awake when Neil entered her room. "And now I get to have my 
say." she told him.
    
    Neil shrugged his shoulders and sat down, he knew he was in for it. "I'm 
listening."

    Christy let out an angry breath. She hadn't been prepared for Neil to 
actually listen to her. "Well..." she began. "When you left without saying 
good bye, I couldn't figure out why. I thought of everything from you being 
mad at me, to you not caring about me. I couldn't understand that if I had 
made you mad or angry why you wouldn't come and talk to me about. Then I 
figured it was probably because you didn't think I that important after all. 
I thought we were good friends? And good friends tell each other everything."

    "Christy..." Neil began.

    But Christy held up her hand the same way Neil had done to her before, 
stopping him from saying anything. "I listened to you, Doctor."

    Neil smiled. "Ah, but did you really, Christy? How much did you actually 
hear?"

    "I heard everything, Doctor." Christy said loftily.

    Neil's smile deepened. "Ah, then... prove it!" 

    Christy looked demure. "I choose you, Doctor Neil MacNeill! But I thought 
you had that figured out already."

    "Aye!" Neil's smile changed to a laugh. "I had."

***************
Everytime our eyes meet this feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take, Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything, I can hear
your thoughts, I can see your dreams.
I don't know how you do what you do, I'm so in love with you,
it just keeps getting better, I wanna spend the rest of my life
with you by my side forever and ever, Every little thing 
that you do, Baby I'm amazed by you.
    -Lonestar, Amazed-
***************

Part 12

(Summary: Christy returns to school, Neil teases, Christy finds out who has 
been leaving her flowers....or does she?)

    It was Christy's first day back at school. She entered the building. The 
stove had already been started and the room was toasty warm. She looked 
lovingly around her school room. How she missed it. Not only when she was 
sick but even before that when she wasn't herself. How could she have let 
herself become what she had. She was ashamned. She felt that she had let 
everyone down. She walked up the aisle to her desk and there she saw the 
flowers. Welcome back, they seemed to say. Christy took a deep breath. It was 
so good to be back here where she belonged. 

    Later that day after the children had left, Christy was seated at her 
desk. Neil was leaning up against the open doorframe watching the sunset. 
Neil glanced at Christy and saw her smile to herself.

    "What are you thinking of, Christy?" he asked her quietly.

    "Nothing, Doctor." she answered quickly.

    "Come on, lass!" Neil coaxed. "Tell me what you were thinking about?"

    "Nothing, Doctor!" Christy insisted.

    "The truth." Neil went on. "Miss Huddleston, there's no point in being so 
secretive. Tell me, and don't give me any of  that 'thinking of the 
children,' cause I won't believe it."

    "All right, Doctor." Christy was starting to get annoyed. "I will tell 
you exactly what I was thinking."

    "Well then, go ahead."

    Christy blushed and got flustered. "I um...I er...well doctor, if you 
must know, I was thinking of you."

    "I know you were, Christy." Neil rubbed it in. "And just what was it that 
you were thinking?"

    Christy sighed. She'd never live this down. She took a deep breath and 
blurted out, "I was just thinking about how it would feel to hug you." 
Christy lowered her eyes so she didn't have to see his reaction.

    Neil laughed. "There that wasn't so hard was it?" He pushed himself away 
from the door. "Well, I have to be going, Miss Huddleston." And with not so 
much as good bye, ran down the school house steps.

    "Well, I never!" Christy exploded. She bounded to her feet and ran to the 
open door and looked out. "I have never been so insulted in my life, Doctor 
MacNeill." She looked outside but Doctor MacNeill was no longer in sight. "Oh 
that man!" She stamped her foot, then turned and ran back up the aisle 
between the school desks. Christy heard running footsteps behind her and when 
she turned around she was grabbed in a bearhug that left her breathless.

    Neil set her back on her feet and smiled at her. "There, that's how it 
would be." He said with a twinkle in his eyes. He sat down on one of the 
seats closest to where Christy was standing. He motioned her to sit down with 
him, and he went on after she sat down beside him. His hands reached out for 
her arms and he squeezed them. "If we are to have an understanding, Christy, 
I want you to promise me one thing."

    "Only one thing, Doctor?" Christy's eyebrow raised and looked 
questioningly at him.

    "Well, for right now, Miss Christy Huddleston, we will make up the rest 
as we go."

    "Well, I'm waiting." Christy told him. She couldn't believe how forward 
Neil was being.

    "Promise me that we won't ever tell each other a lie, even a white lie. 
Promise to tell each other how we are feeling. We can't be taking each other 
for granted. Had we told each other how we were feeling before I went away, I 
would never have gone away. Promise me, Christy!" Neil's hazel eyes seemed to 
see into her heart and left a searing warmth.

    "I promise, Neil." she felt hypnotized as she gazed back into his eyes.

    "I promise too, lass."

*****
    The next morning, at the school house before anyone was there, before the 
stove had been lite. Christy sat in a darkened corner and waited. She was 
going to solve this mystery once and for all. Every morning since her return 
to school, she had found flowers on her desk. No one would confess. So there 
she was.

    Doctor MacNeill came creeping into the school house, he laid the flowers 
he carried on the teacher's desk and turned to the stove to fire it up until 
the sun burned off the chill. He spied Christy in the corner and he gave a 
jump.

    "Why Christy!" the doctor exclaimed. "What are you sitting there in the 
dark for?"

    "I've found you out, Doctor MacNeill!" Christy jumped to her feet and 
walked towards the doctor with her arms crossed. "It was you after all."

    "What? Who? Me?"

    Just then the door creaked open and light came into the slightly dimmed 
room. Sam Houston entered the schoolhouse with a bouquet of flowers in his 
hand. He looked guilty as he realized who was there.

    Doctor MacNeill barked a laugh and turned back to Christy. "Uh, as you 
were saying...?"

    Christy looked from Neil to Sam Houston and back to Neil again. The joke 
was on her after all. Christy took a deep breath and let it out in a loud and 
happy laugh.

    Sam Houston's voice piped up. "See thar, teacher. Laughter is the best 
medicine, Ain't it, Doc!"

    Doctor MacNeill answered. "Aye, son, That it is!" he then laughed until 
Sam Houston couldn't help himself, the doctor's laugh was so contagious, he 
was laughing along with his two good friends."

    Christy spit on her hand and held it mischieviously out to the doctor. 
"Put it thar, Doctor!" 

    Neil looked at Christy with a bemused smile and a cocked eyebrow. He 
grabbed Christy's hand by the sides and wiped the palm of her hand against 
his pants. "That's what I like about you, Miss Huddleston. You are always so 
unpredictable. I never know what to expect from you. Christy, you know that 
I'm not getting any younger, but when I'm with you, you make me feel forever 
young."

    Christy smiled up into Neil's face. "That's good, Doctor, because when I 
run, you're going to have to keep up. " Then she turned serious. "I can see 
it in your eyes, Neil. Your beautiful eyes looking at me and I can see that I 
will be forever in your heart." She leaned towards him...

     Sam Houston watched with his mouth open wide in an "O", holding close 
the secret he had just witnessed.

***************
You know that I love you in every way
You bring so many magical wonders to my day
How could I ever leave? One reason why
Cause darlin' without you, I cannot breathe
You're the best thing in my life
The only one who helps me through
So much pain and strife
When I look into your eyes all is see
is you and I together, forever in your heart.
    -N'Sync, Forever In Your Heart-
***************

THE END