Title: Ever Constant Author: Emily H. Disclaimer: The story of Christy is owned by the LeSourd family. This is written purely for fun and I am not trying to make a profit off of this story. Ever Constant Chapter 1 "Now Lass, we really should talk about our wedding with your parents? You parents, especially your Mother, are going to want to help plan the wedding and I really don’t want to be engaged forever." Neil joked, but he knew that I was dreading planning the wedding with my Mother. It was a chilly Sunday afternoon in October that Neil and I found ourselves up at God’s Fist having, what turned into, our traditional Sunday picnic. Every Sunday after service Neil and I would sneak off and bring a picnic lunch up to our spot. It was a great chance for us to be alone and between the constant line of medical calls, the children and Ruby Mae is was nearly impossible to be alone at any other time. "But Neil … Mother is going to want us to have a big city wedding and all I wan it s to get married here in Cutter Gap surrounded my family. She is not going to understand that … " I sighed. "For as long as I can remember she has been planning my wedding in a big church in Asheville with a dozen attendants in fancy, silk dresses, followed by an European honeymoon, only to return from my honeymoon to start a family." With that last comment I started to blush. The idea of discussing starting a family with anyone wasn’t proper but especially a man. Neil just sat and laughed as my face turned a bright shade of red from embarrassment. With a tear rolling down my cheek I added "I just don’t know if I am ready to have her plan my life for me." "Lass, I hate to be the one to say this but your Mother is not going to be planning your life anymore. From now on WE are going to be planning OUR life." With that Neil leaned over and kissed my tear away. He always did a wonderful job of calming my nerves. "OUR life…" I smiled. "I like the sound of that." With that in mind I began to relax, leaned over and rested my head on Neil’s shoulder. "Speaking of our life," Neil said as he pulled me closer. "How are you going to like being the wife of a backwoods doctor? Who has to leave for days on calls? And gets paid in beans instead of money?" I knew that he was trying to make a joke of something my Mother would say but by the tone of his voice I was sure that he was thinking of Margaret and how she felt about being married to Neil. It had been years since Margaret’s death but there were still times when I could tell that she still haunted him. Her unfaithfulness and refusal to be happy and love him like he needed to be loved; had hurt him more than he would ever admit. It was times like these when I felt like I needed to reassure Neil of the constant love I felt for him. "Let me tell you something Neil MacNeil." I turned to look him directly in the eyes. "There is nothing I want more in my life than to be the wife of a backwoods doctor. Especially if that doctor happens to be you. I leaned over and kissed him before he could say another word. You could tell that his kiss was reassurance to the both of us that I was his and his alone. We stayed at our secret spot all day, looking out over the cove. Talking about our hopes and dreams for the future: about children, his choice to become a doctor, his time in Scotland at medical school, my hopes for educating the cove, our childhood, and most importantly growing old by each other’s side. Our future! I hated leaving him that night but I knew that before long I would be able to stay by his side forever. That night as I lay in my bed at the mission I stayed awake thinking about how my life had changed since I first came to Cutter Gap. If someone had told me when I left Asheville that the I meet the man of my dreams on a cold winter’s day during a surgery no less I would have laughed at them. Even after meeting Neil I don’t think I ever really believed that I would be anything more than friends with him. At the time it was as about an obscure idea as me marring Bird’s Eye. It is amazing how so many unexpectedly wonderful things can happen in just a year. It had only been a month since I made the decision that would without a doubt change my life forever. A month ago I was faced with the decision of my life. Deciding, for good, between the two men who pulled at the strings of my heart for many months. David who had spent the better part of a year trying to sweep me off my feet without becoming my friend and Neil who took the time to become my friend and in turn swept me off my feet. I didn’t know what my heart and God wanted until it was almost too late. Standing there in the school yard looking back between Neil, David and the children I knew what I had to do. It was then that I choose Neil. David, who was hurt at first, understood. I think the he, as well as everyone in Cutter Gap, knew of the love that Neil and I shared. In fact, since I made my decision David and my friendship has improved and he now realizes that what we shared wasn’t romantic love but instead the love shared between a brother and a sister. The following day Neil showed up after school, rather unexpected, with a bouquet of fall flowers and a devilish grin. "What on Earth are you smiling about Neil?" I asked, as I smelled the fragrant flowers. "Well actually today is a rather important day my love." He smirked as he handed me the flowers and passionately kissed me. "An important day? Why?" I began to question and think of what day it was … had I forgotten our anniversary? … I had no idea what day it was … but I could tell from the grin on his face that he was up to something. "We are going over to the mission right now and calling your parents. The nights are going to be getting cold soon and I don’t think I can spend many more alone." With that I turned bright red as Neil just laughed. So without a giving me a moment to object, Neil took my hand and we started towards the mission and called my parents. Although my parents knew over our engagement Mother was rather annoyed that it took so long for me to call her about planning the wedding. But she didn’t waste any time. She already started to get the guest list together as well as picking out a wedding dress for me, a tuxedo for Neil and of course booking a church in Asheville. It took a lot of smooth talking on my part, and a little help from my Father, but Mother finally gave up the idea of a fancy city wedding and settled with our idea of a simple, but of course elegant, mountain wedding. We all decided that a wedding in March would be perfect. That would give mother enough time to ship what she considered the essential items to me in Cutter Gap and allow me the chance to go back to Asheville for a few days to be fitted for the wedding dress. (Mother’s idea of a wedding was much fancier than mine but since she had been so good with giving up the city wedding idea I decided to let her have a major say in the choice of my wedding dress.) The next few months were busy with planning the wedding. Everyone in the cove wanted to help. The men offered to build an addition onto Neil’s cabin so that he could have a room for patients. That way he wouldn’t have to leave as often. (I think that they also realized that a woman wouldn’t appreciate having her kitchen table being used for an operating table every time they sit down for dinner.) The women helped me gather and dry all the fall flowers that we could find. With a wedding in March the likelihood of finding flowers then was slim. They also took a great pride in teaching "the city gal" as Aunt Hattie put it the tricks of being a wife. The taught me everything from cooking, to sewing, how to win an argument (and knowing how hard headed Neil and I were that would be rather important information), the "duties" of a mountain wife and even about raising babies. Although it was embarrassing for me to talk about some of those topics, it was very helpful because I knew that I could never go to my Mother with those questions because it wasn’t proper for a young woman to talk about those things. Christmas came and went with few problems. Lucky for the people of the Cove it was a mild winder and most of the illnesses were mild. My parents came to spend Christmas in Cutter Cap which was wonderful. There was so much planning to get Gutter Gap ready for Christmas that in those few short weeks I almost forgot about planning the wedding. For the first time the cove decided to spend Christmas together, much like we did at Thanksgiving, everyone brought what they could to eat and share and we enjoyed many hours of fellowship. The evening ended with a pageant created and put on by the children. Within a week of Christmas life in Cutter Gap returned to normal. My parents returned to Asheville immediately after Christmas. I promised mother that I would return for a few days right before the wedding for final fittings and preparations. A few into the new year Neil rode up to the mission with a unusual look on his face. "Neil, what is it?" Neil got off of Charlie and walked over to me with something in his hand. As he got closer it appeared that it was a letter. I immediately began to wonder what was in that letter to give him such a strange look on his face. As Neil handed me the letter to read he began to explain. "It’s a letter from one of my medial professors from Scotland. I had written him about my trachoma research years ago and he never responded. Apparently he has been doing some extensive research in the area himself, since he received my letter and has invited me to come to be a guest lecturer at the university." "Neil that’s amazing!!" I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck. The strange look on his face now seemed relieved and made way for a smile. "Oh Christy, I have always dreamed about going back to Scotland... It would be great to go back and look at my old classrooms, and see my professors and friends." The smile slowly disappeared. "But I can’t go." Neil walked over to the window. "They would need me there next month. I can’t leave that close to our wedding go alone without you. I want to take you there this time instead of going by myself." "I see," weighing the options I asked. "How long would you be there for?" "They would need me for a month." I sat and thought about the opportunity on hand. It would mean so much if Neil could go and who knows if the opportunity will ever come again. And without a second thought I turned to Neil, smiled and said "You HAVE to go. Who knows if you will ever get an opportunity like this again. You will be back in time for the wedding." Still not sure if he was honestly thinking about going I added "Besides think of what fun it will be to see each other again after a month right before the wedding. It could make the honeymoon that much more interesting" I said with a wink. It wasn’t often that I was able to be coy like that but under the circumstances I managed. Neil laughed at my comment. He then turned and started pacing, muttering to himself ... "I could go couldn’t I?! ... Dr. Davis, Dan and Alice ... look after Christy... only a month ...." Within his muttering I heard some questions but I thought it best to stay quite and let him sort through this aloud. Finally he turned to me and said, "Dr. Davis could look after things in the Cove while I was gone and with Dan and Alice here for minor emergencies things will be okay. And then I could return in a few days before the wedding. It would bring a certain element of fun to the wedding wouldn’t it? Besides I would be out of your way while you are adding the final touches to our wedding." The sparkle in his eyes were unforgettable. By this point I could tell that he was already planning his trip in his mind. So with that, Neil decided to write his professor and tell them that he gratefully accept his offer only on one condition... he would have to be back the week before the wedding ... no exceptions. (That was my condition but Neil completely agreed.) With it settle Neil picked me up, swung me around in the air and kissed me passionately. Over the next few weeks Neil and I spent many hours planning the wedding as much as we could. Neil spent his time stocking up the mission and Dan’s with medical supplies. He also ran through extra training with Alice and Dan and insisted on telling Dr. Davis almost the entire medical histories of every patient in the cove. The Sunday before Neil left we threw a party for him after church. I think that the whole cove came and everyone had a gift to give him. The children all drew him pictures of him helping them (so that he wouldn’t forget them). The women knitted him a sweater and scarf and the men gave him a new pipe for the journey. I choose to give him a new Bible for his journey. Immediately a puzzled look came across his face. "It’s a beautiful Bible but Lass I already have the Bible that Alice gave to me." Trying not to be obviously confused and looking at everyone else for some hint of reasoning behind this gift. But all he met in their faces was confusion. It was unheard of for a family to have more than one Bible. Especially when one was as fancy as the leather bound Bible that he held. "Look inside Neil." I whispered to him. As he opened the bible tears filled his eyes. "What’s it say Doc?" Questioned Sam Houston as he snuck through the crowd to the front to get a better look at what was going on. "It says ... ‘Neil MacNeil and Christy Huddleston MacNeill married March 9, 1914.’ As Neil looked at me I knew I had picked the perfect gift. "thank you Christy." He held me close as if he was trying to memorize the way it felt. I whispered in his ear, "There is even room for the names of our children." With that last comment he held me closer. Saturday approached and Alice, David, Dan and I took Neil to the station in El Pano. It was sad saying goodbye to him, especially since it would be the longest time that we were apart even during the time when we were just friends. But I knew that in just over a month I would see him again. And then we would be married. With all the planning that I still needed to do time would hopefully fly by. "God’s be Neil! We will be praying for thee while you are away." Miss Alice said as she hugged him goodbye. "I love you Neil! Will you promise to write as often as you can?" "Of course I will ... I love you too Lass!! Promise not to leave me for some other younger and handsomer man." He said jokingly to try to lighten the mood. "I wouldn’t dream of it Neil MacNeil." With a long, passionate kiss goodbye (one that would hold us for a month) and a long embrace. Neil boarded the train for Boston and then on a ship to Scotland. Chapter 2 **One Month Later** Neil had been gone for a month now and was set to arrive in El Pano on March 2nd, just 7 days before our wedding. Surprisingly the month had gone by rather fast between my short trip to Asheville and planning the wedding. Fairlight, Miss Alice and I decided to go to Neil’s cabin the week before he was set to come home and clean it up a bit. Bird’s Eye offered to help me move my belongings from the mission to the cabin before Neil got back. As Bird’s Eye put it "You’ll be busy catchin’ up with Doc when he gets back, no time for movin’ stuff." And I suppose that he was right. Since Neil’s departure Bird’s Eye had taken me under his wing and looked after me as a father would. Always watching to make sure that I was safe. I think that it was his way of repaying Neil for taking care of Lundy before he died. I enjoyed the long talks with Bird’s Eye and I realize now that I was too quick to judge him in the past. We spent many hours talking about his life in Cutter Gap, my life in Asheville and God. It wasn’t until Miss Alice, Fairlight and I reached Neil’s cabin that we realized how much work we were in for. By the looks of the cabin Neil hadn’t cleaned it for quite some time before he left and he must have had a struggle packing because clothes, books and papers were all over the place. It took the better part of a day for us to get things decent again. We put up some curtains and table cloths through out the cabin. Miss Alice cleaned out some of Neil’s dresser drawers to make room for my clothing. And with the help of Bird’s Eye, Jeb and Tom we moved the vast majority of the wedding gifts, sent from Asheville, to the new room at the cabin. I planned on waiting to open them with Neil. I could hardly contain my excitement that week during school and the children knew it. Although everyone in the Cove seemed to be excited for Neil’s return his train was set to arrive in El Pano on Friday evening and then return to the Cove on Saturday morning with Dr. Ferrand who had come for the wedding. The children planned a picnic on Saturday to celebrate his return. I couldn’t have been more excited to see Neil. WE had only written once because of the time it took to get our letters to each other. Saturday morning finally arrived and I woke with thoughts of finally being able to hold Neil in my arms. I couldn’t wait to hear about his trip and tell him all that he had missed in the last month at Cutter Gap. But I was also excited for Neil’s return because that meant that our wedding was only a week away! As I crept downstairs trying not to wake anyone I noticed the smell of breakfast already cooking. As I peaked into the kitchen I was surprised to see Miss Alice, David and Ruby Mae all awake. "Why on Earth are you all awake? It’s so early." "Well good morning to you too." David teased me for rude greeting. "It appears that we all are excited for Neil’s return. In fact Sam Houston has already been by twice to see if Neil’s back." "But Neil isn’t due here for at least a few more hours!" "Well Sam Houston hoped that he came back early." Miss Alice smiled as she explained Sam Houston’s reasoning. While she spoke I looked out the window in case he was coming back early. "Why don’t you sit down and eat somethin’ Miss Christy ... lookin’ out that window won’t bring Doc back any sooner. He’ll be here soon enough." I was amazed by Ruby Mae’s maturity because she was typically the one who can’t sit still. After breakfast Miss Alice suggested going on a walk to kill time before Neil and Dr. Ferrand’s arrival. It had been a long time since we had taken a walk and talked, so I agreed to go. "Christy I am so thankful that thee and Neil have found each other. you know that I think of thee as a daughter ..." She said as she looked out across the half frozen pond. "When Neil married Margaret I had hoped that their love would be everlasting but I soon saw that it wasn’t. No matter how much Neil tried. After Margaret died I saw a light in him die. Since he has met you I have seen that light slowly appear again and grow. I am thankful that God has brought thee into his life ... as well as the rest of ours." Not knowing what to say I just hugged Miss Alice and thanked her. We bother realized that Neil and Dr. Ferrand should be arriving soon so we started back to the mission. Upon arriving at the mission I noticed David sitting on the porch with Dr. Ferrand. My heart leapt! That meant that Neil must be somewhere near by. But why hadn’t he come to look for me? Maybe he didn’t know where to look. As I ran to the house David met me along the way and grabbed my hand to stop me from going any closer to the mission. "Why are you in my way? I want to go see Neil now ..." But I could not tell, from the pensive look on David’s face that something wasn’t right. "Christy .." David searched for the right words, "...Neil never arrived in El Pano." his eyes searched for help from Dr. Ferrand and Miss Alice who were now at my side. Dr. Ferrand stepped in and tried to comfort me. "Perhaps Neil missed his train in Boston and will be arriving on the next train." Trying to compose myself from crying I said "Well of course he must have missed his train ... he promised to be back before the wedding and he will." I said this almost to convince myself. With a deep breath I added, "There are chores to be done and papers to grade ... so I must get to work." "Christy, thee doesn’t have to do that. why don’t thee join us for some tea?" "No thank you Miss Alice. I will be okay." As I turned to leave I noticed Sam Houston skipping up the path. I walked over to him and explained that Neil must have missed the train and will be here shortly. "But teacher ... Doc wouldn’t miss the train. He ain’t never been late for anythin’ before, but he especially won’t be late today." miss Alice come and rescued me from further questions. "Sam Houston, would thee go tell Ruby to start lunch? And ask her to make some of those cookies you love ... I am sure that she will let thee help." "Yes Ma’am!" With that he was off. The next few days were filed with a rapid sense of uneasiness and on Friday there was still no word. Miss Alice had called my parents and told them what had happened. They thought it best to come down a few days early. I continued to bake for the wedding, refusing to believe the worse. that day, as I did everyday, I walked to his cabin ... our cabin .... to see if he was there. If he wasn’t I would start to clean and organize things ... anything to keep me from thinking the worse. That night when I returned to the mission I noticed everyone sitting together at the table. by examining the look on everyone’s face I knew that someone had heard something. Ruby Mae was crying in Mother’s arms, Miss Alice was silently praying, David just looked out the window with a lost face and Aunt Hattie, who I was surprised to see, had obviously been crying. My eyes searched the room for something ... anything to give me hope, as I searched I twisted my ruby engagement ring around my finger. As I looked on the table I saw a letter. When I opened it up it read... To Whom It May Concern, We at the First Start Shipping Comp. regret to inform you that our passenger ship the SS Victoria, sailing from Scotland to America, has sunk off the cost of Massachusetts. No survivors were found. Deepest Sympathies for you loss. Mr. Thomas Fenwick President, First Star Shipping Comp. The room began to spin as I fell to my knees dropping the letter on the ground. Father just walked to me and cried as he held me in his arms. All he kept saying was, "Let it all out Little Miss. it’s going to be okay. Daddy will take care of everything." "I don’t understand how this could happen." Is all I kept saying through the tears. "Tomorrow is our wedding ... this can’t be happening ... Neil will be home soon. he must have missed that boat and is taking another one." With that I stood up and walked to the door. "He will come home ... he promised me ... he will be home and in my arms where he belongs before I know it. He will come home!" Chapter 3 Disclaimer: The story of Christy is owned by the LeSourd family. This is written purely for fun and I am not trying to make a profit off of this story. *********************************************************************** The days that followed the memorial service for Neil left the cove in poor spirits. Everyone kept stopping by the mission to see how I was doing. Expressing their sympathies and asking if there was anything they could do to help. Whenever people would fuss I would calmly thank them for their support but tell them that it wasn’t needed because Neil would be home soon. Everyone tried to help me deal with the loss of Neil. Everyone grew increasingly worried about me because I refused to believe he was gone. Fairlight, Miss Alice, David, Dan, everyone tried in their own way to help me come to terms with Neil’s death. Miss Alice even sent for Aunt Hattie to come and talk to me. But it was useless … I refused to believe that I had lost him forever. Mother and Father tried to convince me to return to Asheville with them at least for a while to get away from everything that reminds me of Neil. But I refused to leave. “My children need to be taught. Besides, I need to be here when Neil returns.” They tried to tell me that he wasn’t going to return but I refused to listen. Dr. Ferrand stayed on for a few extra weeks to help everyone grieve and to help with medical issues that arose. He also started contacting medical schools hoping to find a new doctor that would be willing to come to Cutter Gap. After my parents returned to Asheville things started to return to normal. Classes resumed and I was eager to get back into teaching. My children were such a distraction from the worries and uneasiness that I found at the mission. They were able to continue and play as if nothing had happened. They did however look at me differently and rarely gave me trouble in class. Which was a blessed change. The nights were the hardest for me. My thoughts kept turning to Neil. I was suppose to be with him, in his arms now not at the mission, by myself. I often found myself sneaking out of the mission at night and taking long walks around the Cove. Often finding myself at Neil’s by the river, the spot where he taught me to fish, where he would go to think. It was there in his secret hiding spots that I found myself at peace. It was there that I felt like he was still with me. Although I often prayed before Neil disappeared I found myself turning to God more. I was mad at him for taking Neil away from me. I couldn’t understand it. Often my prayers turned into shouts of anger and confusion. “Lord, I know that you know what is best but how could you take him from me!” My voice echoed through the cove. “I … we followed all your rules, looked after our neighbors, did everything you asked but still you took the one thing away from us that we wanted. Our love and life together. If you have some higher meaning to all of this … some lesson that I should learn from a life without him … I don’t want to learn it. I refuse to believe that you took him from me forever. Help me find him Lord. My life doesn’t make sense without him in it. He completes me. Please don’t take him from me forever.” With those last words I feel to my knees sobbing. “Miss Christy?” Startled, I turned around to see Bird’s Eye standing behind me. “Can I do anythin’ for ya?” “Oh Bird’s Eye … there isn’t anything you can do … there isn’t anything that anyone can do. I just need to be patience until he returns.” “But Ma’am I don’t think that Doc is returning. You need to face that. And start livin’ your life a day at a time.” Thinking of what to say next. He added, “I know it’s a hurtin’ ya … but it will get easier.” “Thank you Bird’s Eye.” I said smiling at the man who had become a friend to me since Neil left for his trip. “No need to be thankin’ me … “ As he struggled for the words he added “I know you have the women folk and preacher but… ya kin’ always talk to me if you need to.” With that Bird’s Eye walked me back to the mission. The next afternoon when school was out I started to take a walk and think. I once again found myself at Neil’s cabin. For the first time since Fairlight, Miss Alice and I cleaned it before our wedding I walked inside. It was strange to be walking around Neil’s cabin … but then again I was to be my cabin too. I looked around the cabin taking great care to explore every corner of every room. Secretly hoping to find some sign that Neil had been there. Everything was just as we had left it when we cleaned. I searched through his laboratory trying to imagine him studying there while I cooked us dinner. I saw his secret stash of butterscotch that he given to Becky the night of the storm. I walked into the new room, which still had a pile of unopened wedding gifts. I kept thinking of how fun it would be to open them up with Neil. As I walked past the mantle again I found a small velvet box. When I opened it I found it to be a simple set of gold wedding bands. Neil and I had decided when we were planning the wedding not to get wedding bands. They were so expensive and with Neil taking his trip to Scotland we thought that we would save the money and get bands later. Apparently he got them anyways. I took them out of the box I held them in my hand. I tried to picture what I would be like to have Neil put my ring on my finger. Not wanting to put such beautiful treasures I way I took off the gold cross that I had around my neck and added the two rings. Although Neil and I never married I would be married to him in my heart. I then turned and walked upstairs to Neil’s … our room. As I walked into the bedroom I saw my clothing and shoes still in the drawers. I had retrieved a few items since then but not everything. Inside Neil’s closet I found a few shirts of Neil’s that he hadn’t taken with him. When I pulled it to my face I found that it sill had the faint scent of Neil on it – a mixture of pipe smoke and medicine. I wrapped myself in his shirt, sat on the bed and cried. How could I manage never having him with me? Never being able to feel his arms wrapping around me. I could hear Neil’s voice saying “just let it all out Lass.” So I did. I woke up the next morning with a headache. I must have fallen asleep crying. As I walked downstairs I found David sitting and reading by the fireplace. “David, what are you doing here?” Still groggy from my first night of decent sleep in months. “When you didn’t come home last night I searched all around the Cove for you. By night fall it dawned on Alice and I where you would be.” Half smiling and half annoyed. I could tell that he had been worried. “I am sorry for making you and Miss Alice worried David. I had no intention of staying here all night … I guess I just fell asleep.” “I know Christy, I found you sleeping upstairs. I looked like the first night of rest you have had in a long time. I couldn’t bear to wake you. So I sent Bird’s Eye to tell Alice we found you.” “Bird’s Eye?” Puzzled as to why he was involved. David seeing my confusion tried to explain. “Apparently Bird’s Eye has been keeping his eye on you since Neil left. And lately has been taking it a little more seriously since you haven’t excepted Neil’s death.” Afraid to throw the last comment in, David took his chances and said it anyways. “David, Neil is coming back. I know it!!!” I stated with every bit of assurance that I could muster up. “Christy.” David said as he held my hand. “Neil isn’t coming back. I know it horrible to believe but its true. You have to accept that and try to go on without him” Throwing his hands off of my own. I started to shout. “How can I accept that he is gone? When he isn’t. He will return to me. He promised me.” Regaining my composure I continued. “David, how can I accept that he is gone? Wouldn’t I feel it in my heart if I had lost him forever? Maybe he is lost and trying to come home to me. How would he feel if he found that I gave up on him?” With that I started to cry. “Oh David … he isn’t coming back to me is he? What am I going to do?” With that I cried harder. David just put his arms around me and let me cry it all out. For the first time since we had received word about the ship sinking I was showing emotion about this to someone and he wasn’t about to interrupt that. Besides, he didn’t have the answers to the questions that I was asking. We sat there for hours praying, talking and crying. On the walk back to the mission I made a decision that I knew would find object but I was to remain firm in my decision. “David?” I thought it best to tell him my idea first. “I would like to go to El Pano on Saturday and get Neil’s horse from the stable there. Charlie needs to be here.” “That can be arranged Christy. I could go get him this weekend when I pick up supplies.” David smiled at my new attitude. “No I would really like to come with you. It would be good for me to go out amongst people for the day. The weather is getting so nice I would be a lovely ride. Besides I have some things to get from town.” “Very well then, we can leave first thing Saturday morning.” We continued on a little bit further before I added the next part. “David … there is something else that I would like to do. Although you may not agree with it I really need your support. Will you promise to support me David?” “Well as long as you aren’t planning to jump of the moon I will Christy. You know that.” David joked. “I would like to move out of the mission and move into Neil’s cabin.” I tried to say it really fast so that David wouldn’t have time to object. Sitting for a minute and thinking about what he just heard David said. “Are you sure that its wise for you to do that Christy?” “I think it’s exactly what I need. For the first time since that awful day I was at peace. I was at peace because I was with Neil’s things. If he isn’t coming home to me I would at least like to be near his things. Being at the mission all the time makes it seem like things are normal. And they aren’t. I need to accept that he isn’t coming home and move on.” “Okay then Christy if you think it is best. But you need to check with Alice first.” As soon as we got to the mission I went and spoke to Alice about moving to the cabin. Although she didn’t like the idea at first she finally gave in to my idea. I was going to move there on Saturday when I returned from El Pano with Charlie. Saturday morning came and as David promised we left for El Pano. My first task once we got to El Pano was to go and check on Charlie. I explained that I was going to take him for Neil and the gentlemen understood. I then went with David over to the general store to buy a few supplies for the cabin. After David had gotten everything he needed we went and got Charlie. The last stop was the station to pick up a package that Ben hadn’t’ be able to bring up to Cutter Gap. It was a box for hymnals from David’s church in Boston. As I stood on the platform waiting for David I began to look at the people in the train. In the window I could see a man with curly hair. He looked like Neil. I knew that my eyes were playing tricks on me but I couldn’t help but stare. “Neil is dead.” I said to Charlie as if he understood me. But I couldn’t take my eyes of this mysterious man he resembled Neil so much. The gentlemen started to get off the train. I took Charlie’s reigns and followed the man. With each step I picked up the pace. I could hear David calling my name but I didn’t care. I had to see for myself that the man wasn’t Neil. Finally the man stopped and turned around the corner of the building. But I caught a glimpse of his face. The next thing I knew everything went black. Chapter 4 I woke up to find myself resting on the bench at the station. David was standing there, holding my hand trying to get me to wake up. "Christy? Christy? Are you all right?" David asked as he handed me a glass of water. Realizing what happened before I blacked out. I immediately jumped up and started looking around the station. "Where did he go? David, where did he go?" By the puzzled look on David’s face I realized that I wasn’t making any sense. Trying to cover for my dizzy spell. "Oh, I am fine David. I guess that I was so excited to come this morning that I forgot to eat breakfast." Trying to look composed I added. "Perhaps we can got back to Cutter Gap now and get some lunch?" "Of course we can. Are you sure you’re okay?" Not quite convinced by my excuse. On the ride back to the mission David kept his eye on me. You could tell he was struggling to tell if I was really okay. "Christy, who were you walking after before you fainted?" I was about to answer but I thought it better if I didn’t say anything ... at least for now. I had just been able to get him to believe that I was okay. How could I tell him that I saw Neil?! "Oh I don’t know David. It looked like someone I once knew." Looking pleased with my answer he rode on. I prayed silently. "Lord, please make that man be Neil. Please!" For the rest of the ride I replayed the images of the man and sorted through the events in my mind. "It just had to be Neil. I knew he would come home to me. But why didn’t he head towards the Cove?" Once we approached the mission I told David that I planned on heading to the cabin. "There is much I need to do before nightfall ... thank you again for taking me with you. I’ll see you tomorrow at services." With that I was off towards my cabin with Charlie and my supplies. As I approached the cabin I saw Jeb and Bird’s Eye fixing the roof which had a few leaks. "Thank you for doing that. Would you like to stay for supper?" "No thank you Miss Christy. I need to be gettin’ home to my family but thank you just the same." Answered Jeb has he started for home. "Bird’s Eye, what about you?" "I need to be leavin’ myself ... but I will stop by tomorrow mornin’ before services." "Ok then. Good night and thank you." With that I was left alone for my first night in my cabin. Most of the evening was spent cleaning and unpacking. As I walked past the new room and saw the wedding gifts I knew that I needed to do something with the gifts. But I was getting tired so I decided to save that for tomorrow after services. With that I climbed into bed and began to think of the stranger in El Pano. "What if he was only a dream?" I began to think as I fell asleep. "Well if that was only a dream I hope I never wake up." With that I fell asleep. "Miss Christy??" Bird’s Eye shouted while banging on the door the next morning. "Miss Christy are you in there??" Hearing no response he turned to leave. "Well she must have left already ... strange though." "All through out services Bird’s Eye searched the room for Miss Christy. At one point he even whispered to Jeb. "Have you seen Miss Christy this mornin’?" "No, I thought you were gettin her before services?" Jeb whispered back with a questioning gaze. "I went to get her but no one answered. I just figured that she left without me." As soon as services were over Bird’s Eye and Jeb gathered a few men to go look for Christy. The men started to search the Cove assuming that she had gone on another one of her walks. The women thoughts it wise to go search near the cabin for her. AS Fairlight, Alice, Mary and Opal walked towards the cabin, Opal noticed smoke coming out of the chimney. "Well, she must be back ... look at the smoke comin’ from the chimney." Alice tried knocking a few times but after no one answered she decided it best to just walk in. As she looked around the cabin she was shocked to see Christy laying on the floor by the fireplace. Immediately she rushed to her side. "Christy, it’s Alice ...." With a slight shake in her voice she continued. "Christy, can you hear me. I need you to open your eyes." Still receiving no response Alice examined further and noticed that she had a high fever. Instantly Alice started to shout out orders. "Mrs. Spencer, please go to the mission and call the doctor in El Pano. Ask him to come here at once. Mrs. McHone go get some fresh, cool water and Mrs. Allen go find them and tell them that we found Miss Huddleston. As the women rushed to do their assigned tasks Alice leaned over Christy and spoke to her. "Christy, can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes. We are going to get help and get you better. You can’t ..." Not even being able to think such a horrible thought. "I already lost one daughter, a son-in-law, and I am not about to lose you too. Just fight it Christy. Fight it. Think of the children and the people of the cove. They need you so much. I don’t think anyone could bare it if we lost you." With that she began to weep. Weeks went by and Christy wasn’t getting better. Dr. Davis stayed by Christy’s side without fail. The other could only persuade her to leave Christy’s side to eat. The whole cove rallied together to help their beloved teacher. The women took turns teaching the children the best they could. The lessons often consisted of sewing, cooking and gardening. While the men taught the boys about hunting, fishing and building. David would teach one lesson a day on basic math and religion. Despite these efforts it was hard for anyone to concentrate on school while Miss Christy was so ill. Finally after almost a month of slipping in and out of sleep Christy woke up. Alice immediately leaned over her and checked her fever which appeared to have finally gone down a bit. "Christy, take some water. Just a little bit now." Alice smiled as she saw some life in Christy again. "You certainly gave us a scare. Do you remember what happened?" "I remember being in El Pano with David ... we were at the train platform when I saw a man ...." My eyes lit up as I began to remember the events from that day. As everything began to come back to me I immediately sat up. "Where is he Miss Alice? Where is Neil?" Tears filled Alice’s eyes as she realized that her friend was in a delirious state. "Miss Huddleston..." Searching for words, her eyes filling with tears. "Christy, dear, does thee not remember. Neil died over 2 months ago in a ship wreck." "But Alice, he didn’t. I saw him in El Pano. He is alive." Alice frowned at the last comments that left my mouth. She leaned over, brushed the hair out of my face. "I will get thee something to eat. Why don’t you just rest a bit. I will return shortly." As she walked out the door, I was left with the wonderful thoughts of Neil returning to me. As Alice walked into the kitchen she saw Fairlight and David. "Well Miss Huddleston has woken up. But she is still rather ill. Her fever has gone down a bit but it is still too high." Recognizing the concerned look on Alice’s face David questioned. "But what Alice? There is something that you are not telling us about Christy." "The truth is there is more. Will you both sit down and I will explain to you the latest circumstances. "I will be back in a moment. I need to take some coffee out to Bird’s Eye and he will want to know that Miss Christy is awake." As Fairlight walked outside with coffee and food for Bird’s Eye, David and Alice continued to talk. "Bird’s Eye is still here?" "He doesn’t seem to want to leave her Alice. It seems that he looks at her like a daughter since he promised Neil that he would look after her. She seems to have made him a gentler man. because of it." When Fairlight returned Alice started to explain Christy’s current state. "Although her fever has dropped a little bit it is still much too high. Dr. Davis, as you know has gone through all means that he knows of. It appears that it is now up to Christy and the Lord. She is awake but I am afraid that she is delirious." "What do you mean delirious Alice?" David asked. "Well she thinks that Neil is alive. She claims to have seem him in El Pano." "Oh my!" David answered in astonishment. "What is it preacher?" "Well while we were in El Pano Christy fainted at the station. She claimed that it was because she hadn’t’ had breakfast that morning. But when she woke up she did ask ‘Where is he?’ Well I had no idea who she was asking for. And when I questioned her she just acted like nothing happened." Alice sat for a moment trying to piece everything together. Meanwhile, out on the porch Bird’s Eye sat and prayed. "Lord, you know that I have not been a prayin’ man. But if you would help Miss Christy I would be beholdin’ to you. Help her to not be so sad. If she was happy again I jest know she would be gettin’ better." As he finished his prayer he heard footsteps coming down the path. Whoever it was didn’t bother to announce themselves. Because it was dark Bird’s Eye couldn’t quite make out the figure but when he did he almost fainted. "Bird’s Eye ... what in the blazes are you doin’ at my cabin?" Rang the familiar Scottish voice. "Well ... I ... umm ... Miss Christy is sick ... and umm ..." Bird’s Eye stuttered to find the words, still in shock of seeing Dr. McNeil but upon hearing Christy’s name Neil rushed inside. As he swung the door open and saw three very concerned faces. Alice, David and Fairlight stood there in shock convinced that they were staring at a ghost. It was Alice who finally tried to speak. But all she could say was ... "Neil?!" "Alice where is Christy? ... why are you all here? ... what is wrong?" Still unable to speak Alice just pointed upstairs. Neil raced up the stairs, two at a time in search of Christy. When he got to the bedroom he was shocked to see Christy pale, feverish, sleeping in the bed. He slowly walked over to her thinking of how he planned on seeing her. How he planned on sweeping her off her feet. Never once did he think about finding her sick in a bed. He grabbed her hand, feel to his knees and prayed. "Lord, it has been a long journey home. I can’t even imagine how Christy must have felt thought all of this ... not seeing me return two months ago for our wedding. I am sure that she was heart broken and has since moved on. Is it too much to hope that she has waited for me? Please help us both deal with the changes that lie ahead." With the last words of his prayer he leaned over and kissed her forehead as he longed to do for many months now. he could feel her high fever. But he noticed a small, weak smile cross her face as he kissed her again. "Neil?" Alice said as she walked through the door. "I can’t begin to express how happy and relieved I am that thee is back. But we were told that thee had died when the ship sank? "I know Alice ... but there is no time now for explanations. Right now we need to worry about Christy. How long has she been sick? What happened to her?" Neil frantically asked as he applied cold towels to her head. "She has been ill for almost a month now. Dr. Davis has been by almost every week and we have been taking turns caring for her. It is in the Lord’s hands now. Dr. Davis said that there is nothing else he can do." Realizing that Dr. Davis was right Neil ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Alice ..." In almost a defeated voice. "What has happened here in since I left? Why is Bird’s Eye outside? How has Christy been?" The questions kept spinning through his head. "Neil, a lot has happened over the last several months but the one thing that has remained constant is Christy’s love for you." With that Alice took Neil’s hand and began to explain. Chapter 5 After Neil had listened to Alice tell the story of all that Christy had endured since he left for Scotland all he could do was sit back in amazement and stare at her sleeping in bed. It was beyond his comprehension how she managed to endure all that. He remembered how hard it was when he lost Margaret. He was devastated. But he and Margaret were never really in love . Christy and Neil were. He tired to imagine how it would feel if he heard that Christy had died. He couldn't even allow himself to think those thoughts. Especially with her being so sick now. "Alice, there is one think I don't understand . why was Bird's Eye sitting outside the cabin when I came back?" Alice laughed at the question. She realized that Neil had left knowing the old Bird's Eye but returned to find a very different man instead. "Does thee remember how you asked Bird's Eye to look after Christy? Well since thee left and especially after we heard word that thee had died . Bird's Eye has done more than look after her as thee asked. He has taken her in and watched her as a father would watch a daughter. Many nights thee would find Bird's Eye watching the schoolhouse as Christy stayed up grading papers. Or he would follow her when she went walking all night. In fact, it was he that was first able to get through to Christy after we heard thee had died." "Well I am amazed. I had no idea that Bird's Eye would look after he like that. I must remember to thank him." Neil sat smiling as he took Christy's hand in his own. "I will leave thee with Christy now. I am sure that thee has much she wishes to tell her." With that Alice stood up, placed her hand on Neil's shoulder and walked out of the room. Before she could make it down the stairs Neil caught up with her. "What do I say to he Alice? I don't even know where to begin." Neil starred at Alice, hoping she would give him an answer. "That is up to thee Neil. Christy has waited months to hear your voice. In fact she was the only person who believed thee would return. Anything thee can say to her will make her happy. She needs to hear your voice Neil, feel your touch. All the things that she has been dreaming out since you left. She needs you!" Alice turned and continued down the stairs. Neil walked back into the room. The candlelight that was next to the bed made Christy look more beautiful than even he remembered. HE sat down next to the bed, held her hand and began to speak, hoping that he would hear her. "Christy, my love. I need you to get well so that we can start our life together. Alice told me about what you went through while I was away. I am so sorry to have caused you so much pain. But I am here now . just as you knew I would be. I have to admit, I was afraid to return for fear that you would have moved away and feel in love with someone else. But now I realize how stupid I was to think that. You have loved me as no one ever has. As soon as you are better we are going to get married. And I promise never to leave your side again." Neil laid his head against Christy's hand that was resting on the bed and cried. Somewhere deep within myself I could hear Neil. 'I can hear his voice. I know that it must be him. Lord, I have wait so long to hear his voice and feel his touch. Please help me to get well so I can be with him again. Can't you tell from his voice that he needs me? And I need him too." Christy tried hard to open her eyes, speak or move, anything to let Neil know that she would be all right but she couldn't. All she could do was lay there and pray. A few hours later Neil began to examine Christy to see if there was any progress. Upon examination he noticed that her fever had gone down drastically. In fact it was almost back to normal. "It's a miracle. Not 2 hours ago she had a raging fever but now the fever is gone and she is getting some color back. Thank you Lord. You never cease to amaze me." Neil spent the night by Christy's side praying and watching her. Around midnight he dozed off. AS the light from the rising sun shone into the room to announce a new day Christy was able to open her eyes. Fear crept over her as she scanned the room. A fear that she had imagined hearing his voice and felt his touch as she had so many times before but this time she saw his - his beautiful face that she had longed to see for so long. With all the strength she could muster up she reached over to him and touched his face. Almost as a reassurance to herself that he was there, that he wasn't a figment of her imagination. But indeed he was real. A smile crept across Neil's face as Christy touched him. He instantly woke up and tears filled his eyes as he looked at her smiling back at him. Within seconds he was at her side, kissing her hands. "Lass I thought that I had lost you. I love you so much . I am sorry for everything you have been through. I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." Neil kissed her gently on the lips. "Is there anything I can do for you my love?" He asked as he held her hand in his own. "Where?" Was all I could say? "Where what Lass?" Neil was perplexed by my question. "Where is everyone? Is that what you want to know?" I realized that he had no idea what I wanted to know. So I tried again. "Where were you?" Neil sat dumbfounded. "I knew you would want to know that. I guess I wasn't prepared for you to ask so soon. Let me see if I can explain it to you." Neil searched for the right words to explain why he hadn't returned. Alice told me that you received word that the ship I was on sunk and that I was lost. Well the truth is . the ship did sink. Well maybe I need to explain that too. About half way back from Scotland there was an explosion on board unfortunately it happened in the middle of the night. I was awake with a sick child when the explosion happened. Together with the father of the child we tried to get as many people as we could in lifeboats. But the water was so cold and there were so many people trying to get into the boats that only a few stayed a float." Neil paused to make sure that I was grasping all that he was saying. By this time Alice, David, Fairlight and Bird's Eye were all standing in the door listening to the store. "Luckily myself, the family I was with and a few others managed to keep too many people out of the boat. We rowed the boat as far away from the sinking ship as possible. But we had no idea, which way we were heading. Those were the scariest days just floating in the water with no idea if we would be rescued or float ashore. And even if we floated ashore we had no idea which direction we were floating so who knew which shore we would float to if we were that lucky. A few days after the ship sank we came to shore. But no one knew where we were. Several of the small children who were on the lifeboat were sick because that hadn't eaten in several days. A few of the other men went to search for help. I stayed behind to take care of the children. When the men returned with help we were all taken to a local church until we could reach our families. It appeared that we were in Maine. The town we were in didn't have a phone so I couldn't' call the mission. But with the smallest child still not recovering, as I would have liked I stayed put and took care of him. As soon as I could I borrowed a horse and rode to the train station and came straight to El Pano. I stayed in El Pano for a few weeks." I was shocked at his last words. "But why didn't you come home right away? Why would you stay in El Pano hen you knew that we must have been thinking the worse?" I was crushed to hear that he had been so close to home but didn't come back. "I saw you and David at the station in El Pano when I first arrived. I must admit that I assumed that he had finally won your heart now that I was gone. I thought you had moved on. I didn't want to cause you more pain. I tried to walk away without letting you see me and when I turned around again I saw you in David's arms. That confirmed my fear that you were with him. I thought that I would wait a few weeks, come here get my things and then move away. I couldn't live with seeing you with David, or anyone, everyday. So I thought it would be easier if I moved away." I was crying after listening to everything that he said. "How could you make that kind of decision for me without knowing the truth?" With that I kept crying. Trying to find the words to say to make him understand. "Neil." David took this chance to clear up the misunderstanding at the station. "When you saw Christy in my arms it was because she had just fainted. She was chasing someone in the crowd, which we now know was you." Neil sat there trying to calm me down. "Lass, I had no idea that that was what was going on. I am so sorry for not coming home sooner. I should have never presumed that I knew what was best for both of us. Especially since we have been through so much already. I promise that I will make all this up to you. If you just give me the chance." "Neil, you don't need to make up anything. All that matters is that you are home now. That you are alive." I smiled as I looked into his eyes. "As soon as possible I want to marry you and forget that all this happened. I want to be your wife. To stand by your side forever." "Lass that is the best thing I have heard in a long while . since you said you would marry me." He leaned over and kissed my head. "A soon as you are better I want to see you walking down the aisle and into my arms." It took all my strength to lean forward and kiss Neil as I longed to do for so many months. Everyone in the room was crying to see us finally reunited. It took only a day for everyone in the cove to hear that Neil had returned and that I was on the mend. And within a few days I was sitting up and even allowed to venture downstairs for a few hours a day. On one particularly nice afternoon Neil and I were sitting on the porch talking about our future and what we had been doing over the last several months. Neil was telling me all about Scotland when we heard someone running towards the cabin. Without any warning a small figure jumped up through the bushes into Neil. Chapter 6 Coming Soon!