..........................
DISCLAIMER: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by
the LeSourd family.  We are in no way seeking profit or credit for her
story.  We are continuing the story of Christy for our own amusement
only.  Any additions in story line and characters were invented by the writers.
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Randomfic: Confessions
Authors:   Michelle W. and Annie
Setting:   This short story takes place sometime after the TV episode, 
           The Road Home.
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from upstairs I heard an incessant banging on the front door, then Ruby
Mae's heavy footsteps.  “Law me!  I'm a comin'.  Don't pound hit down.” 
There was the sound of a muffled male voice and then the girl loudly
summoning me.

Panic clutched at my throat when I heard who was waiting for me
downstairs.  Not today!  Why couldn't he have waited until tomorrow?  Or
the weekend?  Or even until next month?  A small giggle slipped past the
lump in my throat at the last thought - I was being ridiculous and I knew
it.  Squaring my shoulders, I resolutely opened my bedroom door and made
my way down to the parlor.

Neil was wearing a dark charcoal-colored overcoat I'd never seen before,
and I could see his white collar and necktie where his scarf had opened. 
His hair was neatly combed, making him even more handsome.  I wondered if
I looked nice enough in my best navy blue dress.  He was smiling as
though to tease me, but when his jaw sagged and his eyes widened, I knew
I had succeeded in my choice of clothes.

"You look," Neil said, and swallowed before he continued.  "...lovely."

"Yes ma'am," Ruby Mae chimed in, "you certainly be a sight to behold! 
Why, you and the Doc look so fancy-fine, gets me a-wonderin' where ye be
goin' in the Cove lookin' all citified and such."  Arms crossed, she
looked at us both expectantly.

"Well, Ruby Mae,"  I began, trying desperately to suppress a smile at
Neil's exasperated expression, "I'm afraid I cannot help you there.  You
see, Doctor MacNeill has insisted on keeping our destination a secret
even from me."  My smile broke loose as Ruby Mae sighed deeply, clutching
her hands under her chin.

"You surely know how to court a gal, Doc MacNeill."  She watched as he
helped me into my coat, and then sighed again before leaving the parlor,
no doubt to spread the news that Neil and I were now officially courting.

Neil had remained serious as long as Ruby Mae was with us, but when we
were alone his stern look dissolved.  “Come now, Miss Huddleston,” he
said, “you weren't completely truthful with Ruby Mae, were you?”

"Well," I said, trying to calm the flutters that had returned to my
stomach, "I know you asked me to wear something nice, and you said I
should dress warmly."

He raised an eyebrow expressively, waiting for me to continue.

"And you said we'd be going for a ride on the next bright sunny day," I
said, "but you didn't exactly tell me where we were going."

"'Tis a beautiful day, isn't it?"  Neil took my arm and led me to the
window, where we could see the bright yellows of autumn flared across the
mission yard to the distant mountains.  The scenery was beautiful, but I
was very much aware of Neil as he stood close beside me, still gently
holding my elbow.  I hadn't expected our courtship to make me feel so
flustered.  I moved over to the French doors, breaking his hold on my
arm.

"There's a bit of breeze now," I commented absently as I toyed with my
necklace.  Neil made no reply, nor did he move from his position in front
of the window.  We lapsed into an uneasy silence.

"Christy, have you changed your mind?"

Slightly startled, I turned to face him.  "No, Neil, I still want to go
for our-"

"That's not what I meant," he said as he came to stand in front of me. 
"What I mean is, have you changed your mind about my courting you?"

Dumbfounded, I could only stare at Neil in response to his question.

"Be honest with yourself," he continued, taking my silence as permission
to continue.  "You haven't been yourself since I called your father last
week.  We hardly talk, and when we do you cannot put two sentences
together, much less look at me."  Neil ran his hand through his hair as
he turned once again to the autumn scene before us.  "I would rather we
simply be friends," he said softly, "than to lose my dearest friend
because of our courtship."

My nervous flutters had been nothing compared to the knot of guilt that
tightened my throat.  I'd been foolish to imagine I could hide my secret
from Neil - I should have known he would notice everything.  Even worse,
he'd interpreted my skittish behavior in the worst possible way.  I
searched for words to explain, but my mind was no more able to move than
my eyes, which were locked onto his face.

I was still rooted in place when Neil spoke again.  "It's all right,
Christy.  I shouldn't have rushed you into this.  I'll see you on
Sunday," he said, moving toward the door.  The sadness in his voice was
painful to me.

"No!  Don't go - please."  I rushed after him, grabbing his sleeve. 
"It's not what you think.  I do want you to court me."

"You do?"

"Very much."

"But why do you avoid me?  Have I been too forward?"

I took a deep breath.  I would have to confess everything, to my
mortification.

"Let's go to the gazebo," I said, needing some time to order my thoughts.
Neil only looked more flummoxed as he quietly opened the door.  However,
before we could step outside, the breeze carried in a swirl of leaves and
deposited them around our feet.

"What a mess!" I exclaimed as I grabbed the broom kept by the door and
began attacking the leaves.  But I didn't get far.  Neil took the broom
away from me, took my hand gently in his and shut the door before leading
me back into the parlor.

"Christy," he said as we both sat on the loveseat, "you won't bring order
to those leaves or to your thoughts that way.  Just tell me, please, what
is the matter."  His gentle tone was like a healing balm to my worried
mind, but I could not bring myself to look at him.  Instead I focused on
our joined hands.

"When one has a bitter pill to swallow," Neil said, cupping my cheek with
his hand, "it's best done quickly."  Forced now to meet his gaze, so full
of concern and questions, I felt my last vestiges of pride slip away.

"Neil, I wasn't completely honest with you about something. I - I..."  I
took a steadying breath.  "I haven't told Miss Alice about our
courtship."

I'd been dreading this moment, and Neil's reaction didn't reassure me. 
His hand slipped away from my face, and he leaned back in the seat.  As
the awkward silence stretched on, his eyes remained on mine.  I'd hurt
him, and I could read the question in his mind: Why?

“I meant to tell her,” I said, when I could wait no longer for him to
speak.  “I was looking for the right time.  We've been so busy, with-”

“The right time?”  His voice was low.  “Is there a wrong time for good
news?”

“No, of course not.  I wanted to tell her.  I wanted her to be the first
to know, but I thought I should tell her when we had a chance to talk it
over, to - to explain things.”

“Explain?  Christy, were you afraid to tell her?”

"Neil-"  My throat constricted.  Though Neil had sounded annoyed, I was
relieved when he took my hand again. I felt his thumb brushing slowly
against mine as he gazed solemnly at me.

“Is it because of Margaret?” he asked.  “I thought we'd dealt with this.”

"We have dealt with it."

I could tell Neil was trying very hard to reign in his frustration as he
slowly exhaled.

"Then what is the problem?" he asked, his eyes continuing to search mine.
"Why haven't you told Alice?"

"I am afraid the blame lies with me."  Both Neil and I jumped at the
sound of Miss Alice's voice.  I saw Neil stiffen as she entered the room,
but rather than let go of my hand he held on more firmly as we rose from
our seat.  My nervousness only increased at her serious expression.

“Alice,” he said, “we need to talk to you.“

“Yes,” she said, holding her hand up to silence him.  She came into the
parlor and seated herself across from us, waiting until we settled
ourselves on the loveseat again.  Even then she sat quietly for nearly a
minute before speaking.  “First, I must say I have not been blind to the
love that has been growing between you.  God has truly prepared each of
you for the other, and for that I am happy.”

I felt an immense relief, as though I was finally able to take a deep
breath after swimming under water too long.  The pressure of Neil's hand
was reassuring.  However, Alice remained solemn.

“I must apologize to both of you,” she said, “especially to thee,
Christy.”

“Apologize?”  Neil looked at me quizzically, and then returned his
attention to Miss Alice as she continued.

“Before Margaret returned,” she said, “while we thought her drowned, I
knew that you cared for each other, and to my shame I resented it.”

“Oh, Miss Alice,” I said.

“Christy, my dear,” she continued, “you have always been sensitive to
other's feelings.  Since my daughter's passing I have avoided speaking of
her, and I see that I selfishly kept thee from opening thy heart to me. 
I never allowed thee to mention Margaret, let alone thy feelings for
Neil.”

“And what has made you change your mind now?” Neil asked.

"It would seem," the Quaker woman continued, "that everyone saw the
relationship developing between the two of you before either of you were
aware of it." 

"I wouldn't say neither of us was aware of it, Alice," Neil said quietly.
My eyes widened as the meaning of his words registered.  "Remember," he
said to her, "the conversation we had shortly before we first learned
Margaret was alive?  I had come by the mission as Fairlight had fallen
ill...." 

His voice trailed off as a rather unsettled expression came upon Miss
Alice's face.  Glancing over at me, he gave my hand a quick squeeze
before speaking again.

"I'll not repeat what was said in anger, Alice; we've made our peace with
one another.  The point is, both you and I already knew then there was
something more between Christy and me.  But with Margaret's return it
became impossible for either Christy or me to act on what everyone else
may - or may not - have seen.  So I did the only thing I could do: I
tried to bury any feelings beyond friendship which I had for her."

In the ensuing silence I tried to respond, to put words to something I
found I could barely wrap my mind around.  My earlier worry over my
confession to Neil paled in comparison to the confusion I felt over the
revelations now laid out before me.

How could I have been so blind?  Suddenly a multitude of things Neil had
said and done during our acquaintance were revealed in a completely
different light.  He'd loved me for a long time - long before there was
any hope of telling it, long before I returned the feeling.  I found I
needed to hold onto his hand with both of mine.

"But that's all past," Neil said.  "Christy and I have come to an
understanding, and she needs to put things right with you.  I thought it
was enough to ask her parents' permission, but I should have known your
blessing was just as important."

I was shocked when Miss Alice laughed aloud.  She'd been so serious
during our conversation that I was completely unprepared for her mirth. 
Her relief was echoed in Neil's chuckle as he relaxed beside me.  I was
still staring open-mouthed when Miss Alice crossed the room, took my face
in her hands, and kissed both my cheeks.

"You have my blessing and my prayers and all my best wishes," she said. 
I stood and hugged her.  She returned my embrace fiercely.  "You dear
girl," she whispered.

A cough from Neil separated us.  Before any of us could speak, the door
banged open.

"Are y'all still here?" Ruby Mae asked.  "'Scuse me, ma'am, but I thought
you was already gone out.  All that fine courtin' weather's goin' to
waste."

"Thank you, Ruby Mae," I said.  "We were just, umm-"

"You're absolutely right, Ruby Mae," Neil said, presenting his arm to me.
"We were just on our way, weren't we, Miss Huddleston?"

"Yes," I said, twining my arm with his, "we were."

The End