Title: As Long As You Follow Author: Kimberly H. Usual Disclaimer applies as follows: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by the LeSourd Family. We are in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. We are continuing the story of Christy for our own amusement only. Any additions in story line and characters were invented by the writers. The content of each story is the responsibility of the individual writer. -------------------------------------------- As Long As You Follow Chapter 1 The early morning light cast its first fingers of brightness across Neil's bare feet. He leaned against the doorjamb of his bedroom, watching his wife sleep. Christy had thrown one arm across his side of the bed, the other wrapped tightly around his pillow, a frown flitting over her unconscious features. She seemed rather unhappy about his absence. Stepping lightly--and carefully avoiding that particular squeaky board--Neil crossed the room to his wife's side. He leaned over her, brushing a stray wave of hair from her brow. His lips found his way to her forehead just as quickly, and when he backed away, he found himself looking at heavy-lidded blue eyes. "Neil--where've you been?" He smiled at her grogginess, and her question told him that she'd not yet found the note he'd left for her downstairs. "Rode out to the Spencer cabin--Least'un took a fall from the loft early this morning." Christy was suddenly very awake. "Oh! Is he hurt?" Neil eased himself onto the bed, stretching out beside her. "Not badly. Has a good-sized 'pump-knot' on his head, but other than that, he's well." "I can't believe I didn't hear you leave. When was it?" "Oh, it was early--probably around three this morning. He fell when he was coming down to go to the privy. Jeb sent Zady to come for me. I heard her knocking downstairs, so I got dressed and carried her back with me on Charlie." "Why didn't you wake me up?" Neil grinned broadly at his young bride. "Now, Christy--you were sleeping so soundly I didn't have the heart to wake you. Besides, you needed the rest. You haven't been sleeping much lately." The last sentence was punctuated with a wink. Christy gaped at him. "Neil MacNeill! Don't you dare say such things!" Bright blue eyes cast a sidelong glance in her direction. "And if I do?" "Then I'll--I'll..." Neil turned over suddenly, grabbing her and pinning her to the bed. She yelped. "You'll what, Mrs. MacNeill?" His eyes were twinkling. "I'll--I'll have to make you be quiet." "Aye--and how do you plan on doing that? Make me write sentences on my slate after class, Teacher?" It was her turn to grin. "No--Doctor--I had something else in mind for you." "I'm intrigued, ma'am." She kissed him--suddenly, fiercely, and without any warning whatsoever. Neil lay back on the bed. "Well, Mrs. MacNeill, I'd say your plan worked. But I must warn you--with that as my punishment for teasing, I may become worse than Creed Allen." His comment earned him a swift whack on the arm. "Hush, Neil--you've got other things to do." "Aye, ma'am..." ***** Their late breakfast finished, the newlyweds sat on the riverside bench, watching the water splash and tumble over the well-worn stones. Their honeymoon over, Thanksgiving past (which was the best yet for each half of the couple), they had Christmas waiting just around the corner. Everything was passing so quickly--Christy realized with shock that they had been married for nearly two months. In her mind, it simply did not seem possible. Neil reassured her, blaming her feeling of fleeting time on the short days of winter. "Just wait til spring," he'd said time and again, "and you'll be thinking that the days aren't passing fast enough." Spring. Oh, how she wished it would come. But she knew that winter had not even begun yet, and she dreaded it more this year than any other before. Perhaps it was the strange queasiness she was feeling...she really didn't know. Chapter 2 Two days before Christmas, Christy stood on the steps of the mission with Alice and David. Word had come from Raven Gap that one of the local women had gone into early labor. Her child had not turned, and there was no midwife nearby to help. Neil was loading Charlie's saddlebags with supplies and extra blankets. Turning a wary eye to the cloud-covered gray sky above them, he said, "Christy--I want you to stay here. Those are snow clouds--low ones. It'll be here soon." He looked over to Alice. "I'll be lucky to make it to Raven Gap before it hits." Alice came down the steps, taking Charlie's reins. "Neil, I'm going with you." She cut him off before he could interject. "No excuses, Neil. Thee knows as well as I that it is foolhardy to travel these mountains alone in a snowstorm. I'm going...you'll need a good nurse." Neil stood silent a moment, glancing up at the sky again. "Fine--get your things, and be quick about it. We haven't much time." No more than fifteen minutes had passed before Alice was ready. Goldie was laden with more supplies, among them extra water, dried meat, matches, and more blankets. As Alice adjusted Goldie's stirrups, Neil climbed the steps to where Christy stood, her face a study of carefully restrained fear. He pulled her close, wrapping her in his warm embrace. "We'll be fine, lass...don't worry. Alice and I'll be back before you know it--then we can have Christmas like we planned." She nuzzled his jacket where it lay over his heart. "I know...but I can't help worrying." She looked up into his eyes. "Neil--please--let me go home...I--" "No, Christy--you're better off here with Grantland." "Neil--I'd be fine...everything I'd need is there...there's water, and plenty of wood by the stable...I have food--Neil, please...let me go home." Her blue eyes shone with tears. Neil swallowed hard, sighing deeply. "All right. Let David take you home on Prince. Leave Buttons here...she'll not be as frightened in the stable with other horses. Stay inside unless it's absolutely necessary to go out--for wood, nothing else. Don't go far, and don't go out at night. You can get lost very quickly in a storm. Promise me, Christy." She hugged him tightly. "I promise, Neil." "Good lass. Now hurry. Alice and I better get a move on." He raised his hand to her cheek, brushing it softly. "I love you, Christy...I'll be home soon." "I love you, too, Neil...be careful." A quick kiss, and he was down the steps and on Charlie's back. She watched them disappear into the forest, never moving from her vantage point on the porch. "Christy? We'd better go." David held Prince's reins tightly as Christy mounted up behind him. "Just hang on to me. I promise you won't fall off." He tried to keep his voice playful, but he couldn't disguise the concern he felt as he looked up through the naked tree limbs above them. The sky was growing darker by the minute--if they hurried, he might make it back to the mission before the storm hit full force. He could only pray for enough light to make it back... ***** David dropped her off right at the cabin's steps. "I don't want MacNeill to blame me if you get lost between Prince and the door," he'd said, and smiling, nudged Prince back in the direction of the mission as Christy disappeared inside. Once he crossed the river, David urged Prince into a gallop, grateful that Christy could not see how worried he really was. *God, take care of the mother and the child--and bring Alice and the Doctor home safely..." He made it as far as the O'Teale cabin when the blizzard hit. By the time he reached the stable, the snow was already a few inches deep. He prayed harder. ***** Christy sat alone in the cabin as the third day alone drew to a wintry white close. The snow had finally stopped earlier in the evening, but the wind was still rough, blowing the already fallen snow up and around. By now it was above her knees, and the drifts at her waist--some deeper. She'd never seen a storm with such force--and the fact made her worry more than ever. Christmas was forgotten--lost in the white haze swirling outside the windows. Climbing the stairs to their bedroom, Christy felt the heavy weight of her concern, mixed with fatigue, descend upon her. Crawling into the warm bed, she curled up on Neil's side and drifted off into fitful sleep. Chapter 3 By the fifth day, the wind had died down, and the sun was beginning to break through the heavy clouds covering the valleys. Christy had been up for hours, now dressing warmly for her first real foray into the whiteout landscape. The small stockpile of wood Neil kept by the bottom step in winter was gone--she'd hoped it wouldn't come to this: moving wood from the stack by the stable to the porch steps. It wasn't far, but it would take some time, and moving around in snow this deep would take even longer. She wished again that Neil would come home. ***** Two figures on horseback, thickly wrapped in blankets against the cold, slowly made their way down a steep mountain path. They traveled very slowly, the snow making it near impossible to determine where the trail lay, and any obstacles rendered invisible. The stillness of the world around them permitted occasional speech--"We should be there by daybreak tomorrow, Alice. I hope they came out all right..." ***** Her back was aching. Her arms cried out in protest of carrying even one more log to the ever-growing pile at the steps. Her head pounded from breathing in the bitingly cold air. *Just one or two more trips...that's all I'll need..." She stooped to lift the log from the pile, snow slipping around her cuffs and into her gloves, numbing her fingers further. It slipped from her hands, and she jumped, quickly sidestepping the falling wood that the log brought down with it. Frustration began to gnaw at her, and blinking back tears, she knelt in the snow to heave the log back into her arms, holding it against her chest. She carefully picked her way back along the path she had worn out, but missed a step--falling headlong into a drift by the wall. Dazed, she scrambled around until she could gain a footing. Standing slowly, she brushed herself off and headed for the warmth of the fire, leaving the piece of wood to be found when the snow melted. ***** Shedding her clothes by the fire, Christy draped them over chair backs before racing back upstairs to her warm room. A nagging voice in her head kept blaming Neil for her situation--blaming him for not making sure she'd have enough wood to see her through the storm...but her heart told her to remember that Neil didn't know the storm would be so long, that he would never leave her to fend for herself on purpose... *Besides, * she thought, *I asked him to let me come back. It's not his fault...* She pulled the blankets up tightly around her neck and sleep claimed her. ***** Searing pain shot across her abdomen, jolting her into consciousness. Agony doubled her, and had anyone passed by the cabin so late at night, a high, keening wail would have greeted their ears in the deathly stillness of winter. Christy had never felt such pain--it immobilized her, freeing her only to clutch helplessly at her belly and rock back and forth in the bed...Her sobbing cry of desperation reached no one's ears--"What's happening to me?" She slipped back into oblivion still holding herself tightly, Neil's name pouring from her lips over and over, like a charm against the pain of the world. Chapter 4 Alice reined Goldie in, pulling the mare to a halt in the mission yard. Glancing over her shoulder, she spoke. "Will thee be going home directly, Neil?" "Aye. Christy's been alone for almost a week now. I'd best not linger here. She'll be waiting for me." "Very well. Godspeed, Neil. Give Mrs. MacNeill my greetings." "I will, Alice." He nudged Charlie onward through the snow, throwing his hand up in a wave as he rode out of the yard and back into the forest. The predawn light was dim, casting the first faint shadows across the snow. All the world was still, every sound muffled--no crunch of footsteps, no birds, not even any wind. Only the sound of Charlie's breathing broke the spell. ***** Neil sensed something was amiss before the cabin was even in sight. It was not that he had seen anything wrong--more what he did not see: smoke. There was no smoke coming from the chimney. No fire. Fear tore into him suddenly--if she were out in the snow, he'd never find her, not even if she were lying at his feet. He was off Charlie's back in an instant, wading through the drifts in a vain attempt to reach his wife more quickly. He flung open the door, tearing away the scarf wrapped around his face. His breath puffed out in small clouds. The fire was out completely--no embers, nothing. He put his hands to the ashes. Cold. It'd been out for some time. Racing up the stairs, he pushed against the door. It moved a little, then stopped. He pushed again, and he felt whatever had been holding it closed give way. He stepped into the room, fearing what he'd find. He sensed her presence before he even saw her. Christy sat in his spindle-backed chair in the corner, huddled in a blanket. Crouching at her feet, he took one small hand between his--ice-cold. She was pale, lips drawn tightly against her teeth, eyes wide and unseeing. But she was alive. He began to chafe her hand, trying to warm her. "Christy? Lass--what's wrong? Why did you not keep the fire going?" She wouldn't look at him, only stared past him, eyes focused on something behind him. Slowly, he turned, following her eyes. Their bed. *Oh, dear God--* Blood. The sheets had blood all over them. Her hand fell from his as she stood, pulling the blanket more closely to her body. She moved to stand by the bed, again voiceless. Again only staring down at the sheets. He took her in his arms, turning her away from the sight. "Christy--my God--what happened? Did someone--Christy--please--speak to me--tell me what happened!" She murmured something unintelligible, her face buried against his chest. "Christy--tell me..." "I lost it," she whispered. "I didn't even know..." "Lost what? Christy--you have to tell me what you mean--" "You were a father, Neil. I was pregnant...but I lost it." Her knees buckled and she slid to the floor--her sobbing pierced his heart. She'd been pregnant--and he was miles away delivering another woman's child while his own wife lay in their bed in her own blood. He fell to his knees, every part of him crying out in horror and anger at the injustice, at the cruelty visited upon their home. A child. He would have had a child. His young bride would have been heavy and vibrant and moody and perfect carrying that baby. But no more--God took that away. The benevolent God he'd come to trust in had taken away their baby. And despite knowing otherwise, he could only say one thing to his Father--"Why?" No answer came. ***** Chapter 5 Neil carried Christy downstairs, gently placing her in a chair close to the fireplace. He knelt at the hearth, stacking wood in a large pile before lighting it. As the blaze grew and the room began to warm, Christy began to cry softly. He turned to find her rocking herself in the chair, her knees pulled up under her chin, trying to pull herself into a tiny ball. His heart broke further at the sight of her in such pain--and knowing he was powerless to help her in her grief. Rising from the hearth, he picked her up--then, sitting down himself, cradled her against his chest. "Christy--oh, love--Christy, I wish I'd been here for you…I'm so sorry, lass…" He could only hold her close as she wept. ***** As her tears began to subside, she spoke. "Neil--why? Why did it happen? What did I do?" He stroked her hair as he contemplated her question--realizing that his words could hurt her further. "It could have been anything, Christy--or nothing at all…it was not your fault, love--I promise you that." "How do you know, Neil? Can you tell?" "Well--I'll be truthful, Christy--no. I can't really say. I don't have that sort of training. But I do know that sometimes, if a woman does something that causes strain to her body, she can--" "The wood." Christy's voice was low. "I shouldn't have carried the wood…" "Christy, what do you mean?" Wild blue eyes focused on him. "I had to get wood--I ran out, and had to get more…I carried wood for hours, then I fell…" "Christy--no! You didn't do this--" "If I hadn't gone out for wood--" "You'd have frozen! Christy--listen to me…" Holding her chin in his hand, he forced her to meet his gaze. "It wasn't your doing--these things happen…no one really knows why…sometimes--sometimes the baby's not…perfect…and the body knows this--and--it won't let it keep growing." "No, Neil--our baby was perfect--I know it…it's my fault it'll never be born!" She ripped away from him, running back to their room, her blanket falling away from her, revealing her ruined nightgown. Neil wept. ***** Days passed, and Neil wouldn't leave the cabin--couldn't leave Christy there alone. She remained in their room, sitting by the window, staring out at the snow. Her thoughts whirled in her mind, images of the barren landscape outside mingling with visions of a future devoid of children. She was a failure--the one thing her body was designed to do, it could not. As the New Year arrived, Neil watched her begin to whither. The young, vital woman that had so quickly captured his heart was fast fading away--she refused his company, ate only enough to survive, and never spoke. He'd burned the sheets the night of his return--along with her nightgown--but the images were locked in his mind. How many times had he wakened in the night to her sobbing? How many times had he relived finding her in his nightmares? Only a week had gone by, but already he'd lost count. Prayer had brought no relief, and there was no one to counsel him--no one else in the Cove knew what had happened. Somehow, he had to see Alice--but looking again at his grief-stricken wife, he wondered when he'd be able to reach her. Until then, he would stay near Christy--encourage her, be a helpmate to her. As her husband, he'd promised to stand by in sickness and in health…he would not leave this cabin. Chapter 6 Early the next morning, loud pounding woke Neil from a restless slumber. Heaving his fatigued body from the chair closest to the fire, he staggered to the door. It swung open to reveal Alice Henderson and Jeb Spencer--standing close together, each was swathed in layers of clothing and blankets as insulation against the cold. "Alice--Jeb! What on earth are you doing out in this?" Opening the door wider, he motioned for them to enter. "Here, come in--you need to warm yourselves." He pulled his chair away from the fireside, freeing space for them to stand as close as they liked to the warmth. As the pair began to thaw, they removed layer after layer, draping sodden articles over the broom handle Neil had balanced between two chairs nearby. Alice stood close to the fire, rubbing her hands together vigorously before turning to warm her backside. Finally comfortable, she spoke. "Neil--how is thee and Christy? We'd begun to worry--usually thee is already out checking on patients after a storm such as this." Neil made no sound, sitting down heavily in an armchair across the room. Jeb immediately recognized that something was sorely wrong. "Doc--has sumpin' happen'd with the two of ya? Cuz ya shore ain't a-actin' right..." Neil looked at the ceiling above--his bedroom was directly overhead. Rising suddenly, he took the key to his laboratory from its hiding place and unlocked the door. Motioning to the others, they entered, and he closed the door behind them. "It's Christy--she...it was...Alice--I wasn't here..." "Neil--what on earth do you mean? What's happened to Christy?" She grabbed hold of his arm, panic suddenly striking her. "She was pregnant, Alice--I didn't know...she didn't even know it herself..." "Oh, God--" "She lost it...I found her when we got back from Raven Gap...there was blood...I've seen it before, but--" Neil choked, tears threatening to overwhelm him. "But thee was not prepared for it to be thy own wife..." "No...I couldn't help her..." Suddenly he lashed out. "What kind of doctor am I if I can't even care for my own wife and child? Tell me, Alice! Tell me!" He rushed forward, sweeping dozens of glass prescription bottles off the shelf and onto the floor with a terrible crash. Dropping to his knees, he wept openly, oblivious of the splinters of glass under his feet. Jeb crouched in front of him. "Doc--yore knowin' that yore a good man--and that ya'd do anythin' fer yer people. It warn't yore fault ya warn't here fer Miz Christy...it's the Almighty's doin'." "Jeb is right, Neil--thee could not have prevented this...it is beyond any man to change God's plan..." "Alice--she won't let me near her...she won't eat...she refuses my comfort--for God's sake, she cries herself to sleep every night, and when I reach out for her, she pulls away..." Jeb nodded silently. "'Twas that way with Fairlight. She lost a babe when we were but young'uns ourselves. She pert near died o'grieving fer that there baby...'twas a long time afore she'd share a bed with me...having John wuz the onliest thing to stop the ailin' in her heart." Alice, one hand resting on Neil's shoulder, glanced up at Jeb. "Mister Spencer--thee is right! Christy feels very much alone right now--perhaps an opportunity with Fairlight may help...Neil, what does thee think?" Wiping his eyes, Neil threw up his hands in defeat. "I cannot say, Alice--but I am willing to try. I'm losing her..." Lest he should begin to cry again, he cut off his words. Alice grew silent, her eyes riveted to the door. Glancing heavenward, she nodded near-imperceptibly. "Neil...may I see her?" Neil's eyes narrowed, trying to determine her agenda. Slowly, he nodded, taking Jeb's proffered hand as he rose to his feet. "Of course...follow me." ***** Chapter 7 Alice rapped softly. "Christy? May I come in? It's Alice..." Hearing no response, she gently pushed open the door. The sight before her caused a startled gasp to escape her throat. Christy lay in bed, seemingly swallowed up by the thick pile of blankets covering her small form. Usually shiny and full, her hair hung dully around her face, unkempt. Her skin was unnaturally pale, drawn taut over her features. The eyes were the worst. The once vibrant blue was empty, lifeless, cloudy. How such a drastic change could occur in such a short time was beyond comprehension. "Christy?" Those haunted blue eyes dragged themselves from the view outside and dropped on her. Alice felt a faint shudder climb her spine. She'd never seen a mother deal with her loss this way--scream, yes...weep for months on end, yes...even so far as to curse God, yes...but never this waking death that lay in the bed before her. Alice reached out to God--seeking assistance...her silent, fervent prayer was rewarded with a warmth stealing through her veins, and she felt God's presence in the very room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Alice took Christy's hand in her own. "Christy--Neil has told me of thy...loss...I want you to know that I am here to help thee, comfort thee..." "God killed my baby." The sudden, blasphemous statement made Alice reel. She was totally unprepared for this kind of reaction--anger at God was normal, but this...this was too much. Grasping at what little she could, Alice reached out again. "Christy…no--God did not kill your child..." "Yes, He did. He punished me for not being careful with myself. I hurt my baby--so He took it away." "Christy...thee knows that God has a greater plan for all of us...perhaps thy child was not meant to be born--it is God's will--" "God's will was for me to have a baby, Miss Alice...but I ruined it...so he killed it...I killed it..." Her eyes were wide, blazing in the faint light. "Christy--did thee know that thee was in a delicate condition?" Confusion fell on Christy, her brows furrowing. "No...I've never been--predictable--and Neil and I have only been married a little while...I thought it was too soon..." Alice touched her cheek gently. "Then thee did no wrong--thee did not know..." "But I should have...I might have done something--" "There is nothing you could have done, Christy!" Alice cupped Christy's face in her two hands. "You did not know--you could not have known--and if you had, you couldn't have changed it." She sighed. "It was God's will." Christy jerked her head away. "No! It was NOT God's will--God did this to punish me! It's my fault!" "Christy--" "Go away, Miss Alice! I don't want God--he took my baby...my perfect baby..." Alice reached for her again, only to be rebuffed, and have Christy's back turned on her. ***** "Alice? What happened?" Neil stood by the fire with Jeb, a questioning look on his face. "Nothing--she won't listen to me. She blames God--and herself--for what happened." Wiping away a tear, she continued. "I can't reach her...but maybe Fairlight can." Jeb nodded in agreement. "Fairlight's always a-jabberin' about how she 'n Miz Christy git along so well, how they's "best friends" she calls it...Doc, I'll do what I kin fer ya. Miz Henderson 'n I'll git back to the mission-house, 'n when I git home, I'll tell Fairlight." Shaking hands, Neil said "Tell her to come when she can, Jeb. Don't let her brave the snow today--but tell her to hurry." "Shorely, Doc." "I'll remember thee in my prayers, Neil." "Thank you, Alice." The door shut with a thud, and the cabin was silent once more. ***** Chapter 8 "Fairlight! Woman--where are ya?" "Right near to ya, Jeb Spencer." Jumping at the closeness of her voice, Jeb looked up. Fairlight was in the loft, grinning down at him. "Least'un wanted me to come up here 'n play. So I did." The dark look on his face squashed her light mood. "Jeb--sumpin's ailin' ya. What be wrong?" "Git down here, Fairlight. I ain't a-tellin' ya til ya do." Fairlight disappeared for an instant, then reappeared as she descended the ladder. Reaching the bottom, Jeb took her by the hand and pulled her to the far side of the room, away from the children's ears. "Hit's Miz Christy." "What happen'd? Is she hurtin'?" "Aye--she lost a babe." Fairlight gasped, her hands covering her face. "No--not Miz Christy...Jeb--is she--" "She's cooped up in that there cabin with the Doc. She ain't eatin', and she ain't a-talkin' neither. She jest sits in bed and stares out the winder. Miz Henderson tried gittin' through to her, but it didn't do no good. She told her "God kilt my baby" and told her to git out." "Poor Christy...what they gonna do, Jeb?" "Doc wants ya to come talk to her. I told 'im about you losing your'n, 'n how you didn't git no better til John wuz birthed here in this cabin." Jeb twisted his hat in his hands as he spoke. Seeing his anxiety, Fairlight reached for his hands, smiling at him despite her tear-stained face. "Jeb--yore my man. I don't mind none that you told the Doc. Hit wuz a long time ago. We got plenty o' healthy young'uns now. It don't hurt me none like it did. I ain't gonna fergit, but I ain't gonna stop livin', neither. You know what I say about that." Jeb began to smile at her. "Aye--that I do." "Now, Jeb Spencer, I'm gonna go 'n see my best friend. I'll be back soon, fer certain-shore." "Doc said ya didn't have ta git out there today, Fairlight." She kissed him as she wrapped herself in a blanket. "Aye--but I do. She ain't gonna git no better if'n I don't git out there 'n see her. Ya gonna take me out there, or ya want me ta walk?" "I'll be takin' ya out there, I reckon. Cain't go lettin' ya walk in this snow." "Then let's git. If'n we git going', we can git back afore nightfall." ***** "Christy Huddleston MacNeill, I'm a-comin' in if'n ya like it or not!" Fairlight was shouting at the door, her worry overcoming any politeness she reserved for her friend. "I know what yore goin' through--I'm here ta talk with ya about hit." Hearing nothing, she swung open the door. Christy sat in a chair by the window, staring out--just as Jeb had said. She recognized in the slumped shoulders a grief she'd felt so long ago. Stealing softly to the young woman's side, Fairlight kneeled beside her. "Christy--it's me. Fairlight. I'm here ta talk with ya." Christy made no acknowledgement. "I been where yore at, Christy. I never told ya about hit--but I lost a babe when I wuz younger'n you." At the words, Christy flinched, turning slowly to look in Fairlight's eyes. For the first time in days, they shone with their old brilliance. "You did? I never knew..." Whispering words came out at last. "Aye--I didn't want ya ta know. I was afraid you'd feel sorry fer me. I didn't need yore pity after all these years." She hesitated, careful of Christy's bruised heart. "Ya want to hear what happen'd? I'll tell ya if ya like..." A slight nod was her answer. "Alright..." Fairlight glanced around. "How's about we git up on the bed? Ya might be more comfy there than over here...let's git away from this winder--it's got a awful cold draft anyways..." Christy moved slowly to the bed, allowing Fairlight to sit beside her and pull her into a warm embrace. Still holding her tightly, Fairlight began her story. "Jeb 'n I'd been married fer nigh on a year. He wuz out selling honey...that's when it happen'd. I'd known I wuz expectin', an' I'd told him--but I wuz still a long time fore birthing. While he wuz away, I kept right on doin' everythin' I always done--but I wuz a mite more careful, mind ya. Well, I guess the' Almighty wanted that baby more'n I did, cause He took it back. I bled all over the place--thought fer shore I was a-dyin'. Jeb came back that evenin', found me in the cabin a-cryin'. I told 'im, and he tried to holp me, but it didn't do no good. I was broke inside. I didn't let 'im near me fer a long time after that--he wuz hurtin' too, but I didn't see it. All I could think of wuz myself. When I finally figgered out what wuz happenin' with us, I went to 'im...I got over bein' afraid--an' when I did, we had us another baby. That's when John wuz born." "Fairlight...Neil--is he hurting like Jeb did?" "Aye--he is. Christy, he's yore husband. That baby wuz a part o' him, too..." "It just hurts so much--I did everything wrong..." "No--no, ya didn't. God didn't kill yer babe, neither--He just wanted it back. But that don't mean He don't want ta give ya another'n. Ya got ta trust in Him, Christy--that's what ya always said. Trust Him now--He'll holp ya." ***** Chapter 9 Fairlight and Jeb slipped out the door quietly, aware that the couple they were leaving behind needed solace again at that moment. Fairlight watched her breath hang in the air as she clung to Jeb. His arm around her was strong, reassuring. During the long walk home, she recalled every time she'd turn to Jeb for that strength. A sigh curled out in front of her, its faint white trail marking the air. "What're ya thinkin' on now, Fairlight?" Jeb's voice was low, cautious. "Oh, jest how yore always there fer me when I need ya most." Her smile carried through into her voice. Nothing more was said, but she felt Jeb give a quick squeeze, and heard him humming a tune over the sound of the crunching snow under their feet. ***** "Neil?" Christy's bare feet made no sound on the wooden floor as she approached the laboratory. The door was ajar. Hearing movement inside, she poked her head into the room, looking around. Broken glass was everywhere. She saw corks and old labels among the debris, and recognized his prescription bottles--or what was left of them. Afraid to enter, she pushed the door open wider, and called out more loudly. "Neil?" The scraping of wood on wood answered her summons, and her husband appeared at one end of a shelf. He looked terrible--the bright blue eyes were dull, ringed with black circles. Days' worth of stubble covered his jaw, his arms hung loosely at his sides. "Christy." It was a statement--flat, unfeeling. Her heart pounded at the sight of him, at his tone. Tears in her eyes, she did all she knew to do--reach out. Calling his name again, she held out her arms, the blanket she'd been wrapped in sliding to the floor. "Neil--oh, Neil..." Glass crunched and crackled as a few quick strides carried him across the room and to her embrace. ***** "Neil...I'm so sorry--I never thought you would be hurting, too..." "Shhh...don't think on it now..." Pulling her closer, Neil cradled her tiny body to his larger one. The late afternoon sun slanted over the bed, a warm glow falling on them both. Christy snuggled more deeply into the softness of her pillow, the double wedding ring quilt covering their bodies pulled up under her chin. Part of her remained frightened, distant--but Fairlight's words echoed in her mind: "Trust Him now--He'll holp ya." *God--I know you're listening,* she thought, *please--help me...help us get through this. We both need You so much right now...* "Christy--are you hungry, lass?" His voice broke into her thoughts. "Yes, Neil. I am. Let me get--" "You wait here--I'll bring it to you." Throwing back the covers, Neil rolled out of bed. His pant legs were bunched and twisted around his calves, his flannel shirttail hanging out in places. Straightening his clothing out best he could, Neil left the room, Christy listening as he stomped down the stairs. Certain he was out of earshot, she sat up in the bed, crawling around until she rested on her knees. There, in her bed, she began to pray. "God, I know You hear me, and I know that You will answer my prayer...I don't understand Your plan for us, and I don't understand why You took away our baby, but I believe You know best...Please--help me to understand. Help me to know that You're still in control. I put my faith, my love, and our--family--in Your hands. Mold us and lead us to be what You would have us to be...amen." Christy paused--one more request on her heart. "God--please--let me have a baby...amen." When Neil returned with their supper, Christy felt more at peace than she'd felt in days. Grief still gnawed at her--she knew it would not go away...not for a long time. But she clung to her faith, knowing it would see her through. That night, Neil slept by her side--not touching, but near to her...she did not wake in tears--fatigue claiming her finally, along with a blessing of rest sent down to them both. Chapter 10 Spring emerged slowly, the heavy snows of winter stubbornly refusing to melt, but the crocuses planted in the yard near the schoolhouse poked through, showing bright yellows and purples. The children were running out of the woods, gathering at the doors--waiting for Teacher. When Christy arrived, it was with trepidation. Part of her was excited about school resuming, but she feared her reaction to the children themselves. As much as she loved them, she couldn't help but think of her own unborn child when she looked at their faces. Little Burl and Mountie were the first to reach her. "Teacher, Teacher! How ya been doin', Teacher?" "Did ya have a nice Christmas, Teacher?" "What'd the Doc git ya?" "See my dolly, Teacher?" The innocence of their love, their unwitting kindnesses--their way of always believing in happiness--charmed her, revived her. She knelt, pulling them into her arms. Peering between their heads, she called out to the others. "I've missed you all so much!" That part of her that feared them melted away... ***** "Where's David, Miss Alice?" Christy stood in the doorway, munching on a ham sandwich she'd brought from home. Alice glanced up from the biscuits she was making for supper, the smell of flour heavy in the room. "He's gone to El Pano. Had to get some supplies. The roof of the bunkhouse is leaking--he's going to fix it before it gets any worse." With her mouth full, Christy could only nod in response. Sliding the pan into the oven, Alice turned her full attention on the young woman standing there, her back illuminated by the sunlight. "How is thee, Christy?" Hesitation rose up from the pit of her stomach, but Christy forced it back down, swallowing her food. "I'm better...Fairlight came to see me...she told me about her baby." Pausing, she gathered her courage. "Miss Alice, I'm sorry for the things I said to you--" "No--do not be sorry, Christy. Thee were in pain. Thee had every right to lash out." "But the things I said--about God--" "Are understandable--do not think on it, Christy." Alice stopped, wiping the flour off her hands. "God knew your pain, and he forgives all things said because of it." Smiling, she put her hand to Christy's cheek. "And how could I despise thee? You are like a daughter to me, remember?" "Yes--yes, I remember." She hugged Alice, squeezing her with all her might, thankful for this woman who loved her as a mother. Christy thought of her own mother--and the decision she and Neil had made about keeping the miscarriage from her parents. Each knew that the Huddlestons would be frantic, frightened for their daughter's well being. And each knew that having them come to Cutter Gap would do no good. So it was decided that they would not be told. Time together, time to heal and overcome the grief themselves was what they needed. Pulling away, Alice smiled down at her again. "Christy--go home. Thy husband is probably wondering already where thee is. Don't keep him waiting." "You're right, Miss Alice. You know how Neil gets..." Lightness bubbled up in her, and she impulsively kissed Alice on the cheek as she ran out the door. ***** "Neil!" She paused, listening for him. "Neil!" "Christy, lass--down here." Peering over the porch railing, she looked down at him, his head sticking out from under the floor. He was filthy, streaks of dirt and Lord-knows-what-else on his chin and around his eyes. Remembering a day long ago when she'd seen him like that, a broad smile spread over her face. "What are you doing now, Neil?" "Looking for Jeb's dog--Lady. She had her pups, but they can't find them. John saw her milling around here when he came by yesterday, so Jeb asked me to have a look-see." "Alright. Well, if you want anything, I'll be inside cooking supper." "And what might we be having tonight, Mrs. MacNeill?" Christy grinned down at him. "Chicken." His laughter followed her into the house. ***** Nightfall came to find Christy seated at her vanity, brush in hand. Lamplight gleamed on her chestnut hair, casting a warm glow on her pale skin as she slowly drew the brush through the long strands falling down her back. Neil lay in bed, eyes riveted on her every move. Putting the brush aside, Christy caught his gaze in the reflection. "Neil? What's wrong?" He shook his head. "Nothing, lass." "Then why are you staring at me so strangely?" "You're beautiful." No words came to her lips. Rising from her seat, she took off her robe, draping it over the chair back. His eyes followed her as she came to bed, turned back the covers, and slid between the sheets. Lying on her side, she turned her back to her husband. Not a moment later, she felt his hand on her waist, followed by a gentle tug. "Christy..." he whispered. "What, Neil? I'm sleepy--and I have school in the morning..." His hand fell away, fingers trailing lightly across her lower back. "Nothing, Christy--good night..." "Good night, Neil..." His weight shifted in the bed. Christy knew instinctively that he had turned over, putting his back to hers. Curling herself tightly into a ball, Christy struggled to slow her pounding heart, to tamp down the fear that had so suddenly accosted her. "Neil?" Her voice was tiny in the darkness of the room--making her feel as if some kind of monster had swallowed her whole, and she was lying there in it's belly. His weight shifted again. "Yes?" "I--I'm sorry...I didn't mean..." "Christy, no--you did nothing wrong...I should've thought first." "Neil--it's been over four months...I...I'm okay." "What…lass, what are you saying?" Rolling over, she propped herself up on one elbow. Looking through the darkness to where she imagined his face to be, she spoke. "Neil, I'm still afraid. I'm afraid that if we--I'll--I'll have another...and I'll lose it, too." "Then we won't." "No--Neil...I want to. I know I can do this...I'll be fine. It's your right--as my husband." "Right? You think I'd force you because of some stupid notion that I own you?" "No! It's just that...oh, Neil...I miss how you feel holding me--" "Christy...come here." Muscular arms wrapped around her, engulfing her in warmth. Christy felt his breath against her skin, his heart pounding against her ribs. His kiss was tentative, concerned. Feeling no resistance, Neil touched her more freely, his kiss deepening... Morning broke with Christy tangled in the sheets, Neil's arms wrapped around her protectively. As she lay sleeping next to his chest, Neil stared out the window, noting for the first time the budding trees. Chapter 11 "Neil--look at these flowers." Christy held the Burpee's Annual catalog in front of his face. Startled, Neil pushed her arm back a few inches. "I'm not blind, woman." Christy stepped back, still holding the pages open. Neil sighed, realizing the harshness of his tone. Pushing away his flies and materials, he scooted the chair back to make room for her. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me." He held out his hand to her. "Come here, sit down--let's have a look at those flowers." She sat on his lap, letting him rest his chin on her shoulder as they flipped through the pages, looking at roses, marigolds, foxglove, and a variety of vegetables and other flowers. Neil leaned back, looking hard at his wife. "Are you wanting a garden, Christy?" Smiling at him over her shoulder, she nodded. "Yes, I am. I'd like to have roses--if they'll grow under these trees. And maybe some ivy, and sunflowers--we could clear off a section away from the cabin..." "Slow down, Christy--when are you going to do this?" "Well--I don't know. I thought I should ask you first, since it would cost money to order seeds..." "Aye. It would." She turned around again, closing the catalog. "You're right--I shouldn't be spending money on flowers..." "Hold on, Christy. Did you hear me say no?" "Well--" "No--you didn't. And I'm not going to." He leaned back in the chair, pulling her against his chest. "Buy your flowers--your roses, your ivy, and your sunflowers. Get whatever you like. I'll clear you out a place for them, and I'll even help you plant." "Oh, Neil--thank you! You don't know how much this means to me...I've always loved having a flower garden, and now I can have one with all my favorites in it, and some plants you can use, too." "So you won't mind if I put in some odd medicinal plants?" "Of course not!" Laughing, he kissed her forehead. "It's settled then. We'll order the seeds, and as soon as they arrive, we'll plant our garden." "This year's won't have everything I'd like in it, though." Pointing out the window, she indicated the full-blown leaves of summer. "It's too late in the year to plant the early bloomers." "We'll get a head start on it next year, then." Opening the catalog again, he hugged her tightly. "For now, let's pick out what we want..." ***** When Christy looked out her window in mid-September, she saw Neil out at the garden, the sunflowers standing above his head. Then she noticed Uncle Bogg standing nearby, motioning to the height of the bright yellow heads with their pitch-black centers. She watched as he spoke animatedly to Neil, pointing at the vegetable garden and the trees. Finally, after shaking Neil's hand and giving him a sack of something, Bogg left. Stepping out on the porch, she called to her husband. "Neil! What did uncle Bogg want?" Neil wiped his hands off on his pants, picking up the sack and walking back to the cabin steps. "He brought me payment for my services." Neil gently put the sack on the ground by his feet. Christy glanced down at it, certain she saw it moving--but it did nothing. "What was he talking about? I saw him pointing at the trees and our sunflowers..." "He said it's going to be a bad winter." Sighing, he looked around at the trees and at the garden. "I have to agree with him, Christy--when a harvest is this good, it usually means a harsh winter." "Oh, no..." "Christy...don't be concerned. We'll have plenty to eat--and so will the people of the Cove. It will be a lonely winter, though. Folks won't go out if it gets bad." He smiled up at her, squinting in the sun. "It might be just you and me for a couple of months. Do you think you can handle it?" Winking, he started to walk away. "Neil--wait. What's in the sack?" "Ah--I nearly forgot." Picking it up, he walked up the steps, handing it to her. "It's yours. I asked Bogg to give it give it to me for payment. I thought you might like it." "What is it?" "Open it and see." Untying the twine around the sack's opening, Christy set it on the porch floor, cautiously reaching inside. Her hands felt warm fur, then something wet. "Oh my..." She jerked her hand out. "Neil--what on earth?" Laughing, he reached down and into the sack, pulling out a fluffy ball of fur. "It's a pup from one of Bogg's litters. It was the runt, and Bogg was going to drown it. I told him not to, that you might like to have it around when I'm out on calls." The pup wriggled in his hand, and he handed it to Christy. The little pink tongue stuck out, licking her fingers--a stark contrast against the blackness of its fur. "Neil, thank you...oh, you sweet little baby..." Turning, she carried the puppy inside, leaving Neil to stare after her, shaking his head. Chapter 12 "Hephestus?" Christy nodded. "You named the poor creature Hephestus?" "Yes, Neil--what's wrong with that? Hephestus was the blacksmith of the gods--" "I know who Hephestus was--but why name the dog after him?" "Well--he's black." Neil glanced down at the roly-poly puppy at their feet. He was a clumsy animal, constantly tripping over his own feet, running into the legs of the furniture, falling off the stairs...Hephestus' tail wagged furiously, his little fat body shaking from the effort. Dark eyes looked back up at him, the pink tongue lolling out in an odd grin-like look. "I see." Christy turned, sighing loudly. "Oh, Neil...I give up. You can be so stubborn sometimes..." Hephestus staggered to his feet, half-running, half-stumbling to keep up with his mistress as she left the room. ***** "Do you have everything, lass?" Christy checked her satchel one last time. "Yes--it's all here. I hope today goes well...I haven't seen the children since the harvest began." She shaded her eyes with one hand, looking up to where her husband sat perched on Charlie's back. The bright colors of late October filled the world around them. "Where are you headed today?" "Have to check on a family just over the ridge. Word came that the man's come down with chills." "Please be careful, Neil...I love you." "Aye--and I love you as much." Winking, he turned Charlie back onto the trail. Christy did not watch him go. Her haste to reach the school prevented all such leisure. The children had been working so hard, so she'd decided this first day would start in the afternoon--some of them might get some rest that way. ***** "Burl--please." Christy tugged away. "Don't cling to my skirts like that. I can barely walk!" The little boy recoiled at his teacher's words, skulking away to his seat. Rob Allen spoke up suddenly. "Teacher? Be they sumpin' wrong with ye?" Exasperated, Christy turned her attention from the blackboard. "No, Rob. What makes you think there's a problem?" "Well..." Rob hesitated, unsure of Christy's reaction. "Missus Christy--ye been actin' strange-like. Ye don't let none of us near ye, and ye git plumb mean with some of the littler ones--like ye did just now with Burl." "Rob--I do not behave "plumb mean"--as you put it--towards the younger children." She knelt before Burl. "Little Burl, I want you to tell me the truth. Do you think Rob is right to say that I've been mean?" The little boy squirmed in his seat, and Christy noticed his undisguised effort to put distance between them. Something in her clenched, and she reached for Burl. "Burl? Tell me the truth--don't be afraid. You won't get in any trouble." Burl raised his eyes to hers reluctantly. "Yes'm." Burl picked at something on his coat. "I think ye been real mean to us here least'uns." Standing slowly, Christy looked around the room. She saw the children's faces for what seemed the first time in months. Few looked at her, and those that did--they looked on with sadness and confusion. They were not to blame. Resenting them for something beyond their control was foolishness. She stepped back, clutching her desk for support. Swallowing hard, she finally spoke. "Children...I--I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I'd been so--" She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "I'm sorry..." "It's'alright, Teacher. We'uns understan'..." "Don't worry 'bout hit none, Teacher..." "I kin fergive ye, Teacher..." Small arms wrapped around her legs, holding her tightly, almost knocking her off her feet. It was Little Burl. She freed herself from his grasp, going down on one knee in front of him. Burl hesitated, but when she smiled at him, he stepped forward, letting Christy envelop him in a bear hug. ***** "Christy? Where are you, lass?" Neil crossed the room, looking up the stairs. Hearing a noise, he turned to find the source, and very nearly crunched a very excited ball of fur. "Festus! I'm warning you now--keep that up and you won't last around here, I promise you that." Hephestus jumped at his feet, wriggling uncontrollably. "Alright, come here..." Neil scooped up the little dog and held him close to his chest with one large hand. "So, my little friend. Where's your lovely mistress, eh? Where'd she run off to now?" Hephestus continued to wiggle, forcing Neil to put him back on the floor before he dropped him. As soon as his feet hit the wood, Hephestus stumbled to the door, yipping. Neil stepped back out onto the porch, and seeing Christy, bolted down the stairs to the garden. "Christy!" Falling to his knees beside her, he rolled her over, her head on his lap. Her face was white, her lips pale. "Christy..." Her eyes fluttered open, and seeing Neil, she tried to sit up, but was too weak. "Neil..." she whispered. "Yes...I'm here, lass. What happened?" "I was working in the garden after school..." Neil eased her up from the ground, resting her head against his chest. "I wanted to get the last of the vegetables..." Suddenly she scrambled away from him, choking and heaving, her face close to the dirt beneath her. Neil held her hair away from her face, trying to control his emotions. "Christy, when did this start?" "A week ago..." "Why didn't you tell me?" He was pulling her back to him, lifting her from the ground. "I was afraid to..." Neil kicked the door open, Hephestus scurrying out of the way. "Why, Christy? I'm a doctor--I'm your husband! Did you think I wouldn't notice?" She made no explanation or complaint as he carried her to their bed. "Here...lie still. I'm going to get a bucket of water and get you cleaned up--then we'll talk." Christy lay motionless as he disappeared from the room. Her feelings about what was happening were so jumbled...she felt so afraid, so worried--but at the same time, she felt excitement at knowing God had answered her prayer... Chapter 13 "Well...there's no doubt about it, lass..." Neil looked up at his wife as she lay back in the pillows on their bed. "You're going to be a mother." Shaky laughter reached his ears, and tears began streaming down her face. "Why now? Why this close to winter..." He was at her side in an instant. "Christy--it'll be fine...I promise you...I'll be here this time...you're strong, you're healthy...this baby will make it..." "You don't know that, Neil!" She started to roll over, away from him, but he grabbed her arm, turning her back. "Christy. Look at me." His thumb brushed away the lone tear that clung to her chin. "I'm here. I'll not leave you alone. You have nothing to worry about, lass..." "You can't be sure..." "No--I cannot...but I have faith, Christy." His words hit home. *...I have faith...* She must have faith. God brought her this far--gave her a husband that cared, friends that helped her, too…and now he had given her another baby. If she failed to trust in the Father now, to whom would she turn? Drawing a deep breath, she looked out to the mountains. Though she could not see them, Christy knew that beyond those trees lay the blue, misty ridges that gave her strength. God created those mountains, as well as all things living upon and around them--could He not then care for her…and her baby? Her hand squeezed Neil's. "You're right...I have to believe." Neil lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her palm. "Aye...you do. But we'll still be careful, lass." Leaning back, he brushed a loose strand of hair from her forehead. "No heavy lifting, no standing for lengthy periods of time--that means plenty of bed rest, no pushing yourself to get everything done in one day--" Christy opened her mouth to protest, but Neil silenced her with a wave of his hand. "No--wait. I'm not finished." He began ticking the rules off on his fingers. "Eat good meals, no horseplay with the children--yes, I've seen you playing games with them--sit during your lessons...and above all--ask for help! You can't keep doing everything yourself. Let the children help you at school...let David do the harder work. I don't want to hear that you were carrying water to the school from the springhouse, do you hear?" Christy nodded. "Good. And one final warning--as your time gets closer, you'll have to stop teaching. I know you don't want to, but it's for the best. You can return to the school after a few months. I'm sure Alice wouldn't mind helping you, nor would Fairlight. But you will have to take some time away. Maybe go to Asheville...your parents will want to meet their grandchild, I'm sure." "Yes...Daddy will be so excited...and Mother will probably cry." Christy sighed. "Or maybe Daddy will cry, instead...I am his Little Miss..." Chuckling, Neil lowered himself to her side, the bed sinking a little under his weight. Christy shifted, moving closer to him, holding his hand tightly...then placing the other on her belly. "Neil..." "What, lass?" "Just think...a baby." "What of it?" "A baby, Neil...our baby." "Aye..." He kissed her hair. "Now rest...I want you to be healthy, and I want this baby to be born a lively one..." "I don't think there's any need to worry about that, Doctor...after all, you're the father." "Aye...and you--Teacher--are the mother." Neither spoke for some time, and Neil thought perhaps she'd succumbed to sleep, but a whisper suddenly broke into his thoughts. "Neil...?" "Yes?" "...I'm still frightened..." He held her close. "I know, lass..." "...but..." "What, Christy?" "I trust you...I know you'll take care of me--us, I mean." "Good...remember that." "I will." ***** ______________________________________________________ Chapter 14 "Christy, we should talk about the baby--about letting people know." "Of course...what are you thinking?" She glanced at him before sinking her arms back into the washtub. "That we should wait until the first trimester has passed. Should be fine from then on out." Christy paused, resting her elbows against the scrubbing board. "Are you sure?" "No--I can't be absolutely sure, but the odds are in our favor after the third month." "Well...then we'll wait. I don't want everyone to know if--if--something happens." "Lass..." Neil's hand gripped her shoulder, turning her away from the laundry. "Do not fret about this--you're going to be fine...and the baby." Suds snaked down her arms, dripping from her fingertips, as she squinted at him in the afternoon sunlight. "How do you do it, Neil? How do you never worry?" Her voice increased in pitch as she ranted on. "How can you be so calm? Aren't you scared? Do you even care?" "Christy! Are you mad, woman?" Shaking his head, he turned to walk away--but stopped mid-stride and looked hard at her, eyes searching hers. "How can you ask those things? How can you accuse me of such coldness...is that what you think? That I don't care about you, or our child? Am I scared? God, yes--I'm terrified. I'm scared we'll lose another...I'm scared I might lose you." Neil ran a hand through his unruly curls. "I've never done this before, Christy--I've delivered lots of babies, but none of them were mine. None of those women were my wife...I worry. More than you know." With one final glance, he turned away, going inside the cabin. Christy followed him inside, ignoring the water that still dripped from her arms. Neil stood by the fireplace, fingering the inscription on his pipe. "Neil--I'm sorry. I didn't think--I was wrong. It's just that...you always seem to be in control, and all I can do is worry..." He left the fireplace, going to her side. "Christy--I try to stay in control because of you. What would you do if I walked around here wringing my hands with worry? You'd be even more frightened. I do worry, I promise you that--but I try to make you feel as safe as I can. That's why I don't show it, lass. Not because I don't feel it..." "Oh, Neil...I'm sorry--" He wrapped her in his arms, feeling the dampness that clung to her. She smelled of soap, her arms chilled from the November winds. Pulling the napkin from her hair, he freed the auburn waves to fall down her back, sliding his fingers into their length. "I love you, Christy, and I'm sorry I didn't let you know how I feel about what's happening..." He kissed her gently, letting his lips graze the tip of her nose as he pulled away. "But don't ever say things like that to me again." "Neil, I am sorry..." "Aye...I know you are. And I'll let you off the hook this time--after all--you're not quite yourself right now." He winked as he pulled her to him again. ***** "Miz Alice!" The missionary burst into the kitchen at Ruby Mae's frantic call. "What's happened?" "Why, nuthin', Miz Alice...I jest wanted ya ta know that the Doc and Missus Christy wuz here." "Oh...Ruby Mae--is everything ready? The turkey? Pies?" "Yes--hit's all done...I done set the table, the bird's right here," she lifted a cloth covering the main course, "and the pies is coolin'." "Wonderful, Ruby Mae. I'm very proud of you...our Thanksgiving dinner looks delicious. And I'm sure Neil and Christy will agree." The door opened in the parlor, and Alice ushered Ruby Mae out of the kitchen. "Go welcome our guests, Ruby Mae--I'll finish up in here." ***** "Ruby Mae, the food is wonderful!" Christy was thrilled that she could honestly praise the young woman's efforts. The meal really was delicious, and judging from Neil's heaping second helpings, he agreed. "Thank ya, Missus Christy. Hit means a lot ta me when ya think good of what I done." "Well, Ruby Mae--I'm flattered...but don't always judge yourself on my opinions." "Of course not! Why--at school, don't none of us think yore opinion means anythin'." Neil snorted at the slip-up, and realizing her mistake, Ruby Mae began to blush and apologize profusely. "I'm right sorry, Teacher--that ain't what I meant a-tall." Christy couldn't help but smile. "That's fine, Ruby Mae. I know what you meant." The girl smiled, but the blush on her cheeks remained for some time. David grinned at Christy down the length of the table. Ruby Mae never failed to provide entertainment... ***** "Would anyone like some pie?" "Neil would." Christy caught the look he shot in her direction, but she just smiled sweetly at her husband and took the saucer from Alice, setting the generous slice of pumpkin pie beside Neil's elbow. "And you, Mrs. MacNeill?" "Umm...yes. Yes, I'd like some, too, thank you." Alice hesitated. "Christy, is thy mind elsewhere?" "No--not really. Just...thinking." "I see. Well, I hope it is a happy thought." Christy met Neil's gaze, a faint smile on her lips. "Yes, Miss Alice. It's a very happy thought." Their dinner companions looked around at each other, puzzled. David shrugged at Alice's questioning look, turning his attention back to the pie in front of him. ***** "Neil, may I have a word with thee and Christy?" "Of course, Alice. What about?" She pushed open the door and stepped outside, motioning for them to follow. "Ruby Mae can finish clearing the table, but I want to speak with the two of thee before you go home again." She continued to walk, heading out into the open yard, away from listening ears. "Neil, Christy--I feel that thee have a secret, and I must admit to great curiosity about it." "Ah. The truth comes out. The great Alice Henderson cannot abide being kept in the dark." Neil's words were tinged with laughter. "Neil--" "I'm only teasing, Alice. You're right, though. Christy and I do have a secret, but it's up to her to tell you." Visibly startled, Christy stared at Neil, whispering. "What? I thought--Neil, we agreed to wait before we told anyone..." "I know, lass--but Alice knows about...what happened...and I don't think it would hurt to let her know..." "All right..." She turned back to Alice, who waited patiently a few feet away. "Miss Alice, the big secret is...I'm expecting--again." "Oh, Christy! How wonderful..." Alice wrapped her in a tight embrace, reaching out to take Neil's hand in one of her own. "I'm so happy for thee. God has blessed you again." Tears rolled down her cheeks, and releasing Christy and Neil, she wiped them away, a soft smile on her lips. "Motherhood is a divine road, Christy. Everything will change--how you see the world, how you let things affect you. It's no longer what might happen to you--it all becomes about thy child. There is no greater calling." She paused, something crossing her mind. "When can we expect this gift to arrive, Neil?" "We're believing late June." "Early summer...good. Thee won't be carrying the child in the hottest part of the year." Alice laughed. "That's a blessing in itself--ask some of the women around here and you'll here the same thing." "Speaking of the other women, Alice--Christy and I would like for you to keep this a secret. We're planning to announce it when the third month has passed...that would be after Christmas, maybe after the New Year." "Of course, Neil. Though I must ask--shouldn't David be told? He may be able to help Christy with the children more if he knows..." Neil thought for a moment, looking to Christy for any sign. She nodded, and he smiled at her approval. "You're right, Alice. I'll tell him myself, explain the situation. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear the news--and to help Christy." "Good...now--thee should be going home, Christy. Rest is of the utmost importance--but I am certain Neil will be keeping a watchful eye." "That I am." Neil pulled Christy close to him, holding her tightly. "Come along, Neil. Tell David tonight--I'm sure he will agree that this news marks a true day of Thanksgiving..." ***** Chapter 15 "Reverend?" David's head appeared over Prince's back. "Hello, Doctor. What brings you out here? I thought you and Christy would be headed home by now." "We were, but I have something I need to discuss with you first." Neil watched as David gave Prince three more sweeping strokes down his flanks, checked to see if the horse had plenty of water, and stepped out of the stall, the gate clicking shut behind him. "Reverend, why exactly are you out here? I thought you might be helping Ruby Mae with the dishes." David laughed. "Oh, I just convinced Ruby Mae that Prince deserved an extra helping of feed since it's Thanksgiving," his voice dropping to a whisper, "but I know you know how much that girl can talk...it's unbearable to be with her in that kitchen for more than a couple of minutes. So--I made my getaway." David's confession was met with hearty laughter and a slap on the back as the pair headed for the door. "Well said, Reverend--well said." "So, Doctor--what was it you wanted to talk with me about?" Neil glanced up at the mission's main building, and seeing Ruby Mae throwing out some bones from the porch, took David by the arm and steered him back inside the stable. "It's about Christy." "What? Is something wrong?" The young minister's face blanched. "No...no, she's fine." "Thank God." "Aye--and thank Him again...Christy's pregnant." "What? You can't be serious--she is?" Neil peered out, checking to see if Ruby Mae had gone back indoors. "Yes, I'm serious. That's why I wanted to see you. I want to ask a favor of you--watch over her. You know how stubborn she can be, Grantland. She thinks she has to do everything for herself. She can't do that anymore. I need you to help her." David nodded. "Anything, Doctor. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure Christy doesn't push herself too hard." "I appreciate it, David." He extended his arm, holding out one hand to the preacher. Grasping it firmly in his own, David smiled broadly. "Congratulations, MacNeill. You're a lucky man. Not only have you got the best woman in two states as your wife, but you're going to be a father to boot. I wish you the best--and Christy, too. Tell her I said that I'll keep her in my prayers." "I'll do it, Reverend. And, uh--could you remember me, too? It's not going to be easy for her, and I'll have to live with it!" David chuckled, nodding his assent, and rested one hand on Neil's shoulder as they walked back to the mission-house. Christy waited patiently on the steps, Hephestus at her feet, watching the budding camaraderie between the former rivals. As the two men approached, Hephestus ceased his brutal attack on Christy's laces, abandoning the strings for David's generous scratching. Kneeling at the bottom step, David caressed the large puppy's silky fur, giving his ears a quick rub and his chin a gentle tap. "He's getting big, Christy. What have been feeding him?" "Anything he gets his teeth into. I swear--I think he'd eat my shoes if I didn't keep them put away." David laughed softly, unfolding his lanky frame as he stood at his full height. Their eyes met, and Christy saw the gleam of knowledge there. She realized that Neil had told him their news, and as she stared into the preacher's eyes, he nodded slightly, a smile forming on his lips as he mouthed one word: "Congratulations." Chapter 16 "Children--today we're going to talk about Christmas and what it means. You've heard my stories about what Christmas is like in Asheville--the tree in the mayor's yard, the shop windows full of toys and decorations, and the carolers--but that's not what Christmas is really about." Christy paused, looking at the faces--bright pink from the cold--staring up at her. "Can anyone tell me why we celebrate Christmas?" Sam Houston's hand shot up. "Sam Houston--can you tell the class?" "Yes'm--we'uns celebrate Christmas 'cause that's when Jesus was born." "Very good, Sam Houston! I'm proud of you." The little boy leaned back in his desk, a proud smile lighting up his face. "Now, can anyone tell me where Jesus was born?" Mountie raised her hand slowly. "Mountie? Do you know where?" "In a stable with the horses and cows." "Exactly! And where was that stable at?" Rob Allen spoke up. "Bethlehem--in Judea." Christy stopped a moment. "Yes, Rob. In Bethlehem." Her amazement at Rob's intelligence never ceased. It was as if the young man remembered everything he heard exactly as he heard it. Smiling, she looked around the room again. "I know you all are very excited about getting out for Christmas, and because this is our last day before the holiday, I thought I'd plan a special surprise for everyone." A hum of chattering and hoorays filled her ears. "Children! Children--settle down!" The noise dropped to a hush. "Before we get started I need for you to move your desks to the walls and sit in the floor." Christy waited patiently, listening to the hurried screeches of metal feet on wooden planks pierce the air. When the grating sounds finally ended, she walked to the door and picked up a large tub. "Rob, John--could you help me fill this with water?" They jumped up from their seats on the floor and went to her, taking the tub and heading outside. "Ruby Mae, Bessie--you two are in charge of the children. We'll be right back." ***** David looked up from his Bible to glance at the clock. A few more minutes and he'd have to head up to the school--Christy had asked him to help her with the party she was having for the children, and he'd agreed, remembering the doctor's request. Movement outside the window caught his eye, and turning to look, spied Christy holding one end of a metal tub as Rob Allen poured a bucket of water into it. David leapt from his seat, the door banging behind him as he rushed out into the cold. "Christy! What are you doing?" His voice rang out loud and harsh in the bitingly cold air. She never looked around at him, all her energy focused on not dropping her end of the tub. David could see that John was straining to keep most of the weight off her end, and stepped forward, reaching out for the handle her fingers were wrapped around. "Christy, let me..." "David--I have it!" She didn't look at him, her eyes following Rob's movements as he poured the final bucketful in. Sighing, she looked over at John. "Ready?" The Spencer boy nodded, and they lifted the tub. "Christy! Put that down right now!" She froze, taken aback at his insistence. "David, we have it. Now move." He put one hand on the tub's rim, the other on her shoulder. "No. Put it down." His voice dropped. "Doctor's orders." Christy stopped dead, suddenly realizing just why David was being so stubborn. He was Neil's watchdog. Part of her wanted to laugh at David's willingness to do such a favor for his former rival, but another part was thankful for the caring watchfulness that both men felt towards her. She sighed again, nodding to John, and they sat the tub on the ground. David grinned down at her. "Go on, Christy. We're right behind you." She walked to the school, casting the occasional glance back to check the progress of the most chivalrous minister in Eastern Tennessee. Chapter 17 Christy sat alone in the schoolhouse, pen in hand, papers scattered unnoticed over her desk. Her eyes stared unseeing out the window nearest her, her mind so far away she failed to hear the approaching footsteps until they were well into the room. Jumping, she turned quickly to see her visitor was none other than her husband. "Neil! What are you doing here?" "I think I could ask you the very same question, Christy." He crossed the room to the woodstove, closing the damper so that the fire inside would go out. "The children have been gone for hours, lass. Let's go home." "I just have a few more papers--" "Which can wait." He went to her side, pulling the pen from her grasp. Christy's eyes followed his every movement--one hand came to rest on the back of her chair, the other on the desk beside her. Crouching to her level, Neil looked hard into her eyes. "What are you thinking about, Christy?" "Nothing, Neil." "Christy--" Taking her chin in one hand, he tilted her face up slightly. "Tell me the truth, lass." Her lids dropped, lashes blocking any view of the blueness of her eyes. "It's been almost a year." Neil faltered, his hand dropping away as he rose to his full height. "I know...that's why I came after you today." "I'm fine...I promise." Her eyes shone in the fading light. Neil studies her a few moments, his mind weighing a variety of options and possibilities. Sighing, he stepped away from the desk, stooping to retrieve Christy's satchel. She left her desk as it was, papers still scattered across its surface, and followed him out the door. ***** Three days before Christmas was to settle in Cutter Gap, Christy was jolted from her peaceful slumber by the swift movements of Neil as he rolled out of bed, his feet hitting the cold, wooden floor with a thud. Hearing pounding at the front door, she sat up in the bed, clutching the blankets to her bosom, waiting for news. A few moments later, Neil reappeared, his face haggard and drawn. "Neil--what is it?" Pained eyes were turned on her. "It's snowing..." Christy looked to the window. She could barely make out the faint glow of a lantern in the yard. The pale cast of light was enough for her to catch a glimpse of swirling flakes. "Neil--no one knew..." "No, they didn't." He was pulling on his trousers, his heavy flannel shirt thrown over one shoulder. "Uncle Bogg and Ault Allen are waiting outside...Christy--it's Rob Allen. He was with Ault tonight hunting...they got separated in the storm." "No..." "Christy--we have to find him," Neil glanced out the window as he buttoned his shirt, "and very soon. If this storm continues, we may not even have a chance." "Neil, please...be careful." He leaned over her, his kiss fierce and quick. "I'll be home soon." Then he was gone, his footsteps heavy on the stairs. Alone in the dark, a snowstorm howling outside, Christy suddenly felt fear grip her body. Springing from the bed, she ran down the staircase, clad only in her nightgown. He was opening the door when she called out. "Neil!" He stopped short, puzzled at her frantic behavior. Sitting his own lantern down, he turned to his wife. "Christy? What is it, lass?" Tears streamed down her face. "Please--Neil...don't go. I need you here--what if something happens? This is just like last winter..." Her words knocked the breath out of him. His tiredness and concern for the eldest Allen son had made him momentarily forget his wife's fears. "Christy--I must…I can't let Rob die out there. They need every man..." "What about me, Neil? I'm your wife--I need you here!" "They need all the help they can find..." "They have every other man in the Cove!" "They need a doctor, Christy!" "Take Dan Scott!" Neil grabbed her by the shoulders. "Christy! Are you hearing me? It's Rob Allen--your student! Do you want me to sit here and let him die out there in the storm, or do you want me to find him?" "I want you here!" Neil released his hold on her, stepping back. "Christy--lass, I love you...but I have to help them find Rob." "What about me?" "You'll be fine--we'll be back before long." he opened the door, snowflakes spinning into the room on a blast of icy air. "I'm sorry, Christy." He stepped into the whiteness, pulling the door shut behind him. ***** Chapter 18 The door clicked shut inaudibly, the faint sound lost in the roar of the storm. The knowledge that Christy was weeping and begging not four feet away--and that only a plank of wood two inches thick was separating them--was more than he could bear. He turned around, a gloved hand reaching out for the handle, but stopped as his fingers closed around the knob. A half-sigh, half-sob escaped Neil's lips as he released his grip and turned away, pulling his furred hat low over his eyes and going down the porch steps. ***** Christy lay curled in their bed, the wedding ring quilt pulled high under her chin. The fire downstairs was blazing, its warmth drifting to the rooms above. Secure in her nest of linen sheets and downy pillows, Christy rested her hands on her belly. Her thoughts were torn--praying for Neil, praying for Rob, praying for herself, and for her child. Tears began welling up in her eyes, and she reached out to Neil's side, pulling his pillow to her face, breathing in the scent of him. ***** "Jeb! You see anything?" "Nar a thing...it's like the boy's plumb disappeared." "How could he just vanish like that?" Neil shuffled through the snow, lantern held aloft, eyes scanning the snow for any shape that might be the body of the young writer. Every unusual lump had turned out to only be fallen trees, stumps, and on one occasion, a bedded deer. Its flight to freedom had been short lived--a single shot had rung out, bright crimson drops marking the spot where the poor creature had fallen. Two of the men had bundled it away to one of the cabins before it could be lost in the drifts, leaving the others to continue the search. Neil looked to his right, squinting in the semi-darkness. "Jeb?" he called out loudly. "Here, Doc!" "All right...thought I'd lost y--" "MacNeill...Jeb! Here--it's Rob!" Neil spun quickly, using his staff as a balance as he half-ran, half-stumbled through the deepening snow. Tom McHone and John Spencer were pulling Rob out of a shallow pit in the ground. His face was pale, lips blue from the cold. Thrusting the lantern into Jeb's hand, Neil pulled off the heavy fur draped over his own shoulders, covering the young man with it as he checked for any signs of life. Rob's pulse was weak, feathery--but present. He motioned to Tom. "Help me pick him up--we have to get him warm." "Where we gonna take him?" "Ain't nowhere near no cabin, Doc." "He's done turned blue!" "Quiet! I don't care where we take him, but somebody better think of something quick or this boy's going to die." "We'll take him home." Ault's voice rang out over the others'. "You know that's too far, Ault." Neil shook his head. "Naw--look." He pointed through the darkness at what appeared to be lights. "Hit's the mill. I didn't know it was that close by myself. Jest noticed it..." He reached down to take hold of Rob's ankles. "Poor young'un got himself this close to home and didn't even know hit." Carrying Rob to shelter, Neil contemplated the reality of not returning home until the storm broke. If a search party couldn't find a mill that lay within sight distance, he knew there was no way he'd find his way home on foot. As they entered the warm building, he sent up a silent prayer that the storm would pass quickly... Chapter 19 to come!