Title: "An Honest Woman" Author: by Rebecca B. Dear Father, I have braved yet another cold winter in the cove. This winter seemed a little colder than the last. This I blame in part to the fact that David was no longer speaking to me unless necessary, and I had scarcely heard of (much less seen) Dr. McNeil. David, as we have already discussed, is still pouting over the fact that I would not marry him. I see now that I would not be happy in a marriage to someone I could not truly give my heart to. He is a bit immature and the fact that he would pout so when not getting his way has proven to me that I made the correct decision. I am not yet an old maid (as mother would predict for me) and I should rather take the time to fall in love than be pressured into it. Dr. McNeil has been busy throughout the winter tending to the people of the cove. What little time he does have to spare is spent in Atlanta checking up on Margaret. Her condition has not improved since he registered her with the hospital in January. I have heard, through the grapevine, that Margaret has been given only a short time to live. Her years away from Cutter Gap were not spent in the best of company or circumstances and they have taken their toll. Miss Alice is her usual warm and loving self, though she too has moments when she seems too preoccupied to chat. Ruby Mae and I have learned that it was best just too leave her alone with the Lord to sort through these times. I did find it necessary to inform Ruby Mae that if Miss Alice needed us or wanted our help with her inner conflict, she would seek us out. Amazingly Ruby Mae seems to understand that Miss Alice needs time to heal her soul over the loss of Margaret. Miss Alice has stuck to her resolve not to communicate with Margaret since the day they met in the church. She related the story to me one night soon after it happened. She said that she was mortified that Margaret, the child that God had given to her, could so blatently and pompously defile the church and the Lord. She described to me how Margaret had paraded herself down the middle of the aisle singing so loudly that the whole cove could have heard her. Miss Alice said that for the first time in her life she struck someone out of rage, and that someone was her own beloved daughter. She claims to have left the matter and Margaret in God's hands, but I know that it still troubles her. All of her life she has loved Margaret and believed that eventually she would become a respectable Christian and daughter. I think that now she has lost all hope of that, and that was part of what was holding her together. I believe she feels that if she has failed Margaret, how can she possibly be of help to the people of the cove. In other words, she has grieved herself into blind pity. I hold Miss Alice high in my prayers and pray that God will show her how beneficial she is to us all. I hope that you, Mother and George are well. I miss you all terribly. I wish that I could see George playing baseball this Spring. In Mother's last letter she mentioned that he will be the starting pitcher for the Asheville High Bears. I am so proud of him. She also mentioned that he has begun to show interest in girls. I believe she mentioned quite a bit of interest in Emma Webb. I am sure that Mother is very pleased with this pairing. I must be going now, Father. I wanted only to write to you and let you know how much I miss you and Mother, and to let you know that I am well. Your Girlie, Christy Christy folded the posy trimmed stationary and inserted her letter into the matching envelope. She wanted to finish her letter before Mr. Pentland came by with the weeks mail. The winter weather had not been so cold, but there had been a few heavy snowfalls. It was always harder for Mr. Pentland to bring in the mail when the cove was covered in snow. He had limited his visits to once a week. Knowing that Christy had only one truly free day a week, he was kind enough to stop in Cutter Gap on Saturdays. Of course he didn't really suffer much, Saturdays were always the best eatin' days at the Mission house. Ruby Mae didn't do the cooking and Miss Christy had really come along with her cooking since she started up the cooking classes. During his long quite walks Ben sometimes laughed out loud thinking that Miss Christy had been learning more from Fairlight and Mary Allen than she had been teaching. He had heard about the burnt chicken she cooked up for the Doc. At first he thought that Uncle Bogg had just made up another tale, but pretty soon he was hearing it from other people too. It seems that Creed Allen had been hiding in the bushes that day. He didn't see exactly what happened, just that the Doc had gone out to clean up and then Miss Christy had the house all filled with smoke. The most amazing thing to Creed was that Doc ate the chicken anyhow. That really got the tongues to waggin'. "Only a man in love would do something that foolish," they was saying. Christy strolled outside to sit on the porch as she waited for the mailman. As he came over the hill by the pond she stood, straightened her skirt and walked out into the yard to meet him. "Howdy Miss Christy! How are ye teday?" Ben asked. "Just fine, Mr. Pentland, how are you?" "Fair ta middlin'. They got a package fer ye back in El Pano, but Doc got an important telegram too and seein as how he be the Doc and all, well, I figer'd maybe you wouldn't mind me bringin' your parcel on Monday," he said as he scratched is head. "No, Mr. Pentland, that's fine. It's only a box of books and supplies for the children. My uncle sent them from Asheville. Don't trouble yourself to bring them even on Monday. Next Saturday will be fine. Dr. McNeil's messages are certainly more important than my package. I do have a letter going out though." Christy gave Mr. Pentland a soft smile as she handed him the letter. "Yep, I reckoned ye would. Seems to me you might be getting a little homesick with Spring and all just around the corner. The blossoms'll be blooming soon. The birds'll all come back and start ta singin'. The youngens'll start fallin in love and all. I got me a girl back El Pano way myself. She's pretty as a daffidil and she shore kin cook too. Yep, just the other day I saw Ruby Mae and Rob Allen walkin down by the crick. They was a holdin' hands and when Ruby Mae saw that I'd found 'em, she blushed so hard ye couldn't even see 'er freckles no more," Ben chuckled as he remembered. "Mr. Pentland, you weren't spying were you?" Christy scolded in her best teacher voice. "No Ma'm," he figitted, "I was just down there catchin' me some fish." "All the same, perhaps Ruby Mae and Rob should be chaperoned from now on," Christy replied. "Now, Miss Christy, they weren't doin' nothing wrong. Ain't nothin wrong with a little hand holdin'. I wouldn't be saying nothing to 'em. And, well, I plumb forgot that I gived my word not te tell ye." "Alright, Mr. Pentland, I'll trust you if you say it was all innocent. Perhaps you would like to come in and join us for dinner. The chicken's almost ready and I've baked a nice cake for dessert." She blushed when Mr. Pentland snickered at the mention of her cooking chicken. She knew that the whole cove had been talking about her and Neil. She also remembered the look of rejection in his face when he realised it was Dan Scott she was talking about instead of herself. She had admonished herself for not choosing her words more carefully. "Thank ye, Miss Christy! Sounds like a right fine idear te me." He held the door open for her as they went inside. The next day Christy awoke to the smell of bacon and burnt coffee. "Ruby Mae," she muttered as she rolled over and put her feet in her slippers. She splashed some cold water on her face and pinned her hair up. After she donned her favorite Sunday dress she went down stairs. Ruby Mae was busy trying to clean the burnt coffee off the bottom of the kettle. Christy walked into the kitchen and began to turn the bacon before it too burned. Ruby Mae jumped and dropped the kettle into the sink. "Lord a mercy Miss Christy! I thought you was Miss Margaret's ghost come back to haunt me or sumthin. Oh Lord, Oh Lord! I nearly jumped up outta my skin. Pert near made my heart stop." "Ruby Mae, what are you talking about," Christy scolded, "Margaret's ghost. I declare, you have the most vivid imagination I've ever seen. Margaret is in Atlanta. How could you possible be imagining her ghost." "Oh no Miss Christy, didn't you hear the commotion last night? Lord I reckon with everything being so hurried and all everybody plum fergot to tell you about it." "Ruby Mae, what are you carrying on about? I didn't hear any commotion last night. What's wrong, what happened?" "Lordy, Lordy Miss Christy, Doc come flying in hear all steam and vinegar last night. He grabbed Miss Alice and told her she had to come with 'em to Atlanta-way. Miss Margaret turned out real sick yesterdey and he done got a telegram to call the hospital. He rode into El Pano to use their phone," she paused a moment as if in thought. "Why do ye figer he done that. We got a teliphone here at the Mission an we's a heck of a lot closer than El Pano." "Never mind that Ruby Mae. He probably just didn't want to disturb us. Go on with the rest." "Anyhow, Miss Alice said she weren't a gonna go with 'em and he told her yes she was. That Miss Margaret was near to death and he just knew that Alice needed to be there for those final hours. He said to Miss Alice that she weren't never gonna forgive herself if'n she didn't pack up and go with 'em. And in the end she did go." "Ya know Miss Christy, Doc was right. I miss my Ma somethin' awful. Sometimes I just hate 'er for running off an leavin' me with Pa. I know she said that she was goin' ta take care of Granny, but I'd of thought she'd be back by now. Anyways, if'n I was about ta die, I reckon she's the one I'd want to see the most. I mean, I love you 'n Miss Alice 'n all, but ain't nothin' can replace a Ma." "I understand what you meant Ruby Mae. I do not always agree with my mother either, but I do always love her." Christy paused and said a short, silent prayer for Margaret and Miss Alice. "Did he say how bad her condition was? Is there any hope?" "Wall now, he didn't right say, but I reckon that ain't too likely a seein' the way he were actin'." "Was David here?" Christy asked. "He did come a runnin' from his bunk soon as he heard the commotion. He said he agreed with Dr. McNeil and that if'n he had ta, he'd pack Miss Alice's bag hisself, she was goin'." "Oh, I see," said Christy. "Were is the Reverend now?" "Over ta the church house." All through the church service Christy's mind was full of questions. How would Alice feel if Margaret really did die? Would she come back the same boisterous friend that Christy knew and loved, or would her heart and spirit be broken? Would Neil be able to forgive Margaret for what she had done to him and her mother? And, what of her feelings for Neil? Would Neil ever be able to love again, or would Christy's love for him go unrewarded? This last thought made her feel a bit guilty and selfish. Neil may never love her, regardless of the trouble he went through with Margaret. She had only recently discovered her feelings for Neil and she was not sure if he felt the same. She had always felt as though he considered her a child taking on too much of the world. Though he had never really treated her as a child, at least not the way that David had. She knew the difference between her love for Neil and her love for David. David was the boy her mother would love to have as a son-in-law. He was handsome, clean cut and perfectly groomed. He came from a well respected family with a background. He was a preacher. She could just imagine her mother's pride as she told all of her friends how Christy had gone off to serve in the God forsaken mountains and instead married the parson. Being married to a preacher had it's advantages. David would be able to find work anywhere, including Asheville. Christy was sure that her mother had yet to accept the fact that Christy intended to stay in the cove indefinitely. Christy loved David as much as she could. She just could bring herself to be "in" love with him. He never made her heart swoon. She did think of him often, but he never filled her dreams. More often than not, when they disagreed about something, David treated her like a school child. Neil on the other hand, was what really made Christy blush. He was rugged and strong, as well as handsome. She loved the way his tousled curls framed his face, and that one unruly one that always slid over his forehead. She often had dreams of Neil by the stream with a small curly, redhead boy beside him struggling to learn the fine art of fly-fishing from his father, who was known to be the best fisherman from Cutter Gap to Knoxville. She knew that the boy was their son. Sometimes she would wake from her dreams of Neil and not know she had been dreaming. She would reach over and feel for him in the bed beside her. Her mother would be mortified by the thought that she dreamt of a back-woodsman. Regardless of the fact that Neil was schooled in Scotland, he was born in Cutter Gap. How could her mother present that to Asheville society? The service ended with a prayer for Margaret and Miss Alice. Christy was not the only one saying a silent prayer for Dr. Neil McNeil. Fairlight Spencer was also pleading with God for the sake of her friend. She knew how Christy felt about Neil. She could also read Neil McNeil like an open book. She knew that Christy was the only woman in the world who would make him happy and that Christy wouldn't be happy without Neil either. She longed for the day when they would celebrate that wedding. She had already begun to sew a special double wedding ring quilt for the couple. Fairlight had always had a special sight into what would happen. She just somehow knew that Neil and Christy would be wed someday. As David dismissed the congregation Fairlight hurried over to catch Christy. "Miss Christy, I think that you and me need to go someplace and sit a spell." Christy nodded at Fairlight and followed her out the door. "Now, Miss Christy, you and I both know that it was wrong of the Preacher to leave out Neil from his prayer. I think that we need to go to our sitting spot and say a good prayer for Neil." Christy agreed with Fairlight on all but one count. "I can only think of one place that is truly Neil, Fairlight. I think that we should go to the river by his cabin to pray. Almost every time I think of Neil I picture him there." The two friends headed off to the McNeil cabin. They walked to the bank of the river and as they reached the spot where Neil and Christy shared their dance those many months ago Fairlight began to speak. "Christy, I know that you love Neil. I've know ever since I saw the two of you together that somehow you was meant to be with him. I know that you believe God sent you here for the youngens, but I think that God sent you here for Neil McNeil too." Fairlight paused to look at her dear friend. "I know that Neil loves you too, even if he don't realize it yet. That old man thinks he's to tough to fall in love again. And I'm sure it don't help none that you're a young city girl. I know he thinks your Momma and Daddy wouldn't approve of 'em. That's part of what's holdin' him back, girl. Sometimes, when your not lookin', and he thinks nobody else is lookin', I see him watchin' you. That's part of what's the matter with the Preacher, he's seen Doc McNeil watchin' you too. He's green with envy." "Fairlight," Christy interrupted. "Hush now, I'm gonna tell you how I feel. When you decided that you weren't gonna marry the Reverend I was real glad. I knowd he wouldn't make you happy. I see him treatin' you like you don't mount to nothin'. You're better 'n that Miss Christy. You have patience and kindness like nobody I ever seen before. I think that you could even find love in your heart to fergive Birdside for his moonshining if'n he were ta ask ya. I want to see you and Neil together someday, but I don't want to see you unhappy in the mean time. I have to tell you what I know, so you'll quit worryin' yourself about it." She looked deeply at Christy and took her hand. "Christy, now you know how they's somethings I can see. 'Bout like the time that you knowd that Opal needed you. Well, I seen some things 'bout you and Neil. As a matter of fact, I seen four things about you and Neil. Each one, but the leasten, with red curly hair. Your leasten's gonna be a girl and she'll look more like you with your colorin'. So don't you go worryin' bout Neil none where your concerned. He'll wake up to see what he's missin' one of these days. And when he does, boy oh boy!" Fairlight smiled at Christy and squeezed her hand. "Now, let's us say our prayer for the Doc. I gots youngen's ta feed. You can come join us fer lunch today, won't ya?" Christy answered that she would and she and Fairlight bowed their heads and prayed. When they were done they set off toward the Spencer cabin. "Just one more thing," Fairlight said just as they reached the fence posts, "Margaret died right after Miss Alice got to her. But she died with a smile on her face when Miss Alice took her hand. And that I know for a fact." A week later Neil McNeil and Alice Henderson stepped off of the train onto the depot platform in El Pano. I was a bright clear morning and the sun was shining through the new foliage on the trees. After un-stabling their horses at the blacksmiths the two set off for Cutter Gap. On the train ride to Atlanta they didn't speak to each other at all. Alice was still too furious with Neil for forcing her to come and Neil was just giving her time to cool down. All of her anger disappeared as she took Margaret's hand and held it as she passed away. Margaret's last words had been to her mother. She looked up at Miss Alice, told her she knew she would come and that she loved her. A light smile graced her face and she was gone. Neil and Margaret had argued about where to bury Margaret. Alice wanted to take her back to Cutter Gap, but Neil wanted to bury her there in Atlanta. "Alice, she always hated Cutter Gap. I think it would be a cruel thing to bury her there now," Neil argued. "Neil, Margaret's spirit has moved on. She will neither know or care where her body is buried. Burial is for the living. For the survivors who wish to mourn and remember the dead. Perhaps that is it. You wish neither to mourn or remember Margaret?" Alice questioned. "I've mourned her for eight long years. Every single day of those eight long years I had blamed myself for her death. I knew she was unhappy in Cutter Gap. I knew that she didn't want to be left alone in that cabin. Everyday I knew. Yet, everyday I left her to go and do my duty to the people of the Cove. I blamed myself for Margaret's drowning, until she came back. It was a hateful thing for her to do to me....and to you." Neil blinked back tears, "She let us believe for eight years that she was so unhappy there that she would kill herself. I don't think it was so much that she was unhappy as that she would not bring herself to even like what you and I loved so much." "No Alice, I mourned for those eight years and I will remember her for the rest of my life. I loved Margaret. I loved her vitality and her spunk, but Margaret did not love me. I will remember her forever, but I will not mourn her. My memories do not lie in a deep grave with a marble slab. I would rather my memories be of the laughter and the good times we had. None of that took place in Cutter Gap," Neil turned sharply and left Alice standing in awe. She had not seen him cry since Margaret's first funeral. In the end, Alice agreed that Margaret should be buried in Asheville. She too wished to remember the good parts of Margaret and for her there were also none in Cutter Gap. They held a small service to bless Margaret and then they were on their way home, to Cutter Gap. The ride home was much different from the ride to Atlanta. Alice Henderson began to like the man who had once been her son-in-law. She also realized that he held her in high esteem and with respect. It was the fact that she loved the mountains and it's people as much as he did that endeared her to him. "I have seen you work so many miracles with my people," Neil told her. "You have the patience and the guidance to see them through the roughest times and I quite admire you for that. Few people can do what you do for the people of Cutter Gap and so much good has come to them through you. After all, it was you who built the mission, you who mediates the feuds, you they seek for wisdom. It was you who brought in Chris., Miss Huddleston to teach their children." Neil flushed slightly at the thought of his slip-up and this did not go unnoticed by the eyes of Alice Henderson. "Neil," she said quietly, "I know thee has feelings for Miss Huddleston. Really there is no need to hide them. Margaret ran from you years ago. Thee and I both thought she was dead. Thee found your love with Christy after a considerable as well as proper mourning period. Yes, Neil, thee has found love in Christy Huddleston, thee just hasn't discovered it yet. Every other person in the cove knows how thee feels about Miss Huddleston, as well as how she feels about thee. That includes the Reverend Grantland. However, if thee and Miss Huddleston continue to deny thine feelings for each other, there may be nothing ever come of it. Thee shall live alone and lonely, and she will die an old maid. She has already proven that she will not marry for anything other than love." "I don't know what you're talking about Alice. Christy Huddleston and I are great friends, but we fight like cats and dogs. How could she possibly love me when she quarrels with me so?" Neal questioned. "Neil, as you know, I have never been married. I do not have much experience with dealings of the heart and the relationships between a woman and a man. I do know that if one bottles up their feelings and is unable to express them, they usually vent through frustration and anger. Thee and Christy are both very stubborn and headstrong people. It is hard for either of thee to admit wrongs. But, just to look at the two of you together, whether you are arguing or dancing, there is no mistaking the mutual affection. Besides, what better way to describe a love than to say that they make your blood boil!" Alice chuckled. Neil let the subject drop at that. He knew that he need not deny what Alice had said about his feelings for Christy. He had been considering her for a long time. He had pictured her in his cabin and dreamed of their life together. His heart had never been so full and then so disappointed as the time when she had suggested a help mate for him. He reveled in the thought that Christy would consider being his mate only to get the sudden shock of her true intentions. Though he had come to like Dan Scott, he would quite prefer having Christy as his help mate instead. Neil and Alice reached the mission just about suppertime. Alice invited Neil to join them for their evening meal, and to her surprise he agreed to stay. As the two topped the hill that brought the mission into view they could see smoke rising out of the school's stove pipe. "It looks like Miss Huddleston is there preparing for tomorrow's lesson," said Miss Alice. "Perhaps we should stop by and let her know that we've arrived home safely." Though Neil wanted to see Christy he didn't feel like he could face her right now, "No, Alice. We'll see her at the table for dinner." Christy hadn't heard them enter the mission yard. She was deep in thought, trying to plan the next days lessons. Her mind was not as focused as she would have liked. The past few days had been like that. She couldn't concentrate on much of anything but Neil. It hadn't been much help that Ruby Mae had been following her around like a lost puppy. She had never noticed before exactly how much attention Ruby Mae required. Normally the girl was off with Bessie Coburn or sharing a picnic with Rob Allen. Bessie had gone to Raven's Gap with her Ma to look after her Granny. Rob Allen had been busy helping Bob at the mill and hadn't had much spare time for picnics. Ruby Mae had just about exhausted Christy's patience when Rob did finally come to call. She had left the two of them out in the mission yard. Rob had volunteered to help Ruby Mae hand the sheets. Christy had escaped to go over her lesson plans. It was just too hard to think with all that chattering going on, so she headed off to the school. She had succeeded in planning out the history lesson and laying out the tools for the art project she'd planned. With Spring coming each child would be making an Easter basket. It wasn't hard to find the things needed for basket weaving in such an abundance of nature. She had laid out all of the reeds, twine and ribbons. Each child would have a nice new Easter basket this year. She and Miss Alice had already discussed having an egg hunt after the Sunday service. They would pair the children off according to age so as not to have any major conflicts. She had just finished cutting the last ribbon when she was startled by the sound of thunder. She had been so engrossed in her thoughts that she hadn't seen the coming storm. "Oh well, I'd better wrap this up for the day," she said aloud to herself. As covered the table with a spare blanket from the blanket box the rain began to come down. "Great," she thought to herself, "now I'll have to walk back in the rain. I'll be drenched by the time I make it to the mission." She wondered why no one had sent for her sooner. Surely they had seen the coming storm and realized that she would be stranded at the school house. "No," she thought, "Ruby Mae or Rob Allen, alone, might have thought of her, but together they would think of nothing but each other." She searched the room for something that might cover her enough to get her home semi-dry, but there was nothing. Stepping out onto the porch, Christy thrust her chin out. "Best to brave it now and quickly get it over with." Just as she stepped off the bottom step she slipped and fell stomach first into the mud. Picking herself up she gave up her last hope of going home dry. She made it to the halfway point when the rain began coming in fat drops which pounded her head, then turned to hail. She was being pummeled from every direction. Some of the stones would hit her directly and others would bounce up from the ground and catch her shins. It was one of these latter stones which did the most damage. Somehow, she hooked her coat and shielded herself from the hail stones. She could not, however, guard against the ones coming back up at her. One stone was polished and nearly a shard of glass. It bounced up at her and caught her behind the knee, slicing as it went. She managed to somehow scramble up the porch step and to the front door. She flung open the screen and ran straight into the last person she expected to see. "Good gracious, Christy. Are you out of your mind? What ever possessed you to come out into a storm like this? That hail is the size of one of the Reverend wee balls. You could have been given a concussion, or worse!" "Neil," she cried, "I'm ever so glad to see you." A slight smile graced his lips until he realized that she was indeed hurt. "What is it, Christy?" She was very grateful to see him, but how on earth could she show him what was wrong. She might have lived in these mountains for over a year, but she was still properly brought up. "Perhaps Alice could help me instead." She looked down toward her wound and blushed as she thought of exposing her leg to him. Neil glanced down as he realized where Christy's gaze was going. Alice had already seen the blood pouring from the leg hidden under Christy's skirt and was heading her way. "Perhaps I should help," she said giving Neil a knowing glance. "No Alice, by the looks of that puddle, she'll be needing stitches." Alice nodded and moved into the kitchen to begin boiling water. Neil scooped Christy up and sat her down on the kitchen bench. "Dr. McNeil, couldn't this be done somewhere else," Christy whispered. "It's bad enough that I should have my leg exposed to you, but must everyone else see it too?" At that Neil let out a bellowing laugh. "So it the exposure you're worried about, 'eh? Most young women would be crying their heads off over the scar it would leave on their leg. Don't you worry, Christy, I'll take you upstairs and stitch it so finely that a scar will never show." He chuckled again and quickly lifted her up. Alice spun around just in time to see Neil grabbing a kitchen towel and carrying Christ up the stairs. Neil gently deposited Christy on her own bed. "Thank you, Dr. McNeil, I should have been mortified to have David, much less Rob Allen, see my bare leg. I should never have gotten through the next school day without something being spoken around. You know what a gossip mill these children can be." "Yes, I think you and I have learned that the hard way, Christy. But do you think there won't be gossip when they find out you were carried up to your bed by me?" Christy blanched, as she thought of the reprecussions. "Oh, dear!" she cried. Miss Alice reached the doorway just in time to hear Neil say, "Perhaps I shall have to make an honest woman of you." There was a twinkle in his eye that Alice hadn't seen in a while, and Christy, never. He quickly dropped his head and began to inspect the cut. Alice glanced at Christy and noticed the puzzled look that crossed her face. She offered a deep smile and a slight raise of her eyebrows to suggest that she had known what would happen. Then she assisted Neil with grace and ease so that not ten minutes later Christy was all stitched up with only a minor amount of pain. Once again, Neil as all physician. "I want you in bed for the rest of the night, Miss Huddleston. Alice will help you to change out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia. I'll have Ruby Mae bring up some dinner for you." Christy opened her mouth to talk, but Neil interrupted her. "Yes, Miss Huddleston, you may return to school tomorrow. Ruby Mae must help you to carry your things in and out and you are not to stand for long. I'm afraid you'll have to do most of your lessons sitting down." "The cut was bad, but not too much so. I had to insert twelve stitches. It should heal quickly." He stood and began gathering his things together. He and Alice headed through the door. He glanced back at Christy. "I'll be back tomorrow to check on you. Don't overdo it at school. You never know, I might drop in there just to make sure you're taking it easy." He smiled at her again before adding, "The stitches can come out in about a week. Keep the bandage over it and change it three times a day. Good night Miss Huddleston." He winked as he went out the door. Christy spent the remainder of the evening in the silence of her bedroom. Her room may have been silent, but her mind was all a buzz with the evenings events. Had Neil really said what she thought he said? More even, had he really winked at her? She began to hope beyond hope that Neil did indeed say and do as she thought. The next day began bright and warm. After the nights storm there were many limbs down from trees, but the grass and leaves were showing signs of new life. Christy and Ruby Mae walked to the school in silence. Each with her own secret. Ruby Mae didn't know how to tell Miss Christy her news and Christy wouldn't dare divulge her secret thoughts to Ruby Mae. The silence was finally broken by Christy, "You're awfully quiet this morning Ruby Mae. Is something bothering you?" "Yes'm, they's something bother'n me. I got a lots of questions goin' through my head and can't right figur the answers out to 'em." Christy looked at Ruby Mae and offered her best advise. "Well, Miss Christy, I'm not so sure that you can help me either, bein' as you ain't never been in love or nothin'. See, well, I got this yearnin inside of me somethin fierce. I think it's love, but I don't know." "Ruby Mae, your really young. I understand that in the mountains girls have married a lot younger than you. You will be finishing school in a few months. You have definitely grown up and matured a lot since I first came to the cove. I assume we're talking about Rob. Am I right?" Christy asked. "Yes'm. Yesterday when we was hangin up the washin, he said that I's gonna make somebody a real fine wife and he reckon'd it oughta be him. I reckon that's as close as he's gonna come to askin fer my hand. Seein as I ain't got my Ma or Pa ta talk with.... And I thought of Miss Alice, but she taint never been married neither. Maybe I should just go to Doc McNeil or Miss Spencer or somethin?" "I'm glad you came to me Ruby Mae. I know that I'm not very experienced with love and such, but I think that I can give you some good advice. A good friend once helped me out with these same questions. Who do you think about when you go to bed at night? Who do you think about first when you wake in the morning? Who's your best friend? Who do you talk to about anything? Who makes your blood boil?" Christy looked at Ruby Mae and noticed the freckles fading behind the blush, just as Ben Pentland had discribed. "I reckon I'd have ta answer Rob Allen ta all them questions, Miss Christy," answered Ruby Mae. "Well then, I think we have our answer, Ruby Mae. Rob is in your heart and once someone is in your heart, he's there to stay. It would be foolish and unfair of you to ever marry some other man when Rob has such a hold of you." "Miss Christy, that's not what I'd expected from you a tall. I reckoned you'd fight me tooth n nail ta keep me in school an all." "Don't get me wrong. You will finish school before you and Rob marry. It would be silly of you not to. It's better to learn all you can before having children. That way, you'll be able to better appreciate the things that I will teach to them." Christy leaned over and kissed Ruby Mae's cheek. "You're like a little sister to me. I want to see you happy." Several times during school Christy thought she heard someone walking up the front porch steps. Her heart leapt. Neil had said that he might just check to make sure she was taking it easy. At recess Christy heard the noise for the fourth time. She rose to peek out the front door. She stepped outside just in time to catch Neil hopping off the porch and around the side of the building like one of her school children. "Neil McNeil!" Christy said in her best teacher voice. "Just what is it you think your doing?" Neil rounded the corner and she noticed the blush on his face. He was embarrassed at being caught.. "Miss Huddleston, I thought I told you to take it easy and stay off of your feet today. What are you doing strolling around the porch?" Neil said with sterness in his voice and mischief in his eyes. "Oh, no. Your not changing the subject on me this time. I would have been setting comfortably in my chair had I not heard footsteps on the porch for the forth time today. Dr. McNeil have you been spying on me? As though you couldn't trust me to obey your orders." "Miss Huddleston, you're too headstrong to obey anyone's orders, much less mine. I was just stopping by to see if you needed anything for the pain. Do you?" Neil retorted. "Oh, is that so, well then why did I find you slinking off the porch like a young boy about to be caught with a handful of candy?" "I wasn't slinking. I dropped my pipe off the porch, see!" Neil held up his pipe which was indeed covered with a bit of dirt. "I thought I might stop by and check your leg while the children were having recess. As for the little boy with the handful of candy. It wasn't my hands that were taking in the sweetness, but my eyes." He waited to watch her blush and then said, "On second thought, maybe I'd better look at that later this evening when I can count on Miss Alice's assistance. I will see you later, lass." Christy found it hard to concentrate on the afternoons lesson. She also found that she couldn't wait for the evening to come. She knew that it would have a few more surprises to expose. She was a bit mystified by Neil behavior and was quite unsure what to make of it. To put her mind at rest she decided to consult Miss Alice about it, though it may be hard for her, and see what she could make of it. As soon as school was over, and the children all on their way home, Ruby Mae helped Christy back up to the mission. They could see David out in the barn rubbing down Prince. He was talking to someone, but they couldn't see who it was. They did notice that he was being quite animated as he spoke. He seemed to be getting more and more emotional. Neil McNeil and David Grantland had never been close friends, but there was a time when they at least had respect for one another. That was before Christy Huddleston came to Cutter Gap. Now, the two men sat facing one another with emotions other than jealousy running through them. "Reverend, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but there is no one else I can go to. You are the last person in the world I would have wanted to face with this dilemma. I've nothing else to do." Neil looked almost a coward. David wandered what could cause Dr. McNeil to need his help. As if he already knew inside, his defenses rose. "Dr. McNeil, I think I know why you're here. I don't know if I'm the person to help you, but I can tell you this. You cannot go in search of the Lord to please Christy Huddleston. Granted, God wants us all, regardless of what brings us to him, but you'll not stay a believer long if you're only doing it to win Christy's heart." David paused and then to cover himself added, "I'm not saying this to discourage you from finding peace with God, or because I know that you would not be good enough for her without him. I've given up my dream of marrying Christy. In fact, I know how wrong it would have turned if she had said yes to me. How could I ever dream of having a family with a woman who loved someone else? Back in Boston, I could have my pick. You saw Sissel. I don't know why, but Christy turned my head. I've thought it over hard and come to a conclusion. I wanted Christy for her strength. I knew that she would be the one person I couldn't be and do the one thing I couldn't do....stand up to my Mother. I would have moved from under my headstrong mother to my headstrong wife. It wouldn't have done at all. I tried to minimize Christy's strength by treating her like a child. I know I was wrong." "You on the other hand, Doctor. You could stand up to Christy, and her you, and still come out with love and respect for each other. You are well suited for each other. Though it's always hard to give up a dream, I'll help you. Christy deserves a man who has full respect for her and treats her as a prize. You remember that won't you. Remember that Christy is a prize that you have won." "Reverend, I have respect for what you just said now. I don't think that I could accept God just to please Christy. I have been thinking over some things that Miss Alice spoke about on the train. Miss Alice is a very wise woman and a very Godly woman. I need to know how she can find peace and happiness in life after all she has been through. I need to know that same peace. I need her faith." " Christy will always be like a rare gem to me. That is if I can win her, as you say. I feel most comfortable with her. Though we do argue it is usually over deep things, such as God, religion and science. I want to know how it is that Christy and you are so sure of yourselves and of God. She says that God speaks to her, like the time she went to help Opal. I've never heard God speak. Why does he choose to speak to some people and not others?" "God speaks to us all, Doctor. It's just that some of us choose to ignore him or not listen at all. Sometimes he speaks through our conscience, sometimes through other people and their actions. It is rare for God to give an outright sign. Though he does still work miracles, it is usually through people, such as yourself." David laughed. "Neil McNeil, an instrument of God. I bet you'd never have believed it." "It's funny you should say that. My mother used to say the same to me when I was a wee lad. 'Neil', she'd say, 'you're an instrument of God. Live your life to make beautiful music for the Lord.' Funny I should remember that now. How I have failed her, my Mama. She was like Alice, very straight forward in her faith and always very happy. It seems that I am more of a thorn in God's side than an orchestra for his ears." "Neil, God loves you, no matter how you've been. What matters is that you acknowledge God and behave as a Christian from that day forward. If you ask God's forgiveness, all is forgotten. You will live as a Christian for God and that is what will count in Heaven." "Thank you Revrend. That certainly gives me something to think about. I'll leave you to your horse now. After I check Christy's cut, I'm going to go home and dust off my father's old Bible. It's been setting on the shelf for years now. I never could bring myself to get rid of it. Margaret even begged me to get rid of it once. I guess now I know why it had to stay. Thank you again. I'll see you later." As Neil stumbled out of the barn and up to the mission, his mind was in a thousand different places. He had to check Christy's wound, but what he wanted most was to get back to his cabin to pull out the old Bible. Christy had reached the mission with the intention of talking to Miss Alice, but she was no where to be found. Christy had gone about her chores in a somewhat downcast mood. She had hoped to clear her thoughts through Alice. Neil stopped by to check her stitches and redress the cut on her leg. Ruby Mae was required to assist him since Miss Alice was not at the mission. "It's looking just fine, Miss Huddleston," Neil said as he began redressing the cut. "You've taken fine care of it and followed my instructions well." Christy could see a bit of a twinkle in his eye and knew that he was teasing her. "Well, Doctor, I should be afraid not to follow your orders. According to you I could end with a quite nasty scar on my delicate skin if I were to waiver from them in the least," she mocked back. She felt that Neil longed to say more, but he was hampered by Ruby Mae's presence in the room. He was gathering his things to leave when Christy invited him to stay for coffee. "It will warm you up before you head back out," she offered. "No thank you, Christy. Though I do appreciate your thoughtfulness. I've got a lot on my mind tonight and I'm afraid I wouldn't be very good company. I've got a little catching up to do on a book I've been needing to read." "I'll see you ladies tomorrow," and with that he turned and left the mission. On his way out he said goodbye to David and bumped into Miss Alice as she entered the front door. "Are you leaving, Neil? Yes, I can see that you are. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you change Christy's wraps. Did you manage?" she inquired. "Yes, Alice. I managed just fine. Ruby Mae offered her assistance in your place," he said with a wink. "Now, as I've said before, I've got some reading to catch up on and I've kept it waiting far too long already. Reverend, Ladies," and with a nod of his head he was out the door. For the first time in weeks, Neil McNeil had an uninterrupted night, though he did not get much rest. The minute he walked through the door his eyes began to search the bookshelf. They came to rest on the old, worn Bible that his father had carried with him years ago. Neil thought about where he should begin and finally decided just to let the Bible fall open on it's own, to let God choose for him. His belief in God was not as weak as he had thought. He laid the Bible on the table and let it fall open. It fell to a spot with a page of paper folded into it. The paper was old, and yellowed. He carefully opened it and read it's contents. "Dear Neil," it said, "your father and I have loved you. You were truly a gift from God to us. We had longed so for a child and he finally saw fit to give you to us. We pray everyday that you will live wisely and in God's hands we know you will be safe. We pray that the road you choose will be a righteous one and that you will find happiness in what you choose. God be with you, Neil." Neil wiped the tears from his eyes and gently folded the piece of paper. He made a mental note that he would frame the paper and place it over the mantle. He began reading the Bible, his Bible. He lost all track of time until 2:00 am. He glanced at the clock and softly closed the book. He got down on his knees and said a prayer to God. "Lord, I have sinned in so many ways. I have held myself above you, Lord. I thought you could not possibly exist. That my ability for healing came from my own skill and determination, Lord. I took Margaret from her mother and her home. I brought her here to a place she hated and left her lonely. I didn't not bother with her happiness and will regret it for the rest of my life." "Lord, I want a life with Christy. I know that she loves these mountains and the people of Cutter Gap. I love her. I must know that she will be happy here for the rest of her life. God, I must know that the two of us will be happy here for the rest of our lives. I will not bring Christy through the pain I caused in Margaret. Lord, please show me a sign." With that final plea he rose and made his way to bed. He was resolved to leave the matter in God's hands. The days went by without a sign from God, but Neil did not waiver in his faith. He had rested the matter with God and was trusting in him to show the answer. Neil had accepted the fact that it may be an answer he didn't want to hear. The surprise showed on everyone's face the following Sunday, as Neil McNeil walked through the doors of the church. He took a seat next to Jeb Spencer and accepted a pat on the back from his old friend. David had been hoping to see Neil in church and had prepared his sermon with that expectation in mind. He had said a prayer for guidance on how to lead Neil through this transition. God had answered with what turned out to be the perfect sermon to reach Neil's soul. Neil did not stay long after the sermon. He said a warm welcome to everyone who greeted him and accepted all kinds of congratulations on his conversion from faithless to faithful. Fearing that someone would get the impression he had done this all to impress Christy, he did not pay her much attention. Though, he did yearn to be near her. He bid her welcome and a farewell in the same breath, then took his leave of the assembly. He knew he would see her later, as Alice had invited him to share their evening meal. As he approached the mission house and led Charlie to a stall in the barn he could see the light in Christy's upstairs window. He knew that she was there, probably working on her lessons. Just as he mounted the first step of the porch he heard her veranda doors open and the chatter of Ruby Mae. "Miss Christy, I just didn't know what to think of the Doc coming to church and all like that. It was pert near the nearest thing I ever seen to a miracle. Why I thought Doc didn't believe in God and all. Do you reckon he changed his mind?" Ruby Mae chattered on. "Ruby Mae, I was as surprised as you to see Neil, I mean Dr McNeil at church this morning. Though I do give praise to the Lord for it. He is a wonderful man and as far as I could see, not believing in God was his one true fault." "Oooeee, Miss Christy, it sounds ta me like your in love with the Doc. I ain't never heard anybody call 'em wonderful before. But I reckon it's bout time you two got together. Everybody round here can see the sparks a flying when the two of you are together." Christy at first feeling embarrassed, then a little angry began instead to feel like a school girl with a crush. "Ruby Mae, you shouldn't say such things! I've never acted unbecoming toward the Doctor, nor he to me. Those I must confess. I would consider myself lucky to attract the love of such a passionate man, and that would be one more reason to give my mother for staying in Cutter Gap. She just can't seem to accept the fact that I love this place and never want to leave. Aside from the fueding and the moonshining, I think that Cutter Gap is the perfect place for me." "And Neil McNeil is the perfect man fer you." Ruby Mae snickered. "Ruby Mae!" Christy exclaimed before she too began to giggle. Neil's heart beat a thousand miles a minute. Had he really heard what he thought he heard. He stepped up to the door and knocked. He could see the surprise register on Ruby Mae's face as she came down the stairs. Much more, he could see the look of utter disgrace on Christy's. She blanched as though all the life had left her. She knew that he had heard them talking. "Good evening Alice, Reverend, Ruby Mae. I want to thank you for having me for supper." He smiled around the room before his eyes came to rest on Christy. She could hardly look at him. She felt so humiliated. "Miss Huddleston, I wonder if you would accompany me out to the pond. There is something I would like to show you. I think it may interest you immensely." "Of c-c-course, Doctor," Christy stuttered. Trying to convince herself that maybe he hadn't actually heard everything, Christy smoothed her dress and followed Neil out the door. They reached the pond and Neil spun around to face Christy. The look on her face showed her defeat. She realized that he had heard and probably it had been the entire conversation. "Neil, I...." "Please Christy, don't trouble yourself. I did hear what was said between you and Ruby Mae. I want you to know that it wasn't anything you could help. It was my doing. I had prayed. I asked God to give me a sign. I let him know that I love you, but I would not pursue you unless I was certain that you were happy here. I needed to know that you would never leave. I never wanted you to be lonely or feel deserted by me." "Like Margaret did?" she asked. "Yes, like Margaret did. I could not do that to you, Christy. I love you will all of my being. I dream of you and hope that you will love me too. I had asked God for a sign that you would be happy here. God knows that I am a hardheaded, stubborn Scot. He took the most direct approach to get it through my thick skull. Is it true, Christy? Would you consider yourself lucky to have my adoration? You do, you know? I've loved you from the beginning." "I love you too, Neil. With all of my heart. I cannot bear to think of my life without you. I need you." Neil leaned over and took Christy in his arms. He held her tight against his chest and smoothed her hair with his fingers. When he released her, she looked up at him and smiled, then took his face between her hands and brought his lips down to hers. "Quite a bold move, my bonny lass. Suppose someone had seen us." "I don't care if the whole world sees, Neil. I don't care if my Mother sees. I want them all to know that I love you." Christy professed. "I feel so comfortable with you, Neal." "Aye, love. And me with you. Besides, I love your wild streak. What should we care if people want to talk about us. After all, as soon as it can be arranged, I'll make an honest woman of you." With a sly grin Neal pulled out a wedding ring that had been riding in his vest pocket for the past few days. The End!