Title: A KIND AND UNDERSTANDING HEART Author: Lorie DISCLAIMER: This story belongs to the LeSourd family, this story is being done for fun only. DISCLAIMER PS - This story takes place after the final episode. I have based it on the tv series, but have used a few elements from the book (like Miss Alice having her own cabin, and a few other things)I hope you enjoy the story. Also I will not even try to put down Neil's brogue - you just need to imaging that in for yourself. DISCLAIMER PPS - I am NOT an english major so expect problems with spelling, grammar and the like!!!! If you have any questions/comments please send it to lorieleighnowicki@excite.com and not to the above e-mail address. A KIND AND UNDERSTANDING HEART Chapter 1 In the months after Christy turned down David's marriage proposal, they began to slowly and painfully rebuild their friendship. David had used the time to get in tune with himself, and to ask all the hard questions that he had never taken the time to answer. Christy could see small changes starting to take place. The way he had spoken, in his slow sometimes halting speech, had been replaced. In church his preaching seemed somehow kinder, it reached out to the people of the come in a way that it had never done before. Margaret had stayed on, living with Neil in his cabin. Christy rarely saw them, and on the few occasions when a doctor was needed, Dan had been sent. When Neil did come around, it was to talk to Miss Alice or surprisingly a few times to David. At those times Christy would conveniently disappear to grade homework until Neil was gone. It wasn't so much that they avoided each other, more like they had gone from being the best of friends to just mere acquaintances. Christy spent her days teaching the cove children, loosing herself in the work she loved. She would spend any free time with Fairlight, walking, talking and just being together. She also spent time with Dan when he was free. She found in the both of them the same gentle spirit that she truly felt at ease with. She would sit and wonder how it was possible that she would find her dearest friends here, so far from Ashville. Miss Alice, who was like a second mother, Fairlight and Dan both true friends and confidants, David, Ruby May, and all the children. But she sorely missed Neil's friendship too. After a few months Miss Alice swallowed her pride and began to visit Margaret, at first once a week, then twice, then every day that she was in Cutter Gap. One time she took Christy with her, thinking Margaret could use a "young" face. Margaret was so rude and unpleasant that Christy swore that she would never go again. Margaret sat there looking wild eyed, throwing insults like knives, aiming them straight for Christy. Christy took the heavy insults and did not responding to them, thereby if possible making Margaret even angrier. By the time they managed to leave the McNeill cabin, she was sure that wild horses would never be able to drag her back. On the walk back home, Miss Alice apologized for her daughter, and for herself. Putting her arm over Christy's shoulder, they walked in silence for a time. When they came to a small outlook Christy stopped to watch the setting sun and the rising mist reaching out for each other. "Christy, I'm truly sorry for what Margaret said to thee, you must know that her behavior goes in the extremes these days. She can be my wild, happy-go-lucky little girl one moment and a stranger who's meaner than a snake the next. I live for the times when she is like her "old" self, and I tend to forget the rest. I should have warned thee, and I should have stopped her, I know that. But Margaret's days here are numbered, and I'm afraid that if I say anything, she will send me away." Miss Alice turned to look into Christy's eyes. "I love my daughter, I saw her into this world, and it is my dearest wish that I be with her when she passes out of it." Christy leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Miss Alice's worn cheek. "I know. You don't need to say anything else." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and straightened her spine. "Please Miss Alice, don't worry about me. I'm fine, really I am. Margaret is having a hard time, I know that and I forgive her. I just...well, you don't believe any of the things that Margaret said, do you?" Miss Alice reached up and wiped the rest of Christy's tears away and lovingly patted her cheek "Christy Huddleston, I know that you are a good and kind woman. Thee has the right to your own feelings, without Margaret's judgment. I and everyone else in this cove, can testify that you have handled yourself with nothing but dignity and integrity. I won't let anyone tell me different - even Margaret!" Christy managed a small smile "Yes, but it was your opinion that mattered the most to me." WHEN YOU'RE WEARY, FEELING SMALL WHEN TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES, I WILL DRY THEM ALL I'M ON YOUR SIDE WHEN TIMES GET ROUGH AND FRIENDS JUST CAN'T BE FOUND LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER, I WILL LAY ME DOWN LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER, I WILL LAY ME DOWN BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER PAUL SIMON _________________________________________________________________________ Summary: Christy has turned down David's marriage proposal, and Mags is living with Neil. Miss Alice and Mags are on speaking terms again. Miss Alice has taken Christy over to visit with Mags - and had left feeling unhappy. Miss Alice talked to her and made her feel better. TITLE: A KIND AND UNDERSTANDING HEART BY: LORIE Chapter 2 The following week Miss Alice was to depart to visit the other schools. She had promised Margaret that she would return by the end of the week. Already in a hurry to return, Alice skipped breakfast and left earlier than planned. After breakfast David went off with Spencer and Allen families to go to El Pano to look at a new horse that Jeb was intending to "rent". Christy let Ruby Mae go after the dishes were done and put away. Dan had promised to help the girls make hope chests. Tom and Opal went along as "Chaperones" when the older boys decided to tag along. one of the boys knew of a place where a lot of fallen trees could be found. So off they went, Dan and Tom were walking with axes on their shoulders. Opal walked with the girls who were giggling behind their hands, and the boys following behind talking in low voices. "about the girls, no doubt." Christy said glad that the two extra adults were going. After she had finished cleaning up the kitchen, there came a knock at the door. When Christy opened it there stood Neil with his hat clutched tightly in his hands. He took a step back from the doorway and Christy. "Hello, Miss Huddleston. I just came from Alice's cabin, she's not there. Is she here perhaps?" He asked peering past her into the house. "No, Miss Alice left about three hours ago." She couldn't help but notice the look of discomfort on his face. How dark the circles under his eyes looked. "Is there something that I can help you with, Doctor?" Neil sighed and looked intently at her. "Well it look's like I'm in a bit of a bind. I'm needed on the other side of the mountain, and I need someone to sit with Margaret. But everyone in the whole cove seems to have completely vanished." Christy laughed, "And what's wrong with me?" she asked Neil. He looked at his feet, as if embarrassed. "Well frankly Christy, after Alice told me what happened last week, I thought you would rather not be anywhere near Margaret." Neil took his eyes away from his feet and brought them back to her face. She looks tired, he thought. "Yes, well she's not exactly on of my favorite people at this moment. Just let me get some things in case I need to stay the night." Christy said, and without another remark, turned and walked away. Neil stepped into the room and saw Christy's paperwork on the table, he decided to write a note for David and Ruby May. Looking for a blank piece of paper Neil moved some of her papers aside. There was a letter with familiar handwriting that made him stop, he glanced down the page and read..."He would be interested in meeting with you to learn more about your ideas...Wealthy and offered to contribute to our cause...I encourage you to think about his offer..." Neil could hear footsteps on the stairs and put the letter back and found a blank piece of paper. He was almost done with the note by the time she stood next to him. "Oh, thank you Neil, just put it under the candlestick where they can see it. I forgot that I need to finish grading the children's work and finish some correspondence. This should keep my busy for a while at least. She picked up the papers and put them into her book bag. and added it to her small valise. Neil picked up the bags and walked out and mounted Charlie. He motioned for Christy to join him. She just looked at him unmoving. "No, it's quite all right. I can use the walk, and it will take me no time at all." Neil rubbed his hand along the stubble on his chin, "Christy, i have to pass my cabin to get where I'm going. Anyway, I don't want Margaret left alone for too long. Any way I need to give you some instructions on Margaret's care and it will be much faster if I can tell you along the way." After hesitating for a moment she reached up for Neil's hand. To avoid touching Neil, she grabbed on to the back of his jacket with both hands. On the way there Neil told her all the things she would need to know, by the time he was done talking they were just out of sight of his cabin. Neil stopped the horse and turned to look over his shoulder. "Thank you for doing this, I want you to know how much I appreciate what your doing." Christy looked away, not wanting to keep eye contact with him. "It's no problem, I'm happy to help you and Miss Alice out. And I...well, I like Margaret, at least I think I would like her, if she let me. I'm drawn to her in a way I can't explain, even to myself." Neil helped Christy off Charlie, and sat there contemplating. When he leaned over to talk there was such a look of tenderness in his eyes "I know what you mean, but Margaret seems to get energy by draining others of theirs. So take care of yourself. Just remember that she is ill and dependant on others, the tow things she hates most." Neil sat up strait and looked towards the cabin. "I think it would be best if I crossed here." She watched a Neil crossed the river, He turned to look over his shoulder and gave her a smile and a wave, then he was on his way. Christy took a deep breath and sent a prayer up, before heading to the McNeill cabin. ///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\ Im so tired but I cant sleep Standin' on the edge of something much too deep It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything, oh you gave me light I WILL REMEMBER YOU Sarah McLachlan _________________________________________________________________________ Summery: Neil is needed on the other side of the mountain, and needs some one to sit with Margaret. Christy is the only one he can find, and she surprised him by willingly agreeing to go. Neil see's a mysterious piece of mail with Christy's things. TITLE: A KIND AND UNDERSTANDING HEART BY: LORIE Chapter 3 Margaret sat silently for what seemed an eternity; until the cigarette she was smoking was nothing but a long piece of ash. She lifted the cigarette to her lips and watched as the ash got caught by the wind and flew across the porch. How long had she been sitting there...She flicked the butt of the cigarette out to the yard and glanced over at Christy. Christy the "Do-Gooder", was there no way to make the little school marm disappear? She was everything Margaret despised, and everything she had once wished she could have been. Christy was standing at the end of the porch, looking down in the direction of the river. To the very spot where Mac loved to fish, no doubt, funny Margaret thought, but I can remember doing the same thing on many a lonely night. Frankly Margaret had been surprised that it had been Christy that had showed up to "baby-sit" her. After the last visit, she was sure that she would be able to die in relative peace. Once Mother knew her "rules", she had'nt had any problems with her, and Mac stayed far away unless she needed something medical. Christy she had thought would need to be kept at a distance. Well she had tried, and failed miserably. That was just the way things were going for her lately. Margaret rummaged around in the pocked of her robe, found a new cigarette, and lit it, taking a long drag. She looked a Christy again, why was it that she couldn't' seem to hate the little schoolteacher? Resent yes at times, Dislike even envy maybe, she allowed. But did she hate her...No, for some reason she could not seed to actually hate her. She shook her head and ran her cold hand over her warm forehead. "Girl, you got it bad!" Margaret said exhaling smoke out her nose. Christy turned around so fast, and the look on her face was priceless! Margaret chuckled wryly. "No use trying to deny it, Christy. I can tell that you care for him, heck for all I know you may even love him." She sat still her eyes on Christy's face, judging her reaction. They held each other's gaze and for a split second, then Christy moved to sit next to Margaret on the bench. "{Yes, I do care, more then I should." She stated simply. Then sat silently waiting for Margaret to comment. When Margaret only gave Christy a measured look, and took a drag from her cigarette, she relaxed and laid her head on the rough bark of the cabin. "Christy, do you ever hear voices in your head?" Margaret asked in a quiet voice, Christy glanced at her, but margaret was busy looking intently into the pitch black woods. "Sure I do." Christy replied, not sure where this was leading to. "Well, when you hear the voice, is it "Your" voice? You know, telling you something like...'OK, time to grade the math quiz"? Margaret said doing her best to imitate Christy. "Christy laughed, recognizing herself in Margaret's words. "Well, yes sometimes. But sometimes I'm sure it's God's voice whispering in my ear." Christy said, not knowing if this was what Margaret wanted to hear. Margaret put her hand up in a questioning manner, "Yes, but how do you know that it's God talking to you and not your own voice in your head?" Christy shook her head "Sometimes I'm not sure, but I listen anyway, If it's not God, then it's my conscience telling me what to do." Margaret shook her head and laughed dryly, "Yes, but I suppose that only works if you have a conscience." Christy not knowing how to respond just sat there. She waited for Margaret to go on. They sat in silence for quite a while, and Christy was beginning to think that the conversation was over, then Margaret in a low voice started talking. "I think that I used to hear God talking to me when I was younger, but for some reason he stopped. But even when he did talk to me, it was like there was God over my right shoulder telling me "your good enough, I love you" and there was someone else over my left shoulder whispering whispering "Look at how your were born, that's way your sinful, you'll never be good enough." At first God's voice was loud and strong, but slowly the other voice got louder and soon I couldn't hear God's voice at all. After it was gone, I started believing what the other voice said." Christy took Margaret's cold hand in hers, and rubbed some warmth into it. "Margaret, I'm sure God never left you, maybe you just couldn't hear him at times..." Margaret squeezed Christy's hand and turned to look at her. "When I left Mother the first time the voices stopped for a short time. It felt so good to be really on my own, no Mother to tell me what to do, no voice but my own in my head. I always knew that Mother loved me, but sometimes when I'm near here I can't seem to help myself. I say and do the wrong things...I even think the wrong things. And even if she never sid it, I felt her disapproval, After awhile that's all I felt from her, even if it wasn't there I still felt it. So I just up and left, at first it was wonderful, then the voice found me. I met Mac around that time, he was so handsome and kind! He treated me like a lady, and when he was around the voice was silent. I would have loved Mac just for that! When he told me he was going back to his mountains, and asked me to come with him, I never stopped to even think about it. How could've I said no, I needed Mac to keep the voices away from me!" Margaret pulled her frantic eyes away from Christy and looked for another cigarette. Christy could feel the tears running down her face, but Margaret just sat there smoking and staring into the darkness. Even though she wasn't crying, her face was no longer hard, and her jaw looked relaxed." "You know Christy, when I came here with Mac, I really did try to be a good wife. At first the people here never called on him to help. Mac was always around, and we were happy. Sure, we argued a lot, but I think that was just the way we communicated. We never argued over anything very serious, and we always made up. I was hopeless as a housewife. I hate to mend, I hate to do the dishes, and I especially HATED that I had to bring up the water form the river to the the chores, which I hate in the first place! So most of the time I left them till we had nothing left to wear, and nothing left to eat on. Mac would tease me about it, but he was never mean. Margaret smiled remembering how it had been. "He did however "ban" me from his office, he said he was afraid the clutter would follow me in!" Then the people started coming to see Mac, and Mac said that it didn't look right for the doctor's house to be so slovenly. He said that we had to set an example for the mountain folk. Then worst of all he started going out on calls, he would be gone hours, at times days, and on a few occasions weeks." She turned and looked at Christy, bright blue eyes staring into bright blue eyes. "Every night Mac was away from home, I would sleep on the floor in front of the door. I was afraid to leave it unlocked in case Mac came home and couldn't get in. I was too afraid if I left it unlocked that one of the mountain men I had seen roaming around the cabin would just come in...I always felt that they were in the woods just out of site, watching , waiting for Mac to leave. The woods always seems to have evil eyes. And it on ly gets worse for me at night, every sound is someone coming to get me; the darkness seems to be only a veil to hide something hideous. That's when I started falling apart, when Mac and I would really fight. I felt that he didn't - No wrong word. I felt that he couldn't love me, when he was always leaving me alone. I didn't feel like he was running off the help someone, it felt like he was running away from me." Christy held Margaret hand tighter in hers, "I don't think that Neil would have knowingly tried to make you feel that way." Margaret shook her head knowingly. "You know Christy, for a few years after I left the cove, I blamed Mother, I thought if se had never found me that Mac and I could have stuck it out. Then I thought that it was Mac's fault. If he had only listened to me, and moved away, we would have been fine. You know it just occurred to me that I never told Neil exactly how unhappy I really was. I expected him to just know what I needed. I expected him to read my mind or my moods, but I never told him that I needed to leave. I never gave him the choice, because I was afraid that he wouldn't choose me." Margaret sighed and shrugged her shoulders "Our marriage had taken on a life of its own, it was like on of Mac's sick people. I've seen Mack try to breath life back into a dead man, he tries so hard to turn death away. He always has a hard time giving up, giving in, loosing. I knew he would take me back, not to would be giving up, saying he couldn't breath life back into our marriage. Even after all I did, he would take me back, that I could always count on." Christy said nothing, afraid if she said the wrong thing, that Margaret would retreat into silence. She sat quietly, unmoving holding Margaret's hand and waited for her to continue. Margaret pulled her hand away and searched for yet another cigarette. Fished on out, and lit it inhaling deeply before turning to look Christy in the eye once more. "Christy, you seem to be so accepting of others, but I wonder if you knew all my secrets, would you still be accepting of me?" She shifted her body so they were no longer touching. "You see I gave Mac more that that reason to hate me..." ///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\ You can run but you cannot hide This is widely known And what you plan to do with your foolish pride When you're all by yourself alone Once you tell somebody the way that you feel You can feel it beginning to ease I think it's true what they say about the squeaky wheel Always getting the grease. SHOWER THE PEOPLE BY JAMES TAYLOR _________________________________________________________________________